Jon:Idol Quest

[Jon UKX]

Coming in the New Year is Jon:Idol Quest which is about a boy called Jon who sets off to become a Pokemon Idol like his idol Diego of the Houen Elite 4.

[Jon UKX]

I know I said this would come in the new year but it is Christmas day in a couple of hours so I give you Jon UKX's new fic:

Jon:Idol Quest

Prologue:

A young boy sat watching the Championships of the Makito 4 on T.V and it was a tournament that he would remember always.
it was Mimi the fire elite versus Diego, the contender who had managed to beat all the Elite and was now battling the second to last elite.
Both were allowed to use three Pokemon each and the person who had one Pokemon left would go to fight the champion and if they beat the champion they would become the new Leader of the Makito 4.
“Go Houndoom!” screamed Mimi and a black wolf with horns appeared with a mean look on its face.
“Go PoliWhirl!” shouted Diego and a big blue tadpole with a swirl on its belly came out of Diego’s pokeball.
“Let see if you can stop this, Houndoom use a flamethrower attack!”
A blast of fire flew out of Houndoom’s mouth and Poliwhirl looked really worried.
“Stop it, Hydro pump!” yelled Diego worried.
A stream of water blasted out of Poliwhirl’s mouth and it just hit Houndoom who when hit fainted instantly.
“Good Rookie, Return Houndoom!” screamed Mimi and Houndoom was beamed back to its pokeball.
She then threw another Pokeball and a Magmar came out of it.
“Prepare for this, Fire Blast!” bellowed Mimi
A star shaped fire blasted out of Magmar mouth but Poliwhirl was hit but it was o.k.
“Poliwhirl, use bubblebeam!” screamed Diego with full steam.
Poliwhirl swirl started glowing then a trail of bubbles flew out of his belly but as he fired the bubblebeam Magmar used a fire blast again and subsided the bubbles back to Poliwhirl and KO’ed it.
“Damn, Return Poliwhirl” said Diego in frustation.
“Come on Machoke” screamed Diego and a Machoke flew out of his Pokeball.
“What a jerk, fire punch” commanded Mimi,
Magmar ran toward with a flaming fist ready to knock out Machoke but Machoke simply dodged the attack as if it hadn’t of been attacked.
“Machoke, use a Triple Kick!”yelled Diego.
Machoke ran toward Magmar and started to kick Magmar three times and by the third kick Magmar had fainted.
“Ok kid prepare for a roasting, Go Charizard!” screamed Mimi who was now mad.
Mimi, now with her Charizard commanded:
“Use a slash attack!”
Charizard flew toward Machoke and slashed it with her claws, Machoke was now really weak.
“Machoke, use a Mega punch!” screamed Diego and although it managed to hit Charizard it was far too weak to battle on so Diego returned it.
“Ok Mimi, Go Raiburto!” screamed Diego and a Raiburoto flew out of its Fast ball.
“Raiburoto, use thunder!” yelled Diego
a bolt of lightning flew out Raiburoto’s body and shocked Charizard, after the shocking Charizard looked at Mimi then fainted.

“Diego wins!” screamed the announcer and Diego shook hands with Mimi and ran off to see the champion Gav.
Gav told Diego that this would be a 2V2 battle and he sent out Dragonite and Boomanda.
Diego sent out his Bashamo and Kecleon who were rearing to go.
Gav decided that a double Hyper Beam would faint both the opponents so he screamed:
“hyper beam both of you!”
Diego knew how to counter this so he yelled:
“Bashamo flamethrower, Kecleon Psybeam!”
With the combined power of the purple beam and the flame, they managed to push the beams back and it hit Boomanda and Dragonite and made them faint.
Suddenly there was an eruption of cheer as they annouced that Diego was now the new champion and leader of the Makito 4, Gav gave Diego the Pokeball trophy and his picture was placed in the Hall of Fame.


“Jon had a determined gleam in his eye as he told his father:
“I want to be a great master like Diego daddy!”
his dad replied:
“Maybe you will my son, maybe you will”
and from that day Jon idolised Diego and he knew that he might be an idol just like Diego.

[Heavenly Sage HLSOE]

This is Houen, isn't it? There are some descritpion problems like

Quoted from Jon UKX------------------
A star shaped fire blasted out of Magmar mouth but Poliwhirl was hit but it was o.k.

I mean, it is too normal isn't it, sounds too silly, try


Flames grew in Magmar's mouth and aimed for Poliwhirl, who niftly evaded it.


Same meaning but readers will like it more, I mean it sounds chilish isn't it, a fire hit Poliwhirl but it was ok. There are a lot of places where description is needed, more of it, it won't hurt. :) I'll be looking at this, a new league seems interesting.

[Jon UKX]

Chapter I:

It was the morning of the day when Jon would start his journey, it would be also the morning when Jon would pick his first Pokemon.
Jon had awake since dawn and his bag had packed the night before and was looking through his Pokenavi then after all the excitement he ran down the stairs.
His mum was already downstair watching Mary Morning and as he grabbed a Nutri-Grain his mum went up to him and kissed him and said:
“Good Luck Jon, and remember don’t be discourage if you lose a battle and also..”
“yeah mum I know” replied Jon and he ran out of the house and ran back to shut the door.

He ran to the lab of Proffeser Nowg and saw his rival Andy walking casualy as usual and he stopped and shouted:
“Hey Diego worshipper, going to get your first Pokemon. So am I, so what do want?”
“Dunno, I can’t decide at the moment what about you?” replied Jon with a bored tone as Andy did this all the time and he knew which one he was going to pick.
“I’m going to pick Treeko which superior compared to Mudkip or Torchic, however there is gong to six Pokemon there so I may change my mind but it seems unlikely”
Jon decided to follow Andy to the lab where Proffeser Nowg was waiting.
“Mornin’ boys, are you here for your first pokemon?” said Nowg.
“Yes” replied Andy and Jon in unison.
“Good, come straight away” replied Nowg who was jogging into his lab happily as he was an active person.
The lab was not big but it was big enough to fit a storage centre, it had a piece of land at the back where the stored Pokemon could roam around and keep active and it had a room where the six starters were kept.
Nowg brought the boys to the starters were kept and he tapped the pokeballs gently and all six starters came out.
The starters were Treeko the tree gecko,Torchic the fire bird,Mudkip the mudskipper,Eneko the cat,Kecleon the chameleon and Azurill the baby mouse.
Andy grabbed Treeko’s pokeball and called it back and shouted:
“This one is mine!”
Andy ran out of the lab happily after getting his Pokedex and 6 pokeballs.
Now it was Jon’s turn, He didn’t like Torchic,he liked Eneko but he thought it looked too cute and Kecleon and Azurill were not right for him, when he stroked Mudkip it looked at him as if he liked him so he grabbed Mudkip pokeball and returned it and said to Nowg:
“Mudkip is mine Prof!”
After the proffeser gave him his Pokedex and 5 pokeballs he set off to Tukee town and so begun his Idol Quest.

Walking on the path, Jon was looking for pokemon to catch, suddenly a Jigzaguma a jumped out of a bush and Jon instantly got a pokeball out.
"Good luck" Jon whispered to the Pokeball. His heart was pounding and sending vibrations all down his arm; he thought he might drop the ball. He'd seen people catch Pokemon before; there was no nack to it. He brought his withdrawn arm forward and released the ball. It flew towards Jiguzaguma, who was gnawing on a tree root.

Jiguzaguma looked up as he was smacked in the head by the Pokeball. Jon's mind echoed with the cry Jiguzaguma gave off as he became injured, and Jon couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

He was sucked inside the ball and the ball thumped against the ground. Each wobble was soon followed by a lot of powerhouse thumps from Jon's heart. He held his hand over his heart, hoping he could stop the massive thumping. The ball was about to ping; he knew inside himself it would, but it wobbled a fourth time and burst open, revealling the little racoon. Jon cursed as the Jiguzaguma scuttled away.
He decided to release Mudkip so he could help Jon and as they looked around the forest and Jon got really bored and decided to kick a rock to get rid of his frustration as he kicked the rock he saw a Pokemon and the rock it and snarled at him.
Jon got out his pokedex and checked what is was:

Pochena the wolf pokemon, it is very aggressive and if provoked in any way it will attack humans as well as pokemon

Jon glupped as he saw the Pochena running toward him snarling and it was about to attack Jon until it was tackled by Mudkip who then squirted a stream of water and it made Pochena fall into a river.
Jon returned Mudkip to its pokeball and continued to venture into the forest.
As Jon walked the forest path he heard a howling noise and when he turned around he saw a pack of Pochena ready to attack as an act of revenge for hurting one of the pack.
Jon knew he was now in deep trouble and he started to run as fast as he possibly could.

sorry its a bit short but the next few chapters will be longer
and if anyone would to comment please do

[Chris 2.1]

its alright. interesting to see how it goes because we havent really got many advance fics here. Description needs touched up and, even though my fic has them, try and keep Pokedexes out. They're oh so tacky...but i dont mind really; i'm in the minority.

[Ho-oh2001]

I can't be certain, but it looks like you're pressing enter after every line. That makes your paragraphs look a little sloppy. For example, this...

Walking on the path, Jon was looking for pokemon to catch, suddenly a Jigzaguma appearance jumped out
And Jon instantly threw a pokeball at it.
Jon thought he had caught his first Pokemon suddenly it broke free and left Jon dissapointed.
He decided to release Mudkio so he could help Jon and as they looked around the forest and Jon got really bored and decided to kick a rock to get rid of his frustration.

should be written like this...

Walking on the path, Jon was looking for pokemon to catch, suddenly a Jigzaguma appearance jumped out and Jon instantly threw a pokeball at it. Jon thought he had caught his first Pokemon suddenly it broke free and left Jon dissapointed. He decided to release Mudkio so he could help Jon and as they looked around the forest and Jon got really bored and decided to kick a rock to get rid of his frustration.

Also, I agree that a little more description is needed in your posts. Tell us a little more about what Jon is thinking, or why he does what he does, and so on. If you want, you can use Microsoft Word's thesaurus feature to find synonyms of a word so that your paragraphs are more varied and don't sound as repetitive. Heh, I'm a little skeptical about these types of Trainer fics because the whole "Im a kid, I have a rival, I want to become a master" thing has been done to death, but if you keep at it, I'm sure you can make me love this one. ^_^

[Chris 2.1]

About the catch; This is Jon's first ever capture . you need to emphasise how he feels when the ball hits Jiguzaguma and really explain what he goes through.

"Good luck" Jon whispered to the Pokeball. His heart was pounding and sending vibrations all down his arm; he thought he might drop the ball. He'd seen people catch Pokemon before; there was no nack to it. He brought his withdrawn arm forward and released the ball. It flew towards Jiguzaguma, who was gnawing on a tree root.

Jiguzaguma looked up as he was smacked in the head by the Pokeball. Jon's mind echoed with the cry Jiguzaguma gave off as he became injured, and Jon couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

He was sucked inside the ball and the ball thumped against the ground. Each wobble was soon followed by a lot of powerhouse thumps from Jon's heart. He held his hand over his heart, hoping he could stop the massive thumping. The ball was about to ping; he knew inside himself it would, but it wobbled a fourth time and burst open, revealling the little racoon. Jon cursed as the Jiguzaguma scuttled away.

[Jon UKX]

Jon ran as fast as his legs could carry him but it was just this thing he had with running that made him tired more easily than someone like Andy who was more agile than Jon by far,as Jon ran he got tired and as he approached a cave he stopped to rest but he saw the shadow of the pack and he didn’t stop to think and and started to run again.

Meanwhile nearby, a young girl with silky,smooth hair which was in a Ponyta tail and it was blue as a Suicune fur,gleaming eyes as green as a Oddish's leaf and skin as white as the milk of a Miltank was writing in her diary while her Eneko was combing her hair with its tail and her Mareep was eating grass as Mareep’s always did and as the girl was finishing the last sentence of her diary she heard a screaming sound:
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
it was Jon, the pack of Pochena was coming closer and so in a desperate attempt to escape them he climbed a tree and thought he was lucky,unfortunately the branch he was on snapped
and he had fell onto the girl who was the opposite side of the tree.
“YOU IDIOT!” yelled the girl and started strangling Jon in her rage.
“*Gah* get off me I’m sorry I fell on you” replied Jon who was struggling to get the girl’s hand off his neck.
The girl stopped strangling Jon and spoke to him:
“Sorry, I thought you fell on Eneko but I see you have just missed, what is your name anyway?”
“name is Jon Owng and what is your name?” said Jon still recovering from his strangling.
“My name is Jennifer Kins but you can call me Jen” replied Jen who was rather keen on this guy she had just met.
Jon explained that he had accidently kicked a rock at Pochena and as it was going to attack him, Mudkip tackled it, blasted a stream of water at it and made it fall into a river and as he was walking he heard the Pochena howling and as he turned around he saw a pack of Pochena who obviously are the Pochena who fell in the river pack and they want vendetta.
“Oh dear, my uncle who is a farmer has problems with Pochena and Guirana all the time as they attack his Mareep but luckily the Mareep always shock the Pochena to defend itself so I can help you get rid of the pack” said Jen who returned Eneko to its pokeball.

They searched for the pack and they were having no luck,suddenly Jon heard the howling which meant the pack was nearby and so he threw his pokeball and released Mudkip,Jen admired it for a couple of minutes until it saw a Pochena pouncing and going to attack and she commanded Mareep to use thundershock on Pochena.
Mareep started to glow and a bolts of lightning shot out of Mareep and shocked the Pochena and frazzled it.
“Alright Jen,but won’t that upset the pack” asked Jon who was very worried.
Jen looked around and saw Pochena surrounding them snarling and ready to attack.
“Oh crap, we doomed!” said Jen who was now full of fear as she hated Pochena.
Suddenly Jon stopped worrying and smiled he had an idea and thought to inself:
Jen has a Mareep who is an electric type and I have a Mudkip and water conducts electricity, then Jon spoke outloud:
“I’ve got a plan!”
He explained to Jen his plan and instantly she understood what he was on about, so Jon commanded to Mudkip:
“Mudkip,Water gun!”
A stream of water flew out Mudkip’s mouth and sprayed all the Pochenas surrounding and they all looked really mad and were about to attack until they heard Jen’s voice:
“Mareep Thundershock now!”
Electricity surrounded Mareep and she zaped all the Pochenas and made them faint as soon as the electricity went away.
“Alright Jen!” shouted Jon who returned Mudkip to its pokeball and gave Jen the high five after she had returned Mareep.
Jon and Jen set off to Tukee town so they could heal their Pokemon and register for the Makito League so that Jon could collect badges to enter the league.

[Chris 2.1]

well, i can't help but feel Jenifer and Jon haven't bonded enough to travel together. You need to add more to help Jen and Jon realise they can travel. We just see them fend off some Pochena together. The chapter was Ok, though.

[Jon UKX]

Jen has a more important role in later chapters and in chapter 4 she catches a Subame and she has a slight crush on Mak who comes in chapter 3.

[Chris 2.1]

i see. Thanks for clearing that up.

[Heavenly Sage HLSOE]

Sees like German to me, this fic :) . Anyway, this needs a lot of work done, you need to emphasise more on descriptions the fic, dude. But it is interesting, though it seems very trainerish to me :)

[Jon UKX]

What do you mean by more description Heavenly Sage HLSOE
Chapter 3 is going to posted later and it is quite a good chapter as it has an appearance of a certain group from Houen

[Heavenly Sage HLSOE]

On description, its like this

Quoted from JonUKX________________________________
"I wanna be a trainer like Diego daddy."

[b] How it could be written[b]
Jon had a determined gleam in his eye as he told his father, "I want to be a great master like Diego daddy." Go find out the difference yourself.

[Chris 2.1]

HSLOE is right; description is in dear need here. Oh, and when we advise something, don't just copy + Paste it onto the old chapter; you're not using your brain, just your mouse.

The image we get of Jen is she has blue hair that cascades down her back (almost like a waterfall embedded on her neck) and two sharp green blades of grass either side of her nose.

Try this:

The girl sat there and flickered her silky, smooth hair. It was a golden yellow colour and looked very well taken care of. Her Eneko used its throbbing tail to brush the hair playfully. The girl picked up the kitten and looked at it with her gleaming blue eyes.

[Jon UKX]

But Jen does have blue hair, I said she had hair like water which describe the colour and should of described that it was as curly as the waves of the sea.
Does that sound better? I think it does :)

[Jon UKX]

Sorry this is late but I was busy working on description and rough ideas for a new fic so here it is:

Chapter 3:

Jon and Jen arrived in Tukee Town after a long trek through the forest where they had defeated the Pochenas, it was late so they decided to stay at the P.C nearby,they healed their Pokemon, they
got something to eat for them and their pokemon at the snack bar and while they ate their B.L.T and soup they saw this guy with brown hair with a quiff, gleaming blue eyes and tanned skin drawing a Torchic while it was eating.
Jen went up to Nurse Joy and asked her in a sweet voice:
“Who is that guy, I kinda like him”
“That is Mak Saxin, son of The Daily Rapidash’s Ed Saxin, he helps his dad as a photographer but as a hobby he draws images in his sketch book".
Jen started to approaching Mak after she finished talking to Joy and she spoke to him:
“Hi , what are doing?”
“I’m drawing my Torchic so I have the different poses of Torchic on my Torchic page, I should be going to bed as I going to photograph the Kyamone and Pelliper mating and then you can help me write in my notebook about it, ok?”
“YES, I’ll help you anyway my name is Jen and yours?” said Jen in her hapiness.
“I’m Mak, who that guy you were with?” replied Mak who was thrilled he would be able to concentrate on his photos of the mating than write about it.
“That’s Jon,I met him when I was in the forest,he properpy be thrilled to see the mating” replied Jen in a casual voice.
When Jen told Jon about Mak he burst into laughter and when he finished he said:
“You fancy him Jen”
“No I don’t!” replied Jen in her fury that Jon knew she liked Mak.
“You fancy Mak ooooh, Mak and Jen sitting in a tr..”
His jeering was interupted by Jen smacking him in the face and then after a lot of hitting with her pillow she decided to go to her bed and write in her diary until quite late and collapsed onto her pillow and slept.

Meanwhile in a truck that was red and black and had a volcano shaped like an M was the inferious Team Magma of Houen who were on a mission to find a female Groudon so it could help them find the male Groudon who had the power to dry the Pokemon world oceans.
“Why the heck do we want to kidnap the Kyamone and Pelliper who are mating?”asked Lavar the female member of the trio that were in the truck.
“Because a flock of Kyamone and Pelipper are powerful enough to pull a truck so we search the mountains for Groudon’s whereabout!” replied Mitch the leader of the Magmas in the truck.
“Excellent plan Mitch,when is the mating anyway?” asked Gordon the youngest and newest member of Team Magma.
“Tomorrow at noon!” shouted Mitch who thought his plan would be foolproof.

The following morning,Jon was still asleep dreaming about winning the League against Diego and finally becoming the idol that he always wanted to be and….
“WAKE UP JON!” screamed Jen who wanted to be near the mating ground before Mak.
“Yeah,yeah” said Jon who hated getting up early and was rather annoyed as Jen had spoiled a great dream.
After the intial rush of Jen dragging Jon out of the P.C and Jon having to get his glasses after he forget them, they arrived at the mating ground where they met to Jen’s disapointment Mak who was drawing the Kyamone that were landing on the ground,approached them once he had finished his sketch.
“Howdy Jen and Jon, oh Jon I should of introduced myself yesterday my name is..” said Mak who noticed that Jon didn’t too happy.
“I know Mak,anyway when does mating begin?” asked Jon who really wanted to go back to sleep.
“Noon, but we must see all the male Kyamone and Pelliper gather and when all the male Kyamone and Pelliper do the mating call the female Kyamone and Pelipper flock to choose their mate to breed with” explained Mak.
Jen was impressed with his knowledge while Jon had listen and thought it was boring and decided to sleep but Jen kicked him really hard to wake him up.

After a couple of hours they heard the mating call and Jen noticed the flock of female Kyamone and Pelipper flying toward the mating grounds and landed swiftly.
The mating was spectacular, the male Kyamone and Pelipper impressed the female by flying the loop the loop and showing off their water attacks by shooting a stream of water out of their mouths and spraying into the sea,suddenly they heard a helicopter whirring and saw a net falling towards the Kyamone and Pelipper and capturing all of the flock male and female,luckily one Pelipper managed to avoid the net and hid in a nearby tree and Jon,Jen and Mak saw the shadow of people who wore red hooded uniform with a volcano shaped like a M.
“That’s Team Magma, but why are in Makito when Groudon is in supposely in Houen?” whispered Mak who hiding behind a rock with Jon and Jen, Jon saw
Mitch,Laver and Gordon pulling the net full of Kyamone and Pelipper and threw it into their truck, Laver shut the truck and went towards the front of the truck went inside with Mitch and Gordy then the truck drove away.

“Oh no, they been kipnapped what are we going to do the mating only happens once a year and we don’t know where Team Magma went!” screamed Jen in a frantic state.
“well we could follow the tyre tracks”replied Jon pointing at the tracks on the ground that Team Magma’s truck had been.
They noticed the Pelipper in the tree and Jon called it down to help them sense the path where the flocks were going, and after a long hard trek through a dark, danky woodland area they arrived at the Magma headquarters.

Meanwhile in the headquarters, Mitch,Laver and Gordon were trying to persuade the Kyamone and Pelippers fly their truck but they were having no luck.
“Please fly for us, we’ll give you some bread” said Mitch with an innocent look as he tried to sweet talk these seagulls and pelicans but was failing to do so.
“Er fly birdies and we will let you let you go”said Gordon who as a rookie wasn’t very good at sweet talking and the Kyamone that was near him just peck him on the nose which caused to run away from these seabirds,Laver was now very annoyned that the Kyamone and Pelliper weren’t flying so she went up to the flock and screamed at the flock in her fury:
“IF YOU DON’T FLY FOR US, I WILL TURN YOU LOT INTO PIES AND YOU NEVER FLY AGAIN COS I WILL CLIP YOUR WINDS WITH MY BARE HANDS!”
Instantly the flock of Kyamone and Pelipper flapped their wings and the truck was just about to go airbourne when Team Magma heard a noise and ordered the flock to go down, they noticed three figures at now destroyed door with a Pelliper making noises then Jon spoke:
“Let that flock go now and we will leave you alone”
“Never!” yelled Laver in such a rage she threw a pokeball that released a Murkrow which was a crow Pokemon.
Mitch and Gordon grabbed a pokeball from their belts and yelled:
“Go Granbull”
“Go Dogassu”
Two weird looking dog Pokemon were released and Jon,Jen and Mak knew in order to free the flock they would have to battle.
“Go Mudkip!” yelled Jon and Mudkip was released out out of its pokeball ready to battle, Jen released Mareep who was also rearing to battle and Mak released his Torchic who flying about now in battle mode.
“Mudkip, water gun on Granbull now!” screamed Jon and a stream of water shot out of Mudkip’s mouth and it struck Granbull who just brushed the attack off as if it was nothing.
“Mareep,thundeshock Dogassu now!” yelled Jen and electricity didn’t just strike Dogassu it also hit Granbull as Granbull was near a puddle of water that it had brushed away Mudkip’s water gun attack and they instantly fainted due to the combination of electricity and water attacks.

Mak was trying to defeat Laver’s Murkrow with his Torchic but Murkrow kept evading the ember attack and just as he was about to return Torchic when Pelliper flew to Murkrow and shot a stream of water at Murkrow and Torchic shot a flame at Murkrow and it couldn’t continue battling so Laver returned it and Team Magma admit defeat and surrendered.
Jon and Jen found spare rope near where the Kyamones and Pellipers were so they took it and tied up Team Magma while Mak called the police to arrest Team Magma for capturng and mistreating Pokemon.
When the police arrived Jon,Jen and Mak had released the flock so they could get on with the mating and when it ended they flew gracefully back to their nest.
After this spectacular sight Jon was at the P.C resgistering for the Makito League and when Nurse Joy gave back his Trainer card, Jon saw the Makito League symbol meaning that he could now collect badges to enter the League and Mak had called his dad to tell him he was off on a journey with his new friends but he would take photos for a report on the world of Makito and sketches of Pokemon in their natural pose.
As they walked toward Tukee Forest Jon saw the Pelipper flying toward him and making noises meaning that he wanted to be Jon’s pokemon so Jon
Got a pokeball and threw it with all his at Pelliper,Pelliper got sucked in and the pokeball wriggled for a bit then stopped and Jon picked it up and did a victory dance as he had caught his first Pokemon and Jen and Mak smiled at Jon as they entered Tukee forest.

[Jon UKX]

no reply for my last post:confused: oh well here chapter 4:
Chapter 4:
Jon,Jen and Mak had been walking through Tukee Forest for two hours and they getting hungry, so Mak looked for a good place to sit and eventually found one under an oak tree and so he sat down and pulled out crisps and sandwiches from his rucksack and threw them to Jon and Jen who were busy collecting apples from the trees with the help of Mareep’s thundershock and Mudkip’s water gun attack.

After Jen and Jon had finishing collecting apples they sat down with Mak and ate the sandwiches and crisps,drank water from Jen’s water bottles and were busy eating the apples that Jon and Jen had been collecting,while they were eating the apples Jon noticed a unusual looking ring on Jen’s finger and asked:
“Jen I like your ring,can I have a closer look?”
Jen took off her ring which was shaped like a Kecleon and gave it Jon to at and just by looking at it reminded of something but he couldn’t figure out what is was and as he tried to give the ring to Jen a Subame flew and snatched the ring off Jon’s hand, but this was no ordinary Subame, this Subame had emerald green wings, its back was extactly the same colour and so was its feather, its head was orange instead of the red that Subame usually had and its breast wasn’t white like other Subame it was instead pink and when Jon saw it flying to a nearby tree it sparkled in the sunlight making this Subame a shiny.
Jen meanwhile was crying over the ring that the Subame had taken and Mak was trying to comfort but this just made things worse and made her cry even harder.
“Don’t worry Jen,I’m sure you can get another ring similar to the one you had” said Jon desperately trying to cheer Jen up.
“That ring was special,my cousin gave to me the day I left for my journey you can’t just replace it with an another ring,we must get it back!” replied Jen while she was wiping her tears.
Jon and Mak were busy searching for the shiny Subame but just as they were about to give up they saw the shiny sparrow again,this time heading toward a nearby tree with an another shiny object that looked like a bracelet hanging on its beak, after the brief sighting Jon saw Officer Jenny running toward them and after a brief gasp for breath she said:
“Did you see a odd coloured Subame flying with a bracelet in its beak?”
Jon and Mak both said yes and told Officer Jenny that this Subame had also taken Jen’s ring and when Mak turned around if Jen had stopped crying he saw that she gone and Jon,Mak and Jenny instantly knew she had gone to chase the shiny Subame.

Meanwhile deep into the forest,Jen was chasing the Subame and was screaming at it to give her ring back and cursing at it,suddenly a white liquid flew out of Subame bottom and went straight into Jen’s face,
Jen snapped and thought to herself:
The only way to get my ring back is by capturing this Subame so let it be!
Jen cleaned up the poop on her face and released Mareep to try and thundershock the Subame but the Subame was far too fast and kept evading the bolts of electricity, Jen was about to give up when she saw Jon and Mak with Jon’s Pelliper and Jon spoke in a mean voice:
“It’s time to fight flyer with flyer, go Pelliper get Subame!”
Pelliper flew straight at Subame and started to use gust but Subame dodged the attack and attempted to do a wing attack on Pelliper but the fact that Pelliper was fast despite its size and easily evaded the wing attack, Jon commanded Pelliper to do a gust attack and the powerful tornado attack flew from Pelliper’s flapping winds and struck the Subame thus making it dizzy and then Jen ordered Mareep to do a weak thundershock and a small bolt of electricity flew out of Mareep’s body and struck the sparrow then Jen got out a Nestball and threw it with all her might, the beam of light sucked the shiny sparrow into the ball, it wriggled for a bit then stopped Jen picked the Nestball from the ground and cheered, then she released it and spoke to it:
“Listen,now that you are mine tell me where your nest is”
The shiny Subame flew straight to a tree that Jon and Jen had picked apples and went straight to the nest and knocked it over to the ground.
All shiny objects like bracelets were scattered across the floor and Jen saw her ring and she picked it up and slid across her middle finger.
After she returned Subame,Mak told Jon and Jen he would take the shiny object to Tukee Town’s police station and would meet them in Weeptur City.
Jen and Jon set off to Weeptur City and Mak set off back to Tukee Town hoping that their luck would change for the better.

[Jon UKX]

Chapter 5&6 will be posted at the weekend as I have been rewriting them and all I can about say is that in Chapter 5 Mak catches a Machop and saves Jon and Jen and a group of Taneboo and in Chapter 6 Jon does his first Gym battle against Mia for the Cutey Badge.

[Jon UKX]

Due to school,writer's block and writing The Industrial League chapter 5 & 6 will be posted this weekend I PROMISE

[Jon UKX]

After a long delay here it is:


Chapter 5:
Jon and Jen arrived in Weeptur City and Jon was eager to get to the gym so he could battle the gym leader for a badge,Jen wanted to get to the P.C so she could heal Mareep and Subame who she had caught recently but Jon had run to the gym and Jen chased after him so they could heal before Jon could battle.

When Jon arrived at the gym he noticed that the gym door was locked and there was a piece of paper on the floor that properply been ripped off that Jon read outloud when Jen had arrived:
GYM CLOSED, DUE TO GYM LEADER BEING ON HOLIDAY, COME BACK IN A WEEK TO BATTLE MIA FOR THE CUTEY BADGE, PKMN LEAGUE OFFICIALS.
Jon stared at the piece of paper in utter dissapointment and although Jen was suspcious she comforted Jon and said:
“Never mind Jon, let go to the P.C so we can heal our Pokemon and wait for Mak so we can continue into Mount Fiury”
Jon and Jen walked to the P.C and while they were walking they heard some people talking in a tone that didn’t sound happy:
“Do you know the Taneboo have disappeared!”
“yeah,and so has Mia who apparently went to look for them but they say she went on Holiday to Johto to visit her cousin Whitney”
“at least the statue of Taneboo that guy in black gave us a month ago hasn’t disappeared”
Jon told Jen about what he had heard and so they agreed that after they went to the P.C they would investigate the Taneboo disappearce.
While they were at the P.C Jon saw a man that looked rather sad so while Jen was busy healing Mareep and Subame Jon decided to return Mudkip and Pelliper who were swimming in the fountain and walked over to the man he had seen and said:
“Excuse me,I noticed you looked rather sad can you explain to me why?”
the man was silent for a second then spoke in a raspy voice:
“I’m sad because no one will go on my guided tour of Weeptur City, but you can cheer me up by going on my tour,would you please”
Jon thought for a moment and after a long silent he replied:
“yes”
Jon called Jen who was busy eating a sandwich to hurry up and she joined him and the man(who said his name was Tekcor) and set off on the tour.

Meanwhile in Tukee Forest, Mak was walking along the path when he saw a pack of Pochena attacking a Machop who was trying to defend itself so Mak released Torchic and ordered it scare the pack away and with a blast of fire Torchic had made the Pochena pack run away, Mak returned Torchic and went toward the attacked Machop.
It didn’t seem hurt but it had a bitemark on its arm as a Pochena had bitten him while Machop was trying to punch the other Pochenas so Mak got some bandages and wrapped it around its muscular arm, suddenly the Machop went up to Mak and hugged his legs and Mak knew that this Machop liked him.
“Do you wanna come with me?”asked Mak and the Machop nodded and jumped for joy and Mak got out a pokeball and threw it into the air, the energy from the ball sucked Machop into the ball then the pokeball dropped steadily to the ground, it wriggled a little then stopped and Mak picked it up happily and put it on his belt.

While Mak was busy walking the path now with his recently caught Machop, Jon and Jen were busy walking with Tekcor who was busy giving them the tour of Weeptur City which was so boring that Jon had wished he had accepted the tour with Jen punching his arm at every stop,when the tour finally ended Tekcor brought them to the Taneboo statue and Jon spoke:
“Thanks for the tour now how can we repay you?”
Tekcor was busy taking his hat off revealing greasy blond hair and then he got a pair of sunglasses out of his trouser pocket and putting them on revealing his true identity.
“Yes I do want something YOU TWO!” said Tekcor with a smile on his face,
“I’m not Tekcor at all, I’m Buson from the famous Team Rocket and I overheard you talking about the Taneboo disappearance,well we took all the Taneboo from the city and hidden in the statue and since you brats will tell the police I think I have a way of stopping you, Bashou!”
Suddenly a long blue haired man who had a t-shirt and mini-skirt for a disguise came toward Buson and then grabbed Jen’s arms while Buson grabbed Jon’s arms and walked them toward the statue, Buson shouted in a clear voice:
“Speed of Light!”
Suddenly a sliding door appeared across the statue’s face and a smoke surrounded the statue and Basou and Buson walked in with the now captured Jon and Jen, but while Buson was holding Jon,Jon was struggling to get free causing the pokeball containing Mudkip to fall off but the two Rockets didn’t noticed so continued to walk on.

Meanwhile Mak had arrived in Weeptur City and was looking for Jon and Jen, after a long search and a trip to the P.C he gave up and decided to sit on a bench and while he was admiring the Taneboo statue he saw a pokeball near the statue,he walked over to it and as he touched it the pokeball opened and Jon’s Mudkip jumped out.
“Mudkip, what are you doing here?” asked Mak who thought that Jon’s pokeball belt had made the pokeball containing Mudkip fall on the floor as it might have been lose.
“Kip,Kip!” yelped Mudkip and Mak knew that the cry of Mudkip meant that Jon and Jen were in trouble then Mudkip pointed to the statue and Mak walked to the statue ready to go and when he approached the statue he spoke the password that Mudkip had yelped to him:
“Speed of light!”
Suddenly the statue slid opened and smoke surrounded the statue and Mak and Mudkip walked into the Taneboo statue hoping to rescue Jen and Jon.

Meanwhile Jon and Jen were in a room tied up with Mia(the gym leader of Weeptur City who was had been captured a couple of day before) and Jen was complaining:
“I wish that someone would save us, I’m hungry and I need to go to the toilet”
“they only let you go every half an hour and they only feed us bread and orange juice for breakfast, lunch and dinner” replied Mia who wasn’t happy at this moment in time.
“Cheer up Mia,if we get rescued I think I will battle you at the gym” said Jon who was keeping his mind occupied for the gym battle with Mia, but then Mia looked at him as if she wanted to punch him.
“We are being held captive and all you can think is a gym battle!” shouted Mia who was really angry with for his remark.
“Only a miracle could save us” said Jen in a voice that sounded that she had given up hope.

At that moment, Jon noticed a guy sneaking around and then as he approached the captives Jon saw that it was Mak with his Mudkip and when Jen and Mia saw him they were so happy they jumped for joy or at least tried to since they tied up,then Mak explained something he overheard Team Rocket say:
“They want the Taneboo, as the Taneboo of Weeptur City are thought to be stronger than normal Taneboo and it seems that Team Rocket captured these Taneboo for their boss and then force them to evolve
using special steroids known only as EV01 so they can capture rare Pokemon!”

Jon, Mia and Jen were shocked at what they had just heard and when Mak had untied them all Jon vowed that they should rescue the Taneboo from Team Rocket from be defeated trying and set off to the room where the Taneboo where held captured.
While they sneaking around looking for the Taneboos, Mak was taking photographs of the rooms that had captured and mistreated Pokemon who looked terrible due to the effects of EV01 and a room full of EV01 which Jon knew it would be used on the Taneboos and then at last they reached the room with the Taneboos and as they opened the door,they saw Basou and Buson so Mak told Mia to go inside the room and unlock the cages that the Taneboos were in using his lockpick while him,Jon and Jen battled Team Rocket,
Just as Mia went in and shut the door Buson and Basou approached the trio and Buson spoke:
“So you escaped and are trying to rescue the Taneboos,well if you want them you must battle us, go Skarmony!”
A shiny metal bird flew out of Buson’s pokeball and when Mak saw it he knew although Torchic was a fire type and steel was weak against fire, he knew that Torchic was not strong enough to defeat Skarmony so he decided to battle with his newest pokemon and he shouted:
“Go Machop!”
As Machop was released from its pokeball,Jon and Jen face dropped because they didn’t think that Mak had a Machop but then Jon thought he might of caught in Tukee Forest but Jen thought he had already had it but had not shown it them.
“Skarmomy,use wing attack!” shouted Buson and as Skarmony flew toward Machop ready to use wing attack on Machop,Machop simply ducked causing Skarmony to crash into a wall and Jon, Jen, Mak and even Basou couldn’t help but laugh then Mak stopped laughing he yelled:
“Machop, karate chop!” and when Machop did karate chop it whacked Skarmony’s neck causing it to faint and a frustated Buson returned it and wasn’t happy with this Machop.
“My turn, Go Fearow and Lavitar!” shouted Basou and a giant brown bird and a Larvitar flew out of Basou’s pokeballs, Jen and Jon knew that they could tackle this so they shouted:
“Go Mudkip!”
“Go Subame!”
as Mudkip and Jen’s shiny Subame were released Basou’s Fearow and Larvitar were rearing to go.
“Fearow, Larvitar peck and tackle now!” screamed Basou in a angry tone and as Larvitar tried to tackle Mudkip,Jon commanded Mudkip to do water gun and a stream of water shot out of Mudkip’s mouth and shot Larvitar and since Larvitar is rock type,it was extremely weak and just continue on and collasped on the floor,Subame was having problem with Fearow as Fearow was too big and its attack were not affected enough but Fearow had problem too, since Subame was agile enough to dodge most if its attack but then Jen commanded Subame to use gust and as Subame flapped it wings a gust of wind appeared and it knocked Fearow against the wall and Fearow struggled to get up and so Jen returned Subame and released Mareep and it to do a thundershock and as the bolt of electricity hit Fearow it’s instantly fainted.
Suddenly Mia arrived and she had the Taneboos with heard and said:
“I called the police and told them everything and they’re on their way”
“No they won’t capture us because we have an escape plan, come Basou to the helicopter!”shouted Buson and Basou and Buson ran away,Jon,Mak, Jen and Mia followed them but it was too late the helicopter was already airboune and they saw that the Taneboo statue had split in half so Team Rocket could go outside but then Buson shouted:
“We’ll get you lot next time!”
and as he said that,the helicopter flew into the afternoon sky.
Jon wa dissapointed that Team Rocket had escaped but he was thankful that Mak had rescued him, Jen and Mia and he was glad that they had rescue the Taneboo,then Mia went up to Jon and asked:
“After we get out of here,do you want to have a gym battle for the Cutey Badge?”
Jon smiled and shouted at the top of his voice:
“YES!”

At that the moment the police arrived and while were walking out of the Taneboo statue Jon wondered if he would win his ever gym battle and what the future held for him.

chapter 6 is interesting as it's Jon's first gym battle,

I'm not sure I should post an upcoming chapter where Mak meets his mother and she get shot by a Team Aqua member and dies and Mak goes on a hunt for the Aqua member but it's a sad chapter and I don't think I should post it,what do you lot think:(

[Chris 2.1]

Ok, first things first: a space comes after a comma. It looks a lot more cluttered, so try that. after all, it's the punctually correct way. Second, Mak CAN'T understand Mudkip, Ok? Mudkip has to show Mak the statue...or something. I can't see Mak being able to tell if Mudkip was pregnent or lost, because both are pleas. Thirdly, try that idea, but change it slightly. i don't know really...but make sure it's good...don't have TWO/THREE aqua's with a MOTTO and a TALKING POKEMON and a SUBMARINE/BALOON or even being prone to EXPLODING OFF THE CHAPTER...all of which are in my TR villans. Ps: They're changing, you'll see. Oh, and the sequel has badder guys...:)

[Jon UKX]

actually if you have seen the Charmander episode you see that Ash understands Pikachu,Mak is an experianced trainer so he understands the crys of Pokemon and also this Team Rocket is the ones from the Raikou special and since I HATE MOTTOS and blasting off again thing,there will be none of those and Team Rocket don't appear again until chapter 11,but what does everyone think I should post the death of Mak's mum by an Aqua member chapter

[Jon UKX]

Chapter 6:

After Jon,Jen and Mak had finished healed their Pokemon at the P.C, they met Mia at the Weepy Hollow restraunt and they discussed the latest news that was in The Daily Rapidash:
“Latias & Latios seen!” said Mak while reading and eating his burger,
“Latios and Latias, legendary protectors of Alto Mare in Johto were seen flying past the Axcel Tower by a 12 year old boy, Latios and Latias who have only been seen in Alto Mare and Houen, have the ability to change into human according to legend and only a few people have ever seen them”
“Man, I wish that I could see Latias and Latios” moaned Jon who long time dream apart from being like his idol Diego was to see or capture a legendary especially Latios and Latias who his father had told bedroom stories about.
“never mind Jon, you never know perhaps you will Latios and Latias” replied Jen who was slurping her chocolate milkshake and feeding Eneko, Mareep and Subame her chips at the same time.
“Okay, after we finish our meal, Jon and I will battle a 1V1 and if Jon wins I will him the Cutey Badge” said Mia who was finishing off her Weepy cheesy Burger and was looking at her Cuteball on her belt.

After they finished their meal and paid the bill, Jon,Jen,Mak and Mia walked the Weeptur City gym which looked like on the outside like most of the official gym(boring with a brick look) but on the inside it looked like every girl’s dream gym,pink walls with white pattern of cute Pokemon like Jigglypuff, Clefairy and Jon’s least favourtite Pokemon Togepi,Jen loved the surroundings but Jon and Mak hated it so much they wanted to be sick.
Mia wanted to start the battle with Jon and so she called them over and told Jen and Mak to sit in the audience seat and told Jon to stand in the white square opposite her and when the horn blared the batttle begun.
“Go Clefairy!” screamed Mia and out of her cuteball jumped out a Clefairy who did a battle dance and when Jon saw it he burst into laughter, a minute later Jon stopped laughing and threw a pokeball.
“Go Mudkip!” shouted Jon and Mudkip flew out of the pokeball and yelped in happiness.
“Mudkip use water gun” shouted Jon and a stream of water flew out of Mudkip’s mouth but Clefairy niftly evaded the stream of water and Jon cursed to himself.
“Clefairy, tackle!” shouted Mia and Clefairy charged toward Mudkip and knocked him over toward the wall.
“Mudkip, tackle as well!” said Jon and Mudkip got up,ran toward Clefairy and rammed it across the gym floor.

Mia was really cross with Jon as he was capable of defeating her Clefairy and she knew there was only one attack that could defeat Mudkip and she shouted:
“Clefairy Metronome!” and Clefairy waved its hand and a purple beam appeared before it.
“That a Psybeam!” said Jon in astonishment and he saw Mia give the signal to release it, as the beam darted straight toward Mudkip who jumped out of the way and the beam was going into Jon direction,Jon tried to get out of the way but it was too late, the beam hit Jon causing him to collaspe onto the floor.
Mia ran toward Jon followed by Jen and Mak and they were desperate to wake him up, suddenly Mudkip sprayed a stream of water on his face and Jon slowly started to gain consicious.

“Jon, can you hear me,Say something!” screamed Jen who was worried that the psybeam had knocked Jon cold, then Jon’s eyes opened and he said:
“Can we finish the match?”

Mia and Jon decided to return Mudkip and Clefairy as Clefairy didn't want to battle due to what it did to Jon and Mudkip was too weak to carry on,
“Go Igglybuff!” shouted Mia and a pink Pokemon with red eyes and a little swirl on its forehead bounced out of its Cuteball.
“Go Pelliper!” yelled Jon and Pelliper flew out of its pokeball ready to battle.
“Igglybuff use tackle” said Mia and Igglybuff bounced toward Pelliper and attempted to tackle Pelliper but Pelliper simply flew away from Igglybuff.
“Pelliper,wing attack!” yelled Jon and Pelliper flew toward Igglybuff and swiped it with its wing.
“Igglybuff sing!” shouted Mia but as Igglybuff started to sing, Pelliper flapped it wings to try and drown out the singing but Pelliper flapped them too hard causing a gust attack and the gust of wind flew toward Igglybuff knocking toward Mia and as Mia caught the small pink Pokemon in her arms she saw that it had fainted.
“Jon wins!” shouted Mia and Jon went up to Mia and shook her hand.
“great performance Mia, you were quite a challenge with Clefairy” said Jon who was over the moon that he had won his first gym battle.
“Well since you won I will give you the Cutey Badge” replied Mia who handed Jon a badge that was shaped like a Clefairy and Jon took it off her and put it in the badge case that his father had given the day before he left for Houen and Jon, Jen and Mak left the gym with Jon as proud as he had ever been in his life.

In the P.C Jon was busy healing Mudkip and Pelliper and Jen and Mak were at the Poke-Mart stocking up on supplies for them and their Pokemon, after they had paid for the shopping they met Jon who was sitting on a bench looking at the map on his Pokenavi then he spoke:
“According to the map, in order to get to Arcadia City we must go through Mount Fiury as the other path to the city is blocked for some reason”
Mak looked at Jon and Jen and shook his head and said:
“No, Mount Fiury is far too dangerous many people have died there and that included my grandfather”
Jen stared at Mak then she slapped his face to knock sense into him and spoke:
“It’s the only way to get to Arcadia City as the the other path is blocked, so unless you wussies want to stay here until the path is cleared which could days, weeks or even months, I’m going through Mount Fiury!”
As Jen left the guys, Jon and Mak looked at each other then nodded and started to run after Jen and caught up with her and agreed they should all go through Mount Fiury and walked toward the mountain not knowing what dangers lied for them.

hoped you liked it and since I'm very busy at the moment I will post one chapter every Saturday, and looked out for video game references in every chapter from now on

[Jon UKX]

Chapter 7:

Jon, Jen and Mak had the reached the entrance of Mount Fiury and were having second thoughts of going in.
“I think we should just wait till the other path is clear” said Mak who didn’t want to go into Mount Fiury as it would remind of how his Grandfather died.
“I think that a dragon lives in Mount Fiury, that what witnesses have said when they saw its dragon like wings” said Jon who had read the legend of Mount Fiury and that this dragon had eaten its victims.
Jen, who was not pleased with her scaredy-cat friends walked up to Mak and Jon and slapped some sense into her friends then bellowed:
“WE WILL GO INTO MOUNT FIURY WHETHER YOU TWO CHICKENS LIKE IT OR NOT!”
She dragged Jon and Mak by the ears and walked into Mount Fiury unaware that something bad was going to her.

Mount Fiury was a scary looking place, with caverns all around it and Zubats hanging on the ceiling, Jon wished that the path was clear so they could taken a longer but safer route to Arcadia City, Mak wanted to leave as Mount Fiury kept reminding him of his grandfather but Jen who just wanted to find the exit so they could get to Arcadia City was trying to find the exit and after a long search they agreed they should splitup and try and find the exit.

While walking, Jon noticed a figure who was dressed in a lab coat so it was obviously a scientist then Jon approached the scientist it turned around annoyed that Jon had disturbed her work and asked:
“What do you want kid?”
Jon wanted to say how dare you speak to me like that, but he didn’t want to be so he replied in a pleasant voice:
“I want to know the way out of Mount Fiury, can you help me Dr er..Kio”
Dr Kio stop what she was doing and said in a quiet voice:
“Course, but first I think you need to know something”
“What’s that Dr Kio?” asked Jon in a confused voice.
“You know about the dragon that has killed people in Mount Fiury” replied Dr Kio in a serious tone
“Yes”
“Well, I have found out who the dragon is”
“Who?”
“Fuiragon”
Jon looked at Dr Kio and then thought to himself: a Fuiragon isn’t capable of killing, this one must be the legendary Fuiragon I read about in the Myth about Pokemon.

Meanwhile, Mak was searching for the exit with the help of Machop when saw a pokemon that he needed for his team, it was a Kokodora a small pokemon which was a steel/rock type and Mak wanted to catch it so he sent Machop and told him to use double kick but the Kokodora dodged the attack, then it ran toward Machop in a stomach, Machop then went back on its feet and started to karate chop Kokodora until Mak told Machop to stop otherwise the Kokodora would faint then Mak got out a Metalball and threw it at Kokodora, the Metalball opened and sucked Kokodora in, the pokeball wriggled for a bit then stopped and then Mak picked it up and did a victory dance as he had caught Kokodora.

Meanwhile, Jen was walking around with Taillow frustated that she couldn’t find the exit then when she sat down to rest she saw Jon and Mak walking towards her with Dr Kio smiling then she asked:
“Why are you happy, have you found the exit?”
Jon nodded and then Jen stood up and hugged Jon then she hugged Mak and while she was hugging Mak Jon was making kissing noises and Jen put her middle finger up at Jon, at that moment Jon heard a screaching noise and looked around, suddenly a Fuiragon flew toward Jon and in a effort he felled to the floor but the Fuiragon didn’t want Jon so he swooped pass him then Fuiragon flew toward Mak and Jen and snatched her with its feet.
“JEN!” screamed Jon who was now worried as the Fuiragon had taken his friend.
“we’ve got to rescue Jen but the problem is Taillow and Pelliper are not big enough to ride on” said Mak who was busy thinking of a plan to rescue Jen.
“No problemo” said Kio and she produced two pokeballs from her belt and threw them and shouted:
“Go Pidgeot and Scizor!” and Pidgeot and Scizor flew out of their pokeballs and Jon and Mak got on their back and the two pokemon flew after Fuiragon.

The flight was amazing, Jon and Mak saw the view of Mount Fiury from above and saw the rocky caverns and the formation then Jon saw a glimpse of Jen who looked scared and so told Pidgeot and Scizor to go left to the cavern where Jen had been held captive.

While Jon and Mak were trying to find Jen, Jen was in a cavern with Fuiragon who was looking at her as if it was going to eat her and this made her really frightened then Fuiragon went toward her with drool coming out of its mouth then as Fuiragon approached her, Jon and Mak who were riding a Pidgeot and Scizor then they got off and approached Fuiragon amd threw a pokeball each.
“Go Mudkip” screamed Jon
“Go Kokodora” shouted Mak
Mudkip and Kokodora jumped out of their pokeballs then Taillow flew into the cavern and they all ready to battle.
“Mudkip use water gun!” shouted Jon and a stream of water flew out of Mudkip’s mouth and it hit Fuiragon in the stomach and Jon was amazed on how much damage a water gun attack could do to a pokemon like Fuiragon.
“Kokodora, headbutt!” screamed Mak and Kokodora ran and jumped using its head to try and knock Fuiragon over but Fuiragon used it arms to knock Kokodora out.
“Taillow, gust!” screamed Jen but just as Taillow was about to flap its wings Jon noticed that their was a tear trickling down Fuiragon eyes and so told Jen to stop Taillow to return to its Nestball while he confronted the Fuiragon.
Jon approached the Fuiragon who was crying and spoke to it on a gentle voice:
“What’s the matter Fuiragon?”
“Fu Fu!” replied the sad Fuiragon who had stopped crying as Mak had wiped its tears with his hankerchief.
“Have anyone read the story of the Fuiragon of Mount Fiury?” asked Jon who had been told this story when he was little but he couldn’t remember it.
“I do” replied a voice and Jon turned around, it was Dr Kio who was sitting on a Charizard she then got off and walked toward the gang and Fuiragon.
“According to legends, Fuiragon witnesses as a Nukkuraa its mother getting shot by a hunter and it wanted revenge so over the years it trained itself until it evolved into a Fuiragon and since then it has killed humans as an act of revenge and since you were going to rescue Jen, Fuiragon realised that not all humans are killers and so it cried in happiness so I think we should leave it” said Kio who explained the story of the Fury of Mount Fiury.
They flew down from the cavern waving goodbye to Fuiragon and Dr Kio lead them to the exit and the gang left Dr Kio who was heading toward Jinkies Island.
After a long walk they finally reached Arcadia City and Jon eagerly looked for the gym where he could fight Ace Blaze for the Lava Badge.

[Andrew]

As PM'd to me by the author.

Jon UKX
I don't need a title


Registered: Nov 2002
Posts: 165
Closing Jon:Idol Quest
I am requesting for you to close one of my fic, this is because I having problems with new chapter and I really want to concentrate more on The Industrial League and another new fic called Beautiful,
Thank you.

Jon UKX

Oh well... if you requested it Johnny old boy...

*Waves hands and closes*