Some *VERY* Good Questions! (PG; Mild Language and a Couple of Uncouth Entries)

[Starry Might]

I was on the 'Net yesterday trying to track down help for a problem I had with "SimCity 3000 Unlimited" (my monitor went into Sleep Mode when I opened the Power Plant window and I couldn't get it to wake up!).

I went to SC3000.COM and checked out the Tech Support (or whatever) part of their Forums. Somebody asked what programs should NEVER be shut down while running the game, but it wound up going off topic.

One person posted a bunch of funny (and thought-provoking!) questions, which I'm going to share with you now. Enjoy! :D


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think ,"that ought to taste good"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window
(Original Topic. (http://www.sc3000.com/forums/messages.cfm?mid=555626&startRowThread=1&groupcode=103))

[mr_pikachu]

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Taxes.


And good questions, by the way.

[Lady Vulpix]

Can you cry under water? Yes, but not for a long time.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? I thought they were synonyms.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? No, only your body does.

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Because you ignore all other candidates. No idea why you do that, but it's your choice.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. To give you time to assimilate the idea. :P

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Another.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? You wouldn't believe the things some people will eat.

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? No, but would you like to carry a picture of yourself looking like you would if the police stopped you?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? My brother once did.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! One is a pet and the other's an anthro.

What do you call male ballerinas? Male ballet dancers.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? Yes, they do dream, and as far as I know they can see their dreams too, though I wonder what people who were born blind see.

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because they don't serve roadrunners in restaurants.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? No, but it's a funny thought.

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? No.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes.

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? Yes, but the wind doesn't blow directly into his nose, and it doesn't have your breath in it either.

[Arnen]

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Actually, that setting's for bagels and stuff.

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Probably.

[Magmar]

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Taxes.


And good questions, by the way.


Took the words right out of my mouth!

[Zak]

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
I have a light in the freezer.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
The same reason you are IN a TV show and ON the big screen. One's the program and one's the device.

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Miss America doesn't have a responsibility and even the person with the lowest IQ can be her.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
I always use the maximum setting for any sort of bread. Burned toast is amazing with the right stuff. I guess I'm one of those people.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
It doesn't always.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
No one wears anything in heaven anyway :P

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Enough so that when you mention them in a room full of 100 random people you can be confident that at least five people will know who you're talking about.

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Most likely.


~Zak

[Little_Pikachu]

Those are pretty funny, I know they're just for fun but I must pick fault and be realistic.

"Why does a round pizza come in a square box?"
I'm guessing that's for ease of construction, ever tried setting up a cardboard box? They're much easier to put up if they're a standard square type shape.

"Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?"
I would guess that since Pluto is a pet dog he's some kind of primitive version of dog where as Goofy is a sort of evolved being. Pluto is less intelligent and unable to stand up correctly, kind of like chimps to humans, they don't walk around too well on 2 legs either.

"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!""
This one always really bugs me, mainly because of the immature and perverted context in which people usually ask it. My theory would be that the person who discovered it knew that baby humans drank milk produced by the mother and asumed that animals would have a similar set up. He noticed calves suckling at the cows udder and assumed that was where it came from, if milk was that good for babies then it shouldn't do any harm to adults, so he decided to try to harvest it. I'm sure he didn't get it right first time, but through trial and error he worked out the best way to get the milk out.

[mr_pikachu]

"Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?"
I would guess that since Pluto is a pet dog he's some kind of primitive version of dog where as Goofy is a sort of evolved being. Pluto is less intelligent and unable to stand up correctly, kind of like chimps to humans, they don't walk around too well on 2 legs either.

Is Goofy more intelligent than Pluto? I'm not so sure...

[Gavin Luper]

"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!""
This one always really bugs me, mainly because of the immature and perverted context in which people usually ask it. My theory would be that the person who discovered it knew that baby humans drank milk produced by the mother and asumed that animals would have a similar set up. He noticed calves suckling at the cows udder and assumed that was where it came from, if milk was that good for babies then it shouldn't do any harm to adults, so he decided to try to harvest it. I'm sure he didn't get it right first time, but through trial and error he worked out the best way to get the milk out.


This one always annoys me too, LP. Thank God you said it before I did. :D

Otherwise, most of these are good/funny questions. Whee!

[Deus Mortuorum]

Can you cry under water?
Sure, why not?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Assassinated is a term for when it happens to a political figure.

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
The same reason libraries and post offices do.

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Rolls are round.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Taxes

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Of course not, it's heaven.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Probably because of structural stability and ease of retrieving the pizza from the box. Plus, like someone said, it's just easier to fold carboard into a square.

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Sigh.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
It was probably before people needed to take multiple pieces of heavy luggage.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because "I slept like an adult" makes even less sense.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes, because the deaf person isn't the one who has to hear stuff.

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Good luck getting Pepsi in the Coke factory.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because movies are in theaters, but televisions shows are described as being "on?" I dunno.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
The view and the perspective. They also look at the surrounding areas.

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Because there are two major political parties and fifty states. Besides, choosing from 50 candidates would be a hella difficult choice.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Not necessarily, and there's just an inherent awkwardness in actually removing your clothes in front of someone.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Another one.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Panties is plural because they're just much shorter pants. Technically pants are one object as well, but a pant is an individual leg covering.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Probably used logic from seeing calves drink from them.

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think ,"that ought to taste good"
I have no idea about this one. Probably experimentation---saw that sometimes they result in other chickens and sometimes they don't.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
For other foods that don't burn like that.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
I have a light in my freezer.

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Your license is used for things besides traffic stops. And why not smile, it's not a mugshot.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Is it really a song, or just that one line?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Probably not, unless family members are also present.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
With what?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
It would probably offend people.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
This one's been explained.

What do you call male ballerinas?
Ballet dancer.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
They dream, and can see them if they weren't born blind.

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
It's the principle of the matter.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Motor oil isn't made from its namesake, either.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No, that's just illogical.

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Don't forget Disneyland and Euro Disney.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yup.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Aster - derived from astra, or star. Hence, "shooting star." Hemo- means "blood." It's not like it's spelled "asterrhoid," anyway.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Not exactly the same thing.

[Starry Might]

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Is it really a song, or just that one line?
I looked it up on Google, and it's actually the chorus/refrain of the song :smilie::

http://www.timmyabell.com/music/lyrics/fm/jimmy.htm


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
With what?
How about tree sap, like in the episode "Goodbye, Island" (from the first season)? :biggrin:

Unfortunately, the sap wore off after three days, and the Minnow fell apart. :eek: :lol:

EDIT: Oh, last night, I remembered something about that same episode: the Professor was trying to make nails to use to patch up the hole in the Minnow, but they never worked out. One time, they were too brittle, and another time, they were too soft and flexible.

[PancaKe]

^_^
theyre awesome.
i love the way people answer them too.
hahahahaha

well, sometimes people say that they put their 5 cents in, but thats just cuz in australia, theres no 1 or 2 cent coins.
lol

[fat man with a monkey]

The best question of all... why do people ask random, stupid questions and pretend they're insightful?

[Hatake Kakashi]

Can you cry under water?
Yes, I don't see why that'd stop you.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Assassination is an attempt on their life to prevent or end something. I.e prevent someone from testifying, or end their term as president.

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Because a branch isn't exclusive to a tree.

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Because pigs and cows aren't built square, and it's easier to stand bread up if the loaf is square.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
The extra penny is to insert your opinion. Penny for your thoughts is asking someone for their opinion.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
That wouldn't be a very pleasant heaven, so I doubt it.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Because again, squares are easier to assemble and stack, and circles are easier to add toppings to.

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Nothing, cured has a different meaning in that case.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
One is a scientific achievement, the other is a trivial matter.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because before they wake up babies sleep soundly.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes, because everyone else can hear.

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Probably for thinking you're some kind of smart ass.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Because the broadcast is rarely taped and shipped and aired seperately. One movie is not the same as the other, whereas just about everyone gets the same broadcast from the same channel.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because you're seeing it from a new angle.

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Those are the 2 "best" options for running our country, not representatives from every state.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Because changing in front of someone is more embarrassing than being nude in front of them.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Another 911 operator.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Because it's not a pair of bras.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
The same person who saw how similar it was to their own nipples and realized children drank milk like calves.

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think ,"that ought to taste good"
Desperate times call for desperate measures, most likely.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Because some things that go in the toaster need higher settings.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Because the light in the freezer would be subject to MUCH colder temperatures and more drastic temperature changes on a constant basis, and the glass would likely shatter.

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Because it's human nature to tell you to smile for a photo.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Because the song is about how he cracked corn and his masters not there to scold him for it.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
No.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because then the show would be over in one episode.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Because they want you to look at your wrist. They don't much care what you think of your crotch.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
Goofy is an anthropomorphic canine while Pluto is a regular canine.

They're both dogs!
Good eye.

What do you call male ballerinas?
Ballet Dancer.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
Yes they can and yes they do.

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Because he's a coyote and it's always mail-order for ACME. No ones letting a coyote into McDonalds.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
It's oil made for babies. Just like a hamburger isn't ham.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Actually morality comes from morals. There's no N in the word morality.

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Disney Land, EuroDisney...

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes.

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Asteroid - Hemisphere. Hemorrhoid - Asspain.
Simple enough.
(Also, rhoid and roid are two different words)

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window
When you blow in their face, you are blowing scent away from their nose and flooding it with your own. They KNOW your scent. In the car it floods their nose with NEW scents.

[Mega Horny]

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Hemorrhoid comes from the word Hemoglobin, or flood. I don't now about asteroid tho....

[Drago]

Pseudo-serious thoughts...

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
I thought y'all Americans had your paper money. Of course money grows on trees.

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Monopoly on smiley face-shaped meat.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
I'd wager eternal bliss has a couple stores to shop around at. Either way, what if someone digs up your corpse and changes your clothes? ...Uhh, yeah.

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Life.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
To beat the Russians, of course. It's not like the politburo was out to win the luggage race.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Better than a seeing.

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
If Britney Spears can drink Coke and be forgiven, I should be forgiven for doing the opposite. The company needs me, dammit.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
The particle 'a'. If you inserted 'a' into the latter, it would become in a television show in most cases. Still works as on, though.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Better view for perving. Come on, that's an easy one!

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
There are more hot Americans than smart ones. SWISH! :heh:

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Ghostbusters!

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Farmer thought the udder was getting too big for comfort, squeezed it for a while, needed a drink from all the hard work.

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think ,"that ought to taste good"
Other animals eat eggs. Why not us?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Not all human beings are decent.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
More people are likely to look for something in the fridge at night than the freezer, and those who need the freezer could easily use the fridge light as a substitute.

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
With enough liquor, yes.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Jimmy cares.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He's an inventor, not a damned repairman.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
I do!

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
—Is Goofy a human, or a dog? I once met Bill Farmer, who does the voice of Goofy, and he gave me the definitive answer: "Pluto is definitely a dog. Goofy is sort of the missing link between dog and man."
~ Ebert review of A Goofy Movie

What do you call male ballerinas?
Pansies.

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
He was in actual fact a registered customer with ACME. Obviously he paid for membership in one lump sum, with no money left to buy anything else. Though I prefer Hatake Kakashi's answer, simply for the phrase No ones letting a coyote into McDonalds.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Organic lavender, mandarin essential oils, apricot and grapeseed oil (soothes and hydrates sensitive skin, y'know.)

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yessum. I've been saying this for years.

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Aren't you listening to what I just said?

Meh, I only replied to cite something from an Ebert review.