Darien Shields
3rd December 2004, 06:33 PM
Fan Forum E-zine: December I
Presented by Pig on a Wing and Darien Shields
Seasons Greetings all! I have returned from my absence as you all probably know, to attend the E-zine once more. As is the usual, I must apologise for the 'zine being some three days (and two months) late. PoaW had all the stuff and it got to December first and I had to PM him, and he had to PM me... and I was asleep... and then my darn *life* got in the way (don't you just hate those things?) and here we are now. Well, no more time for excuses, we have a show to put on!
This 'hallowed' month we will be finally starting the long awaited contest, so get your pens and paper out- or if you actually want to stand a better chance of winning, opening up your word processor, and get ready! Entries can be submitted any time from now on, but the judging will be first come-first served, and the cut off is new-year's (Although I'd rather we finish before then, but I don't want to hem you in to too short a time.) Look on for the details of the contest.
Oh, and may I just formally and once more state my great appreciation for Pig on a Wing (aka Snorlax 19, as I knew him best) who was undertaking the project just as I returned, and most of this month's collation and co-ordination was done by him. As long as it suits him, I would like it if he could manage the mid-month E-zine, so we have two a month, without the bother of having them managed by one lazy soul (err, the lazy soul would've been me.)
Contents
Contest: Chain Fic Starting Competition
Fanfic Monthly Spotlight: 'Lucky Charms' by Brit Chris
_ Reviewer: N/A
_ Interviewer: Pig On The Wing
Fanfic Under-Appreciated Spotlight: 'The Born Legacy' by TheBlueAvenger
_ Reviewer: mistysakura
_ Interviewer: Pig On The Wing
Column by Tainted: 'Writing And You'
Preview: 'War On Terror' by Pig On The Wing
Credits
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Contest: The Contest to end all Contests!
No one can accuse me of not being melodramatic ^_^ Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty of it, let me explain the long running ramifications of the contest. The contest is to find the writers for running Chain Fic that will accompany the E-zine. Every month (or every half month, if the authors are up to it) a chapter will be written and posted along with the Zine. Now, I believe we're after six writers (judges- stop me if I'm wrong) for this, and here's the general idea. Rather than running a contest every month for the next entry (IMO that's a waste of everyone's time, as a lot of people write a lot of un-entered chapters), we will run this, one contest, and the top six winners shall become the six writers. Whoever came first, their submission will be used. Whoever came second will write the second chapter, and whoever came third shall write the third, etc. There will be chances for other people to write later on, but at present it is best just to think of this and this system. So, once more to clarify if you want to write in the Chain Fic At-All, you must enter this competition. And without further ado, the details;
The fic must be a pokemon fic. I'm sorry, for those of you who do not like pokemon, but it is after all a pokemon board, and if we didn't have this common specification, then we would all have widely varied ideas that would be hard to compare. Secondly it is a trainer fic of sorts, once more I apologise to those who do not like writing or reading this sort of thing, but most of “the greats” were trainer fics, and we follow in that grand tradition, hoping that ours will be a great too. Once more I ask my judges, please correct me if I am mistaken, it has been many a month since I had to utter these words or come to these final conclusions, and I may have warped proposals and conclusions into the one, but hoping that I am correct, here we go;
The “Twist” which the fic must have, and I mean must- this is essential to competition entries, is that the main character, a pokemon trainer (not to put ideas into peoples heads, but lets stick with human? Or at least quite close to human?) is bound by some way to a Dark Pokemon. Dark referring not to type (although dark types would be a good idea), but to nature- the pokemon is evil, their bond is mental, the stronger it is the more their thoughts become one. It must be stressed that this isn't exactly the same as telepathy, after all it is most likely a dark pokemon, which would be immune, telepathy is hearing one another's thoughts. The trainer's and the pokemon's are literally becoming one. How the bond came about is up to you, as is the pokemon (Fakemon are most definitely allowed, and I strongly encourage entrants to try their hand at making one.) The trainer's objective is to cure himself of this terrible affliction, by winning the pokemon league- the prize to which is coincidentally his cure. I suppose he could seek it otherwise, but that's a good place to start, especially if it's a trainer fic!
And in case there is any confusion, judges may enter.
On your marks... get set... Write!
EDIT: Registration and Submition
Those planning to enter should Register by replying to this topic and stating their intentions. When you've completed your entry submit it via e-mail. Entries have a minimum of 5000 words and a maximum of 15000. Marks will be deducted for word counts outside those limits.
Registration deadline is the 25th of December, Submition Deadline is lets say 10th of January. Late Submitions will be marked down, and I don't know about late registrations... if you have a good excuse okay, if you don't you're not allowed to enter.
At the time of this edit Mr. Pikachu and myself have registerred.
EDIT: EDIT:
Sorry! My memory is terrible, I totally forgot about this... since I didn't state it before I'll make it more of a strong guideline than a set-in-stone rule, although it is preferable to have this included. The bond or mergeance between the main character and the pokemon Strengthens WHEN EITHER FEELS PAIN. Got that? Sorry for my forgetfulness.
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Fanfic Monthly Spotlight: 'Lucky Charms' by Brit Chris
Review: N/A
Interview:
Q1: Your previous fic, Monica's Revolution is almost a Pokemon/Fantasy crossover. How do you think this has affected Lucky Charms?
-Hmm, well there are very little Pokemon aspects in Monica's Revolution, so really, after having not focused on trainer fics for some time, the elements that make a trainer fic have been more emphasised, I guess.
Q2: So far, has Lucky Charms or Monica's Revolution been easier to write?
I think Lucky Charms, because Trainer Fics in themselves are easy to write (I can often write pages at a time,) but with MR, in which the battles were longer, had much more emotion to them and a lot more feel, they were sometimes hard to get into the right frame of mind for. As a result, some work was slow. Plot developments, as well as the plot twists it's renowned for, were really hard to do, and even during school Id jot down ways to get around a situation. Now, for the next Fantasy Fic, the entire story will be mapped out first.
Q3: What made you step away from writing fantasy and going to all out Pokemon?
-To be honest, I've written Trainer a lot more - it helped me find my footing. After playing RPG's and Fantasy Questy games, I felt a really strong urge to write one, and Monica, who appeared in an old fanfic 'The Indigo Road', soon appeared as the main star. I like to alternate it, so my writing in Pokemon is never outdone by my writing in Fantasy.
Q4: People have commented in their replies about crude scenes in your fic, but they continue reading. What do you think the reason for complaining and then reading anyway is?
-I think, really, there's a lot of innocence to be had in Trainer Fics. I also think an aspect is that its so unexpected, especially as Rikki is only 13 (another difficulty I found in writing the fic). I found them to be rather humerous, myself, but maybe I'm just weird.
-I also feel perhaps theyre not too strong to drive people away from the fic.
Q5: You put a competition into your fic, do you this has in any way affected its popularity?
-I had hoped it would, but inevitably, it hasn't. *shrug*
Q6: Your fic started off with lots of readers and replies, yet now you don't get so many replies. Do you think that readership has gone down, or people are reading and just not relpying?
-I think people do read it - the post count shoots up all the time. Perhaps people don't feel obliged to reply. I'm really not sure.
Q7: You reply to your readers replies. How do you think this affects readers?
-I always do, because it helps show I don't ignore them. I've made some good TPM friends through fanfics, and it develops a bond between us, really.
Q8: What're your plans once Monica's Revolution and Lucky Charms is finished?
-Monica's Revolution is steadily drawing to a close. I planned to launch Lucky Charms directly after MR, but got excited and posted it during MR. After Lucky Charms, once everybody is sick of Pokemon, there are *plans* for a Third in the Monica series, but that is all dependant on the events in Chapter 37, and how Book II ends...
Q9: Monica's Revolution is drawing to a close. How would you say this has affected the popularity of Lucky Charms, if at all?
-I think, after MR, some MR readers may check Lucky Charms out. I can hope, anyway. I found that when Lucky Charms was up (Did I mention its a 3rd try remake?) against another TRAINER fic, From Rookie To Champion, everyone was already engrossed in FRTC and had no time for LC.
Q10: Finally, is there anything you'd like to say to your readers?
-RAR: Read And Reply. Support is always welcome, guys, and I'd like to involve you all as much as I can, so get in touch!
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Fanfic Under-Appreciated Spotlight: 'The Born Legacy' by TheBlueAvenger
Review:
-Plot (13/20 points): So far, pretty straightforward. A boy racing in his first Grand Prix, will he succeed, etc. A few plot twists (these are discussed in Plot Originality). The plot is not particularly captivating or interesting, because it is so typical, but it has potential. The mysterious Deathborn, for instance, opens up new pathways and plot twists, because there are so many possibilities as to why he attacked Terry and what he wants, and it can be used to create suspense and keep readers interested. So, I think that the plot of this fic has potential, but it is yet to be developed (and that’s through no fault of the author, since the fic has only six chapters so far).
-Plot Originality (7/10 points): Well, this is the first F-Zero fanfic I’ve ever read, so I wouldn’t have a clue how many other people have used this concept. But to me, it seems fairly original; there’s the standard racing in the Grand Prix plot, but there are twists like Terry running away from Einstein Academy to race, and the races aren’t always predictable wins. I would like to see the original ideas developed on, though; for instance, the thing with Terry leaving the Einstein Academy, that could be developed more and could make the entire plot more original, for example if the academy is constantly trying to drag him back or something (I know they give him some freedom, but leaving school to join the Grand Prix might be going a bit far).
-Writing Style (12/20 points): Not bad. You create atmosphere quite well; the tension and Terry’s concentration in the races is shown clearly by his thoughts, for example. The little bits of humor, like the jokes about Cheatum and the swearing filter (love that bit) also liven up the fic a bit.
There is enough detail for us to be able to visualize everything in our minds, especially in the racing, which made it enjoyable. It is a bit heavy though, like there would be this huge chunk of description and not much action. While detail is good, too much of it can disrupt the flow of the fic, and frustrate the readers. Take where you described all the contestants in Terry’s first race, for instance. It introduces us to all the racers, yes, but it takes the focus off Terry. That in itself really isn’t that bad, except readers will be thinking “get to the race already”, but the other thing that happens is that people will begin to get bored because they are reading all this seemingly irrelevant and unnecessary description, and in such large quantities too. It is often a good idea to use description in varying quantities, using more when you want to draw attention to something, and less for less important things. Putting description in small chunks, and inserting them between interesting action, also keeps readers more interested.
The dialogue is alright, it does what it’s supposed to do, but sometimes it can sound a bit forced. For example, when Daigoroh says “I was having fun berating him!”, it sounds strange because “berating” isn’t a word you’d generally use in conversation. When it’s, say, the announcer who says something like that, it’s fine because he’s speaking to the public and jazzing up his sentences, but in normal conversation it’s a bit out of place. It’s good to read speech aloud, and put yourself in the character’s place, to decide whether the speech fits the person and the situation.
-Spelling and Grammar (10/10 points): Can’t see any mistakes (certain grammarians may find some though ), and it can’t get any better than that.
-Characters (11/15 points): You’ve given your characters a good bit of personality. Because of all the detail that is provided, even the minor characters stand out (take Don Genie, for instance). The mysterious attacker is also done well, because we can see his ruthlessness and there is a sense of mystery to him. There were a couple of things that were a bit annoying, the first being the sheer number of characters, especially recurring minor characters. They can be a bit hard to keep track of, especially when introduced in a short period of time. The second thing is that the characters don’t seem to have much depth. Take Daigoroh, for instance. He seems to be an average spoilt, bratty kid, and that’s the only thing we’ve seen about him. People aren’t simple and one-sided like that, and it would be great if your characters were developed more; like talk about other qualities a person has besides the main, obvious one, and why a character acts a certain way, etc. I can see that starting to happen (like with Daigoroh saying that losing isn’t everything), and that’s great.
-Settings (11/15 points): While not mentioned much, when they are mentioned, the settings are described adequately. I like the distinctions between different cities, such as Mute City being old and a bit dilapidated compared to the modern Aeropolis. Unlike other things in this fic, the detail here does not go overboard, but just gives us a taste of what the place is like. Your description of racetracks in the introduction of the Grand Prix sounded fascinating, so it was a bit disappointing to find that in the actual races, no attention is paid to them at all. It would be nice to see the differences between all the race tracks; but I suppose it’s because the first one is a typical racetrack, so you didn’t describe it. Just make the unique ones special.
-Overall Appreciation (6.5/10 points): This fic has potential; it’s just that it hasn’t had time to develop all its ideas properly. Yet, a good beginning is what draws readers in and makes them interested enough to keep reading, so it can’t totally be blamed on that. And the over-description can get in the way sometimes. But really, there’s good stuff in there, so if you keep writing this will turn out to be quite an interesting fic.
Final Result 70.5/100 = 70.5%.
Closing advice: The biggest problem here is the over-description; work your way around that somehow, and ths fic will improve. There are aother problems like depth of character and stuff, but these are fairly minor compared with those of writing style, because if people can’t make it through a chapter, it won’t matter how good your characters and settings are. Plot should develop itself as the fic goes on. And well, this is a Pokémon forum. In order to get readers here, you’ll have to make your fic pretty good. So don’t get discouraged if you only get a couple of readers. Just keep writing.
Interview:
Q1: Your fic is an F-Zero fic, do you think this has in anyway affected its popularity?
-Your fic is an F-Zero fic, do you think this has in anyway affected its popularity?
Q2: In your fic, you insert funny scenes into the chapter. What effect do you think this has on readers?
-F-Zero is mostly a serious game - bounty hunters, universal cosmic evils, and the like - but as a rule I try not to make things too serious. Even if I try a somber scene, it comes off as light-hearted. As for the readers, well... I hope that they find it funny, but if they don't, that's why my story is not humor overall.
Q3: Your fic seems to have quite low readership. Do you think there is any particular reason(s) for this?
-My best guess is that F-Zero isn't exactly a hot topic on a Pokemon board.
Q4: You offered the chance for readers to submit themselves as characters in your fic. How do you think this has affected your fic in general?
-It has not affected it very much, as only one person has submitted, but hey, if more people submit, then it could have the potential to affect the story very much. I can be very flexible in my writing, though, so I can fit people in.
Q5: You introduce each character with a little paragraph based on their description. Do you think this has a positive or a negative impact on your readers?
-I quite honestly do not know - I feel, however, that if the audience can get a feel for a character, however tedious (like in the 'first race' chapter), then they might be able to connect with them better.
Q6: Do you think you have an idea as to why you have such low readership?
-Heh, this is the same as Q3.
Q7: Even though you have a seemingly low readership, you continue to update. What makes you carry on?
-I like to write. When I have spare time, I like to sit down and work on a chapter or two. I know that there are some authors that devote more of their life to writing than I do, and I think that if I did do that, I wouldn't like writing as much. It is a way to unwind, for me.
Q8: Finally, what've you got to say to your readers?
-Thank you very much for taking time to read my fic.
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'Writing And You' - Tainted
Writing and You
Brought to you by our friendly neighborhood Zak Hunter
I swear to God, I just screamed, “Help me!” at the top of my lungs, so loud, that the walls caved in around me in quite an astounding feat. So astounding, in fact, that America declared war on the former Soviet Russia, as they thought Russia had sent a nuke to the states and missed.
Well, all right—since I love you guys so much, I’ll come clean with you. I lied. I’m not a lying man, I don’t lie much, but I figured it’d give you an idea of how frustrated I am right now about writing in general.
All right, to get this kick-started, this article and the following articles will contain my day-to-day frustrations, or ascents with writing. In all reality, it’s a journal about writing, and a journal that I am willing to share with all of you as I feel my frustrations as a writer are spread amongst the population of this forum.
Here’s the first one that I haven’t seen spread amongst too many writers, but that I know I have a fond sarcastic admiration for. It’s a little thing scientists like to call, and I quote, “having too many ****ing ideas at one time.” Quite the scientific name, I might add, I had to read it a couple of times before I decided to look up each little word in the dictionary to decipher the message.
I have the disease. I have caught the dreaded “Too Many ****ing Ideas At One Time” (TMFIAOT) syndrome, and you may have too. Symptoms of said disease may include:
-The wanting to write tons of stories at once, without taking into consideration how much skill and time set aside it will take to, first of all, not get the stories confused—and, second of all, to not just stop writing under stress.
-The lucid, almost crazed madness that happens to a writer when he deletes all of his old stories off of Microsoft Word in hopes of pursuing the newest idea.
Now, let’s talk about a cure. Much like herpes and a few other sexually transmitted diseases—there is no cure, only prevention. So, all that I can suggest is to talk about your upcoming idea with another writer, or a reader—and maybe you’ll decide that this idea is not quite what it’s cracked up to be, or maybe it’ll be the complete opposite. That said, finding someone to talk to about said ideas might be hard—but if you’re in doubt, you can always contact me via PM (The username is ‘Tainted’ without quotations) and we can discuss your idea. Why did I not mention the ‘Official Fic Idea Topic?’ I didn’t mention that topic because I don’t think it works very well. Sure, writers get to throw down all what they have planned—but there is very little to nothing feedback wise. And feedback is, in my opinion, the most essential part of starting a new story.
So, take that advice and wear a condom and you should be able to prevent most severe cases of TMFIAOT syndrome, oh, and some sexually transmitted diseases too. Minor side affects may include: verbal diarrhea (from all the talking about the new idea).
That’s it. I’m done. Did you like it? No? Too ****ing bad, because I’m going to keep writing these.
Adieu,
Zak Hunter
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Preview: 'War On Terror' by Pig On The Wing
Yes, I've stolen the Preview. Mwa ha ha. This is something I began writing after the 2004 elections, and if the title doesn't give away what this is about, then the story clearly isn't for you. Enjoy.
War On Terror
Chapter 1
The room was massive. There was an intricately carved oak door on the wall. Opposite this wall was a massive window that covered the entire distance of the wall, the pane split into smaller squares by thin beams of white wood. Along both walls at the side of the office, two massive bookshelves stood against each wall, totalling four bookshelves in all, all of them brimming with books. Next to the book shelves on the left side of the wall was a large water cooler, and next to that was a bin. On the floor next to the bookshelves on the opposite side of the room was a large paper shredder. In front of the window was a large desk. A wedge of wood, with a gold placard with the occupant of the room’s name, a small golden falcon figure, and numerous bits of paper, all stacked into several small stacks. There was a black phone in the centre.
On either side of the door leading in and out of the room, stood two tall, white men. Both men wore suits, had perfectly polished black shoes, sunglasses and an earpiece in one of their ears.
The desk had two chairs on either side of it. One chair was occupied by a small, fat black man. He wore a beige suit, and also had sunglasses and polished shoes. He had a beige hat on that matched his suit.
The other chair was empty. The man who probably usually occupied it was standing by the window staring out onto the green courtyards below him, the many police patrols going around the building, the American flag flying high and proud on its golden flag pole. The man sighed slowly and turned round.
His hair was grey, his eyes a lifeless brown. He too wore a suit, had polished black shoes, but unlike the others he was not wearing any glasses. His face on the whole resembled that of a chimpanzee.
"I don’t want this," George Bush sighed as he faced the fat man in the chair. The man smiled and chuckled a wheezy laugh, flashing his yellowy teeth in the process.
"I’m afraid you don’t have much choice," he said. He reached into the inner pocket of his blazer and two clicks were heard as the two men by the door whipped out a revolver each, and loaded them in a flash. The man spun round on the swivel chair.
"No need for dat now, is dere boys?" he said, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, producing a lighter from another of his pockets and sparking it up, before putting the lighter away. He took a deep puff and the smoke circled around him.
"Well Mr. President?" he said slowly. Bush’s face crinkled up as he thought hard about it.
"I don’t know. The war in Iraq’s risky enough as it is, to go after the Russians as well… it’ll only make things worse," he said after a while. The black man took a few more puffs of his cigar, before he said his next words.
"It’s war. And it’s contributing to the war on terrorism. Russian extremists are no different to Iraqi extremists, Muslim extremists and so on and so forth."
Bush sighed and faced the window again. "You’ve won me," he said, "Yes, go ahead with it."
"Pleasure doin’ business wid ya," the man smiled, and shifted out of the chair, turning and allowing one of the bodyguards to escort him out of the building.
"Are you sure you made the right decision?" the remaining bodyguard asked after the door had been shut.
"No," Bush replied. He sat down on the chair that had been empty the whole time and picked up the receiver of the phone. He waited a few seconds before putting it down again.
"What?" the bodyguard asked.
"No, nothing," Bush said, staring absent mindedly at the phone. "Tony doesn’t need to know."
~
An explosion caused a carpet of dust of sand to billow up, obscuring most of the troops. The seventeen troops spread out in a wide position, as far away from each other as possible, as long as they could each see one other member, and all began to fire their AK-47’s relentlessly, pausing only briefly to reload.
"We’ll get some this time!" one screamed down the microphone around his neck.
The gunfire was soon returned though; bullets shot out of the dust into Fallujah, and bullets shot out of Fallujah into the dust and sand. More sand and dust was thrown up as the bullets peppered the ground, but miraculously the troops remained unharmed.
The seventeen were clad in black combat gear, with black helmets, which contained clear visors, an earphone and a microphone. They were all armed with AK-47’s and plenty of ammo as well as five grenades each. They were the Elite Unit, only used in the most difficult of circumstances were absolutely necessary.
Underneath their black combat gear, they wore thick bullet proof vests, and strapped round their waists was a first aid kit, containing the bare essentials.
Since Saddam was knocked from power, the American troops and Iraqi rebels had battled it out over Fallujah, the Iraqi’s managing to hold their own ground every time. So the Elite Unit had been sent in to finish the job.
The Elite Unit consisted of more than just the 17 men currently there. 50 of them were inside Fallujah, working under cover, bringing the rebels down from the inside, anyway possible. And back at the US camps, at least 20 hackers worked hard to break into Iraqi police computers, trying to find strategic places to be, and where the rebels were attacking, or possibly planning on attacking.
"You know there are still about 500 rebels still in there?" shouted one of the Elite’s through his radio.
"Yeah," another shouted back, "But getting it from 1500 down to 500 in three days ain’t exactly bad, is it?"
"Hit the decks!" a voice screamed frantically, and the silhouettes of 17 people diving to the ground could just be seen through the mass screening of sand and dust.
A few seconds later, a rocket shot out of Fallujah, and powered its way through where some of the troops had been. It carried on going till it was out of sight, but the explosion was heard; it had hit an American tank.
The Elite Unit had been sent forth to try and take out as many rebels as possible and clear out as much of Fallujah. Most of rebels had been killed by inside-men and now only a few remained, and although heavily outnumbered and outgunned, the Elite’s were fully capable of clearing Fallujah out completely. Not far behind the Elite’s was the bulk of American force into Fallujah.
Silence followed. The sand and dust settled, revealing seven black clothed Americans lying in the dirt, covered in sand.
One inched slowly forward. He moved so slowly it looked as though he wasn’t moving at all, but he inched closer and closer to boundaries of Fallujah, were buildings stood, most only remains of buildings, all the rest severely damaged.
"What’re you doing?" hissed one of Elite through his radio.
"I’ve seen some," the man creeping forward whispered back, without moving his lips. He eventually was only a tiny distance from the buildings. He rolled forward, leapt onto his feet and sprinted forward, diving, rolling, and eventually coming to a kneeling position with his back against a building. Machine gun fire peppered the ground, following him, until he couldn’t be reached.
The man pulled a grenade from one of his many uniform pockets, and pulled the pin out with his teeth. Without hesitating, he ran out from where he was and spun round, hurling the grenade with perfect accuracy through the space where a window once was on the building he’d been leaning against, about the third floor up, on the right.
The man was instantly gunned down by machine guns, but a few seconds later his grenade exploded. The whole room it had been in was obscured briefly by a massive orange flame, and then by smoke that drifted out of the window. The 16 remaining members of the Elite Unit took a moment to mourn the loss of one of their men, before leaping up and sprinting back to join the bulk of the American forces.
~
"There’s not much left to do is there?" Tony Blair said to John Prescott. The fat man raised his sluggish head and stared at Blair.
"So we’re pulling out?" he said, his dull face almost smiling. Almost.
"Oh heavens no," Blair said, and the slight facial expression on Prescott’s face disappeared. "We’re pouring everything we’ve got into it. Forget the health budget, the education; the police forces… forget them all. We’re going in, all out."
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Credits
Pig on a Wing and Darien Shields for the Collation and Organisation of the 'Zine, and in PoaW's case, interviewing.
Brit Chris: For accepting the Fanfic Monthly Spotlight and participating in the interview.
TheBlueAvenger: For accepting the Fanfic Under-Appreciated Spotlight and participating in the interview.
Tainted: Writing And You
mistysakura: For the review on 'The Born Legacy'.
Presented by Pig on a Wing and Darien Shields
Seasons Greetings all! I have returned from my absence as you all probably know, to attend the E-zine once more. As is the usual, I must apologise for the 'zine being some three days (and two months) late. PoaW had all the stuff and it got to December first and I had to PM him, and he had to PM me... and I was asleep... and then my darn *life* got in the way (don't you just hate those things?) and here we are now. Well, no more time for excuses, we have a show to put on!
This 'hallowed' month we will be finally starting the long awaited contest, so get your pens and paper out- or if you actually want to stand a better chance of winning, opening up your word processor, and get ready! Entries can be submitted any time from now on, but the judging will be first come-first served, and the cut off is new-year's (Although I'd rather we finish before then, but I don't want to hem you in to too short a time.) Look on for the details of the contest.
Oh, and may I just formally and once more state my great appreciation for Pig on a Wing (aka Snorlax 19, as I knew him best) who was undertaking the project just as I returned, and most of this month's collation and co-ordination was done by him. As long as it suits him, I would like it if he could manage the mid-month E-zine, so we have two a month, without the bother of having them managed by one lazy soul (err, the lazy soul would've been me.)
Contents
Contest: Chain Fic Starting Competition
Fanfic Monthly Spotlight: 'Lucky Charms' by Brit Chris
_ Reviewer: N/A
_ Interviewer: Pig On The Wing
Fanfic Under-Appreciated Spotlight: 'The Born Legacy' by TheBlueAvenger
_ Reviewer: mistysakura
_ Interviewer: Pig On The Wing
Column by Tainted: 'Writing And You'
Preview: 'War On Terror' by Pig On The Wing
Credits
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Contest: The Contest to end all Contests!
No one can accuse me of not being melodramatic ^_^ Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty of it, let me explain the long running ramifications of the contest. The contest is to find the writers for running Chain Fic that will accompany the E-zine. Every month (or every half month, if the authors are up to it) a chapter will be written and posted along with the Zine. Now, I believe we're after six writers (judges- stop me if I'm wrong) for this, and here's the general idea. Rather than running a contest every month for the next entry (IMO that's a waste of everyone's time, as a lot of people write a lot of un-entered chapters), we will run this, one contest, and the top six winners shall become the six writers. Whoever came first, their submission will be used. Whoever came second will write the second chapter, and whoever came third shall write the third, etc. There will be chances for other people to write later on, but at present it is best just to think of this and this system. So, once more to clarify if you want to write in the Chain Fic At-All, you must enter this competition. And without further ado, the details;
The fic must be a pokemon fic. I'm sorry, for those of you who do not like pokemon, but it is after all a pokemon board, and if we didn't have this common specification, then we would all have widely varied ideas that would be hard to compare. Secondly it is a trainer fic of sorts, once more I apologise to those who do not like writing or reading this sort of thing, but most of “the greats” were trainer fics, and we follow in that grand tradition, hoping that ours will be a great too. Once more I ask my judges, please correct me if I am mistaken, it has been many a month since I had to utter these words or come to these final conclusions, and I may have warped proposals and conclusions into the one, but hoping that I am correct, here we go;
The “Twist” which the fic must have, and I mean must- this is essential to competition entries, is that the main character, a pokemon trainer (not to put ideas into peoples heads, but lets stick with human? Or at least quite close to human?) is bound by some way to a Dark Pokemon. Dark referring not to type (although dark types would be a good idea), but to nature- the pokemon is evil, their bond is mental, the stronger it is the more their thoughts become one. It must be stressed that this isn't exactly the same as telepathy, after all it is most likely a dark pokemon, which would be immune, telepathy is hearing one another's thoughts. The trainer's and the pokemon's are literally becoming one. How the bond came about is up to you, as is the pokemon (Fakemon are most definitely allowed, and I strongly encourage entrants to try their hand at making one.) The trainer's objective is to cure himself of this terrible affliction, by winning the pokemon league- the prize to which is coincidentally his cure. I suppose he could seek it otherwise, but that's a good place to start, especially if it's a trainer fic!
And in case there is any confusion, judges may enter.
On your marks... get set... Write!
EDIT: Registration and Submition
Those planning to enter should Register by replying to this topic and stating their intentions. When you've completed your entry submit it via e-mail. Entries have a minimum of 5000 words and a maximum of 15000. Marks will be deducted for word counts outside those limits.
Registration deadline is the 25th of December, Submition Deadline is lets say 10th of January. Late Submitions will be marked down, and I don't know about late registrations... if you have a good excuse okay, if you don't you're not allowed to enter.
At the time of this edit Mr. Pikachu and myself have registerred.
EDIT: EDIT:
Sorry! My memory is terrible, I totally forgot about this... since I didn't state it before I'll make it more of a strong guideline than a set-in-stone rule, although it is preferable to have this included. The bond or mergeance between the main character and the pokemon Strengthens WHEN EITHER FEELS PAIN. Got that? Sorry for my forgetfulness.
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Fanfic Monthly Spotlight: 'Lucky Charms' by Brit Chris
Review: N/A
Interview:
Q1: Your previous fic, Monica's Revolution is almost a Pokemon/Fantasy crossover. How do you think this has affected Lucky Charms?
-Hmm, well there are very little Pokemon aspects in Monica's Revolution, so really, after having not focused on trainer fics for some time, the elements that make a trainer fic have been more emphasised, I guess.
Q2: So far, has Lucky Charms or Monica's Revolution been easier to write?
I think Lucky Charms, because Trainer Fics in themselves are easy to write (I can often write pages at a time,) but with MR, in which the battles were longer, had much more emotion to them and a lot more feel, they were sometimes hard to get into the right frame of mind for. As a result, some work was slow. Plot developments, as well as the plot twists it's renowned for, were really hard to do, and even during school Id jot down ways to get around a situation. Now, for the next Fantasy Fic, the entire story will be mapped out first.
Q3: What made you step away from writing fantasy and going to all out Pokemon?
-To be honest, I've written Trainer a lot more - it helped me find my footing. After playing RPG's and Fantasy Questy games, I felt a really strong urge to write one, and Monica, who appeared in an old fanfic 'The Indigo Road', soon appeared as the main star. I like to alternate it, so my writing in Pokemon is never outdone by my writing in Fantasy.
Q4: People have commented in their replies about crude scenes in your fic, but they continue reading. What do you think the reason for complaining and then reading anyway is?
-I think, really, there's a lot of innocence to be had in Trainer Fics. I also think an aspect is that its so unexpected, especially as Rikki is only 13 (another difficulty I found in writing the fic). I found them to be rather humerous, myself, but maybe I'm just weird.
-I also feel perhaps theyre not too strong to drive people away from the fic.
Q5: You put a competition into your fic, do you this has in any way affected its popularity?
-I had hoped it would, but inevitably, it hasn't. *shrug*
Q6: Your fic started off with lots of readers and replies, yet now you don't get so many replies. Do you think that readership has gone down, or people are reading and just not relpying?
-I think people do read it - the post count shoots up all the time. Perhaps people don't feel obliged to reply. I'm really not sure.
Q7: You reply to your readers replies. How do you think this affects readers?
-I always do, because it helps show I don't ignore them. I've made some good TPM friends through fanfics, and it develops a bond between us, really.
Q8: What're your plans once Monica's Revolution and Lucky Charms is finished?
-Monica's Revolution is steadily drawing to a close. I planned to launch Lucky Charms directly after MR, but got excited and posted it during MR. After Lucky Charms, once everybody is sick of Pokemon, there are *plans* for a Third in the Monica series, but that is all dependant on the events in Chapter 37, and how Book II ends...
Q9: Monica's Revolution is drawing to a close. How would you say this has affected the popularity of Lucky Charms, if at all?
-I think, after MR, some MR readers may check Lucky Charms out. I can hope, anyway. I found that when Lucky Charms was up (Did I mention its a 3rd try remake?) against another TRAINER fic, From Rookie To Champion, everyone was already engrossed in FRTC and had no time for LC.
Q10: Finally, is there anything you'd like to say to your readers?
-RAR: Read And Reply. Support is always welcome, guys, and I'd like to involve you all as much as I can, so get in touch!
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Fanfic Under-Appreciated Spotlight: 'The Born Legacy' by TheBlueAvenger
Review:
-Plot (13/20 points): So far, pretty straightforward. A boy racing in his first Grand Prix, will he succeed, etc. A few plot twists (these are discussed in Plot Originality). The plot is not particularly captivating or interesting, because it is so typical, but it has potential. The mysterious Deathborn, for instance, opens up new pathways and plot twists, because there are so many possibilities as to why he attacked Terry and what he wants, and it can be used to create suspense and keep readers interested. So, I think that the plot of this fic has potential, but it is yet to be developed (and that’s through no fault of the author, since the fic has only six chapters so far).
-Plot Originality (7/10 points): Well, this is the first F-Zero fanfic I’ve ever read, so I wouldn’t have a clue how many other people have used this concept. But to me, it seems fairly original; there’s the standard racing in the Grand Prix plot, but there are twists like Terry running away from Einstein Academy to race, and the races aren’t always predictable wins. I would like to see the original ideas developed on, though; for instance, the thing with Terry leaving the Einstein Academy, that could be developed more and could make the entire plot more original, for example if the academy is constantly trying to drag him back or something (I know they give him some freedom, but leaving school to join the Grand Prix might be going a bit far).
-Writing Style (12/20 points): Not bad. You create atmosphere quite well; the tension and Terry’s concentration in the races is shown clearly by his thoughts, for example. The little bits of humor, like the jokes about Cheatum and the swearing filter (love that bit) also liven up the fic a bit.
There is enough detail for us to be able to visualize everything in our minds, especially in the racing, which made it enjoyable. It is a bit heavy though, like there would be this huge chunk of description and not much action. While detail is good, too much of it can disrupt the flow of the fic, and frustrate the readers. Take where you described all the contestants in Terry’s first race, for instance. It introduces us to all the racers, yes, but it takes the focus off Terry. That in itself really isn’t that bad, except readers will be thinking “get to the race already”, but the other thing that happens is that people will begin to get bored because they are reading all this seemingly irrelevant and unnecessary description, and in such large quantities too. It is often a good idea to use description in varying quantities, using more when you want to draw attention to something, and less for less important things. Putting description in small chunks, and inserting them between interesting action, also keeps readers more interested.
The dialogue is alright, it does what it’s supposed to do, but sometimes it can sound a bit forced. For example, when Daigoroh says “I was having fun berating him!”, it sounds strange because “berating” isn’t a word you’d generally use in conversation. When it’s, say, the announcer who says something like that, it’s fine because he’s speaking to the public and jazzing up his sentences, but in normal conversation it’s a bit out of place. It’s good to read speech aloud, and put yourself in the character’s place, to decide whether the speech fits the person and the situation.
-Spelling and Grammar (10/10 points): Can’t see any mistakes (certain grammarians may find some though ), and it can’t get any better than that.
-Characters (11/15 points): You’ve given your characters a good bit of personality. Because of all the detail that is provided, even the minor characters stand out (take Don Genie, for instance). The mysterious attacker is also done well, because we can see his ruthlessness and there is a sense of mystery to him. There were a couple of things that were a bit annoying, the first being the sheer number of characters, especially recurring minor characters. They can be a bit hard to keep track of, especially when introduced in a short period of time. The second thing is that the characters don’t seem to have much depth. Take Daigoroh, for instance. He seems to be an average spoilt, bratty kid, and that’s the only thing we’ve seen about him. People aren’t simple and one-sided like that, and it would be great if your characters were developed more; like talk about other qualities a person has besides the main, obvious one, and why a character acts a certain way, etc. I can see that starting to happen (like with Daigoroh saying that losing isn’t everything), and that’s great.
-Settings (11/15 points): While not mentioned much, when they are mentioned, the settings are described adequately. I like the distinctions between different cities, such as Mute City being old and a bit dilapidated compared to the modern Aeropolis. Unlike other things in this fic, the detail here does not go overboard, but just gives us a taste of what the place is like. Your description of racetracks in the introduction of the Grand Prix sounded fascinating, so it was a bit disappointing to find that in the actual races, no attention is paid to them at all. It would be nice to see the differences between all the race tracks; but I suppose it’s because the first one is a typical racetrack, so you didn’t describe it. Just make the unique ones special.
-Overall Appreciation (6.5/10 points): This fic has potential; it’s just that it hasn’t had time to develop all its ideas properly. Yet, a good beginning is what draws readers in and makes them interested enough to keep reading, so it can’t totally be blamed on that. And the over-description can get in the way sometimes. But really, there’s good stuff in there, so if you keep writing this will turn out to be quite an interesting fic.
Final Result 70.5/100 = 70.5%.
Closing advice: The biggest problem here is the over-description; work your way around that somehow, and ths fic will improve. There are aother problems like depth of character and stuff, but these are fairly minor compared with those of writing style, because if people can’t make it through a chapter, it won’t matter how good your characters and settings are. Plot should develop itself as the fic goes on. And well, this is a Pokémon forum. In order to get readers here, you’ll have to make your fic pretty good. So don’t get discouraged if you only get a couple of readers. Just keep writing.
Interview:
Q1: Your fic is an F-Zero fic, do you think this has in anyway affected its popularity?
-Your fic is an F-Zero fic, do you think this has in anyway affected its popularity?
Q2: In your fic, you insert funny scenes into the chapter. What effect do you think this has on readers?
-F-Zero is mostly a serious game - bounty hunters, universal cosmic evils, and the like - but as a rule I try not to make things too serious. Even if I try a somber scene, it comes off as light-hearted. As for the readers, well... I hope that they find it funny, but if they don't, that's why my story is not humor overall.
Q3: Your fic seems to have quite low readership. Do you think there is any particular reason(s) for this?
-My best guess is that F-Zero isn't exactly a hot topic on a Pokemon board.
Q4: You offered the chance for readers to submit themselves as characters in your fic. How do you think this has affected your fic in general?
-It has not affected it very much, as only one person has submitted, but hey, if more people submit, then it could have the potential to affect the story very much. I can be very flexible in my writing, though, so I can fit people in.
Q5: You introduce each character with a little paragraph based on their description. Do you think this has a positive or a negative impact on your readers?
-I quite honestly do not know - I feel, however, that if the audience can get a feel for a character, however tedious (like in the 'first race' chapter), then they might be able to connect with them better.
Q6: Do you think you have an idea as to why you have such low readership?
-Heh, this is the same as Q3.
Q7: Even though you have a seemingly low readership, you continue to update. What makes you carry on?
-I like to write. When I have spare time, I like to sit down and work on a chapter or two. I know that there are some authors that devote more of their life to writing than I do, and I think that if I did do that, I wouldn't like writing as much. It is a way to unwind, for me.
Q8: Finally, what've you got to say to your readers?
-Thank you very much for taking time to read my fic.
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'Writing And You' - Tainted
Writing and You
Brought to you by our friendly neighborhood Zak Hunter
I swear to God, I just screamed, “Help me!” at the top of my lungs, so loud, that the walls caved in around me in quite an astounding feat. So astounding, in fact, that America declared war on the former Soviet Russia, as they thought Russia had sent a nuke to the states and missed.
Well, all right—since I love you guys so much, I’ll come clean with you. I lied. I’m not a lying man, I don’t lie much, but I figured it’d give you an idea of how frustrated I am right now about writing in general.
All right, to get this kick-started, this article and the following articles will contain my day-to-day frustrations, or ascents with writing. In all reality, it’s a journal about writing, and a journal that I am willing to share with all of you as I feel my frustrations as a writer are spread amongst the population of this forum.
Here’s the first one that I haven’t seen spread amongst too many writers, but that I know I have a fond sarcastic admiration for. It’s a little thing scientists like to call, and I quote, “having too many ****ing ideas at one time.” Quite the scientific name, I might add, I had to read it a couple of times before I decided to look up each little word in the dictionary to decipher the message.
I have the disease. I have caught the dreaded “Too Many ****ing Ideas At One Time” (TMFIAOT) syndrome, and you may have too. Symptoms of said disease may include:
-The wanting to write tons of stories at once, without taking into consideration how much skill and time set aside it will take to, first of all, not get the stories confused—and, second of all, to not just stop writing under stress.
-The lucid, almost crazed madness that happens to a writer when he deletes all of his old stories off of Microsoft Word in hopes of pursuing the newest idea.
Now, let’s talk about a cure. Much like herpes and a few other sexually transmitted diseases—there is no cure, only prevention. So, all that I can suggest is to talk about your upcoming idea with another writer, or a reader—and maybe you’ll decide that this idea is not quite what it’s cracked up to be, or maybe it’ll be the complete opposite. That said, finding someone to talk to about said ideas might be hard—but if you’re in doubt, you can always contact me via PM (The username is ‘Tainted’ without quotations) and we can discuss your idea. Why did I not mention the ‘Official Fic Idea Topic?’ I didn’t mention that topic because I don’t think it works very well. Sure, writers get to throw down all what they have planned—but there is very little to nothing feedback wise. And feedback is, in my opinion, the most essential part of starting a new story.
So, take that advice and wear a condom and you should be able to prevent most severe cases of TMFIAOT syndrome, oh, and some sexually transmitted diseases too. Minor side affects may include: verbal diarrhea (from all the talking about the new idea).
That’s it. I’m done. Did you like it? No? Too ****ing bad, because I’m going to keep writing these.
Adieu,
Zak Hunter
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Preview: 'War On Terror' by Pig On The Wing
Yes, I've stolen the Preview. Mwa ha ha. This is something I began writing after the 2004 elections, and if the title doesn't give away what this is about, then the story clearly isn't for you. Enjoy.
War On Terror
Chapter 1
The room was massive. There was an intricately carved oak door on the wall. Opposite this wall was a massive window that covered the entire distance of the wall, the pane split into smaller squares by thin beams of white wood. Along both walls at the side of the office, two massive bookshelves stood against each wall, totalling four bookshelves in all, all of them brimming with books. Next to the book shelves on the left side of the wall was a large water cooler, and next to that was a bin. On the floor next to the bookshelves on the opposite side of the room was a large paper shredder. In front of the window was a large desk. A wedge of wood, with a gold placard with the occupant of the room’s name, a small golden falcon figure, and numerous bits of paper, all stacked into several small stacks. There was a black phone in the centre.
On either side of the door leading in and out of the room, stood two tall, white men. Both men wore suits, had perfectly polished black shoes, sunglasses and an earpiece in one of their ears.
The desk had two chairs on either side of it. One chair was occupied by a small, fat black man. He wore a beige suit, and also had sunglasses and polished shoes. He had a beige hat on that matched his suit.
The other chair was empty. The man who probably usually occupied it was standing by the window staring out onto the green courtyards below him, the many police patrols going around the building, the American flag flying high and proud on its golden flag pole. The man sighed slowly and turned round.
His hair was grey, his eyes a lifeless brown. He too wore a suit, had polished black shoes, but unlike the others he was not wearing any glasses. His face on the whole resembled that of a chimpanzee.
"I don’t want this," George Bush sighed as he faced the fat man in the chair. The man smiled and chuckled a wheezy laugh, flashing his yellowy teeth in the process.
"I’m afraid you don’t have much choice," he said. He reached into the inner pocket of his blazer and two clicks were heard as the two men by the door whipped out a revolver each, and loaded them in a flash. The man spun round on the swivel chair.
"No need for dat now, is dere boys?" he said, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, producing a lighter from another of his pockets and sparking it up, before putting the lighter away. He took a deep puff and the smoke circled around him.
"Well Mr. President?" he said slowly. Bush’s face crinkled up as he thought hard about it.
"I don’t know. The war in Iraq’s risky enough as it is, to go after the Russians as well… it’ll only make things worse," he said after a while. The black man took a few more puffs of his cigar, before he said his next words.
"It’s war. And it’s contributing to the war on terrorism. Russian extremists are no different to Iraqi extremists, Muslim extremists and so on and so forth."
Bush sighed and faced the window again. "You’ve won me," he said, "Yes, go ahead with it."
"Pleasure doin’ business wid ya," the man smiled, and shifted out of the chair, turning and allowing one of the bodyguards to escort him out of the building.
"Are you sure you made the right decision?" the remaining bodyguard asked after the door had been shut.
"No," Bush replied. He sat down on the chair that had been empty the whole time and picked up the receiver of the phone. He waited a few seconds before putting it down again.
"What?" the bodyguard asked.
"No, nothing," Bush said, staring absent mindedly at the phone. "Tony doesn’t need to know."
~
An explosion caused a carpet of dust of sand to billow up, obscuring most of the troops. The seventeen troops spread out in a wide position, as far away from each other as possible, as long as they could each see one other member, and all began to fire their AK-47’s relentlessly, pausing only briefly to reload.
"We’ll get some this time!" one screamed down the microphone around his neck.
The gunfire was soon returned though; bullets shot out of the dust into Fallujah, and bullets shot out of Fallujah into the dust and sand. More sand and dust was thrown up as the bullets peppered the ground, but miraculously the troops remained unharmed.
The seventeen were clad in black combat gear, with black helmets, which contained clear visors, an earphone and a microphone. They were all armed with AK-47’s and plenty of ammo as well as five grenades each. They were the Elite Unit, only used in the most difficult of circumstances were absolutely necessary.
Underneath their black combat gear, they wore thick bullet proof vests, and strapped round their waists was a first aid kit, containing the bare essentials.
Since Saddam was knocked from power, the American troops and Iraqi rebels had battled it out over Fallujah, the Iraqi’s managing to hold their own ground every time. So the Elite Unit had been sent in to finish the job.
The Elite Unit consisted of more than just the 17 men currently there. 50 of them were inside Fallujah, working under cover, bringing the rebels down from the inside, anyway possible. And back at the US camps, at least 20 hackers worked hard to break into Iraqi police computers, trying to find strategic places to be, and where the rebels were attacking, or possibly planning on attacking.
"You know there are still about 500 rebels still in there?" shouted one of the Elite’s through his radio.
"Yeah," another shouted back, "But getting it from 1500 down to 500 in three days ain’t exactly bad, is it?"
"Hit the decks!" a voice screamed frantically, and the silhouettes of 17 people diving to the ground could just be seen through the mass screening of sand and dust.
A few seconds later, a rocket shot out of Fallujah, and powered its way through where some of the troops had been. It carried on going till it was out of sight, but the explosion was heard; it had hit an American tank.
The Elite Unit had been sent forth to try and take out as many rebels as possible and clear out as much of Fallujah. Most of rebels had been killed by inside-men and now only a few remained, and although heavily outnumbered and outgunned, the Elite’s were fully capable of clearing Fallujah out completely. Not far behind the Elite’s was the bulk of American force into Fallujah.
Silence followed. The sand and dust settled, revealing seven black clothed Americans lying in the dirt, covered in sand.
One inched slowly forward. He moved so slowly it looked as though he wasn’t moving at all, but he inched closer and closer to boundaries of Fallujah, were buildings stood, most only remains of buildings, all the rest severely damaged.
"What’re you doing?" hissed one of Elite through his radio.
"I’ve seen some," the man creeping forward whispered back, without moving his lips. He eventually was only a tiny distance from the buildings. He rolled forward, leapt onto his feet and sprinted forward, diving, rolling, and eventually coming to a kneeling position with his back against a building. Machine gun fire peppered the ground, following him, until he couldn’t be reached.
The man pulled a grenade from one of his many uniform pockets, and pulled the pin out with his teeth. Without hesitating, he ran out from where he was and spun round, hurling the grenade with perfect accuracy through the space where a window once was on the building he’d been leaning against, about the third floor up, on the right.
The man was instantly gunned down by machine guns, but a few seconds later his grenade exploded. The whole room it had been in was obscured briefly by a massive orange flame, and then by smoke that drifted out of the window. The 16 remaining members of the Elite Unit took a moment to mourn the loss of one of their men, before leaping up and sprinting back to join the bulk of the American forces.
~
"There’s not much left to do is there?" Tony Blair said to John Prescott. The fat man raised his sluggish head and stared at Blair.
"So we’re pulling out?" he said, his dull face almost smiling. Almost.
"Oh heavens no," Blair said, and the slight facial expression on Prescott’s face disappeared. "We’re pouring everything we’ve got into it. Forget the health budget, the education; the police forces… forget them all. We’re going in, all out."
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Credits
Pig on a Wing and Darien Shields for the Collation and Organisation of the 'Zine, and in PoaW's case, interviewing.
Brit Chris: For accepting the Fanfic Monthly Spotlight and participating in the interview.
TheBlueAvenger: For accepting the Fanfic Under-Appreciated Spotlight and participating in the interview.
Tainted: Writing And You
mistysakura: For the review on 'The Born Legacy'.