Scenes from a Hat 1st Version (LV approved)

[Dragonstar1715]

Hi guys! In the tradition of games like Questions Only and other games that are frequented on here, I have created a game that was on the ever so funny (In my opinion) show "Whose Line is it anyway?"

The rules are simple:

I post a question that you have to give a funny answer for

e.g. "Things you don't expect to hear when you put your ear to a seashell"

*Picks up seashell* Put me down!

and after 5 answers the 5th person will introduce a new topic and after those 5 another topic etc. (I'll change it if necessary)

so have fun! And I'll introduce the first topic:

"The last thing you need to hear after a crap day at work"

[Blademaster]

(Michael Jackson is laying on your couch, totally naked save for a rose over his/her/its... uh... crotch...?)

"Welcome home, honey... HEE-HEE!"

[Inferno_Dragon]

(Paris's Hilton mom and dad relaxing after a hard day.)

"Mom ... dad ... I am in jail. Can you help get me out of here?"

[Dragonstar1715]

I've got my own

*Gets home from work*

"oh hi honey, my parents are coming over"

[Magmar]

*Gets home from work*

Grandma: YOU GOT A BILL IN THE MAIL YOU DIDNT PAY YOUR MEDICAL BILLS YET!

wouldn't be the first time..

[classy_cat18]

I got one!

*walks in to see Freddy Kruger with a chainsaw*

Me: "I gotta stop taking that graveyard shift."

Next topic: Things that could go wrong during Christmas vacation

[Inferno_Dragon]

* Visits a town in Canada close to the North Pole.*

Me: This is the best vacation ever.

Person One: Hey, is that a stream of water running through town?
Person Two: No, it is a river.
Person Three: No, it is an ocean.
Scientist: I think the ice caps have melted.

Me: Thank you Global Warming for running my vacation.

[Dragonstar1715]

*flies in to mystery destination*

Ahh a time to enjoy the glorious snow of winter

*Goes outside where its blazing hot*

Who TF was my travel agent?

[mr_pikachu]

*family looks under the tree*

Dad: ...Well. Mind if I use those for the grill, kids?

Kid: Santa sucks.

[Blademaster]

(opens Christmas present)

"I LIKE CEREAL!"

Oh, fu-

KA-BLAM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!


Let's see if anyone gets that reference... ;)

[Inferno_Dragon]

*Arrives at a village bustling with people.*

Me: I don't know why they said I should go here. And why is this village considered hidden? Well, it is the perfect place to relax for my Christmas Vacation.

Ninja 1: Watch ...
Ninja 2: ... out.
Ninja 3: There ...
Ninja 4: ... is ...

Me: Is what? A parade of elfs?

Naruto (screaming through the streets): Giant two headed snake going to kill us all.

*turns around and stares at snake.*

Me: I am so going to kill that travel agent of mine.

*gets flattened by the snakes tail.

Me: Yep, I am so going to mutilate that travel agent of mine.

Next Topic: Entries from a TPM member's journal or diary.

[Fett One]

Dear Journal, mr_pikachu killed me for the 1,000 time in twisted wishes.

[Blademaster]

Dear Journal,

mr_pikachu embarrassed me for the 1,000th time in War of the Forums today...

[Dragonstar1715]

Dear Diary,

I have found out that smilies are not considered proper english :(

[firepokemon]

Dear Diary,

OMG this is spam.

[Dragonstar1715]

Dear Diary,

Still trying to figure out what the meaning of life is, plan to ask in questions only game

Next Topic: Things you can say about your computer but not your girlfriend

[Blademaster]

I put my software in her hardware.


(And nobody got my reference... Bummer. :()

[Dragonstar1715]

Next year I'm getting rid of the old one and getting the new model :P

[firepokemon]

You are fat

[Crazy Elf Boy]

I want to trade this one in for a better one

[Dragonstar1715]

Come on let go of my floppy!

Next Topic: What mr_pikachu is thinking right now

[firepokemon]

mr-pikachu .................................................. ...............................

............................................

...........................................

[Blademaster]

'I HATE RACCOONS.'


EDIT: This is my 3,600th post. Yay.

[Mystic_clown]

"Damn, I still can't use Thundershock!"

[endy]

mr pika : I have an idea , there is a war, and it is in forums. Briliant!

[mr_pikachu]

"If this game is now about me, it's sunk to a new low."

(It's hard to argue with me about what I'm thinking, isn't it? ^_^)

Next topic: If you were the last person on earth, what would you do that you can't do now?

[classy_cat18]

"Alright! Time to Macarena!"

[Dragonstar1715]

Yeah! time to get myself a shotgun!

[Blademaster]

"I am the smartest, coolest, sexiest man alive!!! :D"

[endy]

Running around naked makes me feel good

[Dragonstar1715]

*Goes to olympic Swimming Pool*

CANNONBALL!

Next topic: Things you shouldn't say when your Girlfriend/Boyfriend is trying on clothes

[mr_pikachu]

It looks a little tight... do you have that in a larger size?

[firepokemon]

Purple is really your colour.

[Dragonstar1715]

Well um, there's a tent and awning place down the street

[Blademaster]

"Your car has been towed, you've been evicted from your house, your family is dead, your best friend is in jail getting the 'do-not-drop-the-soap' treatment, your pets are being chopped up, grilled, and served at McDonald's as we speak, Santa Claus is just a myth, there is no God, and the world is going to explode in ten seconds...

I think we should see other people."

[Dragonstar1715]

*Waiting for girlfriend to finish trying on clothes*

"Come on, you know you'll never fit into any of these anyway!"

Next Topic: Bad things to say to someone on their deathbed

[Toxicity]

*person on deathbed is a rich relative of yours*

"Hey, we all decided that we'll split some of the money between ourselves, but we're not going to make your funeral fancy, and majority of the money will go to charity! Are you feeling alright?"

[Dragonstar1715]

"Um, what are you gonna do with your stereo?"

[firepokemon]

"You look terrible"

[Dragonstar1715]

"Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

[Blademaster]

(comes in a second after the illness reaches it's irreversible stage)

"Good news, dude - we found a cure that'll reverse what you got!"


Next topic: Things you'd say if you accidentally set your house on fire.

[Toxicity]

"I'm sorry; I can't help being so hot that I can set things on fire!"

[mr_pikachu]

"So, uh... who brought the marshmallows?"

[classy_cat18]

"Could've been worse...at least we didn't flood it again."

[Dragonstar1715]

Fire!

*Starts smoking a cigarette*

[firepokemon]

The Lord blessed us today.

Next Topic:

Things you'd say if you found out you were having a baby.

[Greyfox]

Hey - it's just like that movie Junior...

-Grey

[classy_cat18]

"WHAT THE CRAP? I'M A VIRGIN!"

[Blademaster]

"O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"







(willing to bet $20 nobody realizes he only gave that answer because he's a male and therefore unable to have a baby)

[Dragonstar1715]

Oh man and I just went to the plastic surgeon! (If anyone gets my reference) :P

[mr_pikachu]

"WHAT THE CRAP? I'M A VIRGIN!"

WHAT THE CRAP? SO AM I!


Next topic: What if that "I forgot to put on pants this morning" nightmare came true?

[Toxicity]

"I'm sorry, but it was THIS, or my daughter's mini-skirt!"

[classy_cat18]

"Okay, I did it. Now gimme my twenty bucks." *holds out hand to teacher*

[Blademaster]

"Aw, shit..." (gives Shonta $20)

[The Blue Avenger]

"Giggity giggity."

[Inferno_Dragon]

Well, at least this is better than that nightmare where I am totally naked, act a lecture hall on the podium giving a presentation and the room is jammed packed where everybody is watching me. And there is some guy who has a video camera filming these ... and in 5 minutes, it will be on YouTube.com

Next topic: Things you should never say at a airport.

[darktyranitar]

*arrive at the airport, only to have some issue with the custom on checking your baggage*

"Aww, come on. It's not like I'm carrying a bomb."

[mr_pikachu]

"Praise Allah!"

Or, for the gaming fans out there...

"Praise be to Yevon!"

[Toxicity]

"Please! I gotta bring this top-secret, highly-explosive material with me, and it can't go where it needs to be without me getting on!"

[Blademaster]

"Hey, be honest with me... Do I really look like a hijacker to you guys? :D"

[Dragonstar1715]

"Hey check out my piece!" *Shows a shotgun*

Ahhhh! he's got a gun take him down!

Awwww S**T :P

Next Topic: Things to say that will always start a fight

[Inferno_Dragon]

I don't care how strong you are or how agile you are, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

[Dragonstar1715]

Guys wanna fight?

(Simple enough) :)

[Dragonstar1715]

Okay, no response for like how long so here's next topic:

If entertainer's worked funerals

Have fun!

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Ummm yeh, I accidently burned down your house while you were still indie. Sorry bout that.

Things to say to people wqhen there drunk

[Blademaster]

Um... What's the current topic again? I see three...

...Oh well.

Starting a fight: "Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons?"

Entertainers at funerals: "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, (dead person's name here)'s on a trip now: To Heaven or bust."

When someone's drunk: "You're sober enough to drive. ...No, Eileen, that's not the ignition, that's a woodpecker hole."

[Crystalmaster Mike]

Even though 3's a crowd:

Starting a fight: "Ha-hah, your parents're divorced! Suckah!"

Entertainers at funerals: "In my next act, I will saw this coffin in two while someone's inside it! - Aw yuck, the corpse's started leaking!"

When someone's drunk: "Hey, I know you won't remember this in the morning, so... care to show me your room, babe?"

Nice threesome, that was.

[Dragonstar1715]

I started another topic because no one was posting, but Crazy Elf Boy put up a new topic when he wasn't supposed to, the current topic is:

If entertainers worked funerals

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Well I am sorry if I don't have a very coherent thinking proccessor when I am drunk ok.

This guy is a little stiff, did he just take a whole bottle of Viagra?

[Master of Paradox]

"And now, I wave the magic wand, and - TADA! The body has disappeared!"

*pause*

"Dave, I told you to yank the body out when it was under the blanket!"

[mr_pikachu]

"A corpse, a coffin and a tombstone walked into a bar..."

[Blademaster]

Mr_pikachu, that was the fifth scene. You can post another scenario now, y'know. :sweat2:

[mr_pikachu]

Agh, I counted from when Dragonstar posted. My mistake.

New scene: The ways people spend lottery winnings.

(Please excuse my second post after only one other person had posted in this instance.)

[Blademaster]

(walks into McDonald's)

"One million large number 4's, please. And DON'T put any onions on it! I swear to God, if you put onions on it again, you'll rue the day you floated over to this country...! :mad2:"

[Master of Paradox]

"No, no, no... I told you, put the giant crystal statue of Kirby to the RIGHT of the bronze statue of Seth McFarlane getting lynched!"

[Crazy Elf Boy]

"Look I already told you what I needed"

"Yeh I know, its just that.."

"Its just what?"

"Well don't you think this is a little extreme?"

"Hey if I want a complete re-enactment of World War II I am going to get it"

[Inferno_Dragon]

"Ahhhh, every video game system ever from every store ... from every city ... from every state ... from every country ... from every continent ... "

*receives e-mail and smiles.

" .... from every planet."

[Shadow Wolf]

*After requesting authorization from Lady Vulpix*

*zooms in*

Hello!

*Voice echoes through the game zone*
*cleans up the zone*

Let's see... last topic... the way people spend money ehh?

...

I want to buy TPM forums. ^_^

Next Topic: What would you say to your couple if your have a minor accident with your car during a date?

(example of a minor accident, a tire went flat)

[firepokemon]

.......

""Hey baby, why not change the type and bend over so I can fuck you already".

[Master of Paradox]

"Look, hon, compared to when I ran over your brother with my Windstar this is nothing."

[Blademaster]

"One day! One fucking day after the extended warrantee expires, and the Goddamn tire falls off! I TOLD you we should've bought the used Chevy with the cardboard steering wheel! But noooooooo - YOU had to have an act-tu-al steering wheel... That does it, we're breaking up!"

(gets in car and drives off)

"...

FUCK!!!!!!!"

[Shadow Wolf]

*The tire flats out in front of a love hotel in Japan*

...umm...it could've been worse! ^_^;

[Crystalmaster Mike]

"Well, I bet you we won't forget this night very fast now! ... Okay, that was lame. ... Care to try again during another date?"

[Shadow Wolf]

Hey Crystalmaster Mike, since you were the fifth person to post about the current theme, you are the one who begins a new theme. ^_^

[Dragonstar1715]

Alright to kick this off again after 5 months :S

New Scene: Professions where breaking into song is discouraged

[Green Lanturn]

*While administering the driving test*

~The Tester, suddenly bursting into song: "Traffic! Traffic! Oh fateful day! Will we crash? Will we survive? I WILL SURVIVE!"

~GL

[Master of Paradox]

"As the presiding judge of the the 4th District Court, on the charge of murder in the first degree, I find you..."

*whistle*
"G-U-I-L-T-Y!
That's how I find you!
G-U-I-L-T-YYY!
You're going for twenty to life!"

[firepokemon]

"As a prison officer"

Boys oh boys
I do like my boys
tight arsed are even better
boys oh boys
I'm coming for boys

[Inferno_Dragon]

"As a IRS Agent"

"Money"
"You owe me Money!"
"Lots and lots of Money"
"Money"
"MONEY!!!"

[Blademaster]

As ANYTHING:

"Hey, Boss...?

You and your band you fucking suck!
HELL YEAH YOU FUCKING SUCK!
I don't give a fuck you fucking fuck!
HELL YEAH YOU FUCKING SUCK!

New scene: Memes you're better off not saying in real life. (Just randomly yelling them out doesn't count - be creative.)

[Heald]

I'd rule 34 that.

[firepokemon]

I <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 333333333333333333333333333333333333 you so much.

(Lame y/n?)

[Blademaster]

(Not if you do it the verbose way and say "I less than three [I dunno the number - the highest I know is a googol, and I think your example is honestly bigger than THAT, even.] you. They'd probably be dead, or at least broken up with you, by then. :s)

Anyway, I don't remember if you're allowed to post a scene for your own... scene, but fuck it, I'm-a toss one out anyway. Ahem...

(your best friends have just gotten married and are about to cut the cake... you know what's coming...)

THE CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!