Final Fantasy [Begins]

[classy_cat18]

Kite Rowe

I’m such an idiot. All that time I’ve spent controlling my emotions, gone down the porcelain drain in the span of two days. And now it feels like I can’t cool down no matter what I do. I paused in front of the door of the guest room, contemplating snatching up Smashy and just leaving the house for good. But at the sound of footsteps, I went back to running for the front door.

“Kite, wait!” I heard Nova shout. I kept quiet and put my hand on the doorknob just I felt Nova’s hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry. She just—“

Something inside me snapped like a twig, and I spun around and threw a punch at his face, which he caught. “Please stay—“ he tried to speak.

I managed to surprise him with a kick to his balls. He cried out as he fell to the floor. “I don’t care if you had sex with her or not!” I shouted, surprised by my own words. I paused in confusion. There was this weird feeling of relief. “Don’t… care… that’s right. Don’t care.”

“Wh-wha?” he grunted while he curled up on the floor.

“Do whatever you want to do,” I said slowly. “I don’t care anymore. Marry her, have kids with her, I don’t care anymore! Do whatever you want to do with your life! Get turned into a cieth, get turned into crystal, whatever! I DON’T CARE! It’s your goddamn life! It’s time I got my own! The sooner this whole mess is over, the sooner I can get away from you!”

“At leaoowwww,” he whimpered as he sat up. “Damn, you’re wearing steel toed boots, aren’t you?”

I chuckled, but was quickly cut short by a wave of dizziness. No food, little sleep, nightmares, stress… yep, need to sit down.

“Kite?” I heard Nova say.

“Not. A. Word. The next word you say to me will be an end to your ability to procreate. And I’ll use Smashy for that to make sure.” I flashed a glare at him. “I mean it.”

“Guys?” I looked up at Jin with the same glare. He gulped and stuttered before speaking again. “Are you two going to be alright?”

I nodded slightly and stumbled to the kitchen. There was a whole basket of assorted fruit for the taking. I had one in my hand when Eden walked downstairs with a neutral look. Jin and I froze, eyeing her carefully as she headed for the coffee maker. At the first sign of danger, I was bolting for the front door. But she was more interested in Nova. She stood next to him and gave me and Jin a look that scared both of us. I snatched the whole bowl of fruit and slipped into the nearest room while Jin ran upstairs.

I ended up in the study that Nova showed us when we first got here. It was a nice room, with shelves of books and a piano. I sat in the corner and started eating the food that I had taken from the kitchen, the ripest and tastiest fruit I had ever eaten. That was probably because I hadn’t eaten since the Parade.

I’m such an idiot. I should have known that blurting out that confession at the temple would’ve made things worse. Now every time we’re together is going to be awkward or violent… oh wait, I said I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Not that he probably cares. And we don’t have a lot of time on this world anyway. I stopped eating for a moment.

“And why should it care if I get my life back or not? It’s just going to be more salvage work back at Ramblum. Stuffy military life or no, at least Nova had this. I don’t even have much education to depend on. Just reading and writing, and basic arithmetic.” Cid didn’t see the need for sending a boy with no social skills to school.

“Beep?”

I raised my eyes to look at Babs. “Did we wake you up?” I fed her a berry. “I’ll give you another if you don’t tell anyone where I am. Especially not Eden.”

“Beep!” She opened her beak so I could feed her another.

“Who’d thought a ditchcrawler like me would have the chance to go to Alexandria? If I stepped outside, I’d probably get arrested on the spot. I scream ‘streetrat’. I’m probably some call girl’s child born out of wedlock on top of that. Hardly a dime to my name. If it wasn’t for Cid, I’d be dead on the outskirts of Ramblum. All I could think of was working for him so I wouldn’t be a burden.”

I ate a little more. I was feeling a lot better physically. “Then Nova showed up there one day. This idiot that kept getting into trouble, and shrugged it off like it was no big deal. I took it upon myself to making sure the fool didn’t get killed. But he didn’t care where I came from and was comfortable around me. I guess guys aren’t that picky about appearances. Well, I know there are girls who wouldn’t mind but if they’re not disgusted, then they’re pitying me. Nova probably just thought the burn was the result of an accident on the job. Not sure if he even knows about the missing toes. Not even my personality kept him away, which just about everyone was put off by. I was afraid that if I told him what I felt about him, he’d stay away and that would be the end of our friendship, the biggest thing that existed in my life outside my job. I knew he didn’t feel that way. But I had hoped that I would have a chance. I’m such an idiot. Now I can’t look at him without either wanting to punch his face or…”

I shook my head to clear it, and took a big bite out of another piece of fruit. If I could just concentrate on something else for a while, that would make a big difference. I reached out and grabbed a book, reading as I ate.