<(Game)> Whack-a-TPMer (Lady Vulpix Approved)

[kitsun]

Welcome to the first of what hopes to be many exiting rounds of Whack-a-TPMer.

The rules are simple:

The object of the game is to "whack" as many different users that participate in the game and score as many whacks as possible.

to 'whack' someone, one must simply post who they are whacking and how they want to whack them.

I whack Bob; *SuperwhacKs Bob; *stomps Bob into the ground; are all acceptable whacks.

You may only whack those who have posted here. So, no sign-ups are necessary.

Here are the rules:

1) No Doublewhacks: you cannot whack the same person twice in a row.

2) No Backwhacks: you cannot whack a person that has whacked you until they have been whacked.

3) The Rule of Three: once a person has been whacked, that person cannot be whacked until three other people are whacked.

4) No Multiwhacks: only one whack per post, please.

5) No Rapidwhacks: you cannot whack multiple times in a row as per the double posting rule.

After a predetermined number of pages, I will tally up scores. Various "Awards" can be gleaned, such as:

Whack Champion: had the most variety of whacked users

Whackiest Whacker: awarded to the user with the most hilerious whack, as determined by poll.

Most Elusive Whack: awarded to the user that was whacked the least amount of times

I will create graphics for the awards as they are awarded.

This Round will last until the 121st post..

EDIT: Clarified ending of round 1.

[Mega Horny]

*Pours boiling water all over Kitsun, and throws his flailing carcass into a barrel of asbestos.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

I whack Mega Horny. *ties Mega Horny up with various types of meat and throws Mega Horny into the Lion Den and watchs his entire body get devoured by hungry lions.*

Not the ingenious but it is simple for my first Whack-a-TPMer.

[Blademaster]

Well, we've had two tosses so far... How about an actual 'whack' this time?

(whacks Inferno Dragon in the groin with a live pirahna)

^^

[Hinoryu]

Well, since I'm an IRC junkie, I might as well.

* Hinoryu slaps Blademaster around a bit with a large trout.

[kitsun]

WHAM! WHAMWHAMWHAM!!!

*Kitsun picks up his giant club off of the battered, whacked pulp of Mega Horny.

btw, Blademaster, I'll score whacks that dosen't actually use the word whack as long as they are legal and inflict harm to an "opponent".

[The Blue Avenger]

* Hypotenuse Man's Sol Blade lets out a howl! Megiddo!

(Hypotenuse Man leaps into the air amidst a background of flames. He gestures downward, and the sun falls from the sky. It gains more and more speed until it lands directly on top of kitsun... whacking him.)

[Blademaster]

Whack-a-Mod! W00t!

(whacks Hypotenuse Man across the face with a flaming cactus)

[The Blue Avenger]

Heh heh heh... Let's try this.

HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALP!

*Out of nowhere, the Elite Beat Agents skid up in their surprisingly Batman-esque car. They begin dancing to the tune of Jumpin' Jack Flash... all over Mega Horny, whacking him. Their boss, Commander Kahn, yells 'Mission complete!' as they leave.*

[Hinoryu]

Well, since Hypotenuse Man seems to have the handheld systems covered, let's do this the old-fashioned way.

*Casts Luminaire on Blademaster*

[Blademaster]

Oy! Whack me once, shame on you!

But whack me twice, and I put your ass on ice! :mad2:

(assumes a fighting stance; body explodes with golden energy as hair stands on end, turning blonde in the process)

"KAAAAAMEEEEE...HAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEE....HAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

(unleashes a beam of fiery anime death on Hinoryu, 'whacking' him into utter obliteration)

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, let's see if I can come up with something...I hope that this is legal.


*uses a big hammer to smash kitsun into a "Trou de loup"*

[Hinoryu]

Well, hey, I couldn't help it. There's only so many whackable people thanks to that 'Rule of Three'. Though I think I accidentally violated the Doublewhack rule.

*meanwhile, rollerblades up, and smashes shinypkmnchaser's head in, a la Shonen Bat.*

[kitsun]

*In a flash of light, an item appears from the sky, as SSB. Kitsun picks up the Home Run Bat, and SMASHes Hinoryu, sending him off into the distance.*

Team Hinoryu's blasting off again!

btw, hinoryu, yes you did violate the doublewhack rule, so I can only score one of them.

[Hinoryu]

Eh. Totally worth it. And while I'm at it.

*Displays a Duel Disk of the Battle Earth fic* I sacrifice King's Knight, Queen's Knight, and Jack's Knight to summon the God of Sun Dragon - Ra! *Proceeds to consume Blademaster's soul through fire, death, and phoenix gods.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

Wow, things happen when you step out of the room for a while.

*pulls up in a machine with a wrecking ball. Fires up the machine at full velocity and lets the wrecking ball crash into kitsun. (And if you don't think a wrecking ball is not dangerous, think about it being super powered and having your body being smashed with a wrecking ball that's velocity is so fast that it would probably break every bone in your body ... probably.)

[Blademaster]

(whacks kitsun between the eyes with a moldy tuna sandwich)

[kitsun]

*Kitsun takes an oversized copy of the Rules of Engagement, AKA the Whack-a-TPMer Rules, and Slams Blademaster into the ground like a stake*

(due to the Rule of Three, Blademaster's Whack is null and void, allowing me to whack him. Please see Inferno_Dragon's Post Just above yours, Blademaster. Sorry to be such a prick.)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Okay, time to pull out the big guns.

*a pair of giant guns appears in my hands which causes me to fall on my face.*

Okay, not that big and that's not what I meant.

*transforms into the Nine-Tales fox and starts to rip shinypkmnchaser into a million pieces while splattering blood everywhere.*

If that isn't brutal, then I don't know what is.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*/whack Hinoryu*

*Crazyelfboy whacks Hinoryu*

*type /lol*

Guild [Karune]: LOL

WOW ftw (Crazyelfboy lvl 70 Night Elf Warrior, Burning Legion, PVP)

[darktyranitar]

Oooh! *clutching head in pain* Ahh, I can't take it!

*unleash a powerful psychic blast towards some cars, gathering them to crush at Inferno Dragon until he was reduced to a ball of flesh, before the cars and removed and the said flesh then fell into a pit full of cannibal human*

Phew...

[Hinoryu]

Oh god, a night elf. I'll get you, oh yes I will.

*vents rage on kitsun in the form of a giant dragon, eating him alive.*

[Blademaster]

Well, with my options this limited...

Sorry, Lou.

(casts 'The Day After Tomorrow' -150*F wind at shinypkmnchaser, freezing him solid, then snaps off his head, leaps back, and hurls it at his body, shattering both to shards)

[Blademaster]

EDIT: Self double-posting...? o.O Freaky...

(deletes)

Sorry, guys - carry on. ^^;

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Crazyelfboy runs up and picks up Blademaster cathing him in a sack*
*Tips blademaster into a whack-a-mole game*
*Pulls out a giant PIE mallet*
*Starts whacking Blademaster as he pops out of the holes*


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pie

[Hinoryu]

*Simply has Erebus... well, let's not go there, at Blademaster. And trust me, if you don't know what Erebus is, you are much better off not knowing. No, I'm not talking Greek myth Erebus, that's nothing compared to this one. Let's just say an eternity of meathooks, insanity, and pain await.*

[Shadow Wolf]

Whoa! Careful, that is triple posting.

OK, let's see now...movies. Hmm...

*uses a "Clockstopper's time clock" to make himself ten times faster, then picks up a giant spiked club and hits Hypotenuse Man, sending him into oblivion.*

[Magmar]

*Produces the Moon Scepter and flings it at Hinoryu* >_>; alas, triple posting is painful

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports myself and darktyranitar into the Deathmatch rings. Nick Diamond and Johny Gomez introduced us and Miles Lane say that infamous Let's get it on. I start out by kick boxing darktyranitar but somehow he dodges it and hurt my foot against the ring posts. Then he takes out a bat and starts to beat me to death but due to my matrix skills, I only take one of the hits. Then I pulled out a arsenal of sharp weapon and throw it at the darktyranitar's body. All of the pierce his body but darktyranitar laughs anyways. darktyranitar says is that the best you can do? Then I point to the dagger with the explosive seal tag tied to it imbedded in his body (similiar to the one Naruto used on Gaara.) Then darktyranitar explodes causing blood to splatter all around the room. Then I am congradulated by Miles Lane for winning this match.

(Now that is one piece of brutality.)

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, it looks like it's sick, so it's time to chop it.

*uses an axe to chop the 10-meter-long coconut palm, then screams*

LOOK OUT, BELOW!!!!!

*The tree falls and smashes Crazy Elf Boy*

...:idea:

*quietly leaves the scene*

[Jeff]

JEFF used WHACK!
Foe MAGMAR fainted!

JEFF gained 300 EXP. points!

[Inferno_Dragon]

*random encounter with Jeff. Jeff fires off a volley of barrages but due to my shield spell, they all scatter everywhere causing mayhem to the towns around us. I summoned every single summon (Shiva, Bahamut, Alexander, Tonberry ... etc, etc, etc.) I can think of and watched as they mutilate Jeff.*

[Hinoryu]

Apologies. I have no idea how the triple-post thing happened.

*apologizes until Jeff can take no more and his eardrums burst.*

[Mega Horny]

*picks up Blademaster, and carries him to a local factory. Ties him to a conveyor belt leading towards a series of gears, which rip off his skin, revealing a metal cyborg interior. Next, I apply headphones to his ears, and turn on some really loud Sheryl Crowe. WHACK.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

*ties Hinoryu down to a DDR Machine. Explains that each time a mistake is made, part of your body will get cut. I set it to really really really really really extreme hard mode (there probably isn't such a mode but for this case, let's just say there is.). The game is so hard that Hinoryu keeps messing up and at the end of the game, what is left is a few body parts of what was Hinoryu.*

[Blademaster]

(Now that is one piece of brutality.)

You wanna see brutality...? Heh heh heh heh heh...

Screw references - I'm going with originality this time.

(knocks kitsun unconscious, the cuts his stomach open and sticks in a grenade, tied to the pin of which is a single strand of cord, which I then proceed to coax up through his esophagus and out his mouth before sewing him back up)

-----------------SEVERAL HOURS LATER--------------------

(kitsun wakes up and begins to gag on the cord; in a panicked frenzy, he grabs the cord and yanks it out several feet before it is finally freed, a small keylike piece of metal on the end)

kitsun: .......?

.........

Oh, shi-

(kitsun's stomach explodes on all sides, leaving nothing holding him up save a spinal column)

kitsun: O_O .......... (falls over)

Now THAT'S how you whack someone.

[darktyranitar]

Since I'm not feeling very creative right now...

*creeps up behind Mega Horny, and kick his legs, causing him to fall backward into what appear to be a bottomless pit*

Mega Horny: Yaaaahhhh.... *echoes for what seems like forever before voice fades out*

*Whack*

Hm, wonder what he fell to to make that kind of voice? Oh well... *runs off*

[Inferno_Dragon]

*attacks Blademaster with several snakes. Blademaster is bitten but he seems to survive but not for long. Speaking Parseltongue, I summon my Basilisk. Blademaster tries to pull out a mirror but I teleport it away. He tries to shut his eyes but I am one step ahead of him. I teleport in front of him, pushes him down and flips him over. While performing a temporary shielding spell over my eyes, I turn to pull Blademaster's head towards the Basilisk's Glare ... which kills him.*

[Hinoryu]

This game got gory quick.

*First, uses Auto-Life on DarkTyranitar. Then rips out his spinal column. Removes any ribs that go with it, and attaches them to the end to make a makeshift spear. Then impales him through the heart with it. Autolife revives him with the spear still in the heart, killing him again instantly. Then revives, then kills, then revives, then kills, ad infinitum.*

[mr_pikachu]

*I whack Hinoryu with the Pokemon Hangman Randomizer and then bury him with plushies.

Accidentally broke the Rule of Three... it's fixed now.

[Shadow Wolf]

*Uses all active and locked threads (in form of pokeballs) to bash Magmar, making a whooping 303 combo. Voice echoes: "Ultra, ultra..."*

[Crazy Elf Boy]

http://file017a.bebo.com/11/large/2007/03/20/11/2492097427a3887411602b339976983l.jpg

I play this Targeting Mr Pikachu

hehehe what do you think of Magic now HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

btw enjoy your whacking :angel:

[kitsun]

Kitsun reaches into his backpack and pulls out a round shiny object. "A GRENADE!!!", everyone yells, as they all run and hide. Spying a target, Kitsun throws the object at Hypotenuse Man.Hypotenuse Man shreeks and run for cover before being captured by a pokeball. Kitsun calmly walks up and waits for the pokeball to stop shaking. He then pulls out a 500 lb. mallot, crushing the pokeball instantly.

You have been WHACKED!

THATS for throwing the entire sun on me!
(See, I did it without gore ^_^)

[Hinoryu]

*Has Kitsun meet Superman. Any devoted comic fan knows that Kitsun's in for some hell now.*

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports Crazy Elf Boy into the Twisted Wishes game and Crazy Elf Boy is instantly killed.*

[kitsun]

I think someone is due for some punishment.

*Kitsun pulls out a round, green stone and looks as though he is concentrating very hard. Then, a yellow aura appears around Kitsun and begins drawing into the stone. In a flash, he opens his eyes and extends the arm that is holding the stone. "Ultima!!!", he cries, as a hellish green explosion engulfs Inferno_Dragon. Nothing is left but charred remains.

[Mega Horny]

Dear Inferno Dragon,
http://www.baldingblog.com/photos/060303_trump.jpg
WHACK!

[darktyranitar]

*hits Kitsun with a big present box*

Happy birthday, kitsun! :birthday:

[Shadow Wolf]

*uses the Joker Trick on darktyranitar(touches a person with a Joker card and the person becomes a big Joker card) then pulls out a sword and cuts the Joker in half*

DESTROYED!!!!

[kitsun]

Ooh, a present? For me??!?!

*Kitsun eagerly opens the wrapping and peers inside the box.*

Wow! My very own lynch mob! Thanks, darktyranitar! Now who should I sic them on first...?

Hey Mega Horny! I have some friends who want to "talk" to you about the Rule of Three. Make sure you listen veeeeeery well. They don't like repeating themselves.

*The lynch mob hauls off Mega Horny to give him a good "talking-to," aka, breaking every bone in his body.*

Just so you know, WHACK!!!

(Seriously, on a side note, Rule of Three. Although I am considering taking off the No Backwhacks rule. Might help to speed the game up. Feedback?)

[Blademaster]

Rule of Three, huh...?

Mega Horny, darktyranitar, and kitsun are out...

Oh, Crazy Elf Boy...


----------------------------------

(Crazy Elf Boy wakes up in a bathroom-sized room with a TV screen on one wall and five red buttons arranged in random spots on the floor)

CEB: Wha...? Where am I...?

(the TV comes on; I appear on-screen wearing white face paint with red spirals on the cheeks, black contact lenses with red irises, and a wig of black, shoulder-length hair; I'm clad in a black tuxedo and a red bowtie and begin to speak)

"Hello, Crazy Elf Boy... I want to play a game...

For years, you have stood idly as a voyeur, watching the world around you pass you by; watching every opportunity offered to you slip past without even attempting to make a grab for it. Well, now an opportunity is being offered to you - one that you'll die should you allow to pass you by.

When this tape stops playing, the ceiling of the room you're in right now will begin to descend; ten minutes after it begins to drop, it will have fully descended to the floor. I doubt I need to tell you what will happen to you once that happens...

The buttons on the floor around you each have a number from 1 through 5 on them; you must push them in the correct order in order to stop the ceiling and open the exit.

However, each time you push a button incorrectly, a heated steel spine will be fired from one of several pinhole openings in the walls - and into you.

You have ten minutes to choose, Crazy Elf Boy - more than enough time for you to find the correct combination. The only question now is, how much pain will you endure to stay alive? Live or die, Crazy Elf Boy... Make your choice."

(tape goes blank staticky)

CEB: .......Um...... OK......

(takes about 60 spines to the arms, leg, and back before finally getting the correct combination; the ceiling doesn't stop)

CEB: O.O WTF?!?!??

(TV comes back on; a female figure appears on-screen and speaks)

"Hello, Crazy Elf Boy. My name is Amanda, and I designed this puzzle..."

CEB: ...Then... But, that means...

"You. Have. Been."

(ceiling suddenly plummets, crushing Crazy Elf Boy)

"Whacked."

(TV goes staticky again, then goes out completely)[/I]


-----------------------------

Neeeeeeext...? :rolleyes:

[Jeff]

Kills Blademaster DBZ style only to watch him pull himself back together again. Then says "screw this", pulls out a gun, and shoots him.

[kitsun]

Ok, Jeff, your next to be WHACKED by the great Kitsun.


-------------------------

With a sound of shattered glass, Kitsun & Jeff realized that they have entered into a random encounter battle with each other. As FFX battle music plays in the background, a strange stylized box appears about 10 ft. over there heads reading "Wild JEFF appears!!!" Kitsun starts by drawing his sword and begins running towards Jeff, yelling "Zombie Strike!" The sword flashes twice, as 2 shallow cuts appear on Jeff's chest.

142 damage!!! Jeff is Zombified!!!

Jeff counters by mumbling "BRAAINS!" He hobbles over to Kitsun in an attempt to latch on to Kitsun. Kitsun manages to fight him off and shoves him back a few steps.

A weak attack!!!

42 damage!!!

Kitsun responds by sheathing his sword and begins casting a spell. An angel floats down around Jeff, bestowing an Auto-Life halo upon him. Jeff looks confused and scared. Jeff again tries to latch on to Kitsun, but Kitsun has wisened up. Kitsun simply takes a step to the left and allows Jeff to trip.

Jeff has Auto-Life!!!
Jeff's attack FAILS!!!

13 damage to Jeff!!!

"Let's finish this up!!! Full Cure!!!!!" As a holy light engulfs Jeff, he catches on fire before falling to the ground. Then Auto-Life kicks in. The zomified corpse is continuously blasted by the blessed light until there is nothing left to blast.

Kitsun poses as a generic victory music starts to play.

Kitsun gains 1,742 exp. and 7,000 gil.


-----------------

You, Jeff, have been zombified AND WHACKED!!!!!

[Inferno_Dragon]

It is your turn mr_pikachu. You are the only one I haven't whacked.

*teleports the major cast of Nuklear Power.com surrounding mr_pikachu. Fighter slices you with his sword. White Mage heals you but finds out that you have been spreading awful rumors about you and hits you with her hammer. Black Belt pummels you with his fists. Red Mage bores you to death with his constant ramblings about RPG stats and for the coup-de-gra, Black Mage uses Hadoken on you.*

[Hinoryu]

*Casts ΩFlare on Inferno_Dragon. Actually exceeding the system's normal battle parameters for a total of D4FA damage. That's hexidecimal, for the record.*

[Crazy Elf Boy]

oooh you are sooo in for it now Blademaster. But that would violate the No whack back rules so i have to bid my time.

Eh time to DIE KITSUN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kitsun lies down on the ground as he mothers the wound he recieved during the last battle with the mindless hordes of undead out side the complex. He could only watch as his whole platoon was ripped apart limb from limb by the unwavering zombies.

"Man these things are B****** to kill" he muttered.

Kitsun moved over towards to supplys cabinet trying to break it open with the butt of his rifle. The metal door slowly creaked under the pressure of his force and cracked opened. Bottles of medicine rolled and fell to the floor as he moved his hand through the cupboards contents until it came across a roll of bandages and some tape.

"Damn government screwing around with all these alien artifacts" he whispered as he wrapped the bandages around the wound around his arm. "Why cant they just leave stuff like this alone"

Moving up from his slouched position he moved down the hallway.

"Next time I see those b****** presidential people i am going to kick them in the ass for mucking around with hell"

Kitsun reloaded his shotgun as he backed up against the wall before the next cornor.

"Hi ya" Kitsun screamed as he jumped around the corner.

But to his dismay nothing could be seen only another set of hallways and corridors. Tiny lights flickered on and off above Kitsun's head as he walked down the hallway. Suddenly the lights down the hallway began to shut off one by one until they reached Kitsun.

"Oh s***" he exclaimed "They got the bloody power"

Kitsun reached down to the holsters on his thighs to produce 2 small high powered pistols, cocking them both he continued to walk down the hallway. Kitsun heard blood curdling screams from around the corner, readying his weapons he silently moved around the corner only to see one of the scientists ripped open from the stomach upwards.

"Oh man that is just sick" he said as he wrenched his head back in disgust.

As Kitsun turned his head around he meet face to face with a hellish looking demon. Kitsun jumped back as the two faced monster leapt at him, the monster fell into the lockers behind him. Sliding along the floor Kitsun fired the pistols taking chunks of flesh from the beast until it finally fell to the ground with a resounding thud.

Picking himself up from the ground and dusting him self of Kitsun moved towards the control room to see if he could stop all this madness. Flashes of red light beamed from the room in front of him.

"This is it" he shouted. Jumping around the corner Kitsun protrudes the shot gun and fires a blast hitting several zombies in the chest causing them to fly back into the fiery portal to hell.

Seeing this the undead start to inclose on Kitsun's position, more of the hellish imps fly at him knocking him to the ground. Kitsun whimpers as the horde of zombies circle around him. Kitsun felt a tremor go through his whole body and the zombies started to back of from him. He looked up only to see a 8 foot tall, brown demon standing in front of him. Saliva dripped from its mouth as it picked up Kitsun in its mighty grasp.

Kitsun noticed something on the demon's chest it was a badge, a name badge.
"Commander Crazy Elf Boy" Kitsun read "OH YOU SON OF A B****"

Kitsun's sentence was cut off as the demon threw him into the wall behind him knocking Kitsun into the portal instantly disintergrating his flesh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OH YOU GOT WHACKED (ZING)

[Captn_BooZe]

Crazy Elf Boy i'm sorry but i have to WHACK u ..... :)

CEB is sleeping in his bed when (pause) ........ a kitten jumps on his bed and wakes CEB up instantly, CEB looks down at the small little creature and says "Hey there TINK" come to daddy, TINK jumps on CEB ripping at his chest untill he sees CEB's heart ripps it out show's it to CEB then dances on CEB's dieing body to the sound of it beating ...........

CEB manages to murmor a few words b4 the playfull kitty takes his last swipe .........

"y TINK yYYYYYYYYYY ," CEB
tink replies with a sneaky,......
"U FORGOT TO FEED ME"

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm CEB

[Shadow Wolf]

*shinypkmnchaser uses Capt. Crunch's anchor to smash and knock Captn_BooZe out*

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports Magmar into a empty field. I hid behind a tree. Magmar picks up a egg. I shout someone is stealing your eyes. Magmar feels breathing down his neck. Magmar turns around and see two Utahraptor looking at the eggs in Magmar's hand. The Raptors aren't happy. I run away and hear this blood-curdling scream in the distance.*

Magmar, you have been whacked.

[kitsun]

*Kitsun and Inferno_Dragon are instantly transported to a strange land of howling trees and blood-soaked land. We both feel as though we are being watched, but cannot detect anyone other than ouselves and the trees. A voice betrays itself, however, as it yells "FIGHT!"

Kitsun begins by unleashing a barrage of blows, ending by extending a hand and unleashing a blast of white, celestial energy from it: One of his signature moves, the Celestial Flare. Inferno blocks most of the blows with a cross-arm block, but is forced to take the Celestial Flare full force as it blasts him across the arena.

Flying head-over-heels, Inferno somehow lands on hs feet, regaining his balance, but still sliding backwards a few more feet. after getting his bearings, Inferno spies his target and breathes several balls of flame at kitsun. Kitsun dodges a few of them, or so he thinks, until being slammed in the back by them.

"Damn!! Homing fireballs?!??!"

Suddenly, he smiles an evil grin, as a plan begins to form in his head. Six more fireballs heading his way in rapid succession, Kitsun manages to leap over most of them, being singed by the last one. He spies his target: a gloating Inferno Dragon, sill concentrating on his Homing Hellflame technique. Kitsun dashes towards Inferno, five unnoticed fireballs trailing closely. Inferno opens his eyes in time to see Kitsun in his face! Inferno swings at kitsun, who suddenly uses an unusual tactic, at least unusual to Inferno, leaping over Inferno's head. Unusual, that is, until Inferno is slammed by five of his own fireballs! Intensely scorched by his own technique, he is sent flying into the overhead Kitsun, slamming both into a living tree, which tries to claw and eat them. They both scramble away from the tree, Inferno slower than Kitsun, before regaining their footing.

They glare at each other, breathing deeply, trying to regain their energy, before making a mad dash at each other. Suddenly, Kitsun simply vanishes.

Wildly searching for his opponent, Inferno screams, "Coward!!! Where are you?!!"

A glow illuminates Infeno's vision, and he looks up to see what is causing the greenish glow: Kitsun charging a large ball of green-and-violet energy!

Too little, too late, as Infeno desperately fires a ball of Homing Hellfire at Kitsun, before kitsun unleashes his other technique: "Celestial Nova!!!"

The ball of celestial energy consumes the fireball before continuing on a direct course toward Inferno Dragon. He moves too late, as the ball hits not two feet behind him, absorbing him in a massive explosion.

Inferno barely maintains standing as Kitsun lands. The strange voice speaks again: "FINISH HIM!"

Not questioning the voice, Kitsun pulls out his 500 lb. mallet and brings it down with extreme force on Inferno's head, nailing him into the ground like a stake.

"WHACKALITY! KITSUN WINS!"

[Crazy Elf Boy]

http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r10/tomovuk/stickfighters_av.gif

I am the white one and Shinypkmchaser is the black one

HAHAHAHA ENJOY YOU WHACKING :lemoncool:

[Captn_BooZe]

first i would like to thank CEB for whacking Shinypkmchaser like that ....

second i whack blademaster ,,,,,,,,, wit the Yu-Gi-is a hoe card Desitny Hero - Blade Master,


u got whacked by urself

ENJOY UR WACKING

[Shadow Wolf]

Does this whack look familiar?

*Enemy: Jeff

Action: GF: Eden

...

Eternal Breath:

"Fade to black. We see an object with major static distortion as if on TV. The screen turns off. In space, we see a green vertical wireframe cylinder with TV monitors on its inside wall. Eden is also inside the cylinder. Our vision changes to Eden's point of view as it hurtles down the cylinder toward a light. On the battlefield, a light appears in the sky. A massive shadow descends over the area, followed by Eden.

Jeff is surrounded in complete darkness, as glowing neon rings emerge from beneath it. Another wireframe plane forms below Jeff. The background is swirling plasma. The grid rocks and oscillates, and begins to curl upwards. The whole plane eventually forms another cylinder around Eden, this time horizontally. Jeff is standing upside down on its inside, directly above a large eye-like laser on Eden. There is a massive build up, and the laser fires.

We switch to view the whole planet as the image spreads over it. It ends up forming a large circle, with twelve smaller circles around it. Each of the smaller circles contains a Roman numeral, so the end result is like an neon clock of archaic symbols. It begins to rotate. We see the side of the Earth. This image is apparently mirrored on the other side, but is not aligned. After a while, the two images are aligned and there is a large click. We return to the enemy, still standing upside down on the centre of the symbol. It begins to stretch away from Eden. Back to the view of the planet. The wireframe grid beneath the imagery can now be seen, and it is now a sphere. The grid begins to distort and part of it shoots off to infinity, as if the planet were hanging in a net bag. Eden's laser, and Jeff, are shot along the asymptote and out into space. More symbols appear at regular intervals, with their centres on the laser.

We track Jeff as he rides the laser until it collides with the centre of a galaxy. The laser vanishes. The centre of the galaxy expands in a large purple ball, spewing purple sparks. It grows to half of the size of the galaxy, then glows white hot. The battlefield returns, and Jeff falls back to the ground, defeated."*

[kitsun]

Hey Crazy Elf Boy...

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FREINDS!!!

* kitsun first throws a heavy array of proximity mines around CEB, making it impossible for him to move. then, Kitsun pulls out his snilper rifle and begins to shoot CEB in various places, causing extreme pain but not any real damage. Until,of course, CEB gets too close to a proxy and they start to go off. One by one, he is blown back and forth until they are all detonated. Weakly, CEB somehow manages to stand. Kitsun then throws one last proxy, planting it on CEB's chest, the metal pins firing deep into CEB's chest.

"Aw, sh-!"

"KA-BOOM!!!

I don't think I have to go into detail...

You have been whacked, FPS style.

[Inferno_Dragon]

*walks up to Captn_BooZe and pulls out a chainsaw. Then uses it to slice Captn_BooZe in half. Then pulls out several TNT and stuffs both halves and walks a quite distance away and hits the detonation button. Then watches as both halves explode.*

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*Produces the Moon Scepter and flings it at Hinoryu* >_>; alas, triple posting is painful

I was going to post a Sailor Moon whack. Mods, delete this post if it's unoriginal.

Magmar has arrived in Finland. When travelling in Haapavesi, Magmar gets caught in a time machine sending Magmar to year 2003. Magmar finds himsel (or herself?) in Haapavesi library, and sees Mikachu Yukitatsu dating a red-haired girl (his only date in his life). Mikachu Yukitatsu says something to the girl, who then walks to Magmar.

The girl produces a normal-looking black pencil and shouts:

MAAAAARITIN KRISTALLIVOIMAA MEIKKI PÄÄLLE!

Before Magmar gets a translation,

MAAAAARIT CRYSTAL POWER MAKE UP!!

Maarit says:

I'm the BiShooJoSenShi of Ai and Seigi, Sailor Maarit! Mikachu Yukitatsu has asked me to punish you in the name of a random planet because you posted the Sailor Moon whack before him! MAARIT AQUA MIRAGE!!

[mr_pikachu]

The cast of Whack-a-TPMer woke up one at a time, slowly and groggily, to find themselves in a schoolroom they'd never seen before.

"Good morning, class," said mr_pikachu once everyone awoke. "Your regular teacher is... indisposed, so I'll be your substitute teacher today."

Blademaster cast a sideways glance toward Hypotenuse Man at the desk next to his. "Since when did we have a teacher?" he whispered to his acquaintance.

"Since when was this even a class?" Hypotenuse Man whispered back.

"I haven't been in a school since I dropped out of kindergarten when I was 11," Blademaster whispered. "I think we ought to just go."

"Yeah," responded Hypotenuse Man. "We just need to rush the guy, beat him senseless, and make our exit. So when I count to three--"

In one smooth, lightning-quick motion, mr_pikachu grabbed a pen from his desk and flung it across the room where it lodged in Hypotenuse Man's forehead. The student's head lolled back as his lips twitched, the end of his sentence forever stuck in his throat. Blademaster could only scream in terror as he stared at the trickle of blood running down the face of his neighbor.

Hypotenuse Man. Executed for whispering.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

hmmm...

Seeing Hypotenuse Man's forehead being gouged by a pen, Crazyelfboy lept up from his chair and flew towards mr_Pikachu. Producing a large double edged blade from nowhere (Isn't that always the way ay, big swords from nowhere) he tried to swipe mr_pikachu, but he dodged leaving Crazyelfboy to fly into a wall.
Picking himself up off the ground he ran for the teachers desk and picked up two large staplers, then once again charged at mr_pikachu. Jumping over the top of mr_pikachu, Crazyelfboy revealed the two staplers from his pockets.

*Staple*
*Slam*
*Ching*
*kapow*
*BANG*
*Sting*
*Metal*
*COW*
*WAIT WHAT WAS THE LAST ONE?*
*MORE STAPLE*

After these generic fighting noises had finished mr_pikachu fell to the ground with a thud covered in two inch staples, blood dripping from every wound. Crazyelfboy rose and dusted off his hands calmy saying
"Schools out for summer.......Schools out for ever"

[Blademaster]

"I haven't been in a school since I dropped out of kindergarten when I was 11," Blademaster whispered.

Hey! Damn it, I didn't drop out of kindergarten until I was 13! :mad: Get your facts straight before you speak, ya nimrod!

(takes out his frustration on Mikachu by spearing him in the eyes with a katakama)

[Magmar]

JEFF used WHACK!
Foe MAGMAR fainted!

JEFF gained 300 EXP. points!

I am worth far more than 3009 Exp. Points, Mister! :p

*Produces Spiral Heart Moon Rod*

Moooooooooooon *doo doo doo doo doo DAAAAA* moon moon moon moon moon moono ooooooooooooooosailor moooonnnnnnnnnn da ada da da da da daaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Takes aim at Blademaster*

Mooooooooooon spiiiiralllll heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaartttt attaaaaaaaaaack!

*Hearts, ribbons and pretty things pelt Blademaster in the face*

"I, Sailor Moon, have punished you in the name of the moon! ...oh yeah, Whack!!"

*Magmar takes off the miniskirt and scampers off, giggling*:D

[mr_pikachu]

The students all surrounded mr_pikachu, whose face had smeared blood all across the tiled floor. His arms were bent unnaturally underneath his body, while his left knee had completely shattered.

"Is he dead?" whispered Captn_BooZe.

It was the last mistake he would ever make. Two of mr_pikachu's fingers twitched on instinct alone, sending a straightened paper clip straight through the child's right eye and into the back of his skull.

"No... talking in... class," mr_pikachu choked, spitting out several mouthfuls of blood before his earlier whacking finally took effect.

[Inferno_Dragon]

*teleports Mikachu Yukitatsu into Invader's Zim houses. After meeting Gir who is totally useless, Mikachu Yukitatsu decides that it is safe. Until Mikachu Yukitatsu meets Zim. Zim is curious about this human and decides to have fun with him. He experiments on him several times then teleports Mikachu Yukitatsu to the room with a Moose. Mikachu Yukitatsu gets so freaked out that he runs around in circles panicing so much that his/her head explodes.*

WHACKAGE!

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Mikachu Yukitatsu gets so freaked out that he runs around in circles panicing so much that his/her head explodes.* WHACKAGE!

I think I have done that in real life... And I haven't checked your genders, but at least you should have read that I dated a girl...now what does that tell about me?

And then, am I stealing again? I don't know if mr_pikachu has watched a certain film or read the original book, but as he already took the classroom scene, I'll extend.

In the start of the new millenium, the whole country collapsed.

15% of the nation, 10,000,000 people unemployed.

800,000 students boycott schools.

The grown-ups lost their hope, and, being afraid of the young, they pushed through an educational reform.

The educational reform of the new millenium, so-called BR-reform.

"Jinsei wa geemu desu. Kono kuni wa sukkari dame natte shimaimashita. Tomodachi wa minasan ni chotto korosarete moraimasu (or something?)."

"Life is a game. This country has become all useless. I'll have you all killing your friends."

That's what Kitano, the teachers said. Jeff and his 39 classmates, found themselves in a classroom, with strange necklaces on their neck. The teacher introduced them two exchange students, Kawada-kun and Mikachu Yukitatsu.

Kitano shows them a video which tells that the students have 3 days time limit to kill one another. If not, all the necklaces will be blown up.

Soon all the students are sent outside with their weapons. As Kitano relaxes, he reciecves a message: Jeff's gang has caught Mikachu Yukitatsu. The next scene takes place on a shore. Mikachu Yukitatsu is surrounded by Jeff and his friends.

One of them, Sasagawa, takes a fan from Mikachu's bag, saying: "Nan da, kore?" "What's this?"

Another one, Tsukioka, points a pistol at Mikachu: "You are Kitano's agent!"

Numai, a friend of Jeff, too, says: "You are trying to make us kill one another."

Kanai, the only girl in the group, states: "You should speak the truth now."

"Do you hear us?" Jeff yells pushing a machine gun on Mikachu's forehead.

Mikachu Yukitatsu tries to spit on Jeff's face, but fails as usually. Jeff gets angry and is hitting Mikachu with the gun, but Mikachu grabs it and shoots the party!

Mikachu Yukitatsu takes the guns and grenades from the dead, leaving only a useless nunchaku there.

Boys 9 Jeff 10 Sasagawa 14 Tsukioka 17 Numai

Girl 5 Kanai

dead

[Nokori sanjuusannin]

[33 left]

Note that I whacked only one TPMer here!!

EDIT:


2) No Backwhacks: you cannot whack a person that has whacked you until they have been whacked.

I don't know if I got this rule right, perhaps you could give me an example.

[mr_pikachu]

So I'm not the only one here who's read the Koushun Takami classic...

*mummifies darktyranitar in duct tape and pushes him down an endless set of stairs in a visually deceptive painting*

[darktyranitar]

Mr_pikachu noted that he had just got a PM. It was from darktyranitar, and it was titled "10".

Without further thought, mr_pikachu opened the PM, and suddenly, his computer monitor changed into a blank screen.

"What the hell?" mr_pikachu was about to turn off the monitor when the screen blinked, replaced with the words, "Bellossom is a ten word Pokemon..." going on and on... and in the background, a continous beeping was heard.

Mr_pikachu couldn't move, he couldn't even turned away from his PC! He couldn't take it anymore, he had to do something to end this... Finally able to gain control of his body, he closed his eyes and tried to block out the words, but they were floating inside his head! Uttering an ear-piercing scream, he banged his head on the PC until he couldn't do it anymore. And even then, the words were still floating in his head.

On the screen, the words began to disappear, replaced with one word: WHACKED!

[Jeff]

Jeff saw Mr. Pika's post and was planning on whacking him only to find out DT beat him to the punch (so to speak). To vent his anger he went around the Internet to find every 10-11 year old pokemon fan, puts darktyranitar in a room with them and tells them that darktyranitar supports AdvanceShipping.

Edit:

Jeff then realizes he was about to break the rule of three, so he saves darktyranitar from the raging Pokeshippers and sets them on kitsun instead for coming up with that rule :P

[mr_pikachu]

Boy, I love being backwhacked...

*challenges Mikachu Yukitatsu to a game of rock, paper, scissors*

*loses*

*beats Mikachu Yukitatsu over the head with a shovel*

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

mr_pikachu, I only watched the film. But I would like to get the book somewhere. Also this whack involves books...

*Prints all the topics from TPM, makes a book of them and throws it on shinypkmnchaser*

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Crazyelfboy picks up a large cinder block and attaches to Mikachu Yukitatsu's feet, picks him (or her, giggle) and throws him (or her, giggle) into a large pool of water.*

*Puts on a giant Chef hat

"Put in a ton of grenades and just throw them into the water, then dump a bucket of piranha in. Throw in some cyanide, arsenic and plutonium. Also add a smidgen of rats, lions, tigers, and for no reason a pickel. Then bring to the boil using a large amount of radiation heat"

*Puts on a pair of goggles*

"Now you are ready to serve a WHACKED Mikachu Yukitatsu. Thanks for watching tune in next time, where we will be serving up TPMer but i cant tell you who"

BTW Mikachu Yukitatsu i knaw what your gender is......tehe

[Shadow Wolf]

Costume Battle

Super Sudden Death!

shinypkmnchaser in a Ness costume

Inferno_Dragon in a Samus costume(I know Samus is a woman, but it's just the armor)

Arena: Final Destination

"Ready, Go!"

Inferno sets up a Charged Shot, while shinypkmnchaser gets a little closer to Inferno. Finally, Inferno launches the Fully Charged Shot, but shinypkmnchaser uses the Gutsy Bat to hit back the Charged Shot. With no time to set up the shield, the shot hits Inferno, launching him into the sky.

"BAM"

Inferno hits the front of the screen and then falls.

"Game"

"This game's winner is...shinypkmnchaser"

[kitsun]

I wonder who has heard of Hsu and Chan?

*kitsun calls up his good friends, Hsu and Chan, and has them send a few "experiments." 2.5 seconds later, courtesy of ACME Shipping, A large crate shows up on the charred battlefield of Whack-a-TPMer, near kitsun. the crate opens up, and out pop Gila Mobster, A red lizard wearing a mobster hat and holding a zippo lighter; Chernobyl, the radioactive chipmunk; Uselessbug, t cheap Metapd knockoff with no purpose whatsoever; and Chiasaur, a Bulbasaur with a chia fern growing out of it's back. (Better visual aids here (http://www.spookingtons.com/hcpocketmoronsplatinum001.html))

"Only need one of you: Chernobyl, give mr_pikachu a big hug, then Meltdown. In about 10 minutes."

Kitsun runs and finds a deep hole to hide in while Chenobyl merrily skips off.

Moments later...

KER-BOOM

A cookie if you can find mr_pikachu's charred remains.

[Blademaster]

Uh... I found his cane. Does that count? :heh:

Anyway, on with the whacking...



-----------------------------


Mega Horny and CuleX face each other down from across a desert clearing beneath a sky full of black clouds, a pair of silver pentagons strapped to their right wrists.

Before Mega Horny stands a tall, bald, blue-skinned demoness with stitched skin, like Frankenstein's (2200/2800), a huge, twisted humanoid with tangled hair and huge wings, weilding a horrible sword (2700/1500), a bulging purple demon with a cobalt cape and a gaping, fanged maw (3000/2100), a green-skinned demon in royal attire holding a wine glass in his hand (2450/1600), and a 20-foot, blood-red shadow with a sinister grin, yellow eyes, and razor sharp claws (2800/3000). Behind the demon army are 5 dark rectangles that seem to be silently waiting for CuleX to make a wrong move...

A glowing box over Mega Horny's head displays the number 11400.

Across the dusty earth stands CuleX, who has absolutely nothing standing between him and Mega Horny's army of hellish beasts.

Another glowing box hovers above CuleX's head, depicting the number 200.

"Draw your last pathetic card so I can end this, CuleX." Mega Horny taunts his opponent.

"My deck has no pathetic cards, Mega." CuleX replies, drawing. "Except maybe for Spirit of the Pot of Greed... But it also has THIS!"

He holds up his hand of five cards.

"The unstoppable Exodia!!"

"AAAAAAAGH!! IMPOSSIBLE!!" Mega cries out as a huge portal open over his opponent's head, out of which lumbers a massive, humanoid golem made of solid gold, with broze chains around his wrists and ankles, a long green goatee, and a striped headdress capped with a golden cobra. The titan hisses as its red eyes flare to life and it looms over its miniscule opponents! (∞/∞)

"Exodia...! It's not possible!" Mega Horny squawks, sweat pouring down his face. "Nobody's ever been able to figure out how to summon him!"

"Nobody but me..." CuleX replies with a smug grin. "Now, Exodia, OBLITERATE!"

Exodia conjures a golden orb of light energy in his massive hands, then hurls at across the field; it engulfs Mega Horny's Monsters, blowing them to bits, then it absorbs his face-down cards, burning them to ash, and then it consumes Mega Horny himself.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

When the smoke and dust finally clear, Not a trace remains of Mega Horny or his Monsters - all that's left is a massive crater.

CuleX stands silently for a moment, then looks up at Exodia.

"So," he asks the giant, "now what?"

Exodia shrugs.

"I dunno." the titan replies in a deep voice, shrugging. "Wanna go to Burgers 'R' Us?"

"Sweet!"



----------------------------


Mega Horny, you have been whacked.

By Exodia. :hellyeah:

Next!

[Hinoryu]

Wow, Blademaster, after a show like that, I have only one response.

*pastes an Anti-4kids sign onto Kaiba's God Briefcase and beats Blademaster over the head with it.*

[Crazy Elf Boy]

I really dont feel like going into much detail today

Picks up a compass and sticks it into Hinoryu's eye

*boredly* hahahah take that

[Seeker_of_Truth]

I like senseless violence. I think I'll give this game a try XD

---

As Crazy Elf Boy walks smugly away from his successful wack, he suddenly hears an engine revving to life. He spins around only to find himself facing down the largest steamroller he has ever seen before in his life. Maning the monstrosity is TPMs newest denizen, Seeker_of_Truth, who laughs evilly as he stares down at the insect before him.

"Time to die, you pointy-eared freak!" shouts the crazed Seeker as he puts the steamroller into gear and begins lurching it toward Crazy Elf Boy.

With a shout a pure terror, Crazy Elf Boy starts running for his life. Slowly, he begins to gain ground on the steamroller of doom until it seems like me might get away. Seeker, however, only laughs more manaically.

"Think it's going to be that easy, do you? Think again!" Seeker cries as he presses a buttom marked 'Overdrive'.

Suddenly, a large jet of flame shoots from the back of the steamroller, sending it careening toward Crazy Elf Boy at an astonoshing speed. Knowing his escape is inevitable, the doomed TPMer turns and screams his death scream as the massive mechanical beast draws nearer. Each second becomes an eternity for Crazy Elf Boy as his life slowly flashes before his eyes. He knows that this is the day he will die.
At the last possible second, the steamroller comes to a screeching halt, the roller meer inches from Crazy Elf Boy. Confused yet somewhat relieved, Crazy Elf Boy looks up at steamrollers driver. Seeker simply grins evilly as he dramitcally presses yet another button.
A hidden latch on the roller creaks upon right in front of Crazy Elf Boy, who cautiously looks inside. Without any warning, a large boxing glove projectile shoots out of the opening and whacks Crazy Elf Boy square in the face, knocking him out.

Seeker laughs and laughs then laughs some more before finally growing bored and driving away in his steamroller... right over the prone body of Crazy Elf Boy.

----

There you go, I hope you enjoyed my first whack. There will be others, I assure you :D

[Inferno_Dragon]

Now it is your turn, Seeker_of_Truth.

*teleports Seeker_of_Truth to the Galaxy Angel Station. Seeker_of_Truth is surrounded by all the female characters. He is happy. Seeker_of_Truth approaches Vanilla and hugs her that it is until Normad gets upset.

"How dare you touch my sweet Vanilla." Normad shouts in his animal costume.

Normad somehow turns into a missile and fires himself at Seeker_of_Truth. There is a smal explosion and Seeker_of_Truth is left lying on the ground. Vanilla checks Seeker_of_Truth's pulse.

"Is all right?" Milfeulle asks.

"He is just knocked out." Vanilla says.

"That is great but wait ... what is this?" Commander Volcott O'Huey says while pulling something out of one of Seeker_of_Truth's pockets.

"It is the lost technology." Forte says.

"He has been hiding all along." Mint exclaims.

"Isn't that a crime?" Rampha asks.

"Nope, it is perfectly legal ... but what was is this?" Vanilla says surprised.

They find Mint's costume, Rampha's book of sexy men, Milfeulle's cookbook, one of Forte's guns, Volcott's chessboard and Vanilla's personal jewel.

"He's a Thief!!" They all shout.

Vanilla whacks Seeker_of_Truth with Normad. Mint uses her Chicken Costume which uses a flamethrower. Rampha whacks him over his head with her Crystal Ball. Milfeulle smacks him with an entire oven. Volcott tasers him and Forte shoots Seeker_of_Truth up with a thousand bullets. Seeker_of_Truth is left on the floor bleeding to death.

"We should give him a proper burial." Mint says.

"Let's just throw him out the airlock." Forte says.

And they do just that.

"Too bad he was a sexy guy." Rampha says.

You have been whacked by the cast of Galaxy Angel, Seeker_of_Truth

[kitsun]

Decisions, decisions...

You gave me an uber-fake replica tha cot me 1,000,000, but you wished me not to be broke, Inferno. However, You kenw that wish would be twisted, so I am forced to Whack you without Inhibition.

*kitsun draws the plastic Buster Sword replica and flings it at Inferno's head, hitting him squarely, knocking him unconscious.

Several failed lobotomies later...

"So, Inferno, about that Buster Sword..."

Inferno is capable of nothing more than drooling.

"That's what I thought..."


You have been brain-whacked!

-----------------------

Just a friendly reminder, Whack-A-TPMer, round 1, ends on page 4. This means the first whack on page 4 will be counted but no others on that page. Then I will begin tallying whacks and accepting nominations for "Whackiest Whack." Nominations are counted as a nomination, then seconding the nomination. You cannot nominate or second yourself. After there are 5 seconded nominations, voting shall begin, via PM to myself, and shall end 1 week after voting begins. At that point, I shall post the winners of the awards, and a scoreboard to let everyone know how they did. At a future date, I would like to set up an IM session to get some feedback from everyone. (Likes, dislikes, rules to change, remove, or add, ideas to make the game better, etc...) Please let me know if this is feasable.

Round 2 shall begin after the Awards Ceremony. Thank you for your time and for making this game a success, at least in my eyes.

[Shadow Wolf]

...I'm bored! I want to watch some wrestling.

*shinypkmnchaser sets up a match between Mega Horny and The Great Khali. Khali hits MH with an Overhead Chop, knocking him out cold, then Khali pins him*

MH has been whacked, WWE style, but I'm still bored!

[mr_pikachu]

Question: What settings are you using to count the pages, kitsun? Because I have it set to 20 posts per page, so my screen shows that we're already on page 5. Hence why I haven't whacked someone in awhile... I thought the game was done aside from score-counting.

*angrily staples Mikachu Yukitatsu to a bulletin board*


EDIT: Awesome use of Galaxy Angel, Inferno!


EDIT2: Why did I read the wrong name next to the GA sketch?

[Inferno_Dragon]

You are up to bat, mr_pikachu.

*teleports mr_pikachu into a dark classroom (unlike the one mentioned in previous posts above. I appear in the room looking like a half human, half dragon and half werewolf creature. I smiled at mr_pikachu.*

"Let's see how smart you are, mr_pikachu." I say.

*I toss a 90 page test on mr_pikachu's desk. He grins but acts nervously.*

"To be fair, I will give you 2 hours to complete the test. You may begin." I say while smiling."

*mr_pikachu picks up the test and starts to answer the first question. The question is how would you like to be whacked;
A) Have a 500-Ton Anvil dropped on you
B) Having your worst nightmares attack you
C) Falling down into a bottomless pit
D) Being friends with Billy and Mandy
E) Your Choice.

*What is the deal with D, mr_pikachu thinks. Well, it sounds the least dangerous and mr_pikachu marks off D. Suddenly, Billy and Mandy appear in the room.*

"Hey mr_pikachu, I need you to do my laundary." Mandy says.

"And Milkshake needs all her shots." Billy says.

"I'd rather be dead." mr_pikachu says.

"Suits yourself. Grim!" Mandy yells.

*The Grim Reaper appears with his scyther and with a one flick of the scythe, your body falls to the floor. All three smile at me and disappear. I walk over to the test mr_pikachu was working on.*

"They always choose D since they think it sounds less harmless. Oh what fools these mortals be." I smile as I fade into the darkness.

WHACKED by ignorance, mr_pikachu.

[Seeker_of_Truth]

That wasn't me using Galaxy Angel, Mr Pikachu. That was Inferno Dragon. I've never even heard of Galaxy Angel :P . In actuality, I was the insane guy with the steamroller.

Speaking of Inferno Dragon.. well, revenge is a dish best served on the basketball court...

-----
The crowd goes wild as some nameless goon on Inferno Dragon's team nails a 3-pointer despite two man coverage. Seeker curses to himself as he looks up at the scoreboard. The Dragons lead the Seekers 91 to 90 with only a minute left to play. Inferno Dragon enjoys a round of laughing and gloating as Seeker concocts a scheme that will achieve victory for his team.

The ref hands the ball to a Seeker player, who tosses it between the out-stretched hands of a Dragon player to Seeker himself. Seeker dribbles up the court, dodging left to avoid a Dragon at half court. As he approaches the basket, Inferno Dragon is there to meet him. Seeker glances up at the clock: 40 seconds.

"It's time I show you something, Inferno." Seeker says with a grin, "It's called the 'Seeker_of_Truth Shakin' Bacon'." Inferno Dragon only stares determined at his adversary, sensing victory only moments away.

"To start, you're going to think I'm gonna go left," Seeker begins then pauses, "so I give you left!" Seeker makes a quick shift to the left, Inferno sticking to him like glue as Seeker returns to his original position. A quick glance at the clock shows 25 seconds remaining.

"Next," continues Seeker, "you might think I'll go right..." Without a word, Seeker moves right. Inferno is still able to keep with him as Seeker once again returns to where he was, a smile growing on his face even as the clock winds down to 15 seconds.

"Now comes the fun part," taunt Seeker, "Here, you think I'm going to go left again.... but what I'm really gonna do is..." Suddenly, Seeker dribbles the ball between Inferno's legs and slips passed to the right. Seeker drives to the goal and slams dunks the ball just as the end game buzzer sounds.

The crowd erupts into cheers as Seeker's teammates put him up on their shoulders. The ref hands Seeker the largest trophy ever seen, which he holds precariously above his head, soaking in the glory of the moment.

As the Seekers celebrate, Inferno approaches them as stoic as can be managed and looks up at Seeker. "So,' Inferno begins, trying to his the disappointment, "how's the air up there?"

Seeker grins evilly before suddenly whacking Inferno Dragon full force in the head with the championship trophy. "Damn find, really" he states as his team carries him off the court.

----

Brownie point for the person who can guess what movie this was inspired by and who the star of that movie was. Hint: the name of the movie is used in the Whack :D

[kitsun]

My settings are at 40 posts per page. So I suppose the new cutoff ispost 121. This means all whacks up to and including post 121, barring rule breakages, shall be tallied. The rules post shall be edited to reflect this change. Sorry for the confusion.


--------------

Ok, who shall I whackify next?
I guess, Seeker_of_Truth is next.
Kitsun says "I am going to kill you with a tin tea-cup."
Seeker_of_Truth laughs in Kitsuns' face, making Kitsun angry.
"What, you don't think I can?"
Kitsun slams the cup down, making the rim of the cup sharp and pointy.
Kitsun then throws the cup into the air, jumps up and kicks the cup deep into Seeker_of_Truth's chest, striking his heart, & killing him instantly.

"Told you so!"

Seeker_of_Truth: WHACKED BY A TIN TEA-CUP!!!!!

[Shadow Wolf]

Time to be very brief...

*breaks an electric guitar on Hinoryu's head*

Show's over.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

well what the hell here is a picture to demonstrate what i mean

Bye bye shinypkmnchaser

http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r10/tomovuk/th180pxricki1os.gif

[darktyranitar]

Crazy Elf Boy looked out of his window. He noticed a figure on a building about tweny feet from his place. He squinted his eyes, and realized that it was darktyranitar, carrying a sniper rifle with him.

The shot was fired, but the bullet harmlessly bounced off the window.

CEB stuck out his tongue at dt. "I know someone might try to shoot me, so I brought a bullet proof window! Nyah ,nyah!"

"How about this?" dt asked, firing off a bazooka.

BOOM! You've been whacked! Next time, get yourself a missile-proof window!

[Inferno_Dragon]

Your turn up to bat, kitsun.

You are up to bat, mr_pikachu.

*teleports kitsun into a dark classroom, like the same room that mr_pikachu appears in.. I appear in the room looking like my multi-hybrid form that appears in It Sucks to be Us. I smiled at kitsun.*

"mr_pikachu didn't fare well, let's see how you do." I say.

*I toss a 30 page test on kitsun's desk. He grins but acts nervously.*

"To be fair, I will give you 2 hours to complete the test. You may begin." I say while smiling."

*kitsun picks up the test and answers every question. He then arrives at the final question, the same question that mr_pikachu answered. It reads;
How would you like to be whacked?
A) Have a 500-Ton Anvil dropped on you
B) Having your worst nightmares attack you
C) Falling down into a bottomless pit
D) Being friends with Billy and Mandy
E) Your Choice.

*I know that mr_pikachu chose D and he got whacked by the Grim Reaper. E sounds better because I know it will allow me to choose my own Whacking. Marks the E Choice.*

*I walk over to the test area but then Joey Wheeler runs in the room with a piece of paper.*

"I am sorry there has been a misprint. E was supposed to read Teacher's Choice but ... " Joey says but I cut him off.

"Where is Kaiba? You know he is supposed to keep you from doing these dumb things." I say while tapping my foot.

"Dueling" Joey says quietly.

"I am sorry, I couldn't hear you! What was that?" I asked.

"He is dueling." Joey shouts.

"KAIBA!" I yell.

*Seto Kaiba appears with his duel disc with all three Blue Eyes White Dragons on it. He turns around and looks at me. I am furious.*

"I am sorry but ... " Kaiba says

"No buts Kaiba. You were supposed to make sure that Wheeler here doesn't make a mistake. Now I will have to go to distract measures."

"But I have a ... " Kitsun says but I interrupt.

*I take a shinking machine and shrink him to the size of a pea. Then I take the test kitsun was working on a drop it on him. We hear a squishing sound. I pull out the Millennium Rod and force it towards Kaiba plus Joey. Both of them run out of the room.*

"Sigh you can't find good help these days." I say.

*I look at the mess at kitsun's desk. I dial a number.*

"Yugi, clean-up in room 666." I say.

kitsun, you have been squish-whacked.

'

[kitsun]

Little did darktyranitar know, as he was assassinating CEB, kitsun had been creeping closer and closer, for a stealthy whack. kitsun reaches into his cloak and in a flash...

SQUEAK-Y

kitsun's sqeaky mallet bounces harmlessly off of dt's head. Slowly, dt turns around, and stares at kitsun like he is an idiot. dt whips out a pistol and points it at kitsun's head. *click*

"Wha...?" *clickclickclick*

Kitsun pulls out the pistol magazines out of his pocket. "Looking for these?"
Kitsun throws them in two random directions as he reaches into his cloak once again, this time pulling out his real 500 lb. mallet (Yes, I like my mallet).

Kitsun swings a powerful uppercut swipe, connecting squarely on dt's chin. dt flies some 30 feet into the air before descending, where he again intimately meets "Ol' Smashy" in a sideways swing. dt flies 1700 feet before disappearing into the distance. Kitsun leans on "Ol' Smashy" while shielding his eyes from the sun with his left hand.

"Yep. Won't see him for a while. On to another smashing."

---------------

darktyranitar: Going, going... Gone!!

[Blademaster]

I'm in a pissed-off mood... Time to release some anger. Hostel-style...



------------------------


Seeker_of_Truth wakes up strapped to a gourney, thick leather straps binding him by the wrists, ankles, waist, and neck. A bright light shines directly in his face, like that of a dentist's office...

If the poor bastard only knew...

Seeker tries to say something, but he quickly realizes he can't - a thick layer of duct tape has been wrapped around his mouth.

'Oh, my God...' he thinks, his heart pounding. 'Where am I!?'

Slowly, the door across the room opens; a figure entirely concealed by a black hooded cloak enters and produces a table lined with surgeon's tools.

"Hello, Seeker." the voice says in an evil, emnotionless voice. "I'll make this brief: My name is CuleX, and you are about to die slowly and painfully, for no apparent reason."

Seeker's eyes bug out as he hears this and the one called CuleX grabs a scalpel. Deftly, the robed figure presses it just deep enough into Seeker's stomach so that it pierces the skin and flesh while leaving the organs underneath undamaged. Dark red fluid seeps from the wound, increasing in volume as CuleX slits clear across Seeker's belly. The strapped man can do nothing but squirm and utter muffled groans of agony as his stomach is sliced open like a ripe orange.

Then, CuleX makes two perpendicular incisions at either end of the primary one, his icy eyes showing no sign of remorse despite the utterances of horror and anguish filling his ears due to the sideways 'I'-shaped gashes in his skin and flesh. CuleX then proceeds to 'unfold' the severed flesh from Seeker's stomach, exposing the newer forum member's internal organs to the light as though he were opening a set of double doors.

By this point, tears are streaming down Seeker's face as CuleX replaces the scalpel and then, using a pair of foreceps, grasps the end of Seeker's large intestine and pulls the entire intestinal tract free, yanking it inch by excruciating inch fom Seeker's body like some gruesome perversion of a magician's never-ending handkerchiefs.

When the intestines have been pulled to their limits, CuleX reaches in and lifts up Seeker's stomach; a quick slash of his scalpel partially severs the organ from the intestines, the former of which begins to spurt out a steady stream of hydrochloric acid. With ninjalike speed, CuleX directs the acidic flow into Seeker's semi-severed intestines, causing them to begin to corrode and boil with a sickening hissing sound.

Under his mask of tape, Seeker screams in unbridaled agony as his intestines are melted by his own stomach acid before his eyes. The helpless TPM'er's eyes roll back in his head as he begins to vomit... Oh, wait, he can't anymore.


[ONE HOUR LATER]

Mundane details aside, CuleX has finally grown bored of his 'playmate,' whose new critical injuries include a pair of shattered and re-shattered kneecaps, a few sawed-off ribs poking up through the tattered remains of Seeker's liver, left kidney, pancreas, gallbladder, right kidney, and stomach, a pile of ashes where Seeker's genitalia used to be, and a severed lung that has been stretched over the barely-conscious man's head like some type of sick hairnet. His cheeks stained with tears and his upper lip stained with blood from his nose, Seeker's eyes are glazed and half-closed; the only sound eminating from his prone carcass is a hollow breathing noise, which is now being emitted through a short length of rubber hose inserted through a small slit in his neck and directly into his throat.

"Well," CuleX sighs, "you've lasted far longer than I expected, Seeker... But I'm tired of this game now. Which means, you can leave, and I'll even give you a consolation prize for playing."

And just like that, CuleX unties the tape around Seeker's mouth and undoes his straps.

"Now, what prize would you like?" CuleX asks, sounding somewhat happy for the first time since the start of this 'game.'

"Kill..... me......" Seeker whispers weakly.

CuleX pauses.

"Funny," he muses, rubbing his chin, "that's the same prize almost everyone else who's played has requested... Oh, well. So you want it; so you shall get it."

With that, CuleX claps his hands once; a massive hole in the floor opens beside the gourney, revealing a hole at least thirty feet deep. At the bottom of said hole is a four-bladed steel propellor, covered in rust-colored stains. Another clap, and the propellor begins to spin, slowly at first, but quickly speeding up to the point that it is just a blur. A third clap, and the gourney Seeker lays on tilts over sideways, allowing Seeker the briefest of glances at the propellor before the gourney dumps him into the pit.

"Nooooo........."

SKLERCH! KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZHHHHHHHH!

A fine red mist issues from the hole before a fourth clap closes it up; the black-clad figure writes something down on a clipboard, then turns and leaves the room; the lights over head flicker, and then turn off, leaving the room in darkness and silence...



----------------------------------


You know, I actually feel better now... :evil:

Next!

[Seeker_of_Truth]

aww.. I was gonna do cluex but he beat me to the punch :(

Oh well.. guess I'll have to whack shinypkmnchaser instead XD

-----

One day, shinypkmnchaser realizes with a start that his bank account is nearly depleted. "Darn it", he says 'I guess those night long benders weren't such a hot idea, after all."

Shiny sits for hours in his favorite thinkin' chair, trying to come up with a brilliant money-making scheme. Suddenly, it comes to him. "Seeker_of_Truth has a lot of money!", he exclaims, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I broke into his house and helped myself to a couple hundred thousand!"

With the matter resolved, shiny packs up some burgling gear: a flashlight, rope, a bunch of plastic bags, duct tape and a hammer, and a gun just in case.

In the wee hours of the morning, shiny pulls up in front of Seeker's house in his black burgling van. Silently, he creeps up to the nearest window and methodically puts duct tape all across it before smashing it, the tape acting as a muffler for the shattering glass.

Shiny hefts himself up onto the sill and into the house, careful not to make any noise. He turns his flashlight on and shines it back and forth revealing a varitable wealth of riches. Shiny gasps in glee as he pulls out his plastic garbage bags and begins stuffing the first one full.

After several minutes of burgling, shiny heres a voice somewhere nearby say "Jesus is watching you..."

Scared out of his wits, shiny spins around and shines his flashlight in every nook and crany of the room. Finding no one there, shiny presumes it was only his imagination and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

After finshing with the first room, which was the wreck room, shiny proceeds into the next room. It turns out to be Seeker's prized library full of books both rare and expensive. Shiny grins to himself and pulls out some more plastic bags and begins to fill them.

Not long afterwards, shiny hears the voice once again, whispering this time, "Jesus is watching you..."

Shiny nearly jumps out of his skin as he scans the room with his flashlight. "Who's there?" he whispers hoarsely. No one answers and he finds no one with the flashlight. This time it takes shiny a little longer to slow down his racing heart. After assuring himself his mind is only playing tricks on him, shiny continues with his plundering.

With bags of books and riches in tow, shiny enters the third and largest room: Seeker's den. It is full of the most beautiful treasures shiny has ever seen in his life. Not wasting any time, shiny whips out the last of his plastic bags and starts stuffing things uncerimoniously into them.

Once again, the voice calls out to shiny "Jesus is watching you..." This time it is more clear and shiny pinpoints the sources in a matter of seconds. Flashing his flashlight in a far corner, shiny finds Seeker standing there watching him with a small smile on his face.

Shiny reaches for the gun at his side.. only to find it isn'tr there. Paniced, shiny searches his entire person for the missing firearm before bringing his eyes back to Seeker.. who has the gun in his left hand, holding it up for shiny to see. "Looking for this?" he asks.

Shiny gulps and feels a lump forming in his throat. In spite of himself, he cant help but ask "W-why do you keep on saying that Jesus is watching me?"

Seeker's smile deepens, "Because," he states simply, "Jesus is watching you."

A full minute drags by like an eternity and nothing else is said or done. Finally, the suspense getting to him, shiny asks "and what kind of person stand around in the dark saying crazy stuff like that while they're being robbed instead of calling the police?"

Seeker doesn't answer immediately. He only grins sinisterly at shiny, who starts to feel a bit like an ant under a magnifying glass. Finally, Seeker answers "Why, the same kind of person that names their giant pit bull Jesus, of course."

Understanding strikes shiny like a slap across the face, his eyes widening in horror. Before he can even make a move, he hears a deep growl emitting from behind him. Shiny only has time to whimper before the 4-foot tall, 200 pound pit bull pounces on him.

One half hour later, Seeker's neighbors spot him dragging a large garbage bag to the curb. The bag is leaking a red liquid that looks suspiciously like blood.
----

There you go. shinypkmnchaser, you have been whacked via giant pit bull. Serves you right for breaking into my private sanctum :P

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Picks up Number 100 post sign and whacks Seeker_Of_Truth with it

hehehehe :lock:<---------- Its a dancing lock

[kitsun]

Ok, CuleX, that was a bit... disturbing.

So I a m forced to take "Ol' Smashy" and-

*WHAM-O*

Kitsun's mallet intersects withe CuleX's own 500 lb. mallet.

"What, you thought you were the only one?" CuleX coolly replies.

A short battle ensues, before kitsun lands a powerful WHACK across CuleX's chest, sending him flying. kitsun walks up to CuleX's battered body and kicks away the mallet. He slowly picks CuleX off the ground, and lands one more solid whack across CuleX's chest, sending him flying a good 500 feet. Kitsun drops his mallet, picks up Culex's mallet, and, spinning round and round, he releases the mallet in CuleX's direction, whacking him one more good time, sending him another 1000 feet.

"You forgot that!!!" kitsun yells tauntingly. Dusting off his hands and mallet, he cloaks the mallet.

"NEXT!!!"

----------------

Blademaster: double whacked with his own mallet. (counts as one whack)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Mega Horny, you are up to bat.

"Finally, the last Dragonball." Mega Horny says while holding in his hand.

*It has taken Mega Horny 3 years to find all of them but he has. It has been a dangerous journey full of perilious villians and life-risking terrians but it has been worth it. Mega Horny puts all of the Dragonballs in the correct order and calls out to Shenlong. Shenlong appears in a wonderful transformation.

"You have summoned with all the Dragonballs. What is your wish?" Shenlong asks.

"I wish to be invincible." Mega Horny says.

"It shall be done." Shenlong says.

Just then a wave of mixed energy flies through the air hitting Mega Horny. Mega Horny doesn't feel any different now but that will all change. He sees a rock and smashes it.

"I am invincible." Mega Horny says.

"Yes, and you are also a moron."

He turns around to see me in all my Dragon Glory standing there leaning up against the rock that he smashes. I point to the rock. Inside the "rock" is a projector and a injection weapon. He starts to get nervous. Then he starts to groin in pain.

"That pain you are feeling is a nasty virus that is eating your insides and sending a nasty shock that should end your life in 3,2,1 ... "

*Mega Horny collapses to the ground with blood coming out of his mouth. I picked up the Dragonballs and remove a spell from them. I put them into a bag and grin.*

"Thanks Mega Horny for finding these for me. I know someone who will pay me millions of dollars to get them for me. And I didn't have to lift a single finger." I said while laughing.

*I walk away in the sunset.*

You have been Whacked, Mega Horny.

[Blademaster]

Ok, CuleX, that was a bit... disturbing.

Then my job has been accomplished.

Now, back to the game...

(checks list)

Hmmm... Six potential whackees... Who's up next...?

(rolls die)

........

(smirk)



-------------------------------------------




Mr_pikachu looks around, a strange look in his eyes as he glances around the room. The walls and ceiling are featureless, and the floor is bare and featureless, made of plain black and white tiles.


Standing around the loved-by-all Moderator at random spots are several men clad in black tuxedos, much like Mr_pikachu's own. A couple of them are rather plain looking men; one, a huge, burly man with a flat head, is glaring straight ahead and another two, who seem rather calm and pious, stare out of the corners of their eyes cautiously at two opposing men.


Of those opposing men, the one in charge seems to be CuleX, who is clad in a white business suit and hat. Standing around him are three smaller men, similar to those on mr_pikachu's team, as well as a pair of sturdy looking men, the target of the gaze of mr_pikachu's two more stoic associates. Standing close to CuleX is a slim, blonde-haired beauty, small in size but grand in stature, clad in a flowing white gown and shoes: the adorable Houndoom_Lover.


Sweat beads on mr_pikachu's forehead, before finally one of the stoic men dashes diagonally across the floor, drawing a small scepter from his hip and strikingone of the knightly men, who barely even flinches before vanishing into thin air.


CuleX simply smirks; the other gentlemanly figure rushes forward, drawing a thin sword as he zigzags up to the flat-headed man and slashes him out of existence.


Mr_pikachu goes pale; one of his smaller men takes a step forward, only to be rushed by Houndoom_Lover and hugged so tightly, he bursts like a balloon. Houndoom_Lover pouts but stands her ground defiantly nonetheless. The second silent man rushes towards her, but before he can reach her, he is ambushed by CuleX himself, who has taken a step foreward and - in classic Blademaster spirit - stuck out his foot and tripped the man, sending him crashing to the floor and cracking his skull before vanishing.


Mr_pikachu gulps and backs up as Houndoom_Lover takes position to 'assault' the remaining figure. The shorter man in black darts out of the way just in time to avoid Houndoom_Lover's deadly glomp, which crushes the peaceful warrior (Huh?) out of the visible plane of... visibility.


Now, mr_pikachu is alone against CuleX, Houndoom_Lover, their remaining soldier, and three confused (and rather bored-looking) smaller men. CuleX silently approaches mr_pikachu, his grin never wavering as his black-clad nemesis backs himself into a corner. Finally, CuleX stands less than a yard from mr_pikachu and with draws from his pocket a large, freshly-smithed dagger, etched into which in barely visible (and rather warped) letters is 'N G M A N R A N D.'


Mr_pikachu's eyes widen in realization, but it is too late - before he can react, CuleX's dagger has buried itself in mr_pikachu's forehead; the Mod's eyes roll back and he utters a choked cry before vanishing a second later.


All traces of blood gone along with his felled opponent, CuleX replaces his still-clean dagger in his pocket and utters but a single, almost inaudible word:


"Checkmate."



--------------------------------------------




Mr_pikachu, you have been made to cosplay, LARP a real-life chess game, and be defeated by me all at once.


In other words, you have been given a third-degree shame-whacking.


Enjoy.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Hypotenuse Man must rerturn to the game...

*Gets his password, logs in as him and SPAMs like no tomorrow. Hypotenuse man gets banned and whacked*

[Seeker_of_Truth]

Oh, oh.. looks like somebodies gonna get whacked!

-----
One day, Seeker_of_Truth is minding his own business while hanging about the Whack-a-TPMer thread when he suddenly hears someone screaming. Turning to exaimine this phenomonon, Seeker sees kitsun running at him full speed with Ol' Smashy raised aboved his head and a battle cry of pure hatred emiting from his throat.

Seeker watches kitsun's approach with mild internest until his would be assailant is only meer feet away. Suddenly, Seeker holds up a hand and cries, "STOP!"

Miraculously, kitsun obeys, coming to a screeching hold one 3 feet away from Seeker. Kitsun looks somewhat flumoxed as to why he has stopped, that obviously not being a part of his plan.

While kitsun mulls this over, Seeker pulls out the tiniest hammer anyone has ever seen from his back packet. Holding it up for kitsun to see, Seeker grins and says, "Hammer Time".

Kitsun cringes from this ridiculous MC Hammer refernece and looks like he's about to vomit. Seeker takes this oppurtunity to chuck the small hammer straight for kitsun's head. Unfortunately, kitsun is much too wiley and deftly thwacks with Ol' Smashy, sending it into the stratusphere.

Sneering evilly, kitsun says "Enough games, time for whacking!" then takes another step toward Seeker, whom looks oddly come for someone about to be whacked.

Suddenly, some movement catches kitsun's eye. Turning his head slightly, kitsun spots a tiny little kitten all dressed up in a little ninja costume. It even has a little pair of nunchucks hung from the little belt wrapped around it's little waist. Kitsun squeels in glee and drops Ol' Smashu, scooping up the adorable ninja kitten, exclaiming "Cutie!" as he holds it up in the air.

Seeker watches patiently as kitsun spots more movement. Turning, he sees two more kittens in ninja costumes sitting there watching him. Kitsun giggles and gollumps over to meet them. Meanwhile, he spots three more ninja kittens approaching from the left and four more from the right. "Om my goodness", kitsun exclaims, "there are so many cuties here, I don't know what to do with all of them!"

"But they know what to so with you," Seeker states matter of factly. Kitsun looks up at Seeker questioningly but only gets a smile in response.

Suddenly, the first kitten jumps out of kitsun's arms and does a 360 spin in mid-air before conncecting a ninja chopy claw slash to kitsun's face.m Kitsun shrieks and tries to back away, only to find he is surrounded by several dozen ninja kittens.

"Say hello to a small portion of my trained army of killer ninja attack kittens," says Seeker with an evil grin. Kitsun wails in terror, dropping to his knees as they give out on him. The ninja kittens approach him ever so slowly before all pouncing in unison.

Screams and kitten snarls fill the entire forum as the ninja kittens do the work they were trained to do. It only takes them two minutes to finish the job. When they part, all that is left of kitsun are three neat piles: one of bone, one of skin, and one of organs. Strangely, there seems to have been no blood spilled whatsoever.

Seeker smiles as he nods his approval, "you did very well, my pets. This was indeed a successful test run. Soon, oh so soon, we shall be ready to conquer the world." Seeker laughs maniacally as he turns and walks away, his army of kittens following happily behind him.
-----

kitsun, you have been whacked via killer ninja attack kittens!

[Inferno_Dragon]

Crazy Elf Boy, you are my next victim.

"Hello, my name is Inferno_Dragon and this is my associate Crazy Elf Boy. We are now going to show you why you must keep the wrist strap on while handling the Wii Remote." I said.

"And what makes you think I will do this?"

*Several hundred dollars later, Crazy Elf Boy and I are standing in front of the Wii with the Wii Remotes in our hands.

"Now, you must tighten them until you might throw them and someone might get hurt." I said.

"Like that has ever happened." Crazy Boy replied.

"We are going to test this by playing Need For Speed: Carbon. Of course we will need the Nunchucks." I say.

*We start the game and select a really long circuit race. It starts out for the first lap and I am winning. I can see Crazy Elf Boy get irrated. As the second lap is about to start, I see a missile fire on screen. Wait, this game doesn't have weapons. And it was fire from Crazy Elf Boy's car. I turn to see Crazy Elf Boy's controller and I see an addition to it.*

"You're cheating!" I yell.

"What are you going to do about?" Crazy Elf Boy says while smirking.

*I grin and take the Nunchuck out of the Wii Remote and start to twirl it. The rope gets longer and longer until it is long enough for me tie Crazy Elf Boy up. And I just do that. While Crazy Elf Boy is trying to escape, I take the Wii Remote and put it on a crossbow. I step far enough away and fire it right at Crazy Elf Boy's head. With the speed of the Wii Remote, it makes a direct impact on Crazy Elf Boy's head. In fact it goes through the head and makes impact with the brain causing severe damage. I start to look at match to see how long this will last and after six seconds, Crazy Elf Boy falls down.

"That's why you keep the wrist strap on because it might be used against you in a violent manner ... and remember cheat also leads to brain damage." I say while smiling.

Crazy Elf Boy, you have been whacked with a Wii Remote.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Whoa what a coincidence Inferno dragon I almost got whacked by a Wii remote for not playing Need for Speed Carbon.

Also I have seen the devastaion of when some one does not use the strap

(Shakes head)

Any way Seeker_of_Truth gets it this time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seeker_of_Truth walks into a bar























*Whack*

Yes i know unoriginal but its 12:00 am.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Prepare to be KALEWHACKED, darktyranitar! (Kalevala = Finnish national epic)

Finnish
English translation

Mikachu, tuo Yukitatsu
Mikachu, that Yukitatsu
ukko Pohjolan sokea
man of Pohjola, blind
tuop' on Tuonelan joella,
that's aside Tuonela river,
pyhän virran pyörtehellä;
in the whirl of holy current;
katselevi, kääntelevi
looked around, turned around
tulevaksi darktyranitarta.
darktyranitar to come.

Jo päivänä muutamana
On one of a few days, already
näki darktyranitarin
saw darktyranitar
saavaksi, läheneväksi
to arrive, to approach
tuonne Tuonelan joelle,
that river of Tuonela,
vierehen vihaisen kosken,
beside the angry rapids,
pyhän virran pyörtehelle.
in the whirl of holy current.

Vesikyyn ve'estä nosti,
A water viper raised from water,
umpiputken lainehista,
the closed pipe from the waves,
PokéMestarin sydämen kautta,
through TPMer's heart,
läpi maksan darktyranitarin,
through darktyranitar's liver,
kautta kainalon vasemman
through the left armpit
oikeahan olkapäähän.
to the right shoulder.

Jopa darktyranitar
Already darktyranitar
tunsi koskevan kovasti.
felt it hurting hard.

[...]

Siitä Pohjolan sokea
From there Pohjola's blind one
Mikachu, tuo Yukitatsu
Mikachu, that Yukitatsu
syöksi darktyranitarin,
threw darktyranitar,
kaotti PokéMestarin
lost the TPMer
Tuonen mustahan jokehen,
in the black river of Tuoni,
pahimpahan pyörtesehen.
in the worst whirl.

[Blademaster]

(breaks a bottle of Hinoryu's head, then spears him in the throat with it)

No, no long-winded murders today - I'm in a hurry.

[Seeker_of_Truth]

No worries, Culex, I'll be long-winded enough for the both of us. *grins evilly*

-----
Culex felt like he had been smacked in the head with a mac truck as he slowly awoke from unconsciousness. With great trepidation, he realized he couldn't move his arms or legs either. In a panic, Culex opened his eyes and glances about but blurry vision kept him from making anything out. Slowly, his vision cleared and the grimness of his situation became apparently.

He had been bound to a chair by thick metalic ropes that, upon further inspection, appeared to be barbed wire. The long needles dug deep into his flesh, making Culex extremely unconfortable. Across the room from him has a simple cam corder perched on a rickity-looking tripod. Standing next to the camera was Seeker_of_Truth. Culex's eyes widened in horror as he exclaimed, "you're dead! I killed you!"

Seeker smiled viciously as he replied, "Actually, I was only mostly dead which, as you well know, means partially alive."

"You mean you somehow manage, after having your inards removed piece be piece and then being blended into a nice pulpy blood smoothie, to only be mostly dead? And how could you be fully alive again, anyways?" inquired Culex in a somewhat confused voice.

"This is true," replied Seeker simply, "and I had Miracle Max make me a Miracle Pill that brought me back to life. And he did if you cheap too, because it was a noble cause"

"And what noble cause is that?" asked Culex with a gulp.

Seeker's vicious smiled deepened before he answered, "revenge."

Silence filled the room for several minutes as Culex let this sink in. Finally, not able to take the waiting, he questioned, "so, what do you play to do with me?"

"Do you know what a snuff film is?" Seeker inquired, receiving a sheepish nod and another audible gulp in response, "Well, we're gonna make one and you are going to be the star."

With that, Seeker pulled a old-fashioned shaving razor from his back pocket and began sharpening it on a leather strip. As he did this, he says, "What I have invisioned for this film is a campy spoof on a couple popular moments in cinematic history. Of course, there may be a few artistic alterations on my part."

Having finished his task, Seeker walked over to a desk on which only a radio was placed. He fiddled with the knobs for a moment beforing turning to Culex and asked, "have you ever seen Resavoir Dogs?" Culex responded with a quiet whimper and a nod.

"Good," stared Seeker, "then you know all about that neat scene where they torture that cop," with that, Seeker turns the radio on to 'Super Sounds of the '70s. As it would happen, the song song used in the film (can't remember its name) is on. Seeker begins dancing goofily around Culex as the song plays out, occasionally slashing him on various parts of his body or hitting him full force in the face.

As the song nears its end, Seeker suddenly grabs Culex around the neck and cuts his left ear off with several deft strokes. Culex cries out in agony as Seeker laughs, holding the mutilated ear to his mouth and says, "can you hear me?" before laughing some more then throwing the piece of flesh in Culex's face.

All Culex could do is sob as the song mercifully ended. Seeker dropped the razor and went to a nearby table, picking up a large saringe with a clear liquid in it.

"This stuff will knock you out for a couple hours while I prepare for scene two," he announced as he plunged the needle into Culex's jugular then injecting the fluid.

+++

When Culex awoke once again, he found himself no longer bound. Standing up shakily, he took in his new surroundings. It appeared what he was in some sort of circular cell with no windows and no roof, but the opening was roughly 10 feet overheard. At various strategic positions near the top of the cell were what appeared to be security camera, all trained on him. The floor itself seemed to be covered in moist straw.

As Culex exaimined the floor, he became away of something dangling next to his head. Looking over, he realized it was a small basket suspended by a rope, the other end of which was help by Seeker. Inside the basket was a bottle of hand lotion. Seeker grined evilly at Culex as he spoke, "It puts the lotion on its skin, it does this whenever it's told."

"Oh, god, please, no..." moaned Culex as he stared with trepidation at the lotion in the basket. Suddenly, he found himself being doused by a jet of liquid coming from above, apparently from the hose Seeker now held in his other hand. Much to Culex's horrow, the liquid made his skin felt as though it was burning.

As the spray of liquid stopped, Culex watched as his skin was slowly eaten away be the liquid. Realization struck him like a hammer made of ice: the liquid was acid. With a hint of glee in his voice, Seeker recited, "it puts the lotion on its skin, on else it gets the hose again."

Sobbing almost oncontrollably, Culex took the hand lotion from the basket and began administering it to his seered flesh. The pain was almost too much to bear. After applying what he hoped was enough to satisify his tormentor, Culex went to put the lotion back in the basket, knowing what would happen if he didn't. Unfortunately, Seeker rasied the basket at the last moment, causing the lotion bottle to drop to the ground. Culex choked back another sob.

"It puts the lotion in the basket," requested Seeker even as he held the basket out of his victim's reach. In desperation, Culex picked the bottle up and lobbed it, trying to make it into the basket. Once again Seeker moved the basket, causing the lotion bottle to plummet back to the floor. Culex could only muster a horrified laugh before being pelted with another torrent of acid. Then all he could do was scream.

After halting the onslaught of acid, Seeker finally lowered the basket back down to Culex then yelled, "Put the {censored} lotion in the basket!" Culex complied numbly.

After hoisting the basket back up and placing it to the side, Seeker stared in at the shell of the man in the well. After a moment a silence, he spoke, "inside that bottle of lotion was a very powerful yet slow-acting poison. Over the next hour, you will die a horrible painful as your blood congeals and your body forces you to vomit your internal organs out in a most horrible fashion. I intend to watch every second of it before taking this footage and releasing it for the viewing pleasure of all TPMers."

Seeker smiled manaically as Culex dropped to his knees and bawled for what was inevitable. Fortunately, it wasn't long before the real show began.

-----

Well, there you have it. Culex, you have been whacked via snuff film spoofing two famous torture scenes from two popular movies. And it was every bit as gruesome as what you did to me. Hope you enjoyed XD

[Blademaster]

Actually, I did... Nicely done, Seeker. Payback truly is a bitch...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and get me some 1-UP Mushrooms within the next... 53 minutes. But first...

(grabs Magmar's Moon Scepter knock-off and jams it up his ass)

That's for traumatizing me by wearing a miniskirt in front of me! ...I dunno if you enjoyed that or not, but I can only afford a quick whacking right now.

(checks another name off the list)

Three left to go... Ughhhh...

(throws up a large red glob of... something)

Liver...? When the Hell did I have liver last...? Oh, wait...

(looks at watch)

Shit, gotta run. Bye now!

(runs off)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Your next, Mikachu Yukitatsu.

*Mikachu Yukitatsu finds himself lying on a stone table. He tries to move but strange energy bands are keeping him down.*

"Hello, is anyone there?" Mikachu Yukitatsu asks.

"Only me!"

*I step out in a Death Eater Robe and look at Mikachu Yukitatsu. I grin at him even though he doesn't see my face. I pull out my wand and a remote. I used the remote to deactivate the energy bands.*

"I think I shall be leaving." Mikachu Yukitatsu

"Not so fast. Now face the Imperius curse. Imperio!" I shout.

*The spell hits Mikachu Yukitatsu and hit is fazed but he feels fine until I order him to do various things. I tell him to dance around like a ballerina or act like a gorilla or serve me fruit (don't ask!)

"Now the second phase. You think that was painful. Now face the Cruciatus curse. Now Crucio." I shout again.

*A wave of energy hits Mikachu Yukitatsu and he feels intense pain. I smile and look at him squirming. I twirl the wand in my hand.*

"Now I shall end this charade. Avada Kedavra!" I shout while aiming the wand at his chest.

*The jet of green light hits his chest directly as he flies back. His eyes close while I check his pulse. Dead, that's what I thought. Good thing Voldemort is idiot to let his wand unguarded and it needed was a little tampering. I snap the wand in half and throw it on the ground. I pull out Saruman's staff.*

"Now let's see who will be the victim of this weapon." I smile as I walk into the darkness.

You have been whacked by the Three Unforgivable Curses, Mikachu Yukitatsu.

[Hinoryu]

*calmly steps forward, takes Inferno_Dragon's wand, and stabs him in the eyes with it.*

Jeez, what's with these epicly long posts? Does harming someone require essays now?

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Yes they do and here is mine

*Brings in a forklift with a 1000000000000000 page essay on why Hinoryu should die and drops it on Hinoryu*

[darktyranitar]

*Aims a sniper rifle at Crazy Elf boy, only to discover that I'm out of ammo*

CEB: Hah! Let see how you're going to kill me now!

*take out a blowpipe, and shoot a dart right at CEB's eye*

CEB *staggering*: Ooh, ahh... *falls down the from the 10th floor that he's on, ended with a 'splat'*

[Inferno_Dragon]

Hinoryu, it is more interesting a person demise detailed to the very last bit but I can end it quickly.

*summoned Meteor3 and fires it at Blademaster. Blademaster fires at it and it explodes but a piece of the meteor still falls on Blademaster and squishes him to his death.*

Whacked ... Squished by a meteor, Blademaster.

See, Hinoryu, quick and to the point, happy?

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Cost for Admission to Movie World: $120

All you can eat Buffet: $30

1 ticket for the Superman roller coaster: $10

Crazyelfboy laughing at Inferno Dragon as he spews up his internal organs: Pricless

Some things in life a free, for everything else theres MasterCard

[Blademaster]

(hi-jacks the Duff blimp from Springfield with a remote control; flies it over a certain TPMer's head)

Oh, Captn_BooZe...

(hits auto-kill button; blimp stops dead and plummets from sky, crashing and exploding on Captn_BooZe's head Hindenberg-style.

Captn_BooZe... whacked by a beer blimp...

Ah, how I love irony...

[Shadow Wolf]

OK, here we go Yoshi!

*Yoshi swallows Mikachu Yukitatsu , and transforms him into an egg. Shinypkmnchaser pulls out a big mallet a squashes the egg*

(thinks) Hmm, I should have brought a big frying pan. Oh well...

[Crazy Elf Boy]

After getting the Boss key and making his way through the Water Temple, an unsuspecting Shinypkmnchaser is magically floated down onto a platform surrounded by water.

He can see somethign moving in the water, suddenly Crazyelfboy pops out of a jar and pushes him into the water. But before he can put on his Zora mask he is swallowed whole by the Masked Fish Gyorg.

You have just been whacked Majora's Mask style

[darktyranitar]

This is the last whack on this game, right? Hm...

*throw a banana peel on step of stair, and waits until someone comes by*

An unaware Blademaster steps into banana peel...

Blade: Oh, shiiiittttt... *tumbles down* oww, oww... man, this is gonna hurt tomorrow morning...

Lame, I know >>

[Blademaster]

Actually, Faiz, according to my count, your post was only post #120. That means there's room for one more.

So... in the spirit of finality...

(slams Jeff in the face with a STOP sign)

And that... is the end of that chapter...!

(tosses scarf over shoulder, then turns and leaves)

[Crazy Elf Boy]

I think Faiz's one was number 121. So who won Kitsun?

[kitsun]

The final scores for round one is:

1st: Inferno_Dragon (20)

2nd: Kitsun (13)

3rd: Blademaster, shinypkmnchaser, Crazy Elf Boy (12)

4th: Hinoryu (10)

5th: darktyranitar, mr_pikachu, Mikachu Yukitatsu, Seeker_of_Truth (5)

6th: Jeff (3)

Last: Hypotenuse Man, Captn_BooZe (2)

I'll start round two when I get off work. I gotta run now.

[mr_pikachu]

What about the other awards?