The Misadventures of Charles Legend! (Re-mastered for the Nanowrimo)

[Chris 2.1]

Poor Charmander! Shot with a Pokeball. He'll bruise. I liked that idea.

I think you're doing a good job, and as I said on MSN maybe more panels might be worth looking into? Since not much is happening as of yet. I also wondered if you'd considered text-panels as a narrative form, or bars of text in the panels to say things like "Charles had a special gun made by ___ which fired Pokeballs" or something?

I just thought it would be cool. Anyway good luck with the fic!

[Charles Legend]

Basically it's a remake of my comic however it has a much better plot, also the Genre is ment to be Humor & Parody since it makes recurrences to stuff I like be it game movies, fics and even other comic however it also just so happens to be a Pokemon trainer fic also there are no mention of Infractions this time around.

Anyways on to the fic...

The Misadventures of Charles Legend! (Re-mastered)

Chapter: One: Starters don’t leave home with out one!

A young man was sitting at a table, in a shady club named Hoot Hooters, he took a sip of his drink he had ordered a Sex on the Beach, obviously the waitress misunderstood his order he was talking about the other kind of sex on the beach.

Anyways he was wearing a long red trench coat he just put down his drink and ran his right hand threw his spiky dirty blond hair the pushed up his glasses so that the light was not reflecting off them and you could see his bright green eyes, and then he let out a load whistle as the girls on stage started to strip.

Just then two huge guys the size of mountain trolls, the young man was not surprised to see the two at all since they threw him out of the club many a time before.

“Are you two cronies going to throw me out again, for lets see the hundredth time this week?” the young man said and got up his body was badly shaking, not because he was scared of these to lumbering trolls no it was because he obviously was not at all tolerant of alcohol.

“The boss would like a word with you sneaky gumshoe.” The two goons said and dragged him over to were a man wearing an orange tuxedo, and not much older then the deceive was.

“Fancy meeting you here Charles Legend”

“Nice entertainment you have here Chris, anyways how about a an Interview?” Charles said then threw up on Chris’ Tux.

“Damn it Charles this is a brand new tuxedo!” Chris snarled and kicked Charles between the legs flooring him. “I want this sneaky reporter out of my sight, however do not kill him since he has a lot of support in the community even if he is a bit mental.”


Two days later on a rocky hill side a black lizard with orange spots walked up to a human in a red trench coat the lizard was caring a leaf with a bunch of berries on it.

Suddenly a song started to play on Charles’ cell phone but the lizard was used to it now, however it almost made the salamander light the human on fire.

Charles eyes slowly opened “where am I?’ Charles asked himself.

“Charmander!” said the lizard.

Charles noticed he was tied to a log and wood and kindling was placed around him. Charles then realized that this was not the only Charmander around but it certainly stood out from the rest.

“CHARIZARD!” roared two huge orange dragons as they landed infrount of Charles and the black Charmander.

“CHARMANDER!” the Charmander roared <“I will not kill this human, I may be an out cast but this human has done nothing wrong!”

“CHARIZARD!” the bigger of the two dragons said. <“Humans are forbidden to step foot here in are Charific Valley here on Mount Rizardon!”

“CHARMANDER!” the Charmander Roared. <“He did not come here of his own free will he was dragged here by two big humans that looked like mountain trolls, if I must I’ll prove it to you but I’ll need this humans help to do it.”

“CHARIZARD!” the dragon Roared <“Fine out cast you may have this human as a pet, we and the rest of are clan will not harm it.”> then the two huge dragons left.

“Hun what was all that roaring all about?” Charles asked himself.

The outcast gave Charles a wicked grin before jumping at him and cutting the vine that was used to tie him up.

“Hun you feed me, but then why do I get the felling those Charizards wanted you to kill me?” Charles asked and looked around and saw that he was in a valley with numerous mountains around it with caves.

“CHARMANDER!” Charmander roared <“Just grate my new pet dose not understand are language I guess I have to teach this idiot.” slap pining his forehead.

“hey did you just call me an idiot?” Charles asked as he was typing something on a mini computer built into his left arm. “Oh don’t mind this I lost my left arm when some one hired a bounty hunter after me at lest Suzy gave Jay a permanent ban, however the damage had been done I was dieing however I was rushed to a special hospital where Dr. Octillery gave me this arm, of course it helped that I pre ordered the arm several weeks before from a robotic company which custom built it for me.” Charles Explained

“Charmander?” the Charmander asked. <“What you can understand me?”>

“Yes, but I could not before because I did not have my translator on, it covers not only all human languages but also those of Pokémon as well, it comes in quite handy do to being an ace reporter, mind you a crazy one.” Charles said. “Anyways since I did not get the interview with Chris yet do you care if I interview you?” Charles asked. “No, very well then King you leave me with no choice then!” Charles winked at the black Charmander with orange spots.

“Charmander?” The Charmander said “Wait just a minute human since when is it up to you to give a wild Pokemon a name?”

“Hum, good point King” Charles said taking out a gun an loading a Friend Ball into it and took aim. “Go Poké Ball!”

“CHARMANDER?!” King Screamed as he was sucked into the Friend ball. <“Why dose stuff always happen to me?!”

“Maybe you’re the chosen one? Anyways this just proves that I always get my story.” Charles said then picked up the Friend Ball and Pocked it, then took out a blue ball that had eyes. “Teleport!” Charles then vanished from Mount Rizardon.

------
Back at the office.

“Charles where the hell have you been? Jeff asked as he walked up to Charles, who was sitting at his desk typing. ”I tried calling you for two days now.”

“I was unconscious and tied to a log for two days.” Charles explained. “But no I did not get an interview with Chris yet, but don’t worry boss I’m on the case you see from what I herd from my sneaking into Hoot Hooters is that he runs an underground dueling club and the people who join get a membership card to Hoot Hooters.”

“Charles the last thing we need is for you to order another sex on the beach and get drunk again.“ Jeff said. Shaking his head.

“I’ll just order a cup of Java the Poop then boss?” Charles aked.

“You know some times Charles it’s a wonder how you did not end up in the Insane Asylum.”

“What, oh you mean The Blue Avenger’s comic nah too many Tetris Bricks falling on people for my likening.”

Charles then showed Jeff the comic.

“Blue what are you doing?” asked a guy in a blue robe and hood as he saw another guy in a blue suit and mask fighting a dragon in the middle of the air over a cliff.

“Azure what dose it look like I’m doing?” Blue asked.

“Uh falling, you can’t fly remember?” Azure pointed out.

“Oh.” Blue said. “Curse you!”

Suddenly a Tetris Brick fell out of the sky and fell next to Azure.

“Wow that was um close” Azure said.

“Charles that’s the lamest comic I have ever seen on top of that It’s out of print!” Jeff yelled. “Now get back to work!”

“Right boss.” Charles said. "Yeah back to work on the funny pages."

As Jeff started to walk a way a Tetris Brick fell on him.

"Curse you Charles!" Jeff muttered from under the block.

"Um sir. you do relize it's just Styrofoam." Charles pointed out.

The tile is a refence to the fact you need a starter pokemon, also as chares pointed out he chose king as his starter thus making king the chosen one. Also you well fully met the pokemon who Teleported Charles in this chapter in next chapter entitled "Java The Poop!"

Word Count: 1304/50 000

~Charles Legend

[Charles Legend]

Right change of plans Java the Poop is now the main Villain he is based off of Java the Hutt, isted of just being a in joke about the most expense coffee in the world which it's made from the dung of a cat.

Anyways it should be no surprise then that Java the Poop is a Gigantic brown incredibly fat and evil alien and is served by women he forced into slavery.

But yes the main point of this chapter is to introduce Charles’s daughter Jeri and his Nemesis Java the Poop, along with Wolfsong.

Chapter Two: Memories of No One

“But Charles why do you have to leave now.” asked a woman

“It’s not like I don’t want to stay but I’m one of the top ranking officers.” Charles said as he held his wife in a tight hug then let go and left his house.

Inside

“Mom why is dad leaving?” asked a little girl.

“Your father had to go to work and by the sound of it they must need your father’s help they only call on him if it’s one of the 12 most dangerous crime lords.” his mother sobbed.

Outside Charles shad a tear as he climbed into a space ship.

“Charles I understand how you fell but we recently tacked down what we believe to be the base of Java the Poop the number one most wanted crime lord in the known galaxies“ A man said. As he placed on Charles right shoulder.

“But Kevin what if what Jay said was true and Java the Poop has built a Death Star?” Charles asked.

“As we had all ready told you we have reason to believe that Java the Poop plans to kill all the men and boys on your planet and take all the women and girls captive.” Kevin said. “urther more if we had left you would have rallied the men and attacked which would have just made him use the Death Star, the same would have happened if we tried to evacuate the planet”

“I just hope you two well be ok.” Charles said looking at picture of hhis wife and dougter as the ship left the atmosphere

Meanwhile back on Charles’ home planet in the house Jeri was reading a letter Charles had left her she was crying but some what understood his reasoning she then looked at her daughter and knew Charles was doing this not only to try and protect them but their planet as well.

Five years later…

“Jay how dare you double-cross all of us especially me, because of you Java the Poop’s Death star blew up my home world you bastard! Charles snarled as he punched a man in the gut.

“Hey at lest Java the Poop pays well but I well tell you this your wife and your daughter survived, Java the Poop has your wife and daughter as his slaves.” Jay said then sliced off Charles’ left arm.

“That’s it you bastard!” Charles said as his eyes glowed as green blood gushed out of his left shoulder “You have gone too far prepare for a permanent ban from this ream bastard!” and snapped his fingers.

“Oh is that all?” Jay asked suddenly a giant Tetris brick fell on him crushing him.

“The game is over for you Jay.” Charles said as a new arm generated, one of his races special abilities, Charles then picked up his old arm and absorbed it

-----------------------------------

Present day.

Charles was standing outside a casino called the Lucky Karp and saw two guards.

“Identification please.” asked the guards.

“Yeah I got some Identification” Charles said holding up his Voltorb “Thunder Wave!”

“What the hell?!” the two guards asked and were hit by two small lighting bolts coming from the Voltorb’s eyes, Charles then kicked them, flooring them both.

“Can’t move.“ the guards groaned.

Charles soon came to their bosses office after knocking out all of the guards

Charles took in the sounding this was no office or at lest not an earthling’s office for one thing it had a huge bed with red sheets and a giant monstrous brown slug sitting on it being served by a number of women wearing nothing but gold bras and thongs.

“Java the Poop we meet at last, where are they you slimy Blastema!”

“Who the fuck are you?” Roared the slug.

“I am Charles Legend, Agent 0026 from Her Majesty's Secret Service and I’m your Nemesis!” Charles roared. “Because you invaded my home planet and killed my friends and abducted my wife and daughter, and now that I’m hear I’m going to kill you gigantic Pimple!”

“Ha! I beg to differ Legend it is I that will kill you!” Java the Poop road evilly.

.”Leave my father alone you Monster!” A young teenage girl yelled.

“Shut up!” the slug roared and slapped her off the bed. “I’ll deal with you after I kill your father.”

The girl stayed put positively terrified of what horrible punishment waited her should the slug kill her father.

Java the Poop threw out a Poké Ball “Go Muk Crush this intruder with Body slam!” the Blob Roared.

As a gigantic pile of sludge was about crush Charles he held up his Voltorb Cannonball 26 “Explosion!

“Ha! Looks like your Father was a Legendary Loser now for your punishment. the slug roared evilly.

“Dad help!” The girl screamed. as the demon slapped her face.

Suddenly the Muk was suddenly blown apart, and there stood Charles covered in it’s remains.

“Impossible!” Roared the slug.

“Clearly you did not get the memo regarding my races abilities.” Charles said. “Keep your filthy appendages away from my daughter you disgusting blister!

“Fine you win this round and your delicious daughter back.” Java the Poop Roared.

“That well not do you demon, my mission I started Ten years ago has yet to me completed, do to the fact you still live.” Charles said. ““You have gone too far prepare for a permanent ban from this ream blasted!” and snapped his fingers.

“Maybe another time Legend but know this next time we met we shale dual in the shadows!” the Slug road as the bed quickly lowed into the floor and the hole was sealed just as a Tetris brick fell on the spot Java the Poop had been..

“Right I should have known all super villains have a secret escape hatch. “ Charles said rubbing his chin.

“Dad why did you not just have mom and me transported off are home planet” asked his daughter.

“It was Kevin’s direct orders Jeri” Charles said as he handed her some cloths them to her. “Here put these on,”

“Thank you father.” Jeri said then gave him a hug.

“Your welcome sweetheart, and I hope you understand I was only trying to protect are home world.” Charles said. “I failed, however at lest I knew you and your mother were alive, all these years I spent tracking down Java the Poop in order to rescue both you and your mother.”

“Yeah I understand father.” Amy said as they walked out of the casino and into the parking lot and got in to Charles’ car.

“Anyways I need to make a quick stop at the office, I have a desk job now as a reporter, the only old school Crime Lord left is Java the Poop.” Charles said to Jeri. “Anyways after that I’ll take to are house, thought it’s been lonely with only me and my Pokemon around.”

“Cool so what Pokemon do you have besides Voltorb?” Jeri asked.

“Well I have a Charmander who saved my life, and if to come in to my office with me I’ll introduce you to Loki my ditto who should still be crushing my boss Jeff as a Tetris Brick” Charles said as he pulled into the parking lot.

Meanwhile back inside the office.

Jeff was still suck under the Tetris Brick

“Sir Charles wanted me to tell you he went to see Java the Poop.” his secretary informed him.

“Are you sure he did not mean get a cup of Java the Poop Wolfsong?” Jeff asked angrily as he slowly pushed the over sized block off him and looked at her as he got up, little did he know the block shank in to a blue amoeba and then jammed on Charles chair were it chanced it’s shape again and Jeff sat on it, and it started to make sounds like Jeff was farting.

“Sir?” Wolfsong asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jeff got up and picked up what he sat on. “I Don’t believe it Charles put a blue Whoopee Cushion on his chair knowing that I would sit on it!” Jeff said and put on the desk then looked at Wolfsong.

“Well can you blame him, you did put him in charge of the funny pages among other things.” Wolfsong said.

“Now I know he should have been put in the Insane Asylum.” Jeff said and gabbed a pencil Charles desk that was oddly in the same spot were he put the Whoopee Cushion, Suddenly the pencil transformed into a blue M &M with arms and legs and it started to tap dance on Charles desk and sing the song called “Hello! Ma Baby”

“You see Wolfsong a total nutcase! Jeff said slamming his fist into it and crushing it into bits of chocolate.

“Sir while I agree Charles is crazy he has uncovered the Identities of several Crime Lords, apparently Chris 2.1 and Java the Poop are among them.” Amy said.

Just then Charles walked in covered in ash and purple Goop.

“Charles what the hell happened? Jeff asked.

“Oh you know Crime Lords it’s shoot fist ask quotations later.” Charles said as he looked at his desk and raised an eyebrow as he saw his ditto was knocked out on his desk “ I see you finally met Loki my Ditto.” Charles winked.

“Oh really and how do you know that?” Jeff said. “Wait so that blue Tetris Brick that fell on me that was made of rubber not Styrofoam, that Whoopee Cushion and the Pencil that transformed into a blue M &M with arms and legs and danced and sang was your Ditto?”

“Because Java the Poop tried to kill me with his Muk and left me with no choice but to blast it apart using Voltorb’s Explosion attack.”

“How the hell did you survive the blast?” Amy asked

“Simple I’m not human.” Charles said.

“That’s an understated Charles.” Jeff said.

“No really Jeff I am the last male survivor of my home world, my race was almost entirely wiped out by none other then Java the Poop, I have been chasing him threw out the know galaxies to this planet.” Charles said.

“Right and I am to believe you why?” Jeff asked.

“Because Charles is my father, and just risked his life to free me.” Jeri said as she walked into her father’s office.

“Since when do you have a daughter Charles?” Jeff asked.

“About 15 years ago give or take.” Charles said recalling his Ditto. “Anyways I’m pooped I’m taking the rest of the day off.” the he and his daughter left.

“That’s was the worst one liner I have ever herd him say Wolfsong, of curse he’s pooped he just blew up a freaking Muk for crying out load!” Jeff said. “Well him being an alien certainly explains a lot.”

"Sir have you read his report?" Wolfsong asked.

"Well I was half way threw it however I had to use the restroom but it was out of toilet parer so I used it instead, that's why I came into Charles office earlier I was going to print out another copy." Jeff said.

Charles walked back in

"I forgot my briefcase, oh did I here your right Jeff you wiped your butt with my report?" Charles asked. "That's a shame I had to delete it. well I'm out of here."

"I don't believe it he deleted it!" Jeff roared throwing his hat on the ground.


So yeah the tile makes reference to Bleach: Memories of Nobody, also at the begging of the chapter Charles was recalling some of his own memories, also his codename 0026 has no one in it similer to the fact that Greyfox had an Electrode that he called No one because it had no one in it's name, also I had a voltorb in ASB.

Also yes I'm aware that I had nothing to do with the actual banning of Jay but then again in this fic I am one of Kevin's top warriors, and it just fitted the plot line.

But Yeah I don't plan for Charles to face Java the poop again directly until the last few chapters...

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Word Count: 1304/50 000
Word Count: 1912/50 000
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Word Count:3216/50 000

~Charles Legend

[PancaKe]

I seem to be writing replies as I read fics now. So it helps me to write better more detailed replies, although it’s a little harder for you as you have to descipher my thoughts! Sorry! =)

I like Hoot Hooters. Clever! lol
And I liked the sex on the beach call as well. Haha twice in two sentences. On a roll!

You need to use full stops and grammar. Unless you are not using them on purpose and I am just being a nitwit.

Is this Chris character that you bring in based on Chris from fanfic , or just a name you picked?

Oooh I like the idea that the Charmander has the human as the pet. interesting twist! And it’s a shiny one also ^___^

That translater sounds a lot like babelfish =)

Ah. Jeff as well. I am assuming you are basing these off people at TPM then. Right?

LMAO at the tetris comic. That’s awesome. I lol’d

Ah now onto chapter two…

Is Java the Poop related to Jaba the Hutt?

Jay is Jay?

Haha ok so I got confused and decided to just read the whole chapter. Are you basing things a bit off ASB as well?

EITHER way. I am enjoying it. I am glad I decided to read! :D

[Charles Legend]

I seem to be writing replies as I read fics now. So it helps me to write better more detailed replies, although it’s a little harder for you as you have to descipher my thoughts! Sorry! =)

I'm glad you did reply, and that's fine PancaKe.

I like Hoot Hooters. Clever! lol

Hoot Hooters was named after an old chat Topic in the ASB, which if I'm not mistaken was named after Hoothoot and Hooters restaurant, although in the fic it's a bar.

And I liked the sex on the beach call as well. Haha twice in two sentences. On a roll!

I'd thought that would be funny since I did not even know a drink called 'sex on the beach' even existed that is until Chris 2.1 posted a chapter called sex on the beach, since most of his chapters in show off are named after drinks, see he works for a bar. thus I showed that Charles did not understand that it was a drink.

You need to use full stops and grammar. Unless you are not using them on purpose and I am just being a nitwit.

Um, I'll get back to you on that.

Is this Chris character that you bring in based on Chris from fanfic , or just a name you picked?

Yes Chris in this fic is Loosely based off of Chris 2.1 and Giovanni, since in the fic he owns a bar and is a mob boss. ;)

Oooh I like the idea that the Charmander has the human as the pet. interesting twist! And it’s a shiny one also ^___^

King is based off of my charizard in the ASB who I named King after The Charizard King, which a long time ago was my user name at another message board.

Also I used to play an RPG there as a pokemon trainer who owned a black shiny charizard and that was way back before shiny pokemon even existed in the games, so when I joined the ASB one of my four starters was a shiny charmander. Technically Charles is an alien and so is his daughter, basically they are humanoid plants lie Vash the stampede who Charles is some what based off.

Yeah about Charles being King'[s pet I thought it would be funny, besides King hass a big ego.

That translater sounds a lot like babel fish =)

Oddly I never herd of that before, in one of my older fics I had Charles use a device called the Pokémon Universal translator or P.U.T for short, besides in this story since Charles is a reporter he finds his translator to be very helpfle I'll explain more about it later.

Ah. Jeff as well. I am assuming you are basing these off people at TPM then. Right?

Yes, the reason I chose Jeff as Charles boss is simple Jeff is based off of Jeff who is in charge of the main site and well I'm a reporter for the main site.

LMAO at the Tetris comic. That’s awesome. I lol’d

Well the The Blue Avenge rhad a web comic called the Insane Asylum, I was a big fan of it, he apparently took it down thats why Jeff said it's out of print, also the comic in this fic is just based of stuff I recall from the Insane Asylum I also used it to get the Tetris brick gag running in this fic.

Is Java the Poop related to Jaba the Hutt?

Yes, Java the Poop is based off of Jaba the Hutt, however his name is an in joke about the world's most exspenive coffee being made from the Poop of a cat, orginally I was going to have Charles just go get some lunch and he meets Blademaster who ordered the coffe and then charles tells him what it's made from.

Jay is Jay?

Yes, however in this fic he used to work for kevin however he deflected and joined the dark side of the force, also I plan on explaining more of just how he got banned right now the stories don't match but I'll work it out, and I think you may like the twist I have in store.

Haha ok so I got confused and decided to just read the whole chapter. Are you basing things a bit off ASB as well?

Yeah I am in fact I plan to have a few charters with Pokémon battles in it.

EITHER way. I am enjoying it. I am glad I decided to read!

I'm glad you enjoyed my story so far, and thanks for replying.

Also I got Distracted with Pokémon OceanBlue mainly in the fact I been mapping out the maps, Pokémon OceanBlue it is meant to be the third Version for FireRed and LeafGreen. With several Inprovements in it, ;)

don't worry I'll still be working on this fic.

~Charles Legend