<Game> Twisted Wishes v.3 (M.A. LV)

[+conspiracy+]

alrighty v.3

I wish pokemon were real... and safe.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But since they're safe, they can no longer breathe fire or blast water or toss beams of energy, so they've lost some of their natural appeal.

I wish that the PS3 would be released at a more reasonable price.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you still doesn't have the enough money to buy it.

I wish I had the power to read minds- without going crazy from the power.

[Chris Watarimono]

Granted! You mind combusts and explodes instead.

I wish real music actually played during ASB reffings. :ninja: :pirate:

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. It's sung by that Fred guy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. (It's bad enough that you die simply because you want it to end so badly.)

I wish that me killing people when I twist their wishes wasn't a running joke in this game.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but without your running joke, this game will get visited less and ignored.

I wish I had the largest Jigsaw Puzzle in the world.

[Blademaster]

Granted; you now own a jigsaw puzzle with nine pieces, each of which are 800 feet wide.

I wish everyone on Earth was 1 IQ point smarter.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But our newfound intelligence will make us arrogant, which will result in fighting, wars, and the end of all humanity. (You're dead too.)

I wish that iPods could have more memory installed.

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. Unfortunately, the extra memory costs $1,000, and the iPod will no longer run without it.

I wish I never ran out of pretzels.

[Fett One]

Granted but you end up becoming obese from eating all of those pretzels and die from a heart attack as a result

I wish Optimus Prime will kill Megatron

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but when he kills Megatron in a violent way that will upset conscious parents which will make sure that nobody watches Transformers again ... which means you will never see Optimus Prime kill Megatron.

I wish I could get a job.

[Weasel Overlord]

[color=silver]Granted; but when you get a job, it'll be crap, and you'll earn £2 an hour, which is less than ANYONE earns ever, and then you'll be poor, won't be able to afford to buy food, and you will die...

I wish I could see Radiohead again...

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. You're cordially invited to the funeral of Radiohead. Yes, the entire group. (You'll cry so much that you'll die from dehydration.)

I wish that the guy I was supposed to interview today wasn't in a bunch of administrative meetings...

[Fett One]

Granted but the interview goes badly and the guy has you fired

I wish I don't have to wear glasses

[Inferno_Dragon]

Unfortunately, thanks to a rare condition that you just contracted, your vision becomes worse and worse and without glasses, you can't see at all.

I wish I had the Bio-Booster Armor Guvyer Suit of my very own.

(For those who don't know, when contacted with this Alien Device, you become this Alien Soldier. Look it up if you still are clueless.)

[Chris Watarimono]

Granted! You become...whatever that thing is. XD However, the Alien Device is actually an illegal model, so it ends up being way too strong, and you consciousness ends up melding into the armor itself. You're now doomed to wander eternity in a Bio-Boosting Armor Guvyer Suit thinger for the rest of your life. =P

I wish Yoshi the dinosaur didn't sound like a Pokemon anymore. :ninja: :pirate:

[Blademaster]

Granted - Yoshi's tongue is pulled out, rendering him mute and essentially powerless; heartbroken, Mario has to have him put down...

I wish I knew what the Hell was happening at ASB... and wherever else at TPM is screwed up right now. :(

[Charles Legend]

Granted - you found out it wasa a hacker and they Showed you porn...

I wish that I had not looked at said porn...b it was gross...

~Charles Legend

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you will then 'hear' some sounds from the mentioned porn videos :D.

I wish the person who screwed TPM's ASB will pay!

[Hyperness is a Good Thing]

granted, he will pay, but so will you! >.> i dunno how though hehe

erm, I wish that my bitcomet downloads will hurry up and finish!

[Weasel Overlord]

[color=silver]Granted; they will finish, but when they do, they'll spread a deadly virus throughout your computer, as well as any in your area, causing them to explode simultaneously in one huge nuclear explosion.

I wish that I didn't have to share a room with someone strange at university...

[Fett One]

Granted you have to share a room with your mom during the entire year you are at the univeristy

I wish to have super speed

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you will never be able to stop so you will be running at super fast speeds for the rest of your life.

I wish I could have Yoshi as a pet.

[Charles Legend]

Granted, but he eats you and turns you in to an Egg... :p

I wish that I could think up better necknames for all my pokemon...

~Charles Legend

[Fett One]

Granted but all of the names are in Japanese so none of your friends can pronounce their names

I wish to have a pet monkey

[Charles Legend]

Granted-&#160; but he burns down your house with his fire poo... ;)

I wish I was a Scientist, and was working on a way to bring Pokemon to are world ;)

~Charles Legend

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, but later on they actually bring something into this world, Unfortunately, is not a pokemon,. just a killer virus that turns peoples inside to irresistable smelling green goop and this new new virus proceeds the decimate the world's populance.

I wish I could have the prefect tasting meal

[+conspiracy+]

Granted, only you crave it so much after its gone you kill yourself trying to get another one

I wish people wouldn't hack into accounts and spam all over the place

btw good job mods.. that was quick =)

[mr_pikachu]

(You're welcome, from all of us. As celebration, you won't die this time!)

Granted. But it wasn't going to happen again for awhile, anyway.

I wish that the incident had been shorter than it was.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but it's effect will be worse than what it was now.

I wish I could create another perfect clone of myself that will never disobey me.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but your perfect clone will create a clone of himself that will disobey you and mock you ... and trash the place. (Okay, I got a little out of hand there.)

I wish I could find my checks so I could spend money on the things I love.

[Fett One]

Granted but your checking account is empty so you get arrested for bouncing checks

I wish to have some ice cream

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, but the ice cream is of a flavour you despise, and it has been sitting in the sun for over a week. And... THERE ARE NO CONES!!! hehe :keke:

I wish that I could have longer days :)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but now school days and work days are longer so you will be bored out of your mind with homework and endless work assignments (if you go to school or you have a job.)

I wish I could have a gravity gun like the one in Half-Life 2.

[Fett One]

SoulflameNinetales, i don't like ice cream cones so you actually did me a favor :D

Granted, but the gun malfunctions and causes you to weigh so much that you can't do anything but lay on the ground

I wish to own the millenium falcon

[SoulflameNinetales]

Hehe i didn't know that :) ah well...

Granted, but then the US government come, take it off you before you can get away in it, take it back to Aera 51 to reverse engineer it and during the reverse engineering process they break something vital and decide to melt down the remains of the now useless ship.

I wish I owned a entire country

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but that country is bombarded with nuclear weapons from rival countries wiping both you and your country out.

I wish that the events of Code Named Kids Next Door: Operation Z.E.R.O never happened.

[Fett One]

Granted, as a result of not making this episode the network decided to just cancel the show

I wish to own the entire original teenage mutant ninja turtles cartoon on dvd

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but it was just some bootleg DVD, so some episode were missing.

I wish I could fly an airplane.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but you don't know how to land it well and you strand yourself on a deserted island with few amounts of food and water.

I wish I could be on Survivor and make it to the final round.

[Blademaster]

Granted - you spend several grueling weeks making it to the final round, and then you lose.

I wish two more people would join my RPG.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, however the new people are so bad at role play, everybody else leaves and you have to shut it down.

I wish I could talk to the animals

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but the moment a person sees you talking to the animals, they will think you are insane and have you commited.

I wish that they made better reality shows. (I mean there are no really GOOD reality shows today.)

[Fett One]

Granted but the show does so well that it ends up being aired on every single network 24/7, making it the only show that people can watch

I wish everything was free

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but people will then die, as their life are also "free".

I wish I own a Jigglypuff that wouldn't put me to sleep.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Instead it slits your throat at night.

I wish I had gills.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, but you don't have lungs anymore and you're nowhere near a body of water.

I wish for universial peace

[darktyranitar]

Granted. You will find out that you have to die first.

I wish World War Three won't happen.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Before it can occur, a cult unleashes a deadly virus that destroys all humanity.

I wish that I had a trash bag to put in my trash can.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but someone steals your trash can and you can't just leave the trash bag out on the sidewalk or you will get fined.

I wish I could ride every ride at the fair.

[Fett One]

Granted but you get sick from riding so many rides that you end up throwing up on the person sitting next to you on very last ride you decided to go on

I wish to own an imax theater

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but your eyesight will worsen due to the prolonged exposure to the bright light of the imax theater.

I wish I could come up with a better avatar.

[Blademaster]

Granted; this becomes your avatar:

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j89/Soul_of_the_Phoenix/PBJT.jpg

I wish I could impersonate voices perfectly.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but the voices you impersonate are really really really really annoying voices.

I wish that they didn't make such BAD games.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but they'll make TERRIBLE games.

I wish the next poster won't just change my word to twist my wish.

[Fett One]

Granted, your word won't get changed but you can't remember what the word is, so you spend so much time trying to remember it that you don't notice the car that is speeding right towards you, which ends up hitting and killing you, so you die never getting the chance to remember what the word is

I wish Optimus Prime and Megatron will become best friends

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but a greater enemy will come along and crush them both.

I wish that our planet was a lot larger so it could contain more people, plants and animals.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you will find that it will take you longer than usual to go place... since the planet is now a lot bigger.

I wish Fett wasn't so evil.

[Fett One]

Granted, I become even more evil by nuking your hometown and turning everyone into radioactive zombies

I wish holodecks were real

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but all of them came with the safety features off and when you enter a dangerous situation, you are mortally wounded.

I wish I could win an Oscar or an Emmy.

[darktyranitar]

Granted. You received it for a special award of "worst actor of all time".

I wish I could own a tame cheetah.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But you forget to feed it, so it kills and eats you based on its nearly-suppressed survival instincts.

I wish that I had a million dollars.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but the lawyers say that you will get one dollar for each year meaning that it will take you a million years to get the whole total. By then, you will expire before you can get the entire amount.

I wish that the new Pokemon Series got the original voice actors back instead of having these horrible voice actors.

[Fett One]

Granted but every tv in the world breaks at the same time making you unable to watch it

I wish animals could talk

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but they will tell everyone your dirty, deep, dark secrets.

I wish I have a banana with me right now.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it will be cursed but it comes with a free frugert ... which is also cursed which comes with toppings which is also cursed. (Sorry, I had to use that line from the Simpsons Treehouse Episode.)

I wish there was no such thing as bad luck.

[Blademaster]

Granted - now, everyone in the world who has and will ever have bad luck instead has no luck at all, thus nullifying your wish.

I wish I could go to school only when I felt like it and still get good grades.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, your now an decent hacker. You use these new skills to change your grades. But you get caught by both your parents and the government hacking into the school servers, in the middle of changing your grades.

I wish that I could have cool superpowers.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but your superpower are so cool that everytime you use them, it drains a bit of energy and if you use too much of your powers, you will go into a coma.

I wish I could be a guest star on Desperative Housewives.

[Fett One]

Granted but you have no lines and your character dies after only 5 seconds of screen time

I wish to visit other planets

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, but you are cursed in that every planet you visit ends up suffering some sort of horrible disaster, and the planets without life somehow are destroyed after you leave by some quirky incidient. Word goes around the universe and you become hated by all.

I wish I could understand how other creatures feel.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but your empath powers are so connect when they feel pain, you feel pain. Especially when it is pain that is so painfully that you wish you could die.

I wish I could have a planet all to myself.

[Fett One]

Granted, no one lives on the planet but you and you eventually go insane from the lonliness

I wish my dad will finally give in and let us get a dog

[Blademaster]

Granted - he takes you to a Manhattan street corner and buys you a hot dog for $3.50.

I wish I had a million Spanish doubloons.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but there are really dark chocolate rapid in gold tin-foil that looks like a Spanish doubloon ... and it isn't really good chocolate ... and you will get a terrible stomachache after eating all the chocolate.

(See, no dying.)

I wish I could participate in a cool RPG where anything can happen (which does not include anybody dying ... which I am exempt.)

[Blademaster]

Granted - you're now a part of 'It Sucks to be Us!,' created by Mystic_clown, but since you're already signed up there, your new sign-up is ignored and you are demoted to janitorial work as punishment for trying to sign up again.

I wish the next person to post here didn't post here.

[Fett One]

Blademaster, I liked your response to my wish.

Granted but then this game comes to an end since no one else can post after you so your wish gets ignored so that the game can continue

I wish people never ever broke the rules in PCG (coughBlademastercough)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but since nobody breaks the rules, this place is really really dull.

I wish something exciting would happen every single day.

[Blademaster]

Blademaster, I liked your response to my wish.

Thank you.

And I have never broken a rule at PCG - I merely exploit loopholes in the rules just like I do with the wishes in this game, like so:

Granted - everyday, thousands of people die, thousands more are born, there are fires, floods, storms, avalanches, earthquakes, and explosions, billions of dollars are received and spent, millions of mosters of steel and glass thunder across thousands of miles of interconnected pathways, thousands of miles of land are stripped, crushed, and cleared aside, and a big ball of fire appears in the sky, only to go away and be replaced by a much smaller and more insignificant ball of reflective rock surrounded by darkness later on before the entire process repeats itself. If all that isn't exciting, your expectations of excitement are too high.

I wish I had the day off again tomorrow.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. No employer would deny you leave to go to your own funeral.

...What do you mean, you're not dead? *pulls out gun and fires* ^_^

I wish that someone would bring Blademaster back from the dead.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but he comes back as a zombie whose goal is to ruin your life.

I wish that they would stop making bad superhero video games.

[Fett One]

Blademaster, I was refering to the fact that you didn't wait 2 turns to make a post in this game. Thats a rule that applies to every game in PCG, except for Questions Only.

Granted but then the only superhero games that are made are Spider-man games since those have been good for years now

I wish to grow 2 extra arms

[mr_pikachu]

Actually, there are many games that are exceptions to that rule. I could list them, but you can check the PCG rules on your own if you're really interested.

Granted, but the arms are under the control of a demon that wants to kill you... and he succeeds.

I wish someone would have told me that my meeting tonight was cancelled...


EDIT: Blademaster, if that's your excuse, then... that's kind of pathetic. It can pretty much be assumed that you know what the rule means.

And Pokemon Hangman is one of the other exceptions I mentioned. Read the PCG Rules thread for yourself.

[Blademaster]

Blademaster, I was refering to the fact that you didn't wait 2 turns to make a post in this game.

Again, I didn't really break that rule - I loopholed. See:

"=8= After you've made a post on a game, you have to wait until at least 2 more people have posted after you before posting again on that topic."

That's the exact wording of the rule, according to Gabi. I did indeed wait until two more people had posted.

They just didn't post in this game - they posted elsewhere on TPM.

Loopholes are fun! :D

Besides, if that rule
applies to every game in PCG, except for Questions Only, then a lot of people are breaking that rule in Pokemon Hangman. ;)

Moving on...

Granted - Brian, your meeting tonight was cancelled.

I wish I could accelerate or decelerate time as I pleased.

[Fett One]

I know other games are exempt, I just wasn't paying attention to what I was writing at the time.

Granted but you accidently accelerate time on yourself, thus turning yourself into an elderly person within a matter of seconds

I wish to be able to walk through walls

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you will eventually get yourself stuck in a wall when your power to walk through wall is off, and you will be stuck in there forever.

(Loopholes? Blade, you're just giving excuses)

I wish Blademaster wouldn't make things too complicated.

[Blademaster]

Excuses? No - excuses imply uncertainty, and uncertainty implies dishonesty. I am being quite honest; the rules are vague enough to warrant certain perfectly legal actions that seem illegal at first glance. You simply aren't looking hard enough.

Granted - I now make things very simple through a series of seemingly complex explanations, just as I always do.

I wish I had a pet Kuriboh. ^_^

[Fett One]

Granted but your Kuriboh is untameable and thus destroyed everything in your house

I wish Blademaster will stop using his so called "Loopholes"

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, now everyone else around you except Blademaster starts using "Loopholes". Very bad ones.

I wish that there were 48 hours in a day.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but everything takes so long to do due to the long periods of time.

I wish I had a magic Stopwatch so I could cause trouble.

[Fett One]

Granted but the watch breaks while time is paused, leaving you alone and ageing normally while everyone else looks like statues and remains the same age

I wish to never have to get a job

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you will be poor for the rest of your life.

I wish Blademaster wasn't so evil.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but he is sooooo nice that it makes you sick to your stomach.

I wish I had the last book of the A Series of Unfortunate Event Series.

[Fett One]

Granted but the book is written in a language you can't understand

I wish to be the most powerful person in the universe

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, you are now the only being in the universe

I wish that I could choose how my food tasted.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but the only choice you can make would be "crap flavour".

I wish I have a faster internet.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it is so fast you will never get anything done.

I wish I would stop making mistakes in the Pokemon Hangman Topic.

[Fett One]

Granted, you can no longer participate in the game so you can't make any more mistakes

I wish cable television was free

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, Its now free, because its now controlled by the gov't who now use it to broadcast sublimitial messages and to diverge boring useless information to everyone about nothing important(plus reruns of said useless information). And a law comes in effect forcing every citizen to wear special, ugly looking goggles and headphones that superimpose the broadcasts over anything else. And if you take them off, the punishment is death by firing squad.

I wish I wasn't so creative sometimes

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you now lost all of your IQs.

I wish Blademaster will post after this.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but his next post will be nothing but spam so now he can't participate in this game anymore.

I wish I had Slifer the Sky Dragon in my possession plus all Rare Hunters were already defeated.

[Blademaster]

Granted - you now have bought a useless Slifer card, and there are no Rare Hunters in real life - not to mention they were all defeated several years ago. As a result, you are now $50 poorer.

I wish I had a Faujta for a roommate.

(In case you don't know, 'Faujta' is the more 'scientific' name for the aliens in the Predator movies.)

[Fett One]

Granted, on its first night as your roommate, it kills you after you fall asleep

I wish computers cost less

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But this will shift the economic market so much that food becomes too expensive for you to buy, and you die from starvation as a result.

I wish that my classes didn't have exams so soon.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, thanks to your complaining, you will have a big giant exam that is worth 90 percent of your grade in a couple days about topics you have no idea about.

I wish I could get over this cold or whatever it is.

[Blademaster]

Granted, on its first night as your roommate, it kills you after you fall asleep

(movie nerd mode)

1. He, not it. Only male Faujta hunt and fight.

2. Faujta are honorable fighters and would never so much as strike an unarmed fighter, let alone kill one in his/her sleep.

(normal mode)

Granted; you get over it after your immune system flushes it from your body, which will take a week or two.

I wish I could spend as much time with my girlfriend as I do at school, and vice-versa.

[Fett One]

1. He, not it. Only male Faujta hunt and fight.

2. Faujta are honorable fighters and would never so much as strike an unarmed fighter, let alone kill one in his/her sleep.

I didn't know about the first one. As for the second one, I know that which is why I thought it would be funny for you to get stuck with the one Faujta that is un-honorable

Granted but now you don't have time to do anything else and that includes sleep, which results in you dying from exhaustion

I wish Kyle Katarn could be given bigger parts in the Star Wars Novels

[Blademaster]

Granted but now you don't have time to do anything else and that includes sleep, which results in you dying from exhaustion

How would switching the amount of time I spend doing those two things add more time? Switching from 2 hours with her and 6 hours at school with 6 hours with her and 2 hours at school doesn't even add fifteen minutes. It wouldn't add nearly enough time to take up the whole day, unless of course I already spend the whole day doing those things, in which case I would have died from exhaustion (If that is even possible, as I would assume you'd simply pass out after going without sleep long enough.) a long time ago.

Anyway...

Granted - he now has bigger BODY parts in the novels, including 8-foot arms, 20 foot legs, and a head that weighs 500 pounds, crushing his neck and killing him, thus greatly altering the novels.

I wish I knew how to play mahjong.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but that's all you know how to play.

I wish I could come up with the most popular candy product that would beat all previous candy products.

[Fett One]

Granted, but it so good that people stop eating all food except for your candy. this causes the entire world to become obese and to lose their teeth

I wish all diseases were wiped out

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but a powerful disease springs up and without the other diseases to find a cure, the whole population of earth is wiped out ... end of the world baby.

(Okay, that last line was pretty tacky.)

I wish I would stop coming up with tacky lines.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you now come up with horrible lines.

I wish I didn't have too much pet in my house.

[Charles Legend]

Granted but now you have are the Proad owner of a diglet who thinks a Suidide bomber and has syour explosive belt straped to it...

Speacking of pets Faiz I wish that I had a male Lucario named Commander Doggie as a pet.

~Charles legend

[Fett One]

Granted but Lucario is a coward which makes its name seem funny to everyone

I wish the sky will turn red

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but everyone will be so distracted by the red sky that they fail to notice a huge asteroid plummeting towards earth that will wipe out all life.

(Okay, is this the 100th times that my wish granting ends in death?)

I wish I could invent a invention that will not only be usable by everybody on earth but will make everyone's life even better.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Surprisingly enough, the world is a better place without you!

(Yes. ;))

I wish we had the old smileys back.

[Fett One]

Granted but no one ever uses them

I wish ghost were real

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but they only exist to hunt you and nobody else but YOU.

I wish I had the phone number for Pizza Hut on my cell phone.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but it turned that you have their old number, which has been long out of service.

I wish mr_pikachu will get himself an avatar.

[Fett One]

Granted, he uses a picture of darktyranitar mom as an avatar :D

I wish for a white christmas this year

[Blademaster]

Granted, but since Christmas is not a single, concrete entity, you can't see that it is white.

I wish I had more Barbecue Pringles.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but the Barbecue Pringles contain a flavor so strong that when you eat a single chip, your taste buds are destroyed so you can't enjoy any of the Barbecue Pringles ever again.

I wish I had some medicine to get rid of this cold or whatever it is.

[Fett One]

Granted, but the medicine also gets rid of your nose so you enver have to deal with a clogged, runny nose ever again

I wish for an unlimited supply of pizza

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But you've crammed an infinite amount of mass into a room with finite size... and since your completely compressed remains are in that room right now, we should get you a casket.

I wish the iPod player in my car was working properly.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it only last a couple of hours before it goes dead and can never be used again.

I wish that it would snow on Halloween (according to my parents, it has snowed on Halloween before.)

[Fett One]

Granted but you have to move to New York for it to happen

I wish all food tastes like chicken

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but now, even the poisonous food taste like chicken. You will then die without even knowing what had caused your death.

I wish every edible food taste like chicken.

[Blademaster]

Granted; eventually, you tire of the taste and now are stuck with bad-tasting food for the rest of your life.

I wish for a 900-pound safe full of nitroglycerin and gunpowder would fall through the roof over my head at the same time that a series of precisely balanced tripwires had been set up around my entire room which, when any of them are touched, a chain reaction is triggered that causes an armory's-worth of firearms, explosives, and melee weapons to fly across the room and completely destroy everything inside it, including a failsafe switch that, when damaged, opens a trapdoor beneath the room that causes it and everything inside it to plummet through a 4000-foot pit of acid-and-poison-soaked steel spines leading down to a pit of lava at the very bottom...

...and mr_pikachu must grant this wish, or it will be null and void. ;)

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. However, you're not in your room.

...You were slowly and brutally stripped, beaten, slashed, shredded, and killed the day before the detonation. And while your room is being destroyed, your corpse is still making a puddle in the hallway.

(Good enough for ya? ;))

I wish that Blademaster hadn't requested that I grant his last wish.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but he then asked someone else to make the wish, causing him to die anyway.

I wish Blademaster didn't made that wish.

[Blademaster]

(Good enough for ya? ;))

.......

Oh, it's on now...

Granted; I didn't make it... now. But I still made it then.

I wish I was invincible and unable to die in this game.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Unfortunately, you ventured into Three Word Story and got obliterated by a missile.

mr_pikachu: 1
Blademaster: 0

I wish that Blademaster would quit picking fights with me.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but now Blademaster and I went out to fight you.

mr_pikachu: 1
Blademaster (and darktyranitar): 1

I wish I didn't posted this.

[Blademaster]

Granted, but I don't.

I wish MR-PIKACHU wasn't so smart.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, MR-PIKACHU's, who is another member on the TPM forum, IQ just dropped to a low level while mr_pikachu's IQ stayed normal.

I wish my nose would stop bleeding every time I do something.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Dead people can't do anything, so no more nosebleeds for you!

I wish people really would name themselves out of respect for me.

[Blademaster]

Granted - they name themselves after you as a way of honoring and remembering you.

(Oh, yes I did! :D)

I wish I had Jason Voorhees as a roommate.

[Fett One]

Granted, he cuts off your hands and rip's out your vocal cords so you have no way to say or write insults towards mr_pikachu

I wish people would stop arguing in this game as well as in every other game on TPM

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but without the arguing, the games get really dull so people stop playing them. (Seriously, I think the whole arguing thing does make these games interesting ... to a point.)

I wish Blademaster would accept my apology for poking fun at his posting one word answers on The Or Game.

[Blademaster]

Granted, but if you do it again, I'm sending Jason after you.

I wish the refs at ASB were a bit faster.

[Fett One]

Granted, they are so fast that they can catch peoples mistakes before they even make them

I wish Urkel was popular again

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but as soon as he is popular, everyone gets so sick of him that they lock him up in a cryo time capsule hoping that they don't here from him for the next 200 years.

I wish I could have an unsunkable ship unlike the Titantic.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but your ship (as does the Titanic) will one day sink after crashing into an iceberg :).

I wish they didn't make those unnecessary evolution for old Pokemon on the DP Pokemon game.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, No more unnecessary evolutions. But Nintendo instead makes many new, really bad pokemon that have less originality then even one of the "unnecessary" evolutions

I wish I wasn't so tired >_>

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Incidentally, I have an idea for a new slogan... Death. You've never slept this well!

(See, it's like those commercials for fancy mattresses, except... oh, forget it.)

I wish I hadn't managed to miss the last two episodes of Naruto.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but you will be really missing nothing when you find out the two episodes were all about the main characters sitting, eating, sleeping, etc so be glad you didn't watch them and got BORED out of your mind. (I doubt there are any episodes like that but I had to give it a shot.)

I wish Team Rocket could have a machine that was invincable so they didn't have to blast off again once more.

[Fett One]

Granted but they still fail to catch pikachu

I wish to have a Nintendo DS

[Blademaster]

Granted; you have a Nintendo DS that was stolen from the factory prior to being assembled, so you not only can't play it, but also you get sued for $250,000 by Nintendo of America for stealing and tampering with their property.

I wish nobody in this game or any future versions of it could ever die in any way, shape, or form ever again, and if anyone does, I have the freedom to pester and annoy mr_pikachu the killer whenever I want with no negative repercussions.

(Beat that! :D)

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but you now banned from the game and the forum, so you have no way to post those pestering post. Simple, no? ;)

I wish Blademaster will really go head to head with mr_pikachu.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but since you weren't very specific, all they do is ram their heads against each other and that turns out to be a very boring fight.

I wish I had enough money to buy a Guardian Membership on Adventure Quest so I can play any time, any day or any hour.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, only as you pay for Guardian Membership, your computer dies, someone sabertages all the ISP's in the region using a killer virus just before a set of massive worldwide earthquakes breaking all the underground sea cables and aliens decided to use the satellites in space as target practice for thier new prototype weapons.

( :P I've already got Guardian Membership on AQ :P )

I wish I could design things for a living.

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. You design public toilets... from the sewer up.

I wish I could hear whatever song I wanted when I wanted to.

[Blademaster]

Granted - you can hear the songs in your head by thinking of them, but since you're only relying on memory, you horribly mangle each song.

I wish I had a box kite.

[Fett One]

Granted but everytime you use it it gets caught in a tree

I wish to be rich

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but every time you leave your home, thousands of charities will beg you non-stop for money, and it won't stop there ... they will follow you where ever you go ... hounding you to give the money ... for the rest of your life.

I wish I had the Laptop Gun from Perfect Dark.

[darktyranitar]

Granted. Unfortunately, it was only a dud.

I wish I was a Gengar.

[Blademaster]

Granted, but you aren't strong enough to evolve. Ever. Too bad.

(PM me if you didn't understand that. ;))

I wish I had a box kite that didn't get caught in trees.


Oh, BTW, I have more BBQ Pringles now. W00t - my wish was granted. :D

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, instead it gets caught in power lines.

I wish there was a full moon out every time i wanted it.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but thanks to you being a werewolf, you can't stop transforming everytime there is a full moon out which means that your human life will be cut off and you will have to live as a werewolf for the rest of your life ... unless you find sometime silver and kill yourself.

I wish my arm would stop hurting from the flu shot I got from yesterday.

[Blademaster]

Granted, but you have to wait a few days for the pain to subside.

I wish I had a spare box kite.

[Fett One]

Granted but the spare kite gets caught in power lines and you end up getting electricuted

I wish whales were really fish

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but people then would debate wether it's really a fish or a mammal.

I wish Dinosaur still exist, and human would now be a lot more bigger than they are now.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but the Dinosaur would be even bigger than the humans causing the Dinosaurs to win and they are the surpreme species of this planet.

I wish I could think of more wishes to think.

(It is kind of hard not to repeat yourself even though it has only been two or three games by now.)

[Blademaster]

Granted; you think of something you want, and then you come back.

I wish I had a pair of rubber gloves so I could fly my box kite without worrying about being electrocuted.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But they're scratchy.

...

Sorry. I feel too good right now to kill anyone.


CARDINALS WIN!!!
CARDINALS WIN!!!
CARDINALS WIN!!!
CARDINALS WIN!!!
CARDINALS WIN!!!

*passes out* :D

[darktyranitar]

Well... since no wish is made...

I wish mr_pikachu will stop his reign of killing people off in this game for good :).

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but I will take over his place and the deaths will be even more terrible.

I wish that the Cardinals didn't win.

(Please forgive me for saying that, mr_pikachu.)

[Fett One]

Granted but everyone in St Louis comes after you with pitchforks and torches

I wish mr_pikachu doesn't forgive Inferno_Dragon for making his wish

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but he then became so enraged that he decided to kill off everyone in this game. Everyone, RUN!!!

I wish mr_pikachu did forgive Inferno_Dragon for that wish.

[Blademaster]

Granted; mr_pikachu starts taking his frustration out on me again instead. Damn circle of life... :sweat:

I wish I had a baseball bat instead of this wussy push broom I stole borrowed from Barry.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you soon find out that it is actually Ness's Baseball Bat and he comes after you attacking with all his psychic powers.

I wish the price of the PS3 would come down a week after it is released.

[Fett One]

Granted, the price comes down $10 so you still can't afford to buy one

I wish all video games will never cost more then $30

[Blademaster]

Granted; now every video game on Earth combined only costs $30, which means that you can buy hundreds for only a penny. Obviously, they are all horribly underdeveloped and virtually unplayable.

I wish Mega Horny would come back to TPM.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but he will come back to bother you and only you, Blademaster for the time he spends on TPM.

I wish I had enough money to buy the Wii and several games for the Wii.

[Fett One]

Granted but the Wii won't work and the games will all be scratched so you can't play them even if the Wii worked. To make matters worst its all non-returnable so your out all of the money you spent on them

I wish the consoles will come out sooner so we don't have to wait so long

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but they are not fully developed yet, so you can't play the games. And worst off all, they are non-returnable (sorry, I'm not feeling really creative now).

I wish Mega Horny will come back to TPM and bother mr_pikachu instead.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but he gets so angry being bothered by Mega Horny that he resorts to paying Mega Horny to bother you, darktyranitar.

I wish I had a magic wand that would make life much easier.

[Fett One]

Granted but it makes life on your family 10 times harder

I wish to see The Simpson movie the night it comes out

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but there will be so many people ahead of you, you'll miss everything except the ending.

I wish that I was a cartoonist.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you are a cartoonist working for the Simpsons Movie but since everyone is pressuring you to make a good movie, your life will be a living hell.

I wish we could find a way to get rid of our pets (in a humane way) so we don't spend so much on food and litter.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but here comes the pests to make our lives a living hell!

I wish I could create a rail gun; one that wouldn't backfire on me.

[Blademaster]

Granted - your rail gun can't backfire because you only made the gun itself; ergo, you have no ammunition.

I wish I didn't have to wait until next May to buy Super Mario Galaxy. :(

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but now you have to wait until next NEXT NEXT May to buy Super Mario Galaxy.

I wish the next poster would only write in uppercase letters. (For example, this sentence would be like this; I WISH THE NEXT POSTER WOULD ONLY WRITE IN UPPERCASE LETTERS!)

[Fett One]

GRANTED BUT PEOPLE OTHER THAN ME WILL RESENT YOU FOR THIS

I WISH TO NEVER GET A HEADACHE EVER AGAIN

[Blademaster]

Granted - everytime too much blood goes to your head and would give you a headache, it instead drains out your nose, so whenever you'd get a headache, you get a hemorrhaging nosebleed instead.

I wish I could control when I was hungry or tired.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but you can only do it on weekends so you have no control on the weekdays.

I wish the next poster would post in pig-latin.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but his words are so small that you can't read it. Hey, is this a pig latin?

I wish Inferno Dragon knew that I actually wrote those words in this post, only that they are not in pig-latin :).

[Fett One]

Granted but he decides to kill you for no reason

I wish darktyranitar didn't have to die

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but since he is really Neo (and Neo supposably dies at the end of the third Matrix Movie), he has to die.

I wish that the ending to the third Matrix movie was more plausable.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, the ending to the third Matrix movie is now more plausable, but it is now also horribly cliched.

I wish all spider's bites weren't vemonous to me.

[darktyranitar]

Granted. Now, you have a terrible allergy to animal furs instead that will eventually lead you to your death.

I wish I (or Neo, whatever) didn't have to die.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but they will keep on making Matrix movies and they will get so bad that the directors and writers of the matrix will get bombarded with hate mail (half of them with hate bomb letters) that their lives will be ruined; as for you darktyranitar, you can't die because you are immortal but because you can't die and can't join your loved ones (friends and family) your life will so miserable that you can't even be happy ever again.

I wish I could be a contestant on 1 vs 100 and get my 5 minutes of fame no matter if I win or lose.

[Fett One]

Granted but you will be forever known as the guy who wet himself on national televsion due to being extremely excited to be on TV

I wish there was less reality tv shows

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, they replace reality tv with a massive ammount of crappy soap operas.

I wish I could clean up foul language with just a thought.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but there is a side-affect ... all those foul language are stuck in your mind and will come at really really awkward times.

I wish that this game would continue on for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000 more games.

[Fett One]

Granted but us, our kids and our grand kids will never live to see this game finally come to an end

I wish all people could recieve a viking funeral

[darktyranitar]

Granted. Now, everyone in the world will die, leaving you alone to deal with the dead.

I wish Inferno Dragon won't refer to my username everytime he twists my wish.

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. Unfortunately, he'll never get your name right again.

I wish I knew how many calories were in food just by looking at it.

[Fett One]

Granted but you become so freaked out by the number of calories that you eat each day that you become araid of all food and starve to death

I wish to have a pet dog

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you got a dog so vicious that whenever you approach it, it tries to bite your hand off so you lock in a room and don't venture into until one day you venture into the room by accident and gets mauled to death.

I wish my life was so miserable that everything goes wrong no matter the situation.

[Blademaster]

Granted - everything goes wrong everywhere as long as you exist, which results in the destruction of every conceivable reality and plane in existence.

I wish mr_pikachu would join ASB. :)

[darktyranitar]

(Hey, I really want something like that to happen to!)

Granted, but as soon as he joined ASB, he'll be coming to battle you. And what do you know? He won!

I wish I had insomnia.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. You have total insomnia, so you can never go to sleep again. (You'll go crazy and kill yourself within a week.)

I wish that I would get straight As in all my classes.

[Blademaster]

Granted, but since the A's are straight, they're technically 'I's,' which isn't a grade. So, you get no grades, which means you fail all your classes.

I wish I could turn into liquid metal like the T-1000 from Terminator 2.

[darktyranitar]

Granted. Unfortunately, just like the T-1000 in the movie, you will be killed when you fell into a very hot pool of burning metal.

I wish my exam has ended.

[Fett One]

Granted but you failed all of your exams so you have to retake all of those classes

I wish to meet and marry a princess

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but that princess is so stuck-up that you can wait for her to get kidnapped by a dragon, giant or ogre.

I wish I had a dragon that was my best friend to the ends of time.

[darktyranitar]

Granted. The ends of time turn out to be during his lunch time, and since there was no other food around... you are now his meal.

I wish I don't have to go to school tomorrow.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted. You catch a horrifing disease ten minutes from the time you posted and have to be quantined until you rot to death.

I wish I all food I would eat was not only healthy and tasted really nice too.

[Fett One]

Granted but the food taste so good that you never stop eating so you end up dying from over eating

I wish to become the embodiment of death

[Blademaster]

Granted - you die. :dead:

I wish I could do anything in existence.

(Yeah, just try to twist this one, punks! :cool:)

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. But once you have the power to do anything in exist, you never do anything at all, because you can never decide what to do first.

I wish I had perfect peace of mind.

[Fett One]

Granted but it causes you to be so calm that you fail to realize the danger when your house catches on fire so you don't thik to leave the house

I wish to have all of Superman powers

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you also have all of Superman's weaknesses.

I wish I could be a superhero with no weaknesses at all.

[SoulflameNinetales]

Granted, but due to such a wish being impossible, wishing it tears apart the fabric of the universe and of time.

I wish I never needed toilet breaks

[Fett One]

Granted but die from becoming extremely over weight since you body has no way of getting rid of the excess food.

I wish no one in this game has to die

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but a different clause starts that a character needs to die in this topic once a week.

I wish I could get my DVDs from Netflix much faster so I can finish the DVDs in my queue so I can add a lot more things to watch.

[darktyranitar]

Granted; it take so much space out of your house that you have to sleep outside on the road (hm, why does this answer sounds kinda familliar?)

I wish my cat will stop stealing food from the kitchen.

[Fett One]

Granted, your cat steals food from the mafia instead, which causes the mafia to hunt you down

I wish the board didn't get changed

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but the previous board contains a virus so fowl that infects the other members's computer causing them to crash ... and it will cost them everything to fix it because the virus is the worst one of its kind.

I wish I knew the true reason why we switched boards.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but well... you're not gonna like it when you hear the reason.

I wish the next person will make a wish related to the changing of the boards too.

[Fett One]

Granted but you become blind and deaf so you have no way of knowing what the wish is

I wish the board will change once a week

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but each time it changes everybody's accounts are erased so they have to start from scratch. And just when they have things all perfect, it changes again. When they finally find out that you made that wish, they will beat you to death.

I wish I had Fairy Godparents and I am smart enough not to tell anybody about them so my mind won't be erased plus I won't get pummeled to a pulp by the supreme ruler of Fairy World.

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but they'll mess up your wish instead, and then you wish that you never made the wish in the first place.

I wish this place could be back to it's active state back.

[Charles Legend]

Granted but it so active that the Server keeps crashing and Kevin has to upgrade the Forms again...

I wish that I could beat the entire battle Frontier on my Emerald...

~Charles Legend :evil:

[Fett One]

Granted but then you have nothing else to do in the game so you stop playing it and never touch another pokemon game ever again

I wish my parents will give in and get us cable television instead of sticking with broadcast television

[darktyranitar]

Granted, but since you said "us" instead of "me", that mean that other people will also be watching the TV with you. And very soon, you'll find yourself kicked away from the cable TV, and you now you are stuck back with the broadcast TV.

I wish mr_pikachu will post after me.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but mr_pikachu decides to ignore this thread for a long time that he will never answer your wish so I am posting instead.

I wish I could be friends with Naruto.

[Fett One]

Granted but your friendship only lasts for 0.05 seconds

I wish this game will never end

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. The good jokes run out after a week, but you're stuck playing this game for the rest of time.

I wish I had perfect teeth.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Too bad the perfect teeth you collected are chewing through your carotid artery.

I wish that I remembered to post in this game more often.

[Fett One]

Granted but you post so often that you keep breaking the waiting 2 turns rule which causes you to get banned from pokemasters

I wish to get a new job

[Mega Horny]

Granted, but your new job is working under Mr. Pikachu's Grammar Patrol.

I wish I could find this chill fanfic I wrote when I was little, completely intact and readable.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you found out that you wrote it Antarticia when you were young and the computer is frozen that it will take you years to unfreeze. By the time you do, fanfics will be thing of the past. (Not to offend fanficers, but this was the best scenario I could come up with.)

I wish that I would be friends with Sasuke for about 3 months.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Your friendship comes to an abrupt end when you are torn to shreds in the middle of a mission.

I wish our PM inboxes could store more than 50 messages.

[Mega Horny]

(My fic was handwritten ^^)

Granted, but then TPM also reverts back to its less reliable format on whatever boards we used to use.

I wish Shiny Tauros didn't look so stupid.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but since it is no longer looks stupid, you can't tell if it is a shiny which will cause chaos for all Tauros trainers.

[Mega Horny]

Wish?

[Inferno_Dragon]

Oops, sorry I was so concentrated on the granting of the wish that I forgot to make a wish. Well, it is not like this has happened before .. has it?

I wish I had a time machine so I could fix my mistake.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Unfortunately, you don't know how to work the machine, so you accidentally go back to the Triassic era... and the dinos think you look like a prehistoric fish stick.

I wish we could see the never-produced final season of Static Shock.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it would be in Japanese, and unless you can understand their language, it would not be worth it to watch.

I wish that anyone here in North America could understand foreign languages from all over the world.

[Fett One]

Granted but everyone forgets how to speak english in the process

I wish there was no risk of robots turning against humans

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but since people don't have to worry about robots turning on them, they don't notice that their own pets are turning against them ... soon it will be too late and the human race is extinct.

I wish I didn't have a robot that would obey me.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Instead you have a robot that throws you into a wood chipper despite your screaming protests.

I wish that I didn't procrastinate so much.

[Master of Paradox]

Granted, but you lose the ability to prioritize as well. Soon you find yourself completely unable to do anything as you can never decide what to do first.

I wish my glasses were indestructable.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but they are now attached to your face causing your vision to weaken making you blind.

I wish Master of Paradox didn't become blind.

[Fett One]

Granted but he becomes deaf instead.

I wish a cure for every single disease was invented

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. Unfortunately, the cure itself is a terminal disease.

I wish the various facets of my personality were people.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Sadist MoP kills all the other MoPs, then kills himself to spite everyone who ever cared about any of the MoPs.

I wish that no professional athletes cheated.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but because of your wish, every sport becomes boring because everyone plays fair and nothing really special happens.

I wish I could find a way to get rid of the WASLs.