What is Love? (Discussion)

[Asilynne]

Talk of love is everywhere. Movies, songs, books, poems, art; you cant throw a rock in our world without hitting something that was inspired by love somehow. Love hurts and scars, and yet love "lifts us up where we belong" but what is it really? As many different people as there are in this world so too are there interpretations for what love truely is. This topic may sound sappy, but certain recent events in my life made me realise that people have different ideas of what love is, and so out of curiousity, Id like to open it up for discussion here at TPM. Please think for a moment, and share what you think love is, be it a chemical reaction in the brain, a connection between two souls, or a useless plague upon humanity, or something in between. Since its a discussion, please be respectful to everyone else.
My opinion:
I think love is caring about someone else more than you care about yourself, its the willingness to do anything you can for their wellbeing. When you love someone you want them to be happy, even if that happiness means you must sacrifice your own. Love motivates you to do better, be better than you are, and it also motivates you to encourage and lift up the person you love. Love equals support, trust, thoughtfulness, kindness, loyalty and forgiveness.
That being said, on the flipside love can make you stupid, and cause you to tolerate things from someone that you normally would never dream of doing. Love can make you jealous and selfish, making people do negative things in the name of love or passion.
In essence, I believe in certain things that love is supposed to be, but I also know that people have their own versions of what love is and some versions arent compatible, because they foster the negative sides of love. Even so, whether this makes me naiive or not I still believe that its possible to love someone without all the negative side effects of it. So I guess generally I think its a good thing.

What do you think?
PS: In case I think of something later Ill be adding to my opinion <3 lol

[Mystic_clown]

Love, to me, well, I think you pretty much described it Asi. That warm feeling you get when you're around someone you care for, when you see them smile and know they are happy. That desire to only want them happy, and the sadness you get when they're sad.

[Telume]

<incomingobvioussarcasm>A song by Haddaway</incomingobvioussarcasm>

My opinion:

There's two types of love, unconditional and affectionate. Unconditional as in the one shared by parent and child and affectionate as in the one shared by a couple. Love isn't relative and personally I think we as people set too many standards on love.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1577953/Lolita-love-affair-scandalises-Italy.html

Good example ^

[Crystal Mew]

i've been wondering that myself lately, and I agree with your definition of love asi, and for me it takes time to fall in love with someone, I'm not sure why but yeah. my bf says he loves me, but I'm not quite there yet...

[shazza]

When I stick my hoo hoo dilly in her cha-cha.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

I always wanted it to be called love. But my substitute parents always said I only had a crush. I have had 3-5 big crushes/falling in love, but I have yet to find a two-sided romance. MaaREIto-sama only asked for my advise in Mathematics problems and wanted to see a GIF I made again and again.

[Blademaster]

Love is a conflicting thing because it is a combination of two wholly conflicting ideals: Instinct (The primal human urges to mate and to be around others of our kind.) and morality (The impactive, longstanding ideals of equality, tolerance, obedience, and respect taught to our race by select individuals throughout history.). These two ideals can be combined successfully, as seen in the love between many men and women (or men and men, women and women, etc.) across the world, but more often than not, they either are combined unsuccessfully or wholly disregarded in the name of another cause.

[Jeff]

Love is something I haven't experienced in far too long.:(

[Crystalmaster Mike]

Love is a stage I haven't reached yet.
Bringing back the old "Personalities of TPM" discussion, I'm more of a thinker than a feeler.
As a result, I've only experienced one kiddy love, and one crush. Sadly, lately, there's been a lot of lusting, but no love.

The combined facts of working in IT (lots of Adam, little Eve) and refusal to go out (I can't bear the thought of me walking up to someone I'm interested in) don't really help.

But love, true love, the one to withstand the ages, is, for me, in knowing the other's flaws and accepting them. Also in trying to make the other feel better when they're down. And love encompasses not bearing the feeling of not seeing the other for more than a couple of hours.
... My parents rock.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Bringing back the old "Personalities of TPM" discussion, I'm more of a thinker than a feeler.

"Nowadays people get married more becuase of feelings reasons.

It feels good."

Just as joke by a friend of mine.

[Heald]

Love is when for every waking second that you're apart from what it is you love, your yearning for it grows more and more, and you not only want to be with your love, you want to respect it, keep it and protect it at all costs.

For me, that love is whiskey.

[MToolen]

I feel very blessed to have love in my life. I see it in my parents between the two of them and in their relationship with me, whether it's a praise or it's discipline. I wouldn't be who I am today without their tutelage. I'm also able to experience love with my fiancée. It's crazy for me to realize, day after day, that someone would be able to stand me for all this time (much less choose me!).

I also feel loved by God, but that might be for another topic. In any case, I uphold that definition given of love where two parties consciously choose to uphold the other as more important and then act on that choice.

[PancaKe]

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...

That's what I think of every time someone asks that question

[Asilynne]

Same here actually lol which in turn reminds me of Night at the Roxbury....which begs the question, does Love = Night at the Roxbury?

[Telume]

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...

That's what I think of every time someone asks that question

THANK YOU! XD

I was waiting for someone to say that.

[PancaKe]

When I read through the thread, I was surprised nobody else had said anything.

[Asilynne]

I guess everyone else was treating it like a discussion *shrugs*

[PancaKe]

Except for shazza, who describd the birds and the bees

[Blademaster]

I thought he was describing the hoo hoo dillies and the cha-chas.

[Chris 2.1]

Love's a funny old thing. I'm not in love at the moment, but I've been in love twice in my life. What can I say, it's amazing that we can function like that.

[Bear]

I'm in love. Asi can vouch for this :).

I think the most important characteristic of love is the fact that it makes you do things that are contrary to your normal behavior. As a natural guard, we as humans put on a sort of "facade" to hide our true natures. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all do it. We emphasize the parts of our personality that we deem "cool" and we try to hide the parts that we see as "uncool".

However, love goes beyond this charade, and brings out the true nature of a person. That person finds their defenses ineffective against that person they love. Their heart is penetrated, fully and completely. This is where the truest and deepest friendships develop, since nothing is hidden from the other. This is love: that physical, mental, and spiritual connection that goes beyond the spoken word. It is not something that can be described, as those who are truly in love simply say "I just know."

That's the best way I can describe it, but I still have not done it justice. Trust me, love goes beyond all rationality and logic. When you're in love, you won't be able to put it in words, you'll just "know".

[pokemonrazer]

HI HOTTIE

thats what i think

[PancaKe]

I thought he was describing the hoo hoo dillies and the cha-chas.

Very true. I stand corrected.

Can someone tell me, how exactly do you discuss the birds and the bees? How on earth do people make this a reference to sex and how does cross species breeding work exactly....

[Asilynne]

Yes, James, you lucky bastard XD

Actually, without meaning to you guys have brought up an interesting view. Ive seen in this world some people that for whatever reason cant differentiate in their minds the difference between love and sex, they only feel loved if they are receiving physical or sexual attention. Its sad because for people that associate sex with love very strongly, it wouldnt matter to them how they are being treated by the person, as long as they keep getting physical attention from the person they will feel loved. It almost goes along with people who associate pain with love, I once heard a story of a girl that would always demand and taunt her boyfriend into hitting her because for some reason this is what made her feel loved. In my opinion both these views are pretty unhealthy versions of "love".

Also someone here said something that clicked with me, who was it....*scrolls up* Crystalmaster Mike! When he said that love is knowing and accepting other peoples faults and being there for them despite the faults. I think this is also true, because no one in this world is perfect, and even people who are deeply in love might be annoyed by some of the things the other does, but yet accept and love them anyway. However, even though I also think that love is accepting other peoples flaws, sometimes there can be a flaw that is an absolute dealbreaker, which will either cause love to fade or be evident that two people arent compatible (ie: cheating, dishonesty etc. Anything you absolutely cant live with).

[PancaKe]

Yeah its a sad reality.

It's okay, I don't define it that way though!

[MToolen]

When I read through the thread, I was surprised nobody else had said anything.


<incomingobvioussarcasm>A song by Haddaway</incomingobvioussarcasm>

Just making sure credit is given where credit is due.

[DarkTemplarZero]

Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds.

Can't believe that one hasn't been posted yet.

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, well, well... the question of all mankind has been set once more...

I'll go straight to the point. I have to agree with author Erich Fromm when he says: Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort. Or is love a pleasant sensation, which to experience is a matter of chance, something one "falls into" if one is lucky? This little book (The Art of Loving) is based on the former premise, while undoubtedly the majority of people today believe in the latter.

I believe that love is more like a decision that one makes and fulfills in one's life.

When we have a crush (which I believe it happens when you get to know a person of the opposite sex for at least three months), we find ourselves amazed, because we discover many things (like: "we have a lot in common", "we think alike", "I feel butterflies on my stomach") that makes us feel happy.

...I believe that love comes after this experience, because it is after that "crush cloud" that we begin to see the reality... how the person really is... what we do like and what we do not like... and many other things that we get to know when we "put our feet on earth".

Also, this might sound kinda rash, but usually, when we let our feelings guide us (including the love feeling), we end up making many mistakes (hence pregnancy in teenagers: ask them if they their mind or the feelings guide them just before the "relationship")

So I believe that, mainly there are three advices that let one know when one is really in love:

1-Do not let yourself be guided by your feelings, but by your mind instead.
2-Love is to give, and not to receive. So "what can I do for you?" not "what can you do for me?"
3-Care for the person, have responsibility with that person, respect that person, and get to know her for a reasonable amount of time (knowledge).

You are not driven by love...you decide to love, so take the wheel and drive.

[Jeff]

According to Wolfram Alpha, it's a misspelling for Lave, a language (http://www39.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=What+is+love%3F).

[Asilynne]

Wow Shadow Wolf, thats some really deep stuff there, thanks for that ^-^
Theres a lot of truth in what you said. I especially like the numbered list you set down, although for me #1 is really hard. Im a very emotional person so sometimes its hard for me to step back and think rather than feel ^-^() Numbers 2 and 3 I very much agree with, and I also think that love is something that never stays the same, it grows a little more every day. Thanks to everyone giving their insights, its very refreshing to get different peoples points of view on this ^.^

[Shadow Wolf]

Jeff: You got a lol out of me on that one. :yes:

Asi: Yeah, you are right about feelings. We like feelings and that's why we like to express them. However, they are like fire: If a fire is set to eat marshmallows, then is a controlled-good fire; but if it goes out of control, it can burn an entire forest. So if we control our feelings, then it is not bad to show them.

The problem comes when your mind says one thing and your feelings express another. Here's an example:

-The situation: Waking up to go to school. :looney:
-Your mind says: You have to go to school to get education and to get a job in the future. :rolleyes:
-Your feelings: I want to sleep a little bit more. :sleep2:

The best is to follow one's mind, but some people follow their feelings on this one. Same goes with love, but the problem with love is that, it is even harder to know whenever you are following your mind or your feelings because you "feel" love (feelings) and you "do" love(mind). You can feel the love and the magic of it, but... whenever this can let you to do something you will regret later... then it would be best to cast our feelings aside and let our minds guide us.

On a side note: Its good for some people to be emotioal as it help us (and by "us", I include myself, who are the people who express their feelings rarely) express them even more. That's the balance of life.

So plant the seed of love (who are you going to love?), pour some water (get to know that person) and watch it grow into a mature relationship of love fulfillment. :love2:

PS: No problem! Every time good topics like these com into view, its good to share points of view and learn new things. :D

[Asilynne]

I was browsing deviantart and came across this interesting view (http://glass-zombie182.deviantart.com/art/What-is-Love-125289272) of what love is. I dont agree with this at all XDDD but its still an interesting perspective.

[PancaKe]

Just making sure credit is given where credit is due.

Augh. Feel totally bad now.

I had no idea who that song was by, so I guess I just passed right over the song reference there. Sorry Telume! Thanks for pointing that out :)

[MeLoVeGhOsTs]

When I stick my hoo hoo dilly in her cha-cha.

Quoted for truth.

On a serious note, love is undefined IMO. Ofcourse the whole mind-theory is very realistic and very worthwhile aswell. To me, love is something that you feel, not think. Although the choices you make is while thinking, not feeling.

Didn't really make much sense did it?

[Asilynne]

Didn't really make much sense did it?

Considering love itself makes no sense half the time, Id say that almost makes perfect sense XD

[Houndoom_Lover]

I wanna cash in the second song, please.

L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very very extraodinary, E is everything, everything that you adore and love is that I can give to you, love is more than just a game for two.

Twoooo in love can make it, take my heart and please don't break it, Love was made for me and youuuu

[Blademaster]

I was browsing deviantart and came across this interesting view (http://glass-zombie182.deviantart.com/art/What-is-Love-125289272) of what love is.

"Desire not to be lonely."

Oh yeah! I TOTALLY called that shit! :cawg: