I broke up with my boyfriend

[PancaKe]

Well I didnt.

But like, friends friend is all like crying because his fiancee cheated and dumped him.

TPM, how do we help people like this? What do we say when they tell us all the things that happened? How do we say things other than "im sorry to hear that"?

[kazr]

Uh, cheer them up. Tell that dude he hasn't even peaked yet, there are literally millions of women out there ready to accept his pounding meat stick and that bitch doesn't deserve him.

Also suck his dick

[PancaKe]

Yeah but thats what everybody says. And I don't want to give him a bj. :( If I broke up with my boyfriend, the last thing I woudl want to hear was "its okay, you'll find another better one." .... as true as it might be for this guy. His girlfriend was a douche

[Telume]

If he's generally a nice guy and his girlfriend was a douche then IMO he's too good for her, yes it's kinda crappy to break up with your girlfriend but, there are plenty of fish out there.

If he's all broken up about it though, he needs a shoulder to cry on, that's for sure. At this point I'd say he just need someone to listen to him and help him out of his funk.

[shazza]

While the pain feels real, and is obviously justified during this time of mourning, it is important to make note that this is a blessing in disguise for a more happier future with someone that truly loves and deserves him. Someone that cheats on one you love is obviously not for you. Love is a very powerful emotion and will often make you blind to the true reality of things, but time will make the pain less severe and the love for her ware off and can be used for someone else. Although I have never truly been in love, I can definitely sympathise and imagine being truly in love with someone, only to have her cheat on me; what pain. And, if I was feeling this love that I have imagined, I would even consider taking her back due to the love I feel.

Just tell him you know the pain he feels is real, but he is only young and the pain will pass over time; to know the pain is only tempoarily and this is the worst, with a bright future ahead, will serve the mourning process well and put it into proper context.

[Everoy]

Even if you don't know what to say, being there is the most important thing you can do for him.

[Asilynne]

You can tell him at least she showed her true colors while they were still engaged and not when they were already married with possible children. Right now they had no official ties and ultimately the pain is limited to him, which he will in time heal, whereas if they had children the pain for them would be lifelong, which would also hurt him since he would love them but would have to share them with someone he could not get along with. So ultimately just tell him its a blessing in disguise.

[Crystal Mew]

I don't know, I never know what to say in situations like this.

My friend is going through a break up right now as well, she was dead set on marrying this guy, even bought her wedding dress and everything- all before even being engaged (which was dumb imo..) and now she has a wedding dress and no bf, with a slight chance of getting back with him. Nothing makes her feel any better, so I just let her talk about it to me and try to give a few helpful comments.

I know when I broke up with my boyfriend, I just wanted to talk about it and not really hear any advice..I just couldn't handle keeping it inside.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

My first reaction was, of course, "What? PancaKe broke up with her boyfriend?". Now is my chance! But then, well...

I think it's good to have boyfriends and boys who are just friends separatedly.

All my life I have taken my one-sided romances too seriously, and just failed to see there are so many other girls around. So I'm just saying the same, cheer her up and remind there are other boys around.

[DarkestLight]

Im sure he wants to talk. I know I did. It was hard as hell for me for 2 weeks, and I'd say let him talk. Because if he doesn't get the grief out, he can get sick (I did, still recovering).

It'll take time as everyone has said. Once he gets his anger, sadness, fear, and frustration of trying to rationalize the situation out, he'll start to heal. He didn't live with her, right, cause that adds to it so much....x_x.

[Roarkiller]

How do we say things other than "im sorry to hear that"?


Try saying, "Take your time, we got your back."

People in distress don't need sympathy, they need support.

[PancaKe]

Hmmm interesting things. Although now he's asking if we know any "easy" girls so he can rebound. Hrmm probably not the best thing for him to do. But yeah.

[Shadow Wolf]

The guys pretty much said everything that can be of help.

I believe that there are a few things he should/shouldn't do:

- Is not exactly to destroy everything, but he should get rid of a few things that reminds him of her. The less time he thinks of her, the faster he'll get over it.

- Tell him to get distracted on something he likes. Hobbies, games, going out with friends, and reading books (with no romantic stuff, of course)

- If he listens to a lot of music, then he should not listen to sad and romantic music. We want him to get over it, not the opposite.

- Being a lot of time alone is his enemy while in this state, because thoughts flow quickly and this can lead to nostalgia.

- He shouldn't think about if he did anything wrong in his relationship because the one who failed was her. If she did that, then she's the one who loses.

- And last but not least: he should spend some time "single". This way, he will get over his feelings, meditate about the ups and downs of his past relationship, be a little free to spend time "improving" himself and finally, when he gets another girlfriend, he will not look for the virtues of his past girlfriend.

I believe that's all I can think of right now. Hope it helps!

[Katie]

Just let him go through the stages, everyone has to and there's really no way to skip them. The absolute best way in my experience and others' is to cut all ties, get rid of all things that remind you of them, and just let yourself breathe and try to forget about it. The best thing for them to have is a shoulder to cry on, but if you treat it like a big deal (god she's such a cunt! you deserve better! the guy's not even cute!) it will stay a big deal. Not to say don't let them talk it out with you, but just don't build them up more than they have already or they will crash even harder. There will be lots of ups and downs but what they need is time, even if it is a super cliche.

Being cheated on is one of the fastest ways to feel worthless, I can only imagine what it must feel like when engaged. Sorry about your friend.