How do you behave both online and in reality?

[Dark-San]

Imagine that you are a weakling in high school. For no reason, you get whacked, bullied and have to undergo several mental torture that were forced onto you by your fellow peers. Sad but true in today's civilized society, even though we have preached about human rights and disgraced barbaric acts, these bullying situation does not just stop. In fact, it does not just happen in one part of the world! Every countries, every nations' schools and childcare, there are such problems existing. So much so, I would called it a global phenomena. The problem got so bad that in Japan, the government had to step in and have to look into their educational system.

These weaklings for the case of Japan, commit suicide, thinking that it is their only way out into this world. For others, they just merely enclosed themselves into their only corner and hide. Of course for today's topic, we are looking at a niche group of these weaklings, the groups that went on to become cyber bullies. Instead letting our emotions get the better of us, we should sometimes think for a moment for these guys. You have to feel sorry for them that they have to resort to such acts to satisfy themselves.

Of course in the connected world, cyber bullies aren't just the only ones around. You will see lots of characters. You have the atheists, the racist, the idiots etc. Besides the cyber bullies being one of the most prominent character, you will also get to see the 'rule enforcers' occasionally. One thing is for sure that these group of rule enforcers need not be the moderators or administrators, they could be one of those people who are not even in any official position but yet they forced their beliefs onto you and if even if you make a little mistake, they will report it to the authorities. I have been in the net long enough. These those non-official 'rule enforcers' would just be clowns or even bootlickers.

Even academics have to offer some guidelines on how we should behave online.



... Virginia Shea, author of Netiquette, has developed ten 'Rules of ethical behaviour in using the Internet' (www.albion.com/netiquette/corerules.html).

1) Remember the human.
2) Adhere to the same standards of behaviour online that you follow in real life.
3) Know where you are in cyberspace.
4) Respect other people's time and bandwidth.
5) Make yourself look good online.
6) Share expert knowledge.
7) Help keep flames under control.
8) Respect other people's privacy.
9) Don't abuse your power.
10) Be forgiving of other people's mistakes.

We would like to add an eleventh and twelfth:

11) Be just as careful in cyberspace as you would be in a foreign country
12) Don't be a yobbo in cyberspace! ...

To be frank when I read this portion of the text, I have to say that I myself is no angel. I have flout most of these 'Rules of ethical behaviour' in my ten years of Internet usage, particularly Rules 4, 5, 7, 8 and 10. How many of those rules have you broken in your entire life of Internet usage? And what incidents did you do to break them?

Damn those communication academics for making me feel guilty now.

All of us should focus our attention on Rule 2. Do we believe the same way as we are on the net as in reality? Not so sure about you dudes, but I am pretty much the same. Anime otaku and all. How about you?

[Weasel Overlord]

I behave almost exactly the same online as I do in real life. Well, apart from the fact that I talk more to people I don't know very well online. I'm really shy and quiet in reality. Well, until I get to know someone. And even then, I'm probably not as talkative as I am online.

I think this is cos I'm not very good at speaking. Public speaking, I hate. If I'm talking to someone I don't know very well, I can't think of things to say. Whereas when I write, I suddenly become much more... well... probably intelligent-sounding. I express myself better. In speaking, I have this problem with my memory, so I'll suddenly forget what I was going to say, or a word or whatever.

And as for the bullying... well, yeah, I was one of those people at school. And college as well, partly. I think it's probably one of the main reasons why I'm so quiet in reality.
Just gotta say though... doesn't mean you're a weakling, just cos you get bullied. With me, it was cos I have ginger hair and wear glasses for reading. Oh, and cos I didn't conform to the musical tastes of my old school.

[classy_cat18]

I act the same way in both worlds. I sometimes even seem irritated online if I've had a bad day. But most of the time I try to suppress that. I'm also very blunt no matter where I am. I say pretty much what's on my mind, even when I don't think I should.

And I know very well about bullying. But if you're not one of them then you're a target. At least, that's how I saw it.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Of course in the connected world, cyber bullies aren't just the only ones around. You will see lots of characters. You have the atheists, the racist, the idiots etc.

Sorry about the interruption, but an unessential question, why do you mention atheists here?

Anyways, let's have a look, if I got these right...

1) Remember the human.

Yes, I do. My posts in 'Questions Only' may be awkward and my comment about Bulbapedia in 'TPM Pokedex Data - From archives.' sarcastic but I try to make replies everyone would be pleased to reaad.

2) Adhere to the same standards of behaviour online that you follow in real life.

In real life, I'm more talkative than the stereotypical Finn. I say comments to strangers and I think TPM has actually made me more social. My own little joke: Some people know how to speak to girls and others don't. But when I meet a girl, the first thing I ask is: "What's your favourite Pokemon?".

3) Know where you are in cyberspace.

Well I know I'm at TPM. This rule sounds a little stupid when I talk about the sites I mostly use because virtually anybody in the world can see what I write. Irc-galleria is a Finnish chat site and there I shouldn't reveal my private things either eventhough it's in Finnish, a language spoken by less than 0,1% of world's population. Luckily I realized how that site sucks soon enough.

4) Respect other people's time and bandwidth.

No, I don't. Reading this post of mine IS a waste of time.

5) Make yourself look good online.

This I think I succeed in. After the school shooting in Kauhajoki, I changed my signature and avatar in my former school's forum because the former read 'ABSOLUTE TERROR FIELD' and the latter featured a meteor almost hitting the school.

6) Share expert knowledge.

Yes, I do but it looks snobby when I try to discuss Finnish grammar here.

7) Help keep flames under control.

I'm not a moderator and they are the ones who can step in if there is flaming. Of course this might mean your own flames, which everyone can control if they want. Of course, you can also try to avoid feeding the flames, but it's sometimes difficult.

8) Respect other people's privacy.

Asking too curious questions is what's meant, is it? I agree becuase if I ask you a personal question, I should be supposed to answer the same kind of question in front of the whole internet. Or if this meant flooding with E-mail or something, I have stopped writing messages to certain people because it seems they aren't interested enough to reply.

9) Don't abuse your power.

What power?

10) Be forgiving of other people's mistakes.

In both real life and online, I remember only my own mistakes in the end.

11) Be just as careful in cyberspace as you would be in a foreign country

Yes.

12) Don't be a yobbo in cyberspace!

What's 'yobbo'?

I replied to this and know only a little of the Internet outside TPM. Heck, I know only a little about TPM, you could say as well!

[mistysakura]

Mm, I also disagree with referring to victims of bullying as weaklings, and grouping atheists with racists and idiots. Anyway, I act pretty much the same online as in real life. Or rather, online, I act the way I'd like to act in real life if I weren't shy. For me, it's easier to get a word in when I'm writing -- in some friendship groups, my friends talk so much it's hard to be heard (and it's hard to get a word in quickly enough before someone else says what's on your mind). Like Weas, I also sound smarter when writing -- perhaps my hands are smarter than my mouth. I think it's because writing gives me time to think.

Re: the guidelines, 2. contradicts everything else! What if you're a yobbo in real life? To thine own self be true, I say! :P

[Bulbasaur4]

I bully Prof.JbWolf, does that count? xD No, but really... I act pretty much the same online as I do in real life. I think when I type, for instance on AIM, my cheerful attitude comes across more 'hyper' than I actually am, but if you look at it loosely I come across roughly the same.

For slight differences, I'd say I probably act happier on the internet then in real life. That's just because I'm very sarcastic IRL, but over the internet that doesn't come out in flying colors. I'm a very happy person though, just don't always broadcast it. xD

As for internet bullies and the other roles... well, life has parts for us to play on every stage. Whether it be the work place, the school, or the internet...

[Drago]

I adjust my online persona accordingly; here at TPM is likely the most accurate representation of myself, pleasant and upbeat, and decidedly eager to please. I suppose this is in part because I've been around here for so long that I no longer feel a need to try and be anything I'm not; not one of the hip upbeat folk nor the rebellious misfit. Just another average Joe.

As I would in real life, for other places I adjust my personality as the situation requires. On a Titans forum I'm less personable and something of an informed wiseass, while at a Nintendo forum where I'm pretty much a nobody I just go about being as inoffensive as possible. There were other forums where I'd play the role of the jerk; not bullying people but laying down my opinions, harsh as they may have been, without sugar-coating it. I always had fun doing this, because I didn't generally feel any kind of attachment to these places so if I ended up making an idiot of myself I could sod off without any consequence.

[Andrew]

I've met Tara and Tony IRL so they can testify how I am different to the forums to not being here. lol.

[RedStarWarrior]

I live both lives roughly the same.

I speak my mind and do what I want when I want. Of course, I try harder to not keep enemies IRL than OL.

[PancaKe]

I've met Tara and Tony IRL so they can testify how I am different to the forums to not being here. lol.


Andrew's a real bastard irl - seriously, what person leaves a half empty box of donuts at the Sydney Opera House? Gosh, how rude. lulz.

I think I'm the same. I'd like to say I'm the same. Although on youtube sometimes I am awkward, but thats just because I'm not used to talking on camera yet. Aside from that, on myspace everyone is fake, and of course you find yourself adapting to environments by what you write in your "about me" etc

Hopefully Andrew will agree that I'm the same IRL and at Tpm though! :P

Although sometimes I like to leave stupid comments on youtube vids and rate them one and be like "whomg you suck you cant even do your hair!!!21@!!1!!1one."


yay

[RedStarWarrior]

Andrew's a real bastard irl - seriously, what person leaves a half empty box of donuts at the Sydney Opera House? Gosh, how rude. lulz.

I think I'm the same. I'd like to say I'm the same. Although on youtube sometimes I am awkward, but thats just because I'm not used to talking on camera yet. Aside from that, on myspace everyone is fake, and of course you find yourself adapting to environments by what you write in your "about me" etc

Hopefully Andrew will agree that I'm the same IRL and at Tpm though! :P

Although sometimes I like to leave stupid comments on youtube vids and rate them one and be like "whomg you suck you cant even do your hair!!!21@!!1!!1one."


yay
Actually, leaving donuts sounds like he's being a nice guy. Some random person comes along and they are all like "FREE DONUTS!"

[PancaKe]

There were two left in the box.

We watched the cleaning guy take them away.

I was so ashamed. Hahaha

[RedStarWarrior]

There were two left in the box.

We watched the cleaning guy take them away.

I was so ashamed. Hahaha
You must be a goody-goody.

[Andrew]

There are photos of it too.

We littered our national landmark....

[PancaKe]

You must be a goody-goody.


I don't think one has to be a goody-goody to not want to litter :P

[RedStarWarrior]

I don't think one has to be a goody-goody to not want to litter :P
Free donuts and litter are two different things.

[Crystal Mew]

I act pretty much the same irl as online. The only difference really is that I don't cuss irl as much as I do online...haha. but other than that....I act the same.

and I used to be mean to people back in the day, I feel bad about that now. oh well

[Number1ChanseyFan]

I am generally pretty much the same person IRL on online, but I am slightly more "myself" online, because I am not nearly as shy online as I am IRL. That is about the only aspect of me that is really different. In real life, I am extremely shy, and just kind of like to be in the background and not noticed much. However, online, I kinda like being the center of attention and being popular and stuff. My online self is more of an extrovert, and my IRL self in more of an introvert. I still do have a tiny bit of the shyness thing online when I don't know somebody, but I usually get over it fairly quickly. But the rest of me is pretty much the same... I generally try to be friendly to others, and I enjoy not being serious when I don't have to be!! ^_^

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

My own little joke: Some people know how to speak to girls and others don't. But when I meet a girl, the first thing I ask is: "What's your favourite Pokemon?".

I wasn't paying attention to my English, so my joke was ruined. I meant: 'Some guys know how to speak to girls and others don't. But when I meet a girl, the first thing I ask is: "What's your favourite Pokemon?".'

Hm, I've planned a topic called 'Truth about Mikachu Yukitatsu' but I don't know about it, there I'd reveal to the whole TPM who I am. Actually its name is stolen from firepokemon's topic 'Truth about firepokemon.' many years ago.

[shazza]

I adjust my online persona accordingly; here at TPM is likely the most accurate representation of myself, pleasant and upbeat, and decidedly eager to please. I suppose this is in part because I've been around here for so long that I no longer feel a need to try and be anything I'm not; not one of the hip upbeat folk nor the rebellious misfit. Just another average Joe.

As I would in real life, for other places I adjust my personality as the situation requires. On a Titans forum I'm less personable and something of an informed wiseass, while at a Nintendo forum where I'm pretty much a nobody I just go about being as inoffensive as possible. There were other forums where I'd play the role of the jerk; not bullying people but laying down my opinions, harsh as they may have been, without sugar-coating it. I always had fun doing this, because I didn't generally feel any kind of attachment to these places so if I ended up making an idiot of myself I could sod off without any consequence.

Speaking from personal experience, vastly adjusting your personallity felt like I did not know who I truly was. Which one was the true me? Do you feel this way? It is extremely relevant to personal insecurirites by attempting to fit in/please the specific social group; either online or real life.

Whether you agree or not is entirely upto you. :)

In regards to TPM, I've had an interesting experience of different "personas" during my eight years of activity. My early years (2000-2002) here I was incredibly naive, nice and insecure. I'd attempt to please everyone on this forum, suck up and yeah. Then from about 2003-2006 I purposely trolled and had probably broken every rule mentioned above.

Now I'm just being myself. I'm not out to please anyone. I'm not out to purposely troll. The same in real life. I'm not the nicest person around but I treat people with respect and friendly and expect the same in return. I'm simply myself.

However just like everyone else, obviously there is more or less differences with the way you act online in comparision to real life. They are completely two different social interactions. However I'm still me online as I am in real life.

If anything, I curse way more than I do in real life than I would online.

[mr_pikachu]

It's funny you mention that academics have gotten into this, Dark... this is exactly the sort of thing I study. If you want more insight into the topic, I suggest reading something like Cues filtered out, cues filtered in by Walther and Parks. It's a 2002 article that gives some pretty good insight into some of these things.

(Some things are a little complicated, I'll warn you; this is a research article, after all. But if you're genuinely interested in the differences between the web and real life, that's a good place to start.)

I'll answer the questions in more detail later. Right now I'm working on my midterm paper. Which, I might add, cites the article I just referenced.

...I love my major.

[Drago]

Speaking from personal experience, vastly adjusting your personallity felt like I did not know who I truly was. Which one was the true me? Do you feel this way? It is extremely relevant to personal insecurirites by attempting to fit in/please the specific social group; either online or real life.
I suppose I always felt as though all of the personalities were me, just exaggerated versions. I never really said or did anything that I wasn't genuinely feeling, but I suppose in the 'jerk forums' I was more inclined to respond to a comment I disagreed with with anger, simply because that option to shut them down was open - here at TPM, I like to maintain a level of respectability - even if someone really badly needs to have the verbal smackdown laid on them, I'm not going to go that far. Just calmly state my piece and move on.

If I were up for an adventure I'd create an entirely different persona altogether; offer opinions I might not necessarily agree with, create an entirely false history and personality... The anonymity of the Internet is a wonderfully frightening thing. Wasn't there a TPM member called Kasumi or something of that nature who turned out to be a guy after years of masquerading as a female? It's just funny how anyone, as long as they're observant and consistent enough, can become a completely different person with a few simple keystrokes. I also seem to recall hearing of a blog written by a teenage lesbian, which turned out to be the fictional works of a 40-year-old man... But I digress.

[Andrew]

I'm still a jerk. But only to people I don't know and/or like.

Tony's very polite and he carries around a map.

Tara's great fun, but she doesn't carry a map :(

[DarkestLight]

Hrm. This is interesting.

I'm positively the same. I'm rally zany, and if you don't know me, then you think I' m quiet until you see me in action, and realize I'm a nutjob. I'm still cordial and what not, and I don't think I fall into any of those negative groups.

I feel if you are one person, be the same all around. Sure, there's a little give and go when it comes to the internetz because I have the ability to stall (afk=awesome!) and look for info (or not if the person is a nuisance) but all in all, I'm ME!

Dun think I'm a dick, just a bit weird. :P S'all good.

[PancaKe]

Tara's great fun, but she doesn't carry a map :(

LMAO!

I so knew where we were. I wanted to take you exploring, that's all :)

[shazza]

I want to meet fellow Australian's. :(

[Heald]

I went to Brisbane and a guy said "G'day mate". I'm pretty sure it was Andrew. In fact, I'm more or less 100% positive.

[PancaKe]

I want to meet fellow Australian's. :(

Well then you should come to sydney. It's clearly where all the best people live or visit. :D
And then I can buy you donuts too.

[shazza]

I heard Melbourne is where the party is at!

P.S: Your hair emo styling video will help a brotha out.

[PancaKe]

LOL did it help you?

[shazza]

No but if I was a chick trying to get that look I think I'd be pretty successful.

[midnightangel]

I was one of those 'victims of bullying' a long time ago. Mostly back then though it was the little brats, er my classmates stealing things and name calling. Nothing physical. I let them have their fun until they found out I wasn't fun to pick on and left me alone.

Only one time did anyone have the gall to tease me in high school. I wasn't as nice-looking as other girls, kind of plain actually. He asked me what language did I speak--Doberman or Terrier. I growled "Pit Bull. Leave Me Alone."
After that he and his little groupies were more polite. And they kept their distance. :P

Now IRL at work I am a total goof ball and full of fun, but at the same time, since I am the boss, I have to be the disciplinarian without being a total psycho "b" (We already have enough of those thank you) and be a teacher. It's not easy to do.

Online I seem to be more quiet and reserved. If I have something to say, I answer the question the best way I know how. I only hope I don't sound too sarcastic or make a complete idiot out of myself

[Jeff]

The way I act here is pretty much how I act offline. The only thing is that I'm more shy offline, but I still make it a point to be just as polite online as I am offline. I guess since it's not to their face, talking to people online is less intimidating, but that doesn't mean I should be intimidating them.

[RedStarWarrior]

The way I act here is pretty much how I act offline. The only thing is that I'm more shy offline, but I still make it a point to be just as polite online as I am offline. I guess since it's not to their face, talking to people online is less intimidating, but that doesn't mean I should be intimidating them.
Shut up, panzy.

(and congrats)

[Blademaster]

In real life, I'm more talkative than the stereotypical Finn.

There's a stereotype for Finns?

Oh, and I'm back. Hooray! You all thought you got rid of me, didn't you?

[Clark]

I'd say I'm slightly the same. Asshole occasionally, womanizer 24/7, sarcastic. I love myself so I don't care what anyone thinks, if someone doesn't like me, they shouldn't waste their time, because I will never give a fuck about it. Other than that my very close friends know I would do anything for them(I will kill, I'm not afraid of consequences) and have no problem listening and giving advice.
I'm the best, no one is remotely close to it, except the ones I love.
I will treat all the same, less than me, because thats what everyone is.
I'm not sure how much I do it online, but I cuss a lot in person. Though I've been working on curbing it, especially now that I work in a drug store.

[Fett One]

In real life I'm a shy person. When I first meet people I'm not very talkative and I rarely joke around. Once I get to know them, I become more talkative and start joking around a lot. As for online, when I talk to my friends I will make jokes I normally won't say in person. If I could see the looks on their faces, I would become really embarrassed (due to my shyness), which is why I only say them online, since I can't see their faces.

As for messages boards, I usually don't make posts that often because I can never think of anything to say. When I do post, I'm usually serious but I do make the occassional joke. Now that I'm thinking about it, this is the only message board that I post at on a regular basis (in PCG to be exact). All other message boards, I average 1 post a month if that.

[Andrew]

I went to Brisbane and a guy said "G'day mate". I'm pretty sure it was Andrew. In fact, I'm more or less 100% positive.

At that point in time, didn't you not to meet me at all from memory?

I remember you said you stayed at the Tin Billy Hostel or something.