The Pain of Rejection

[Chieng Vui Leng]

There is a long story behind this.

Last month, I put in an application for Arrow on Swanston (a student accomodation in Melbourne) for next year, and I was told my potential roommate had moved in already. I later found out that he is in the Extended program of Trinity College (Foundation Year, one year Pre-University course for International students), which just began in November, and leads into the main program which begins in February. (I just completed the Foundation Year early this month and I am going on to University next year.) I went to meet him and get to know him better. I always went to look for him at lunch break. He was quite friendly when I met him - we even exchanged MSN addresses.

A week ago, the person-in-charge at Arrow sent me an email saying that I had been shifted to another room - someone else had moved in and room allocations are made based on availability. I was a little upset at this, but since I had already got to know the person, I looked at it from a positive perspective: I would be getting not one, but two new friends. How very wrong I was.

On MSN, he always puts the busy status. I tried chatting with him the other day but he refused to respond. I gave up. I was afraid he would delete me from his contact list but he did not. Until today. What happened was that I received my results last week and I wanted to tell him the good news as a friend would. However, not only did he not respond, he deleted me. I was devastated.

I emailed one of my teachers and asked him to help me to mediate, the above was adapted from the email. Hopefully he will help me mediate.

I also sent him an email:

Dear Mark

This is Leng here. I do not know why you deleted me from your MSN, but I am very upset at this. Perhaps I've been bothering you too much? I understand that you are busy, but I only wanted to get to know you better. I received my results last Friday, and I qualify to enter the course of my choice in RMIT. I have been trying to tell you the good news - as a friend would - but it seems that you perceived it as a disturbance. I am very sorry if I have offended you in any way. If there was anything you considered disturbing, please note that it wasn't intentional. Please accept my sincerest apologies, and I assure you that it will not happen again. Please give me another chance, and re-add me on your MSN.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope to see you again when I come back to Australia next year.

Chieng Vui Leng


I don't know when he will read this, or even if he will. In the meantime, the anguish remains. Just when I think things are beginning to work out, they go horribly wrong. Mark is a really nice guy, I just don't know what's happening.

Will I always be rejected all my life? *cries* Fate is cruel. Life is not worth living.

*slits wrist*

[Roarkiller]

For some reason you look damn familiar. My name's Elias, have we met?

IMO you're making a mountain out of a molehill. And I'm also wondering why you didn't attempt to talk to him face to face. I mean we all know the benefits of online chatting, but some things are better off talked about face to face.

Unless you simply failed to mention, of which then I'm sorry.

[Chieng Vui Leng]

I spoke to him face-to-face many times - I always used to look for him at lunch break. But now I'm back in Malaysia for the holiday, so I can't meet him face-to-face till next year.

A bit of background info, for those who don't get it:

I did the Foundation Year this year, began in February and ended in early December, now I'm home for the holiday till February next year when I go on to University.

Mark began at Trinity in November this year, doing an extended program (his English is not very good and extended programs are actually intensive English courses) which leads into the main Foundation Year program in February next year.

And I'm sorry Elias, but I don't think we've met.

[homeofmew]

well don't be too upset some people are like that you know
they dont want to be annoyed and they delete people for no reason.

[Chieng Vui Leng]

I wasn't trying to annoy him.... I guess it was just a misunderstanding....

[Magmar]

Yeah, it's not worth pulling your hair out over, my friend. You get along well with your other roommate. Things wil lbe fine.

[Heald]

TBPH, I'm usually the deleter, not the deletee, due to the fact I'm so popular that I average 5 new friend requests on MSN everyday, but MSN Messenger only has a limit of 200 or so, so I have to pick and choose the friends I want. Most of the time it is people I've met in a club or bar that I've drunkenly given my address to, people reading my websites, other people's websites where I have submitted to and blogs or just girls who I've messed about with at parties. I usually give priority to my real friends and perhaps a few floozies on the side.

Either way, I've never been in this position, so I'm of no use. Maybe you could just take a hint and perhaps he doesn't want to hang with you?

[PancaKe]

dont slit your wrists over that.
just write deep and meaningful poetry about it instead.
and hey, your from melbourne! i'm from sydney (which is so mcuh better anyway :P)
how are ya?

[Chieng Vui Leng]

dont slit your wrists over that.


I translate pain of rejection into real pain to divert my attention.



just write deep and meaningful poetry about it instead.


Though I passed my Literature exam with 80%, I suck at poetry. But I'll give it a shot.



and hey, your from melbourne! i'm from sydney (which is so mcuh better anyway :P)


Nah, I'm from Malaysia. I studied in Singapore for 10 years before going on to pursue my Foundation Year and University in Melbourne. Currently I'm on holiday.



how are ya?


Depressed, suicidal, can't be bothered, etc, etc.

Sighz.

[Dark-San]

[b][size=3] I will ignore the message too if I was him. Just kidding...

Anywayz a better idea would be to meet up with these guys and sort things out. Better than doing it through online.


I was devastated.


[color=chocolate][b][size=3]I don't think the word desvasted should be used in such an extent in this situation. Disappointed would be a better opinion.

[Magmar]

You're taking this way too hard. Don't dwell on it. Life will go on. I got in a huge fight with my roommate over him finding a used and filled condom in his bed, that sincerely wasn't mine (i have my own bed, and he was drunk in there the night before! and had girls over) and I think he still thinks it was my condom. Idiot.

[phaedrus]

It's really only a slight setback. This gives you the chance to get to know more people. Every event really just continues us down a path, and you might as well make the most of it, while you're still on it.

[Snowbunny]

Perhaps you were deleted because you're too obsessed?

[shazza]

You're simply worrying too much about such a small thing. I don't know why he would have deleted you as you seem like a nice and friendly person, but the most logical reason was that you seem to be coming on too strong, and he was put off.

It's best to deal with things in real life. When you head back to Melbourne just chat to him about it, and if he still acts like an asshole then he isn't even worth it.

Good luck, mate.