The MisAdventures of Hiro!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, this is the last time I'm reposting this, so you should all be happy now. Herre ya go! [and don't bother me about the short chapters, I know!]
[or the spelling]


CHAPTER 1
Hiro woke up late one spring morning, only to realize that his mom had gone insane and made him a cinnibar volcano burger with baking 'basco sauce (the hottest stuff on earth) for dinner last night, and his tounge was disintigrating in his mouth! he ran downstairs for some water when his insane mother stopped him and said
Mom:*insane laugh* I "found" a bunch of stuff while I was, uh, shopping in the kwik-e mart. hehehe!
Hiro:Isn't the kwik-e mart closed for 3 days.
Mom: Don't talk back to your elders! The point is, the cops want this, so I want you to have it! kekekekeke!
She hands him a PokéGear
Hiro: Wait a minute, if I have it, the cops'll think I stole it!
Mom: Like I want to get arrested. Now get moving!
Hiro went to the fire station and proceeded to stick a fire hose in his mouth. After that he went to Prof. Tree for help.
P. Tree: Your mom wants you to do something? Here, take a Pokémon. It is dangerous out there. Wait, on second thought *he reaches to take the Pokéball, remembering the time Hiro put shaving cream in his ben gay.*
Hiro: Hey this is mine!
He went home, grabbed his talking pikachu pokédex, and ran out of town.
And so the adventure begins...
CHAPTER 2
As Hiro set off down route 29, he saw a guy with green hair and a nose plug. The guy said
Guy: Hi! I'll show you how to catch Pokémon for 100 yen.
Hiro: But-
Guy: That's good! Now, I'll just have a look in your wallet and see if you've got the money!
They Guy reaches into Hiro's pocket and takes out his wallet.
Guy: *mumbling* Let's see, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50. There! Perfect!
Hiro: Hey! I thought you said-
Guy: OK, The way you catch a Pokémon is to throw a Pokéball and hope it hits the Pokémon. OK bye!
Hiro: But I haven't got any Pokéballs yet!
Guy: OK, Well, go buy some in Cherrygrove and I'll show you again!
Hiro:-_-' ...
Hiro continues down the road when he sees a funky-lookin' flower. He asks a guy
Hiro: What's that flower thingamabobber?
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: But what is-
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: I DIDN'T ASK WHAT IS IN THEM, I ASKED WHAT THEY A-
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro looks at a sign and sees
Sign: This guy is a robotic tourguide!
Hiro: Oh brother...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, its been 2 months since i posted this... ill post the next three chapters.

CHAPTER 3
Hiro walked exhaustedly through the tall grass. The Pokémon that Prof. Tree had given Him was a Lv. 2 Pichu, and it had fainted in the first battle. He had fought in 32 Pokémon battles and had lost them all. He had pretended to faint so he could get away. He was all beat up! He finally got to Cherrygrove when a old guy stopped him.
Old Guy: Hi. I live here. For 200 yen I'll show ou around.
Hiro: Hmmmm...
Old guy: Good! Now hand me your wallet and We'll be on our way.
He stands in the middle of the small town.
Old guy: That is a Pokécenter, that is a pokémart, that's the ocean, That's route 30, and Those are some houses. 'kay, bye.
Hiro: Hey! Wait a sec.
Hiro takes a pokémap card from the old guy's pocket.
Old guy: Hey! What was that for?
Hiro: You stole my wallet!
Then Hiro runs to the Pokémart to buy some Pokéballs.
Store guy: We are out of pokéballs.
Hiro: DAMN!!
Store guy: That'll be 12 yen.
The store guy reaches into Hiro's pocket and pulls out 5 yen, a rare candy, 5 strands of hair and 3 balls of lint.
Store guy: Is this all you have?
Hiro: Yes!
Store guy: 'kay, bye!
Hiro goes to the Pokécenter to heal his weak Pichu.
Nurse Jenny: Hi! I'll heal your Pokés. for 3 yen I'll also raise it to level 10.
Hiro: Oh boy!
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a mini-safe. He takes out 3 yen.
Hiro: Here ya go!
Nurse Jenny: Ok, gimme your Pokés.
Hiro: I've only got 1...
Hands over his Pichu.
Nurse Jenny: Haha! You must suck as a Pokémon trainer!
Hiro: I know....
CHAPTER 4
Hiro set off happily down Route 30 with his LV. 10 Pichu. He won a bunch of battles, but couldn't get through to violet city because of 2 5-yeaer olds having a fight. They were fat, too, so he couldn't move them. He went to Mr Pokémo's house to see if Prof. oak was visiting again. He was.
Mr. P: Hi Hiro. Can I see your Pokémon.
Hiro: NO! Youll try to tkae it and them youll give it to PROF. TREE!!!!!!!!
Prof. Oak: I'll give you a Pokédex four your Pichu.
Hiro: Hold on, I dropped the Poéball outside.
Hiro goes and grabs a round white rock and sticks half of it in reddish brown myud.
Hiro: Here ya go!*He hands over the rock*
Prof oad: Herre ya go! *he hands ovetr a pokédez*
Hiro: *running* SUCKERS!!!!!
Prof oak: Hey!
Mr. P: Good thing you put in that bomb that will go off when he catches 251.
P oak: He'll never catch 251, because only one person has ever even seen 251. ASH!!!!
Mr. P.: DAMN!
Hiro runs and runs and runs and bounces over the fat kids. Then he remembers something and goes back over. Then he takes Mr. p's egg and leaves afain. He runs till he gets to violet city. Then right before he goes to the POKéMON CEBTER, the egg hackes, and out popps atogempi. He heals his pichu and then trhey go face Hobbes Hobbeson, the gym leader. They win, because tegopi uses metronome and blasts the guym apart and gfalkern dies and Hiro takes the badge.
Then he goes to the unown ruing and solves the puzzle and catches the unown and then in a fight with raikou (how did he got out of his tatue nayway?) He blows the ruins apart with his togepi names tog.
Then he goes through a cave and has his tog do metronome until surf comes up and then they surf and caught a lapras. Then he get to the next city and met kurt, who helps him beat the rockets because he is so fat and blubbers on them, crushing their bones.
Kurt: Haaa! I knew this extra blubbber would come in hansdy!!!!!
Rocket boss: aaaaa! nop!
KRUNCH!
CHAPTER 5
After beating the rockets, Kurt had hurt his back, so Hiro had to roll him to his house, through azalea town which was full of slowpokes sniffing where their tails used to be and yawning, so it was raining.
Kurt: My house is right there!
Hiro OK!
Kurt: Here take this special Pokéball I made.
Hiro: Ok!
As hiro was walking through the town, his shoes getting stuck in the mud/dung because it was all wet from the rain, a guy his age with long red hair stopped him and said
rival: did you beat the rockets?
Hiro:Yes.
Rival: You're a moron! Team Rocket Is cool!
Hiro: Team Rocket Sucks!!!!!!
Rival: Let's battle!
Hiro: YOU'RE ON!!!!!!
And Hiro was in for one of the toughest battles of his life.

[The Decapitated Mole]

ok, I'm bored of reposting chapters, so I'm gonna just post ALL of my old ones here so I can start writing again, cause I'm bored as HELL!!! [if you read this, please respond. It's very depressing to know that (as much as this story sucks) nobody--Ah hell, skip it. Here!

CHAPTER 6
Hiro got into the battle with his new rival named Fred by using his Pichu, which took out the Meganeum and gastly right away.
Hiro: You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Fred: Not as much as you!!!!!!
Hiro: Kiss my @$$!!!!!
Fred: OK!
Fred kissed Hiro's @$$.
Fred's zubat took out the weakened Pichu, so Hiro sent out Tog.
Hiro: TOG, METRONOME!!!!!!!!
Fred: Zubat, supersonic!
The zubat's supersonic missed entirely and hit Hiro, but Tog's metronome hit the zubat, only it was splash.
Fred: Ha! If I can kill this dopey kid, no one will be able to beat Team Rocket!!!!!
Hiro: YOU ARE A ****ING ******* SON OF A ***** MOTHER ****ING ****-FOR-BRAINS CRAP-HEADED *** WITH GAY CRAP HAIR!
Fred: Don't you go makin fun of my hair, now!
Hiro: Your hair looks like a pile of ****ing ****!
Fred: That's It, ZUBAT, HIT THAT BASTARD WITH YOUR WING ATTACK!!!!!!!!!
Hiro: Tog, use metronome!
Tog hit zubat full force with a strong headbutt at the same time that it hit with it's wing attack.
TOG: Man, this sucks. Why am I listening to this guy anyway. Oh yeah. he's my mommy TOG!
Zubat: God that redheaded kid is a retard. Doesn't he know that I can't win?BAT!
Fred: Zubat, hit that Togepi with your strongest wing attack!
Hiro: Tog, TACKLE!!!!!!!
Both Pokémon hit at the same time, causing an explosion which slammed Hiro into a building and pushed Fred through a fence.
Hiro: *cough* Tog?
Tog: T-t-togi...
Hiro: Tog!
He picks up tog and goes to a Pokémon center.
Nurse Jenny: Hold up you little twit. I'm talking to the Police officer.
Hiro: Hi, officer Joy!
Officer Joy: Shut up you smart-mouthed **** head!
Hiro: I wonder what's wrong with those two...
CHAPTER 7
Nurse Jenny: Team Rocket has run away...
Officer Joy: I have to go find them!
Officer Joy leaves. As she walks away, she turns around and says
Officer Joy: You are the weakest link, goodbye!
She pulls out a quisinart ray and blows up Nurse Jenny. Her head rolls to Hiro's feet and says
Head: Hey kid, go win the weakest link and kill mrs. weakest link there.
Hiro: I've got a better idea.
Hiro Picks up Nurse jenny's head and sticks a cherry bomb inside.
Head: Hey! What's the idea?
Hiro ties the fuse to one of nurse Jenny's hairs. Then He lights the hair and throws it at Officer Joy.
Officer Joy: Nasty! Like I want this head! Why's the hair on fire?
BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
Both heads roll to the middle of the Pokémon Center and says
Hiro: TOG, USE BIG BANG!
Tog: Togi?
Hiro: Whatever, use selfdestruct!
Tog selfdestructs and kills itself while destroying the two heads.
Hiro: Find a female Togepi, someone!
Eventually Kurt's granddaughter brings one and hiro has it do mouth-o-mouth to Tog.
Poppi: What's the point of that?
Hiro: The shock will bring Tog back!
Hiro as right. As soon as togi(that was her name)started, his eyes opened and he pulled her closer, and didn't let her go.
Hiro: That's enough, Tog! Can't you see she's already married? Look at those eggs there!*Hiro points to the togepi eggs that Togi brought*
Tog: *sadly*To-o-o-ooooog...
Togi: *sipathetically* Togipriiiii!
Tog: Tog?
Hiro: Hey Pikachu Pokédex, what are they saying?
Talking Pikachu Pokédex: The female said we can still be friends.
Hiro: Ah...
CHAPTER 8
Hiro headed to the gym to get his second badge.
Hiro: I hope the gym blows up like last time. That makes it so much easier. You ready tog? You ready Pichu?
Tog: TOGIPRRIIIIIIIIIIII! *This means NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! In Togepi language. *
Pichu: Pi-Pichu-Pi!*This means No, you suck in Pichu language, but Hiro didn't check his Pikadéx
Hiro: Good.
He kicked the twins guarding the door to move them, then hypnotised the whole gym and had all their Pokémon do self destruct and blow up the gym like the one in violet.Everyone died, so Hiro took the badge and everyone's money. Then he left for the forest on the other side of town.

CHAPTER 9
Hiro walked through a building leading to the forest and saw a crazy old woman reading a magazine from December, 1899 upside down and laughing strangely.
Oldy: Is that you, Bosco Brown? kleglelegfe!
Hiro: RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
Oldy: Meet the one who talks at dawn and sleeps at midnight!!!!!
Hiro: RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
Oldy: The forest protector made me smart like this. cackleglee!!!
Hiro: Oooookaayyyyyyy....
He walked through the forest and saw a little boy who'd lost his farfetch'd.
Hiro: Do you need help, little boy?
Little Boy: Yes, please, I've lost my farfetch'd and I'm too scared to find it.
Hiro: Well, too bad! You shouldn't be scare, it's just a forest...
Suddenly a spinarak jumped from a tree in front of Hiro.
Hiro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Little boy: Don't be scared, that's just my spinarak!
Hiro: No, It's eating your farfetch'd!
Both: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Hiro tries to run, but he runs into a dead tree.
Hiro: Hey kid, do you have cut?
Kid: Sure!
Hiro: Thanks!
He takes cut and teaches it to Tog.
Hiro: TOG, CUT!!!!!!!!
Tog cuts and he walks through the tree.
CHAPTER 10

As Hiro walked through he saw a bird house that said
Birdhouse: Welcome to the shrine of the Forest Protedtor!
Hiro: Who's That?
Man behind sigbn: I'll tell you later!
Hiro: Oh man!
Hiro kept walking until he found a fork in the road. He said
Hiro: Tog, You're magic. Tell me the way!
Tog: Tog?
Hiro: Wellllllllllll?
Tog: *Pointing left* Tog!
Hiro: Okay, right!
Tog: Tog?
Hiro: Get back in your Pokéball!!!!!
Hiro got Tog put back in his Pokéball. He then saw a kid.
Kid: I'm having fun headbutting trees!
Hiro: I want to have fun too!
Hiro took the headbutt TM and taught it to Tog.
Tog, Headbutt!!!!!!!
Tog, Not understanding, sticks his head up his @$$.
Hiro: You stupis ***** -*** crap head! You're supposed to hit the tree!!!!!
Tog fell and rolled into a tree.
Hiro: How did you get out of your Pokéball, anyway? Get back in there!
Tog ran away until he reached a building.
Hiro: HA! Stupid Togs can't open doors!
He put the Tog back in it's Pokéball.
He went inside and smeeled a SWEET SCENT.
Hiro: That smell... It makes me want to steal.... It makes me want to smell it all the time... I'm doing crazy stuff!
Hiro took the lady's sweet scent.
Lady: There has been so much theivery in thisd stody!

CHAPTER 11
Well, hiro started out of the house, and right away he saw a wierd dog.
Hiro: HEY! THAT'S A DOG!
Other trainer on road: So? Who cares?
Hiro: There are no real animals in the world of pokémon!
Other trainer: It's a something, not a dog! LET'S FIGHT!
Hiro: Gimme a rest.
Trainer: NO!RATTATA GO~!
Hiro: Rattata? HA! You must suck a s a pkémn trainer!
Trainer: I dont't, I'm not a trainer. I never got a licsende. rattata, tail whip!
Hiro: You idiot! I didn't send out a pok1mon!
Trainner: Oops.
Hiro: TOG! METRONOME!
Tog used cut and cut off rsattas tail.
Hiro: Give me money now or pay!
Kid: Booho! Poor rattate.
He steals hiros money and leaves.
Hiro: Oh man, not back to this again...
Hiro saw a dad and his kid. thi kid had a pikachu mask on, and he said
Little boy: Look daddy! A wak little **** for us to kill.
Dad: WATCH YOUR MOUTH JR!
hIRO: PREPARE TO die!
Hiro tog's uses metronome unil it kills the snuble.
Dad: Now you've gone and upset my sone.
Hiro: You think I care?
Hiro pushes thie kid into a fence and walks toward a new house.
This better be the gym, or I'll kill something!
Pikachu Pokédex: It's not the gym.
Hiro: SHUT UP POKéDEX.
hE KILLS A PASSING DITTO.
CHAPTER 12

As hiro was walking past a house, he saw an old man standing outside the back door, watching some pokémon having eggs (if you know what I mean).
Hiro thought. (for the second time in this story)
Hiro:This must be where the tog egg came from!HEY MAN!
Old breeder: Toodle pip, young feller me bucko!
Hiro: You've been reading too much redwall. GO TOG!
Hiro showed the old man tog, and the old man said
Old breeder:Is this the egg that I gave Mr. Pokeémon?
Hiro: No, It's the egg vthat came out ov my @$$.
Old breeder: Dear, get some soap! This one's got a dirty mouth.
An old hag came out from the kitchen with a dirty, hairy bar of soap.
Old hag: *deep voice*I could only find the shower soap.
Old breeder: Don't want to foul our best soap with the likkes of his mouth. Get the plunger!
The old had went into a filthy bathroom and got out a brown-stained plunger ad shoved it into hiros mouth.
Old breeder: You owe us 1500 yen for this good cleaning, young rip!
Hiro: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*gasp*ooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo*gasp*o!!!!I'm broke. bye!
Hiro ran into goldenrod city, and saw a Rocket by a big building.
Hiro: Oooooooohhhhhhh, big shiny stick!~ MINE!
He walked alll over the teAM ROCKET guy and walked right through the door!
Hrio: I ant a radio!
Lady: You hacve to passt a teast first!
Hiro: Where's the test!
The lady hands hiro a paper.
Hiro scribbles and thinks for about 5 hours, while all of team rocket walk into the building and take it over.
Hiro:HERE!
Lady: You get a double f minus!
HiroL: SHUT UP ***** !
Hiro steals a raidno card and rusn into a rocket!

Chapter 13
Suddenly, some weird music started playing.
Hiro: Where's that weird music coming from?
Rocket Grunt: *grunting* Dunno. GO! RATTATA!
Hiro: Haha! Go! Lapras!
Rocket grunt: Oh wait, I'm not supposed to be here yet! 'kay, bye!
Hiro: Oh brother...
Hiro left the radio tower and started listening to the radio. Suddenly, a bunch of pokémon came out of the houses and walked aroun with him.
Hiro: What th- Oh yeah! The pokémon march summons pokémon. He threw a bunch of pokéballs and caught a rattata, a cyndaquil, a squirtle, a wooper, a caterpie, and a suicune.
Hiro: Yes! I caught... uh.. ummmmmmm.... a bunch of pokémon that I don't know!
He went to the gym, but when he got there, whitney was already crying.
Hiro: YOU'RE NOT SUPOOSED TO CRY UNTIL i BEAT YOU! WHY ARE ;YOU CRYING?
Whitney: Fred came and stole my pokémon...
Hiro: Good! Now I can beat you properly. Lapras, use...
Hiro:*evilly*Hyper pump.
Lapras started chargng up.
Whitney: What's Hyper pump?
Lapras put it's head in it's shell...
Hiro: It's my new move, TM 51. It's a cross between hyper beam abd hydro pump. GO!
lAPRAS USED HYPER PUMP AND BALSTEDC WHITNEY INTO THE WALL.
Hiro: Gimme a badge now!
Whitney: *Retarded voice* I DUNNO...
Hiro: Fine! I'll take at by force!
Whitney: I DUNNO...
Hiro garbed the badge ad ran out of the gym.
Hiro: Man I'm faat. I wish I had a skateboard.

Chapter 14
Just as the thought entered Hiro's head, he realized that he was lost.
Hiro: Oh man! Now I'm gonna have to walk around for hours and burn calories. That will make me hungry. I need a skateboard!
Just then he spotted a sign:
Sign: New, skateboard shop, opening tomorrow!
Hiro: Hey! A back door that leads into the shop. I'll get a skateboard.
Hiro got a skateboard, then, lookingback, he grabs the phone list.
Hiro: It's Prank-call night! Hey! I'll call up mom!
Hiro dialed his mom's number on the pokégear, and got the machine.
Answering machine: Hi hiro! It's ma. kleglefle!I'm in jail, and the cops tagged that, uh, thing I gave you, so don't have too much, ah, fun with it tonight! AAAAG!*CLICK, BANG!* AAAAAAA!
Hiro: Mom's dead.
...
...
...
Oh well, justwrap the body in newspaper, she can't tell the difference.
Hiro: Now, to get unlost...

CHAPTER 15
Hiro was walking when suddenly he came to a house.
Hiro: Hmmm, I wonder if there's anything In this house. i'll go check. KNOCK KNOCK!
Lady in house: Stop yelling you stupid kid! You'll wake my fatass husband.
Hiro: Where am I?
Lady:You're in glodenrad, moron! i'LL check you're pokémon!
Hiro: Huh?
Lady: Ha! Just as I suspected! All your pokémon think your a retard.
Hiro: You scare me!
Hiro ran out of the house and across the railroad tracks.
Heiro: Haha! *singing* walkin' on the tracks!
Suddenly a train comes through.
Drver of train: Hey kid get off the tracks! You moron!
Hiro: Hey! I just went to the station and they said that all the trains broke down!
Driver: Oh yeah! Bye!
Hiro walked out of goldenrod into a buildng.
Guy behind counter: Hi guy! Take this stupid ugly bird to a random person on route 29 so I can have a good laugh at him, ok?
Hiro: Heck no! That's cruel and unusual punishment!
Hiro: ...For me. You're gonna have to deliver that bird yourself!
Guy: Ok! Well, I think I'll follow you around until I can get there! By the way, My name's mike, and I think you have a nice arse.
Hiro: Ok, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in this story, but I am still freaked out, so , uh, I'm leaving.
Mike: Hey wait for me! I had a ekans once! Once I fed it some beer!
Hiro: Ooooooooookay...
Mike: And i[blah blah]and the[yap yap]my mom says[dribble dribble dribble]! Isn't that cool?
Hiro: Um, Ya, whatever. I'm going to ee, eekru, um The next city!
Mike: Me too! and then [blah blah blawdy blar]...
Hiro: It's going to bee a long rest of this stupid story.
Hiro and mike started walking. And walking and walking...
Mike: Yap yap blaw blaw HEHEHE!
Hiro: Do you have an off switch or something?
Mike: Blaw blaw? Gikkle yee dribble!
Hiro: Oh great. Now I've tuned out his jabber completely and can't understand a thing he says.
Mike: Who[blaw yap]talking[goo!]o?
Hiro: Must...Find...Earplugs!
Mike:Geegoo blaw yap dribble!
Suddenly they came to another building.
Hiro: Where do you think this buildig goes, Mike?
Mike: Angangang blee!
Hiro: Why do I bother?
Mike: I dunno.
Hiro: Mike, did you just say something?
Mike: WAUWAU cheese!
Hiro: -_-'
They walked through the building, and saw a guard.
Guard: FREEZE!
Mike: blaw?
Guard: Oh my god! You've released Mike on the world again! Run!
The guard runs and hides under the desk.
Mike: Gobbledegook!
Hiro: What the...
Hiro: Oh well, it's cool. LESGO MIKE!
Mike: Aroof!
They walked through the door on the other side of the building and came out in a park. They saw a man who was not hiding in terror at the sight and sound of Mike.
Man: Hello, would you like to join the bug catching game?
Hiro: Sure! Does it start in a few minutes?
Man: No, it doesn't start 'till tuesday, but if we lock you up in the bug catcher hotel, he won't be able to terrorize the world again!
Hiro: ??
Mike: Blaw!

Chapter 17

Hiro: LET US OUT YOU PEICE OF ****!
Mike: Blaw blawdy Blar...
Hiro: Why have you locked me up with this nuthouse?!?
Man listening outside door: I'll tell you for 5000 yen.
Hiro: Ok!
The man opens the door and lets hiro out quickly before mike can get out.
Man: About 3 years ago, Mike left his house in the Tofu League to come and train here in Johto. Unfortunately, he never got his liscence, for as soon as Professor Tree discovered his dark power, he banned him from getting a trainer liscence ever!
Hiro: What dark power?
Man: The power to.....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Hiro:I'm waiting.
Man: Hold your horses. I'm doing my best to make something up!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Ah! The power to..., bore the ears off of people!
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOO!
Man: Yup. He terrorized the world for, like, 2 years. I'm surprised you didn't hear about it.
Hiro: I was too busy watching cartoon Network.
Man: Well, good for you. Fortunately, a man came up with the new radio headphone hat™, and the sound blocked out mikes jabber, so nobody could hear it! Then we locked mike and his evil dark power away forever, in the-
Hiro: Ooooh! Lemme guess! Lemme guess! Is it... Uh, the Dead Zone?
Man: No, actually it was the route house pass through building by goldenrod.
Hiro: Oh man. Now I'm stuck with a psycho talker kid, who will follow me around everywhere!
Man: Wait! There is hope! There is one person in the world left who still has a radio headphone hat! Her name is Aunt Jemima! She's a supid old lady who is very very very dum!!!. You must find her before Mike destroys the world again!
CHAPTER 18

Hiro: Outta my way, you old fag!
Man: Are you gonna go find Jemima now? And where's my money?
Hiro: No, I'm not gonna go find some gay old lady so you will all be happy, I have a better idea.
Hiro takes all of the man't hair (which is a wjole lot) rips it off, cause it is actually a wig, and shoves it in mikes mouth.
Mike: b[muffle]kspdl[hair]ya[muffle]!
Hiro: Yay! It worked!
Man: That's nibe, but where's my monety? I need to buy some ben gay and a new wig!
Hiro: Oh yeah! That's right! I left it in the room you locked me in. You better go get it!
Man: Okies!
The man walked into the room and hrio locked him in.
Hiro: *running* SUCKER!
Hiro runs through the park and sees a whole bunch of bugs.
Hori: Oh yeah! I gotta join the bug-catching game!
Hiro walked into the house again, steals a sticker and 75 Park balls, and goes out into the park. He catches a level 2 scyther, and the contest ended.
Man behind other counter: The winner for this contest is... Gaytrainer Nick! You win a solar stone. Everyone else wins a nut! Ha!
Hior: I WANNA BIG GLOWY ROCK THINGY!
Hiro takes the solar stone and runs out of the house.
Hiro: Man I'm fat. I wish I had a skateboard. Oh yeah! I do!
Hiro jumped on the skateboard and rolled right into a tree!



CHAPTER 19

Hiro: Ow, my head hurts. OW! IT HURTS AGAIN, YOU MORON!
Mike: sgnjshgbsd;ilgjsadkgndapijgdkjgfhndlghladjgod?
Hiro: A pinecone fell on my head!
Pikachu Pokédex: Pineco...
Hiro: Stupid Pikachu!!!
Pikachu Pokedex: Pikachu Pokédex...
Hiro: NO MORE CORRECTING!!!
Pikachu Pokédex: Corrections...
Hiro takes the Pikachu pokédex and shoves it in his Lapras's shell.
Hiro kicks the Pineco. Then he shoves it into his backpack and walks away.
Pikachu Pokédex: *super muffled* Um, your forgetting someting...
Hiro throws a rack at Pikachu Pokédex, ecaus it was coming out. Then he thinks for 17 days and 19 nights.
Hiro: Oh yeah! Where's my breakfast!
Pikachu Pokédex: *muffled static* Not that, you retard!
Hiro Thinks until a kid throws a rock at him.
Hiro: Oh yeah! I caught a Pineco!
Kid who threw rock: Man, your'e dense. That's mine! By the way, I'm Alan, and I'm a achoolboy, so call me schoolboy alan!
Hiro: Howabout Alan Pickyournosewithgumponyourlargeheadandlotsofhairwh
oisgay? That's the only Alan I ever knew. And man, did he live up to his name.(also known as Soto)
Alan: Hey! Don't talk about my brither that way! I'm not really alan! I'm his sister, Ashley Soto!
Hiro: Oh my god! Not Ashly Fatasswhineyplaywithmyhairalldaylongbigasacowandst
upiderthanstupid?(also known as Soto)
Ashley: YES!!! Now I'll sit on you!!!
Hiro: Save me Mike!!!
Mike: noeijgasihgklsajfjkhgjzsighjrasgnjsdmiglsdjfvksdjk
glkdgaej igjtsti0e-tik[wgmgk 5y5yi3568305itk m53v mtru834693863otm wpwtjae]ptgRIY-EUTG0r9tue-9tu 43t-03t i93u63ui 6-teb!!!!!!~&%&*^$^&%*#$CYTC^%E^%#^
Ashley: Ha! I'm far to whiney and obnoxieous to be disturbed by noise like that!
Hiro: Nooooooooooooooo*gasp*o-

KRUNCH!

CHAPTER 20

Hiro: Hey, thanks for throwing that stick under ashley's fat @$$!
Kid who threw stick: Your welcome.
Hiro: Whell? What the hell is your name>
Kid: Oh, the name's blade. I'm a great trainer who dedicates his life to get ENTEI, SUICURNE and RAIKOU.
Hiro: Well good for you and howdee doo! Mike!
Mike: nfopsdihgsdiifle?
Hiro: YOUR FIRED! Go back to your route house. This guy's gonna be my security guard now.
Blade: Excuse me? I never said I was going anywhere...
Hiro: Yeah, but I know you will becuase if you don't I will beat you over the head savagely with my pineco that doesn't have a Pokéball.
Blade: I wanna catch it!!!!
Hiro: No, that's it's name, you retard! Pineco that doesn't have a Pokéball!
Blade: Uhhh... Ok!
Hiro: *Boots mike into the bug catcher's office* Tie hiim up, boys! LESGO BLADE!
Blade: Aroof!
They walked for about a minute until Hiro saw an indian albino midget.
Hiro: Hey! It's a little indian mn!
They chased him throught thte woods to his tirbe next to the bug catcher's game but no one could see it anyway.
Indian leader: Ooga Booga!
Hiro: I am hiro! what is your tribe?
Whole Tribe: Indian Tribe! Indian Tribe!
Hiro: LESGO!
Whole Tribe: Aroof!
Blade: How does he do that?

CHAPTER 21

Hiro, Blade, and the indian Tribe walked around aimlessly for days until they came to a wiggley tree.
Hiro: Move, stupidass wigglytree!!!!! Nobody Likes you!
Blade: *mumbling* These people scare me. They're gonna get me arrested and sent to mars on a huge splace shuttle with al of them one of these days. NO HIRO! I CAN';T KILL TREES!!!
Hiro: LESGO TRIBE!
Tribe: Aroof!
Hiro dadges out of the way just in time as the whole indian tribe tramples the tree and runs away.
Hiro scoops up the injured, comatose, near-dead sudowoodo and shoves it into a Pokéball.
Hiro: Man, I'm catching a lot of Pokémon! LESGO BLADE!
Blade: Aroof!
They walk until they get to Ecruteak City. Then they go to the Burneythingy tower.
Fred: Hiro, your a gay retard!
Hiro: Do you want me to kill you again?
Fred: I'm not dead ye- Oh crap! I am dead! I gotta go resurrect myself! Your a retaaaaaaaaard!
Fred's ghost floats away toward an island that was erupting from a volcano, even though it didn't have one.
Chapter 22

Hiro and Blade walked along through the burned tower and saw a bunch of guys breathing fire.
Hiro: Hey! HEY! I WANNA BREATHE FIRE!!!
Firebreather McGulinny: I'll fight you and if I win I can breathe fire and If you lose I can breathe fire!
Hiro: Sounds like a fair deal to me. GO UNOWN NUMBER 21!!!
Hiro threw a pokéball containing a unown shaped like the letter U.
Firebreather McGulinny:GO MAGBY!!!
Firebreather McGulinny's magby poked the unown in it's eye and the unown fainted.
Firebreather McGulliny: I can breathe fire!!! Yippee! Yay!!! Weeeeedelyhoodney!
Hiro: *gasp* Oh...no! *sputter choke* Whiting*cough* out! NOOOOOOOOO-
Firebreather McGulinny squirts a whole bottle of white-out in hiro's face and runs away.
Fred: Hiro, I'm gonna fight you 'cause I'm back to life now!
Giro: Hey! my name's different! Who's the bozo in charge of this!
Me: It's just a typo you moron.
Chapter 23

Fred: Hiro your a retard now I'm gonna kill you with my hounter go!
Hiro: Go lapras!
Suddenly a bunch of statues turned into dogs and ran them both over nad killed haunter.
Hiro: HAHA! I win with my sneaky little tricks! Haha!
Fred: Hiro your a retard you didin't trick me those stupid dogs ran me over now I'm gonna run away and call you weak just like always! You weak!
Fred runs away so Hiro goes to the g;uhn and finds moryt talking to Blade. BLADE I WILL NOT HAVE A TREASONOUS BODYGUARD YOU ARE FIRED UNTIL I SAY GO BACK HOME YOU RETARD!
Blade steals Hiro's suicune and runz away.
Blade: Haha I finally got one of those super dog things!!!
Hiro: Damn why do all these people suck and are super-goofy.
Morty: In order to fight me you must first beat me and then find the badge.
Hiro: Howabout I jsut beat you savagely over the head with Pineco that Doesn't Have a Pokéball.
Moryt: Hey! I wanna catch it and rub myself!
Hiro: THA'TS ITS BAME WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO TRY TO STEAD IT!
Me: Because I said. Now the chapters over and next time you will actually have to fight for your badge. Haha!
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO*gasp*OOOOOOOOOOOO*gasp*OOOOO! Ok see you next time folks!
Chapter 24

Morty: I will give you a badge if you talk to the video camera!
Hiro: Ha! The video was recording so I am taking the tape to the cops and tell them that you arre trying to steal smallchildren!
Morty: they won't arrest me! I'm cool!
Hiro: Ah, that's gross! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!! LESGO!
Ten minutes later...
Mike: *panting after running all the way from the route house pass through building* [akjfopknkfdjf]Aroof![adkjfasij]
Hiro: BLAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDEEEEE!!!!!!!
Blade: Ha, I knew you couldn't live without me, so I was wating outside!
Hiro: whatever. I need you to hold gay morty while I beat him savagely over the head with my Pineco that doesn't have a Pokeball!
Blade: I wanna-- oh, wait, ha ha, you did't ge me!
Hiro: what the hell is everybodys problem! thats it's name!!!!!
Hiro: Anyway, LESGO!!!
Blade and Mike: Aroof!
Morty:Nooooooooooooo! I have stolen kids! Please!
Hiro: Shut up bisnach!
Ten minutes later, after a savage beating of a certain gym leader...
Hiro: Where's the badge, foolish morty?
Morty: *etarded voice* i dunno!
Hiro: TELL ME LOSER!
Morty: I dunno...
Hiro: Blade, your evil anyway! Search him for the badge!
Blade: Hey, I'm not like that yo, I was just trying to get the bad-
Hiro: I said, get it! LESGO!!!!!
Blade: *hopping to it* Aroof!
Blade: *thinking* how does he do that?

[Lady Vulpix]

Well, some parts were funny, but I found some others disgusting. And some chapters had a lot of typos, especially chapter 4. And some parts went too fast.
Maybe without the massive killing it would have been fun to read. The parts where you mocked the games were enjoyable.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Thanks for the criticism, LV. It's very encouraging to get replies, even for as horrinble a story as this. It feels good to get back to actually writing new chapters, instead of reposting. But enough rambling, on with the show!

Chapter 25
After Blade got the badge, he had to wash himself.
Hiro: NO WASHIE! MORE POKéMON BADGE THINGIE!
Blade: My hands are covered with poo! And other stuff ok?
Mike: a;lkjdf;laskjf;ldsjf;sdkljfklfjmdkdkdkGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Blade: Mike's right! There's a lake thing coming up soon!
Hiro: HANGON DUMASS!
Hiro checks his map that he stole from the old guy.
Hiro: Ok theres a lake about 14 miles north of the next city. You can WASH you little handies there ok?
Blade: But that's a five day hike!
Mike: Jibbajabba
Suddenly Blade takes off his mask and HE IS TEAM ROCKET!
Blade: Prepare for trouble!
Other person who was in blade costume: And make it--*blablabla speech*
Hiro: What the hell?
Blade: Shutup already-- Hey, my names not blade!!!
Me: Then what IS your name, little miss prissypribcess?
Blade: BOB!
Hiro: Ok whatever.
Bob/Blade: HAHA! I still have "your" badge now Hiro ha! nd I have your dog so I am gonna be super now!!!
Hiro: Geez it's just a Level 1/2 Fat Old Dog and a ghetto badge covered with crusty poop.
Hiro: Waitaminnute--NOOOOOOOOooookay enough of that THE END FOR NOW.

But then Hiro decided to woke up.

Chapter 27

Hiro: We're going now!!! Lesgo!
Mike & Blade: Aroof!
Mike: *thinking* blasnegficntblvnbokg?*
Blade: Yeah, how does he do that?
Me: How the hell did you read thoughts???
Blade: Who said that? Go away, bigvoiceman!
Hiro: Hey! What about me!!?!
Mike: blsnefgxxzoknidi3nb!
Blade: Yeah, Mikes right again! Nobody cares about you!
Hiro: YOUR BOTH FIRED AGAIN SO GET OUT OF MY SIGHTT!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 28

Hiro: Oh great! In all the confusion, I'm lost!
Suddenly he saw a sign.
Sign: Hey moron! Want a tip?
Hrio: NO!
Sign: Toobad! My tip is really usefull and will help you beat everyone!
Hiro: Well what the hell is it??!?
Sign: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: Aaah!!!t
Suddenly a fat old lady in a kimono threw a Pokéball at him.
Hiro: Hey! What's the idea!
Lady: Come watch me dance!
Hiro: But your fat and ugly!
Lady: I'll give you an american dollar...
Hiro: An american dollar??? That's worth like 5000000000 yen!
Lady: Yeah so?
Hiro: Done and done!
Me: What's going on?...
Hiro: You've been coming into the story too much! You're fired!
Me: Oh mannn... Again...?
Hiro: GOAWAY!
Lady: Now for the dance!
Hiro: Now way, fattyoldyug! You're fired too!
Lady: But I'm paying you...
Hiro: EXACTLY! Now leave me alone!



...And now I've got writer's block so that's it for now kiddos

[pikachu_rulez]

Hmmm...this makes less and less sense as it goes....and I LOVE it! Muhahahaha. Mindless Pokemon nonsense. Just what Nurse Jenny offered :D

Hmm and I see you're also a Jhonen fan...don't steal HIS mindless nonsense now :P

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, heres a chapter. Oh, and if it's not good, I've got mega writer's block, so blame me.


Chapter 29

Suddenly Hiro realised that he was even more lost.
Hiro: Man, I'm fat and lost. I wish I had a map and a skateboard.
Random guy on street: You do!
Hiro:No I don't.
Random: Yes you do. You're holding them in front of you face and staring at them!
Hiro:Prove me wrong, will you? Here they're yours now!!! Buahahahaha!
Random: Bahahahaha
Together: Buahahahaha!
Hiro: Buahahooookay that's enough of that!
Hiro walked away towared the north.
Random: *faintly* Buahahahaha...
Hiro: Man, what a super-goofy freak.*idea*
Hiro runs back to the guy.
Hiro: Ho'd you liike to b my bodyguard!!
Random[who's name is PingPong]: Ok but remember I only speak yiddish! Ybid Dyoid!
Hiro: Shut up and guard. What are you Pokémon?!~!
PingPong: I have a wiggleytree.
Hiro: THEEF THEEF STEALING MY BEEF!
Pingpong: What the hell are you talking about?
Hiro: Can't you see chapter 21 I scooped the dead wigtre into my Pokéball!
PP: Wel you forgot to pick it up stupid!!!
Hiro: Ok at least its reasonable. LESGO!!!
PP: Aroof!


Meh. It came out ok. I'll keep it.

[Powarun]

Crazy moronic and hard to follow, please take thses as compliments

[The Decapitated Mole]

I always do. :P

Chapter 30

Hiro: Hey P! Wer going into that towerok?
PP: What are you talking about EH?
Hiro: Tower! You seen it now for it HAPPENS!
PP: What you mean that Burney tower?
Hiro: NO fag! I arleady wnet there!
PP: So its the scrapmetal tower?
Hiro: THat's the one!
Hiro and PingPong walk into the...KUKLUXKLAN MEETING!!!
Hiro: AA! GHOSTS!!?!
PP: What the hell was that questionmark for?
KKK guy: I hate japanese guys!
Hiro: WERE ALL JAPANESE fool!
The KKK guys shoot themselves and the moks are free.
Hiro: What is even going on here? Who ar the monks!?
PP: Haha I am a monk!
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooohey look a bird!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Holy crap, I must have been high when I wrote that last chapter. O well.

Chapter 31

Suddenly Hiro saw a bird.
Hiro: NOOO... I saw the bird last time narrationman!
Oh no he didn't! It's right there and now Hiro saw a bird.
PingPong:HA I AM THE MASTER!
Hiro: What are you talking about? Why are you even here, you don't have anything tto do with it?
Suddenly Fred came and took the bird.
Hiro: FRED! YOU LISTEN HERE FRED! I SAW IT FIRST!
Fred: No way man!
Hiro: But you're a suckie teamrocketfan!
Fred: Nope I'm reasonable now! I just want to steal your pokemon!
Hiro: I am SO confused!
Pp: Heres the deal: You fired the writer so no one is writing the story anymore.
Hiro: This isn't a story it's Pokémon, the world series!!!
Fred: Anywho, since no one is writing, it's not making any sense. That is all now.
Hiro: So it's all in our imagination!
P.P: No! It's all your fault!
Hiro:Your fired again man! Now I'm goin to the next city cause I've been here for almost half the TV SHOW until now. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be now!




[The real story: From about May-June 2002 to halfway through March 2003, I didn't write any new chapters in this, so kind of got out of it and forgot a lot of stuff happening, which is why the new chapters are kind of... "different."][Also I'm just getting weirder]

[The Decapitated Mole]

Whell, this is it! My crappy story is two years old today. Im gonna celebrate by typing two new full-length chapters right here in the text box just like I used to!

Chapter 32

Hiro finally left the last city without even doing much.
Hiro: Wow this story is crappy. I was in that city for about a year and I barely did a thing.
Suddenly a GUY came and challenged him!
Guy: Hey man I saw you now I'm gonna fight!
Hiro: I don't wanna fight you please leave me alone!
Guy: Nope! I saw you first so you're mine for the taking!
The guy sent out a RATICATE.
Guy: Haha Raticate use EAT!
The raticate ate the Pokéballs containing the unown U through Y1/2 and ran away.
Guy: HEY MAN! You stole my raticate!
Hiro: Man your dense! It hates you!
Guy: No way! Now I'll use my other Pokémon that wasn't STOLEN *Evil Glare at Hiro*MAGNEMITE!
Hiro: Ha since you ate my pokes I'm gonna steal your pokemon!
Hiro threw a pokeball.
Hiro: Haha now this thing is mine!
Suddenly a MISSINGNO came down and flew away with the Pokéball.
~**YOU CANT STEAL OTHER TRAINER'S POKéMON**~
Hiro: AAA! HEARING VOICES IN MY BRAIN!!!!!
Guy: You don't even have brains you big POKEMON THIF!
Suddenly Hiro beat the Magnemite savagely over the head with his PINECO THAT DOESN'T HAVE A POKéBALL and shoved both of them back in his bag.
Guy: Bohoo. Now I've got no Pokés.
Hiro:Too bad! I see some flowers!
Guy: Hey! Did you know that you can find stuff in the flowers?
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Chapter 33

As Hiro was running away from the crazy guy he hit another tree.
Hiro: CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!
Tree: Shut up!
Hiro: AA!
While Hiro was contemplating the tree, a fat mokney fell on his head.
Hiro:AA ITS THE SCARY MONKEY! WHAT THE HELL IS IT PIKADEX?
No answer.
Hiro: HEY PIKADEX YOU PIEVCE OF CRAP! ANSWER ME!
Hiro kicked his bag and out rolls a dead Pikachu.
Hiro: Wow... I killed a talking Pikachu Pokédex.
Hiro: DAMN YOU PIKADEX! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY YOUR WORTH!
Hiro kicks the pikadex and it's alive!
Pikadex: I want to ride on your hed!
Hiro: Fine. Now what the hell is that monkey!
Pikadex: I don't know what it is dumbass! Catch it!
Hiro: But your supposed to know all the pokemon!
Pikadex: I only find out the info after you catch it! So catch it mron so I can learn!
Then hiro threw the Pikadex at the monkey and put it in a pokeball.
Pikadex: It's a Aipom. It's got a monkey but it has a hand on its tail.
Hiro: Oh great I got stuck with the freak of the bunch!
Pikadex: *Sigh*...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Haha I can't be stopped! You think by not replying to this you will silence me?? Well, that may have worked in the past, BUT IT WON'T WORK AGAIN!


Chapter 34

Hiro was walking with the Pikadex on his head.
Hiro: Why are you even ridijg my head anyway?
Pkadex: Because I died you fool! LOOK A FARM!
Hiro looked and saw the farm.
Hiro: COWS!
Pikadex: How do you even know what a cow is, fool? THERE ARE NO REAL ANIMALS, REMEMBER?
Cow: Hey man, that's insulting. LESGO guys!
Ohter Cows: Aroof!
All the cows left revealing some MILTANK!
Hiro: Hey its a sick fake cow!
Little girl: Will you collect nuts from flowers for us to heal it?
Hiro: i have some now!
Hiro shoves the nut out of his backpack and throws it at the miltank so it dies.
Girl: WAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH!!!!! *it looks like laughing but it's actually crying*
Then her fat old farmer came out with a shotgun.
Farmer: NO SOUP FOR YOU, FOOL! GET OFF MY LAWN!
Hiro ran and ran until he was seen by another trainer.
Sailor: Haha we'll battle now you fool!
Hiro: Haha electric is better than water so Pichu GO!
Sailor: Haha Lv. 30 is better than Lv. 10 so Gyarados GO!
Hiro: Haha I GOT THE GYARADOS! RUN AWAY PICHU!
Hiro takes a giant pokéball and closes it around lapras while kicking the Pichu over the trees into the ocean.
Hiro: Haha it's mine!
He captures the big pokeball with a regular pokeball and leaves.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Why do you people refuse to reply to this?I know you're reading. This topic is flaming and it's only got 13 posts? Please, reply!


Chapter 35

Hiro was walking toward the big port city thing when he saw a big tower sticking out of the ground.
Hiro: Hey, there's a big housey-thing growing here! It must have eaten the nutrients and killed the city!!!!!
Pikadex: Hiro your a moron! I'll kill you now, except I need your head o sit!
Hiro walked into the building, and saw a guy.
Hiro: Hey guy! Why did you eat the city! Hu? Huhu? Huhuhuhuhuhuuuuuhuhuuuhhhhuuuhu?
Guy: Go away! You suck and the city is over in the other houses! By that ocean thing!
Hiro: Why dont I just eat you!
Guy: Ok this really does suck now. So long folks!


I'm sorry that sucked, but I'm very depressed at the moment.

[Tha Legend]

This story was stupid ridiculous funny. I shot soda out of my nose, and onto the keyboard. I will just choose to believe this isn't a serious writing attempt. I love it for what it is. It's so terrible, it's genius.
~Legend~

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, when I first started writing it, it was a serious attempt, but then I realized that I suck at wrtiting and that my natural insanity would pretty much prevent me from writing anything really serious, so I combined the two and out popped this little gem here. Sorry, though, no new chapters, as I'm afraid I've reposted everything I had, and newly written all that I've got in my head at the moment. I'll see if I can do something later.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Hmmm... That poll makes me sad, but I knew it all along. Oh well. I'm gonna attempt to write a new chapter now.


Chapter 36

Hiro got so angry, because he left the building thing and couldn't find it. Well, that doesn't say much for navigation now, does it?
Hiro: Why don't I find the city?
Pikachu Pokédex: Well, now that you're an idiot, you are in the city!
Hiro: Well, I think that's just a lie! I see a resteraunt, so I'll go find it!
Hiro enters the restourant and finds a fish.
Fish: I'm not a fish, you RETARD!
*in hiro's head*: Fish: Gulb Gub Fishy fishy duck!
Hiro: Fish don't say duck you moron!
Well, then the fish got so mad that he threw his GOOD ROD at Hiro. Wow, how did that even happne?
Hiro: I gots me a rod, now! Hahahaha tbel!
Pikachu Pokédex: Why don't I just kill you now?
Hiro: Because this story just gets exponentially weirder!
Fish: By disturbing me, I've gotten you a sandwich.
Hiro: Hey, just because I don't have a bodyguard at the moment, doesn't mean I want your sandwichy EVILS right now!
Suddenly Mike runs into the restaurant.
Hiro: Yay! Now I can eat the sandwich! LESGO MIKE!!!
Mike: Kn;adknfdlkskdkdkd;alskdfa;sdflkjsdf;askflda;skflj a;sdkfj;askldfjsl;dkfj;skladjfsa;dljkf--
*TRANSLATION*Mike: Hey man! I'm bodyguarding fred now! You're just a mean heartelss old man with you're sandwich, and you fired me too many times! i ain't gonna do this no more! You just--*end translation*
Hiro: I said LESGO!!!!!!
Mike: M..Kdd...M...Noadkoooo!!! AROOF!
Hiro: What?
Mike: AROOF!
Hiro: Good. Now, let's be on our way...



Wow... That was rather weird. I think I'll make mike loyal to Hiro again in the future. That chapter was okay, I think the 6 red bulls I just had helped. Oh well. Enjoy it.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, it appears that all I needed was a small vacation. But anyway, lately I've been yearning to write a new chapter, so let's see how it goes, shall we? *Oh MAN, my foot is itchy! What's up with that?*

Chapter 37

Hiro and Mike were walking.
Hiro: So you're a bodyguard, eh? How's that working out for ya?
Mike: kadmadfklmas, kdjasdfedke. afmkmeidkfndkwla;s.*sigh*
Hiro: Oh yeah, I forgot. Time to TRANSLATE!!!
He pulls the Pikachu Pokédex out from under the seat.
Pikadex: But we're walking!
Hiro: You dare argue with me? Back to the horrible seaty dooms that await you!
Mike: a;mfasdkdmdkdfnakdl! Fodladodllool.
Pikadex: Haha, he just called you a fool.
Hiro: I KNEW IT! You were out to get me all along!
Pikadex: Now what was that word again?
Mike: ;kjadfakdke,soedfkxdmdkechne.dmemcwmcjel293e0033
Pikadex: Oh yeah! Hey mikey! He likes it!
Hiro: I won't allow this so stop conversing at once!
The Pikadex was going back to that ||UnDeR tHe SeAt|| When all of a sudden, he was stopped by a pair of swim trunks.
Hiro: My bad. I dropped them. So beat it, trunkey!
Trunks: No can do, buddy! I'm canadian now!
Hiro: So you're friendly and good-natured?
Trunks: No! I'm drunk!
Mike: lamdlkadkdkmormciefm?
Pikadex: Yeah! Doesn't that mean you're from Hiro's house?
Hiro: Why you little...
Hiro suddenly strangles Mike. What a cliché!
Pikadex: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[dratinihaunter13]

i just got done watching an episode of simpsons where that scene occurred yet again, so that was weird ^_^. and i had to let ya know! yeah life can suck sometimes, sometimes all the time. ya just gotta try to remind yourself when the next vacation is gonna come around. and it never hurts to give yourself a vacation from stuff. actually, it's probably hurt somebody at least once completely rendering my previous statement to poffycock(sp?). but oh well.

and my over-serious self needs the insanity of this comedy every once in a while, so don't go canning it yet! i just love this kind of wacky comedy. like when the fish said duck. fish don't say duck. ...do they?

[The Decapitated Mole]

Uh...no...of course not... *nervous shifty eye glance thing*

Anyway, according to the poll, this story officially sucks, but I'm bored, and hot, and too tired to do anything else right now, so howabout another chapter, eh?


Chapter 38

They're still walking. Can you believe that? I've started bunches of chapters this way, but it's never been finished.
Hiro: I'm tired of walking.
Mike: ksafmasf[9pekd;asd0
Hiro: Such nonsense, I feel my pride slipping.
Pikadex: What the hell is wrong with you now?
Just then a Fred appears.
Hiro: Well, I suppose you'd like to be evil now?
Fred: Well, I'd fight you, but I have to take a piss!
Fred runs about 25 feet and then randomly dissapears.
Hiro: This is getting more like the game every second.
Now it's time for a Pokémon GYM BATTLE!
Gym: I heard that.
Pikadex: I fear we're all alone here, Mike.
Mike: *sigh* kl;madf;lksdkedm 043 fm olek[3rfj9 cdl,... ba8iu tt asdifma!
Hiro: Well put.
So somehow they're inside the Gym now. I don't quite understand, but it's battle time, so who cares?
Hiro: Oh, that's right. Mike, wha'ts that you said about that gym?
Mike: anmfklsdfj kl;sf
Hiro: DAMN YOU BRAIN! WHY HAVE YOU BLOCKED HIM?????????
Brain: Sorry, Hiro's brain is out at the moment. If you'd like to leave a message after the bleep, nothing will happen. Bleep.

[The Decapitated Mole]

That's right. I have re-written the misadventures of hiro. It now has MORE DETAIL! MORE COMEDY! AND IS WRITTEN IN A DECENT FORMAT!
Fun, eh? And as the chapters progress, the length of them gets longer, and I've added a lot of things, that will start around chapter seven. So here it is; the NEW MisAdventures of Hiro!


Chapter One

Hiro woke up very early one Spring morning, only to realize that his mom had gone insane and made him a Cinnibar Volcano Burger with Baking 'Basco Sauce™ [the hottest and slowest-acting hot sauce on earth] for dinner, and his tongue was disintegrating in his mouth! He was running around with his head in his *** when his insane mother stopped him.

"Heheheheha! I "found" a bunch of stuff while I was, uh, "shopping" in the Quik-E-Mart. Neat quote marks, eh? Eh? Eh?" cackled his mother creepily.

"Yo, Ma Dukes! Ain't that Quik-Mart-E bein' closing for some day or stuff?" babbled Hiro, still trying without success to douse his mouth.

"Don't talk back to your elders!" snapped his mom irritably, "the point is that the cops tagged this, so I want you to have it! BIRTHDAYTIME HAPPIES!" she gleefully shouted wile shoving a shiny new Pokégear into Hiro's pocket.

"B-b-but ma's, if'n I gots it, I am havin' lotsa troubles!?" blubbered Hiro while undertaking plastic surgery to slow the burning process.

"That's right, birthday..." she trailed off unhelpfully.

Well, Hiro was still unable to cool his mouth, so he ran to the sidewalk and proceeded to stick a fire hydrant into his mouth, which, apart from stretching his large head to almost twice its normal size, was somehow able to cool him off. So he went to see his good friend/enemy, Professor Tree, and told him of his current predicament.

"Your mom went crazy again? Well, you'd better take a Pokémon. It can be dangerous out there, you know," said the sympathetic prof.

"Thanks profess--HEY!" Hiro started, as the prof. reached out to take the Pokéball back, remembering the time Hiro put Ben Gay in his shaving cream.

"No way, old dude, this is mine!" shouted Hiro. He ran back home, snuck into his room, and grabbed his Talking Pikachu Pokédex™. He then headed for the path on the other side of town.

And so the adventure begins...

---

You like?

o_0
jimm

[Powarun]

Um okay, no offence but I am speechless, this is a bunch of nonsence in trainer fic form it seems like. Yeah details are nice but it is missing legth and something.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yes, I know it is missing length. I said so in the first post, that the length gets better and better as the chapters progress. I'm only doing this because the old way of this story just got too simple for my taste. I'm not trying to write a trainer fic here. I'm trying to re-write an old imitation trainer fic les horribles.


Chapter Two

As Hiro set off down Route 29, he saw a lanky guy with spiked, crazy green hair and a blue nose plug, who said to him "Hi! I'll show you how to catch Pokémon for 100 yen!"

"But--"Hiro started.

"That's great, just great. Now, I'll just have a look in your wallet to see if you've got the money!" the guy said happily, before counting Hiro's cash, mumbling to himself, "10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, uh, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50! There, perfect!"

"But I thought you said--" Hiro stammered

"Okay, the way you catch Pokémon is to throw a Pokéball and hope it hits the Pokémon! 'Kay, bye!" taught the strange guy cheerfully.

"But I don't have any Pokéballs yet!" Hiro finally managed to get in.

"Okay, well, go buy some in Cherrygrove and I'll show you again for half price!" said the scam artist, for by now even Hiro could tell that he was a scam artist. He sighed in defeat.

Hiro continued down the road a ways until he saw a small ridge. He tried to climb it, but some strange force was stopping him from approaching the four-inch ledge. So he walked around it and saw before him a really funky-lookin' flower. So he said, to no one in particular, "Hmm... What's that flower thingamabobber?.."

Suddenly, a guy on the other side of the flower yelled, in a freaky voice, "you can find stuff in the flowers!"

"But what is--" Hiro began.

"You can find stuff in the flowers!" exclaimed the odd-looking man again.

"BUT WHAT--" Hiro stammered angrily.

"You can find stuff in the flowers!" The guy stated as calmly as ever.

"I DIDN'T ASK WHAT IS IN THEM, I ASKED WHAT THEY AAAAARRRREEE!!" screamed an enraged Hiro. Suddenly, he saw a sign that read this guy is a robotic tourguide.

"Oh brother..." he sighed.







Don't worry, most of the chapters after this one are longer.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

M'kay, here ya go with new chapterness. M'kay?


Chapter Three

Hours later, Hiro was walking exhaustedly through the tall grass. Unfortunately for Hiro, it turned out that the Pokémon Prof. Tree had given him was a level 2 Pichu, which had fainted in his first battle, against a level 3 ratatta. Hiro had fought in 32 Pokémon battles and lost them all horribly. He was all beat up, because after the Pokémon beat up his Pichu, they would turn un him. They did this because they were crazy from pollution fumes and savage for blood.

He finally made it to Cherrygrove City when an old guy stopped him and said "Hi! I live here! For 300 yen I'll show you around!"

"Hmmm..." muttered Hiro uncertainly.

"Great. Now just hand me your wallet and we'll be on our way!" said the old guy, while stealing Hiro's wallet. He then grabbed Hiro, walked a few feet to stand in the middle of the small town, and waved vaguely at some stuff. "Ok, that is a Pokécenter, that's a Pokémart, that's the ocean, there's route 30, and those are some houses. 'Kay, bye!" The old guy then moved slowly toward the house over there, okay?

"Hey, wait!" Hiro yelled. He stole a Pokémap card from the old guy's pocket and inserted it into his Pokédex.

"What was that for?" asked the inquisitive oldster.

"Just who wants to know!!?!" bellowed Hiro.

Hiro then ran across town to buy some Pokéballs. Then he had to run all the way back because what the old man had said was a Pokémart was actually a Pokécenter, and vice-versa. When he finally got there, he learned some disappointing news.

"Sorry, we are all out of Pokéballs," said the guy behind the counter.

"DAMN IT!!" exclaimed Hiro.

"That'll be 12 yen," the store guy said with an evil grin. He reached into Hiro's right pocket and pulled out 5 yen, 3 balls of lint, a rare candy, and 6 strands of hair. "Is this all you have?"

"Yes!" said Hiro angrily. Then he ran back across town to heal his Pichu. When he got to the Pokécenter, he finally heard a bit of good news.

"Hi, I'll heal your Pokés. For 3 yen, I'll also raise them each up ten levels!" said Nurse Jenny, the cheerful old granny behind the counter.

"Oh boy!" exclaimed Hiro. He reached into his left pocket and pulled out a mini-safe. He opened it, took out 3 yen, and replaced it in his pants.

"Here ya go!" expleted Hiro, forking over the dough.

"Ok, give me your Pokés," said Nurse Jenny.

"I've only got one..." said Hiro sadly, hanging his head in shame.

"Haha, you must suck as a Pokémon trainer!" laughed Nurse Jenny shrilly.

"I know..." said Hiro.




It's done, m'kay?


o_0
jimm

[Tainted]

Needs length. Needs description.
Otherwise: Somewhat humorous.

Keep working on it, its not really howling in laughter humor more like a "Heh, yeaaaaah" humor.

Yeah...

Enjoys reading,
Zak Hunter

[Craig]

"Haha, you must suck as a Pokémon trainer!" laughed Nurse Jenny shrilly.

best. line. ever.


lol this is funny, and its kind of a relief to read someting that attempts to be funny (but it is! ..trust me!) and is short instead of a long ..novel like fic sometimes/

[The Decapitated Mole]

yay people like it! I actually don't find this fic very funny anymore, possibly because all the chapters up to around chapter 20 were originally written over 2 years ago... But oh well. Here's chapter FOUR!


Chapter Four

A few hours later, after waiting because the level up machine broke, Hiro set off semi-happily down Route 30. He won a bunch of battles, but couldn't get through to Violet City because of 2 five-year-olds having a sissy slapping fight in the middle of the road. They were fat, too, so he couldn't move or get around them. So he went to Mr. Pokémon's house to see if Professor Oak was visiting again. To make a short story shorter, he was.

"Hi, Hiro. Can I see your Pokémon?" asked Mr. Pokémon hopefully.

"NO! You'll try to take it and then you'll give it to PROF. TREE!!!" screamed Hiro.

"Hiro, I'll give you a Pokédex for your Pichu," said Prof. Oak calmly.

"Ok. Hold on a sec, though. I think I dropped the Pokéball outsite," said Hiro, exiting the tiny hut in the middle of nowhere for some reason. Hiro found outside a roundish white rock. He took it and stuck half of it in a puddle of reddish brown mud, then brought it inside.

"Here ya go! Said Prof. Oak, handing over the Pokédex with this smug and superior look on his face.

"Here ya go!" said Hiro, handing over the rock with this smug and superior look on his face. Suddenly, he took off running, yelling "SUCKERS!"

"DAMN IT!" bellowed Mr. Pokémon, "but at least you put in hat bomb that will go off when he catches a Pokémon."

"Mr. P, there are two things wrong with your reasoning," the Prof explained, "First of all, Hiro is too stupid to be able to catch a Pokémon. Second, that "Pokédex was just an empty chocolate box painted red."

Hiro, meanwhile, was running up route 30. He bounced over the fat kids, then remembered something and bounced back over. He took Mr. Pokémon's egg and ran away again. He ran and ran until he got to Violet City. Then, right before he went into the Pokémon Center, the egg hatched, and out popped a TOGEPI!! Hiro healed his Pichu at the Center, then went to challenge the gym leader, Hobbes Hobbeson, for a badge. The fight went on for a while, and Hiro would have lost, until his Togepi used Metronome and somehow blew the gym apart, killing Hobbes and all the annoying Jr. Wannabe trainers. So naturally, Hiro stole the badge and everyone's money and skipped town after buying some Pokéballs and naming his Togepi Tog.

After that, Hiro went to the Unown ruins and somehow managed to catch all of the Unowns. Then, in a completely random fight with Raikou [how did he get out of his statue yet, anyway...?] Hiro blew the ruins apart with Tog.

Then he wandered around until he found a cave [he had completely forgotten about the Pokémap card] and went in. He heard some strange noises coming from the other side of some cave water, so he had his Tog do metronome until he did surf. He then surfed out and caught a LAPRAS! Then, in an incredible stroke of genius, Hiro managed to get himself out of the cave in only a week! He found this fat old guy named Kurt, and helped him beat Team Rocket because Kurt said if Hiro didn't halp him, he would sit on him. But when they went down into the huge well where the rockets were, Kurt hurt his back, so Hiro used him to blubber on the rockets, crushing their bones.

"Ha! I knew this extra blubber would come in handy someday!" yelled Kurt as he sat on the last rocket.

"AAAAAAHHHH!! NOOOO--"

KRUNCH!






I know that chapter went very fast. But whatever.


o_0
jimm

[www.pokeusa.com]

umm, i remember you from tan ...

nice fanfic..

[The Decapitated Mole]

And.. um.. i dont remember you from tan. Sorry. What's your name there?
Anywho, Chapter 5 is really short, I think it's the shortest chapter. But here.


Chapter Five

As was said before, Kurt had hurt his back while beating the rockets, so Hiro had to roll him back to his house. The town was full of Slowpokes, now. They were all sniffing at where their tails used to be and yawning, so it was raining.

"My house is right there!" exclaimed Kurt.

"Ok!" said Hiro

"Here, take this magic Pokéball I made!" said Kurt, handing Hiro a glowing ball of hardened radioactive waste.

"Ok!" said Hiro

As Hiro was walking through the town, his feet getting stuck in the odd combination mud/dung from the rain, a guy his age with long red hair get in his way and yelled at him.

"Hey, did you beat the rockets?" asked the guy.

"Yes," answered Hiro dutifully.

"You're a moron! Team Rocket is cool!" he said stupidly.

"Team Rocket sucks!!" yelled Hiro.

"Let's battle, with POKéMON!" exclaimed the dopey redheaded kid.

"You're on!" screamed Hiro, jumping around and splashing mud everywhere.

And so, boys and girls, Hiro was in for the first real battle of his life! Until next time!



Yes, incredibly short, I know. Sorry. But Chapter 6 is great [i think], so whatever.

o_0
jimm

[www.pokeusa.com]

Originally posted by The Decapitated Mole
And.. um.. i dont remember you from tan. Sorry. What's your name there?
Shiny.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ah, the infamous shiny. Yeh, I remember you now...

[Lady Vulpix]

Well, it is better than the previous one and somewhat funny. It's still rather monotonous, though. And everyone in the gym died for no reason except for Hiro? ¬_¬ In any case, wouldn't the police be after him, after that happened?

[The Decapitated Mole]

Of course not! They're too busy with Team Rocket! [somehow...?]
Anywho...

I should warn you. This chapter contains the following:
ICP , VST [Very Stupid Trainers], and DOP [Death Of Pokémon]. Sorry.

[i]
Chapter Six

Hiro was about to get into the battle when he suddenly realized something.

"Hey! What the hell is your name??" inquired Hiro.

"My name's Fred! And you aarree... Hiro the Moron!" screamed Fred.

"Hey! How'd you know my name?" Hiro asked.

"Duh, it's written all over this story! Ghastly, go!" yelled Fred, starting off the battle at last.

"Okay then, time for level 12 skills! Pichu, go!"

"Ha, easy! Ghastly, use some attack!" yelled Fred.

"Pichu, go use your level 12 sills to do stuff!" said Hiro.

Well, as you can probably tell, neither of these fine *cough, cough* young individuals had any battling skills whatsoever. The Pokémon weren't as stupid as their masters, so they soon figured this out, too. Needless to say, they took matters into their own hands.

Fred's Ghastly used Scary Face, but that didn't do any damage, so it didn't matter. Pichu really did use his level 12 skills, he used his new move that he had just learned somehow, Super Zap-O-Rama [don't ask, it's been a while since I played this game]. It killed the Ghastly, so ha ha.

"You suck, Ghastly. I'll kill you later. Now Meganium go!" expelled Fred, grabbing his dead Ghastly.

A big ol' Meganium came out and started throwing a tantrum for no reason. Hiro and Fred ran away, and Pichu got stomped cause of the scary face. When it was under the Meganium's foot, it used its Super Zap-O-Rama again, and they both died.

"You suck!" said Hiro.

"Not as much as you!" angered Fred.

"Kiss my @$$!"

Okay!" said Fred, kissing Hiro's big ol' planet sized arse.

Fred sent out his Zubat next, and Hiro sent out Tog. Doesn't it seem like he keeps using the same Pokés?

Suddenly, Hiro decided to use some intelligence. "Tog, use Metronome!" he shouted at Tog.

"Ok, if he gets to use real attacks, then so do I!" shouted Fred. "ZUBAT, SUPERSONIC!"

Well, as Fred's Zubat didn't know supersonic, it just used tackle instead. But that missed Tog entirely and hit Hiro. Tog's hit was right on target, but it was only splash.

"Ha, if I can kill this dopey kid, nobody will be able to beat Team Rocket!" exclaimed Fred gleefully. "Nice work, Zubat!"

"Fred, you are a ****ing asshold son of a ***** mother****ing ****-for-brains crap headed *** with gay crap hair!" screamed Hiro, finally releasing all of his anger.

"Don't you go makin' fun of my hair, now," warned Fred.

"YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF ****ING ****!!" screamed Hiro.

"That's it, I have HAD it with the hair things! ZUBAT, HIT THAT BASTARD WITH YOUR STRONGEST WING ATTACK!"

"Tog, jump in front of it and use metronome!"

Tog hit Zubat full force with a headbutt at the same time it was about to ram Hiro with its Wing Attack.

"Why the hell am I listening to this kid, anyway?" thought Tog. "Oh, yeah, he's my mommy.

"God that redheaded kid is a retard," thought Zubat. "Doesn't he know that I can't win?"

"Zubat, hit that togepi with another wing attack!"

"Tog, TACKLE!"

Both Pokémon hit at the same time, somehow causing an explosion that blasted Fred through a building and pushed Hiro into a fence.

"Tog?" said Hiro, coughing.

"T-t-togi..." sputtered Tog.

"TOG!"

Hiro rushed Tog to the Pokémon center, where Nurse Jenny and officer Joy were talking.

"Hold up, you little twit! I'm talking to the Police Officer!" said Nurse Jenny, that stupid old granny.

"Hi, Officer Joy!" said Hiro.

"Shut up, you smart-mouther **** head!" said Officer Joy, that stupid young granny.

"I wonder what's gotten into those two..." sighed Hiro.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Wow, I have been very lazy and not get up a new chapter. But anyway, here's Chapter Seven! [you have absolutely NO idea of all the trouble I went through to get this to you]


Chapter Seven

"Team Rocket has run away..." expelled Nurse Jenny.

"Oh really?" questioned the incredibly stupid Officer Joy, as a Team Rocketeer danced with her in the center of the room.

"Hey! Get out of here, y'all!" belched up Nurse Jenny.

"Step off, Jen! He's mine!"

"But that's ROCKET!"

Whilst all this was happening, the Rocketeer ran out the door disguised as Brother Theodore.

"Um... Excuse me, but Brother Theodore just ran by the window," said Hiro, trying to break up the super catfight of doom.

"No, that was just a Team Rocket guy in disguise. No reason to be alarme--"Joy trailed off, trying to figure out what was being wrong with her thought process. "Well, I suppose I should get him, eh?"

"Damn straight."

As Officer Joy was leaving, her head poofed into the Weakest Link lady's. How odd. Anywho, she did the link poof and turned around, pointing her quisinart ray at Nurse Jenny's lower left appendix. "You are the weakestlink, goodbye!"

KABLAM!

Needless to say, Jenny's appendicitis was cured right up. As an unfortunate side-effect, Jenny went flying everywhere. Her head landed at Hiro's feet.

"Hey, kid! Go win the Weakest Link and kill Mrs. Weakest Link over there! Huh? Huh? Huh?" Jenny's head gasped with its dying breath.

"You know, I'd really love to, me being the big fan of intelligence that I am, but I think I may have a better idea," said Hiro helpfully, as he removed Jenny's lower jaw and brain, filling her now empty skull with gunpowder. He then lit one of the hairs, and tossed it over to Officer Joy.

"What do you think you're doing, assaulting a police officer with your evil head-explodey! Why, I could have you arr--"she trailed off, once again overcome with her own stupidity, before the "bomb" exploded, and both hers and Nurse Jenny's heads landed in the middle of the floor.

"TOG, HURRY, USE BIG BANG!" shouted Hiro, completely caught up in the excitement of the moment.

"Tog?"

"Oh, whatever, just use selfdestruct."

Tog selfdestructed, killing himself and severely injuring Hiro and the two heads.

"Somebody, get a female Togepi, quick!" ordered Hiro.

"Why? Tog's dead, fool!" said the random standing-in-the-Pokécenter guy.

"I don't pay you to contradict my orders! Now get to it, lackey!"

"Yes sir, Mr. Hiro-thingy!"

Well, in the midst of all these morons, Kurt's granddaughter managed to find a female Togepi somewhere, so Hiro had it to Mouth-to-Mouth with Tog.

"What's that f--" started the Pokécenter-standy guy, but he was shut up with a menacing glare from Hiro.

Well, it looks like Hiro was right for once, because as soon as Togi, the female, started the MtM, Tog's eyes opened wide and he pulled her closer, closer, closer...

"Awww..." said several people. Hiro, however, was not amused.

"Tog, cut it out! Can't you see she's married?" Hiro bellowed, thrusting his meathooks at the overly jiggly batch of Togepi eggs that Togi brought.

"To-o-o-oooog..." sighed Tog sadly.

*At this time, there is Pokémon dialogue. I don't feel like writing Togepi sounds. I just don't. Sorry.*

"Hey, Pikachu Pokédex, what are they saying?"inquired the ever-lovin' Hiro.

<<"Th-e F-ema-le--said-'w-e ca-n stil-l be fr-iend-s!'>> the Pikadex spat out in a monotonous voice.

"A little more human please, Pikadex," said Hiro impatiently.

<<Sorry, sir. What I said was that the female said they could still be friends>> the 'dex said with a sneer.

"I heard you the first time. Don't get smart with me."

<<'Miyeh myei mih mih meyh'>> Pikadex mimicked.

"Alright, you're going BACK in the backpack!" Hiro exclaimed, as he shoved the Pika into his bag once again.



You likie?


o_0
jimm

[www.pokeusa.com]

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW......

[A Grilled Fish]

I wasted three of my precious minutes reading this wonderful work of art. When I say wasted, I mean wasted like in the Little Prince.

Please forgive me, now I must leave my shell behind on the Earth and travel to the stars.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Congratulations, Mr. Fish. You have me stumped as to your opinion of this story.

Anyway, here's chapter 8. Have fun!



Chapter Eight

After going to the Auxillary Pokémon Center, helping rebuild the regular PC, and stealing a pie from an old lady's windowsill, Hiro was ready to get his second badge! Oh boy!

"I hope the gym explodes like last time, that was so incredbily easy..."Thought Hiro evilly, "You ready, Tog? You ready, Pichu?

"TOGIPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Bellowed Tog squeakily. What he actually meant was "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" But Hiro didn't check his Pikadex.

"Pi Pichu Pi!" Pi'd Pichu loudly. What he really meant was "No, you suck," but once again Hiro was too lazy to check.

"That's my boyz!" Said Hiro affectionately.

"PICHICHUCHP!" Spat Pichu angrily.

"Your pichu says it's not a bo-" The Pikadex started to say as it was crawling out.

"Didn't I shove you in a bag somewhere?" Questioned Hiro.

The discussion was cut short, however, by the appearance of a large Slowpoke standing in front of the gym doors.

"I'll handle this!" Said Hiro, throwing the slowpoke at Fred, who was just beginning to regain conciousness nearby.

"Ill get you, Hiro. Mark my words, before..."Fred began, before falling into a coma as the Slowpoke bit his neck.

"Good ol' slowpoke. I taught it well."

"Eh? Who said that?" slobbered Hiro.

"Tehehehehehehehehehehehe" Said the twins together. Very creepy, no?

"Well, I'd love to stay and, um, watch you two laugh, but I've got me a gym to explode." With that, Hiro kicked the twins out of the door, and threw Tog into the middle of floor, near the Gym Leader, beeping loudly for a few seconds and then deflated the Gym with it's hideous plosion. Then it exploded and destroyed everything in the gym.

"Damnit, now they're all dead. Which means they won't be needing these things anymore!" Hiro said gleefully, taking everyone's money, and stealing the badge from bugsy. He then gathered his Tog and set off for the small pass-through building on the other side of town.

[The Decapitated Mole]

New? Chapter? For? You? People? Now? Ha. Ha. Poopy.

[b]
Chapter Nine


So Hiro walked towards the building. There was really no point to this building, I guess it was just protecting one side of itself from the other. But anyway... he made it to the building, therfore I explain what happened.

He looked around inside the small building. It was made of adobe and half of it had been destroyed in Hiro and Fred's battle. As Hiro walked through to the forest on the other side, he came across a strange old homeless thing on the ground. Well, that's all good and fine, but what did she say?

"Is that you, Bosco Brown? Kleglelefle!" begged the old woman, lowering her crumbling ancient magazine and screaming at him.

"RUN AWAY!!!!!!"

"Meet the one who talks at dawn and sleeps at midnight!" Enchanted the ancient old crumbucket.

"RUN AWAY!!!!!!"

"The Forest Protector made me smart like this! Cackleglee!" she laughed, running into the wall repeatedly.

Suddenly some guys came in. Then they left again. Wow. Anywho, Hiro ate the woman's overactive thyroid to calm her down, then walked through the door. He walked around for a day or two before discovering that there was actually more to the forest than the three foot area in front of the door. So after that, it was only a matter of weeks until he found the small boy standing alone by a rotted old tree stump, looking for his Farfetch'd.

"Do you need help, little boy?" Offered Hiro.

"Yes, please, I've lost my Farfetch'd in the woods, and I'm much to scared to go and find him. I gots'ta find him, I just gots'ta."

"Well, TOO BAD! Anyway, you shouldn't be scared, it's just a forest." Just as Hiro turned to leave, a Spinarak jumped out of a tree right in front of him! "AAAAAAHHH!"

"Wait, don't be scared, that's just my Spinarak" The boy said, trying in vain to calm Hiro down.

"No, IT'S EATING YOUR FARFETCH'D!"

"AAAAAHHHHH" They both tried to run away, but hit the dead old tree head on. "Hey, kid, do you have CUT?" Hiro asked, taking the CUT HM from the kid's pocket.

"Sure, here ya go!" The kid yelped, taking back the HM and then giving it to Hiro.

"Thanks, buddy. TOG, CUT!" He screamed, throwing Tog at the tree.

"Uh, you have to actually use the HM in order to teach cut to your Pokémon."

"I knew that! I was just trying to see if tog knew."Hiro said lamely, kicking tog."You stupid bastard, you should have known that!"

So he taught it to tog, and used the cut, walked through the tree. You know the drill. I'm just tired of typing now.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Wow, this hasn't been updated in a while... Oh well, I'll try a new chapter. M'kay?

Chapter 38

What Hiro couldn't understand mike saying was that The stupid Gym Leader was up in that tower thing. You know, the one Hiro thought enveloped the city? Or something. I forget, I have'nt played this game in a long time.

Hiro: Will you shut up already, I'm in the tower.
Mike: a;lijf;asmfkadjkdkdlssskdldkkkkskdofmmdklskdm
Hiro: Pikadex, can you translate him?
Pikadex: He's only been blocked in your very own mind, stupidhead.
Hiro: Well now, that's not fair, I demand a recount!
Suddenly, a sailor came up to Hiro and was all fat and stuff.
Sailor: Hi! Can I come up to you and be all fat and stuff?
Mike: lahdfjnasdf
Hiro: Well... I can't see Mikeé's logic, but since you seem to be a good pal, I'll allow it.
Sailor: Well now, that being said, I'll have to kill you,
Hiro: Fine, you do just that.
Sialor: Ok then I will.
Hiro: ...
Sailor: ...
Hiro: ...good.
Sailor:...
Sailor:... Ok then.
Hiro: ....
Sialor: ...
Hiro: ...
Sailor: ...
Sialor: I don't have any Pok(mon..
Hiro: *at the same time* I can't remember what a Pokémon is...
Both: Ha ha ha, what a dumbass!

[Ultra_Poke2000]

this is one of those icredibly funny makes-absolutley-no-sense-at-all LOL fics that i can only find realy rarely. anyway: LOLOLOL!!! great fic! culater.

[A Grilled Fish]

I actually find this quite funny.

It reminds me much of the two fics I wrote a couple years ago. 0_o They are extremely similar: "Squirtle's Trainer" and "How to Catch Wild Pokemon". Squirtle's Trainer I wrote first and it is longer and (IMO) not as funny, How to Catch Wild Pokemon I wrote next and it is much more similar to this fic. (It's mainly about cherry pits and cliches)

I might think about the possibility of maybe entering a contest to be eligible for a chance to think about possibly reposting it.

BTW, Ultra Poke, absolutely-no-sense-at-all fics DO exist, I love to write them. But to put things simply, most people hate them. I occasionaly write one, only a few people read it, some reply, and then it dies. Meh. I've given up after three years of trying, so the least I can do is support this wonderfully crazy fic.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

ok, #1: ROTFLMAO X 10!!!
#2: BWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!
#3: LOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOOLOL!
there. im done with that!


neway,this is one of those icredibly funny makes-absolutley-no-sense-at-all LOL fics that i can only find realy rarely but im so glad when i do find it. post more, this is the best fic ever 4 laughs!!! anyway: LOLOLOL!!! great fic! culater.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

lots of ppl do seem to hate them, but i, on the other hand, find them to be diamonds in the mine. i cant wait till the next chapter.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, if there's anything I've learned from my years of writing this story, it's never give up. Because once in a while, you'll get a reader or two, just as I have now. And I haven't given up, for around 2 1/2 years, and it's nice to finally get some readers and recognition for that. [I just won the Oddest Writer Award]
I am working on writing chapter 10 right now, I should have it done within a matter of days. Sorry it wasn't up sooner, but school started and I've been really swamped, what with the depression and all... BUT THE HAPPY'S BACK! It's also taking a while to make it longer, like, for example, I turned the first four or five lines in the story into about half a page in word... So stay tuned for chapter 10.

o_0
jimm

[A Grilled Fish]

...

It's about time.

This story is the only reason I am still here on this board (except reasons besides this story). It is not that I dislike Pokemon, but I have way to busy a life currently (except during times when I do not have a busy life). I still can drop in here at my free period (or any other time I wish), but otherwise I'm doing sound for musicals (kind of), doing homework (kind of), programming (Well, I will be when I get my new computer)...

I encourage you to keep writing (unless it is in the least bit inconvienent). My life may (Note the month is not capitilized to show my humbleness) depend on it.


And "Happy's" was a very creative contraction which I congratulate you on.

Until vacation, goodbye for an extremely long period of time (relative to a cicada's life).

[The Decapitated Mole]

Lol, just a question, fish, how old are you?

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

...And, sorry for the double-post, but I finally finish chapter ten, and here it is.


Chapter Ten

Since you know Hiro walked through the tree, you know what I'm going to say, don't you? Well? I'm trying to speak to you, don't you know? So, I should probably start this chapter now, should I? M'kay.

Hiro walked through the tree. How typical. So anyway, as Hiro was walking through the tree, he spotted a birdhouse that said "HI! Welcome to the shrine of the FOREST PROTECTOR!"

"Neat. Well, I'll see you later then," excreted Hiro in his usual being foolishness.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me, birdhouse. So, who's the forest protector?"

"HAHAHA! I'll tell you later, buddy!" bellowed the man behind the sign, running into the forest and being eaten b the mad Spinarak.

"Hey! I thought there was a birdhouse there a second ago! Who's in charge here?" howling madded Hiro, who was, in fact, howling mad at being decieved.

"What are you, foolish? There never was a birdhouse!" yelled the half-eaten chunk of hidden-sign-man, crawling out of the trees.

"Wait... yes there was! Look back there, I specifically thank the birdhouse for reminding me of... something that was pretty damn unnecessary now that I think of it." Can you figure out who's talking now? I'm tired of thinking up synonyms for describing speaking to make this story not really monotonous.

"CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!" screamed the sign, blowing up and in its place a birdhouse appeared and ate the evil wizard, who was already dead from being eaten by the Spinarak.

"So... will you tell me who the forest protector is now?" inquired Hiro hopefully, cause he just wanted to get the hell out of there.

"Weren't you listening? I already told you I'd tell you later. Now go, I'm busy chewing."

Well, that was a pain in the ***, so Hiro just decided to walk around for a while, eh? But eventually he came to a fork in the road, because, well, it was just there in the middle of the road. So he picked it up and continued down the path until it split into two paths, so he decided to consult Tog; "Hey, tog, you're magic, so tell me which way to go!"

Tog looked at him quizically. "Tog?"

"Welllllll?" screeched Hiro impatiently, for he, the mighty TYRANT, did not like to be kept waiting for the lower classes.

Tog, confused as always at Hiro's erratic behavior, obediently pointed left and piped up TOG!" like the good little fledgeling he was. So Hiro started walking on the right toward the right of the path, because he was on the right, which was already stated. Damn, I'm tired. Anyway, Tog was confused again. "Tog?"

"You! I remember you! SO GET BACK IN YOUR POKéBALL YOU BAD LITTLE FLEDGELING!" Yep! That's Hiro for ya!

"b-but I'm a good little fledgeling!" thought Tog, tears welling up in his eyes as he tried to figure out what he had done to so incur his mother's wrath.

Anywho, Hiro picked up Tog and tried to cram him into a Pokéball, but that didn't work, so he tried throwing Rocks at the Tog, and then at the Pokéball, but nothing was working, so he pressed the POKéBUTTON on the POKéBALL and all problems were solved, ok?

Just then Hiro noticed a kid, which was kind of strange, since the kid had been watching Hiro's misfortune with Tog all along. He had actually pushed the POKéBUTTON for Hiro, because it sickened him to watch a trainer try to return one of his Pokémon for 7 hours without resting. He was now headbutting trees, and yelling intelligently, "YAY! I'M HAVING FUN HEADBUTTING TREES!"

Hiro was crushed. He thought that he was the only one who had fun headbutting trees, but now the fact that he had never headbutted a tree in his life hit him square in the eyes, so he suddenly felt the urge to steal again. Don't ask. I'm still tired. So he stole the HEADBUTT TM! I'm too tired for description of theft now.

Hiro, once again disregarding the simple rules that even the small tiny things playing the POKéMON THE VIDEO GAME knew, threw the TM at Tog and ordered him to "HEADBUTT!" Unfortunately, being hit on the head with a TM did nothing to help the stupid little egg, so Tog resigned himself to sticking his head up his ***. This did nothing to improve Hiro's mood, obviously. I mean, come on, you realize that you're not the king of HEADBUTT anymore, and then your egg thing sticks its head up its ***??!? That is just cruel and unusual punishment. Poor guy. I'm talking about Hiro, by the way.

And speaking of Hiro, he's speaking; "YOU STUPID *****-*** CRAP HEAD! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE TREE! YOU SULLY MY TITLE AS CHAMP OF HBT!"

So tog, in an attempt to please his master, fell over and rolled into the tree, knocking some pinecones onto the headbutting kid and killing him. Isn't this a great story? Good, clean fun for all, yes indeed. Hiro got pissed again, and when Hiro's pissed, he has random memory lapses and severe brain cell loss. "How did you even get out of your Pokéball, anyway? Get back in there!" he called, advancing on Tog and his Pokéball with handfulls of Rocks. Tog clutched his Pokéball and ran through vally and hill until he hit the door of the other little adobe hut on the other side of the forest.

"HA! Stupid Togs can't open doors!"

Hiro finally figured out how to put Tog into his Pokéball... And he did it IN SONG with the help of a magical sparrow named WHITEY! [Oh my god, this has turned into a new Disney sequel! They won't take me alive!]

After helping to destory the rebel headquarters, conveniently located at Walt Disney World, Hiro opened the door of the hut, which had been destroyed in the amazing gnome battle that happened between paragraphs, and smelled a delicious SWEET SCENT from some random big butterfly.

"That smell.... It makes me want to steal.... Makes me want to smell it all the time... I BE DOIN' CRAZY BIDS, FOOL!" Bellowed Hiro, removing the Sweet Scent, throwing it at Tog's Pokéball, and running away.

"You know, there hath jutht been tho muh thievery in thith thtory!" wept the old woman, whose entire personal economy depended on people buying that sweet scent. And now, I must sleep, or I fear that I'll die. Seriously, my eyes are all red. It hurts. Well, goodbye.


**No togs were harmed in the writing of this chapter**

[A Grilled Fish]

Originally posted by The Decapitated Mole
Lol, just a question, fish, how old are you?

o_0
jimm I can't tell you that until I know I can trust you.

I liked the beauty and wonder of the evil Tog. I can't believe how disgustingly malevolent that vicious... thing... is! I feel very moved by this story. By the way, I am currently thirteen years of age. I expect this story will win the Newberry Award in the near future. When I say near I mean rain, which sounds like umbrella. Umbrellas are similar to shovels, which remind me of paper. Beauty comes from paper, and wonder comes from following my logic. Beauty and wonder is the evil Tog! I can't believe how disgustingly malevolent that vicious... thing... is! I feel very moved by this story. By the way, I am currently thirteen years of age. I expect this story will win the Newberry Award in the near future. When I say near I mean rain, which sounds like umbrella. Umbrellas are similar to shovels, which remind me of pa- *SLAP*

[Ultra_Poke2000]

Anywho, Hiro picked up Tog and tried to cram him into a Pokéball, but that didn't work, so he tried throwing Rocks at the Tog, and then at the Pokéball, but nothing was working, so he pressed the POKéBUTTON on the POKéBALL and all problems were solved, ok?

ROTFLMAO!!! that has got to be one of the funniest things ive ever read! lol! hehehe... TOG! *fart* EEEEWWWW! stop farting Tog! *throws rox at Tog, then drinks a soda, and flys away saying "Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggsss!" then falls back to the ground, realizing they were fake wings, and starts playing POKEMON SILVER for the GAME BOY COLOR!!*

[Heavenly Sage HLSOE]

This is a bunch of crap, extreme nonsense. :) But I like this...Its zany, I guess. Not really my style but the lucidity (XD) of this fic is overwhelming. I only read the first two chapters but the detail and stuff like that is ok. ;)

[Ultra_Poke2000]

sure, it makes no sense and some will say its a big pile of crap, but that's a good thing! thats the point of stories like this: to be criticized by most and appreciated by the few who understand these things. :D cant wait 4 updates! cya.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yay, finally is new chapters appearing here! BIG AMERICAN PARTY! American disco dancing! Lots of fun good time for all! Oh no! Police! *duhn duhn DUHNDUHNDUHN!* run! Car full of midgets! Quickly in here! Who is driving? Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be?

*ahem* sorry. I watched too much clerks lately. *which is why it is mentioned in the afforementioned chapter*. buh bye now.




Chapter Eleven


Hiro tried to run out of the house, but he hit the door, so he decided to settle for walking through. Ain't that a hoot? So, on his way out, he was walking [Pooh] and saw a strange looking dog. A dog? Well, we'll just see about THAT, won't we?

"HEY! THAT'S A DOG!!" Hiro hooted, glancing around at the road to see if he was not alone in his groundbreaking discovery of DOG.

"So?" Questioned some foolish GuyOnTheRoad. Ha! What a fool!

"THERE ARE NO REAL ANIMALS IN THE WORLD OF POKéMON, FOOL! ARE YOU FOOLISH? SERIOUSLY, IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD TO TELL! C'MON, TELL ME THAT DOESN'T RESEMBLE A DOG!"

"Wow, you really beat that one to death, didn't ya there Hiro?" that damn kid inquired knowingly, with one of them crazy eyebrow-shifty things. You know what I'm talkin about.

"Don't blame me, it's the writer's fault for being SO DAMN LAZY!!! So what do you have to say to my hahaha, eh?" Added H to the Izzle.

"Well, if it can't be a realistic, then it's a something, not a dog! Let's fight!"

"WHAT? No, I don't work today. Why don't you call Randal? Cause I'm ****in tired! I'm playing hockey at two!"

"Knock it off! Eh or what?"

"Come on, give me a break!" whined Hiro whinily. What a whiny bastard.

"NO! GO MY SUPER-POWERED SUPER THING OF DEATH AND DOOM!" Bellowed RoadMan, throwing a rat into the playing screen.

"A rat-thing? Wow, you must suck poo at being the PoKéMoN Training abilities, hu?" rallied Hiro. What a loser. Only losers rally. Rallying is so out. I mean, really, show some style, man.

"What's wrong with you? Rallying is not a synonym for talking, or even asking. How did you just rally?" rallied[ha-hah!] the stupid Road-Thing.

"What? There's no rallying going on here! The only rallying I've seen is YOUR OWN!" unrallied Hiro.

"LIES! Don't fall for his evil demon-death-doom-filth-imitation-HESITATIO-LIES!" [That's pronounced Hez-ih-tay-shee-oh. A hesitatio lie is a lie where the liar hesitates before lying, therefore giving the lie away. Hiro was not being a hesitatio.] Screamed the now-desperate child, helplessly flailing for help, but sadly getting none. That's why he was so helpless. Duh, "HE is the real rallyer!"

"Alright, just stop, really. I'll fight your stupid rat-thing, just stop. I am through with the rallying of the talk conversation." Thought Hiro in a sudden burst of intelligence.What he said was "Shut up. Oh, by the way, your rat ran away while you were out rallying."

So... Seven hours [and tons of fun] later, we find our quasi-loser-imitatio-hesitatio-hero standing in front of the kid, ready to fight.

"Ha, I'll cream you now with my newly rescued super rat GO RAT AND USE YOU TAIL IN SOME SORT OF WHIPPING FASHION!!!" screamed ratman. So his ratta went and whipped some air with tail ability. Cool. Unfortunately...

"You fool! What, have you been drinking? I didn't send out a Pokémon yet! Fool." Annoyed Hiro. Imagine, this rat-kid having the audacity to come and attack Hiro's air. The nerve of some people.

"Oops"

"Aight, 'emme sample fo' youse, kih'. TOG, USE YOU MECHONOMME!" slurred Hiro incoherrently. [He was in fact the fool, cause he was not in fact slurring, just trying to speak.

Tog jumped out and, since he couldn't understand Hiro's order, just decided to use Cut. So he did. How straightforwardly odd for a straightforward thing. Eh? That's a neat word, eh? Just like them canadians. I want to live in Canada someday... But anywho, Tog cut off the tattas tail, so the kid threw a fit and stole Hiro's money again, after kicking something. For safety's sake, I won't tell you what was kicked, but it was some sort of inanimate object that wasn't actually there, because I'm not telling you of the kick. Understand?

"Ay no... not back to this again."

Just then Hiro ran away for a while. Just like that guy who runs. Except Hiro died after a few feet, and was resurrected then as a Ditto who took the form of Hiro, which was then killed and resurrected as the body of DeadHiroNo1, which came back to life, and Hiro sprung into action and right away saw a dad and little kid-monster. The beast had on a Pikachu Mask and decided to insulting the Hiro was the best course of action to get not life. So he stated[quite truthfully] "Hey, look daddy! A weak little **** for us to kill! If I kill him will you buy me a special snackbox? SNACKBOX?" The only truthful part being about the snackbox, because it existed.

"No, Jr, no snackboxes. Just WATCH YOUR MOUTH! Stupid little kid must die. Stupid little. Why are you here? Hey, you! Weak little ****! Take this kid and I'll give you a special snackbox!" Bellowed the stupid little's father willingly, thrusting both child and snackbox at Hiro. Simultaneously, I might add. But I don't, so mind your business.

"Sorry, but I'd rather kill you in UBER 1337 PKMN FITE!!1111" semi txt-ed Hiro. What a loser again. I wish I had a cellphone.

"Kay! Go fight snubble!"Shouted the kid, regurgitating his snubble, "Snubbly, wear PIKACHU MASK for super power ability, fun?" The snub didn't want mask, so it died in the fight. No more detail now, I've rambled too long already.

After the snubble thing-po died, the little kid had no more mask, so he was all sad and such. Right? "Now look, you've gone and upset my son!" lied the kid's dad liefully. Stupid lieface.

"Ha! Now I rap! I care not for this tot! I made a rhyme, just in time! I killed your snubble, his head pop like bubble! And if you don't move that kid, I'll make him skid!" shouted Hiro dutifully, shoving the PikaKid through a fence. Meanie. The kid went through the fence into an endless field of tall grass and once he had traveled a few feet, froze and was stuck in a hideous glitch of doom. Loser.

Hiro stalked off towards a new house, that said "NOT POKéMON GYM" all over it. Stupid house. It crushes dreams. So Hiro was glaring at it, "This had better be the Pokémon gym, or I'll kill something!"

"This isn't the gym," crackled the Pikachu Pokédex [from this point on known only as Pikadéx] after Hiro had glared at the building for a few hours, causing Hiro to walk back and kill the HiroDittoReincarnationVersionII. Enough.

[A Grilled Fish]

Comments:

And then the Fantastic Four went to the strippers, but they didn't let the invisible woman enter, unless she dances. They are coming... I can't wait for T3H B33KL3! I'm driving in circles again... or not? Oh my goodness, a ribbon. How nice. BANANAS!!!!!! Manda, you are my perfect drug. Tyuramalakhamulodey. OMG just 2 more pageviews to have 200! yay
Please don't shoot me! I have four families to feed!

Ôo

On second thought, just shoot me. Quick.
U r s000000000000000000000000 bl00d th1rsty.

(but it looks good on you)
Really? Would you burn the burry the bodies for me? I love you! Oh, so there's Panrahk's head! I've been looking for it for ages. Wow! You have found a kiwi! Was it under the bed? Maybe, but rumors said he travelled to Texas. Once upon a time there were three rabbits. One was named Foot, one was named Foot Foot, and one was named Foot Foot Foot. The next day, there were six rabbits. Then the next day there were twelve, then twenty-four, and then they all suddenly died because of an STD. And then Mr. Bad Wolf bought a derby car and destroyed the 3rd little pig's house.

Then he ripped apart his arms and legs and eat it.

This is the true story.

Fuzzeh gloves!

[The Decapitated Mole]

hahaha i have now new now new now new now new now new now new chapters!!!

->That's an arrow. ::::Hiro returns!::::


Chapter 40:

***FLASHBACK!***
Both: Ha ha ha, what a dumbass!
***END FLASHBACK!***

Hiro: Wow... that was kool.
Pikadex?: No it wasn't, you hideous fool.
Mike:habrsobr-sac
Hiro: YEA!
pIKADEXl: Nooooooooo
Hiro: YESSSSSSSS!
Mike: hulabalooooooooo!
Hiro: 'Fraid so.
Gym leader: What you talkin' bout, fool?
Hiro:Alright, but I want to bring these guys along.
Leader: Well, it's highly unorthadox, so that means yes?
Pikadex: No.
Leader: All right, then, you are the weakest link, goodbye.
Hiro: NOOO! SHE'S BACK!
They all three of them ran from evil weakestlink ldy. Buh bye now, cause she ran after them.
Dave Mandel: Thanks for watching!

[The Decapitated Mole]

I spent 2 hours last night in a caffeine-induced writing spree, completing this brand-new 5 1/2 page long chapter.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to Red Bull, Cake[the band], and everyone I put on Jimmix Vol. 8


Chapter Twelve

Hiro saw the house. But after all, it wasn't the Pokémon Gym, so why bother seeing it, right? Well, that was precisely in the Hiro's way of thinking, so he decided to just walk past the house. How unfortunately rude. I mean really, that house was being just fine, all there and such, when Hiro had to come along with his killing, stealing, and reincarnations... Up until then, everything had been fine. Thanks a bunch, H.

"Get on with it, already!" Quotes Hiro immediately, how rude to me. One of these days... Anywho, while Hiro was walking right on by that house and by the by just happened to be yelling at me in the process, his attention was most unfortunately caught on a piece of wood sticking out of the ground, and while he was trying to disentangle himself, he caught a glimpse of That Old Guy. Yep, the one and only, BREEDING POKé DUDE! Let's watch!

"Uh..." mumbled Hiro's brain, before catching its second wind and picking up the pace a bit. About time, too. That lazy bastard was costing me ca$h! "That's a guy who's got an egg! I'm thinking of a number from one to Tog, see if you can guess what it is!!!"

"TEH OLD GUY WHAT RAISED MAH TOG!" responded Hiro correctly, and consequentially in the process of that answer, caught the old dude's attention. He then threw it back. Wow.

"Toodling the pip, me young feller, me bucko! Bright and readying for my vittles, I suppose?" Barked EggMan in standard EggMan fashion. To which Hiro was forced to respond. So he did.

"Well, that's just a bit much, I hardly even know you! But while you're at it, have a complimentary TOG, compliments of being complimentary, thank you very much!" rendered Hiro, snapping Tog into action and hurling him into the head of his adversarious Eggdude.

"That surprisingly is the resemblance to an egg that was given to Mr. Pokémon. I don't like that guy, he's a bit of an ***, but he does know his eggs. Do you know your eggs? WELL? DO YOU?!?!?"

"No, foolman, it be the egg that be comin' out of me ***!" Rebuttled Hiro. Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha...

"Right then, this one,"settled the breedman, "has gotten foul. DEAR! I GOTS ME A DIRTY MOUTH HERE! CLEAN IT UP, I CAN'T STAND TO HEAR THEM DRITY WORDS! THEY **** WITH ME HEAD!"

"Hey! You gotts teh badd language in you!" rioted the riotous Hiro. "HYPOCRITICAL SCUM, YOU WILL BE WASHED FROM THE EARTH! PHA! BHAHA! BHAHAHAHAHAHA! ..ha.."

"Be that as it may, you young piece of crap, you've eaten bad contextual words, them's should never be touched, got it?" Lectured Eggy. "NOW THEN, DEAR, GET THE DEMON CLEANSING SOAP, WE'RE GONNA HAVE US A GOOD OLD FASHIONED CURSE CLEANIN'!"

Suddenly a huge hairy figure appeared in the doorway. It couldn't fit through it, so it just kind of appeared there. Just like that thing that appears. Except that this new appearance was just a wicked fat hairy ugly chick, all fat and ugly and hairy and stuff. Yellin', too. All yellin and stuff, pretty scary overall, wouldn't you say? Well, I would anyway. I don't care what you say, because I say that...

...Anywho, That Old Fat Chick is all yellin' and stuff, lookin' pretty raunchy, too. Check it out!

"Sorry love, I could only find the good shower soap!" bellowed the fatass, throwing an almost used up, hairy, stankin' bar o' soap at The Old Guy. Wow, what a biotch. That's also some thing. I forget what I was gonna say. Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..

"Damnit, wife, I ain't bought a new bar of soap in my life, and I sure ain't gonna start now. We shan't foul our Prize Soap with that foulmouthed bastard! Get the Emergency PlunGer!" shouted the once again OLDDUDE, throwing the HorribleSoap back at the huge hairy figure, which un-appeared itself from the door, only to return a short while later with an even filthier, nastyish-type semi-brown, soggy plunger. But that hasn't happened yet, so disregard that last paragraph. NO, WAIT!!! Just disregard everything after the dialogue part, and then, just kinda... do something.

"HEY OLDY!" beefed Hiro squelchily to the Oldy.

"Shut. Up I can't bear to hear any more of your goddamned bad words!" meh.

"Go away, luzzr. You've probably said more swears in the last 12 paragraphs than I have in this whole story! [Chapter 6 excluded]" Hiro provoked angrily. Bring it!

"NONSENSE! It's just you are foolish, is all. ?" what the hell is that question mark there for?

Just then: only to return a short while later with an even filthier, nastyish-type semi-brown, soggy plunger. [the fat apparition is back] Surprised yet? You won't be eventually. Don't you fret.

"JUST THEN!"

The plunger reappeared into Hiro's mouth, and then disappeared back out a short time later, as the Old People just kind of churned it around inside the HiroMouth for a time. But they only did that until they both stopped cursing like sailors and discussing the minutia of pop culture. That's from Clerks the Animated Series, snoogans. So is that.

"Whell now, that you owe us somewhere in the respectability of 1500 YenByTheHour for this delightful cleansing experience, you young rip!" Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..[OldMan said it]

"Uh... Oh yeah! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" gasp "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" gasp "O! I been teh on1e who be robbed! NOCASH!" gasped Hiro, one called, the, before running for a while, dying again, going through the whole reincarnation thing from the last chapter seven times more, and finally making it to Goldenrod. What a surprise.

"SO ANYWHO!"

After getting lost a bunch of times, gambling away his mom, and getting some underground railroad smugglers put away for a good and mighty long time [quite mighty, yes! Anyone who tries to smuggle an underground railroad out of here should be shot! We've only got a few of those ya know!], Hiro finally got to where he wasn't headed: a big ol' tower thing, with some sort of radio thing! There was also the ROCKETTE DUDDE standing around being the suspicious dude, so Hiro decided to investigate.

"Hey, ROCKET! What's goin' on with you here, eh! Wait, that should be a question mark! Let me rephrase myself. Hey, ROCKET! What's goin' on with you here, eh? Much better, I can see." Nonsensicalitied Hiro in the Rocket's direction.

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioultastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"I'll go. But first tell me what you're doing here.!" A HA! That was a typo! [by the way, Hiro is talking here]

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioustastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"Stop you repeating, Rocket! Tell me your business here! I am Unquestionable Hiro!" challenged Unquestionable Hiro.

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioustastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"WHY MUST THIS BE???" Hiro unquestionably responded, him being unquestionable and all.

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioustastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"BAH!" rebelled Hiro, once again unquestionably, before noticing a sign next to this guy! A sign! Guess what this one said!

=This guy is [i]not a robotic tourguide, he is a robotic RocketDude, who is here to make you suspicious and considering. Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..=

"This is a very confusing place. I should have payed attention in school, cause I don't remember anything abou--" Hiro stopped abruptly when he noticed that there was a building behind the SuspiciousRocket, who was still talking about the place to be, and him being suspicioustastic and all. Damn, I am tired of typing the word suspicioustastic. From now on, it will never be repeated.

"HAHAHA, I AM NOW WILL WALK INTO A BUILDING, JUST LIKE THIS YEEHA!!" mumbled Hiro, trampling FakeRockerNumeroUno on his way to walking into the building, which he is now in, by the way. Just so you know. I want to keep you up to date, and all such.

Anywho, Hiro just kinda walked in, and then noticed that there was a guy standing at a desk. So he walked up to him and screamed "I WANT A RADIO!!!"

"Sorry, *** head, the radio giveaway is in the next building. This is a hat store." replied HatMan.

"There's a radio giveaway?" quizicalled Hiro quizically.

"Yeah, it's, um, in the radio station next door. Now leave promptly, lest ye incur not leaving!"

"What the hell is a radio station?!?" rambled Hiro unsuccesfully.

"Please leave. You're scaring away all my Hats." kicked the Hat Dude, saiding Hiro out the door.

"Why I oughta..." started Hiro, before "hey, look! A radio station!"

He walked in and screamed at the guy behind the desk "I WANT A RADIO!"

"Damn, dude, I told you, the radio giveaway is NEXT DOOR!!!" yelled the Hat Guy again.

"Radio...giveaway? I'm sorry, you lost me. What were we talking about again?"

By this time the Radio guy had forehead vein bulgy and eye twitchy. "You were just about to go next door and get youself a radio!" he replied, forcing a smile and pushing Hiro out the door.

"Oh, ok. Thanks!" responded Hiro before looking both ways, entering the building, walking up to the guy behind the desk and screaming "I WANT A RADIO!"

"JESUS CHRIST, DUDE, GO NEXT DOOR!!!"bellowed the hat person, throwing Hiro through the Radio station window, after which he promptly stood up, walked up to the lady behind the desk and screamed "I WANT A RADIO!"

"No. Take this test first. I have to know if you know enough about Pokémon to operate a radio!" retorted the DeskLady.

"What?"

"Just shut up and take the test, loser!" prompted the RadioWoman, thrusting a paper at Hiro. He then scribbled pointlessly for a few hours, wrote an answer for another hour, asked the woman several times to repeat the question, and then carefully read the questions on the paper for a solid 4 hours, during which Team Rocket carried in their S*s*i*i*u*t*s*a*t*cRocket from outside and invaded the entire building like a bad sequel of what happened in the Silph building in the older games.

"HAHA! I FINSIHED WITH JUST ENOUGH TIME TO SPARE! HERE! RADIO PLEASE!" spouted Hiro, throwing the paper at the lady, who ate it and yelled "YOU HAVE DOUBLE F-MINUS, FAILURE FOR YOU!!! NO-RADIO!"

"What? I must have radio! Everyone in my family has had radio! My father and his father and his father... I HAVE DISCRACED MY FAMILY NAME! GIVE ME TEH RADIO!!!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

...After several hours of this, Hiro realized that it was nowhere, shouted "SHUT UP *****!" stole a radio card, inserted it into his PokéGear, turned around, ate some Pie, turned around some more and then RAN INTO A ROCKET!!!

Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..

[mr_pikachu]

Yes, this is exactly what I expected. Your title lied. NO COOKIE FOR YOU! :o

While I'd usually give you about ten pages worth of lessons on how to write, use description, and spell correctly, it's pretty clear from your other, semi-coherent posts that you do understand parts of the English language, and are merely making a spoof. ;) j/k. But I digress.

This actually serves your purpose quite well, which is to act as a joke about the Pokemon world in general. And while it's not all that funny all around, there were some parts which had me snickering. Yes, snickering. That's as good as it'll get. ;) j/k. But I digress again.

Anyway, this is... remarkably silly, and somewhat cute, in its own grotesque, deranged way. But I mean a grotesque, deranged way in a good way, and that's way cool! WAAAY. ...Argh. I must stop digressing!

[/spoofiness]

Well, now that the "spooferific" part of my post is over, I will say that this is better than the last version, which left me wondering what the big deal was after three immensely short chapters. This is definitely an improvement, especially with the non-script format quotes. Keep on working on this, and maybe create a non-spoof fic someday. That'd give the rest of us our daily "HAPPY'S", to quote you from earlier. But enough of my digressing. :wave:

[A Grilled Fish]

If you want to parodize the human condition with strawberries, atonement can be attained through alliteration. If you want to sppof the condition of Pokemon with someone named Hiro, alliteration can be attained through atonement.

The new chapter seems to be a stream of conciousness, running down towards a bay of counter-plaguiarism. The literary style of your nonsensical sentences is wonderful, groundbreaking, and easy to tell it is a parody of bad writing.

I think it is a parody of bad writing.

When can one tell?

Is the glass twenty-five percent vapid or is the ambiguity in the box?

...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ya know what's phunny? It takes me a month or more to get up a new chapter, yet it only takes about 1-2 hours to write. Sorry about teh spellings in this chapptah, but I wrote it under a blacklight, so it was kinda hard to see the screen.



Chapter Thirteen

Well then... After RocketRunny, Hiro started to notice some weird music playing, seemingly out of nowhere. Well, that's a bit odd. I mean, random music doesn't just randomly play, all by itself, and such more! So any... WHO!...

"What?" exclaimed RadioWoman questionably, as to the existence of the Rockettes.

"Yeah! Where's that music? Coming from, even! Eh? Eh? Huh? Eh?" spat Hiro, once again just as questionably. What's with all these questionable people? If I didn't know them, I'd say they were being somewhat odd, but now that you know that I'll have to kill you. Bu that's not important now.

"I wasn't talkin' aboot no muzak!" rambled RW irritably, "I've got a train to catch before I miss it, and now I've learned that there are rockets involved, too? This is just way too much for a simple RadioGiverTesterMadame such as myself."

"NO! NOT YOU AGAIN RADIO! YOU WERE IT FOR THE LAST CHAPTER, THAT'S IT! YOU'VE HAD YOUR TIME TO SHINE, AND NOW IT'S MINE!" cajoled Hiro, once again trying to sneak in his fifteen minutes of fame. Heh, that Hiro. He can be quite a handfull at times, don't you agree?

No.

"MINE, I SAY, MMIINNEE!!!!!"

"Fine then. I'll just leave. But the next time you need a random Pokémon-themed RadioTest, just remember that YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, TOM FOOLERY THE FIRST!!!"

"Well, thanks a bunch. I'll just go, then," muttered Tom disappointedly. It's a shame, too. He was shaping up to be a nice addition to the team. But no matter, he died of BeanPoisoning a few seconds later, though amusingly enough, not from beans.

Suddenly, Professor Oak stuck his head out of the doorway, which was now being blocked by the Rocket that Hiro had started up with. "Uh, people? Can we get back on schedule? These EvilGuys are really beatin' the hell out of me at the moment, so I'd really like some assistance. No hurry, though,. Whenever you're ready."

"Sure thing, Oakman. Sorry 'bout that, but it's not my fault, ya know?" apologeticced Hiro.

"Yeah, them big LuZzRs up there can get quite a bit carried away, if ya know what I mean!" rebuked Oak, ribbing Hiro in the nudges.

"I hear dat. Now let's get this show on the road!"prepared Hiro. "So, where waz that weird music coming from, anyway?"

"GGRUNNNTT!" Grunted the obvious Rocket Grunt, throwing another Rat at the screen and LoudlyGrunting "GGGRRRUUU[GO RATAGAIN!]TT!!"

"Hahaha, more rats makes for more PKMNKILLIN PWNAGE! Go Lapras!" reared Hiro, laughing at his amazing at his amazing RatLuck.

Suddenly, however, a look of realization slowly dawned on the Grunt's face, which was quickly replaced by one of PH33R.

"What's up, grunty?" questioned Hiro concernedly. Why?

"I just remembered that we're not supposed to be here yet!!!" He managed to blabber out without grunting, before he vanished in some Smoke. Then Hiro, DeskMan2, and RadioWoman all heard similar screams from upstair, before the building was flooded with more Smoke and was closed and condemned for polluting the Air. You may come back when the RadioPeople have decided to nicen up a bit. Thank you for your concerns.

"Oh bejezuss. That was annoying. So I guess I'd better listening to this Pokémon summoning song on my NewFoundRadio," bellowed Hiro, thrusting the radio in the face of EveryoneInTheArea. What a showoff. Even Richard McCracken didn't show0OFF [i]that much, and he didn't like corn! But anywho...

"La la, I love the Song that summons Pokémon!" sang Hiro merrily as he listened gleefully to his hard-earned Radio. All of a sudden [AKA suddenly] whole bunches of Pokémon jumped out of their little crevaces and sped toward the radio, each jumping in turn, trying to snatch the DeadlySummoningThing from Hiro's hand. What fun.

"What the hell? Why are all these Pokés chasing after the PokéSummoningSong?"wondered Hiro aloud to himself. Suddenly, he had a revelation; "OH YEAH! The Pokémon Summoning song summons Pokémon! Cool! I WIN!" Hiro decided to throw some Pokéballs at stuff, but got confused when the Pokémon weren't inside them already. So he just beat them savagely over the noggin until they died. Then he threw the Pokéballs again, and when the new Pokés were not in them this time, he was mad. So he gave each one a thorough talking to before sternly smacking them with a Pokéball, and finally catching them by being cool and stuff. Had he known that he had just captured the StrangeMagicDog that he had seen earlier, he would have been excited. But that was almost 3 chapters ago, so he had obviously forgotten about it. However, the lucky bastahd had cought himself a Rat, a FireRat,, a WaterTurt, a Phish, a Boog, and of course his MagicSuperDog

Heumheamn

That was fun. But I think Hiro's yelling again, so let's check in on him.

"Hiro has caught!!! AND MORE, BUNCHES OF POKéMON THEN YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE!!! PIKADEX TELL ME ABOUT TEH POKKS!!!" Hiro was jumping up and down like a madman again, but this time there were pants involved. Swift. But now it's Pikadex's turn.

<<Them = Pokémon, eh?>> PD informed Hiro, making sure to inject plenty of Personality into said voice again.

"SWEET!!" Bellowed Hiro niftily. But then he just shut up right now and walked over to the Gym. What a quick walk. I wonder WhySoQuick? Well, ask him yourself! So he's there, by the way. But now, after he's gone inside and everything, he has found Whitters, the Leader of Gym, to be CRYING! Can you believe that? How incredibly RUDE!! So Hiro's had enough of this, he rockons. What's he sayin'?

"YOU! AIN'T NO CRYIN' BE ALLOWED UNTIL YOU HAVE TEH LOST TO ME! WOMAN, WHAT'S WITH THE TEARS, WOMAN? WHYYYYYYY!!!???!??!!??!??!?!?!??!?" Screeched Hiro, and in the process stuffing one of the annoying wannabes into a Pokéball, which turned her into a Pokémon. Cool!

"Phred!" sobbed Whitters wetly.

"Phred?!? I thought Mr. Jimm killed him and that stupid SkippyHippyProtector dude years ago! I was there!" raged Hiro. He had been Mr. Jimm's top student in Canada, killing at least 3 hippies a day and bringing him a keg at least once a week, until Mr. J was killed in a freak Paper Cut accident years ago, and Japan had taken over Canada to make room for all the Pokémon leagues.*

"No, Fred! You heard wrong, ass head!" sobbed Whitters, nearly drowning herself as tears poured into her open mouth.

"That bastard took my RIGHTFUL POSITION! HEARMENOW, FRED! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DISTRACTION!"

"What?" shouted Fred, a couple miles away.

"Haha, I win!" shouted Hiro.

"What?"

"Haha!"

"What?"

"Haha!"

"What?"

"Oh, forget it!"

"OK!"

"Hey!!" shouted Hiro angrily, but it didn't matter because none of that made any sense anyway. Now back to Whitters. "What did that rat bastard to to strip me of my RightfulJob?" questioned H. again.

"HE STTOLED MAH POKKES!!" screamed Whitters, before falling on the floor in a sobbing fit, convulsing as tears engulfed her body.

"Excellent," said Hiro calmly, his voice becoming dignified and businesslike all of a sudden. "Now I may beat you properlyy. LAPRAS!" he called. But the Lapras did not come, for it was buried in a Pokéball. So he managed to dig it out after about an hour or so, and then set it on Whitters happily, once again businesslike and such. "Hyper Pump."

Whitters stopped crying long enough to point out "Uh, Hiro? No such move exists."

"Well now, I believe it do! HYPERPUMPHYPERPUMPHYPERPPUUMMPP!!!!!" squealed Hiro to Lapras, who couldn't understand what he was talking about. And as it couldn't understand him, it could not do his MagicMove. So it just smacked Whitters against the wall and ran away.

"HA! NOW, WHITTERS, BEHOLD TO ME MY BADGE!!!" Roared Hiro, believing his NewMove to be a huge success. In fact, the smack had killed Whitters, but Hiro didn't have to know that.

"I dunno..." replied some voicemail, as Hiro kicked the Carcass-O-Whitters.

"I said badge!!!" replied Hiro angrily. He needed said badge, and really needed IT.

"Fine, but I DUN NO!" screamed the VoiceMail again. Hiro opened the phone up and found it to be one of them fake phones full of candy, except that this one was full of badges, which he ate anyway. After a few days, it came out again, so he made some tracks OOTG [Out Of The Gym]. But after running several feet he just decided that he was fat, and needed a skateboard for moving ability.

"Man I'm fat. I wish I had a skateboard."

[A Grilled Fish]

Here comes another one. Here it comes again.
/*//<!-
//And once again, bravely defying the normal boundaries of the
//english language, a breakthrough in acidic technology has
//broken through quite palpably. The writing was unmatched to
//Tolstoy's Anna Karenina - there's nothing quite like it. --> */

[The Decapitated Mole]

Welcome to new ChapterForTyonE!!! Have lots of phun but don't eat my pun! Hahahahahaha but anywho I really hope this turns out good. Enjoy!


Chapter 41

That was very weird.
Hiro: Eh? Wired? Who say what wired that was said?
Mike: Noekeuj330dmmdksolwkwnodkno
Hiro: You know what? It's time to get on the ball. We're gonna go get us some BRAND NEW POKéMON BADGE S AND THIS IS TIME FOR GETTING BACK ON TRACK! ARE YA WITH ME MIKE?????!
Mike: N04ikn03
Hiro: [yay]] ARE YA WITH ME PIKADEX?????!?
Pikadex" Shut up you loser.
Hiro: [yay] ARE YA WITH ME UNOWNS???????!
Unowns: Unowsn
Hiro: [yay] ARE YA WITH ME OLD LAPRAS???????
Old lapras: OldLap.
!
Hiro: [yay] ARE YA WITH ME NEW LAPRAS!!!!!!!!!?
New Lapras: NewLap.
Hiro: ARE YA WITH ME TOG?????????!11!?!??
Tog: Hey, check it out! I just learned to talk! I'm ready, sorta.
Hiro: Hey! Let's get some team spriit up in here, tog? This ain't just about you new SPeaking Ability, here, this if for US!
Suddenly Tog begins to cry. Seeing this, Hiro kicks him.
Hiro: KICK!!!
Tog: You suck!
Hiro: Fine.
Tog: You suck!
Hir: Fine. But at least I know when I can talk!
Tog: That cuts me real deep, H.
Hiro: Fine.
Tog: Aight, let's go.
Hiro: I'm not finished rollcall yet. ARE YA WITH ME SUICUNE?????????!@
etc.




that was I think one of the longest chapters I've written. I think that the new Hiro is starting to influence the Old Hiro. Oh well.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

I'm only going to assume that what you've said is good. :p But anywho, CHAPTAH FOUTEN!!!11




Chapter Fourteen

So the thought had entered Hiro's head, but realization was imminent. But it was not exactly a thought, more of a saying. And sayings, as we all know, are meant to be said. Which is exactly how it happened. Or did it...

But anywho, we'd better get BackOnTrack. So as the thought [or saying, as it were] had escaped Hiro's inner confines, he realized that all sense of direction had been lost. How sad. So let's hear some speech!

"CURSES!" bellowed Hiro, "Walking around makes for the MakingExcercise! That doesn't sound like my usual diet of message boards and laziness! Calories shall burn! Hunger will build! Tension levels will rise to an unprecedented high! This must be stopped... At All Costs!"

Sounds like a good plan, right? Well, ok then. I guess you're all smarter than me, so why am I even here?!?! I'm only the narrator, after all. I swear, any more of this and I will halt this to a stop! Now I want no more of this nonsense! You just leave the decision making to us! Now let's check in with Hiro. He should be making a Discovery about now...

"Hey, you! Up in the NarrationBooth! Knock off your DecisionMaking! I'll make the choices around here! If any Discovering gets done, I will decide just when and where! Are we clear on that?" Bojangled Hiro. But little does he know that he can never defeat the ever-popular ME!

"I SAID IS WE KRYSTEL!!!!"

No

"Well, you'd best start to Krystel yourself up, there. It's all the rage now, anyway. And I won't have an UncooporativeNarrator. So... Crystal?" Hiro responded, extending an arm for hand shakey. Quite well, too, I might add. He's got me beat.... for now! responded the narrator, shaking Hiro's OutstrechedPalm. Little does he know that I, SECRETNARRATORNUMERODOS, am about to sneak attack the Position of Narrator. So, uh, don't be too surprised if there is a sudden lack of Narration any time soon. Thanks.

"Hey! Look! I've spotted a sign!' Shouted Hiro eagerly, pointing at the sign. I was right, as usual. Discovery was inevitable. Thumbs u--

"I'd better read this sign aloud, since it's a sign!"

"Who ya talkin' to, Hiro?"

"Shut up Pikadéx! I'm investigating a matter that requires much investigation... SIGN READING!!!"

"Then read it already!" "Hey, wait a sec-- where'd the narration go?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Pikadéx? " Hiro questioned, gesturing to all the narration going on all around them at that very moment, "There's lots of narration going on around us at this very moment!"

"Touché, Narrator." suspicioustasticced the Pikadéx, making eye-shifty as he did so.

"Yeah, so anywho, I'm gonna go ahead and read that sign now." announced Hiro heroically. By the way, just out of curiosity... is his name pronounced 'Hiro' or 'Hiro?' Se, I've been using 'Hiro,' but I'm not entirely sure if that's right. But that's for another day, perhaps. "TAKE IT AWAY, SIGN!"

New, Skateboard Shop, opening tomorrow!

"Wow, that sign was both informative and grammatically incorrect," rambled Pikadéx, as unhelpful and critical as ever. Thanks a bunch.

"Despite your best efforts, Pikadéx, I have bested you once again. A back door has been found... or is it an entrance? We may never know! This is why it's a mystery. But all that aside, I'm gonna go get a skateboard." rambled Hiro, in his best attempt to keep a civil tone because he was feeling ignorance at the sight of Pikadéx. That made no sense whatsoever. I blame the writer.

So Hiro decided to go back to his roots and steal himself another stolen object. This time, however, there was a skateboard involved, just as there were pants last time. So Skateboard was stolen, as already stated this was, just a second earlier. As he was leaving, however, a new twist was added to this horrible semi-plot, because [you'll never guess what happens next!] Hiro turned around and TOOK THE PHONE BOOK! He actually took the phone book. Ain't that just the funniest thing you've ever heard, in all your days? I think it is. So shut up.

"Hee hee ha!" rambled Hiro, "I shall now disembark on a night of TonsOfFun with PrankCalling in the mix! And now I will call my mom, who was so kind as to provide me with this illegally smuggled product with which I am able to make such PhunKalls. Let's do it!" There were sounds of buttons being pressed, while at the same time, the buttons weren't pressed. But then again, they might have been. I haven't gotten much sleep lately. Forgive this chapter.

Phone... DIaL..........pHONE...dIall...RingRingRing!

And that's when the answering machine kicked in.

"Hello. You have reached the house of the InnocentMother of GuiltyStealingHiro. He is making prank calls at this very moment, and now there are police at my door! Why would that be? I'm InnocentMother! Innocent, I tells ya! Innocent!" The answering machine rambled out before two loud gunshots could be made audible, and then a loud beep, indicating that it was time to leave a message. So you'd better get crackin' on that one.

"Mom's dead then, eh?" rambled Hiro.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Well, I guess the economically viable solution would be NewspaperWrap, but that's only good for fish. So they should probably just wrap the body in newspapers, she can't tell the difference anyway. Who's she going to complain to, her son? But anyway, I should probably get to work on becoming NotLost.

Suddenly Tom walked up for another OneLastAppearance. "Hey, by the way, who won that narrator battle? he rambled audaciously.

Me.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

HA HA that was funny and i havn't posted here in a long time cuz i just remembered it but it's still funny HAHAHHA so what now i am not using puncchooayshun or speelign rite cuz its reeeeeleee funnn joo kno HAHA what now o well lets say it was funnneeeeeee and go okay there now isnt that beter im sure it is but you need my crazy reply dont you hHAHHA thr33 last wordz FUNNY THIS IZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111oneoneoneoneoneeleven

[Dragonfree]

I can't believe I didn't bother reading this before. I laughed out loud quite a few times, and slapped my forehead even more often out of the sheer stupidity of it all. There are two kinds of comedies, those with a sense of humour that make you smile and snicker, and those just so crazy they crack you up.

This has been proclaimed a quality comedy fic by Dragonfree

[The Decapitated Mole]

lol, thanks, the crazy humor is what I like best. And I'm glad that this is quality, wh00t!

UltraPoké-- I was wondering where you'd gone. lol but I'm glad you're back and still liking Hiro. [and yes, I do need your crazy post :p]

And now... I give you... In his first appearance in the New Hiro... Chapter 15 [with Mike!]!!!!!


Chapter Fifteen


Well after that hideous terrible chapter of Narration and Old Guest Appearances, it was decided that, as was typical for a story of this magnitude, walking should be commenced immediately. Once again, He or I shall add musically.

"..." UnSpoke Hiro, walking completely along before noticing a mysterious absence of a certain detail. One that was absent, even! "Well, it seems you've screwed me again, Narrator! Or should I say... FRED!"

What?

"Oh, don't be so surprised. I knew it was you from the moment I layed eyes on everything that happened." rattled off the strange HiroThing? "You should be ashamed! You see? There are question marks where belongs a period, or at very least a comma! There is no place in the grand old art of Narration for incompetence like has been displayed here today!"

No. Now, back to the Forgotten bit of Narration...

"I SHALL TOLERATE THIS NO LONGER!" bellowed The.

Oh yes you shall.

"YES I SHALL!" once again, the bellowed before finally noticing the House. He actually didn't notice it before, as you might have imagined. So on to the House+Door=.

"Hey, I wonder who resides in this strange bit of shelter..." Hiro, "NOC NOKK!"

A door opened, and out popped a HouseDweller! What a surprise!

"Now you've done it, moron! So stop yelling or what?" she spoke, with as much authority as she could muster in her current position. "You'll wake my fatass husband! Now!"

"But..."

"No!"

"I said But!"

"All right, but make it quick. I have Check to do!"

"Well, I just wanted to perchance you to notice the position of Hiro and relay the message back to base camp." signalled Hiro. What a bagel-eater.

"YOU FOOL! You're in Glodenrad!" incorrected the Woman correctly.

"See? It is Fred!"

"Stop lying, Hiro!" that Fatass Old Husband yelled from the SleepingChair, before falling into a deep slumber from which he may never awaken.

"Anywho, I'll check you Pokémon! As was stated in an earlier time Period," she once again relayed.

"Hey, what = you talking 'bout, Willemina?" Colemanned Hiro repeatedly, dazed and confused as he was, until the HousePokémonCheckWoman grabbed a bunch of Balls of Poke from his Ball Carrying Thing and rubbed them for a few seconds.

"HA! Just as I suspected! All your Pokémon think you're a Retard!" Ousted the Checker again.

"You scare me!" frightened the frightful Hiro before running off and suddenly stumbling upon some Tracks of Rail.

"Haha, walkin' on the tracks!" sang Hiro happily before being hit by a train, which was then Instantly Replayed several times before being reversed until the Driver was set to ~=[i]PauSe=~ and began to yell at HappyHiro.

"Hey kid get off the tracks! You moron!" Gramatically Incorrected the Driver again, but this time it was the first!

"Wait... you're wrong!" Recoiled Hiro, remembering something to NonExist back to the driver again. "I just ran over to the Station to check, and they have official forms sent in in triplicate stating the disability of all trains until such time as it is said to be fit!"

Once again he's bested the best of 'em with his stuph that was not described to you, the Reader, or at all!

"Oh yeah! Bye!" Driver-san called out sheepishly, before herding his train back to the stable.

"This place sucks. I'm going to go check out that building with a neverending strange fence around it." Rebuked Hiro, heading for the strange Route-House that protected Goldenrod from the horrors of OutsideWorld. Suddenly, he noticed a CounterGuy, who was sitting behind a counter! Imagine that!

"Hey guy!" shouted CounterMan.

"Don't call me guy," Hiro quite bluntly stated, as blunt as ever.

"All right then, how about this;" Counter started, "Hi guy! I want you! ...To take this stupid + ugly = Bird to some random guy on route 29, so I can have a good laugh at him! Sound fair?"

"Hell no! That'd be cruel and unusual punishment!" Hiro immediately snapped back.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...For me. You're going to have to give Bird to Man yourself!"

"Well then," once again began to say CounterPerson, "I'll just follow you around until we get there! Once again it is sounding fair! So by the way, my name happens to be Mike, and I believe that you are a guy that has a nice arse!"

"Uh... not that that's not the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me or nothing, but I'm really are freaked out by all the Queer Eyes and Straight Guys, so I'm just gonna MOVE IT OUT, MEN!" Freaked out Straight Eye Hiro.

"Hey, wait for me! I happened, once again, to have an ekans!" Popped out Mike, panting with the effort of keeping up with the Ever-Active Hiro,"It also perchanced to happen that it consumed beer as a result of my feeding it the!"

"Yeahhhh... aanywho..." started Hiro.

"And once again thanks to perchance[BLAH BLAH]and it just so once again also happened[yap yap]Mother of Mike is saying something to the effect of[DrIbBlE dRiBbLe DrIbBlE]the!" rambled Mike, even worse in happening than Pikadéx or plus Hiro combined to the max! "Isn't that cool?[bla]"

"Yeahh... Once again, I really don't care. So I'll just head off to... ee... uh... eekroo... um, THE NEXT CITY!!!" struggled the mispronunciated Hiro sadly. How sad.

"Hey, it's just so happened by another perchance of fate that I've started a journey there as well! So about those happenings of the[blah BLAH bLardy Bllawwzzz...]..." detected Mike.

"It really is going to be an incredibly long RestOfStory," thought the Hiro, or was that a thought?

"Oh, thanks a bunch. Jackass." rebuttled Mike for the next-to-last time.

"Wait, I thought I just thunk!" Questioned Hiro.

"Well, I heard you!"

"But... but the italics are there and everything!" Straw-grasped Hiro.

"You know, sometimes that's just there for emphasis, dumbass." angered Mike.

"I emphasized my whole sentence?" Hiro returned, finally making the comeback they so needed.

"Well... you know what? FORGET YOU!" shouted Mike, before storming off, leaving an icy silence behind, which was broken only by Hiro.

"If you're going to be like that, then I'm glad you heard it! In fact, I'll say it again! LONG RESTOFSTORY BECAUSE OF MIKE! There! I said it!"

All right, I'm just gonna end this, cause it's getting old. Fast. Goodbye for now, folks!

"NO!"

[mr_pikachu]

XD Okay, that had to have been the hardest laughter I've had all year. Even though this story has next to no plot, ridiculous characters, hideous punctuation, grammar, spelling, and the like, it's still FUNNY! You have a real knack for writing in this style, TDM. :yes:

n0\/\/ ^^R_p1x/\<|-|\/ ^^|_|S+ ^^0\/3 0|\|. <0|\|+1|\|\/3 \/\/R1+1|\|@ |-|1R0, /\|\||> 1 \/\/1|_|_ |<33p R3/\|>1|\|@!

There! Was that cryptic enough for you, or do I need to learn German?

[Ultra_Poke2000]

Yay! it's been so long and now it is still funnier than ever!!!! and also Mike too!!! anyway, you still have the powers of tordednesz (writing retarded stuff for the amusement of others) and i'm glad you do. another great chapter. I'll cya later then. :nut: bye.

[The Decapitated Mole]

wh00t! I'm glad you're both enjoying teh fic! I finished this chapter up last night, and I'm glad. There was something else I wanted to say here, but I no longer remember what it is. Oh well. Enjoy!


Chapter Sixteen

So Hiro and Mike were confronted with a choice. They could either a) continue walking, or b) ignore the decision making process entirely and go on adventuring. Either way, continuation was imminent. So they just kept walking. ... And walking and walking, and walking...

"Yap yap," rabble-roused Mike eagerly, "with a dash of Blaw Blaw and HEEHEEHEE!"

"Uh, Mike?" began Hiro startily. "Is it possible for you to have, like, maybe an off-switch? Or something to that extent, at least. It would probably come in real handy right about now. So whaddaya say, pal? Off?"

"Blaw BLA? GiKKLe yee Dribbley!" responded Mike. A very well-suited answer for such an odd request, don't you agree? Well, I do, at any rate.

"Oh, well isn't that swell?"

"No," replied Pikadéx angrily. Quite rightfully so, as it has not been featured at length for quite some time.

"Hey, HEY! Asking YOU is out of the question!" remarked Hiro, suddenly noticing how nice the weather had been throughout the day and commenting that it was just so nice. "Hasn't this been lovely weather we've been having?"

"Oh yes, quite."

"Rather dreary, I must say."

"A bit dull, yes."

"Now I should rather like to finish my previous thought."

"Oh, by all means, be my guest."

"Oh great! Now I've tuned out Mike's jabber completely and am incapable of comprehending even the slightest bit of his mediocre advice!" whined Hiro sadly to no one in particular, which Mike picked up on right away.

"Who[BlawyAp]talking[goO!]o?" slightly rambled Hiro. ...'s good buddy Mike, that is!

"I just gots'ta find them earplugs! I just gots'ta!!!!!!" stammered Hiro, dropping to his knees with the force of the latest verbal assault in the realm of Mike'sWords.

"Oh no you gotstn't." shot back Pikadéx quite angrily.

"Oh, come on! Will you ever stop being the ever-adversarious adversary? EVER?!?!?"Hiro wondered aloud, before wondering how in the world he had wondered aloud without wondering not aloud first? Or was it? "!" "?" "!"

"Yes! But not until later chapters, so be sure to just STAY TUNED, HEARTY CRUNCH!"

"I don't even know you any more, man. You've changed... ForTheWorse!" sobbed Hiro, who was immensely saddened by the loss of his Once-Great Ever-Adversary Good-Buddy Pikadéx.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad," cajoled Pikadéx innocently. Hiro, however, continued to pout and look away angrily. "Hmm, you really do feel abandoned, don't you? Well, that shall soon be remedied, won't it? Besides, haven't you just gotten a BrandNew TravelingBuddy?" He continued to be unresponsive. "You want me to stop phrasing things as questions?" Pikadéx questioned concernedly. Hiro nodded, holding back tears. "Yeah. I'll stop talking in questions," it screamed before leaping back into Hiro's Sack.

"Ok, are we done? I really hope we are done here, cause there's been, like, a building here for QuiteAWhile [that doesn't work as well as I had hoped it would. :( ] and I've been hoping that we could go inside of it," rambled Hiro after that surprisingly serious and coherrant last paragraph. "Also... Mike's just kinda been standing there twiddling, and we all know that twiddling is frowned upon here in PokéVille. He could probably use some kind of activity to keep the occupied."



Pikadex: I aggreet.

Hrio: Ok thanks pikadcez, your cool.



"So Mike, where do you suppose this building goes, eh?" asked Hiro, with slightly lowered expectations for an answer, I must say. However, it was asked. At least we can tell that much.

"Angnanang... bLee!" responded Mike, in what is probably the most intelligent thing ever spoken in Life, The Universe, And Everything.

"Why do I even bother, huh? Huh? Huh?" bothered Hiro again, for once not heeding his own advice. What a fool.

"I really don't know. You should probably take that one up with the head office. At least, that's what I'd do." <<Mike

"You know, I think I will! Thanks, Mike!" graciassed Hiro thankfully, before indeed heading up to the head office and Taking It Up. The whole thing was taken care of in a matter of minutes, as it was discovered that Hiro was fired. Now, let's resume with Hiro's New Actor, Mr. Menderman! "Wait a minute!" screamed OldHiro, rushing back with a great realization, "MIKE! Did you just say something intelligable?"

"WaUWAY 2tha Cheezze!!1!@#shift+4"

"-_-'" said Hiro, making a face that slightly resembled what he's spoken [for those of you who are NOT fluent in the BasicMethods-of-Communication, what was spoken was something like 'Dash-Underscore-Dash-Apostrophe.' Thanks for listening]. He then left and let Menderman take over for good. Unfortunately, Senor Méndérman caught the Superflu again and died. So Hiro's Back!

...And now they're walking again. I'll bet that surprised you, huh? Only this time there's a slight complication; THIS TIME THEY WALKED THROUGH A BUILDING + DOOR! And there's also a guard inside of it. Can you believe that this chapter is only half over? I'm already getting sick of typing it. So anywho...

"FREEZE, YO!" wangsta'd the guard, before noticing Mike [with a 'Blaw!' tossed in for flavor] and leaping under a certain amount of Desks that were randomly piled on either side of the interior of the house. "OH DEAR GOD, NO!"

"Gobbledegook!" babbled Mike.

"What the ph..." began TehHiro, before shrugging resignedly and stating quite plainly "Oh well, s'cool. LESGO, MIKE!"

"Aroof!" barked Michael.

They walked around inside the building for a while before smashing through a door on the other side and emerging into PARK PLACE™. Cool, right? WRONG! They glanced around casually for a few hours before noticing a Guy who was [i]not cowering in terror at the sight and sound of Mike, and approached him vigorously.

"Hey bud! How'dya liketa jointha Bug Catching Game, right here in our very own Park Place™?" Asked Him, finally getting their attention and catching some interest.

"Aight, swift. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the game has either a) just started, b) will be starting soon, or c) eaten pancakes at some time in its life. Select the answer which best fits the response: a) no, b) no, or c) Well, now that you mention it..." tested Hiro.

"A and C." replied the ContestGuy.

"Sorry, failure is yours now."

"Ok. Oh, and by the way, the contest doesn't start until Newsday, but I can lock you up in the Bug Catcher Hotel until it r bgning, and stop Mike from brutally terrorizing the brutals of this brutal world again." locked the guy calmly, shouting Hiro and Mike into one of them nifty little Hotel Rooms.

This time Hiro really did say it. "What the phiznuck?"

"BLAW!!"

Wow, I guess I really wasn’t halfway through it after all. Go figure.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

yes! it's the return of "LESGO!!!" & "AROOF!!!" i love that thing. it was so funny the first time you put it in there i laughed for the rest of the page. this is great. just keep it coming, mole. do you mind if i call you mole? anyway, how do you pronounce "Hiro"? is it the same as "hero" you do you say it like "high-row" or something? cya later, i guess. 'till then i'll just keep rollin' :round:

[The Decapitated Mole]

Lol yeh, I'm not exactly sure where that aroof joke came from, but I did like it. And the way I pronounce Hiro is like "High-row," although some may disagree.

And sure, call me mole if ya like!

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 17 is the longest chapter I've written. It took me 3 hours, and I spent the first 2 hours turning the first line of the original chapter into 2 pages of nonsense. Phoo... I had to add in some nonsense to get back on track! So anywho, I give to you Chapter Seventeen.



Chapter Seventeen

Well, as a continuation of last week's chapter, Hiro and Mike have been trapped in the said Hotel Room for quite some time, as new work has not been submitted since the Great Deafening of 1892. On this date, however, more unusual things were afoot, and as Hiro stepped around them, he felt the urge to shout out a few syllables. And so this is Hiro. He says things.

"LET US OUT YOU PIECE OF ****! THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!"

"It was fun before?" questioned the Pikadéx amiably, trying to pass the time by trying desperately to pass the time.

"Well, no, not really, but you get the point," was all Hiro could muster up.

"What does that even mean? Don't TELL me what I get, or I'll tell you... the saying... of... A LIFETIME!" TP'ed Pikadéx

"Waaait..." Noticed H-ro quietly, for fear of being discovered, "that was an oddly foolish and uninformed thing to say. You're supposed to be the smart one here, and that's it."

Suddenly Tom walked back again. Man, he's uninvited. And unwelcome!

"Have any of you noticed that this story is becoming increasingly dialogue-based and is abandoning the clever narration and description that have gotten it so highly praised and well-liked?" And that was all he wrote, for this was the time that Hiro chose to strike, ripping into his flesh with his gun, savoring the feel of his enemy against the blade... I mean, bullet... And actually, not so much savoring the feel as not noticing it at all, since the feeling of shooting someone is virtually nonexistent in this fast-paced modern world of ours.

"Man, am I glad he's gone!" remarked Hiro, glad to finally be rid of that narration-loving fool. "That ***** was getting annoying!"

"You said it!" said Pikadéx.

"Jibbajabba 2x3four!" yelled Mike.

"What you say?" said Hiro.

"Haha, learn real English!" said Pikadéx.

"No way fatty!" said Hiro.

"Whakekndlenj002!???@#" rambled Mike.

"Cool!" Says Hiro.

"What?" Said Pikadéx.

Suddenly, Tom's corpse arose for one final face-rubbing. "SEE?!? I was right! Too many!"

"Hey, he's right!" SuddenAgreed Pikadéx, moving slowly towards Hiro in a menacing fashion. "Did you see all that speaking back there! We just stood and talked! We didn't even move anything but our faces! Just like I'm... doing... now..." the 'dex's outrage was quickly turned to something that's not entirely unlike fear, but still somewhat far away from it, in a close kind of way.

"I AGREE" Mike managed to struggle out of his mouth, before being sucked back in and overtaken by the words announced previously on in the sentence [marked by quotation marks].

And just like that the tables had turned. Barely minutes ago, Hiro had been on top, experiencing the fun with his newfound dialogue abilities. But now that Tom was in control, anything was fair game, and so, in the blink of an eye, Hiro was left to fend for himself against the onslaught of only semi-verbal attacks.

"BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!" announced Hiro, struggling to grab hold of their attention once more with some attention grabbing slogans, including but not limited to "There's more to come, You're being mislead by a hideous fool you hideous fools," and the ever-popular "Don't listen to Tom, he's just messing with all y'alls head! I'm the real GuyYouShouldBeListeningTo here!"

So to make a long, rambling, and seemingly endless story a sentence longer, Everyone present in the Hotel Room ate Tom's hands off, before stuffing him down a sewage main and subsequently into the furnace.

"Well, I sure am glad that's over!" spoke Hiro.

"Yes, but we'll have to be sure to keep lots of description in our speech from now on!" warned Pikadéx cautiously, making nervouse eye-shifty and making sure all the lines of communication were sound and UnTapped. "Otherwise, he may come back! And who knows what he'll think of to trick Mike and I into attacking you again!"

"Then I shall find this Who!" Hiro nobly stated, making heroic poses, "And the circle shall be complete!"


[[[--~Welcome To Page 33 Of HADVANCE.DOC, AKA Hiro2~--]]]

"Blaw BLawdY blarrrrr..." was what Mike would have said if he hadn't been busy saying it to Hiro. Isn't that cute? Why no, it's not, but that's ok.

"Mike, you cannot be understood any further!" Hiro kindly informed Mike, trying to prevent further catastrophes like this, "Which reminds me... HEY! ANYONE OUTSIDE OF THE ROOM! WHY HAVE YOU LOCKED ME UP WITH THIS CRAZY NUTHOUSE BAND OF RAGTAG MISFITS?!?!?!?!?! HUH? HUH? EH? HUH? WHAT? HUH? EH? YES? NO?"

Well, just as luck would have it [which she would, she's very good at that] there was an old Man listening to every happening from the other side of the door. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but just listen to what he has to say. I think you'll find it interesting.

"I'll tell you, but first it's for a fistful of yen, equal in worth to that of about 5000 of them [them being yen, of course]," oldMan RSVP'ed.



"Well, I guess it's ok, but only under the condition that [i]I pay you" Hiro haggled, and to the oldMan's delight it came out clean. So this Man opened the door of it [The Room] and was quick with his haste to let Hiro out of it [The Room] without in the process letting Mike, Pikadéx, or TomRemains out of it [The Room] as a result of the process which was completed with Hiro's exit from it [The Room].


AnD nOw CoMeS tHe FlAsHbAcK...



So once upon a day there was a league of stuff, right? It was originally a League of extraordinary gentlemen, but that folded and it suddenly became a Pokémon filled wonderland[dubbed the Tofu League], filled with Pokémon, wonder, and land everywhere you looked. Unfortunately, the place started to suck after all the wonder and land left, and everything was covered in Pokémon, so Mike took it upon himself to take responsibility for his dream of becoming a Pokémon T-Mildew [which is the Tofu term for trainer-type-guy-who-is-training-pokés], so he took off and departed to the magical Wonderland of Johto [which was where all of Tofu's wonder and land had gone off to, as it turned out]. So he went to meet up with good old Professor Tree--

[i]
AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Hey! I know him!" remarked Hiro remarkably.

"Good. Now be your quiet," was all oldMan wanted, really.


AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

--. He even set up an appointment all official like. Cool, right? Wrong! Ha! See, it's wrong cause once Mike met with Prof T, he was banned from ever getting his license or becoming a trainer. But that was his only because of his crazy mad DarkPower. Otherwise, you were right on the nose.


AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Oh, really? Dark Power, eh?" mentioned Hiro questionably at this questionable material.


AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Oh, yes. He had a real neat crazy dark power with the ability to do...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...


AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"You know, I've been waiting here for FIVE HOURS now, and I still haven't heard of any such talking bear! So what's really wrong with Pikadéx?" angered Hiro at the ever-stalling oldM.

"But it's not Pikadéx, and--whatever. Just be patient. I'm doing my best of jobs here to make up something extra special for you!


AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...The Power to... Speak at great length on any subject, which will indirectly cause any average joe's ears to be Bored Off!!!!!


AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"gasped Hi--"wait, I wasn't finished yet. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! You may proceed," gasped Hiro.


AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Yes, It's true, it's all so sad, yet also all so true. He did a whole bunch of terrorizing and havoc-wreaking all about the globe for somewhere in the net worth of approx. 2 yrs. It's vaguely surprising that you should only hear of this thing now, as it was done for quite so long.



AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Yeah, well, I was really busy watching important things like the Cartoon Network and Nick at Nite!" Hiro excused himself, with even more pitiful excuses than were necessary. Thanks bunches.


AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Neat. So anyway, the World happened to be very fortunate, because as luck would have it [and again, she's become quite good at that over the years] some guy invented the NEW! Radio Headphone Hat™, and the sounds that were created in the process of manufacturing such a confection proved to be just what We needed to destroy the Powers of He [We being us, Powers being special abilities, and He being him]. And once the task of PowerDefeation was complete, all that was necessary was the only unnecessary step contained in the process. So after all that, we decided to lock Mike and his powers away forever in the--


AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Oh! OOOOOHHHHH!!! I've got this one under my hat! It's the Dead Zonealso™, isn't it? Isn't it...?"Hiro shouted, while making menacing fist-shakey during the last sentence to emphasize anger and feeling from within the confines of sentence structure.


AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Uh, actually it's th--


AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

Suddenly Pikadéx, who [as luck had, again] had been listening through the door [what a coincidence] this whole time, poked out his Head to yell, "Jesus Christ, ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN FLASHBACK ALREADY! YOU'RE PISSING THE HELL OUT OF ME!!" And that was the end of that.

"Yeahhhh..... So anywho," continued oMan, "We actually put him in--"

"OOH! ME! ME! ME! It's the Dead Zone™, isn't it? ? ? ? ?" Hiro repeated, seemingly forgetting about the previous occasion on which it had been stated.

"NO! It was that stupid annoying Route-House Pass-Through building thing!" Temper-Lost Teh oldMan.

Suddenly, the severity of what the old thing had said to him started to sink in, and Hiro yelled "QUE????? YOU mean that I'M gonna be stuck with a PSYCHO TALKING GUY that talks all the time and won't stop no matter how much WE beg and plead, until HE mouths OUR ears Off???!?!?!!??!?!?!"

"Hang on there, GBH [GoodBuddyHiro]! Hope ain't lost Just yet!!! It's still got it's way!"

"Explain yourself, Flashback Vendor," instructed Hiro, observing the Man with a wary eye.

"Aunt Jemima! Ol' Jemimes still has a NEW! Radio Headphone Hat™ Factory® hidden somewhere to the south!" Tutored FlashBackMan "South is the opposite of the direction in which her home resides, which is North! Let's do it! Find Jemima, and her Factory®, before Mike is Able to Destroy the World as We know It! Again!"

[Ultra_Poke2000]

ah, so we get an explanation of the history of Mike, and now Hiro is off on an epic quest to get the NEW! Radio Headphone Hat™ Factory® and stop mike once and for all!!! (Mr. Burns from Simpsons style): exelent. anyway, the randomy goodness of your writing is still there. exelent, again! anyway, cya later,then.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take a little break from this story now. Not the NEW Hiro, just this one, since in the last chapter Hiro said he's gonna get BackOnTrack, and, well, that's just it. I haven't played this game in more than 3 years, and I'm a bit foggy on what's supposed to happen yet. So far, I've tried to stay true to the game, and I'll continue to. I'm just posting to say that there won't be a new chapter here until I've beaten Johto in Pokémon Gold again. But don't worry, I'm planning to redo chapter 18 for NewHiro sometime soon. So stay tuned to that topic, it's better anyways.

Toodles!

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 18, folks!





DISCLAIMER:
Some people may find this chapter offensive. I do not mean this chapter to be offensive towards homosexuals in any way shape or form. It just kind of took on a kind of "sexist" tone while I was writing it, and.. well.. I apologize if you are seriously offended by this chapter. Thank you.


Chapter Eighteen

"Old Fag, it would be considered most kind of you if I could perhaps get out of your way, or better yet you and mine!" asked Hiro, who was secretly wishing he had just as suddenly not spoken at all.

"WHAT?!?! Have Jemima and her Factory® been founded already???" Exclaimed the Old Fag in sudden delight, as the Factory® had been assumed to be found. "?!"

"Uh, I think that's found, not founded," corrected the correction-lovin' Pikadéx.

"What?"

"Back there, you asked if Jemima and co. had been founded Already," he[/she/it] continued on with his[/her/its] business as per usual.

The OldFag was quite put off by this, but managed to come back with "Well, that's cool and all, but it doesn't really pertain to this story now, does it?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean, I know you love to correct people and all, but your corrections are really just irritating, and I know that you're trying to put a positive spin on them and everything, but it's really just not working out the way you'd hoped." LongSpeech'ed the AncientCigarette.

"Oh, really?"

"Well, yeah, I mean..."

"And just how had I hoped that it would work out, eh?"

"Well, why don't you just tell me?" snorted the actually very incompetant [and poorly spelled incompetency at that!] Old, "You, of all people, should know this sort of thing."

"I'm not going to fall for your tricks, old Man. So you can just forget it. Or SHOVE IT! Either way, it's fine." Haha, I winned the Pikadéx, making the cool 'haha, I win' hand/fist shakey movement with his clawhand [Oh, just so you know, the Pikadéx has clawhooks for hands. Thought you might like to know that. Sorry for the inconvenience].

"What?"

"Don't try and fool me more. You suck. I'm the smart/correction/semitrickster/sarcastic thing in this traveling Comedy Troupe, and if you want to dispute that, we can just take it outside, Grandpa Cancer," The Pikad almost finished. And here it comes... "I've got hooks for hands. I'll ****ing end you. HaHA! I feel like Robin Williams" Whee! He makes menacing gesture.

"Yeah, well, in any case, where's my money?" Greeded the Elderly.

Suddenly, Hiro realized that the old Guy had been talking to him earlier, and promptly forgot everything that had happened on the last page while at the same time making a response, which just happened to correspond to what was originally directed at him, but had through some strange twist of fate been switched to Pikadéx at the last second. So here it is... Hiro's Response! "What?! Find some old Lady? But... but she'd be OLD! I mean, the syrup alone is Old, but Jemima, she's got to be, like, OLDER! And anyways, factories are so outdated now that we can just shoot missiles at the Cuban Missile Crisis, which is pretty Ironic considering the Irony contained in that previous statement, which, by curious circumstance, contains no Irony whatsoever. Just think about that for a second. Your face will cave in and your brain will die."

"Just die? Come on, H, you can do better than that, I know you can. I mean, just BrainDeath? It's so... anticlimactic. I mean, the face cave in makes you think it's going to be something cool, like with special effects and all. But now you've just screwed me over again. Way to go. *****."

"Wait..." paused Hiro for a second, "was that the old guy talking, or Pikadéx? I mean, you can just assume that it was the old Guy, because, well, he was the one I was talking to. But at the same time..." he paused again, his eyes moving from around the room from person to person before finally coming to rest on the Pikadéx, who was busy scratching some mechanical itch with his ClawHook, but wasn't doing anything but scratching the paint, "it was done in Pikadéx's classic irritatingly neurotic style. So who could it be? I've gone over it all in my head, and none of it still makes any sense!"

"Wow, Hiro, that was an incredibly sensical thing for you to say. And quite informed, too. I'm afraid that I... well, I have nothing to criticize there. I shall go," spake a saddened Pikadéx, moving for the door.

"Eh? What did who?" Questioned Hiro, questionably once again, "It is?!? Now now, it's not brown, but a cow!"

"Sweet!" exclaimed the Pika, striking up a heroic pose with as much heroism as he[/she/it] could muster, with he[/she/it] being only 2 feet tall with scratched paint and hooks for hands, that is, "I'm back, baby! My first correction is..."

And that's where Mike finally came in, popping out some the1 PikadéxBatteries and silencing it for at least a few chapters. Well, more like just the rest of this one, but that's not important right now. Well, actually, it is, but that's also not important right now.

So as Hiro was saying... "So as Hiro was saying, I've come up with an incredibly and excellently better Idea again. So dig in!" he shouted, as it were, and proceeded to pull off with his Idea, which was also involving the Pulling Off of Something. Only in the Idea's case, it was the pulling off of the Old Guy's Hair. And this guy had a lot of hair. And when I say a lot of hair, I mean a lot of hair. And so does he. Except when he says a lot of hair, what he really means is a LoT of Hair. So that being said, Hiro just got in there and pulled it off. I know, it sounds implausible, but it's actually not! Ha! The reasoning behind this incredible marketing decision was that this man's Lot-O-Hair was actually a really hairy Wig-Type-Thing.

That paragraph was getting kinda long, so here you have it, the last half of Hiro's Idea. Whaddaya think so far? Not bad, eh? Well, anyway, after the WigRemoval, Hiro, in his final MikeSilencing Effort, inserted every inch of Hair into Mike's Head. And by head, I mean face. And by face, I mean mouth.

"HEY, MIKE! SAY SOMETHING!!"

Suddenly, Mike decided to join the convo. So here. "b[mUffLe]kspdL[hAIR]ya[MuuFFle]!!?!??!??!,,.,.:;:;??!??!"

"Ha! I win! Take that, Corporate America!" exclaimed it. The Hiro.

"Yeah, well, that's cool and nice and Happy and all..." said the Man, "but Mr. Narration, you really need to stop sticking youself in the middle of our dialogue. It's pissing me off."

Sorry. Wait, why am I sorry? I can just kill you off here and now. Well, maybe not here and now, cause nothing in this story happens here and now anymore. But soon enough. So stop rambling already.

"And also, where's my money? I need amazing purchasing ability for some Wigs and a Wig Shop and my new Wig Café, and some hats and bifocals."

"Suddenly Hiro says OH YEAH! The money, it was left in MyRoom, which was actually not my Room. Remember, I was the guy who was locked in it by You. And then you let me out, in the guise of UndercoverFagOfOld."

"And that's another thing! Stop calling me a fag! I'm not gay or a cigarette!"


*In Hiro's Head*

"Ciggy Ciggy Smoke Burn Smoulder!" Smoked Smokey the Smoking Cig.

...or, for you crazy sexist/homophobes...


*In Hiro's Head*

"Gay Gay Homo Homo Poopsex" gayyed the Homo.

"So anyway, you foolish old Fag, it's in me room!" wrote Hiro, leading this mysterious Man back into Room 19. "Follow me, Mysterious Man, as I lead you to certain peril inside Room 19!!"

"Okies" ILikeThatWord'ed Oldm.

Well, as you can undoubtedly assume by now, Hiro was not only a cheat but a Lier as well. So call him a Lier if you must, but he stands for what he belevies in. And what he belevied in was locking OldF inside 19 for all eternity inside just Like Mike. You know, that really crappy movie that everyone should hate, Like Mike? Magic Shoes, as if. What next, an imaginary world filled with strange and imaginary mystery creatures? Well, yes, and Hiro belevied in that one, too. So he shouted out "Sucker!" while making DoorSlammey on poor Old Fag. So he proceeded to run outside, where through the process of some more proceedings he saw a bunch of bugs. But these weren't just any old bugs, for as we all know...

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!" shouted the crowd. Suddenly, Ron Popeil had to come and get them, so Hiro and I were screwed out of a live studio audience. Damn that Ronco. I guess I'll just have to take care of this one myself. So once again, what we all knew was that there are no rea--

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!"

For as we all know,

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!"

There are no real

"SET IT AND--" at that moment, however, Ronco unfortunately and mysteriously closed when Ron Himself was killed in a freak Mike accident, and the day was saved. So just remember, there are no real animals in the world of Pokémon. And this is why... uh...

"I saw cool Pokémon bugs, not just ordinary bugs!" shouted Hiro helpfully. "What? I wasn't trying to help. I wasn't even paying attention. I just saw some really cool Pokémon bugs that were definitely not your average, run-of-the-mill bugs. And they made me think--"

Seeing those bugs made Hiro think [wow!], and once he had thought long and hard enough, he remembered something involving BUGS and CATCHING.

"Oh, yeah, I gotta catch some bugs with my new BugCatchingGame! I hope I'm not a guy who is Late!" he shouted happily, and then somewhat concernedly, before forgetting all of it, grabbing a Bug Catching Sticker and Seventy-Five Park Balls and setting out into the Park. While on his way to the exit on the other side of the park [he had forgotten what the BugCatching game was while he was counting out his 75 Park B's] Hiro found an incredibly strong Scyther. He tried to eat it, but it wouldn't give, so he took it on in hand to hand combat.

He died again.

That being said, all his Pokémon came out and died, too, except for his Suicune, which tried to run away and accidentally stepped on one of the precisely counted 75 Park Balls that had spilled everywhere when Hiro had fallen victim and was caught. Then a kid came along, picked up one of the Balls, and threw it at the Scyther, catching it and winning a victory for Hiro. I say Hiro because the ball had belonged to Hiro, so it had flown back to him instead of the little kid, who ran back screaming to its parent. The ball, meanwhile, hit Hiro on the head, waking him up, and causing him to spend the next 3 days trying to cram all of his Pokémon into his Pokédex [which was actually an empty Chocolate Box, if you remember correctly], until he just threw them at the pile of Balls and finally won. And that's when the contest ended, and he finally made it to the other little house thing on the other side of the park. Have fun there! [Uh, by the way, Hiro had just "caught" a level 2 Scyther. Thanks for your concern, jackass]

Inside the house, 10 or 15 trainers were crowded around a small wooden desk, behind which stood a small sweaty man holding several prizes behind his back. Then the man spoke.

"All right, listen up!" he rasped, his voice like sandpaper agains Hiro's ears, "The winner of the BCC is... GayTrainer Nick!!! GTN, you win a cool Solar Stone! Everyone else wins a NUT! HA!" Sweaty shouted, hurling Nuts at everyone who had failed, and dropping a Solar Stone on GTN, knocking him unconcious. Seeing this, Hiro realized his opening, and struck. Well, he didn't really realize the opening, and I can't be too sure, but I don't think he saw it either. But anyway, he took the stone with a cry of

"I WANT THE GLOWIN' ROCK OF GLOWING SUPERIORITY!!!!"

and ran out of the little hut as fast as his atrophied little legs could carry him, until he almost died again.

"Man I'm fat. I wish I had a skateboard. That'd be cool. But whatever, I can manage." said Hiro, disappointed and sad and such.

"AHEM!" cleared Mike, ripping the hair out of his throat in an effort to better... further Hiro's career.

"Oh, right. I do have a skateboard! COOL! Thanks bunches, Mike ol' Pal!" H. Shouted, jumping on his skateboard and rolling right into a tree!

"Ooh, that's GOTTA hurt!" <Mike or Pikadéx? YOU be the judge.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chpater : 42

Well, Hiro seems to be on His Track again, but it's not working, is it? Let's check in and see.
Hiro: WHERE'S THE GYM LEADER WHEN YOU NEED HER!
Mike: ?
Hiro: No, WHERE IS HSE!
Pikadéx: She's gone now.
Hiro: What?
Pikadéx: She's gone now.
Hiro: I know. What?
Pikadéx: You know now, but she's still gone b]now[/b]
Hiro: Oh. Ok. What!>?!?!
Mike: KkndknaikKNijd9oencv9e cvkoz
Hiro: Mike's right.
Pikadéx: *smaking Hiro*. How do you know?
Hiro: Well he did just say some stuffs.
Pikadéx*continuesing to smack Hiro*:. You can't understand him.
Hiro: Why not?
Pikadéx: you jundst can't, okay?
Suddenly they realized that they were still stuck inside the lighthouse.
So they walked around for a bit.
Hiro: Why are we here?
Mike: Youadoujjkn awnatenssd k tosnsdbobe hereereeewwwsss4t54
Pikadéx: is speaking Wait, didn't we see the guynm leader a couiple minutes ago?
Hiro: Oh yeah, that's right. She's at the gym

PREPARE FOR GYM BATTLE.



That chapter was a piece of shit. Forgive me.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

OMG liek teh new chapter. This one sucks almost as much as the last one but I'm satisfied anyway. Hahaha.

Chapter 43

So they went off to see teh gym leader.

Hiro: Wait, why are we going here again?
Pikadéx: Ask Hiro.
Hiro: Ask Pikadéx.
Mike: ...
Hiro: Oh right. Badge.
So they got to the gym and waht do they sees?
Hiro: Blade!
Blade: Hi.
Hiro: Hi.
Mike: *scowl and gibber*
Pikadéx: Meh.
Blade: So Hiro, what's all this I hear about thing?
Hiro: Oh [i]thiat[/o]. Thing.
Pikadéx: Hey, blade, since when did you become one of the idiots?
Blade: Why is your 'e' accebted? That means you're a pikadayx.
Pikadex: Fair enough.
STAY TUNED MORE THINGS IS HAPPEN.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 44

So Blade actually had to leave. It really kinda sucks, but really, come no, it'snot that bad. They're att he gym now BTW.

Hior: GYM LEADER!
Jasmine is the leader, remember this now.
Jasmine: Hi, I'm not here, help me i n the a lighthoues becasue of my good friend the Pogeyman its sick help it pl--
Hiro: What's a Pogeryman?
Pikadex: Hey, where's my accent go?
Hiro: Pikadéx, analyzie THIS NOW!
Pikadéx: Pogeymanz are Pokémon except gayer and more homophobic.
Hiro, so: do we want o help it?
Mike: ka;fkdfmaeiolfsjeaioe9no
Pikadéx: No, cause theyre not good .
Hiro: Why?
And so they stood and discussed Pogeymanz long into the night, until they went back to the lighthouse to help it and first to kill more pplxz and steal more shizzl ma nixz
Hiro: It's nighttime, and thee's only one was to go anywhere at night. SNEAKING SUSPICIOUSLY!
Pikadéx: That don't make sense.
Hiro: Well, if the cops see us acting suspiciously, they'll assume that they werere already trailing us and just stopped fora breathre.
Pikadéx: Won't work.
Mike: sfaIdaf asfasfasfsgsafrrrrgreergthe6
Hiro: See, Mike knows.
Mike: SFAYSFEODEINFSAFSUSFA8WK SAFJD3RFDSUFWFFMSFW34B3GA4QWFSE4GSD7K
Hiro: Yay! Hey Mike! We win! Let's go rub his faxe in it!
Mike: *scowl and gibbeer*
So they followed Hiro's plan and *surprist!* it didn't work, but then thngs happenedd causing all the cops to go chase Fred.
NEXT CHAPTER HAV TEH LIGHTHOUS

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 45

So thanks to Fred everyone's free now, so let's check in, k?

Hiro: *going in to lighthouse* Come on, we gots to be quiet!
Pikadéx: Why? It's not nighttime anymore>
Hiro: SHUTTUP ASSh! you'll wake up the whole neighborhood!
Pikadéx: They're already awake fol!
Hiro: See what you've done?
Mike: *funny wao wao trumpet sounds* *+ some gibber*
Hiro: Now hurry, before it's too late to turn back!
So one by one they went into the lighthouse and began to clinb some stair.s
Suddently just then a bunch of Sailor come up toHiro and be all fat and stuff [again]
Hiro: Let's fight, FO REAL!
NEXT CHAPTER HAVE THE FIRST ACTUAL HIRO FIGHT!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 46

Sailor: Let's fight.
Hiro: K.
They fight for a bit.
Hiro: Damn! I won!
Sailor: Boo hoo *cries for a time of severl minytes*
Hiro: Oh, shut up.
Sailor: *cries for several more minutes
Hiro: Fine, you wanna cry, cry. I don't care.
Sailor: *continues crying*
Hiro: *glancing newrvous* Good. Cry. I'm fine with that. Totally.
Sailor: *Much crying ensues*
Hiro: *sniffle* Yeah. That's right. I'm bet... bet... bettt.... *starts crying* AAAA
They cry for a bit.
Hiro: Sorry bout the beatage.
Sailor: *sniff*
Hiro: As a consolation, you can have my Pikadéx.
Sailor: Cool! Neaties+Thankx! *grabs pikadéx and runs off to stick it up horse vaginas*

**In Hiro's Head**

Sailor: No, I can't possibly take that from you, you two are too close to separate.
Hiro: Really, I insist. I can always get another one.
Sailor: No, really, you keep it.
Hiro: Well, if you won't take Pikadéx, at least keep Mike.
Sailor: Well, if you insist... *takes Mike and goes to be a better boss/buddy than Hiro ever was.
Sailor, Mike, and Pikadéx: Bless you, Hiro, nicest man of them all.

**bak to reality*

Pikadéx: GODDAM YOU!!!
Hiro: You know what, Pikadéx? I'm glad I still have you. Now let's go get that gym leader.
Mike: *scowl and gibber*

-----

BTW [2 tha mods] Thanks a bunch for changing the poll [/sarcasm]

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 47

Well, after surrendering Pikadéx to the SailorGuy, and basically doing nothing else, Hiro and Mike are still in the Lighthouse, K?

Hiro: I really am glad I still have you, Pikadéx.
Mike: I hate you.
Hiro: Shame about Mike, though. ...I guess.
Mike: I really, truly hate you. Without any doubt whatsoever.
*at this time it should be noted that because Hiro does not realize that Mike is Mike, his mental block is gone and he can understand his speech again.*
*they're still walking, btw. Climbing lots of pointless stairs, actually.*
Hiro: Although he had been conspicuously silent for the last couple chapters...
Mike: I didn't think you had the mental capacity to deal with anything I had to say.
Hiro: *chuckling* You know, Pikadéx, you're starting to sound funny. I think you've finally realized the wonders of being... not... right.
Suddenly they were surrounded by sailors for no reason.
Sailors: HEY LOOK ITS HRIO AND MIKE! LET'S FIGHT 'EM!
Hiro: ?? *confusion* I think you're wrong. Mike is gone to have a new buddy. This is Pikadéx
Mike: *sigh/Forehead SLAP!*
Sailors: We'll still fight you!
Hiro: Shouldn't you all be sailing? You are sailors, after all.
Sailors: *uncomfortable shifty/glancing* RUN!!!!!!
The sailors run, leaving our heroes to face... THE LAST FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

[DarkEntei]

This had me laughing throughout the whole thing. I love the spoofs on the game and how you just make people say OKAYBYE$$. It's sorta random and everything feels like a blur, but I appreciate it for what it is: silliness.

[Leon-IH]

Just read all of this, and I can't stop laughing - this rules!

[Ultra_Poke2000]

i think it was Pikadex who said it. and what's Hiro gunna do with that stone? btw, lol!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Waaaait... *looks around* this can't be right! Somebody actually replying to this? And liking it?!?!?!? No. Something must be wrong here. I think there's some kind of kit lying around here for this...


[/me being stupid]

Aaaanywho... Thank You for this, it really lifted my spirits. I'm really glad you like this, I've been trying pretty hard to keep up the funny. And I'm also glad you appreciate this for its silliness; when you start reading this with regular criticism and normalcy in mind, I don't think you really get the full effect. So thank you for that, as well. And... that's really all I have to say on the matter. And I also give you a new chapter yippee!

Chapter 48

They rounded the corner and...
Mike: STAIRS!
They rounded the stairs and...
Hiro: CLIMBED!
They climbed the stairs and...
Hiro: You know what, Pikadéx? We make a pretty good team.
Mike: HOLY CRAP! IT'S A POGEYMAN!
Hiro: WHERE!?! *turns head*
Mike shoots Hiro in the head, killing him instantly.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Leon: Woah, I'm getting readers omg liek wath next teh apolocyppsze>? ...And also I gurgle with pleasure at your unstoppable giggling.

Ultra-Poké: Take a Guess. Go ahead, Guess. I daaaaare ya. Yea. Take your best shot. I bet you don't have the balls. Yeah, that's right, I said it. You heard it here first. Booya! [btw I was kidding keep liking hiro kthxbye].

...And unfortunately I have no new chapter, I just don't have the time at the moment. Once the school Soccer Season ends [in roughly 2 weeks] I should be able to get one up. So expect one... before the start of December okay that's good yo!! But, since there hasn't been an update in a while, I'll give you a little Hiro Short Film* to tide you over.
*Hiro Short Film is neither Hiro, nor a Short Film


Chapter : HRIO!!!

Hiro: OMG liek teh cool.

Pikadex: You suck:

Mike: Bla

They have hijinks.


END


o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

But wait, there's more!

Chapter 49

Me: Nope. Won't work.
Mike: WHAT?!?
Me: Hiro dying. Won't work. Too serious. And sad. They took it out of Clerks, I'm taking it out of THE MISADVENTURES OF HIRO.
Mike: Waaait... weren't you fired?
Me: Yes. But now I'm hired. Deal with it, bitch.
Mike: I'm gonna shoot you. *aims gun*
Me: Now I remember why I stopped letting you talk. You're a real douchebag. You just lost your speaking privelages.
Mike: a;dkmi-- NOOafsfOOOOOasdfOOOOOvrgaeOOOOO!!!!1!!?@/2!
Me: And Hiro, you've just lost your death privelages.
Hiro: Sweet! MIKE! BLADE! LESGO!!!!
Me: You may now do as you wish.
*Mike and Blade gather*
Both: AROOF!
Blade: *thinking* how the hell does he do that!?!
Well, while all these goings-on were going on, the Pogeyman ate the gym leader, so Hiro gutted it and took the badge.
NEXT CHAPTER R STUFFS!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yes, here it is, the last chapter of The MAH. And yes, this time I'm for real. Fifty chapters and I'm completely done because I'm just that lazy and tired. The reasons behind this cataclysmic decision are long winded and confusing, and I'd tell you them if I could remember them. But as I can't, just read this last chapter, and be glad I put so much effort into it. I may make some kind of a new sequel sometime in the future, but don't expect it anytime soon. Just keep watching for new chapters of the new Hiro, and be happy you got this instead of me being annoying and angsty again. Here.

!

Chapter 50

Suddenly Fred appeared. Out of Nowhere.

Mike: KkADNMOKRNAoknfasiorje9j
Hiro: FRED! It's time to finish this pointless things forever!
Fred: Alright, let's see what you got. GENGAR, GO!!!!
Hiro: GO TOG!!
Tog: MOM!! You finally like me! Let's bond!
Hiro: HeyHEY! *furious pointing gesture* Fighghtyy
Tog: Damn you, Hiro. You've forced me to use drastic measures.
Hiro: Ahhh... *more furious pointing* Fightyyyyy
Tog: *exasperation* FIIINE!
Fred: Yes.
Blade: Uh, Hiro, you might want to pay attention to Fr--
Hiro: And you. Stop talking.
Blade: *stare*
Hiro: *stare*
Blade:*stare*
Hiro:*stare*
B:*stare*
H:*stare*
B:*s*
H:*s*
Fred: *glare*
Mike: *scowl and gibber*
Hiro: Tog, USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!!
Tog, sensing his opportunity to strike, did as he was ordered.
[meaning he sat there. Get it? It's funny]
Fred: Damnit! He got us this time! Gengar, return!
Fred returned his very confused [and still somewhat surprised] Gengar and sent out his next Mon.
Fred: Meganium, Go2!
Hiro: HOLY CRAP! Tog, dodge it!
Tog reacted quickly and just barely missed being hit by the sight of Fred's Meganium, leaving both open and vulnerable for an attack.
Fred: Meganium, use ATTACK!
Hiro, sensing that Tog would not be able to stand this hideous offense aftetr already enduring so much, returned him and sent out...
Hiro: PICHU, GO!!!
Blade: Uh, Hiro, you kicked your Pichu into the ocean almost twenty chapters ago, don't you remember?
Hiro: DAMN HIM! That's two of my Pokémom he's taken out! I'll need to pull out all the stoops here... GO CYNDAQUIL!!
Fred: Hmm... type advantage, eh? Alrighty, mEGANIUM, fight it!
Meganium have glance at Fred becuase of strangety.
Hiro: Don't worry cyndaquil, you can take it! Fight back!!
The two Pokés just kinda stared at each other until cyndaquil poked Meganium in the eye and was declared winner.
Hiro: YES, I WIN! And you know what that means...
Fred: Yeh yeh, I'm on it..
Fred then emptied out all his money into Hiro's money holder and proceeded to explode in a firey ball of Liquid Paper.
Suddenly the cops pulled up in a tricked out old Jumpster McBus.
Cops: Which one of you is Fred!
Hiro: Not me, that's for sure.
Cops: Let's search you and be sure!
During the search they discovered Fred's ID's, Bank Cards, and worldly possesions that Hiro had confescated and re-confiscated them for confascation purposes.
Cops: Alright, Fred, you're going away for a long time.
Hiro: DAMN YOU FRED!!

Later, at the courthouse...

Judge Weakest Link Lady: I call the prosecution to the stand!
Prosecution [AKA Officer Joy]: The prosecution calls Hiro to the stand!
Hiro: The Defense Rests.
Bailiff: HeyHEY! Swear first.*he holds out a Bible*
Hiro: Fuck. The defense rests.
Lawyer [AKA me]: No, we don't. The defense calls Mike [AKA Pikadéx] to the stand!
Mike: Wehgastheevyewrt itth wsalst, Is'fmg smutreem hyef deibdy iutq.
Lawyer: The defense calls Pikadéx [AKA Mike] to the stand!
Pikadéx: It was that man!
Judge WLL: Let the record show that it is pointing at Mr. Hiro.
Lawyer: The defense calls Blade to the stand!
Blade: *sobbing*...he treated us like dogs! It was awful!
Lawyer: The defense calls Professor H. Tree to the stand!
P. Tree: Hiro is a loser. Kill him.
Lawyer: The defense calls PingPong to the stand!
Pingpong: He's a racist, a homophobe, and completely insane! Arrest this man!
Cops: Uh, we did.
Pingpong: Then my work here is done! *flies away on a fat guy*

Several Hours Later...

Lawyer: The defense calls... This random little kid!
Kid: He killed my snubble and pushed me!
Lawyer: The defense calls... Goddamnit Hiro, isn't there anyone you haven't horribly wronged here?
Hiro: Obviously not. Why do you think you're my lawyer.
Lawyer: You've got a point there. The defesne rests.
Judge: Closing statements?
OJ: Hiro loses.
Me: Uh, likewise. *leaves*
Judge WLL: Ok, Hiro's the weakestlink, etc, you're in jail for a time, neat.


THE END

eh.

[mr_pikachu]

So it's actually over, huh? That was a fast ending, to say the least. Kinda reminiscent of the last Seinfeld, too. One of the few episodes I watched. Not much to comment on here, except that it was very, very abrupt. Though I suppose I can't criticize that since this is meant to be an insane spoof anyway...

*plays taps for the original Hiro*

[The Decapitated Mole]

Heh, you know, I didn't notice the Seinfeld-like-ness of this until you pointed it out, but yes, the two are strikingly similar. I guess I started out wanting Hiro to go to jail, and the best way to end the story would be to bring back a bunch of characters, so courthouse it is. I also wanted to write another battle between Hiro and Fred [because they've all turned out so well in the past]. And as for the abruptness of the ending, I don't think I did that on purpose, but maybe I did. It's better that way, anyway, more Hiro-ish.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

New chapter. I'd say something amusing, but my dad has succeeded in completely eliminating the good mode I got from writing this chapter. Here.


Chapter Nineteen

Well, considering that Hiro had just hit his head on something rather head-hurting[namely that big ol' tree], he was considerably in a considerable AMT of head pain. But enough about me, let's hear what the man himself has to say about this.

"Ow, my head hurts," said Hiro, quite blandly and without feeling any emotion. What a loser. He's getting fired. Or maybe replaced. Although I think we tried that once... "OW! IT HURTS AGAIN, YOU MORON!"

"mKDIAkafMkJIOAJknasodifma93mfkaodkgod?" asked Mike somewhat reasonably. I wonder what Hiro will have to say about that, just so to be happening.

"What?"

"mKDIAkafMkJIOAJknasodifma9...3mfkaodkgOd..?" Mike slowly repeated, what with his slow, repeating manner and all. He's really got to knock that stuff off. It's irritating.

"I know what, but I mean exactly what?"

"mKDIAkAFMkJIOAJKNASODIFMA...9...3...M...FKAOD...Kg o. d?" Once again, Mike has shown us all what an amazing person-talkie he is, what with his talking and being a person and all. He's really got to knock that stuff off. It's irritating.

"Ok, I'm only gonna ask this once more. WHAT?!" He's stupid, ain't he? It's plain and clear to any damn fool that the message Mike's trying to get across is

"MKDIAKAFMKJIOAJKNASODIFMA93MFKAODKGOD!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?!?!" Expelled Mike vigorously, what with his vigorous expulsion record. He's really got to knock that stuff off. It's irrita-

"SHUT UP!" Hiro, or one of them other guys. Actually, it's probably one of them guys, cause Hiro's got a line of dialogue coming up right about now that would really clash with this one. But then again, I don't want to bring out Pikadéx too soon either, so what shall I do? I'll just leave it for Hiro, I guess. "Oh, and by the way, A friggin pinecone fell on my head! WTF!? Pinecones in ****ing winter! Can you believe this?!?

Suddenly, the Pikadéx popped it's head up. "Uh, it's a Pineco. Not a pinecone. Pine-co. Just thought you'd like to know."

"Uh... Helloo?" prep-chick'd Hiro occasionally, "Please, Pikadéx, do tell, exactly how can that be a 'pineco,' as you so elegantly put it, when it clearly resembles a Pinecone? Eh? Huh? Eh? Huh? Que?"

"...And that's why the incredibly clever American translators renamed it Pineco. Get it? It's a play on words. ...Sorta. Well, not really at all, but it still resembles the word Pinecone, which it also resembles. Coincidence? I think not."

"Dude, this is so not a Pokémon," stated Hiro quite incorrectly, for what he was actually looking at was a rather large pinecone. Oh, wait, sorry that's Pineco. My bad. Won't happen again.

"Uh, 'dude,' I'm a goddamn Pokédex, I think I can tell the difference between a Pokémon and a bloody pinecone."

"Well obviously you can't. Damn stupid Pikachu."

"Once again, Hiro, that's a Pikachu Pokédex, but close," corrected Pikadéx, what with him bein' all corrective and such. He needs to stop, etc.

Hiro whirled around in anger, brandishing an empty fish ladle at him, "Dammit, shut up! I'm sick of you! ENOUGH CORRECTING!!!" he shouted, swinging blindly in his enraged state.

"And again, I think the word you're looking for is corrections..." sighed Pikadéx in exasperation, having had his fill of the one known as Hiro for this day. And, being aware of the fact that he had had his fill of TOKAH for today, he let loose an exasperated sigh.

Hiro, meanwhile, was having his own troubles. He had gone to great lengths to try to befriend this strange Pokémon[for this is what he believed his Pikadéx to be thusfar], and now it had just turned its back on him and become a Pokédex. A ****in Pokédex! Can you believe that? No, I thought not. So here he was going through this extreme inner turmoil, trying to figure out whether or not to eat this so-called 'Pikadéx' or not. In the end, he settled for shoving it inside his Lapras' shell. Unfortunately, he had no idea which Pokéball his Lapras was contained in, so he ended up impaling it through his Wooper. Well, no, he didn't. That's what he would have done, but he couldn't figure out which Pokéball contained his Wooper, so he settled for putting it inside his Lapras' shell. The only catch was that he still couldn't get the hang of those damn Pokéballs, so he ended up just setting the Pokéball very carefully atop the Pikadéx and then throwing them both at a nearby Rock. He then proceeded to leave.

"Remember the Alamo..."

"What the hell is the Alamo?!" questioned Hiro, trying to make some sense of what his brain had just fed him. Suddenly, he remembered something which, ironically enough, was not the Alamo. He did, however, run up to the Pineco and kick it, before running away so as not to be caught. Then, when he discovered that it was safe, he ran back, shoved it in his backpack and ran away again, before slowing to a walk several steps later on account of Rigor Mortis.

"Uhm... I think you've forgotten something rather important" The Pikadéx said in a super muffled voice from within the confines of his Rock/shell-like prison before starting to crawl out, causing Hiro to grab a nearby Rack and throwing it at him[after, of course, removing all products from the Rack, thus making it that much safer for play]. Hiro then sat and thought for seventeen days and nineteen nights to try and figure out what he couldn've forgotten, but to no avail. Then, on the twentieth eve of his sixteenth day, he had a revelation.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BREAKFAST!?!?!?!" he shouted, beating Mike and Pikadéx savagely over the head with his Pineco that doesn't have a Pokéball, "I need to break my fast!! I'm ****ing HUNGRY!!!!!"

"No, not that you retarded imp!" Pikadéx shouted at Hiro through all the muffle, and his newly accquired Static [thanks to Hiro's beatings and Rack-occurances, causing Hiro to sit and think for quite another length of time before being hit in the head with a rock [that was thrown at him by a kid], and shouting

"Oh yeah, that's right! I caught a friggin Pineco! Go me!"

"Dear god you're dense! That's my damn Pineco!" bellowed the Rock-thrower.

"Is that so?" asked Hiro inquisitively, him being the inquisitive type and all. He really needs to knock that off. It's irritating.

"Why yes it is, my good man."

"Alrighty then."

"You're damn right it is. By the way, my name's Alan, and I go to school, thus making me a Schoolboy, so you may as well call me SchoolBoy Alan!" exclaimed SchoolBoy Alan.

Hiro was confused. "SchoolBoy Alan? B-but I only know one Alan, and my hectic shcedule doesn't allow time for two! Looks like I'm gonna have to call you Alan PicksHisNoseAndEatsItWithAGumpOnYourLargeHeadAndLo tsOfHairAndIsProbablyHomosexual. That's what his last name was. And boy howdy, did he ever live up to it!"

"I dunno, did he?" questioned Alan.

"Why yes, yes he did."

"Heeey, wait a minute! Don't you dare talk about my brother that way!" shouted SBA, jumping out of his thin suit to reveal that he was actually a hideous Fat chick, "I'm not really Alan!"

"Uh, I think we'd kinda gathered that when you jumped out of your Thin Suit, dumbass," stated Pikadéx, making a broad generalization of the group in general.

"Speak for yourself, asswipe!"reamed Hiro, "I was totally perplexed."

"As well you should have been! For I am not really Alan!"

"Yes, we've been through this part before."

"I know, I was just--"

"I know what you were doing. Just don't do it."

"Fine. I'M HIS SISTER, ASHLEY!!!"

"Waaait a minute! You mean to tell me that you're not Alan!"

"That's right," Ashley sighed, "I'm his sister, ASHLEY!"

"Oh sweet jesus, Ashley?! So I take it you're Ashley FatAssWhiningIrritatingHugeAsACowAndTheStupidest** **ingBitchEverKnownOnThisPlanetOfMenAndMice, his adopted sister?

"You know what, that's really hurtful, even if that is my name."she whimpered, before leaping about an inch into the air and trying to land on Hiro, "You've earned yourself death by being sat on!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!"

"NO!"

"YES"

"NO! SAVE ME, MIKE!!!!!!" Hiro shouted, walking away at as leisurely a pace as he could maintain in such a paniked state.

Mike leapt into action to save his newfound best friend, grabbing the Rack and preparing to strike while letting out a humongous battle cry of "NOEIJGASIHGKLASAIJFJKHGJZSIGHJRASGNJSDMIGLSDJFVKSD JKGLKDGAEJ IGJTSTI0E-TIK[WGMGK5Y5YI3568305ITKM53VMTRU834693863OTMWPWTJAELPT GRIY-EUTGOR9TUE-9TU43T-03T I93U63UI 6-TEB!!!!!!~&%&*^$^&%*#$CYTC^%E^%#^"

Ashley, however, shrugged off the massive verbal assault with a cry of "Ha! I'm far too whiney and obnoxious to be disturbed by any amateur noise like that!" before she was hit with Mike and the Rack and was sent toppling over onto Hiro. Thanks, M.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"gasp"OOOOOOOOO--"

KKCKRUNCH!!!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, I'm really, really bored, and I just feel like making the re-writing of these chapters even more of a hassle for myself, so I'm doin it again, folks... ANOTHER KOOKY CHARACTER CONTEST!!!

This is my third now. The first two spawned such memorable characters as Mike [my only respons] and Blade [my other only response]. Just give me a basic description of your character [for the cartoon, you see] and their personality [which will simply be reduced to a quirk or two in the story] and you won't see them for a couple chapters until Hiro's sidekick-less again! Then I will painstakingly insert them into the story just like those crafty Lucasfilm bastards did with star wars! So... get crackin!

Oh, and as for the progress on chapter 20... I haven't made any. Sorry.

o_0
jimm

[Leon-IH]

^^ man, i nearly fell out of my chair.. armless chairs.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Oh, and by the way, in case nobody wants to look in the writer's lounge::: EPISODE ONE OF THE MISADVENTURES OF HIRO IS COMPLETE.

www.freakyface.cjb.net/episode1.swf

lemme know what you think here or in TWL. And I'm still working on chapter 20, but I want to get season one of the cartoon [first 25 episodes] written first. I have up to 9 so far. Anyone who wants to review scripts for me can talk to me, too.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, I finished this little chappy up yesterday [finally] so... here. And since nobody felt like entering the contest, it's gonna stay there forever, taunting you.

This chapter's nothin special, IMO, as I was basically hacking my way through the writer's block for most of it, but I did write chapter 21 yesterday, as well, and it's much better, so expect that sometime soon.


Chapter Twenty

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hello?! Hey!" can you tell it’s Hiro yet? I mean seriously, who else talks like that? Pikadex!? I should think not.

"I heard you the first time, goddamnit! What is it?!"

"Thanks," Hiro replied angrily.

"You’re welcome," replied the guy. You know the type. Well, it’s really less like a type and more like just that one guy Hiro’s talking to. But still…

"You didn’t let me finish," Hiro continued, "Thanks… for throwing that stick under Ashley’s ginormous ass!"

"Well. You’re still welcome," that Guy answered stealthily, cunningly, and just a bit sexily. The two boys stared at each other for a minute, and even though one of them wasn’t a boy and was in his late teens, they both had the same kind of mutual understanding that only the closest of friends can have with each other.

"Weellllllll?" Slice’n’Diced Hiro angrily, slip-slidin all over the place, " What the hell is your name?!"

"Oh. See, I was just gonna… go. This isn’t gonna be a regular thing or anything. I’s just kinda… bored," said the Guy brightly, then darkly, then brightly again, then really regular, before he turned and started to walk away.

"????????????" shouted Hiro expectantly.

"Oh, fine, the name’s Blade!" the guy said, whirling around all animé-like, "I’m a great Trainer, who’s unhealthily dedicated to the capture of Entei, Suicune, and Raikou!"

"That’s spectacular!"

"Why?" questioned the Bladester.

"Well, you’re just the kind of man I’m looking for to get this company off its feet!"

"You mean on its feet," re-corrected the Pikadéx, crawling out of the [[[place]]].

"What? Re? You never corrected me on that a first time! How can you re-correct something if it was never corrected in the first place! Go home!" Uh… I think that’s gonna have to be Blade. I mean, Hiro’s the stupid one, Mike can’t talk, and Pikadéx wouldn’t correct itself. But then again… the Pikadéx, by its very nature, is all into that correction stuff, so who knows? So yeah, let’s just make is Pikadéx.

"What? Re? I never corrected you on that a first time! How can I re-correct something if it was never corrected in the first place!?" said Pikadéx angrily, before realizing that it had just corrected itself and returning to its previous monotone to briefly state "Disregard previous statement. I can speak no wrong."

"And anyway," continued[?!] Blade, "I don’t really think that your… self… counts as a company."

"Shut up, both of you! Blade’s in, Mike’s out, and that’s the finale!" bellowed Hiro, before kicking Mike at the dog catchers union, who gladly scooped him up and tossed him back into his Route-House. "Now Let’s MOVE IT OUT! (…go…)"

"Hey, wait just a gosh-darned minute here!" argued Blade, excercising his rights to the last, "I never said I was going anywhere!"

"Oh yes you did!"

"No. No I didn’t."

"Oh. Well, in that case, YOU’RE COMING WITH ME!" screamed Hiro dramatically, making lightning and earthquakes, the whole shebang. He really went all-out for this one. Gotta give props to dat. …For… dat… whatever the standard props-giving procedures are, follow them, for they will never abandon you.

"And what makes you so sure?" questioned Blade inquisitively.

"Because if you don’t," responded Hiro despondantly. …Respons…ive…ly. Some sort of ‘spons‘ly, "I’ll beat you savagely over the head with my PINECO THAT DOESN’T HAVE A POKéBALL!!!"

"OOH! Where?! I wanna catch it and raise it as my own to spite you!" shouted Blade gleefully.

"No. That’s--no. j-no. Jus, just no! That’s its name, you FOOL! It’s NAME!!!" Hiro said, exasperation on his lips. "exasperation…"

"Uh… cool?"

"Yes. Yes it is. Now LESGO!!!" he screamed!

"AROOF!" blade responded obediently.

And so they walked. And walked and walked… Well, actually, after about minute Hiro spotted a tiny little albino in an indian costume sprinting through the trees and decided to chase after it with a cry of "HEY! IT’S A LITTLE INDIAN MAN/WOMAN LESGO BLADE TIME TO GET HIM/HER!!!"

H:\aroof2.bld

So they chased it. And as they chased it, it ran. Oh, how it ran! I kinda wish I’d been there to see it, but them’s the breaks. So they chased it up to and including the point where all the indians lived in a secret tribal hut that was separated the Bug Catcher’s game only by a row of four-foot high banzai tree, but for some reason no one could see it, or even knew it was there.

"OOGA BOOGA!!" shouted the tribal leader in standard Tribal Leader fashion.

"Hey, wait a minute," noted Blade observantly, "you’re not indians at all! You’re just a bunch of American celebrities for some reason."

"Shut it uppy!" whispered Kevin James, who was apparently the leader, angrily.

"ATTENTION ALL!" grouched Hiro, standing on a soapbox and raising his arms up to appease the Great Gobstopper in the sky, "I AM HIRO! WHAT IS YOUR TRIBE?"

"INDIAN TRIBE, INDIAN TRIBE!!!" chanted the assorted celebs in unison.

"Well in that case, LESGO!!" shouted Hiro, making one of those ‘lets go’ motions with his arm. You know, the ones that are all ‘let’s go!’. That.

"AROOF!!" bellowed the whole tribe and Blade, before getting up out of that big ol’ hut and following Hiro out into that place called thee.

""How does he do that?!" thought Blade angrily to himself, vowing to one day both strip Hiro of his Suicune and find the secret to his Aroofing. SO UNTIL NEXT TIME…

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!!"

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chaptchah Chewnchy One...ch...



Chapter Twenty-One

If you recall from our last adventure, Hiro and his brand new Pal Blade had just met up with an indian Tribe made up of Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Robin Williams, Bill Cosby, Steven Colbert, Robert DeNiro, and a host of other American Celebrities, the likes of which the world has never before seen!! …and they’re walkin around.

"Boy, all this walking sure is fun!" said Hiro happily, walkin along down that good ol’ country road.

"Hiro, I think it’s time somebody told you the truth. You," said Blade with a heavy heart, "You… You were adopted!"

"WHAT?!?" exclaimed Hiro, shocked at this earth-shattering ground-breaking rock-smashing poster-toting news right here.

"Meh, I dunno. I was just guessing."

"Oh, well in that case…"

"Hay guyz im here!!" shouted Pikadéx gleefully, jumping up on Hiro’s head, "Whaddid I miss?"

"Pikadéx, I think it’s time somebody told you the truth," said Hiro with a heavy heart, "I’m adopted."

"Woah, didn’t see that one coming!" said Pikadéx, jumping to conclusions oh so fast in that conclusion-jumping way he has. He’s actually become quite good at it, too. It’s been said that he can clear nine conclusions in a single NineJumps! But back to Hiro…

"No no no!" sadded Hiro insanely. What? "I called you here, my good ‘dex, because you’re supposed to make me feel better!"

"But Hiro, you know that’s not my style! All I’m supposed to do is neurotically correct every single thing that happens and make everyone feel insecure and inferior, along with a bunch of other in-words."

"Fine, fine. I’m getting tired of this gag, anyway. ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!!"

So onward they walked, this ragtag bunch of misfit hooligans, until they came to a strange moving tree. And by moving, I of course mean wiggling. And wiggling, well that’s just no good.

"Hey! You! Stupid Ass Wiggly Tree! Move Your Stupid Ass! Nobody likes you! Nobody! Not one person likes you!" shouted Hiro, looking the tree right in the… bark… and shouting "Hey! You! Stupid Ass Wiggly Tree! Move Your Stupid Ass! Nobody likes you! Nobody! Not one person likes you!"

"All these people frighten me," mumbled Blade, glancing back at the Celebians, who were sitting in a big circle taking turns quoting from movies or TV Shows they’d been in, "I swear, one of these days they’re gonna get me arrested. …And then sent to Mars. …On a gigantic space shuttle. …With every person Hiro’s ever met on it… Where was I again?" Suddenly Hiro called out to him, and he was forced to respond with "NO HIRO, I CAN’T KILL TREES!"

"But you’ve got that awesome sword! Is it just completely useless, or what?!" Hiro shouted back dilligently.

"Yes! It’s a papiér Maché prop that was welded to my spine in a tragic accident similar to the creation of Dr. Octopus, beloved supervillain and ex-teacher of Peter Parker!" Blade responded again.

"Well then, I have no choice," Hiro stated dramatically, with shadows and crazy camera angles and the whole nine yards. Why the hell do people say nine yards, anyway? Nine’s not that much, especially in American football context, considering that there are 100 yards in a AF field [not counting the end zones, of course], "TRIBE!!!"

"COME ON A YE HA!!!!!!" shouted Jack black, bravely vocalising the thoughts of the entire cast and crew.

"LESGO!!!"

"AROOF!!!" shouted the tribe, stampeding right on over the wiggling tree, and continuing on until they reached one of them places that you’re not allowed to go or else it’ll get all glitchy. You know the ones, over behind those tiny ass trees? I think I’ve actually made mention of them before. Chapter eleven, I think it was? Well, anyway, you get the idea. Basically you’ll never see them again.

"Boy howdy, I sure am catching a lot of Pokémon!" shouted Hiro, scooping up the almost dead, comatose, paralytic Sudowoodo in a Pokéball and walking away, "HEY BLADE! PIKADéX! YOU GUYS COMIN OR WHATNOT?!"

"Uh…"they glanced at each other nervously before turning and starting to walk away. Only in the Pikadéx’s case, it wasn’t really walking so much as trying to roll but falling over because its wheels were pretty InBadShape from the beatings it has ensued[?!?].

"Now come on guys. You don’t want me to have to…"

"Hey man, you know what?! Bring it! Gimme your best shot!" rebutted Blade tattlishly.

"LESGO!" screamed Hiro at the top of his lungs, as Blade jumped to his side obediently with a cry of "AROOF!" and the Pikadéx slowly dragged itself over with its coathanger-hook-hands. "That’s what I thought. Now then, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover before we get to StrangeName mcCityPants, so let’s get a move on!"

So they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and wklead and welkad and walked and walked and walked for a little while until they got to Ecruteak City!!!yay!

"Hey Hiro, I’ve got an idea," piped up Blade antsily, "Let’s go over to that BurnedThing tower and check out some awesome stuff! I hear they’ve got bees!"

"I love beez!!!!!!" shouted Hiro, and they were on their way at last. And then they were there, because nothing noteworthy happened while they were headed there. It just didn’t, so don’t question it. So they walked in the Tower and FRED WAS RIGHT THERE WTF!!!

"Hiro, you’re a GAY RETARD!!!"

"No I’m not!"

"Well, you sure as hell aren’t a straight one!"

"What? That made no sense!" squeaked Blade.

"And who’s this, your gay lover?!"

"No way man, Blade’s too cool to be gay!"

"Oh he is, is he?! Then explain these photos I, uh… actually, these would hurt me more than him, so let’s just call it a draw, huh?"

"I think you’ve told me plenty already," said Hiro smugly.

"No, no I haven’t," started Fred, "No, no I didn’t start, you ass! I believe we’ve talked to you before about interrupting our dialog, so you really gotta scram!!" he continued, somewhat agitated, before finishing, "I really didn’t tell you a thing."

"Oh, well then. That’s cool."

"Yes. So." Fred returned.

"Yeah…"

"You’re a gay retard!!" shouted Fred again, laughing hysterically at his own hysterics before being taken down a peg by the mighty verbal assault about to be performed in 321 now

"Fred, do you want me to kill you? Aaaagain?" Hiro did, saying one of those fist swingies for the duration.

"What? I’m not… no! I’m not dead!" Fred remarked. "Not yet, a-- Oh bloody hell! I am dead! I gotta go resurrect myself!! You’re a retaaaaaaard!" his ghost shouted, floating away towards an island that was erupting from a volcano, even though it didn’t actually have one.

[A Grilled Fish]

THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA!

An island erupting from a volcano? Oo

[The Decapitated Mole]

I’m sorry, but four years of this is too much. It’s over. I’m done. I’ve moved on, I can do better than this. I apologize to any of you who were fans of this story, I hate doing this, but I just can’t do this anymore. I’m moving on. I may decide to continue the animations, the first ten of which I have written, but aside from that, this is the end for Hiro. It’s been fun, but I’ve matured and improved so much throughout the course of this [as can be evidenced by the multiple style changes throughout this story] and I’ve realized that I’m just not funny enough to do it anymore, at least not in the sense that I was when I started. I hope you enjoy this last bit of the story, because this is all there will be.

o_0
jimm





Chapter Twenty-Two

So after their heroics in the LastChapter called The One Wherein They Fight the Evil Fred ©®"!. So as we begin our chapter, Hiro and Blade are continuing along through the Burned Tower after Fighting the Evil Fred©®"! and all of a sudden they were come upon by a Fire Breathing FIREBREATHER!!

"Ugh. There are so many ways that sentence can be misinterpreted," stated Blade grimacing, "Well, there's really only one way, and in any case I don't really think it's at all appropriate for a Pokémon story."

"Oh you and your crazy happenins!" hooted Hiro, laughing his bowels off up in the great blue yonder, "No wonder those things happened!"

"What things?"

"Yeah, this guy here,"Hiro stated drunkenly, grabbing Blade around the shoulders, "He knows the type!"

"Type?!" shouted the Pikadéx, jumping up from over there, "You were talking about things! And that's not even what you were talking about in the first place!!"

"Let's hurry this up, Pikadéx, I've got places to go, people to meet, things to see, places to meet, people to see, things to go, places to see, people to go, things to meet, and so on and so forth, so can we please get to the POINT!?!"brazened Hiro enunciatingly.

"My point, my good Hiro, is that you need to sort out your fiscal situation and get your state of affairs under control before you're buried in paperwork once and for all!"

"DONE!" bellowed the Hizro, slamming a fistfull of bills [$, that is] on the table and walking out of the room in a smoky haze.

Meanwhile, the Firebreather, who had been standing on the sidelines all this time, finally piped up, "Hey, am I gonna get to do anything or what?"

"Shut it up, McGulliny, you'll get your chance!" intrused Hiro frightfully, tossing that McG off to the wherever he camed form yo.

"B-but my name's Wilso--"

"YOU'RE MCGULLINY!!!"

"Fine. Now check this out!" shouted the McGulliny, jumping up and sprouting a large and quite unsightly Fire out of his… face. Seeing this brought back memories for Hiro. All of a sudden he flashed back to the good ol' days, back in Easton MA when he would spend hours just lookin' around, walkin' around. And then he came back to the present and realized how cool firebreathing was.

"Hey! HEY! I WANNA BREATHE FIRE!!!" he shouted anxiously, nudging FB McG so hard that his ribs collapsed and he was angry because he was ribless.

"Well well well. It seems a though you've fallen into my trap!" exclaimed the Firebreather gleefully, pointing his finger accusingly in Hiro's direction.

"Uh, actually, no he hasn't." spoke the Pdéx, waving a coupla hooks at the fub.

"Yeah, I don't even think you layed a trap, let alone caused Hiro to fall into it." Blade added, trying to help out as much as possible.

"Ok, ya got me."

"So… can I breathe fire or not?" questioned daH?

"Well, lemme deal this with ya--We'll battle for it!" Wheel-dealt the wild firebrand, "If I win, I can breathe fire, but if you lose, I can breathe fire."

"Excellent, I can't lose!"

"Now Hiro, as your financial manager I must advise you against such an offe--"

"Oh get out of here, you!"

"Fine, I will. Just remember-- bad deals, bad meals!" advised You, walking off in that shady businesslike way he's got. And that briefcase. That smarmy fucking briefcase. I can't take it. He sickens me. And most everyone else, too, which is probably why Hiro's banished him to [place]. And as long as we're on the subject, this keyboard really sucks.

*new computer = new keyboard yay begin new keyboard now!*

"So then. Let's get this partay startayed," continued McGulliny abrasively.

"Haharr! Now it's time… FOR THE UNOWN NUMBER TWENTY-ONE GO!!!" SHOUTED HIRO, TOSSING OUT A POKéBALL FROM WHICH POPPED A UNOWN SHAPED LIKE THE LETTER U, "O MAN WATS UP WIT DAT J0 I WANTD 1 DEM C-SHAPPED 1Z DAWG," HE CONTINUED DEJECTEDLY.

"Yeah… I'ma use a Magby," folklored the fireman, regurgitating his Magby which promptly jumped up and poked Hiro's Unown in its ever-lovin' eye What a shame, I was just starting to warm up to the little rascal. Well no, I wasn't at all, but you get the idea. Or at least you should, it's a real simple thing. Okheregoes::: Hiro's talkin' all crazy-like now.

Actually, forget that, as just then Micky Gull's shouted out "Holy shizam, I can breathe fire! Yippee! Yay! Weeeeedelyhoodney!!!"

"Oh dear God, I'm whiting out!!!!!" gasped Hiro angstily, collapsing in a heap as ol' McGulliny fumbled with the lid of a white out container before pouring it into every nook and cranny of Hiro's being and running away as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"HIRO!"

"Yeah?"

"Well… don't you wanna know who said that first?"

"Oh don't be silly, Pikadéx, I know it's you!"

"You'd better belie—No, no, wait just a gosh-darned minute here! It-It's me, Fred! Back from beyond the… life."

"Uh, cool? Can I go now?" AskedHiro™.

"No! Since I'm back to life and I'm gonna KILL YOU!!!" shouted Fred, jumping at Hiro with a bunch of Pokéballs glued together in the shape of a sword in his hand.

"Uh, that sentence is both grammatically incorrect and blatantly homophobic. I demand a regime change!" Shouted… Pikadéx, I guess.

"Yeah, about that… NEXT CHAPTER, HIRO; YOU'RE MINE!!!"

Giro: Hey! My name's different! Who's the bozo in charge of this!
Me: It's just a typo you moron.




[center]Chapter Twenty-Three

"Hey Hiro!"

"You already said that, you ASS!"

"Did I really?"

"Yes, yes I do believe you did."

"Well I am terribly sorry about that. You know how my memory just comes and goes these days."

"Oh yes, it is quite all right, I was simply pointing out that you’d said before is all."

Just then, somebody came along and punched Hiro in the face, yelling "Get back to normal, you fucking weirdo!" after which he stood, staring straight ahead for a few seconds, before snapping right on out of it.

"I say, Hiro old boy," puttered along Fred, clueless as ever, "that was rather rude now, wasn’t it?"

Hiro just stared at him for a few moments before punching him in the face and whispering "Get back to normal, you fucking weirdo," in his ear.

"Hiro, you son of a bitch, you’re gonna get it now, hoo boy yes," bellowed Fred, his voice echoing throughout the cavernous innards of the tower. Suddenly he seemed to remember something and looked at the bit of floor beneath his feet, only to discover that it wasn’t floor at all but some sort of annoying black square, and he fell, screaming, onto the floor below.

"What a fucking idiot. Oh well, ‘sall good, dawg. Now I can take all his things!" said Hiro slyly, that sly dog, starting forward.

"Um, who are you talking to?" interrupted the Pikadéx, its love for semantics and gramular correctivity overriding just about any other function in its primitive artificial intelligence.

Hiro halted suddenly, apparently lost for words, astonished that anyone would dare interrupt his battle. He seemed to be lost in thought for a few seconds before replying, "Shut up, you stupid moth."

"Oh, come on, man. Why you gotta be like that?" wailed the Pikadéx expositorally.

[A Grilled Fish]

The last installment of The MisAdventures of Hiro is controversially explicit while softly descriptive; the quintessential birds transcend water's reality by misinterpreting the false maturity of flammability.

>_>

<_<

O_o

[mr_pikachu]

I'm sorry to hear that you're discontinuing this, Jimm, but I can understand your reasons. I hope you continue to write, though.

This fic's been great while it lasted. I hope you'll post more of them here in the future.