The Fire master

[MetaKnight89]

The Fire Master

Prologue

The boy slept quietly as he, his brother, and his sister were flying on a plane. The oldest was Cloud, who was 19 while his little brother, Brandon, was 16, and his sister, Jenny, was 16 also. Cloud, had spiky blond hair, a black t-shirt, and brown cargo shorts. He was about 5'9 and his eyes were blue and his hair was kinda short on the forehead. He hardly talked and was always serious; never joking or fooling around.
Brandon had the same style of hair, but he wore a green shirt with an Eevee on it with long jeans andwas about 5'1. He had the same personality as his brother and the same eye color. Jenny had a pink shirt with a staryu on it and blue shorts and was about 5'1 too. She was always happy and had green eyes and had black hair in a ponytail. They were all pokemon trainers and were taking the plane to the Reigoron Region. They had hoped to find new pokemon, and more trainers to battle. They had packed every type of ball except master balls, of course.



Chapter 1: I Want that Pokemon!
Cloud jumped off the plane with no trouble while his brother and sister stepped nervously down the steps. They walked to Emerald town and in the lab were Prof. Kyree. He had glasses and brown fair hair, with a lab coat like Prof. Oak and Elm.
“ Nice to see you all! Which pokemon will it be! ” He said excitedly. He took them into a private room where there was a gallery of pokeballs categorized into there types.
“ I wanna choose first!” Jenny said in a 9 year old voice. Brandon and Cloud stood there saying nothing so Prof. Kyree shrugged and said, “ Well, jenny, what kind of pokemon would you like?” He Asked.
“ A Corsola!” She said. “ I’m afraid we don’t have one.” Prof. Kyree said kindly. “ Then what water pokemon DO you have?” Jenny quarried. “Er, a Squirtle, a Totodile, a Staryu, a Horsea and a Seel. Not exactly the normal starter pokemon I’m afraid.”
“ Hmm, ok I want Horsea!” Jenny said feeling giddy with happiness. Even Prof. Kyree fell over by the the loudness. “ Ok then. Horsea it is.” He took a Lure ball from the shelf and handed it to Jenny. “ Here is you new horsea.” He also handed Jenny a pink pokedex. Jenny put the pokeball on the scanner and it registered her Horsea. In the nickname space she put, Aqua.
“ Ok, Brandon next.” “ Do you have an Eevee?” He asked politely. “ Yes we do! Here you go!” Prof. Kyree said and took a Fast ball from the rack and gave it to Brandon and a black pokedex.
He put his pokeball on the scanner and it registered his pokemon. In the nickname spot he put, “Shadow” since he wanted to evolve is Eevee into a Umbreon. “ Ok Cloud ne-” He was cut off there by the doors banging shut and a voice, “ GRANDPAAAAAAAA!” “ What is it Joseph.” Prof. Kyree said in an annoyed tone. A boy named Joseph barged in and said, “ I want my pokemon!” “ Er, Cloud was here first Joseph, you can pick your pokemon after him!” Prof. Kyree said in a still, annoyed tone. “ No fair! I’m your grandson!” Joseph whined. Finally, Cloud spoke up, “ Now wait a minute, I was here first and I want to choose now!” Cloud said firmly. Joseph just pouted as Cloud asked Prof. Kyree if he had a Growlithe. Prof. Kyree nodded and handed Cloud a pokeball and a teal pokedex. Cloud took it and attached it to his belt. “ All right Joseph it’s your turn to choose.” Prof. Kyree said.
“ I WANT THE GROWLITHE!” Joseph said in a bratty and rude voice. “ Cloud got it already Joseph.” Prof.Kyree said. “ Fine........I want the......Lavaritar!” Joseph said. “ Ok then.” Prof. Kyree said and handed Joseph a black ball and a blue pokedex. “ YES! I got a Lavaritar!” Joseph said loudly. He immediately withdrew it, the Lavaritar had a black mark across it’s eye, and was a hazel color. Its tail was shaped like a curved plank of wood and it too had a hazel color. Joseph returned it and walked out of the room laughing. One by one, Cloud, Jenny, and Brian left the room silently.

[pokemasterfrank]

You fic needs description. It's a little bland. Describe as much as you can. If you don't have description, the readers can lose interest easily. The reader should be able to picture the scenes in their minds. Just think of it as like your the painter and the descriptions are the colors you use to paint a picture in the reader's mind. If you don't have the colors, then you wont be able to paint. You have some description, but this could use more. Describe the people, the places, and the items.

You need to add a space between each paragraph. It's much easier to read that way.

Good luck.

[Tainted]

Yeah, pmf is right, its bland and its been done... several hundred times...
A dratini as a starter, rival coming in last second to try and get the pokemon that the lead role character just received, its all been done. Try to make it a little less cliche, since I took the time to read your fic, read mine, links in the sig... Maybe you can get some ideas or something from it...

[MetaKnight89]

Originally posted by Skullfire
Yeah, pmf is right, its bland and its been done... several hundred times...
A dratini as a starter, rival coming in last second to try and get the pokemon that the lead role character just received, its all been done. Try to make it a little less cliche, since I took the time to read your fic, read mine, links in the sig... Maybe you can get some ideas or something from it...
tsk. I just take stuff from the show, and what is cliche. I forgot Also, i didnt find much desricption in ur story either. But thats just what i think.

[MetaKnight89]

Chapter 2: Eevee vs. Eevee

Cloud exited the lab and they all walked into a grassy field.

Standing there was a girl with black hair like Jenny’s. We froze.

“ Which one of you is brave enough to battle my Eevee! ”?

The girl said cockily. “ I will..”

Brandon said plainly, showing no emotion. “ Ok one on one!”

She said and hurled a pokeball in the air. It opened and revealed an Eevee.

It had a white mane and was brown all over.

It looked like the cross between a fox and a bunny.

“ Scruffy! Tackle!” The girl said.

Brandon released his and said, “ Shadow, Sand Attack!” Shadow

turned around and kicked sand at the speeding Eevee and luckily

the sand got into his eye. Scruffy went blind for a moment and

had to stop to get the sand out of his eye. “ Shadow, Tackle!”

Brandon said. “ Scruffy! Tackle too!” The girl exclaimed.

Shadow charged toward Scruffy like a bullet as Scruffy still tried

to get the sand out of his eye. Finally, Scruffy got out the sand

and started to do a tackle too. They raced into each other; both

of them getting a major headache. " Shadow, Tackle!" " You too

Scruffy!" They banged into each other again and again not

stopping. Scruffy suddenly sat down to rest as Shadow charged

toward him.

Suddenly, Brian cried, “Stop! I forfeit.” He said.
Cloud and Jenny looked at him amazed.

“ Scruffy was gonna lose anyways.” He said and walked away,

the girllaughed and walked away in the opposite direction.

HOUR LATER
“ Why’d you do that Brandon?” Jenny asked for the third time, “

1. She was gonna lose anyways 2. Why bother hurting a

pokemon when you know you won already 3. QUIT BUGGIN ME!”

Brandon said loudly and in an annoyed tone. His spiky hair

flapped around as they approached Woodburn City.

“ I’m gonna go catch some pokemon.” Cloud said casually and walked off.

[pokemasterfrank]

Originally posted by MetaKnight89
tsk. I just take stuff from the show, and what is cliche. I forgot Also, i didnt find much desricption in ur story either. But thats just what i think. Cliche is the term that labels overused ideas and items.

Geez...your chapters are so short! If you didn't know (but you do know, I've told you before), chapters have to be at least on page long in word (Verdana, pt 10 font). This is barely a half a page with Times New Roman at 12 pt. font.

This thing is still bland. I see an attempt to describe stuff, but it's not working. Describe more, it should be with more depth.

You still didn't use the paragraph thing...

Don't switch the angle of views in the same paragraph. For the first two sentences, it had a third person view. Then, in the third sentence, it was a first person view. DON'T CHANGE THE ANGLE OF VIEW. (I've told you this before!)

Punctuation is off. You need to learn when a new paragraph starts...

The battles are bland as well. You need to describe the battles in a way that will excite the reader (and therefore keep their interest).

EDIT: btw, you will know something is wrong with your fic if a review of this sort (the I correct you type deal) is equal to or bigger than the chapter itself...

[MetaKnight89]

Originally posted by pokemasterfrank
Cliche is the term that labels overused ideas and items.

Geez...your chapters are so short! If you didn't know (but you do know, I've told you before), chapters have to be at least on page long in word (Verdana, pt 10 font). This is barely a half a page with Times New Roman at 12 pt. font.

This thing is still bland. I see an attempt to describe stuff, but it's not working. Describe more, it should be with more depth.

You still didn't use the paragraph thing...

Don't switch the angle of views in the same paragraph. For the first two sentences, it had a third person view. Then, in the third sentence, it was a first person view. DON'T CHANGE THE ANGLE OF VIEW. (I've told you this before!)

Punctuation is off. You need to learn when a new paragraph starts...

The battles are bland as well. You need to describe the battles in a way that will excite the reader (and therefore keep their interest).

EDIT: btw, you will know something is wrong with your fic if a review of this sort (the I correct you type deal) is equal to or bigger than the chapter itself...
Sry....er the next few chappies are gonna be a lot more descriptive and stuff but not the upcomin one...

[MetaKnight89]

Chapter 3: The Hyper Beam
“ Good job Houndour!” Cloud said as Houndour creamed his 14th Oddish. Happy with this Houndour happily bounded back to Cloud and licked him. Cloud petted him and moved along the long grass path leading to a large cave. Cloud walked in wonderingly hoping to find a pokemon.
Narrative mode off
I walked into the cave and saw lights. I went in there and saw a rather large Kingler drinking in the lake there. I moved my foot and accidentally kicked a pebble which landed on the floor. The Kingler looked up and fired a blast of bubbles knocking me back. I retreated back, out of the cave followed by the Kingler. He fired another burst of bubbles from his mouth and they once again pummeled me in the chest. I staggered back and took 2 pokeballs from my belt. " Houndour, Growlithe, Go!" I choked. I threw my 2 pokeballs into the air and they revealed a Growlithe and a Houndour. They both barked at the large crab-like pokemon as he sent out another stream of bubbles at me. I rolled out of the way and said, " Growlithe, Take Down, Houndour, Crunch." My pokemon dashed toward the enemy and as Houndour bit down on the leg Growlithe charged into the large Kingler. The Kingler shook Houndour off with it's bitten leg and then blasted it with a stream of bubbles. Then, as the Growlithe approached, he sent a wave of energy from his claw that hit Growlithe. " Growlithe, Houndour, return." I muttered and held out 2 pokeballs and both wounded pokemon were absorbed into their pokeballs. The Kingler then, opened his claw once again and sent out another wave of energy which sent me flying.
*************************
Jenny
“Yes! Yipee!” I cried happily doing a little dance. “ Gimme a break! All you did was capture a stupid Staryu!” A mysterious voice sneered. I stopped dancing put on a deadpan look. “ Whoever said that.....IS SO GONNA PAY! HORSEA! WATER GUN THE GRASS!” “ Hor!” The seahorse pokemon cried happily and released a stream of water toward the grass. “AHHH!!COLD,COLD,COLD!!!!!” Out came a yelping Joseph and his Lavaritar running away in fear as Horsea shot out multiple streams of water at them. “GOOD JOB HORSEA!” I said and patted Horsea on the head. “ I have a feelin we taught those guys a lesson!” I said happily and walked toward a lake.

[Andrew]

Um.. Hi MetaKnight89 ^^ Just taking a peek at your fic and well I've decided to give some helpful tips ^^

1) Plan, plan, plan your fics! Write out an episode or chapter plan of basically what's going to happen in your fic from each chapter and get a basic idea of where it's going. That way you'll have a bit of a guide.

2) I'm very flattered that you involved my characters Andrew and Jessica in your fic, but well usually if you do a crossover or a reference to another fic or you use other people's characters, check with them beforehand. The current crossover I'm working on with Gavin Luper we've been working on it to syncronise them for the past few months. So always check.

3) New speaker, new paragraph. Whenever there's a new speaker, a new paragraph, quite helpful really eh ^^ and it usually helps afterwards to write who said it. Like "Yeah!" hollered Bob.

4) Keep it fresh, I noticed at the beginning, it played an awful lot like the Red and Blue games! So try not to keep it cliched, come up with ideas and write them down. And then work them into your story. Originality is what people love!

6) Spellcheck is your God. In word, spell check like 14 times if you have to. Eliminating errors is a MUST do!

7) Write in word, as it helps to eliminate errors and such, plus your fic's chapters have to be at least 1 page long in word. Normal sized font.

8) If you can. get someone to proofread your work, just an online buddy to read it before you post it can make all the diference.

Now I know I've rehashed a lot, basically what Frank and Skullfire said. But if you take some advice, its sure to help.

[Chris 2.1]

ok...this fic has potential, everything does, but never EVER get put off by people's opinions. people always say things bad about my fic, but i revise it and try again. Everything Oz, Pokemasterfrank and Skullfire should be taken into consideration, as they are amazingly skilled writers.

I see the fic has potential, but you have to add a secret ingrediant to change this fic from avarage to unique. Wow us all!

[pokemasterfrank]

And about that Cliche stuff...this fic is starting to get really...something...

I reconize many of these...things...from other fics...

First, the sad and whining rival. I wasn't around for those fics Skullfire talked about, but thats in mine.

Next, in this chapter, this Legendary scene is so...mirrored...from that Entei kills Anna in LTL...

*shakes head*

Maybe it's just me...but I get a feeling you copied some of this stuff...

btw...Oz, I read his fics before hand, but he says "I know, I'm going to add it in" and then when he posts, not much changes..."

[MetaKnight89]

Originally posted by pokemasterfrank
And about that Cliche stuff...this fic is starting to get really...something...

I reconize many of these...things...from other fics...

First, the sad and whining rival. I wasn't around for those fics Skullfire talked about, but thats in mine.

Next, in this chapter, this Legendary scene is so...mirrored...from that Entei kills Anna in LTL...

*shakes head*

Maybe it's just me...but I get a feeling you copied some of this stuff...

btw...Oz, I read his fics before hand, but he says "I know, I'm going to add it in" and then when he posts, not much changes..."
:( Sorry...my little bro has been doin these chPTERS......IGNORE EVERYTHIN.........he overwrited.....i explained to OzAndrew

[MetaKnight89]

CHAPTER 4: Battle at Woodburn City!
WOOHOO! No more Writer'block!



Cloud
I continued to fall endlessly in the sky seeing many pidgeys scattering as they saw me.



20 minutes later.
I finally landed on the ground roughly causing me to fall to the floor. I got up and was surprised to see a happy little Horsea dancing around me. This horsea had turned out to be……Aqua. Seeing him I knew Jenny was nearby. Sure enough, out of the bushes came a celebrating Jenny pumping her fist into the air for victory as she floated on a Staryu, followed by Brandon and Shadow. Brandon, it seemed had caught a wild Scyther, Jenny had caught a Staryu and I had caught a Houndour. I let out my pokemon so they could run a bit as we headed back to Woodburn City.

10 minutes later
We arrived at Woodburn City in about 10 minutes from now and Jenny had already used up half of her savings on clothes. We walked toward where a sign said, Annual Woodburn City Tournament! Signup here! We both signed up and later jenny signed up too. The tournament started tomorrow and the opening ceremony was tonight. It was like a mini Pokemon league.



Brandon
We just finished signing up for a tournament and right after that, Jenny dashed to the mall. We just waited around and finally decided to go to the museum to check out the legendary pokemon tablets. We walked into the museum and accidentally bumped into a kid with a black jacket, red boots, and long red hair.
“ What’s the big idea! Bumping into the son of Kamon like that!” The boy snarled. “ It was an accident.” I replied trying to keep my cool. “ Yea right! You probably bumped into me on purpose!” The punk retorted. “ You know what! If you don’t believe me why don’t we settle this with a pokemon battle!” I said, losing my cool as I took a pokeball from my belt. “ Sure! You’ll lose anyways! 2 on 2 battle!” The kid said cockily and walked outside. I walked outside too as Cloud followed. To make it fair, both of us agreed that Cloud would ref the battle.
“ Alright! Begin the battle!” Cloud said. The kid immediately tossed out a pokeball and said, “ Go Venonat!” The pokeball opened to reveal a red shade of a ball shaped bug then it materialized. “ Venonat!” It exclaimed, ready to battle. “ Shadow, Go!” I said and hurled a Fast ball into the air and it revealed a Eevee. “ Eevee! The pokemon cried, also eager to battle.
“ Eevee Take Down!” I said. “ Venonat, Sleep Powder!” The kid ordered. Both pokemon stood there motionless then Venonat started to spread a bluish-powder around the arena. Shadow charged toward Venonat recklessly but, sure enough, tackled the enemy hard, making Venonat fly out of the arena.
“ No! Venonat Return! Go Hitmoncan!” The kid said and held out a pokeball to absorb the Venonat inside. Then he threw another pokeball into the air and it revealed a Hitmonchan.
“ Hitmonchan! Mach punch then meditate, and finally, Mega Punch!” The kid yelled.
“ Shadow! Protect!” I shouted. Shadow formed a shield of stars blocking the first punch but as the shield went down the Hitmonchan punched the Eevee hard, sending it flying.
“ Argh. Return Shadow, go Scyther!” “ Scy!” The mantis-like pokemon cried. “Ok Scyther. First do a Razor Wind then Swords Dance and finally, slash.” I said. “ Hitmonchan! Do a Thunder punch, then 2 Ice punches!” The kid replied. Scyther flapped his wings furiously as he created a wind containing many sharp air pockets while Hitmonchan charged toward Scyther, his fist glowing an electric yellow. The wind collided with his fist and Hitmonchan was cut up as the wind passed him. “Chan!” The pokemon cried in pain.
“ Common Hitmonchan! Do 3 fire punches!” The kid called out. “ Scyther, continue with your old combo!” I said. Scyther started spinning wildly as Hitmonchan punched repeatedly at Scyther, his fist burning with flames. Scyther flew into the air and came down like a tornado, an attack I never saw before. He started spinning faster and struck down on Hitmonchan. Hitmonchan fell to the floor, defeated.
“ No!.........Fine you win.” The kid said and walked away. “ By the way, name’s Kevin.” I opened my pokedex and scanned the move he used. “ Dive attack, the pokemon flies into the air spinning wildly and crushes the opponent by diving down on it. I recalled Scyther happy about the new attack and went with Cloud to the mall to find Jenny.

[Gavin Luper]

I'm very flattered that you tried using part of my story, Lisa the Legend (see chapter 22) but I request that you please delete the content of chapter three, as it is almost EXACTLY taken from Lisa the Legend. Although I understand that you might have been using mine and Oz Andrew's fics as a stepping stone for writing, it would really we more appropriate if you asked before bordering on plagerising our hard-worked-at fictions.

So, please edit out chapter 3 or modify it a lot, as it's unfair of you to take the credit for my story.

Thanks in advance,

- Gavin Luper.

[MetaKnight89]

Er, Gavin Luper, if u talk to Oz, u will noe thhat my beother has been postin mirror chapters.Ive been at the retreat for the last 3 days

[Tainted]

I thought I noticed that, Gavin, I'm a silent reader of both your fic, Lisa the Legend and Ozzy's fic, Electric Buggy to Victory...
Mirror chapters is wrong, and if you say your brother is doing all of this, you and your brother have nearly exactly alike writing styles...

You'd better smarten up your act... But one thing I noticed, ShinyMarill, if you actually mean it when you say I'm an amazingly skilled writer, then I'm touched, I could easily see OzAndrew or Gavin Luper as being of the cult, but never me...
If you actually meant it, thanks

[MetaKnight89]

............Skullfire, I AM NOT LYING!!!!! MY ANNOYING BROTHER WATCHES ME TYPE EVERY DAY! MY WRITING STYLE UVE ONLY SEEN ONCE. WHAT MAKES U THINK THAT I'm TYPING AND JUST SAYIN that my brother typed it!:mad:
AND HE JUST USES SOME OF MY WRITING TO U NOE! And I no one else believes me, I'll just delete the whole thread, dammit

[Tainted]

Whoa, easy on the flames mon ... ami I guess? I speak french, but I always thought there was something better than ami, frere perhaps...

I just said, its kind of odd that your brother, unless hes a criminal mastermind, would do such a thing, I never doubted you, just saying your brother is a fairly odd person... Especially to sabotage his brothers writing *oh no! get 'im where it hertzz*

[MetaKnight89]

Originally posted by Skullfire
Whoa, easy on the flames mon ... ami I guess? I speak french, but I always thought there was something better than ami, frere perhaps...

I just said, its kind of odd that your brother, unless hes a criminal mastermind, would do such a thing, I never doubted you, just saying your brother is a fairly odd person... Especially to sabotage his brothers writing *oh no! get 'im where it hertzz* My brother just loves to terrorize me. And yes, I hit him where it hertzz

[Gavin Luper]

Either way, Metaknight, whether your brother wrote it or not, please delete it, as it's unfair (as I said in my last post).

Please delete it very soon, and also stop flaming people, ie Skullfire, or I'll be contacting some mods.

[MetaKnight89]

Originally posted by Gavin Luper
Either way, Metaknight, whether your brother wrote it or not, please delete it, as it's unfair (as I said in my last post).

Please delete it very soon, and also stop flaming people, ie Skullfire, or I'll be taking Mod action for both reasons.
..........I am typinng the real chapter 3 and will change it soon. And I didnt mean to flame Skullfire, i was just really pissed off, before i saw the reply.........

[MetaKnight89]

CHAPTER 4: Battle at Woodburn City!



Cloud
I continued to fall endlessly in the sky seeing many pidgeys scattering as they saw me.



20 minutes later.
I finally landed on the ground roughly causing me to fall to the floor. I got up and was surprised to see a happy little Horsea dancing around me. This horsea had turned out to be……Aqua. Seeing him I knew Jenny was nearby. Sure enough, out of the bushes came a celebrating Jenny pumping her fist into the air for victory as she floated on a Staryu, followed by Brandon and Shadow. Brandon, it seemed had caught a wild Scyther, Jenny had caught a Staryu and I had caught a Houndour. I let out my pokemon so they could run a bit as we headed back to Woodburn City.

10 minutes later
We arrived at Woodburn City in about 10 minutes from now and Jenny had already used up half of her savings on clothes. We walked toward where a sign said, Annual Woodburn City Tournament! Signup here! We both signed up and later jenny signed up too. The tournament started tomorrow and the opening ceremony was tonight. It was like a mini Pokemon league.



Brandon
We just finished signing up for a tournament and right after that, Jenny dashed to the mall. We just waited around and finally decided to go to the museum to check out the legendary pokemon tablets. We walked into the museum and accidentally bumped into a kid with a black jacket, red boots, and long red hair.
“ What’s the big idea! Bumping into the son of Kamon like that!” The boy snarled. “ It was an accident.” I replied trying to keep my cool. “ Yea right! You probably bumped into me on purpose!” The punk retorted. “ You know what! If you don’t believe me why don’t we settle this with a pokemon battle!” I said, losing my cool as I took a pokeball from my belt. “ Sure! You’ll lose anyways! 2 on 2 battle!” The kid said cockily and walked outside. I walked outside too as Cloud followed. To make it fair, both of us agreed that Cloud would ref the battle.
“ Alright! Begin the battle!” Cloud said. The kid immediately tossed out a pokeball and said, “ Go Venonat!” The pokeball opened to reveal a red shade of a ball shaped bug then it materialized. “ Venonat!” It exclaimed, ready to battle. “ Shadow, Go!” I said and hurled a Fast ball into the air and it revealed a Eevee. “ Eevee! The pokemon cried, also eager to battle.
“ Eevee Take Down!” I said. “ Venonat, Sleep Powder!” The kid ordered. Both pokemon stood there motionless then Venonat started to spread a bluish-powder around the arena. Shadow charged toward Venonat recklessly but, sure enough, tackled the enemy hard, making Venonat fly out of the arena.
“ No! Venonat Return! Go Hitmoncan!” The kid said and held out a pokeball to absorb the Venonat inside. Then he threw another pokeball into the air and it revealed a Hitmonchan.
“ Hitmonchan! Mach punch then meditate, and finally, Mega Punch!” The kid yelled.
“ Shadow! Protect!” I shouted. Shadow formed a shield of stars blocking the first punch but as the shield went down the Hitmonchan punched the Eevee hard, sending it flying.
“ Argh. Return Shadow, go Scyther!” “ Scy!” The mantis-like pokemon cried. “Ok Scyther. First do a Razor Wind then Swords Dance and finally, slash.” I said. “ Hitmonchan! Do a Thunder punch, then 2 Ice punches!” The kid replied. Scyther flapped his wings furiously as he created a wind containing many sharp air pockets while Hitmonchan charged toward Scyther, his fist glowing an electric yellow. The wind collided with his fist and Hitmonchan was cut up as the wind passed him. “Chan!” The pokemon cried in pain.
“ Common Hitmonchan! Do 3 fire punches!” The kid called out. “ Scyther, continue with your old combo!” I said. Scyther started spinning wildly as Hitmonchan punched repeatedly at Scyther, his fist burning with flames. Scyther flew into the air and came down like a tornado, an attack I never saw before. He started spinning faster and struck down on Hitmonchan. Hitmonchan fell to the floor, defeated.
“ No!.........Fine you win.” The kid said and walked away. “ By the way, name’s Kevin.” I opened my pokedex and scanned the move he used. “ Dive attack, the pokemon flies into the air spinning wildly and crushes the opponent by diving down on it. I recalled Scyther happy about the new attack and went with Cloud to the mall to find Jenny.

[Chris 2.1]

skullfire: Yea, i mean it. Call me a closet reader ;)