View Full Version : [Poll] 1 million things to get you kicked out of Walmart.

21st June 2007, 11:37 AM
Lets post 1 millon things that will get you kick out of walmart. (Approved by Lady Vulpix)

1.Look up at the over head T.V.s and Scream "OMG FLYING T.V.S ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD."
2.Lock a Janitor in a bathroom stall and throw firecrackers in there.

21st June 2007, 02:13 PM
3. Loiter in the women's clothing section, constantly looking side to side and muttering to yourself. It also doesn't hurt to occasionally dive behind a display for no apparent reason.

4. Open a bag of Cheetos, stick one in each nostril, and walk around while eating the rest of the bag.

5. Yell "BOMB!" as loud as you can. Then imitate Ben Stiller from the airplane scene on Meet the Parents.

6. Find a somewhat overweight kid, turn him/her upside-down, and shake him while yelling "Give me back my french fries!"

7. Take a suitcase into the store, then ask a security guard to hold it for a few hours. Explain that "It's either you or the bathrooms."

8. Randomly kick people.

9. Have someone tape you to one of the aisles.

10. While waiting in the checkout line, pull out a kunai and tell the person in front of you, "I look forward to killing you soon."

Starry Might
22nd June 2007, 02:19 PM
About 8 years ago, I made a document file of 50 things to do while at Wal-Mart, copied and pasting a list I found on the Internet. Do you mind if I post the list from it here? :D

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball, see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin, narrow isles.
10. Walk up to an employee and say in an official tone,"I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say,"Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. and see if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear,"Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"
15. Repeat number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive".
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing feild [sic].
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say,"Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon .
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman! Come Robin- to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators until they spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,"Why don't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling,"Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if they have any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield of G.I. Joe vs. the X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible".
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like,"Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, Pillows in the Pet Food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabitize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the Auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When announcements come over the loud speaker, assume a fetal position and scream, "No,no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
* BONUS * Attempt all of the above in the same visit.
To anyone posting after me, the stuff listed above would rank from #11-60 in this topic (*PHEW*), so start your list at #61. :)

22nd June 2007, 05:20 PM
61. Walk in with an 8ft. python and say "Where are the pet toys"
62. Go to the hunting section while holding a gun say "Do you have anti-depressants

22nd June 2007, 07:14 PM
63. Buy a fishing pole, then climb on top of a high shelf and go 'cart-fishing.'

64. Load up your shopping cart with as many things as you can fit in it, then go to th chweckout, look for someone with only one or two items, and ask them if you can get ahead of them.

65. Put on a hockey mask and browse around the lawncare section.

66. Put on a beekeeper suit, then proceed to shop whilst carrying around an occupied beehive.

67. Ask the clerks if they would like some honey from said beehive.

68. Collect as many bullfrogs as you can in a non-suspect container (a backpack works well) and discreetly drop the frogs off one at a time at random intervals.

69. Walk around the store with a plastic cage asking random people if they've seen your tarantula.

70. Put on a tutu and a football helmet and walk around backwards all day.

71. Buy something soft and wet at the food court and throw it into the nearest ceiling fan.

Crazy Elf Boy
22nd June 2007, 07:15 PM
72: Hiding in clothes racks and scare people when they look at them.

73: Run through all the aisles screaming "Their coming to get me"

74: Go through all their Mars bars to see if you have one a free one

75: Walk behind people whistle soothing muzak

76: Go to the lounge department steal a chair, then go to the candy department and steal a packet of chips. Put the chair and chips down in the electronics department and start playing the demo games.

77: Spill a bottle of detergent in the sports aisle then go skiing

78: Open a 1000 piece puzzle and start doing it in the aisle

79: Same thing as 78 but with a Lego model

80: Push all the beds together and steal all the pillows to make a fort

29th June 2007, 02:19 PM
81. Tape a paper shark fin to your head that's big enough to see over the shelves and Jaws theme as you walk around.

82. Find the 'Employees Only' door and set a lit paper bag full of dog crap down in front of it, then knock on the door and run like Hell.

83. Hide in the bargain bin and scare people by jumping out at them.

84. Kill someone.

85. Steal something.

86. Start a water balloon fight in the electronics department.

87. Start an electronics fight in the pool care department.

88. Buy a bunch of lollipops, lick them, and then throw them at peoples' hair.

89. Dress up as a gorilla and go ape.

90. Let a large flying bug loose in the store and proceed to try and kill it in the most reckless, violent way possible.

91. Grab as many light bulbs as you can find and attempt to juggle them - all at once.

92. Walk around naked with an inner tube around your waist.

93. Eat stuff without paying for it.

94. Drink stuff without paying for it.

95. Wear stuff without paying for it.

96. Break stuff without paying for it.

97. Drive a large truck through the front entrance.

98. Drive a large truck through the back entrance.

99. Bring in ten high school football teams and 700 footballs and start a game.

100. Dress up as Seto Kaiba, walk to the exact center of the store, hold out your arms, and yell as loud as you can: "SCREW WAL-MART - I HAVE MONEY!!!"

Unsolved Puzzle
29th June 2007, 02:40 PM
101. hang K Mart Signs over all the sale signs and over all the wallmart signs