View Full Version : *~ RPG NEWS: October Edition ~*

9th October 2008, 12:23 PM
*~ RPG NEWS ~*
October Edition

Greetings RPGers! We've been blessed with a recent rise in activity in the past month or so, and due to that rise of activity the RPG News is now officially beginning! It was a bit of a process and I personally appologize for the delay. Due to my random excursion into Beijing for a week and some last-minute article work, the News was a tad bit delayed. Yet, never fear! The News has officially started and it is still October, thus I will count this as a success!

We have some nice articles and fun little tid bits in this news edition. Mew Master has been kind enough to lead the charge in articles, sending not one, but two articles AND and interview that he did with Drusilla! The interview is really nicely done and I highly recommend it! We also have a nice RPG fandom story, written by our very own Weasel Overlord. She was kind enough to share it for the News edition for all to enjoy! Not only that, but we have an article written by me on how make RPG posting more enjoyable along with awards and more highlights!

Why We Role Play - Mew Master
Interview with Drusilla - Mew Master
Injecting Flair Into Your Posts - Bulbasaur4
What is an RPG? - Mew Master
One Bad Week - Weasel Overlord
Dear Bulbie - Bulbasaur4
RPG Monthly Awards

Why we Role-Play
Mew Master

“An interesting thing this is, the games of being something more than you actually are.”

For a few months now, I’ve been having feelings of uselessness and utter stupidity. I enjoy playing Table-Top RPGs, you know, Dungeons and Dragons, World of Darkness, Fireborn, Sword and Sorcery, Magic the Gathering, things like that. Now I know I’m not the best one to start quoting rules to everyone, especially in some games where I don’t care for them because they have too much math and rules involved (D&D). The difference to this is the World of Darkness, where I have ran a Werewolf: The Forsaken campaign for the last two years. Even so, running a game is fun, but PLAYING in a game is even better. This time you’re in control of your destiny so long as the Game Master lets you get away with it.

However, as I’ve played in the d20 (20-sided Die for the non-Geeks) Star Wars, D&D, and other such games, I find my presence there… meaningless. I have to deal with other characters who can hack through a computer without rolling, where I actually have to, warriors who can kill three things in two hits where I only have a few weapons and abilities to my name. In short, my presence at these table-top RPGs seems to be limited to the fact that I’m there because they needed an extra, or they have too many. On average I just sit there and watch everyone play out because I don’t know what to do/say/anything.

I’ve heard my Geek Friends tell me otherwise, that I’m probably the most important character/person there at the table, but I can only think of a few instances. My Star Wars character (a 14 year-old Twi’lek master hacker) forced into getting married after 4 years on the run, and my Half-Dragon whose father was trying to become a God and disrupt the Pantheons. Other than these two instances, my characters are only there for show and maybe the sarcastic comments I make.

Even so, WHY do we Role-play? Why do we wish to become something more, a heroic battler against the legions of evil? Or a shamanistic Werewolf Detective who strives to keep the balance between the spirit and the flesh?

Here’s what I think.

We Role-play to escape reality. Just as we play video-games, read, or watch movies, we want to be entertained into forgetting how boring/stressful our lives really are. We need that extra thing to look forward to, since some of us have other obligations we can’t indulge in Role-Playing as much as we would like.

There’s also the aspect of running a game. Now I use this phrase loosely as it applies to both Table Top and Play-by-Post RPGs. I run Werewolf because on some level, it gives me a sense of control as opposed to the non-control I seem to have over my chaotic life. In essence, it lets me be in charge for at least two hours, controlling my player’s fate to a certain degree and the Dice controlling the rest. The problem with most Table-Top Games however is no one is interested in Character or Story of anyone, save for maybe the Game Master who uses that to screw with the player’s heads ^^U. This is different in Play-by-Post RPGs.

In an RPG you want to be drawn into an epic battle of good verses evil, full of villains, heroes, anti-heroes and the massive collateral damage that ensues. In short, the story matters. While more than often it’s the Game Master who makes the basic blue-prints for the story: a beginning, middle, end. It’s the players themselves who provide the intermission, the in between, the transition between the three aspects of that story. And in that transition, trials, and tribulations they explore more of their character.

Character is more than just a name, sex, physical description. It’s a being, an entity that the player creates that in some way mirrors parts of their personality or even a desire not to be what they really are and what they wish to be. I have come up with dozens (if not more) characters in my life. Granted many of them share my name, but when we start playing, don’t we wish to be more than we really are: The chosen of the Gods, world-class trainers, mages who toss flaming balls of doom upon their enemies, and so on. We desire to become tremendous with supernatural abilities that can shake the world down to their core. But more else, we want to express ourselves through the character in ways and situations that don’t happen in real life.

We desire to be more than we truly are. Delusions of Grandeur that we can talk and share stories about for years to come (although only with each other ^^U). That’s not all of it though. It’s a combination of Story, Character, and fun that makes us want to play. This is why I think we Role-Play, despite my feelings of stupidity and uselessness co-incited with my constant appearing for a month then disappearing for three. Doesn’t mean I don’t care bout y’all.


The PokéMasters Proudly Present…
Interview with an Art God
This month: Drusilla

Hello believers, non believers, followers, and those of a different breed. I am ~DR, the ART GOD… with 6 followers. *head-desk* But, today is not about me, it is about someone else! Yes, my mortal friends, I have been asked to go around and interview various members of your… RPG Forum, and add in a bit of my own artistic flare. So, First up is the lovely Drusilla!

*Summons her in a puff of smoke and sparkles*

~DR: Welcome Mortal!
Drusilla: Pshhh, Mortal... You know who you're talking to.

~DR: Indeed. Very well. Welcome Miss Dru, and thank you for allowing me the chance of interviewing you for the RPG Forum's Newsletter.
Drusilla: My pleasure.

~DR: Very well. To start, how long have you been a member of TPM?
Drusilla: Oh, geez... Seven and a half years, since April of '01.

~DR: What first brought you to the boards? Why?
Drusilla: I randomly stumbled upon the old TPM java/IRC chat, and participated there for four months before I registered for the forums... All because AniDean had a tongue-in-cheek RMT topic with an all rock type team. I then found the Fan Fic board, but other than the then-mod DH13, very few people read my work, and I was persuaded by a fellow chatter to check out the RPG board. The rest, as they say, is history.

~DR: Does your Screen Name hold any special significance, or is it just a stream of random letters to make a word-look-alike?
Drusilla: I was nicknamed Drusilla by the same chatter that pushed me towards the RPG forum, due to a slight resemblance to Juliet Landau, the actress that played Drusilla on Buffy. I also act kind of like Dru on occasion, too...

~DR: So the name you are known Forum-wide was a nickname in a Java Chat?
Drusilla: Yes.

~DR: What are some of your favorite Forums on the Boards?
Drusilla: RPG, of course... I've also been known to pop into Misc., PCG, and Fan Fic every once in a while. RPG takes total precident over the others, since that is my main interest.

~DR: Why do you Role Play? What makes the RPG Forum more inviting than the others?
Drusilla: Well, there are several reasons, mostly because I wish that my life was more exciting than it is. I also love to get into the minds of people who are similar to me, and yet entirely different, such as Poltergeist, who has to be one of my favorites. She's completely psycho, and doesn't care, and while I'm unstable, I DO care and can't be as free as she is. Nor can I walk through walls, but that's a little different, you know? Haha... I also love to be able to stretch my mind and my writing abilities with the help of others. It's so much more fun to write a story as a group, rather than by yourself. (I have been noted as saying that Fan Fic is just RPG for control freaks, XP Love you guys!) Working with others gives me new lengths to which I can push myself.

I get a freedom to work semi-anonymously, and I don't have to be afraid of making mistakes, because I know it's all part of a growing process. Every once in a while, I'll go back and look at my old work... and then cringe.

On the other hand, I get to see how much I've grown since then.

~DR: So do you consider RPG to just be a more fluid and interactive form of Fan Fic?
Drusilla: In a way, yes. If you look at the users that participate in both forums, there is quite a bit of overlap, as well. It makes sense that RPG started as a part of Fan Fic, but I'm glad that it's a seperate forum now. The dynamics are much different, but over all the idea is similar.

~DR: How so? Explain your reasoning if you can please.
Drusilla: Well, the dynamics ARE going to change when you have multiple people rather than one, possibly two. There's the whole control issue; when working with a group, everyone is going to have their own vision of what to do with thier own character. We often work together to create that, but no one really has any complete say over someone else's character. I'd say that this is the biggest difference...

There's also the aspect that a Fan Ficcer is looking for an audience to encourage pursuit of the project, while an RPGer is going to need interaction with their fellows to continue the storyline.

~DR: Very insightful.

~DR: What would you consider your top five Favorite RPGs that you have participated in?
Drusilla: Oh, man... There's a lot to choose from over the years....
~DR: Take your time if you have to.
Drusilla: I'm going to need to, hehe... Correct Souls Divine, or any of Bulba's angel RPGs, would be the first to my mind.
~DR: Yes, I remember you in the first one of hers. You were the psychotic Dark God who my character threw a piece of piping at.
Drusilla: Really? lol... I don't remember any details... Oy, I'm getting old. XD
~DR: XD Any more that you can recall Miss Drusilla?
Drusilla: The Scourge, of course. I keep hoping for inspiration to bring some life to it... Maybe we should discuss that after this?
~DR: Perhaps. We shall see. Any more, you still have three more choices.
Drusilla: There was a HP RPG that Ginger Cat ran, I believe... I liked that one, even though it died early. Both versions of Those Who Dream At Sunrise. And, if I may, Blood and Magick: The Coven. There were a lot of great character developments in that one.

~DR: Very well... Next Question is....What have been some of your own RPGs that you’ve started?
Drusilla: Well, the Blood and Magick series has been the biggest project of mine... Lapras Valley University... Horror High... Dream of the Archer... I think those are the few that may have gotten beyond page one in the past few years. There are many, many more farther back that did well, but I don't remember them. These days, I prefer to join the RPGs of others, mostly because my life has been so insane until the past few weeks.
~DR: Sorry to hear that. Hope everything works out for you.

~DR: So, something a little interesting since you mentioned character development... Who are some of the players/characters that you enjoy to RP with?
Drusilla: Haha, pretty much everyone.
~DR: Anyone in particular come to mind, or do you enjoy it so much that it's whoever's willing gets a chance?
Drusilla: Anyone who's game, anyone with whom I've been lucky to work with. I love everyone.

~DR: What have been some of your favorite characters to RP? I 'm sorry that should really be "Who."
Drusilla: Like I said before, Poltergeist (World of Heroes) is one of my current favorites, as are Vivian (Dual Natures) and Lillian (B&M3/Those Who Dream At Sunrise). From the past, Auril (Scourge), Sorcha (B&M/B&M2), and my alter ego Bloody Raven (Horror High).
~DR: Would you mind telling why you enjoy the characters?
Drusilla: Oh, wow... Poltergeist lets me "act" the way I would if I could get away with it. Vivian is who I wish I was; Lillian is the part of me that is completely infatuated with the dark. Auril is somewhere in between Vivian and Lillian, I think... she's darker than Vivian, in personality, but she isn't as power hungry as Lillian is. Dear Sorcha is the perservering trooper that keeps going, even when the shit has hit the fan so many times, it's whipped. Bloody Raven was just plain fun, since it's my alter ego; she doesn't really care, since she's dead, lol.

~DR: Then tell us, if you would, where your inspiration comes from. For either (or both) the RPGs you've created and the characters you've played.
Drusilla: I draw a lot from music, and my interpretations. Dream of the Archer was almost completely based on the imagery I got from listening to the Heart song of the same name, for instance. Blood and Magick... I can't begin to tell you where I got it from. Partly from my wish for more heaven vs. hell RPGs, partly from missing Ginger, partly from music. I came up with it while I was going through my parent's divorce, so it was also an escape for me. Lapras Valley University was a twist on an old favorite of mine, so I PMed the creator of LVH, and she gave me the go ahead, since she was too busy to help with it. Horror High was, again, based on music, this time from a record label who released a compilation album titled Horror High Presents: The Prom Queen Massacre, which included narrations from Wednesday 13 (squee!). I was obsessed with the album, and decided to make a RPG based on the concept of the album.

As for characters... anything that comes to me while I'm reading the plot of an RPG. Often colored by whatever I'm listening to and feeling at the moment, I rarely know what kind of monster I'm creating at the time. I just go with the flow, and if a character isn't flowing, then it's not right and I take a step back and see what inspires me next.

So, over all, music is the biggest influence on me as an RPGer.

~DR: Who have been some of your favorite characters that are someone else’s?
Drusilla: I think you're picking the hardest questions possible, hehe... Not quite what you mean, but I think that Ginger Cat was the best character creater in the time I've been on TPM, followed closely by Bulba4. THERE was a terrific duo. I love your character Drako, Blademaster's Ivan and Enigma, Weasel's Tryfan... The rest of the Scourge cast... Samchu's Mateo... Oh, man... There are a lot more.

~DR: I'm not picking difficult questions, I assure you. Just those to let the members of RPG better understand their fellow RPers a bit better.
Drusilla: XP

~DR: I know we brushed upon this earlier, but, what do you think are some of the problems in Role Playing?
Drusilla: I think that we're all getting older, and have more responsibility. We've got car payments, insurance, jobs, school, lives offline... Years ago, we were mostly in middle and high school and had more free time. I think that we're trying to keep up that pace, but with less time on our hands... and that's where we end up with RPGs that start and then die. However, I'm SO glad that there's been a revival in the past few weeks.

~DR: Not quite the answer I was expecting, let me rephrase the question a bit. What are some of the problems in Role Playing dealing with other players and their characters?
Drusilla: Well, there's no telling where exactly a story line is going to go; take my B&M plots. I started over due to original cast consensus that it wasn't really where we wanted to go. We also have no control over what someone is going to do, as well, short of kicking someone out... However, I don't really see these as problems... more like challenges that keep things interesting.

~DR: Anything else that you enjoy to do in your spare time besides Role Play?
Drusilla: I've been playing a lot of Rappelz these days, much to the chagrin of many of the RPG community on TPM... sorry guys! I also write in my free time, play other computer RPGs, and read a LOT.

~DR: Any favorite books?
Drusilla: A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin is a current favorite. I'm desperately trying to find the next book. I also love The Dragon Queen by Alice Borchardt, The Sevenwaters Trillogy by Julliet Marillier, and absolutely anything by Laurell K. Hamilton.

~DR: Any oddities about yourself that you'd like others to know? Other random stuff you like/collect/obsess over?
Drusilla: Oh, well... I spend a little too much time finding new music, according to some. I don't think it's possible to spend too much time on such things... but I LOVE music. For instance, I'm looking up new stuff by Zombie Girl as we speak, hehe.

~DR: Any words of advice for those new to RPG?
Drusilla: Find your inner spirit, and play on that. Find what you love, and follow it. Don't fear mistakes, because no one is perfect at first. Some never make it to perfection, and that's fine. It's not about how you do on a ranking scale, it's about doing what you love.

~DR: Finally, if you ascended to God/Goddess-hood, would you destroy the world and start anew, let it continue on as is, or join a Pantheon with yours truly?
Drusilla: We created our pantheon, what kind of question is that?

~DR: Just giving some options out there...
Drusilla: lol

~DR: Well I'd like to thank you Miss Dru, for taking time out of your life for this interview. You do know that's an hour and a half you'll never get back.
Drusilla: Unfortunately... Hehe. Thank you, as well! ^^

~DR: I hope everything works out for you Dru. You are one of the more (in)famous faces in RPG.
Drusilla: XP That'sa me!

~DR: Farewell Drusilla, we shall see you prowling around the boards waiting for your next victim. And for everyone else, this is the Art God, leaving you with a better understanding of one of RPG’s members. Should you wish to be interviewed PM me and we shall get a schedule set up for you to be interviewed over an Instant Messaging system of some kind. Or, I’ll just summon someone at random. Until next moth, take care, and…


Injecting Flair Into Your Posts

I accuse... you! Yes, I thoroughly accuse you of having one of the most terrible, horrible, life-sucking diseases of RPG land! What is this disease, you say? Well, it's LackofFlairinPost Syndrom of course! Don't even try to deny it- everyone has had the disease strike them at one point or another.


This handy little guide I've whipped up will help give you ideas if you feel like you're in a slump! It'll help spruce up your post, making it look half-way decent even if you feel your writing is a little... well, lacking. Yet before you read on, my disclaimer: This is not a guide for how to put more action into your post, more drama, more emotion etc... this is just a basic guide to help you with little things. You'll see what I mean below!

1.) Label Your Post
This is one of my personal pet peeves, when it comes to posting. It is important to put a nice, bolded label at the top of your post. What you put in the label is up to you, but putting your character's name, gender and location is usually pretty helpful to others in the RPG. If you're in an RPG with many different species or different "powers", it is even nice to include those as well. It just helps everyone so they don't have to look up your character if they forgot how to spell names or if they simply forgot where exactly your character was located and etc.

2.) Add Some Music!
EVERYONE likes music, so wouldn't it be nice to set a tone for your post? For example, in the Furin RPG, I always start my post with the name of a song to let people know the music I was listening to when I wrote the piece - OR - a song that really sets the mood of the post itself. It's just nice to set the tone, and if people don't know the music they usually can find it on youtube and read your post while listening! (Or find some fun new music.) In my old Naruto RPG, I would change the music halfway into the post or at dramatic points, for fun to help add to the mood even more so. People liked it so much, that they downloaded the Naruto OSTs just so they could follow along and add their own.
Try it!

3.) Add Character Imput
It is also fun to put some quotes that your character would say or another character would say. It doesn't have to be related to the post at all, but it helps add extra info that people don't get from the RPG itself. I usually would put this in the 'title header' of your post, so not to get anyone confused and use a little different font or color. Simple, easy but a lot of fun and it helps flesh out your character a bit!

4.) Stick to a Color
When posting for a character, change colors depending on what character you're posting for. Just make sure to pick a nice color that doesn't bleed everyone's eyes out. When you stick with that color, it helps people find your posts easier and differentiates your characters from others- especially when you're posting for more than one!

5.) Play Around With Fonts, Bolds, etc...
Is your character having a dream sequence? Inner monologues? Rekindled emotions? Change up the font a bit to really hit home. There's nothing like reading a normal post, and then coming to a dramatic sequence where the font changes or the color in the post changes to really get it across. For example, if your character suddenly has a "voice in its head" don't just use quotations- use a different color, bold it or something really dramatic to give it a deeper effect! Is it a gentle voice? Then just use italics to get that gentle, nudging feeling. Is it a really loud voice or dramatic effect? Vary up the size! It really makes reading more interesting and helps get across the mood or point you were trying to make!

6.) Play Around
These were just small steps to help flair up a post, but don't be afraid to try something completely different! The more extra, juicy morsels you put into your post- the more pleasant it is to read. It'll have people look forward to your post and engage themselves a little bit more than they would have if you had just posted normally.

So AVOID LackofFlairinPost Syndome! Inject yourself with the antidote and keep those posts vibrant!

What is RPG?: A systematic breakdown of Role Playing Games and why we play them.
By: Mew Master

R.P.G. is an acronym that stands for Role Playing Game. It is a term that was originally used to describe the type of games that arose from Table Top Board games such as Dungeons and Dragons and eventually other games such as Star Wars that arose during the late 70s.

In modern years the phrase has been expanded to include electronic gaming such as Chrono Trigger, the Final Fantasy series, the Tales series, Phantasy Star Online, and World of Warcraft. Such to a point that these games, and others, are now referred to by the gaming community as Table Top RPGs and Electronic RPGs. However, the basic premise between them is the same, only the medium on which the game is played is different.

Despite the more recent emergence and classification of RPGs. A look back into one’s own past makes them realize that throughout their entire life they’ve played such games. Childhood games like “cowboys and Indians” and “Imagination” indulge our imaginations and help us develop. Then why, as young adults and adults, do we continue to play such games? But what does it mean to play in a Role Playing Game?

There are a few terms that we should understand before continuing on:

Player: The person who is controlling a character in the game.
Player Character (PC): A fictional character that the player created and is using to participate in the game.
Storyteller/Game Master/Dungeon Master (ST/GM/DM): The player who is running the game for others. They are responsible for the describing and providing the world that the Player Characters are interacting with. Including: Monsters, Non Player Characters (NPCs), dungeons, final say on rules/what happens chronologically, and a detailed description of the setting. For the purposes of the rest of this article I will use the Term Storyteller as opposed to the other two. Please keep in mind that the three are interchangeable.
Party: A group of PCs or characters that run into encounters and support each other during an adventure.
Non Player Character (NPC): A character created and controlled by the Storyteller who has no other purpose but to provide the PCs someone to interact with, push the story along, or generate an air of mystery.
Table Top: A version of an RPG where the Players sit around a table with a Storyteller. They have their characters Attributes, Abilities, Equipment, and other important information on a piece of paper. All parties roll dice to determine the outcome of challenges placed before them, and many such challenges can mean either the PC’s life or death.
Electronic: An RPG played on a console system or computer. On Console RPGs, the player has control over an entire party and characters integrated into the story. In Computer RPGs, the player has access to characters that are either controlled by the computer or other players over the internet and allows them all to interact without the constraints of some Table Top RPGS.

When one Role Plays, they take on the persona, or Role, of the character they create. Such creation is what makes the game enjoyable to play. The reason for this is that it allows an individual to make a character based on some aspect of his or herself. It lets them transcend their problems or stress of real life and gives them the opportunity to pop out of our world, and into one where adventure is around the corner, and not just another set of bills to pay.

Playing the game, is what drives it forward. In a Table Top RPG character interaction between the PCs and the NPCs is what many players wish for. They want to develop their character and their relationships. In long lived RPGs the characters develop from “first level” onto their more powerful versions and the trials and decisions that were made that affected them. Sometimes these choices and character building moments happen at the expense of a Storyteller who is a bit vengeful, or punishes the PCs for honest mistakes or oversight that the Player made dude to a lapse in judgment or memory.

And yet, the players still gather to play (save for really extreme circumstances) and continue the game. Why do they do this? Well for the most part, their characters are still under their control, and they can develop their character in any way they can, pending the experiences their character undergoes.

Console RPGs often have a plot that the characters (and player) have no choice but to follow a set story in which the characters gain levels along the way. Some allow for customization of the characters and the player to choose which of the characters they want in their party through most of the game.

Computer RPGs are similar in a few fashions. Massive Multiplayer Online (MMO) RPGs allow players from all over the world to interact with one another through the game. Each of them bringing their varying characteristics of character and history to the game. Some games require others to work in a party to accomplish some part of the game in order to advance further. For some, this is a general description of promoting interaction along an electronic interface where the face of the person is best described as a name or projected avatar.

This brings us to another form of RPG, commonly referred to as Play-by-Post (PbP) RPG. Which of course is the type of RPG that those on The PokéMasters Message Board Forum use.

Unlike those of the Table Top or Electronic variety, the Storyteller is the creator of the world, but also a PC in the game itself. They provide basic details of the world when searching for interest, and then gradually expand upon that pending feedback and aid from those that join. The Storyteller is responsible for keeping the game moving forward with drive and direction, however this can be relaxed in a way as the players themselves wish to develop their characters at the expense of the main plot.
What this type of game offers, is more story than the Table Top, and the Electronic Game. The main story is that of the characters, their goals, and eventual victory over those goals. However, in Electronic RPGs the story is stable and everything is scripted out from development. In Table Top, the players may feel that their characters that they enjoy to play are being undercut or forgotten in the heat of the game, and therefore no longer wish to play in the game anymore.

The chance for a player to fully act out their character, to build upon the interactions and trials of the game, is, for many, the reason they play. There’s also the overall story of the quest or adventure that they participate in. The characters may develop a bit, however finding out the result of their efforts is the reward they gain for spending the time in making a character.

To Role Play, is one where an individual lets loose of their mundane constrains. Granting the ability to become more than they feel they are. It offers an escape from the chaos and insanity of normal life. Instead of the businessperson, one can instead become a heralded for the Angel of Doom. A college Graduate might slay dragons as a mighty warrior. And even the most physically adept individual can be an intellectual who hurls fireballs from his fingertips.

To Game, is to have fun with others, the same feeling of sportsmanship from intramural sports, only without the heavy overtones of competition. There is no “winning” or “losing” (however, it can be argued that “winning” is having your character survive the game). It has interaction between individuals, face-to-face, or chat-to-chat to discuss plans, character stories, interactions, and even contemplate where the story goes. Until the final battle, the game, the story, the characters, all make the game worth playing. And the Role, a player decides to fill, is that which helps a player to even figure out more about themselves.

One Bad Week
Based off of Crystal Tear's Darkness Descends RPG
RPG Fan Fiction By Weasel Overlord


It is Monday. The problem with Mondays, Sirius and Adair feel, is that they end the weekend, and start the week. And a bad Monday can have repercussions for the rest of the week...

“Sirius. Sirius? CAPTAIN!”

“What is it, Adair?”

“I think you should see this...”

“I didn’t know there was a tiny deserted island in the middle of the ocean, flourishing with palm trees and coconuts and virile-looking women... did you, Stroud?”

“No sir, haha, although I’m not complaining. Because – oh look, we seem to be heading in that direction... how coincidental...”

“Good man, Stroud. Good man.”


“Well, I didn’t know that the natives of small deserted-looking islands in the middle of the ocean were so... vigorous... did you, Stroud?” Sirius rubs his aching muscles with a grimace.

“They certainly evolved some creativity considering their isolation, sir...”

“Yes, indeed, indeed... I’d never have thought that there were so many uses for a carrot...”

Sometimes, deserted-looking islands in the middle of the ocean are best left alone. Especially if the natives grow vegetables.


Kalani is a popular surname in Ivalice. In fact, the Kalani women seem to be everywhere. Like rabbits.

Sirius and Adair do not complain. Especially not when the women do so love a dashing pirate of the skies. And especially not when some of them like more than one dashing pirate of the skies at once. Oh no.

Tuesday is infinitely better than Monday. Bronzed women surround Sirius and Adair, their high-pitched chatter somewhat soothing after the vegetable escapade of yesterday.

Not only are the women extremely beautiful – they are also rather agile. Bendy, one might say.

The problem with Tuesdays is that sometimes, the large, influential fathers of Kalani women come home early, and catch you enthusiastically licking various body parts of their favourite virginal daughter.

Sometimes, Tuesdays are worse than Mondays.


cannot possibly be worse than Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday is the middle of the week, if things are going to get better, now is the time when they will. Sirius and Adair love Wednesdays. Wednesdays are when they pick up a mark and go a’huntin’.


Mandragora Prince

Last Seen: Sochen Cave Palace

Reward: 50,000 gil

As much as Adair and Sirius despise Sochen, they will go to almost any measure for 50.000 gil, even if the client is a small child, and the mark poster is a scribble on old parchment.

They bloody their swords on zombies, relishing in the battle until finally, they come across the “deadly” enemy; the Mandragora Prince -

- it’s tiny. A strain of Mandragora gone sour, its tomato head grimacing in fury as Sirius and Adair raid its carefully hidden lair - it doesn’t even come up to Sirius’ knee.

Adair roars with laughter, and the Prince attacks.


Staggering back aboard the Wolfstar, Sirius and Adair vow never to mess with the Prince again.

“Those damn fangs hurt when it sinks them into your arse, Sirius my man.” Adair grimaces, rubbing his bleeding bottom.

Sirius is slightly worse-off... his leather pants irrevocably torn in a highly inconvenient place.

“Well, I suppose it could count as advertising...” he prods the torn leather forlornly.

Wednesdays, despite being the middle of the week, are equally as shite as Mondays and Tuesdays put together.


Sirius and Adair feel the onset of the weekend upon them. Thursdays are infinitely better than Wednesdays; only one more day until blessed, blessed weekend descends.

The Wolfstar lands in Rabanastre just in time to witness the onslaught of a new craze.

Three men, clad in black, stride to the front of the bedecked stage, each one clutching a microphone in his right hand. Clapping from the crowd drowns out the words of the black-haired man in the centre, but the roar of the gathered speaks louder than words.

The men spin into their routine as Sirius and Adair look on, gaping in awe at the hordes of screaming women who start to tear off their clothes and throw them onto the stage.

“Why don’t women do that to us?” Adair has to shout over the screams of the women, and the thumping beat that reverberates through the floor and up through their feet.

“Dance, nothing left for me to do but dance!”

The three men spin and twirl, flinging their arms out in every direction and looking just as camp as any black-clad man doing a cheerleading dance can possibly look as they shake their funky stuff.

Sirius and Adair decide that they no longer like Thursdays. Especially not when three men doing an extremely gay dance routine make them feel like unutterably inadequate examples of the male sex.


Fridays are the end of the week. Fridays cannot possibly turn out to be bad. By their sheer association with the weekend, Fridays should be absolutely spectacular.

Sirius and Adair are surprised that so far, their Friday has not been at all spectacular. In fact, it’s been frankly the opposite of spectacular. Unspectacular, you might even say.

Sirius and Adair are also surprised when they wake up tangled up in each other in the middle of a small, dark room, completely stark bullock naked.

They clutch their heads and hide their privates as they shuffle away to opposite sides of the suddenly-very-small room, trying to get some space between their nakedness and each other as they hunt for their clothes.

Since the day can only get worse, they are marginally unsurprised when their clothes are nowhere to be found.

Sirius, however, decides to make the best of things, and he stands up straight, dusts off his shoulders and wrists as if he is wearing his favourite red shirt, and strides over to the door.

He gives it a good kicking, and is very surprised to find that it swings open casually, with nary a sound. He makes a “follow me” motion to Adair, who takes somewhat more care to hide himself than his captain does, and struts into the empty corridor.

Sirius has no idea where they are, but this does not stop him taking back possession of his clothes, effects and sword, as well as kicking some arse on the way.

Sirius and Adair have no idea what happened to them, but they have most definitely learned not to take free booze off shady characters in the Sandsea on a Friday night.


Surely the first day of the weekend cannot be terrible. Saturdays, by tradition, have always been the best days of the week; only ever surpassed by Sundays.

And so, Sirius and Adair are not in the least bit surprised to find themselves in the company of four extremely desirable women – two each, in fact.

Sirius gets first pick. It’s always been the deal, so he takes charge of the tall, brown-haired one and the shorter one with the huge breasts, and Adair settles for the two blonde sisters.

It isn’t until a number of hours later when Sirius and Adair begin to suspect that something is not quite right about the four desirable – yet still fully clothed – women. Like the fact that, while they themselves will show no flesh other than arms and bellies, they are perfectly happy for Sirius and Adair to be extremely naked.

And then there is the fact that their faces are somewhat prickly, for women.

Almost as if... they... haven’t shaved for a few days...


Needless to say, it does not take long, after this revelation, for Sirius and Adair to bugger off post haste.

Clearly this Saturday has not heard of the tradition that Saturdays are good days.


will obviously be an improvement on the rest of the week. The day of rest, and all that.

So why have Sirius and Adair spent the last seven hours being pursued by two extremely tenacious (and not to mention creative) bounty hunters?

They are perfectly aware that many people would dearly love to see their heads on spiky poles in exchange for lots of gil. In fact, if the price was right, either one would probably sell out the other. But for now, Sirius and Adair are content with scarpering like there’s no tomorrow.

Which is a phrase that looms ominously over their heads, in light of the present situation; and Sirius and Adair don’t hate Mondays quite that much.

Their sense of self-preservation has kicked in, and they are preparing to prod buttock and seriously buckle some swash (while running like hell, of course – they aren’t stupid after all).

Unfortunately, the Wolfstar hasn’t quite got the hang of self-preservation, and seems to be encountering some trouble with her parse crystals.


“Well, look on the bright side... there’s no cross-dressers with vegetable fetishes on this island, Sirius.” Adair is uncommonly cheerful, considering the fact that they have crashed spectacularly on the unnamed continent, where it seems to do nothing but rain, snow or hail. All the time.

For Sirius and Adair, this has been one hell of a bad week.

Dear Bulbie

Dear Bulbie,

I know you're in China now; is there anything specific they won't let you post about?


Dear MToolen,

This is just between you, me and the RPG news, but they won't let me tell you about the secret experiments that they're running in the post offices. That's right- post offices. China has these new modern post offices, but beneath them are secret lairs where they conduct experiments on cows. Ever wonder why the beef in China tastes like crap? (Probably not... but still...) It's due to all the experimentation EVERY SINGLE cow has gone under. Poor things look like a radioactive egg plant when they're all said and done.

But I didn't tell you this.

Your Friend,


If you could bring back any of the old RPGs that you've done, which would it be and why? (Assume that the cast or lack thereof is not a problem.)

- Drusilla

Dear Drusilla,

That is a really tough question indeed, and it is hard to pick from all the RPGs I've obsessed over in my time. If I had to pick one RPG to get fully played out and finished with all the quality cast members that I could ever want though... I'd probably pick my old Angel's RPG, "Correct Souls Divine." That RPG was so much fun to come up with! I had all the Angels figured out- heck, I even made a website to help everyone out with the differences. And then I came up with three really cool demon species that played minor roles in the RPG, which was fun to think of. PLUS, the original cast for that RPG was phenomenal... I think that was back when Prof. JBWolf posted consistently too!! (Heh, luv yah Wolfy-kun!) It was really neat to see how creative people could get with their powers and how wonderfully they interacted in their messed up RPG world.

Your Evil Twin,


RPG of the Month
World of Heroes
By Heald

This RPG took off with a very comic-book style, "BANG!" Just going through the RPG and reading the quality posts is enough to win this RPG the monthly award. All of the characters are quite unique and under the gentle guidance of Heald, already they've progressed to encounter a mysterious alien creature! My favorite part about the RPG is the character interaction- they're all so unique, it is hilarious to read their confrontations with each other.

RPG Quote of the Month
World of Heroes

Have you ever just looked up and seen something you never expected?

Sigil thought that she was unable experience shock, but her jaw dropped just enough for her mouth to open, and no reasonable explanation came to mind as she stared at the creature lying on her hood. She was a logical thinker, obviously there HAD to be an explanation for this.

Why was there a two ton lizard lying on her hood?

RPG Artwork of the Month
Blood and Magick 3: Chaos Legions by Drusilla
Lillian Slade, as drawn by Mew Master (http://dr-studios.deviantart.com/art/COM-Lillian-Slade-99119015)

Well... that wraps up the October Edition of the RPG News! Remember, if you have anything you'd like to submit, feel free to contact Weasel Overlord as she is doing the next News Edition! We're looking for articles, recommendations for Awards, fandoms etc... So come one, come all! (And always, I'm looking for questions for my "Dear Bulbie" article. :3)

~ Bulbasaur4

Weasel Overlord
9th October 2008, 01:31 PM
Yaay! Good job Kalah! My favourite bit was the interview with Drusilla, I think. It's always nice to read an interview, and let's face it - I bet most people want to be interviewed themselves, lol.

9th October 2008, 03:20 PM
Hmm somewhat strange and interesting. I liked it. Rather long but that isn't a bad thing. Being not a RPGer, only being in a few and not really a RPG gamer or anything. Its interesting to see point of views and stuff. I always like these types of things. They remind me of the columns TPM use to have on the site.

Nice job.

Mew Master
9th October 2008, 03:38 PM
Why of COURSE they do my Dear Weasei Underlady! Which is why I took up the job of being... well..the forefront in that department. <<U My only issue is that if I give the interviews, then I don't get interviewed myself... and the Art God, no matter how (un)powerful he is, cannot honestly interview himself without any sort of bias..

I think the whole thing was wonderful Bulba4, and now... I'll just be in charge of interviews and some random stuff submitted here and there... Next interview... I have no clue, but I shall find out soon.

Ultimate Charizard
18th October 2008, 10:20 PM
Glad to see this back. Im looking to 'inject' myself back into the boards (not to mention slap my RPG awake) and this is a good way for me to catch up (and possibly push for self satisfying recognition as an interviewee ;) lol)
I do think more than 3 awards would be usefull though. I know its tough with not that many active rpg's but some charachter stuff and perhaps more than 1 quote if theres a few since if you think about any TV show youve ever watched you can always think of at least a Dozen quotes.

All in all though Good work guys :)