<Game> Twisted Wishes v.5 (M.A. LV)

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but now they run on human entrails

I wish that I had more DVD disks

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but they are so fragile that when you even hold one, they snap in two. And that happens every ... single ... time.

I wish I had a bucket of Oregon Strawberries and Blueberries right now.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but I remove your tongue so they taste like nothing.

I wish I had a perfect Finnish-English dictionary with all those difficult words such as mielenterveyskuntoutuja.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but as soon as you open it you forget how to speak and write english and finish.

I wish some cough lollies

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but the cough lollies actually make you cough really bad causing you to throw up blood every time you cough.

I ish-way hat-tay verybody-eay n-oay PM-Tay ould-way rite-way ike-lay his-tay.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. But you will notice no difference because I write Finnish and Japanese that way too.

I wish somone granted this wish in a little story that involves mr_pikachu, Crazy Elf Boy, and me.

[Fett One]

Granted. mr_pikachu, Crazy Elf Boy, and Mikachu Yukitatsu went to a picnic and were killed by fire ants

I wish to travel to the moon

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but once on the moon you get abducted by alien

I wish everyone had clean drinking water

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but milk gets dirty then.

I wish for a better future for everyone.

[firepokemon]

Granted, everyone has a great future, the only problem is the internet may be interactive but really it is simply a virtual world and thus people only had great futures in the virtual world. This did not include great futures offline, with most ending up on the dole (Bah i couldn't think of anything else to type :( )


I wish the year would go slower (it seems to be really really fast :( )

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Ok, but it goes soooo slow for you it will never end causing you to be stuck in an eternal repetition of the whole year.

I wish time travel was real

[Heald]

Granted. I go back in time and kill the stork that delivered you.

I wish I had my own personal army of ninja.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you soon find out that they were hired by your rival and the minute you sleep, they will try to kill you.

I wish I had a pair of earmuffs.

[Fett One]

Granted but you are in an accident that causes you to loose your ears before you ever get a chance to wear the earmuffs

I wish people could get robotic prosetics to replace any limbs that they have lost

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but after the people get the, they go psycho and try to kill them

I wish robots would never kill people

[firepokemon]

Granted, robots don't kill people but murder rates still jump to epic proportions because robots have the ability to persuade people to commit murder. This causes panic and destruction everywhere causing several people, well lets face it thousands of people to commit suicide. Thus, soon the world has so little people that the robots have fully taken over and provide no food for humans. Thus this means more humans kill, just to eat another human and survive. While all of this is happening, the robots are lying back laughing at how stupid humans could be utilising mathematics, binary systems, programming thus giving them artificial intelligence and thus causing their own deaths. The last ever newspaper headline reported that just 1, 000 humans were left and these humans are merely there to serve the billions of robots that require technical help. Humans are stupid and robots now rule.

----

I wish I was not going to get paper burns from shredding paper with my hands.

[Fett One]

Granted. You get a ton of paper cuts instead

I wish to host a bbq

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, you host a bbq. Unfortunately, it is an alien BBQ and you are the main course.

(I was going to do something with the initials "bbq" but I thought my above response was much better.)

I wish I could travel back in time so I can convince the creators of Power Rangers to stop earlier on. (That series seems like it is going to never stop.)

[firepokemon]

I wish I could travel back in time so I can convince the creators of Power Rangers to stop earlier on. (That series seems like it is going to never stop.)

Congratulations your wish is granted. Unfortunately your wish may well prove to be not as good a wish as you thought it would be. First yes you do travel back in time and you convince the creators of Power Rangers to stop the show early on. Unfortunately, what you actually intended to do did not happen. After all this is twisted wishes. What happened was that well, they, stopped after five episodes only. Not only that but it was never brought anywhere overseas other than Japan. See, you forgot about translation, and what you asked of them was to end at episode five. Sorry but thats what happens when you don't make a careful wish. Even more unfortunate is that by going back in time, you disrupted the present. The problem is you went so far back in time, that there were major disruptions to the present. Thus, well Pokemon was not a success. Neither was Digimon, Naruto didn't even exist. Congratulations you just killed the whole new wave of anime, and thus anime forever became just a small community of fansubs. But not only that, it will be now another 10, 20 years until things such as youtube exist. Social networking sites exist. Hell, the internet is still a baby with few capabilities. Well done Inferno_Dragon by going back in time you disrupted the whole world and we know of it.

I wish for money, money, money, lots of money in a rich mans world.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but since your in a rich mans world and everyone is richer then you, its not as great

I wish for something to think of

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but the minute you are about to get it, I take it from you.

I wish I could be friends with Zorc.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but for some old reason you are sent to ancient Egypt. It appears you are in the same era when Mika Waltari's Sinuhe The Egyptian took place and you meet Nefernefernefer and lose all you have.

I wish for infinite wishes.

[firepokemon]

Mikachu Yukitatsu your wish has been granted. You have infinite wishes and can make any wish of your desire. At first its wonderful and easy, you wish for a pokemon game, a new cellphone, faster internet, net clothes. Just the little things, but then you begin to get greedy and wish for new houses, lots of dollars, new animals and the like. Its all sounding wonderful isn't it. Then you think to yourself, oh if only you could help the poor out. So you make wishes that everyone in the world gets food and medicine. You feel good about yourself, and keep making various wishes. Unfortunately, your mind becomes possessed with the knowledge that you can make any wish you want. Your heart darkens, your mind goes crazy. People pissing you off, you wish to die, people annoying, you wish to torture them. Evil men and women are wished to a hellish existence. You become one nasty thing as your wishes become more and more horrific. You also have noticed a strange thing happening to your body and face, you're getting old, like really old. Your skin is wrinkling up, you are getting age spots everywhere, you are getting shorter. Basically granting wishes has stuffed you up and you look like a very old person. And yet you continue to be bitter making merciful wishes to everyone and anyone. Then one day, your heart just stops and at the young age of 25. You are dead. Yes you had infinite wishes but you did not have an infinite life and there were always going to be consequences for the things you wished for. Not only that, but these wishes were not limitless. Mikachu Yukitatsu dead at 30, the world breathes a sigh of relief.

----

I wish to be a butterfly for a year.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, you are now a rare butterfly that has never seen before. But you are soon captured and frozen so you will remain intact for future generations.

I wish I had a magic wand.

[Fett One]

Granted but it only works once a month

I wish to be able to create cutscenes just like Peter Griffin

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. The first cutscene results in you being brutally murdered by an anthropomorphic yellow chicken.

I wish that the next person to post in this thread didn't post in this thread.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but you just made me commit suicide.

I wish we could discuss suicide more freely here at TPM.

[firepokemon]

Granted, discussions of suicide occur more freely, however, some decide to well discuss how they are going to do it and such, and this leads to panic and fear. So thats what you wished for, well done.

(I couldn't really twist that, cause well I would feel bad. But in all seriousness I really don't think anyone is stopping you from discussing suicide freely or anything. Whether you really feel that way or just felt to wish for that I dunno. But go make a suicide topic if you wish to).

I wish to go to be bed at the time I normally do but to actually get to sleep and stay asleep, so I'm not up half the day lying in bed getting stressed out at not getting to sleep.

[Fett One]

Granted. You fall into a sleep that you will never wakeup from

I wish this game would come to an end (i think this is the first time anyone has made this wish)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but this means that no one could play this game ever again which means it couldn't be revived so people will hate you for making that wish.

I wish Fett One was a Charizard.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but then his avatar becomes a human and is stuck in the pages of TPM.

I wish I lived happily ever after.

[Fett One]

Granted but you die within a minute of acheiving your happiness

I wish to become a FBI agent

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but since they don't trust you very well, they implant a mind control device in your brain and put a shock collar on you in case you find out how to distrupt the signal that controls you. And if you are able to destroy the shock collar, you become a lab experiment. So you are an FBI Agent but you will probably become some terrible creature ... which they will terminate as soon as they find out if it is too threatening.

I wish there existed a TPM Museum with a wonderful gift shop.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. There will be books full of printed TPM threads, avatar and signature exhibitions, statues presenting famous TPM members such as firepokemon, shazza, Little_Pikachu...and Mikachu Yukitatsu...

Anyway, then there's this gift shop which has an Inferno_Dragon doll which rather looks like a pig and you are angry.

I wish Piccolo in Dragonball was more powerful.

[Fett One]

Granted. He becomes so powerful that not even Goku can beat, causing Goku and Vegeta to do the fusion dance just so that they can beat him. The fight ends up causing the planet they are on to be destroyed and killing all of them as well.

I wish to become immortal while maintaining my current age (24)

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but then Duncan McCloud chops off your head ... thus ending your immortality ... and now he is even stronger.

I wish I had the Kyubii Sealed inside me.

[firepokemon]

Granted, the kyubbi is sealed inside you. Thus giving you amazing powers unfortunately, it means you have no friends, everyone despises you and half the world wants to kill you. It sounds like a nice recycling of Naturo really. Except unlike in that merry story. Its just all downhill.

(Bah short I know *smacks myself*)

I wish someone would post in The Personality Game as I am bored and the internet is dead today.

[Fett One]

Granted but the person only posted spam

I wish to own an autobot

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you find out that it is really a Decepton is disguise and now you are running for your life because its orders are to destroy all human life and you are its selected target right now.

I wish that the next person would have all the letters in the alphabet in their post.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but the person only writes abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvxyzåäö so you won't have fun looking for the letters.

I wish letters å, ä and ö were used in English language.

[Fett One]

Granted but you can only use them when using baby talk

I wish to become a train conductor

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you fall asleep on the job on your first day and cause a major accident. You are ordered to never be near a train again for the next 500 years.

I wish I could be a pilot.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but some air pirates attack your plane.

I wish I could be a pirate.

[firepokemon]

Granted, the magic twisty wishing queen comes and puts magic into you and puts you to a fantasy time, a period that never really existed but in the fantasy world. There you are a pirate, its wonderful, as you meet a bunch of new friends and have a grand old time. Unfortunately, you were never really cut out for being a real pirate, and the thought of killing others saddens you. One day, you are asked to do such a feat, you refuse naturally. However, this results in you being made to walk the plank. You think to yourself well this is just a fantasy. Well yes it is, but Ms. Twisty Fairy Queen is evil like that and well she says that you are stuck in the fantasy world. And so you walk the plank and fall into the sea, for six hours you are stuck in the sea, you feel pretty warm and amazingly quite relaxed. But then a giant wave comes and you disappear under the sea to never be seen again.

I wish to be made a prince for a day and marry a fellow prince.

[Fett One]

Granted, you get married to Prince Charles. The marriage ends after the day is up and he gets to keep all of your stuff


I wish for a pet dragon that is 100% obediant to me and only me

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but every night it goes off on a killing spree and your neighbors are sick and tired of it. Either you get rid of the dragon or you go. Every time you try to make it behave, you are hurt badly. You finally get the idea of switching bodies with your dragon and it works. You finally find out why it has been causing havoc but before you can solve it, they destroy the destroy which means they kill you. Now your dragon which is in your body is still free to cause chaos and you can't do anything about since you are already dead.

I wish Bowser and Mario were friends.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but that means Mario sides with Bowser and with Mario on the evil side, Mushroom Kingdom turns into a living hell.

I wish I had a sword in a display case.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. But it's someone else's display case. The bigger prize, sitting next to the blade, is your head.

I wish I was omniscient.

[Master of Paradox]

Granted. Some things just shouldn't be known, though, so you quickly go insane and your knowledge is meaningless.

I wish I was motivated to write.

[Fett One]

Granted, you become motivated to write one page and one page only. After that you have writer's block for the rest of your life

I wish to read a really good star wars novel

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but just as you finish reading it you forget it.

I wish I had a time machine

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you are so clumsy when it comes to interacting with the past that it causes devasting changes to the present. When you get back to your time, you are surrounded by what looks like the new inhabitants of earth and they don't recognize you thinking that you are an invader and they try to kill you.

I wish I could make an Abridged Series.

[firepokemon]

Granted, you make an abridged series. You made it all nice and pretty and many people preferred it over the actual series. You thought great I'll continue doing so. But you keep getting fans of your abridged series, and they become maniacal. Soon they start sending emails, the next they start tracking you down. And soon they're at your doorstep. Including some sick 60 something year old, looking for you to be his new fuck buddy.

I wish someone would please please please reply to the Personality Game. :(

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but it was mr_pikachu who replied.

I wish I could send postcards to other TPMers via traditional mail.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You eventually get the mailing addresses of all the active TPMers around here (including myself), but you get so flooded with letters, that your house explodes from one letter too many, killing you and anyone else inside.

I wish I had a third, fully functional hand.

[Fett One]

Granted but it's located on you back, which makes it impossible to sit on a chair

I wish to be an only child

[firepokemon]

Your supreme wish is granted. Oh wait a minute, the magic went wrong and you were transported 200 years back in time. Its the days when only children, had to do all the washng, all the cleaning, all the scrubbing, lots ands lots and lots of work to do. Oh and theres no computers. OMG you are so tired, as you only have five hours of sleep to do. OMG and you have to do all the work. Next time don't wish to be an only child ^^

I wish for snow tomorrow.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but then you get snowed in and die from starvation

I wish for more anime to watch

[Knight of Time]

Granted. All the television stations in your house get anime on them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but the majority of the anime has adult situations, and you decide the anime isn't worth it.

I wish the Detroit Red Wings would be this year's NHL champion (after all, it is very rare these years for the top team in the regular season to win it all).

[Master of Paradox]

Granted, but one day after they win the game is thrown out on a technicality and awarded to their opponents.

I wish I had a perfect sense of direction.

[Fett One]

Granted but it only works on Venus, which makes it useless since it's impossible for your to live on Venus

I wish TV shows made 30 episodes a season so that there will be fewer reruns

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but this will make the producers, writers, actors, etc, etc, etc so tired that you will end up with poorly scripted episodes which isn't worth the 30 Episode Per Season.

I wish there could be a show that could on for 100 Seasons. (Yeah, I expect a similiar reponse to what I granted but I could be wrong.)

[firepokemon]

Your wish is granted. However, the show that started in season one was a serious drama, by season 10 it had become a comedy; by season 20 it was an action series; by season 30 it was a porn series; season 40 saw it become animated; season 50 was virtual reality based. And then from season 60 to season 100, it was abridged series of the first 59 episodes. And the series sucked.

I wish for it to be warmer.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but you just wished for your delicious ice cream become warmer.

I wish flowers couldn't die.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but that includes alien plants that suck the life out people. Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I had super intelligence.

[Fett One]

Granted but you become so smart that everyone beats you up for being a super nerd. Even the nerds beat you up for being a super nerd

I wish to own a f-22

[Master of Paradox]

Granted, but the first time you fly it the thing selfdestructs.

I wish the world was set to music.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but people get annoyed of it real quickly (Ever see that episode where Peter wishes to have music play when he walked or moved?)

I wish Pop Culture was part of elementary to High School Education. (I took a class on Pop Culture in college and it was truely educational ... and fun.)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but every artist then studies pop culture and it becomes too schematic. For instance, soon they'll publish a game named Suckmon where you suck monsters and it becomes a big pop culture hit, but just because the authors were inspired by the Pokemon phenomenon.

I wish I was the best ice hockey player in the world.

[Fett One]

Granted but you are so good that nobody wants to play against you, which causes you to get blacklisted from every single hockey team in existance.

I wish to have my very own Iron Man armor

[firepokemon]

Granted, but it comes from the 2 dollar shop and it broke, causing you to cry as it also had the bad affect of making you six years old again.

I wish I was a five year old for the day.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but you are grounded for the whole day

I wish I had an even wittier intellect

[Fett One]

Granted but you become so witty that no one understands your wit, which makes you depressed, which leads to you committing suicide

I wish people didn't committ suicide

[firepokemon]

Granted, but they do anyway (Sorry but I didn't find I wanted to really twist that)

I wish there was a pill that meant one couldn't gain too much weight.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but instead it makes people lose weight and die from anorexia

I wish anorexia wasn't a problem

[Knight of Time]

Granted. All the people in the world with anorexia suddenly and rapidly begin to gain weight, until finally, they all explode in pieces (not a pretty sight for sure)

I wish it was impossible for a person to explode like a bomb.

[Fett One]

Granted. They explode like grenades instead

I wish for a bottle of whiskey

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but it is tainted whiskey.

I wish they would make a sequel to Drawn to Life and have it both on the DS and the Wii.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but it sucks

I wish I had the ability to find out other peoples secrets

[Fett One]

Granted but in exchange for this power everyone in the world learn all of your secrets

I wish to own a tropical island

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, you own a tropical island ....

.... But it is infested with the most dangerous plants and animals so you won't have any time to relax while you are trying not to get killed.

I wish K-12 was all located in one giant school so that students could stay in the same school for 13 years.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but since everyone is there from k-12 it gets boring and everyone leaves causing it to shut down.

I wish I could have access to all TV shows ever made

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but that includes all those awful ones and you just waste your time.

I wish I could move faster.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You are now the fastest man in the world...but you have permanently lost control of your movements, causing you to be too fast, and you eventually crash into a wall.

I wish that walking into a wall would never hurt.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but now breathing is painful

I wish nothing bad would ever happen

[Fett One]

Granted, but with nothing bad ever happening things get really bored, making you wish bad things would happen again

I wish to have my very own iron man armor

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but you soon find out it can't work for you since it will only work for the previous owner of the Iron Man suit, and it you try to put it on, it will immediately try to either electrocute you or inject you with the most lethal dose of poison.

I wish they stopped making Mega Man Games.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but because of you that they stopped they send all backloaded games to your house

I wish I had the power to make people do what I want

[Fett One]

Granted but it only works on each person once

I wish people could no longer make wishes

[firepokemon]

Granted, your wish is granted and no more people can make wishes. This causes a huge amount of anger and frustration leading to people everywhere around the world who wanted to make a wish, coming for Fett One. One Sunday lazy afternoon Fett One was enjoying his lemon drink and apple pie, sitting down on the porch relaxing in the sun. First appeared one person and then another and then another and soon, there were hundreds if not thousands of people at the house that Fett One lived. Fett One sitting in his chair, swayed back and forth in fear of his lives. Soon one man said, "hey you Fett One, we want our wishes back". Fett One looked high above thinking to himself, "If only I didn't make the wish". Soon the thousands of people approached the porch, looking for that one spot to stab Fett One to death. Soon a knife entered Fett One's body and he began to bleed. Bleeding Fett One continued to ponder the wish he made and as the thousands left the porch and ultimately his house. Fett One lay down bleeding terribly thinking of the the mistakes that one wish would make.

I wish that my dog wouldn't annoy me constantly wanting me t play with his sticky and disgusting toy.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, now it just poops in your house everywhere

I wish I could go invisible when I feel like it

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it only work when you feel mad and it goes off if you feel happy. And if you ever feel sad, you will explode.

I wish that in the Last Harry Potter book, Lupin, George, Snape and Mad Eye Moody didn't die. (There are a lot that died in that book but I choose those four for a reason .... which I am not telling you.)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, they don't die. On the other hand, as soon as you open the book, you will die.

I wish Inferno_Dragon couldn't die.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but now he is doomed to walk the earth alone forever

I wish that I could do anything I wanted

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but now you have an extremely tight schedule, so you can't do as many things as you want in one day.

I wish that people had a natural immunity to sunburns.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but that doesn't make you immune to the ultraviolet waves coming from the sun to the earth and since you think you are imnune, you will be unware that you won't be safe from a huge UV Ray that is just hit and then you catch on fire so you end up with 3rd Degree Burns or what is worse than 3rd Degree burns.

I wish I was a resident of Eureka.

[Fett One]

Granted but you can never leave and your love ones can never visit you, which leaves you very lonely

I wish to pilot the millenium falcon

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but it is only a tiny scale model

I wish I was a fighter pilot

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but on your first mission to defend your country, your airplane suddenly explodes without any warning, and you die instantly in the explosion.

I wish that terrorists never existed.

[Fett One]

Granted but it causes a population boom that results in the earth's destruction since it couldn't handle the number of people living their.

I wish to have the power to control demons

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you can only control lower level demons. And you are accused by the demon king of trying to take any of his demons away so he banishes you to a realm where you are tortured 24/7.

I wish I could be friends with all dragons.

[firepokemon]

Granted you befriend all dragons but then after 50 years being friends with Dragons, a baby dragon dies. Not from your doing, it just happened that the baby dragon had a certain virus that could never be fixed but because you were taking care of the baby dragon the dragons got mad.

First the fire dragons breathed fire, then the water dragons sprayed water and then other dragons clawed you and dragons all over the world let out one huge cry that alerted other dragons and before you know you were dead. But this also resulted in dragons being so fearful of all humans that they would attack the humans themselves. Of course humans somehow striked back and it was the end of the dragons and eventually they became just a legend.

I wish my brain could write stories.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but since your brain needs to write them it pops out of your head and leaves for England to write magnificent stories leaving you brain dead

I wish I had the power to make my imagination real

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you can't control it very well. Especially when you think of terrible things which instead of attacking others they attack you.

I wish I could see the future.

[Fett One]

Granted but the images are so great that they cause you to become blind

I wish to be immune to all poisons

[firepokemon]

Granted, Fett One becomes immune to all poisons. However, there are consequences to such actions. For you see, as one person becomes immune to poisons, other people as a result become more exposed and thus hundreds then thousands and ultimately billions of people die.

I wish I could think of a wish right now but I can't.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you invent something but get frustrated because it won't be granted because the wish was so hard.

I wish my Playstation 3 worked better with the games it doesn't.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but it works well, only with XBOX games though

I wish things would happen the way it does in my mind

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you only think of horrible things and only horrible things will happen. And if you happen to think of a horrible thing that will happen to you, well let's just say things might not be pretty.

I wish I was a famous fantasy author.

[Fett One]

Granted. You become famous for writing the worst fantasy stories in history.

I wish for universal peace

[firepokemon]

Granted, but the world becomes boring.

I wish for anarchy.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but in the midst of this horrible rabble and chaos you are shivved in the kidneys with a knife dying in a horrible way.

I wish that violence would leave the world and everything would be at peace

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but while it is peace on earth, it is war in the universe so we don't have any way of protecting ourselves when an alien warship blows earth up leaving us to find planet "Bob" which we will find has also been blown up.

I wish I had the power to blow things up.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You go to a big city and blow your nose just to notice you have gained an ability to blow up nearby buildings doing so and accidentially wipe out some districts. Then you go to a shop and begin to feel cold again. You try to avoid blowing your nose, but fail and blow your nose and blow up the whole shop, with yourself inside it.

I wish Crazy Elf Boy's wishes were granted to me.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but then your wishes are granted by someone else and not me

I wish I had a car

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it is a really an alien car in disguise and you learn that it hates human so it tries to kill you every chance it gets.

I wish Chocolate Chips rained from the skies.

[Fett One]

Granted but everyone eventually dies of dehydration since it no longer rains water, thus depleting the worlds water supply

I wish to see the new Indiana Jones movie

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but it's not the real version they show in cinemas but a new Indiana Jones movie made by me and it sucks.

I wish I could make my own movie.

[firepokemon]

Granted, but the critics hated hated it and you cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried some more.

I wish my Jug would hurry up and boil

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but by the time it finally boils, you are 100 years old and then you die of a heart attack.

I wish I could find the first Grand Theft Auto game (you know the 2D Graphic game where the view was top down.)

[Fett One]

Granted but you have to pay me $200 for my copy of it (I really do have it)

I wish super heroes were real

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but you realize they WERE real and aren't anymore. Yes, I know the grammatical rule about I wish-sentences, but I think nobody has granted a wish this way in the game before.

I wish someone else had a better twist for Fett One's wish.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you don't like the response to what I am about to say. Now they are real, you realize that they aren't as impressive as you thought they were. You realize that they are just like you except with certain abilities. So you don't like superheroes anymore and don't want to be rescued by any of them so you die in a accident.

I i h h n x c u l p s s o k d i e h s.
w s t e e t o p e o t l o e l k t i

[Crazy Elf Boy]

G a t d u t i r a l h r t a d h s a e y u h a e p o e
r n e b t h s e l y a d o n t i m k s o r e d x l d .

I i h h t o e n w u d o o e h n c o .
w s t a s m o e o l d s m t i g o l

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Suotu, mutta soin sen suomeksi.

Granted, but I granted it in Finnish.

I wish I knew what Inferno_Dragon and Crazy Elf Boy meant.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it is so crazy that you are driven mad and your friends look you up in a insane hospital beneath the crusts of the earth.

I wish they made a 3d version of Chip's Challenge.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but it comes obsolete because it is never as good as number 2

I wish people could read my last post

[firepokemon]

Granted, your wish is granted and they read the post, but they are incapable of understanding it.

I wish I was not getting a speeding ticket that I think is coming through the mail system :(

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Instead of getting one speeding ticket, you are getting one hundred speeding tickets, so pay up, firepokemon.

I wish that there was a policeman or policewoman in every neighbourhood.

[Fett One]

Granted but all of them are corrupt, so crime remains the same

I wish to have a talking dog

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it talks behind your back and spreads awful rumors around the neighborhood and everybody makes fun of you.

I wish I could have dinner with J.K. Rowling.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, you are at the restaurant and just as she is about to come in you die from a flying knife in the heart

I wish knives wouldn't fly

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but now if someone tries to throw a knife, it drops right on the person's toes.

I wish I was a fish.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted but you are a fish that is on dry land and before you can get to water, you sufficate and die.

I wish I had a set of attachable gills.

[firepokemon]

Granted, but people just see you as one hell of a freak.

I wish I had a decent wish to make but whenever I reply to this thread I seemingly can not make a decent wish.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but it just gets twisted with an unimaginative come back like explodes or you die

I wish people were more imaginative

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but their imaginations run wild causing bad stuff to happen.

I wish that nice friendly aliens would come to earth and give us technology to make earth a better place.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but their technology has too many problems with it, and the aliens are easily kicked off the earth.

I wish there was life on every planet.

[firepokemon]

Granted, there is life on every planet. But this causes planetary conflict in a universal scale the world, the galaxy, the solar system has never before seen. Soon the Earth is invaded by life forms from all over and the Earth is destroyed and soon these life forms start invading all the planets until there is just one dominant life form. Alien fly-like life-forms that are ugly and giant. Be scared, be afraid, and make a proper wish next time. As the consequences can be deadly.

I wish Knight of Time had not made his wish of life forms on every planet.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but now you just wiped out every single life form including everybody on earth. Congratulations, you just killed everything on earth (including the cockroaches).

I wish I was best friends with the Mythbuster team.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but they treat you horribly, thinking your friends and family aren't real.

I wish that other forums would stop "stealing" games from PCG.

[Fett One]

Granted, the other forums pay us to use these games but then we are get arrested for not paying taxes on the money that we were paid


I wish for a Family Guy spin-off staring Quigmire

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it isn't as great as Family Guy. It lasts one episode and then it is canceled and the pilot episode is destroyed so it will be never shown again.

I wish that Family Guy would last several seasons at least until its series finale without it getting canceled again.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but the final few seasons are a big flop and it gets canceled before the finale

I wish I could store all the information I wanted

[firepokemon]

Granted but oh dear me you suffer from major information overload because nothing is sorted. You can store all the information, but there is no way to process it. Thus whatever you are looking for, can not be found as it is full of information.

I wish my memory was better.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it is so good that it remembers the bad memories and those bad memories seem to keep up popping up in your head over and over and over again until you are driven mentally insane.

I wish I was Garfield's Owner.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but he tears up your couches and eats all your lasagna

I wish I could spell every word

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but over time, you will forget how to spell some words, due to your oversized vocabulary.

I wish there was a real spelling bee (hence, the insect of the same name learning how to spell, lol).

[Fett One]

Granted but it's so poisonous that no one can within 100 feet of it making it extremely difficult to ever see one

I wish to have a medical license

[firepokemon]

Granted, but the first time it is required you massively muck up and it is taken away forever. This was because well you shouldn't have had a medical license in the first place. You are also sued for the medical misadventure and must now pay 1 million dollars.

I wish Fett One didn't have to have his medical license taken away.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but all his credentials get taken away except for his one on ears

I wish that everyone knew what they were talking about

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but I use mr_pikachu's grant in v.3 to grant it.


Granted. Incidentally, some people believe that you become one with the universe and attain omniscience when you die.

And you'll notice it doesn't really suit in this context.

I wish mr_pikachu didn't see me copying him.

[firepokemon]

Granted but you cause Mr. Pikachu to disappear forever.

I wish Mr. Pikachu did not have to disappear forever.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but he has to leave because of some weird possibly made up reason

I wish that people would make up stuff

[Knight of Time]

Granted. All the people in the world, except for you, make the biggest vanilla cream pie in the world, and they throw it on top of you, upside down of course, trapping you under the pie plate.

I wish that there was a Crazy Elf Girl on TPM just for Crazy Elf Boy's sake.

[firepokemon]

Granted a Crazy Elf Girl comes to TPM, however, Crazy Elf Girl enjoys beating up Crazy Elf Boy and Crazy Elf Boy becomes scared and timid. When Crazy Elf Girl asks Crazy Elf Boy for marriage he seems to think he has no choice. Thus out comes Crazy Elf Junior who is found to be a real menace like its mother and it spams the TPM boards and eventually the whole Crazy Elf family are banned and forbidden from TPM forever.

I wish we were all transported into the pokemon world.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but we learn that the oxygen in the pokemon world is different than ours so we sufficate and die.

I wish that every time I made or granted a twisted wish, I would get 1 dollar which I would then donate to charity.

[Fett One]

Granted but you are given play money so the charities sue you for fraud since you are giving them play money

I wish president Bush wasn't an idiot

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Instead of being an idiot, president Bush is a stupid man's idiot (something I "copied" from the game Atomic Bomberman, as in a bigtime fool).

I wish everyone in the world had a connection to a royal family.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but in order to connected, they had to pay bunch of royalties to be considered related and since the amount is so high, people don't want to associate with any royal family.

I wish I knew the exact post count when a TPM game would end.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but you won't be granted the joy of surprise then.

I wish I could never forget good jokes.

[firepokemon]

Granted, but the jokes you tell have been told for years and thus they're no longer funny.

I wish the internet could handle sarcasm.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, unfortunately the internet can only handle sarcasm while every other way of talking is drowned out forever.

I wish people would take everything a little less serious

[Knight of Time]

Granted. All the people in the world become completely oblivious to one another, making it extremely easy for terrorists to wipe them off the planet.

I wish every day was like a Saturday.

[Fett One]

Granted but you still ahve to work 5 days a week

I wish to be best friends with the devil

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but being best friends with devil means he still tortures you and your soul, kills you and revives you with a painful manner, sends all your other friends to hell. You see, the devil is so evil that his impression of best friends is very strange.

I wish I never made typos.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Granted, but now you can only write in Chinese

I wish I could read and speak every language

[firepokemon]

Granted, but you end up mucking yourself up all the time, for you see when you're suppose to be speaking Chinese Mandarin you actually speak French. When you're talking to French people you speak Italian and so and so and so and so on. Then people ask you to translate everything and everyone in the world needs to talk to you, and because you know every language you know what everyone in the world is saying.

I wish I could speak and read and hear just one other language besides English.

[Fett One]

Granted, that language is garmanense, which is only known by one other person

I wish to have a universal translator so that I can understand all known languages

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but using the translator is very painful because it looks like and is like a pincushion
and every time you use it, you have to poke yourself.

I wish I had more chance to test my abilities at English, Swedish, Japanese, German, French, Chinese, Russian and Spanish.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but you forget how to speak and write your main language all together and now you can't communicate with any of your fellow country people.

I wish they was a 55-part episode about a lengthy Duel Monster Duel between the characters of Yu-Gi-Oh and Yu-Gi-Oh GX.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but this would result in a lot of extremely impatient people waiting for the end.

I wish I could see the future with my eyes closed.

[Fett One]

Granted but you only see alternate futures not the actual future

I wish it was nice and sunny every weekend

[firepokemon]

Granted it is nice and sunny every week. However, how does one interpret nice? Does that mean scorching days of high temperatures and little rain? Because unfortunately, that is what happened. The weekends were sunny and hot with no rain, this went on every weekend and slowly every single day until, people began to panic. For you see water supplies became low and the grass that was usually green, was now brown and dead. Soon there was no water left, and the council and government had to send in supplies. And then they sent in more supplies and more supplies. Until, that is there were no supplies left. Still sunny and nice, but no water. Thus people began to die off, and then more people, bottled water became highly desirable and soon a price for just one bottle was more than two weeks earnings. More people died and more yet it continued to be sunny and nice. Then one day, everything came to a stop, as the days continued to be nice and sunny. Nobody could appreciate how nice and sunny it was for they were all dead. All thanks to someone who wished for it to be sunny and nice every weekend.

I wish it rained sometimes but then was sunny sometimes.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Granted, but it is sunny when you don't want it to be sunny and rainy when you don't want it to be rainy. It all depends on the situation.

I wish I could know the winning numbers to the lottery every time so I could help people win money.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Every single person in the world asks for your help with the lottery of your region and they all now enter with the right numbers. But, naturally, because there are so many winners, even the hugest prize will be split and that leaves one person less than a cent. Now you are harassed by angry people who wanted the prize only for themselves.

I wish I could draw better.

[Fett One]

Granted, your skill at drawing increases by 0.00009

I wish to have a fully operational green latern power ring

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it loses power so fast, you can only use it sparingly.

I wish a light bulb would appear above my head each time I had an idea.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but some cartoon characters kill you for stealing their ideas.

I wish I could make quicker and yet better decisions.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Yes, but better to some is considered worse.

I wish I could come up with twisted wishes very quickly.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but that would be your only ability in life, so enjoy it as long as it lasts.

I wish I could someone's mind and realize they were a book in disguise.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but I'm not sure if I understood what you wished for, so I just granted it without knowing what I did and that probably kills me.

I wish everyone could have a permission to make one last wish before they die.

[Fett One]

Granted but the wishes only last for a few seconds

I wish children didn't talk back to their parents

[firepokemon]

Granted, but the children are just too perfect, that when Mother said, "Children go and play and don't come back". Well they didn't.

I wish that Crazy Elf Boy had of played the Pokemon Hangman game.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but he ends up getting most of the plushies, and as for duplicates, he doesn't make any of them for trade.

I wish Rambunctious Jamirus was back at Hangman, even though I'm not going to give her any more competition for plushies.

[Fett One]

Granted but she only makes a partial attempt at playing

I wish to become a ghost

[firepokemon]

Granted, you become a ghost and begin your long journey of spooking people. Unfortunately, its so much like real life that you become annoyed and rather bored of being a ghost. For you see, all new ghosts must go to ghost school, for at least five years to learn how to be a proper ghost and this requires plenty of assignments/ So enjoy being a ghost just realise it takes five years.

I wish I had super memory skills.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You end up remembering all the bad things that happened in your entire life, and you go so crazy over it, you end up in a mental insitution, and you'd wear a shirt saying "If I were a South Park character, I would be Tweek".

I wish that Inspector Gadget had every kind of gadget a human would want for surviving life.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. You now remember everything that ever happened in the history of the universe. Your brain must grow in mass to handle this amount of data; it expands until it is larger than a planet, instantly resulting in death through skull combustion.

I wish for a new Twisted Wishes thread.