arrrgh dammit ok oz andrew u win i'll post the 1st chapter here...

[MikeNBulbasaur]

...but no more i have my own site to run u no
Episode 1: POKéMON! I choose you!
Story 1: POKéMON! I choose you!
I am Mike Sato a soon to be POKéMON Master tomorrow I start my POKéMON Journey. I'm not the only one though...
Ash Ketchum, Gary Oak & Richie Peterson are also starting their journey tomorrow at Professor Samuel Oak's (Gary's Grandpa) Lab.
I'm on my way to the lab now *Knock, Knock, Knock* “Ah, Mike come in... You can choose Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, so, what do you want?” “Bulbasaur, Because it's a Dual type, Grass & Poison” I say proudly.
“Mike & Bulbasaur, Friends forever!” I say. “Is Bulbasaur the best name you can think of?” Richie asks. “Got a better suggestion?” I ask thoughtfully. “No. Just my Charmander's name is Zippo. I thought you might name your Bulbasaur as well.” Richie said. “Ok” I say. “I got Squirtle! It's the best!” Gary chimes in. “Shut up Gary!” we both say. Me, Richie & Ash didn't like Gary. I lived next door to Ash & I met Richie at school they were both good friends of mine, Actually Ash & Richie hadn't even met. I wonder if I'll meet up with the guys on my journey? Only one way to find out... “Let's go Bulbasaur!” I say. “C'mon Zippo” Says Richie. “I'll stay a little longer...” says Gary. I run off for route 1.....
Soon a car with Gary goes by. Soon I see a Pidgey it's too strong for Bulbasaur because Bulbasaur is weak against it though. I see a Sentret. *Sentret, the Scout POKéMON, This Normal type POKéMON is 2’7” & weighs 13 lbs. also this POKéMON is very cautious & wary of danger. It has an extremely useful tail that it uses for a host of different purposes. Eg. It will stand up on its tail to survey its surroundings. If it spots any oncoming danger, it will cry out loudly to warn the rest of its kind.* “Go Bulbasaur! Tackle it! Now Growl! What's that!? That's Not Growl!” Bulbasaur shot a seed at the Sentret “Alright, Bulbasaur learnt Leech seed!” “POKéBALL Go” The Sentret was sucked inside.... & Caught! “Yeah, I caught Sentret!” “Bulbasaur!” Bulbasaur said Happily.
Soon as I walked along I found a girl who was fishing. She reeled in a Goldeen “Go Staryu!” she said. Her Staryu & the Goldeen battled “Go Pokeball!” she caught the Goldeen.
“Good battle there” I said. “Thanks, I'm Misty Waterflower.” “I'm Mike Sato, Wanna battle?” “Ok, Staryu Go” “Go Sentret, Tackle it” “Staryu Water Gun!” “Sent.... ret” Wheezed Sentret “Your new at this aren't you? I didn't win my first Battles either train & you'll get better” “I guess... Bye Misty” “Ok, See you later” I walked off to think about my loss... “Aaaarrrggghhh, this is a tough one...” “Waaaaa” cried Ash Ketchum as he was pulled out of the river with his Pikachu. “Are you alright?” Misty asked “I'm Fine” “I was talking about the Pikachu stupid”....
I was about to walk into Viridian City when I saw a strange POKéMON in the sky...
I also noticed that it was gonna rain soon a thunder storm was coming. The only one who would like a thunder storm in my opinion would be a beached Lantern. I better find shelter...
I am now sitting in the POKéMON Centre during the storm a nice Police woman called Jenny gave me the directions to the Centre. I'm watching Bulbasaur juggle POKéBALLs it's pretty amusing.

there oz andrew better? please no more editing ok?
go to MY site to read more if you want to ok...

[Tainted]

Hmm...
Ok... we need a LOT of work on this one, no offense, but a decapitated mole (no pun intended to that TPM member) with hemmoroids could write something better than this, typing with his ***!
This is alright if its your first fic and your in the age range of 8-10 but anything older and you can shape this up... and it is needed... I'm only thirteen, so I'm one to talk, but meh...

I remember my first fic, when I was ten or so, it was around the caliber of this... Except it was slightly original... And used slightly differant things...

I suggest thinking of a brand new idea, it may take a lot of time, but think, think, think... When you get a totally unique idea that no one has done before, expand upon it, and soon you may have a masterpiece at your fingertips...
How do you think Ozzy got such a good idea for Electric Buggy?, he probably pulled an idea or two out of his ***, now you can do the same...

I think I'm done...
But keep trying! Never lose hope!

[Gavin Luper]

Before I begin, don't whinge about Oz Andrew. He is a moderator here and knows what he is doing and justifies his actions. Don't get all stroppy with the moderators unless you have good reason.

OK, firstly, if you want us to go to your website to read your fic, then put the link in your signature so that we can see it without you always advertising it.

Secondly, you CAN post chapters of a story in two places at once, and I think it would be beneficial for your writing if you continued posting here as well as your website. Your first chapter which you posted showed two things; (1) that your writing needs work, like any writer, and (2) that you CAN write.

Skullfire, to tell the truth you came across even to me as being mean to MikeNBulbasaur. It wasn't all justified or even called for.

Mike: OK, now how to improve this. Firstly, don't think that you suck just because this particular story isn't good. My first fic was so incredibly poor, but other TPMers told me what to do to make it better, so I'll pass their advice on to you.

1) Grammar and Spelling - You'd be best off to write your story in Microsoft Word. Use spellcheck a couple of times, and also read through it a couple of times to make sure it all flows off the tongue smoothly.

2) Length - the length of this is alright for a newbie's story, at this stage aiming for about 500 - 1000 words is not bad. Personally, I've never been fussed by length but reasonable length for more established writers on TPM ranges from anywhere between 2000 to 5000 words.

3) Pace - the story has to be able to be understood by those who are reading it. You'll be best off to slow the pace down a bit and not have it be so rushed and incomprehensive.

4) Description - Description is vital in having a good story. The reader HAS to be able to visualise everything that's happening, and description makes a story SO much more interesting. The thesaurus is your best friend when writing a story.

5) Dialogue - Remember to make your dialogue fresh and original. Your first chapter reveals that your dialogue is very wooden and stale, sounding so fake. Try to think AWAY from the anime.

6) Interest - Remember that the story you are writing has to be interesting for people to keep reading it. Nobody wants to hear about Ash, Gary Ritchie and someone else all going on a journey. It has been done so many times.

The best way for you to develop your skills in these areas is to read a lot of the other stories and pick up on how they use these aspects of writing. I recommend Lapras Valley High, by Mist, Electric Buggy to Victory, by Oz Andrew himself, and (not to sound egotistical!!) Lisa the Legend, by myself.

Cheers!

- Gavin Luper.

[Count von Dark]

I heavily agree with the best critic of all time, Gavin! (his criticism sound more like sage advice and hell you can bet it is) And to add a few excellent fanfics - most of all, considered best in description, the glorious GLR!! Also there is TAL, and even PADS will do. Go ahead, follow the footsteps of these bold knights!

[Gavin Luper]

Thanks, Count Von Dark, I missed those ones out ... I know TAL and GLR are excellent, but I've never read PADS before.

Come on, MikeNBulbasaur, post the next chapter, we'd like to help you out with your writing! If your heart is really in your writing, you'll be an excellent writer in no time!

[Andrew]

Well dude, just letting you know I'm here to enforce the rules and all, and so you've really just got to follow them. I think I explained it all Here (http://www.pokemasters.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6972)

And I only edited your post because it had the external link in it. But I think what I can say here is that its cliched and I won't steal the helpful thunder of Skullfire, Gavin Luper or Count Von Dark so basically take what they said on board.

But just because I closed your external link down, don't be disheartened, keep writing and posting!

[Chris 2.1]

I can't say too many things of relevence here, because GL said a lot of them.

One thing: when a new person speaks, start a new paragraph:

I'm on my way to the lab now *Knock, Knock, Knock* “Ah, Mike come in... You can choose Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, so, what do you want?” “Bulbasaur, Because it's a Dual type, Grass & Poison” I say proudly.

this should be changed to this:

I'm on my way to the lab now.

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

“Ah, Mike come in... You can choose Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, so, what do you want?” The Professor asked*

“Bulbasaur, Because it's a Dual type: Grass & Poison” I said** proudly.

*=Always explain who said what. we're all familliar with this setting so we know it is Professor Oak. However, if you forget to do this, new fics you do will become complicated and messy.

**= i changed say to said because this is in the 1st person narrative; being told through the eyes of the trainer. Therefore, everything HAS to be in the past tense. Say is present, because you would be saying it. Said is past, because it has already been done.

[MikeNBulbasaur]

im sory oz andrew but i was a little grumpy because i posted this right after i saw your edit i think it was the "Nuh uh, I'm Mr No External Linky Mod Today" that made me mad & i should have read the rules before i posted im sorry but ill post the 2nd chapter

Episode 2: POKéMON Emergency
Story 2: Rocket Launch!
The storm is over I'm going to the Poké-Mart to get stuff for my POKéMON & me.
Now I've finished my shopping so I'm going back to the POKéMON Centre *BOOM* or maybe not...
Then 2 people arrived in a Mankey Balloon...
“Prepare for Trouble” “Make it Double”
“Us Rockets will start a Infestation” “And we'll sweep through every nation”
“To wear our shoes & shirts & gloves” “Will give us the power to give you a shove”
“Jimmy” “Jane”
“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound” “We'll annihilate you into the ground”
“Mankey, I'm round!”
“Team.... Rocket???” I ask
“We are a group of thieves who steal rare & valuable POKéMON” Explained Jimmy. “& Babasause are rare!” Said Mankey.
“Babasause???” I ask. “Mankey needs speech lessons, he means Bulbasaur.” Jane explains. “Oh yeah? if you want Bulbasaur your gonna have to beat me first!” I say.
“Go, Grimer" Says Jimmy. "Go Sandshrew" Says Jane.
“Go Bulbasaur, Vine Whip the Sandshrew!” I command. Sandshrew was instantly defeated. Now I had to take care of Grimer. “Bulbasaur, Leech Seed, Then Tackle!” “Griiiii... Mer” Grimer groans as it slips out of consciousness.
“Bulbasaur catch!” Bulbasaur used the two items I threw to him. Two TMs, Johto TM 11 & TM 22 (I have tones of TMs, Johto & Kanto ones & the few universal ones eg. TM 28: Dig & TM 32: Double Team) Bulbasaur used them “Now Sunny Day!” For some reason it worked in the middle of the night but that’s not the point. “Now Solar Beam!” “Looks like Team Rocket’s Blasting off!!!”
“That Babasause is not only rare... It’s valuable” Mankey Says. “We must get it” says Jane. “Wait ‘til next time Twerp” says Jimmy.
I am entering the wreckage of the POKéMON Centre “Hello?” I ask “Yes, oh hello Mike” Nurse Joy greets me “I saw the Centre explode & I wondered what happened.” I say. “Well Team Rocket Attacked” “I know those 3” I say not knowing she meant other agents “Well a boy named Ash Ketchum nailed them with his POKéMON & the Centre Blew-up” “I know Ash, I used to be his next door neighbour. So what was his POKéMON that blew-up the Centre? ” I ask. “A Pikachu, It was the only POKéMON he had & his friend Misty Waterflower stalled for him while Pikachu was recovering from a Spearow attack” The nurse replied. “That’s my Ash... a Spearow attack... He always was able to get him self in trouble. Oh & did you say Misty Waterflower?” I ask. “Yes, why?” “Oh, I met her earlier, well I gotta go I gotta keep up with the others. Bye.” I say “Bye.” replies the nurse.

[Tainted]

Sadly, your not taking peoples advice...
Your writing hasn't improved AT ALL!...
Oh well, this would be amazing if it were a parody of people writing loser-ish fics, but nah, its not... so meh... its alright as it is...

What I found amusing was "Babasause" was what I used to say as a baby, which was tomato sauce, cuz my Baba (Ukranian Grandmother) used to always make us tomato sauce and stuff to bring home whenever we visited her...
Babasause!

[MikeNBulbasaur]

hey i didnt get a chance to edit ive got 12 of theses stories in stock & originally they were for my eyes only i put them on my site because my friend Matthew Edwards told me to due to talkin to my friends at school about it so i decided to post some here so u knew about my site ok i may edit one day ill add another chapter anyhoo & please skullfire dont be so criticisive (is that a word) & i aint got the time to edit my stories now ok so plz dont go complaining if u dont like it ok

Episode 3: Ash catches a POKéMON
Story 3: The travelling trio
When I get to the Viridian Gym in the morning It’s closed for a month “Well Bulbasaur we can come back later...” “Hi” says a boy with a Jigglypuff. “Hey I’m Mike Sato, who are you?” “I’m Matt Edwards, I came to get a earth Badge... But the Gym’s closed, I’ve already got 7 Badges.” Matt replied. “Cool! would you like to travel with me?” I say. “Sure” says Matt.
I’ll ring home with POKéGEAR I type in the number “Hello?” #Hi, Mike!# “Hi Lil. What’s goin on there?” #Well, Zeath evolved into Arcanine# “Cool he must have dug up Fire Stone or somethin, huh?” #Yeah & Asia & Rogette came over# “Cool I gotta go I’m about to go into the Viridian Forest, see ya” #Ok bye & Mrs Ketchum said if you see Ash tell him to change his underwear every day# “Ok I will” *Beep* “C’mon, Matt lets go!” “Sure.”
In the forest I see someone I know with a Charmander. “Look at that skill battling the Pikachu....” Matt says. “It’s my cousin Karla, hey Karla!” “POKéBALL go, huh?” she says as she turns her head “good on ya Karla, you sure caught that Pikachu!” “yeah, I guess, Who’s that?” she asks “Oh this is Matthew Edwards a friend of mine, Matt this is Karla, my cousin she’s been training for a few years” I introduce. “I’ve got 15 badges, I‘ve entered the league the last three years” says Karla.
“Prepare for Trouble” “Make it Double” Said two figures in a Mankey Balloon.
“Us Rockets will start a Infestation” “And we'll sweep through every nation”
“To wear our shoes & shirts & gloves” “Will give us the power to give you a shove”
“Jimmy” “Jane”
“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound” “We'll annihilate you into the ground”
“Mankey, I'm round!”
“Not you again?” I ask. “It’s us now give us Bulbasaur” says Jane.
“No way, Go...” “Mike let me help” says Karla “Ok, Go Bulbasaur” “Go Starmie” “Go Grimer” “Go Sandshrew” “Vine Whip, Bulbasaur” “Psychic, Starmie” “Sand!!!” “Gri!!” “Shrew...” “Mer...” “Bulbasaur, Solar Beam” “Bullllllll...baaaaaaa...SAUR!!!” “Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!” “Impressive are any of you the third Trainer of Pallet?” asked a stranger. “I am I think... who are you?” I ask. “I am Samurai I want to battle, go Metapod!” “Go Sentret” “Sentreeeeeeet!!!” “Tackle It” “Sent!!!” “Pod!!!” “Take that!” “Return Metapod, Go Pinsir, Vicegrip” “Sent!! Ret...” “Bulbasaur, your turn!” “Saur” “Vine Whip” Pinsir got all tangled in the vines “Now Solar Beam!” “Saur!” “Sir...” “You are a truly worthy trainer I must leave farewell” Samurai says. “Ok, see ya” I say. “Wee” “Huh?... A Weedle I want it!!! POKéBALL go!!! ” “Dle” it cries as its caught. I use it in a battle against another trainer & his Caterpie & won. “Wee....Kuna” “It evolved! wow your incredible Kakuna!” “Kuna” “Ok, return Kakuna” I say.

there all main characters are introduced
Next time: I go against Brock for the Boulderbadge tune in next time for: Episode 4: Challenge of the Samurai
Story 4: Showdown In Pewter City

[Gavin Luper]

You really need to take the advice of people who reply here, MikeNBulbasaur.

Shiny Marill's advice on a new paragraph for each new speaker is a good one, obey it! It's good advice. However, although past tense in a first person narrative may be easier, it's not absolutely necessary, ShinyMarill. It's perfectly fine to have a present tense story.

Now, Mike, edit edit edit!! It's best if you start off editing only a bit, then try to improve your writing.

For example, I'll start with your second chapter.

----------------------------

Instead of:

The storm is over I'm going to the Poké-Mart to get stuff for my POKéMON & me.
Now I've finished my shopping so I'm going back to the POKéMON Centre *BOOM* or maybe not...
Then 2 people arrived in a Mankey Balloon...
“Prepare for Trouble” “Make it Double”
“Us Rockets will start a Infestation” “And we'll sweep through every nation”
“To wear our shoes & shirts & gloves” “Will give us the power to give you a shove”
“Jimmy” “Jane”
“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound” “We'll annihilate you into the ground”
“Mankey, I'm round!”
“Team.... Rocket???” I ask
“We are a group of thieves who steal rare & valuable POKéMON” Explained Jimmy. “& Babasause are rare!” Said Mankey.
“Babasause???” I ask. “Mankey needs speech lessons, he means Bulbasaur.” Jane explains. “Oh yeah? if you want Bulbasaur your gonna have to beat me first!” I say.
“Go, Grimer" Says Jimmy. "Go Sandshrew" Says Jane.
“Go Bulbasaur, Vine Whip the Sandshrew!” I command. Sandshrew was instantly defeated. Now I had to take care of Grimer. “Bulbasaur, Leech Seed, Then Tackle!” “Griiiii... Mer” Grimer groans as it slips out of consciousness.

Try this:

The storm is over, and I'm going to the Poké-Mart to get stuff for my Pokemon and me.

Now I've finished my shopping, so I'm going back to the Pokemon Centre ...

BOOM!

Or maybe not ...

Suddenly, two people arrived in a Mankey Hot Air Balloon.

“Prepare for Trouble,” cried one person.

“Make it Double,” called the other.

“Us Rockets will start a Infestation.”

“And we'll sweep through every nation.”

“To wear our shoes and shirts and gloves.”

“Will give us the power to give you a shove.”

“Jimmy,” cried the man.

“Jane,” cried the woman.

“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound.”

“We'll annihilate you into the ground.”

“Mankey, I'm round!”

“Team ... Rocket?” I ask.

“We are a group of thieves who steal rare and valuable pokemon," explained Jimmy.

"And Babasause are RARE!" added Mankey.

“Babasause?” I ask.

“Mankey needs speech lessons, he means Bulbasaur.” Jane explains.

“Oh yeah? If you want Bulbasaur your gonna have to beat me first!” I say.

“Go, Grimer" Says Jimmy.

"Go Sandshrew" Says Jane.

“Go Bulbasaur, Vine Whip the Sandshrew!” I command.

Sandshrew was instantly defeated. Now I had to take care of Grimer. “Bulbasaur, Leech Seed, Then Tackle!”

“Griiiii... Mer” Grimer groans as it slips out of consciousness.

----------------------

Sorry if this post is really long but I really want to get my point across. That was just adding in better paragraphing. If you read my first post, and try to follow along those lines, you'll be alright. To show you the kind of thing to aim for, I'll attempt your second chapter (if you don't mind, I can edit it out if you do).

---------------------

Episode 2: Pokemon Emergency.

Story 2: Rocket Launch!

Now that the storm is over, I'm heading for the Poke-Mart, where I can buy some items for my Pokemon and me.

After I buy a few potions, I decide to go back to the Pokemon Centre. It's a short walk, so it should only take a minute or two.

BOOM!

Maybe not ... there is an earsplitting explosion and a massive hot air balloon in the shape of a Mankey comes floating down, with two people in it. One is a girl and the other a boy. As the balloon lands, they shout out a proclamation:

“Prepare for Trouble.”

“Make it Double”

“Us Rockets will start a Infestation”

“And we'll sweep through every nation”

“To wear our shoes & shirts & gloves”

“Will give us the power to give you a shove”

“Jimmy”

“Jane”

“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound”

“We'll annihilate you into the ground”

“Mankey, I'm round!” cries a real Mankey, leaping out from behind the two people. Jimmy and jane jump out of the balloon and stalk towards me.

“Team.... Rocket?” I ask.

“We are a group of thieves who steal rare and valuable pokemon,” explains Jimmy.

“And Babasause are rare!” Said Mankey.

“Babasause?” I ask.

“Mankey needs speech lessons, he means Bulbasaur.” Jane corrects.

“Oh yeah? if you want Bulbasaur your gonna have to beat me first!” I say, determined. I have to win this battle to protect my Bulbasaur.

---------------

See?

Good luck, try that out.

[Mewfour]

Originally posted by MikeNBulbasaur
please skullfire dont be so criticisive (is that a word) & i aint got the time to edit my stories now ok so plz dont go complaining if u dont like it ok

*sigh* Weak are the arrogant...

First thing: If you ain;t got the time, don't do the rhyme. Put a whole-assed effort into fics.

Second thing: If you don't want criticism, then why did you post here?

Third thing: Criticism is not nessecarily a bad thing.

Fourth thing: No, "criticisive" is not a word.

Fifth thing: Now I'm gonna' go back to watching WWE Raw....

[Chris 2.1]

Originally posted by Gavin Luper

Shiny Marill's advice on a new paragraph for each new speaker is a good one, obey it! It's good advice. However, although past tense in a first person narrative may be easier, it's not absolutely necessary, ShinyMarill. It's perfectly fine to have a present tense story.

Oh, i didn't mean (or try to imply) for a second that a present tense story isn't Ok; i was trying to advise a past tense story if this is MikenBulbasaur's first fic. The thing is, and you'll agree, present tense fics are very hard to do, the main reason being that it is hard to make each sentence different. One's that don't begin with 'I am opening the door' or 'I am walking through the wood' tend to have 'shaking, i am walking through the wood' and it sounds rather strange, IMO.

[Tainted]

Thank you, my dearest of friends, Mewfour... err...

I never thought that Shiny Marill was saying that stories in the present tense are 'wrong' and 'cannot be done' but its really hard to do so... To pull off a good one, that is...
It's just that if you switching tenses in the middle of writing it gets extremely confusing!

Alrite... ...

[Gavin Luper]

Oops! Sorry Shiny Marill I misinterpreted what you said!! You're right, a present tense fic is harder than a past tense one. I agree.

Keep this going, Mike!

[Chris 2.1]

its alright Gavin. Now i can safely say the most skilled even make mistakes...:)

[MikeNBulbasaur]

update time edited versions of the story I would have gone further but i want to study Samurai's character so...

Episode 1: POKéMON! I choose you!
Story 1: POKéMON! I choose you!
I am Mike Sato a soon to be POKéMON Master tomorrow I start my POKéMON Journey. I'm not the only one though...
Ash Ketchum, Gary Oak & Richie Peterson are also starting their journey at Professor Samuel Oak's (Gary's Grandpa) Lab the same day as me.
The next day when I got to the lab I knocked on the door *Knock, Knock, Knock* “Ah, Mike come in... You can choose Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, so, what do you want?” Oak said when he answered the door. “Bulbasaur, Because it's a Dual type, Grass & Poison” I said proudly.
“Mike & Bulbasaur, Friends forever!” I continued on. “Is Bulbasaur the best name you can think of?” Richie asked me. “Got a better suggestion?” I asked thoughtfully. “No. Just my Charmander's name is Zippo. I thought you might name your Bulbasaur as well.” Richie said. “Ok” I replied. “I got Squirtle! It's the best!” Gary chimed in. “Shut up Gary!” we both told him. Me & the other two didn't like Gary. I lived next door to Ash & I met Richie at school they were both good friends of mine, Actually Ash & Richie hadn't even met. I wonder if I'll meet up with the guys on my journey? Only one way to find out... “Let's go Bulbasaur!” I said excitedly. “C'mon Zippo” Said Richie just as enthusiastic. “I'll stay a little longer...” says Gary smugly. Then I ran off for route 1.....
Soon after a car passed by “Was that Gary?” I asked myself. Not too long afterwards I saw a Pidgey but it was too strong for Bulbasaur because Bulbasaur is weak against Flying-Type POKéMON though. Shortly after I saw a Sentret. *Sentret, the Scout POKéMON, This Normal type POKéMON is 2’7” & weighs 13 lbs. also this POKéMON is very cautious & wary of danger. It has an extremely useful tail that it uses for a host of different purposes. Eg. It will stand up on its tail to survey its surroundings. If it spots any oncoming danger, it will cry out loudly to warn the rest of its kind.* explained my POKéDEX. “Go Bulbasaur! Tackle it! Now Growl! What's that!? That's Not Growl!” I said. Bulbasaur shot a seed at the Sentret “Alright, Bulbasaur learnt Leech seed! Now POKéBALL Go” I cried. The Sentret was sucked inside.... & Caught! “Yeah, I caught Sentret!” I yelled “Bulbasaur!” Bulbasaur said Happily.
Soon as I walked along that day I found a girl who was fishing. She reeled in a Goldeen “Go Staryu!” she said. Her Staryu & the Goldeen battled “Go Pokeball!” she caught the Goldeen.
“Good battle there” I told her. “Thanks, my names Misty Waterflower.” said the girl “I'm Mike Sato of Pallet, Wanna battle?” I ask. “Ok, Staryu Go” Commands Misty. “Go Sentret, Tackle it” I said. “Staryu Water Gun!” she commanded. “Sent.... ret” Wheezed Sentret “Your new at this aren't you? I didn't win my first Battles either train & you'll get better” she told me. “I guess... Bye Misty” I groaned. “Ok, See you later” she replied. I walked off to think about my loss...
I was about to walk into Viridian City when I saw a strange POKéMON in the sky...
I also noticed that it was gonna rain a thunder storm was coming. The only one who would like a thunder storm in my opinion would be a beached Lantern. I went off to find shelter...
Later I reached the POKéMON Centre during the storm, a nice Police woman called Jenny told me where to go once I got to town. I was watching Bulbasaur juggle POKéBALLs it was pretty amusing.
Episode 2: POKéMON Emergency
Story 2: Rocket Launch!
The storm was over & I was going to the Poké-Mart to get food & items for my POKéMON & me.
Once I finished my shopping I was going back to the POKéMON Centre *BOOM* or maybe I wasn’t...
Then 2 people arrived in a Mankey Balloon...
“Prepare for Trouble” “Make it Double”
“Us Rockets will start a Infestation” “And we'll sweep through every nation”
“To wear our shoes & shirts & gloves” “Will give us the power to give you a shove”
“Jimmy” “Jane”
“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound” “We'll annihilate you into the ground”
“Mankey, I'm round!”
“Team.... Rocket???” I ask
“We are a group of thieves who steal rare & valuable POKéMON” Explained Jimmy. “& Babasause are rare!” Said Mankey.
“Babasause???” I asked. “Mankey needs speech lessons, he means Bulbasaur.” Jane explained. “Oh yeah? if you want THIS Bulbasaur your gonna have to beat me first!” I said determined to defend my little green dog-like creature.
“Go, Grimer" Said Jimmy. "Go Sandshrew" Said Jane.
“Go Bulbasaur, Vine Whip the Sandshrew!” I commanded. The Sandshrew was instantly defeated. Now I had to take care of the Grimer. “Bulbasaur, Leech Seed, Then Tackle!” I yelled. “Griiiii... Mer” The Grimer groaned as it slipped out of consciousness.
“Bulbasaur catch!” Bulbasaur used the two items I threw to him. Two TMs, Johto TM 11 & TM 22 (I have tones of TMs, Johto & Kanto & even some Houten ones & the few universal ones eg. TM 28: Dig & TM 32: Double Team) Bulbasaur used them “Now Sunny Day!” For some reason it worked in the middle of the night but that’s not the point. “Now Solar Beam!” I commanded. “Looks like Team Rocket’s Blasting off!!!” cried the trio of Rockets.
“That Babasause is not only rare... It’s valuable” Mankey Said. “We must get it” agreed Jane. “Wait ‘til next time Twerp” vowed Jimmy.
As I entered the wreckage of the POKéMON Centre “Hello?” I ask “Yes, oh hello Mike” Nurse Joy greeted me “I saw the Centre explode & I wondered what happened.” I asked the Nurse. “Well Team Rocket Attacked” she explained. “I know those 3” I said not knowing she meant other agents “Well a boy named Ash Ketchum nailed them with his POKéMON & the Centre Blew-up” she told me. “I know Ash, I used to be his next door neighbour. So what was his POKéMON that blew-up the Centre? ” I asked knowing that Bulbasaur, Charmander & Squirtle. “A Pikachu, It was the only POKéMON he had & his friend Misty Waterflower stalled for him while Pikachu was recovering from a Spearow attack” The nurse replied. “That’s my Ash... a Spearow attack... He always was able to get him self in trouble. Oh & did you say Misty Waterflower?” I asked. “Yes, why?” asked Joy. “Oh, that’s interesting I met her earlier, well I gotta go I gotta keep up with the others. Bye.” I said “Bye.” replied the nurse.
Episode 3: Ash catches a POKéMON
Story 3: The travelling trio
When I managed to get to the Viridian Gym in the morning It was closed for maintenance. “Well Bulbasaur we can come back later...” “Hi” said a boy with a Jigglypuff. “Hey I’m Mike Sato, & you are?...” I introduced “I’m Matthew Edwards, I came to get myself an Earth Badge... But the Gym’s closed, I’ve already got 7 Badges.” The boy replied. “Cool! would you like to travel with me?” I asked. “Sure” says Matt.
I rang home with POKéGEAR *7255388696* “Hello?” I asked #Hi, Mike!# I heard my sisters voice say “Hi Lil. What’s goin on there?” I asked #Well, Zeath evolved into Arcanine# “Cool, I toldya I found a Fire Stone in the garden, huh?” #Yeah & Asia & Rogette came over# “Cool I gotta go I’m about to go into the Viridian Forest, see ya” I say #Ok bye & Mrs Ketchum said if you see Ash tell him to change his underwear every day# “Ok I will” I groaned. *Beep* “C’mon, Matt lets go!” I said exitedly “Ok...” he replied
In the forest I see a familiar face with a Charmander. “Look at that skill battling the Pikachu....” Matt says. “It’s my cousin Karla, hey Karla!” I called “POKéBALL go, huh?” she said as she turned her head “good on ya Karla, you sure caught that Pikachu!” I said “yeah, I guess, Who’s that?” she asked me “Oh this is Matthew Edwards a friend of mine, Matt this is Karla, my cousin she’s been training for a few years” I say as I introduce them. “I’ve got 15 badges, I‘ve entered the league the last three years” said Karla.
“Prepare for Trouble” “Make it Double” Said two figures in a Mankey Balloon.
“Us Rockets will start a Infestation” “And we'll sweep through every nation”
“To wear our shoes & shirts & gloves” “Will give us the power to give you a shove”
“Jimmy” “Jane”
“Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of sound” “We'll annihilate you into the ground”
“Mankey, I'm round!”
“Not you again?” I asked. “It’s us now give us that Bulbasaur” said Jane.
“Make me!...” I say aggressively “Mike let me help” says Karla “Ok, Go Bulbasaur” I yell, “Go Starmie” Karla says & the Rockets then choose their POKéMON. “Vine Whip, Bulbasaur” I yell. “Psychic, Starmie” Calls Karla. “Sand!!!” “Gri!!” “Shrew...” “Mer...” the Rockets POKéMON faint. “Bulbasaur, Solar Beam!” I give the final command. “Bullllllll...baaaaaaa...SAUR!!!” It yells. “Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!” cried the Rockets. “Impressive are any of you the third Trainer of Pallet?” asked a stranger. “I am I think... who are you?” I asked.


there i edited all that! now ill edit more after i see challenge of the samurai again now where the hells that tape...

[MikeNBulbasaur]

hey what happened to all the people who used to reply? :confused: are they so bad u just ran away??? :( im so sad im even starting to miss skullfire a bit... :o :(

[pokemasterfrank]

I think it's the fact that you've pretty much taken little to none of the advice the others have given you.

[MikeNBulbasaur]

man that was my best effort that editation :( man i really suck at this dont i? :confused: :yes: :(

[Mewfour]

Oh, for anyone, it's possible alright. It's all just a matter of knuckling down and putting your whole damn effort into it.