TPM's Choose Your Own Adventure

[Andrew]

Dear TPM, I've wanted to do a general/misc story we can all get involved in together. Not some Fanfic only thing, so don't you DARE move this!

So this is like a Choose your own adventure book....

I'll give you some options at the end of each page and the most votes for each option wins.

So to start:

You wake up in your apartment, it's nicely, if not sparsely decorated. Throwing back your sheets, you get out of bed and look out the window, ready to face a new day. It seems a bit quiet outside, but still quite nice.

Going to the kitchen, you notice your housemates are still asleep. Your options:

Get breakfast then:

1) Do some morning exercise (Pushups, situps)
2) Log onto TPM.
3) Turn on TV and veg out

So choose!

[firepokemon]

o_O Years ago it would have been tpm (I wouldnt even go to the toilet first) but since this is tpm and all and even though I don't log onto tpm first anymore I'll stick with that option and pick 2) Log onto TPM.

[Zak]

Let's have that at #3 since that's probably what I would do.

[shazza]

1 becuase I am on a healthkick. :)

[Crazy Elf Boy]

I would pick 2 cause thats what I do in the morning since I don't have time for 1 and 3

[Crystal Mew]

If its my day off, I definitely pick #3. lol

[Toxicity]

I'm going to pick 1, as well.

[Clark]

#1.
wheres the option to go outside >>

[firepokemon]

#1.
wheres the option to go outside >>

Who wants to see you first thing in the morning?

[Clark]

I guess no one loves you. :)

[firepokemon]

I guess no one loves you. :)

Yes they do my 50-something boyfriend since October 2003 :p

[Andrew]

So option 1 wins.

Being the highly motivated and buff person you are, you have your healthy breakfast and start doing some pushups and situps and a couple chinups for good measure too. However you start making usual exercise sounds and you start hearing a few sounds from your housemate's room. Hey may just be having sex with his girlfriend again. What do you do?

1) Be a dick and burst in on them
2) Have a bit of a yell at him to quiet down
3) Pretend nothing is going on and do something else in the apartment.

[Toxicity]

3; I really don't care

[firepokemon]

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, Did I say 1.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

3 lol

[Zak]

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, Did I say 1.
.

[Blademaster]

1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, Did I say 1.

.

.

[Clark]

3. happens all the time at my friends apt so i dont really care anymore.

[Drago]

1! Especially if you mean it in the literal context. :heh:

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

3. I'll just listen carefully...

[Andrew]

With a tie at 4 all we'll go with 3) since I have deciding vote cause I'm writing it.

As you gussy yourself up, you hear moans and the occassional yelp from your housemate's room. Probably having sex again. The bastard! But because you're not only buff, you're also very respectful of his private space. Even if he isn't.

As you tend to getting every hair in place, you hear a bit of a scream from his room. Your housemate IS into a few freaky things and when he moved in, you didn't even ask about the box of toys that were evidently vibrating in the box. But there's another gutteral scream before silence.

Wow. You're all prettied up to go face the day in jeans, shirt and some sensible shoes. It's a Saturday, so let's see what you have planned.

1) Go and see your probably post-coital housemate and probably hang on his every whim. Just like his girlfriend
2) Ring a friend and organize to go out.
3) Sit on TPM and become morbidly obese.
4) Something else

You can also do a combo here.

[Toxicity]

2 and if they deny, 4

[firepokemon]

I like Toxicity's suggestions so I'm with her.

Edit: I feel mean thinking Toxicity was male :(

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

3. I always desire TPM.

[firepokemon]

3. I always desire TPM.

Thats one dangerous fetish you got there Mikachu.

[Zak]

Let's have it be 1.

[Crystal Mew]

Hmmm, I'd go with 2

[Blademaster]

4. Especially if the 'Something else' in question involves fire.

[Andrew]

Can I say, if you're going to do 4, don't make it too retarded. And actually SUGGEST something.

[Zak]

Can I say, if you're going to do 4, don't make it too retarded. And actually SUGGEST something.

And "involving fire" isn't enough of a suggestion?

[Crazy Elf Boy]

2 for me

[Andrew]

And "involving fire" isn't enough of a suggestion?

Please refer to Toxicity's post.

[Blademaster]

OK, fine.

4. Go outside and light bugs on fire with a magnifying glass or an aerosol can and lighter, then put it on Youtube (in shit quality, of course).

[Drago]

3. Because if I don't, who will?? :o

[shazza]

2 man, 2.

[Toxicity]

Edit: I feel mean thinking Toxicity was male :(

Aww, don't worry. I'm just happy somebody got confused for once. o_o

Anyway, here's my "something else":
4. Go look for a new swimsuit and a book to take out to the beach.

[Andrew]

Ok so it was overwhelmingly 2.

You hear another scream from your housemate's room, but because you're a lovely person you don't interrupt. You decide to ring one of your friends, but which one? Deciding on random who to ring, you dial the number,

"Hey! Sup!"

"OH GOD! Your mobile is working! Are you okay!?"

"Uh... yeah, what's wrong?"

"Zombies! Fucking ZOMBIES dude." they say with a hushed whisper.

"What?! Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"No, haven't you seen the news, internet or TALKED to someone? Electricity and phones are going on and off again, shit's going down... I knew living near the graveyard was a bad idea for me....."

And the phone cuts off.

What do you do?

1) Phone everyone you know?
2) Curl up in a ball and hide in your bathroom?
3) Stockpile supplies in your inner-city apartment, it's time to barricade the door?
4) Go check on your housemate?
5) Get on TPM
6) Fuck this shit, let's play Nintendo.
7) Go rescue your friend you've known since like, forever

[Crystal Mew]

7!!!!

[Crazy Elf Boy]

7 with 2 swords and a nail gun

[Crystalmaster Mike]

7, though I don't know whether the "friend" you're talking about is
a) the one who got "cut off",
or b) the one who's in his room and, in retrospect, was quite obviously NOT having intercourse.

[EDIT:] Ah yes, that's 5. Well, judging by the muffled screams and such, I think statistically the friend that simply got cut off has more chance of still being alive, instead of undead.

[firepokemon]

7 Although is this the friend that was like a slutty pants on heat and had sex with way too many guys or is this a normal friend?

[Blademaster]

Where the Hell is option 8: Sling the aluminum baseball bat over your back, grab the cordless buzzsaw, stick a can of hair spray and the barbecue lighter in your pocket, and go out and KICK SOME ASS. :hellyeah:

[Toxicity]

7, with two aluminum bats and a flamethrower if the former fails.

[Drago]

6) Fuck this shit, let's play Nintendo.
It isn't even the option most appealing to me, it just happens to be the best phrase known to mankind. Chuck in some Zombies Ate My Neighbours and you'll do fine. Sucks that it won't win. ...While everyone else is going to save their friend, I might just play Nintendo anyway. :lol:

[Andrew]

It's overwhelmingly 7.

As you walk towards the front door, unarmed, (There were no nail-guns, flamethrowers or sporting equipment around your sparse apartment) your housemate covered in bites and blood comes staggering out of his bedroom, missing a few fingers and screaming.

As he falls to the ground, his lanky and skinny frame covering the hallway you look to your housemate's bedroom as a terrified girl drenched in blood staggers her way towards you moaning.

What do you do? You can do a combo too.

1) Look for any sort of weapon.
2) Attack a) THe Girl with your bare hands.
b) Attack your housemate on the floor.
3) Run back to the a) Kitchen
b) Your room
c) Your bathroom
4) Screw you guys, I'm out of here! Jump over your housemate and run for the front door.
5) Jump on TPM and post about how terrible your housemate is, having loud sex and blocking your doorways.
6) Talk to the girl, and try to help your roomie.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

1

[mr_pikachu]

Gotta go with 5.

[firepokemon]

1. And then terrorise her to death and finally after I do one I will then obviously do 6.

[Crystal Mew]

1, and if I couldn't find a weapon then 4

[Drago]

2) Attack b) Attack your housemate on the floor. I reckon I could take him.

[Blademaster]

3a.+1. (Kitchens are ideal breeding grounds for weapons.). If successful, then 2b.; if not, then 4. 'Cuz the person that runs away in these kinds of scenarios in movies almost always dies, and if Johnny Fucktard over there don't have a fucking weapon in his KITCHEN, he deserves it.

[Crystalmaster Mike]

3 a) --> 1 --> 6

Seems the most succesful scenario to survive with.

[Toxicity]

3a -> 1 -> 6

I second CMM, pretty much.