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View Full Version : Tony's Times ~ The Aftermath of Minty Thrill



Drago
7th November 2005, 10:36 PM
Howdy y'all! It's your delightfully crunchy host D-Knight here, throwing caution to the wind and engaging in a healthy spurt of fan-ficcing.
What I have here is the spiritual sequel to Minty Thrill, set a couple years after the events that happened there. Yeah, I know I chucked a fit and never finished that story, but for the sake of argument, things occurred to Tony Chambers and company during that timeline. Interesting things.

Additionally, this isn't quite a full fic. It'll only be four chapters or so, but all going well it'll be the same good-natured, grammatically flawed, plothole-filled escapades that we all remember so fondly. Or at least I do.
Theoretically, you won't have to read MT to get the gyst of TT. Mmkay? Mmkay.

Our first course of the evening, a prologue...

TONY’S TIMES
Prologue
The Thrill Resumes

I peered over the crowd, still taking in the mystique of where I was. There I stood, Furudo’s own Pokémon master, behind the stand, addressing the people who adored me so. It took a long time and more pain than one innocent lad should sustain, but it was all worth it for just this one moment of glory. I took a deep breath, before I continued my speech.
“I did a lot of things in life to get to where I am today,” I said thoughtfully, “In my travels I made a lot of friends, a lot more enemies, and even a few who were both. But whether I was just starting out from my hometown of Burake, or claiming the final elusive belt buckle from Yamashuta City, I never forgot to appreciate how I came to be there.”

I threw a hand toward the air either to accentuate my point or declare myself a Nazi. “I had to gain the trust of my Pokémon, from my beloved Leaves, to little Gigi, bless her soul, who alas lost her life last year in that tragic skiing accident.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, “I kept saying ‘No, Gigi, no! It’ll never work!!’ but she just looked me in the eye, and said to me, ‘Pidgey’. It was then I knew, I couldn’t convince her otherwise.” I slammed my fists against the stand, “So many feathers! So many little feathers…”
I looked back up at the shocked crowd and regained my composure. “But when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. So when life gave me splattered Pidgey in the snow, I opened up my world-famous branch of frozen Pidgecicles. And yes people, I owe it to you that I won the lawsuit that following month.”
The spotlight seemed to be set too bright and I was sweating now, but that meant nothing to me. I had these people hooked.

“To become the master, I had to overcome challenges from all facets of life! I conquered the gym leaders, I tamed the rogue RS Pokémon, I saved the world from destruction by that evil wench Chase Ginnit, and I cleared up that unfortunate Digimon issue of 2007. Dark year, that one.”
I looked into the eyes of the audience, into their very souls, and prepared to wrap this one up gloriously. “But above all else, to be the man I am today, I had to-”
“CHEAT!!”

A disembodied voice cut me off with such authority and treble; it seemed to make the arena shake. I looked around furiously to find this heinous culprit.
“You were a lying, cheating, stealing fool from day one, Chambers! And I could tell these people every single one of your endeavours…”
“Ha!” I scoffed, “You want to pin these wild allegations on me? We haven’t got enough time to hear your ramblings.”
“Oh I do have time.” A shape took form next to me to embody that which was the previously disembodied voice, “In fact I have all the time in the world…”
“No, it couldn’t be…” I gasped, clutching my chest tightly, “It couldn’t be you…”
But it was. It was my most hated rival, my most loathed adversary, the Gene Hackman to my Christopher Reeve…
“FATHER TIME!!” I wailed, as I was face to face with the contemptuous beast.
“You should’ve known you couldn’t escape me, Chambers!” the ancient man snarled in a throaty voice, “You can’t avoid your fate. But most of all, you can’t tell time!!”
I fell to my knees. The world seemed to be spinning. They were all lies… All lies… All lies…

“LIAR!” I shot up to my feet, flinging Leaves off the end of the bed and launching him into the wall.
“…Wha? What am I doing here?” I looked down confused. I was in my room, teddy bear in hand and wearing my ‘Pretty Ponyta’ pyjamas. It was pretty clear what was happening here.
“That bastard Father Time stole my arena!!” I cried, before giving it a little more thought, “Or perhaps, that was all a dream. Yeah, that’d be it.”
I took in my familiar surroundings, and pieced together the inconsistencies between my dream and real life. I had only ever collected six and a half belt buckles, I cheated to take on the masters of the Pokémon League, and my quest for dominance was cut short when I lost in the final round to that clown, Lamont Kong. Oh, and I only ever sold eight Pidgecicles before I ran out of Pidgey remnants.

“Saur…” Leaves moaned mournfully, crawling back atop the bed to glare at me angrily. His tail whipped around wildly, the blades of grass atop his head shook with each movement, and the cocklebur atop his back looked pointier than usual. Staring at my long-time companion Lebresaur, I could only conclude one thing.
“Leaves,” I said, staring him in the eyes, “You are really, really ugly.”
He hacked a clod of venom at me to symbolise his equally offensive response, but I wiped it off nonchalantly as I stood up. The fact that it burnt like hell was irrelevant, really.
“Well, I had the weirdest dream.” I said with a stretch, “About how I actually became the best trainer in Furudo, but Father Time told me that I couldn’t tell time at all. I wonder what he meant by that?”
The door flung open. Leaves and I looked in the direction of James, who had a most bemused look on his face.
“Tony, what in the hell are you doing here?” he said frantically, “You were supposed to leave for that job interview an hour ago!”
I looked over at the clock, which confirmed his claim. I was… late.
Taking in a deep breath, I stated the two words that summed up this situation and this life that I was living.

“…Aww Hölle.”

classy_cat18
7th November 2005, 10:52 PM
So funny. Poor Gigi! I never even had the chance to meet her! Also, I loved that random bit with Father Time. Randomness seems to be your strong point. Looking forward to the next chapter.

EDIT: Tony has an Ivysaur now? Sweet.

Drago
9th November 2005, 11:59 PM
classy_cat18: Thank y'all, classy! It's a fun fact that I had subconsciously named Gigi after a Pidgey RP'ed in the old Pokebabies without realising where the name came from. ...The thing I love about randomness is that it allows dialogue to just pop out of nowhere. If I set up any old plot device then work on it, oftentimes something just springs to mind that I chuck in there... Ooh, and Leaves isn't quite an Ivysaur. He's similar, but different... ;)

Explained in chapter one, it is.

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 1
One of those Days

I looked through the closet for clothing suitable for a job interview, or at least suitable for a sequel, but was finding a great deal of nothing.
“Give it up Tony,” James said with a sigh, “There’s no way you’re going to be able to talk your way into this job.”
“But I’ve got a whole lot of things going for me!” I said confidently, throwing aside socks, “I’m young, I’m attractive, and so far, I’m fashionably late.”
Then I spotted it. The dusty white box hidden away in the corner. I leant over and pulled it toward me, feeling a bizarre sense of nostalgia.

I removed the lid and looked at the contents. A long shiny orange coat that stretched down to my feet, a tight green shirt, a silver belt, shiny black flair pants and pointy white shoes. …My Mintythrill-hunting gear.
“Oh Tony, no.” James groaned, “Not those clothes…”
“Yes my friend, these clothes!!” I declared, pulling on the shirt and the pants.
“That was a long time ago, you said you wouldn’t.” James protested.
I did up the belt and tied up the shoelaces. “I’ve said a lot of things I never followed through on, James.”
“Tony, you just can’t wear those clothes!!” James said sternly.
Proudly, I slipped into the shiny orange coat. Memories ran through these stitches like an overflowing river or toilet bowl. I struck a pose just like I used to back in the day, and looked at James defiantly, “And why not?”
James groaned and walked out of the room, “Because there’s a hole in the crotch.”

Nearby, Leaves sniggered at the sight of my ‘Bravest Little Ditto’ boxers, in clear view for all in the room.
“What?” I snapped, “It’s better than the Moltres thong I usually wear.”
To that remark, Leaves promptly fainted. …I wonder if I should’ve gotten experience points for that?
********************************
After ‘fixing’ my tattered pants, I stumbled down the stairs (quite literally, I think I broke my uvula in the process) and into the kitchen where Megan and James were eating breakfast.
“Morning Tony,” said Megan, “Shouldn’t you be at that interview now?”
“Shouldn’t YOU be minding your own business?” I hissed, before meekly looking at the unpleasant expression on her face, “Umm I mean, shouldn’t you be minding your own business… sweetie?”
Hoping that I had dodged a serious bullet there, I grabbed a box of cereal and poured it into a bowl as well as on the counter. Just in case the ants were hungry.
“In any case Tony, my cousin Ludwig is here already.” Said James, and before I could ask who or what a Ludwig was, I noticed a small child standing next to me, staring at me curiously.
“Geaah!” I shouted, jumping back, “I keep telling you kids to stop appearing out of nowhere!”
“Sorry Mr. Tony.” Ludwig muttered, “But your pants look funny… Is that duct tape?”
I turned aside in a huff, “No, that’s FASHION tape.”

I sat down at the table, trying to ignore everything in general.
“I told Ludwig you’d give him some Pokémon-training pointers this week.” James said, shuffling through the morning paper.
“You sure tell Ludwig a lot of lies…” I grumbled, before turning towards the little twerp, “So whaddya want to know?”
“Why do you have a tail, Mr. Tony?” Ludwig started in an obvious place. For no apparent reason, I chose to take offence to his abrupt mention of the Smeargle tail I had had affixed to my rear in previous kooky antics.
“That’s to keep my ASS company.” I snapped, to the shock of James and Megan, “And, uh, by ass, I of course mean Leaves… He’s a bit like a pointy donkey. An ass, of sorts. You know?”
Ludwig looked over at Leaves, the newfound ass.
“What is he, anyway?” Ludwig asked a question I wouldn’t mind knowing myself.
“Technically, Leaves is a Lebresaur.” I replied, “He looks like an Ivysaur, mostly, but unfortunately when he levelled up to evolve he got caught in an explosion where he was exposed to a Leaf Stone, a crystal shard and a prickle bush.” …That last part always sounds so less dramatic.
“That green pointy thing on his back is a cocklebur. Self-explanatory, or self-exPLANTatory, if you will!” I laughed loudly at this wonderful joke, but stopped when nobody else did.

“So instead of having a flower on his back, Leaves has grass on his head, a green forked tongue, those big ol’ claws and a tail. Oh, and unlike most Pokémon, he can talk, too.”
“Really?” Ludwig gasped, amazed.
“Yes, but, umm… he only knows a couple words.” I continued, “He can’t really sustain a conversation, or anything. Isn’t that right, Leaves?”
“Shut up!” Leaves stated proudly, wagging his tail.
“Uhh, yeah.” I muttered, finishing off the last of my cereal.
“What other Pokémon do you have, Mr. Tony?” Ludwig asked as I stood up.
“Quite a lot…” I said while walking towards the doorway, “I can only carry six with me at a time, I think right now I’ve got Cubone, who used to be a Marowak, but I paid some guy $400 to ‘change his level’, but forgot to specify that I wanted him to level up, not down… I’ve got Klepto, whose a Xatu that steals things.” I peered around mysteriously, “STILL. I’ve got Ampharos who likes to design clothing and secretly hates me for never giving her a name, I’ve got Agwa, a Skitty with serious bravery issues and a name borne from a lack of consciousness, and I’ve got Mr. Marv.”
“What’s Mr. Marv?” Ludwig asked curiously.
“He’s a Houndoom who chases his tail.” I said with a sigh.
“But aren’t their tails really pointy?” Ludwig queried as I stepped outside.
“Yes they are.” I muttered, “…Mr. Marv only has one eye.”

I stepped off the veranda and into the streets of Saruwatari City. I briefly pondered what was the significance of all of Furudo’s cities having decidedly Japanese names, before realising that I still didn’t have an excuse for my tardiness.
“What do you think, Leaves,” I questioned my comrade, “Should I use the excuse that I lost a limb?”
“Saur…” Leaves grunted, motioning toward the fact that I did actually have all of my limbs intact.
“Well umm,” I said, tapping my chin, “I lost a limb… then found it?”
Leaves groaned, and looked down at the ground, ashamed of being around me.
“How about, I thought that somebody had cloned me, and I had to fight off my clone to make sure that he didn’t take my job interview, but then I realised that this clone was in actual fact the mirror, and I promptly laughed at this mistake, but then I realised that the floor was now covered with shards of mirror, and in order to clean this mirror-covered floor, I had to enlist the assistance of a Brazilian poet by the name of Moopé, but before Moopé would clean my floor he requested that I make the world know that his name has an accent on the E, so his name is not Moope, so I had to hand out flyers around the town and everyone was now aware of the presence of Moopé who became famous so we flew around the world in his jet plane then when I returned I found to my astonishment that Moopé had actually forgotten to clean my floor in the first place.”
I stumbled back and forth, trying to catch my breath. “How’s that one?”
Leaves shook his head and walked ahead.
I sighed, and nodded in agreement. “He’s right; I would never trust a Brazilian poet.”

Then, I heard it. The sound. That one, unmistakable sound from the bushes. The incredible sound that would change my week in ways that I couldn’t imagine, not even if I tried really, really hard to imagine it.

“Cyndaquil!”

I whipped my head in the direction of the bush in question. When I saw it, I gasped so deeply that I swallowed three flies and a Venomoth.
“IT’S A MINTYTHRILL!!” I bellowed. “A MINTYTHRILL, I SAY!!!”
The Mintythrill tilted its head to the side slightly, and twitched its nose. I took this as indication that it was aggressive, because bad things happen when noses twitch. Bewitched proved that much.
I grabbed a Pokésphere from my belt, though I didn’t have a clue which one. Quietly, anxiously, I dropped it to the ground.
“Go… Cubone/Klepto/Ampharos/Agwa/Mr. Marv.” I said, though it sounded a lot less clever than I had hoped.
“Cubone!” the unmistakable cry of my bony companion rang across the street, before he fell to the ground, gasping for air.
“Hmm, maybe I should let you out more often than once a month, eh?” I said sheepishly, and pointed at the Mintythrill. “There is your target, Cubone! Succeed in this mission, and you will be rewarded with praise and gold and many leggy women who all think you’re swell!”

Cubone shot to his feet and span his bone around as only he could. Really impressively, that is.
“Alrighty then Cubone,” I commanded, “Start things off with a, umm… A big ol’…” I stood there for a couple seconds, when I was hit with the sad realisation that I was seriously out of practice. Even reliable little Cubone looked a little soft around the mid-section after months of inactivity.
“Hit him with your bone.” I said in a tone that made it sound like a really cunning command.
Cubone dutifully ran up and smacked Mintythrill upside the head with his bone. He then ran back to my side and waited for the opposer to retaliate.
“I will never figure out why y’all keep doing that.” I said, annoyed, “How’s about instead of hitting him then letting him hit you, we hit him, then hit him… again?”
Cubone looked up at me, aghast. He had never heard of such a tactic before. Was such an action legal in Pokémon battles? Would it cause a real-life glitch, where Cubone is turned into a mere collection of distorted pixels, the world would skip in a repetitive loop and I would be proclaimed by all to be a ‘1337 haX0r’?
Regardless, Cubone did as I instructed, and to our astonishment, all continued as normal. I just might’ve uncovered the key to victory in Pokémon battles… Hit them twice!

“Ill…” The Mintythrill snarled, and rather than assume that it was sick, I took this as indication that it was pretty unhappy with us.
It took in a deep breath, took aim for its imminent flaming fury and fired… in my direction.
“Ohhhhh geez!!” I bellowed, scrambling about like a maniac. I dropped to the ground and rolled around like a rolling maniac. Before long, the flames died out and I looked up at Cubone.
“He just might’ve uncovered another key to victory in Pokémon battles… Kill the trainer.”
I coughed out a puff of smoke and looked up. The Mintythrill had cleared off and I had no doubt lost another twenty minutes worth of time to get to my interview.
This was getting to be one of those days…
********************************
I stumbled through the doors of Big Gib’s Pokémon Ranch, and marched up to the reception desk. A very bemused secretary named Anna looked up at me.
“Hello dear,” she said merrily, “What are you doing here?”
“My name is Tony Chambers, and I’m here for the interview with Big Gib.” I answered, trying to keep my composure.
“Why Mr. Chambers, I didn’t recognise you there!” Anna said in a surprised tone, “Your face and clothes are all charred…”
I had failed to notice that, as always, being lit on fire caused myself to be covered in inexplicable darkness. Praise the lord for children’s animation and their inability to portray serious injury.
“I went to the black store.” I said slowly, “I bought myself some black. Now could I see Big Gib today?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Chambers.” Anna said, smiling sweetly, “Step right through that door there. And enjoy your black, sir.”

I nodded politely (though I don’t know how exactly you would define a ‘polite’ nod), before stepping through the nearby doorway into the darkened office of Big Gib. I walked slowly so as not to bump into anything; it was either poorly lit or really well unlit, depending on how you look at it.
“You have arrived, my pretty!” a commanding voice boomed, and I squinted to see whether it was Big Gib, or a nearby enthusiast. I wiped the blackness away from my face.
“Yes, yes I have, sir.” I said in a nervous voice, “My name is Tony Chambers, and I’m here to-”
“I know who you are, I know what you are here for, I know what you had for breakfast, I know all!” the person continued, “You really don’t know much about the powers of Big Gib, do you darling?”
I put a puzzled expression on my face. Was this guy hitting on me or something?

“I’m afraid I don’t really know much about your powers…” I replied, playing along, “But I would like to gain employment to this fine establishment so that I could possibly learn about these powers?”
With that, the lights turned on all around the room and I blinked rapidly to adjust. I took in the surroundings. Pictures on the wall, dark red carpet, desk… but there didn’t seem to be anyone behind it.
Curiously, I walked up to the desk, and when I got close, a tiny little man leapt up from behind it atop the desk. I fell back to the floor, startled.
“I am Big Gib!” he announced, adjusting his white cowboy hat and matching white coat, if for no other reason than so I could mention them. “My powers are not something to be underestimated, you realise…”
“Yes of course,” I muttered, not at all impressed, “Your powers of shin kicking are not to be denied…”
Gib leapt onto my chest, and I hit my head as I fell back to the floor.

“Do you toy with me, little boy?” he said, twisting his expression.
“Not at all, sir!” I gulped, “Unless you like toys… I’ve got lots of toys at home, would you like me to go get them?”
Gib looked at me for a minute, before laughing in his deep, throaty tone. “Very well then, child.” He guffawed, stepping aside, “You know, I like you.”
“Well I like you too Mr. Gib,” I said as I stood up and brushed off my coat, “But I think we should just remain friends. Relationships in the workplace never work out, y’know?”
Gib sat back down behind his desk and once more I couldn’t see him there. Only his hat was visible, and as he breathed deeply, I half-expected the hat to just spring to life and take over the conversation on his behalf. That would be really cool. I wouldn’t mind working for a hat.
“Young’un, you are not currently qualified to take this job at the Pokémon Ranch.” He said solemnly, and I immediately slapped the table in protest.
“Whaddya mean I ain’t qualified?” I demanded, “I know all the ins and outs and otherwises of being a Pokémon Ranch…er.”
Actually, what did I know about working at a Pokémon Ranch? I wondered, …while we’re at it, what in the hell is a Pokémon Ranch, anyway? Is it some kind of farm? Or a camp of some sort? Maybe it’s a brothel? And if so, how much would it cost?

“Precious, to work with Big Gib, you have to be champion.” Gib broke my rather bizarre train of thought with that statement.
“Are you saying that all of the people who work for you are… champions?” I muttered, confused.
“Yes, indeed.” He replied, leaning back in his chair. Or that’s what I assume from where his hat was moving.
“What about the receptionist?”
“She’s a champion swimmer.”
“That lanky guy who’s employee of the month?”
“Champion typist.”
“The janitor?”
“Champion boxer.”
“How about you?”
“Champion lover.”
“Yuck, sir.”

Gib launched himself back atop the table to look me in the eye, “I have heard however, that at one point you managed to become the second-best trainer in Furudo?” he said, rubbing his chin.
“Technically.” I replied, placing my hands behind my head, “I mean, I’m sure there were people who were better than me, but I got really lucky and managed to bash a lot of innocent Pokémon until unfortunately I had to engage in an actual Pokémon battle with someone and he beat me like salami on meat day. And no, don’t take that the wrong way, Mr. Gib.”
“Frankly my dear, I want you…” Gib just let it out, and I stumbled backwards.
“Oh get off it man! I will not perform lewd acts of much unpleasantness to get this job…” I groaned, then pondered for a moment, “How about Leaves? I’m sure he’d love to be your boyfriend. He’s a little pointy and green, but he’s lovable and warm, and when he says ‘shut up’ it’s a good thing…”
“I want you to work for me.” Gib finished, leaving me to stand there awkwardly. Perhaps I should’ve let him complete his sentence. In my defence though, it could’ve gotten worse from there on…

“And how would you suggest I become a champion, sir?” I said, trying to regain composure, “Will I take the title of ‘champion second placer before getting beaten by a scary man with the surname of Kong’?”
“No my boy,” Gib said, sounding excited, “You will be champion! You will beat the Kong who wronged you!!”
“Do you have enough quarters for the Donkey Kong machine, sir?” I queried, seeing this job as within my grasp.
“No no, dear,” he laughed with a twinkle in his eye, “You will defeat Lamont Kong and become the champion of Furudo!!”
“I was worried you would say that…” I groaned, “Look, that was a long time ago, I’m not so sure how I’d fare, and either way, I don’t have time to take on the Elite Door or whatever…”
“Not to worry.” Gib replied, “You see, I’ve already organised the big rematch between you and Lamont. He quite enthusiastically accepted the offer… A twelve-on-twelve battle, winner take all!”
“So if I win, I become champion…” I said gleefully, “That’s pretty cool. …Hey, what does Kong get if he wins?”
“Your soul.” Gib answered in a deadpan tone.
“Ah. I see.” I muttered, “Best not lose this match, then.”

With that, I tore out of the office, out the front door, and stood proudly at the top of the stairs at the entryway. There on the banister I spotted Leaves, who had obviously been waiting for me. Or waiting for someone to steal something from.
“Leaves my boy,” I shouted, “We’re coming out of retirement! We’ve got to train up so we can beat Lamont Kong, become Pokémon champion of Furudo and sell a whole truckload of PIDGECICLES!!”
“Shut up!” he replied, a grin on his face.
“Shut up, indeed!” I smiled, and stepped forward. Too far forward, in fact, as I tumbled down the stairs and landed on the concrete with a thud.
“…The legend continues.” I moaned, as I heard Leaves cackling from above.
This was getting to be one of those days… One of those days of glory!!

classy_cat18
12th November 2005, 10:06 PM
Oookay. You sure made up an original Fakemon when you made up Lebresaur. And all he can say is "shut up"? Ha ha!

I liked the interaction between Tony and Big Gib. I'm looking forward to the battle between Tony and Lamont, although it might be a while.

Drago
26th November 2005, 12:51 AM
classy_cat18: I would think you're right about it being a while before Tony takes on Lamont. I have absolutely NO idea what's going to happen there. Always good to see I'm prepared, eh? :heh:

Here's chapter two(ish), and I would like to say, isn't Lamont an excellent name? Suits the character quite well, methinks. This here's a picture of Lamont (http://bengals.enquirer.com/2002/04/20/thompson_150x200.jpg), and yes, I know what you're all thinking.

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 2
Doofdoof Confrontation

Anxious to return to the exciting world of Pokémon training, I barrelled toward the house and threw the door open, causing Megan and James to look in my direction, alarmed.
“I’m back, baby!” I bellowed, dancing a mad little jig. So I wouldn’t look stupid, Leaves danced a jig of his own, though it looked more like he had a bad itch.
“Did you get the job?” Megan asked hopefully.
“Potentially…” I said with a flourish, “All I’ve got to do is beat the one man who I could never overcome before! …Though, that sounded easier when I ran it through my head.”
“You’re not going to try to fight Father Time again, are you?” James groaned, making me think back to that fateful day.
“No, no…” I said, shaking my head, “That punk never showed up for our fight. And yet, he still won through technical knockout… Damned crooked floorboards.” I stood there bitterly, “So, umm, where’s Ludwig?”
“He’s behind the door.” James muttered, and I looked behind the door to find the unfortunate kid pinned against the wall.
“It’s not safe to hide behind doors, y’know.” I instructed in another valuable lesson. I peeled Ludwig off the wall and threw him aside so I could hang up my coat.

“But we’ve got more important matters to attend to!” I announced, “I’m gonna take on Lamont Kong tomorrow and win and not lose and not get a draw and not have the match cancelled on account of rain… But first I’ve got to train!”
“So why’d you come back here?” James asked, “If you’ve only got a day to train, shouldn’t you start now?”
“Well, umm…” I muttered quietly, “Megan, sweetie, honey, baby doll?”
“You’re not getting my doubuckle, Tony.” Megan said sternly, and I fell to the floor like a whiny child.
“Aww come on, Megan!” I whimpered, “I need twelve Pokémon for this match and you know that I can’t carry that many unless I’ve got the doubuckle I never got from Yamashuta City…”
I grabbed the still flattened Ludwig from the floor, “How could you say no to this face? This sad, flat little face?”
“Tony, the doubuckle is a very precious item to me,” Megan said in a serious tone, “It proved that I could beat my father, even though I was starting from the point where most trainers finish. I worked hard with my Pokémon day and night to earn my right of way… I fought long and I fought hard, until finally, I took down the last of dad’s mighty Pokémon… And I took the one object that symbolised-”
“Uhh, Megan?” James muttered, tapping her on the shoulder, “Tony left three minutes ago. He took the doubuckle with him.”
Megan groaned and looked at the floor, “I’m becoming more and more like him…”
“Scary.” James chortled, before returning to his paper.
********************************
I stabbed a couple buttons on the mobile phone, trying to remember Professor Gum’s number. Additionally, I hoped that it didn’t have any 9’s, because my phone still lacked a 9 button.
“Hey Leaves,” I said, and he looked up, “Do you remember Professor Gum’s phone number?”
“Leb, leb, saur, res, saur, saur, res.” He replied and stared at me.
“You have seriously got to learn more words…” I groaned.
“Shut up.” He snapped back, finally using the phrase in the correct context.
I looked down at the phone, and glancing at the numbers, something formulated in my mind. A familiar number… could it have been Gum’s?
I dialled the number and put the phone to my ear. It was ringing.
“Success!” I bubbled, “I’ve managed to remember the number for my valued comrade, the one and only…”
“CHAMBERS!” a voice bellowed from the other end, and I immediately knew that I had dialled an accursed number.
“Oh god no!” I wailed, “It’s Mr. Michaels, my landlord from Burake Town whose a smelly old man who hates me and hates everyone else in general, and I think I ripped him off a couple times while being on this Pokémon adventure!”
I looked around. Surely anyone who was standing nearby was now filled in.

Frantically, I threw the phone away into the distance.
“Good riddance…” I muttered, before realising that it had reappeared in my hand.
“You can’t escape me that easily, Chambers!” Mr. Michaels roared from the other end, “So why did you call? Are you ready to pay off the late fees? Did you finally find a stinkin’ wish-granting Pokémon? Are you going to return that photo of mine? Is the painting ready? Are you gonna pick up the Diglett corpse from your bedroom?”
I bit my tongue gingerly. I really had to stop killing my own Pokémon…
“No, Mr. Michaels, I actually wanted to know if you knew Professor Gum’s phone number?” I asked sweetly.
“Huh, you wanna talk to Gum, eh?” Mr. Michaels chuckled, “It’s just your luck, he happens to be here with me… But first, you gotta do something for me!”
I groaned, and grabbed Ampharos’ Pokésphere. I dropped it to the ground and the prima donna launched out. She fiddled with her necklace and adjusted her mink stole before grabbing the phone from my hand.
“Phar, amph ros, phar…” she said into the phone in a snooty tone. It was beyond me why Mr. Michaels was obsessed with Ampharos, or why Ampharos was similarly enamoured with Mr. Michaels. It was also beyond me what in the hell she was saying, though I hoped it wasn’t anything dirty.

After the conversation, Ampharos handed me back the phone and laughed merrily. She sprayed some perfume on herself while I returned her to the Pokésphere.
I put the phone back to my ear. “Hello, Tony!” Professor Gum said from the other end and I fiddled around my pockets for the reference notepad.
“I would like to withdraw some Pokémon, Professor…” I said while searching for the notepad.
“Absolutely!” Professor Gum replied, “Just give me their classification numbers and I’ll send them on over.”
“Dammit…” I snapped, giving up on finding the notepad, “I’ll just have to try and remember the numbers myself. Alright, send over #7845, #1911, #4760, #5102, #7214 and #9001.”
“Will do. They’ll be coming through your phone at any minute.” Professor Gum said warmly, “Best of luck, Tony.”
“Thank you.” I said with a smile and looked over toward Leaves. He seemed to be running away for some reason.
“What’s wrong, Leaves?” I yelled, before I remembered something frightening, “Hey, did he just say they’d come-” At that point, a Pokésphere shot out of the phone and hit me in the face.
“Owww!” I whined, as numbers two and three followed suit, hitting me in each eye. I dropped the phone to the ground and ran away as the fourth one shot me in the back. After running a fair distance, I turned toward the phone.
“I think it’s safe from here…” I panted. There was a brief silence, before the fifth ball hit me atop the head.
“Yeeeeeeeeoww!!” I cried, “It doesn’t get anymore painful than that…”
Inevitably, the final Heavy Ball launched out at an impressive speed, and hit me in the groin.
I fell to the ground and could hear only one familiar sound… Leaves laughing in the distance.
“I hate you so much!!” I squeaked, “Just for that, no dinner for the next three weeks!”
“Aww…” Leaves whined, displaying another term from his pitiful vocabulary.

I gathered myself, my Pokéspheres and some teeth that I had lost, before trekking toward Mt. Doofdoof. Nothing quite like a big ol’ rock named by a collection of wogs to get training started.
Once we were at the base of the mountain, I let out all of my Pokémon.
“Leb, SAUR!” Leaves commanded, lining up the ranks.
I looked proudly over my twelve fierce warriors. Leaves… Cubone… Klepto… Ampharos… Agwa… (wake up you stupid Skitty!!)… Mr. Marv… Doom the Breloom ghost… my unnamed blind Kabutops… Soup the overweight Larvitar chef… Kuda, the Golduck given to me by long-time rival Kyle Riddells… Dagger the affectionate Aggron… Uncle Terrell the uncle from my father’s side…
“Uncle Terrell?” I groaned, “Would you stop climbing into the Pokéspheres already?”
“Hey,” he snapped accusingly, walking away, “You’re the one who called for #5102!”
I sighed, annoyed. I looked over my eleven fierce warriors, then.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” I roared, marching back and forth, “No doubt you all remember the crushing defeat we faced at the hand of Lamont Kong…”
The reply was a chorus of Pokémon boos.
“We have the opportunity tomorrow to rise up against our oppressor, to fix the inadequacies of our life, to be the very best within a 30-mile radius!!” I continued, “The training will be long, the training will be hard and the training will be gruelling…”
Again, a chorus of boos arose.
“But we must be strong and brave and we must do it for our country!! For Furudo! …Wait, I think you’re French, aren’t you Soup?” I pointed up toward the top of the mountain, “Now jog up that trail to the top of Mt. Doofdoof… FOR FRANCE!!”
And off my Pokémon ran… Klepto clumsily stumbled up as fast as his short Xatu claws would carry him, Soup lumbered behind downing a sandwich, Kabutops barrelled into a wall and Agwa rolled over, snoring.
“…This is gonna be strange.”
********************************
After a long period of organization and applying the Heimlich manoeuvre to Soup, I was leading the team up the mountain trail.
“What do we want?”
“Golduck!” “Skitty!” “Shut up!”
“When do we want it?”
“Cubone!” “Xatu!” “NEVER!!”
“Stop that, Leaves!” I whined, “You’re throwing us off…”
I rounded the final bend before we had finally reached the end of the trail. I sat on a rock and waited for my Pokémon to follow. And bit by bit, they made it there, in a fairly predictable order. Leaves, Kuda, Doom and Cubone led the pack, Klepto and Ampharos lumbered up afterwards, Mr. Marv dragged Agwa along with him and Kabutops finally found her way, albeit covered in bruises.
“Where in the hell are Soup and Dagger?” I groaned, in a sentence that sounded somewhat Shakespearean.
I looked over the ledge and spotted Dagger climbing up the side of the rock wall. Soup was sitting atop his head.

“Dammit, Dagger!” I cried as he reached the top, “That’s CHEATING!!”
“Growww!” Dagger roared enthusiastically, as Soup handed me a piece of candy to console me. I chewed it down, and then stood up.
“Well, I guess that just about does it, eh?” I said casually, before I noticed someone trekking up the mountain behind us.
Oh go away, Uncle Terrell!

“I think you need some more training, Tony…” came the response to a question I never asked.
“What?” I said, squinting, “Megan??”
It was indeed Megan who stood before us, with a Pokésphere in hand. “You lost to Lamont a long time ago. Don’t you think he’ll have gotten stronger since then?”
“Why?” I gasped, “Has he been working out?”
“I meant stronger as a trainer.” Megan muttered, “…But now that I think about it, I think he has been working out, actually. You know, he was kinda cute…”
“Excuse me!” I whined, “You love ME, remember? Everybody loves me! Leaves loves me, don’t you?”
Leaves peered up at me. “No.” he replied.
“I liked you better when you couldn’t talk scattered English…” I grumbled and looked back at Megan.
“How about a three-on-three match?” Megan asked, grabbing her spheres.

I thought over this briefly. You know, what if I just said no? I wonder if it would be awkward the rest of the day? Would we just kinda walk down the mountain quietly then eat dinner then go to sleep or something? Hey, it might be kinda cool to actually avoid battle…
But alas, Dagger, Kuda and Kabutops had already stepped forward, foiling my devious plan of doing nothing. In response, Megan unleashed her Abra, Machop and Krabby.
“Why don’t you let those things evolve already?” I groaned, in an argument we had had several times in the past.
“Oh, because they’re so cuuuute!” Megan cooed, “And I save hundreds of dollars a year getting them children’s fare on the bus.”
“Touché.” I sighed and looked over the opposition.

“Alright team, focus your offence on Machop!” I commanded, and Machop looked at me as though I had just sentenced him to death. Indeed, my fierce collection of rocks and a duck advanced on the undersized adversary like hungry… rocks and a duck.
“Machop, use Seismic Toss!” Megan commanded. Machop quickly scrambled up to Kuda, lifted the shocked Golduck over his head and promptly threw her over the edge of the mountain.
“Jesus!!” I shouted, “That’s going a bit far, doncha think??”
“You’re right…” Megan gulped, watching Kuda plummet toward the ground below, “Sorry Kuda!!”
Regardless, I had a match to win. Kuda’s funeral could wait. “Kabutops, use Absorb!”
Kabutops nodded, before absorbing the health of whomever she could find nearby. I watched on enthusiastically, waiting for the opponents to drop to the ground. Then, there was a thud. I looked over at Dagger, who had tumbled over.
“Oh well done, Kabutops…” I groaned, “Was Dagger’s HP tasty?”
Lacking any other options, Kabutops just nodded nonchalantly.

“Your turn, Krabby!” Megan said confidently, “Use Bubble!”
Krabby frothed at the mouth for a couple seconds, before launching off a barrage of bubbles that dampened Kabutops. The blind Pokémon bellowed in pain.
“Aww geez, sucks that rock is weak to water.” I gulped, “Kabutops, get those bubbles off of you any way you can!”
Kabutops shot a blast of Hydro Pump into the air, which washed over her and cleared away all the bubbles. Which was good… except for the fact that Hydro Pump was a stronger water attack.
“Baaaaa!!” Kabutops wailed, slashing around before she collapsed. I slapped myself in the head and my remaining Pokémon did the same. Though Leaves and Agwa actually found the situation funny.
“You’re through, Tony…” Megan announced, “This battle against Lamont will never-”

Before she could finish the no doubt insulting sentence, Dagger rose to his feet, ready to deliver one last offensive.
“Haha! Dagger lives! LIVES, I SAY!!” I cried triumphantly, “So now, Dagger… USE FIRE BLAST!!”
Dagger began heating up, and his metallic flesh took on a red hue. He shook fiercely, before finally, he launched off the almighty Fire Blast attack. The blazing flames engulfed Megan’s trio of Pokémon, and I backed away from the intense heat.
“Woo! Go Dagger, it’s your birfday! We gonna party like it’s your birfday, I didn’t buy you anything for your birfday, ‘cause I don’t know the day of your birfday!” I cheered, doing a dance that was either hip to the groove or indicative that I had a weasel in my trousers.

When the smoke cleared, I keenly noted that all of Megan’s Pokémon were still standing, largely unaffected.
“Umm, sweetie?” Megan said quietly, “What do you think an Aggron’s special attack statistic is?”
I stood there for a moment. “Last time I checked, Aggron had a special attack stat of three.” Megan looked me in the eye, and I pieced together that this three was, alas, not out of five.
“Krabby, use Crabhammer!” Megan commanded, and Krabby dutifully scrambled around Dagger. The Aggron could only swing around clumsily, trying to catch the quicker little Pokémon. Krabby climbed its way up to Dagger’s face and pinched the horn above his eyes. At that, Dagger began crying.
“Cheap!! Cheap!!” I babbled, hopping up and down, “You pinched his nosey! Where’s the penalty flag? I want to see a FLAG!!”

Dagger rolled around on the ground and pulled out a white flag. He waved it about in defeat.
“Well thank you, Mr. Literal…” I groaned and fell to the ground. Megan walked over and sat next to me.
“You need to remember, Tony, your Pokémon have forgotten how to fight.” she said helpfully, “They need to know that they can trust you to do what’s right for them. …Do you really think that this rematch with Lamont is the right thing?”
“I dunno.” I sighed and sat up, “I guess I’ll have to give it some serious thought.” I stood up and looked over at Abra, who had been sitting there silently the whole time.
“And just what did you do in that battle?” I snapped. He shrugged, and grabbed a flag of his own which read ‘go team’.
“Spiffy…” I grumbled, and returned my Pokémon to their Pokéspheres. We all huddled around Abra, who teleported us to the bottom of Mt. Doofdoof.

I looked down at the disheartened Leaves, and asked, “Do you think we could beat Lamont Kong this time?”
He shrugged and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I sighed, then noticed there was something blue in a nearby bush. I ran over and found that it was Kuda in there.
“Gollll…” she groaned, twitching slightly.
“Yes!!” I cheered, “Kuda’s alive!! The Pokémon death toll remains at four!!”
I returned her to her Pokésphere and looked off into the distance at nothing in particular.
“Is this rematch a good idea?” I quietly asked my all-knowing god. After a moment, I shook the magic 8-ball I held in my hand and looked inside for the response.
In its infinite wisdom, it informed me, ‘doubt it’.
“Yeah,” I muttered and placed it aside, “That sounds pretty accurate…”

classy_cat18
30th November 2005, 08:24 PM
Ha ha ha! I forgot all about this new chapter! Man, I really thought that Kuda was dead! That drop from the top of Mt. Doofdoof sure did sound lethal. And Leaves's vocabulary is getting funnier too.

*holds up flag saying "Keep Writing!*

Mew Trainer Rose
3rd December 2005, 10:45 AM
*Falls over laughing* YAY! I loved Minty Thrill! And now we get to see even more random antics of our favorite disfunctonal trainer and his band of misfit pokemon! *grabs pop corn, soda and a large foam"#" hand, then sits and watches the fic eagerly.*

Drago
10th December 2005, 07:28 PM
classy_cat18: Yeah, I was considering giving Kuda the chop, but then I recalled just how much I love Golducks. They're great!! I couldn't kill her off...
Mew Trainer Rose: Hooray! It's nice to see one of my first readers back... :) Good to know you'll be tuning into the random antics. *grabs popcorn* What? I'm hungry.

Now then, I personally like this chapter. What does that mean? Well, it's suitably zany. Yes, zany.

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 3
Chambers Vs. Kong… TOOOONIGHT!!

“In…” I announced, inhaling an ungodly amount of oxygen. I held it for a couple seconds, before releasing. “Out…”
It was 5 AM. Sixteen hours before I took on Kong. It was amazing how I had come back into the situation that I had found myself in so long ago and even more amazing that I was awake at 5 AM. I never knew there was such a thing.

I looked deep into the mirror, hoping that seeing such impressive imagery would rally me up to have the confidence to win. Alas, the Tony Chambers who stared back did not have the look of a winner. Good thing he wasn’t participating in today’s match, I suppose.
“What do you see?” I asked myself in a quiet, enigmatic tone, “I see pride. I see passion. I see some kind of… pimple thing…” I leant closer to the mirror, “Actually, just what is that? Some kind of growth? Ewwww…”

My moment of solitude and discovery was cut short as Megan awoke with an annoyed grunt.
“Anthony, what are you doing?” she asked, her voice raspy, “Do you know what time it is?”
“5 AM.” I replied, “I said that in the second paragraph.”
“Dwelling on your match with Lamont isn’t going to help you win,” Megan continued and sat up. She flicked on her bedside lamp, creating a dull light. “You’re just going to worry yourself.”
I turned toward her and shrugged, “Would you prefer I just dwell in bed?”
“That’s disgusting…” she said with a frown.
“I thought you would’ve been used to sleeping with me by now.” I said, also frowning.
“No, I meant that pimple thing on your face.” Said Megan, as she leant closer, “Actually, just what is that? Some kind of growth? Ewwwwww…”
I could tell she wasn’t impressed. Her ‘eww’ was two ‘w’s longer.

“Would you like to talk about the match?” she asked sweetly.
“Nah, I don’t confide in others all that well,” I said, and motioned toward the mirror, “Only person I trust is this guy staring back at me right here…”
I looked merrily at the mirror and nearly leapt out of my skin when I noticed James was in the reflection, standing at the doorway with an unhappy glare.
“What are you two rambling about at this hour?” he snapped in a delightfully Scrooge-like way, “You neglect to note; these walls are made of paper and I am in the very next room!”
“Sorry, Jimmy…” Megan apologised on our behalf, “Tony’s just nervous about the match, and he figures that the only way he can cope is by talking to the mirror.”
James sighed sympathetically, if such a thing could be done.
“Honestly, Tony, you’re at a serious disadvantage,” he said, “But blathering on about it is not going to help. You need to make some changes.”

“I am making changes!” I shot back accusingly, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways! And no message could have been any clearer; if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself then make a change!”
James shook his head while Megan giggled quietly.
“You’ve got to take this seriously, Tony.” James said sternly.
“But I was…” I muttered, “Michael Jackson had a lot of issues… Don’t you think that if he had told the man in his mirror not to mess around, he would still be alive today?”
“Michael Jackson IS alive.” James groaned.
“Terrifying. Now I’ll never get back to sleep…” I said with a shudder, “Who honestly expects to hear that at 5 AM?”
James went back to his room as I crawled into bed. Megan flicked off the lamp and I dejectedly shuffled as far from her as I could.
“You know, I really, really was serious there.” I moaned mournfully.
“I know you were,” Megan replied, though she was still trying to hold back her laughter, “And if it makes you feel any better you should know that… you are not alone. I am here with you. Though you’re far away, I am here to stay…”
“Oh shut up, Megan.” I snapped, throwing the blanket over my head.
********************************
The day progressed in a way that struck me as odd. It was as though everything was designed to remind me of my impending defeat. The morning paper had the rematch right in the headlines of page 75 (listed as ‘The rematch between Lamont Kong and Anthony Changers’), out the window I could see Pokémon trainers toting Pokémon similar to those Kong would wield, even my sandwich looked suspiciously like Lamont. Tasted like him, too.

I sat atop the bed, trying to center myself. Not spiritually, but actually on the bed itself. Seemed like a good way to kill time.
“Leaves, my confidant…” I called the Lebresaur to my side, and clutched him closely, much to his detest. “I hope you know that, win or lose, you will always be the champion in my heart. We’ve been together for so long and been through so much… Remember the time we dressed up like women and hit the street corner?”
Leaves looked at me, wide-eyed as ever. “Hmm, maybe I did that one alone. Anyway, the point is, you could’ve been there, and I’m happy to know that.”

I leapt to my feet and hopped up and down like Rocky Balboa with a pogo stick.
“I just KNOW we can do this!!” I shouted, “My soul’s a-burnin’! My spirit’s in the right place! The psychic hotline said that I ‘should expect good changes today’!”
I stopped jumping and looked over at Leaves, “Incidentally, when James pays the phone bill, that was Megan’s idea. Right? Right.”
I walked out into the hall, Leaves by my side. Realising James, Megan and Ludwig weren’t about; I headed outside into the crisp evening air.
“I really am nervous about this match, though…” I said, and Leaves snorted in response.
“Eh?” I muttered, noting the sarcastic snort, “I suppose you’re right… All I have to do is stand on the sideline, yelling commands, bellowing support and getting the occasional close-up, while you’re actually out there, battling against all descriptions of terrifying bears, boulders, magnets, mimes and the like. Seriously, I don’t know how you do it, little buddy. To have to go out there and fight for your life, just because your trainer told you to? It’s inspiring… Thanks for the wake-up call, Leaves!”
He snorted again, and then sneezed. It seems he was actually just cold.
“Oh.” I muttered and handed him a handkerchief. “Forget I said all that, then.”

James’ car turned around the corner and slowed in front of me. He rolled down the window and smiled. “You ready?”
“Ready as I’m going to be…” I said with a sigh. Leaves and I got in the car and I looked down at my feet as we began to drive.
Here I am… Soon I’ll be thrown into the chaos that is Pokémon battling after months of retirement. I may never be the same again…

We stopped at a red light and there was nervous silence. James turned on the radio and Vanilla Ice’s Ninja Rap filled the car.
“Ooooooh, I love this song!!” I cheered, “Go ninja, go ninja, go! Go ninja, go ninja, go! GO! GO! GO!”
SCREEEEEECH… BANG!

Alas, the motorbike next to us was operated by a ninja, who suddenly tore off ahead into oncoming traffic at my advice.
I peered nervously out the window at the collection of automobiles that were now in awful shape.
“Aww Hölle.” I gulped.
********************************
We stood before the impressive Champion’s Stadium and I felt my breath escape from my body. The spotlights tilted back and forth in an endless loop, the parking lot was crammed full of vehicles and the stadium itself had had a paint job. It was now ORANGE!!
“Wooooowww!!” I cried gleefully, “Megan, get the camera. Can you take a photo with me and the wall?”
Before she could however, we were approached by a huge bald dude wearing a suit that looked big enough to live in. Assuming of course, you didn’t mind living in an article of clothing. His massive, hulking figure made me assume that Godzilla and Arnold Schwarzenegger had had a child. Again.

“Mr. Chambers?” he asked, and I meekly nodded, “We’ve got a couple teaser matches going on right now while you get ready. If you’ll come with me, I’ll show you to your locker room.”
“IF I come with you…” I said with a grin, “If I didn’t, would you come looking for me? We could make a game of it!”
He responded by grabbing me by the arm and dragging me toward the stadium.
“Well then, thank you…” I muttered, and looked at his nametag, “Bridget?”
I looked suitably confused by this moniker. “Isn’t Bridget a woman’s name?”
Bridget looked down at me, a vein protruding from his forehead. “I AM a woman.”
“Oh, dude!” I cried and pulled my arm away. Despite this, I would still refer to Bridget as ‘he’. Just in case he changed his mind, or something.

Bridget led us toward an oddly shaped door in a dark area of the parking lot.
“Competitors through this door.” He announced.
James put his hand on my shoulder, “Show ‘em what you’re made of, pal!”
I smiled enthusiastically, then noted the binoculars he had in his hand. “You won’t need those in the front row, James…” I said, bemused.
“I’ve heard the referee’s a really hot chick.” He replied, “I reckon I could get a better look at her pair of-”
“Shoes.” I cut James off, looking down at Ludwig, “James wants to see her pair of shoes, Ludwig.”
“No,” Ludwig said, confused, “James wants to look at the ref’s boobs.”
I eyed James, trying to figure out what he was teaching the youth, as Megan took me in her arms.

We kissed for a couple seconds… That’s right, Megan and I KISSED. Tony Chambers and a chick, kissing. Doesn’t sound right, does it? Well, tough. Tony’s got hisself a BROAD and he knows how to use it!!
She looked at me, smiling her charming little smile, “Good luck, sweetie. I just know you’ll do great!” She pulled me closer and whispered in my ear, “And, umm… if you have any troubles… I’ve got a rifle in the car. Just give me the signal.”
I started to question this alarming notion, but she pressed her finger against my mouth and followed after Bridget.
Ludwig took Bridget’s hand, hopping along merrily. “We killed a ninja on our way here!” he announced.
“I’m sure you did, little guy.” Bridget replied.

I shook my head as the notion dawned upon me. I had the most messed up collection of friends in the entire world.
“With that, Leaves, shall we?” I opened the door and we walked inside. I looked around, noting that there were in fact four corridors in front of me. Those weren’t there last time I was here… I began to panic, before I noticed a collection of odd, silver devices hanging from the wall. I grabbed one and flipped it open. Inside it was a note.

Challengers may use the Pokédex DS to navigate the stadium and collect information during your battles. You can also play Mario Kart® DS Wi-Fi to race against competitors across the world!!

I threw the note aside. In retrospect, it was quite lengthy in relation to the size of the machine. Regardless, I turned it on and the two screens lit up.
“This is cool!” I bubbled, “Leaves, it’s a PSP!!”
He let out an annoyed groan as I fiddled with the back of the device. I pulled out an odd pencil that lacked any lead. What a useless pencil it was!!
I threw it aside, and then poked the bottom screen. A warning came up onscreen; Do not to use your filthy hands to activate the touch screen. Please use the included free stylus.

“Oh, I should use the f-f-f-f-free stylus?” I chortled, “Rock the microphone, it’s a free stylus!” I looked down at Leaves to see if he had found the stylus, but instead he was just fiddling with the useless pencil.
“Get it?” I continued, “Free stylus? Freestyler? Free… oh forget it.”
I poked at the screen a couple more times, until a map appeared on the bottom screen. It showed the appropriate forking path, as well as the Pokémon I had in my possession. It also reminded me that, alas, I only had one life left.
The top screen showed whatever happened to be in front of me, which seemed like a pretty useless feature. I mean, I know what’s in front of me. …IT’S CLEVERLY LOCATED IN FRONT OF ME.
I pointed the Pokédex at Leaves and pressed A. To my amusement, he jumped. He seemed less amused.

“Now then, the first path is a dead end…” I muttered, “The second path goes to a door that needs a key… The third path leads to a boss!! I guess it’s the fourth corridor, then.”
Onward I trekked down the hall, following the map closely. It was a straight path, but it seemed necessary that I heed its advice, just in case. It was a deceptively long hallway, with two huge doors at the end.
“That’d be our locker room…” I guessed, putting the Pokédex in my pocket. I grabbed one of the door handles, “Seems kinda grandiose; you’d think that this actually lead to the arena…”
I threw the doors open, and was met with a blast of light. All around, there were spectators cheering furiously. There was a moat surrounding a massive raised floor, covered in dirt. Sharp rocks were scattered about the floor. Standing there were two kids, and between them were a Sortagoodo and a Hairymoss.
“Wow…” I muttered, “This is a really big locker room.”
Nearby, I heard Leaves fall to the ground.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” an excited voice shouted over a booming loudspeaker, “In an unexpected turn of events, it seems as though Tony Chambers, the man who will be battling Lamont Kong, has called the Champion out early! What a gutsy move! Look, there’s the Champion now! It seems as though he has accepted his challenge!!”
“Oh yes, I found the arena!” I cheered, then noted something. “Oh no, I wasn’t looking for the arena! Oh yes, I’m ready to fight Kong now! Oh no, I haven’t stretched and run warm-ups! Oh yes, I found a penny! Oh no, it’s Canadian!!”

“CHAMBERS!!” Kong’s deep voice roared over a microphone, “We will now battle for the Championship!”
I knelt down toward Leaves, “I’d hate to be that Chambers guy right now…”
He sighed and pointed at me. “Ah yes.” I muttered, “I am that Chambers guy, aren’t I?”

I stepped forward onto a personal balcony overseeing the arena. Lacking any fancy microphone of my own, I just raised the Pokédex to my mouth.
“Umm, what about the kids on the arena floor right now?” I asked. To my surprise, my voice boomed around the stadium, and I kinda wished I had used more important words like ‘youths’ and ‘melancholy’. Ooh, and ‘platter’.
Kong pressed a button on his Pokédex DS and the entire arena floor flipped over, cleaning the area of any pesky Pokémon and children previously standing there. I briefly pondered where the poor lads fell to, then dismissed it when I recalled that I didn’t care.

“I will defeat you once again, Chambers!” Kong told the world, “I will take your Pokémon and destroy them. I will tear them apart limb from limb, just like I will your fragile spirit. You will once again feel the sting of defeat and return to the miserable shadows from whence you came! Then, if there’s time… We will discuss the victory over PictoChat!!”
The crowd roared furiously in support of Kong’s threats. Beads of sweat collected on my forehead, either from the light, the tension, or the chance that there was a sweat party gathering there. Leaves looked up at me, wondering how I would respond.
“Kong…” I snarled. The contemptuous name bounced off the stadium walls, “My father always told me that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all!” I looked down at the ground, “He also told me, ‘You disgust me, Anthony! Don’t you ever touch my photo with Elvis ever again! Now put on the sailor suit. …JUST PUT IT ON OR I’LL CUT THE SWITCH, ANTHONY!! I’LL DO IT!!’”
Strangely, the stadium went completely quiet. There was only the sound of a couple familiar groans.
“And umm, anyway. I’ll win because you suck.” I finished and threw my hands to the air. “Thank you and good night!”

The crowd politely applauded as I walked off the balcony following my speech. I marched proudly through the big doors, down the long hallway and out of the stadium into the parking lot.
I walked past Bridget, who grabbed me by the arm.
“Excuse me, Mr. Chambers…” he said quietly, “Shouldn’t you be in the arena right now?”
“Well…” I muttered, “I was just in the arena, but I delivered a great speech, so I had to walk away while the crowd debated on whether it carried the emotional bearing and deep-seeded aggression of a spiritual leader who could overcome…” I stopped and hung my head low. “Alright, I forgot what I was doing and accidentally left.”

He looked at me in that trademark bemused way, and I could only make one request. “Can you, umm… carry me there? I’m kinda tired.”

goldenzigzagoon
11th December 2005, 02:45 PM
HA!HA!HA! How can you come up with such funny stuff? The part with Bridget was hilarious! I can't wait for Lamont and the main character. I'm sure it will be funny.

Mew Trainer Rose
11th December 2005, 08:27 PM
XD classic Tony. You can't trust him to do anything right. Though he might get the desired outcome by doing it wrong. Like the upcoming battle, will he lose spectacularly, or win by some technicality or otherwise unexpected and unorthodox way? Only time will tell, eh?

classy_cat18
11th December 2005, 08:42 PM
Another good chapter. I loved the references to the Nintendo DS. Sounds like Lamont's almost as crazy as Tony. Looking forward to the battle.

darktyranitar
15th December 2005, 11:29 AM
Hahaha, that was seriously funny! Funny stuff are popping here and there. I couldn't stop grinning and holding back my laughter while reading this. I would laugh, but it's not 1 am...

And surprisingly, the grammars were not so broken as some of the other silly and crazy fic that were written out there.

How will ony do in the match? Maybe some bit of ramdomness will help him to win. There's a lot of funny stuff, I don't know which one to say. Alright, for this chapter, the ninja-popping was hillarious, although quite short. Keep writing, dude! And keep us laughing like mad in front of the PC!

Drago
16th January 2006, 01:58 AM
goldenzigzagoon: Heh, thanks! A lot of the dialogue is derived from actual conversations, while most of the plot points just come to me as I'm going. I had no intention of Bridget being a woman at first, just a dude named Bridget. Just seemed funnier for him to be a her.
Mew Trainer Rose: Seriously, I missed Tony in the time between MT and TT. None of my other characters in other projects have allowed such sponteniaty. I so feel like I'm tooting my own horn here. lol
classy_cat18: He may be crazy, but I love Lamont, he's kickass. I hope he wins. lol
darktyranitar: Thanks! I'm happy to know that the fic is doing is suitably funny, even after all the years since I started the original series. Gets hard coming up with new stuff. I'm glad to hear that the grammar's good, too. I'm always trying to keep things readable.

Gee golly gosh I took my sweet ass time with this chapter, didn't I? It's a historic fact that I struggle to write battles, seeing how they have to be funny and interesting all at once, it's a hectic affair. Regardless, I was able to come up with enough, too much in fact, to the point where it was too big and had to be split. This chapter details the beginning of the battle...

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 4
Fight! Fight! Fight! Argonaut!

Before long, I was back in the arena. After justifying my departure as a trip to revalidate my parking, I was facing my most hated adversary and I was ready to lose. Or win, should that actually happen.
I looked down at Leaves once again, and he looked back up at me. It was go time, in a way that it had never been go time before.

“You ready, buddy?” I asked quietly, and he responded with a self-assured nod. I placed my hand on his head and smiled. “I love you, Leaves.”
Leaves peered down for a moment, and then stared back up at me. “I…” he croaked, “I love… Leaves.”
Well, at least he agreed with this love for himself.

“So onward,” I cried, as Leaves hopped atop the railing of the trainers’ balcony, “TO GLORY!!”
Before this momentous battle, I took a moment to eye Kong, my most contemptible rival. His cold and unfeeling eyes. His dark, murky complexion. His untamed dreadlocks. His mouth locked in a confident smirk. …Hang on; was I checking this dude out or something?

Leaves looked up at me from the arena floor, nodding to indicate he was ready. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite ready myself, as a thought ran through my head;
Dammitall, I wasn’t actually planning on starting this battle with Leaves at all…
I looked around nervously. I didn’t want to look stupid or anything. But maybe all these people in the arena weren’t paying attention anyway? At a glance, it looked like at least six of them weren’t.
“Hey, umm Leaves?” I called to my confident comrade, “You know how you just leapt off a balcony onto the hard arena floor, possibly breaking some bones and risking internal bleeding? Well do you think you could… undo that?”
The response was a miserable groan, as Leaves begrudgingly walked towards a nearby ladder to the trainer’s balcony.
The audience… confused. Lamont Kong… cackling. The weather… slightly cloudy, with a chance of rain.

The natural showman within me knew that I had to entertain, as well as succeed. Every move had to seem calculated and precise. Even choosing my first Pokémon required appropriate anticipation and flair.
“Whoever will I select? It is absolutely compulsory that I make a selection best suited to victory…” I said in my best snooty actor tone, throwing a hand to my forehead, “But even then, will my selection necessarily bring the inner peace and sanctity that I require?”
What in the hell does sanctity mean, anyway? I think it’s a fruit…

I grabbed the appropriate Pokésphere, and held it out over the ledge, balancing it on my fingertips.
“This is the first Pokémon!” I shouted, “Though it shall never be the last! Never, I SAY! For this is the one Pokémon who-”
I fumbled with the ball for a moment, before it dropped over the edge and onto the arena floor.
“Aww, no fair.” I whined, as the white flash from within the ball took shape, revealing that Mr. Marv would take the floor.

Kong studied the Houndoom below him and a twisted, Grinch-like smile formed on his miserable mug. His confidence made me nervous. Though maybe it was the dreadlocks appropriately causing me dread.
If this battle didn’t go as I had hoped, I would be a laughingstock. Again. Similarly to the time that Internet geek used the term ‘lollerskates’ and I just assumed he had bad English.
Seeing Kong now, I felt as though I would be crushed under the weight of guffawing skates once more.

“It has been decided!!” Kong roared, his voice echoing through the arena.
“What? What’s been decided?” I said with a gulp, “The most eligible bachelor competition? Clearly, I have the edge over the competition… That gentleman in the ninth row has been eying me all evening.”
The accused gentleman gasped in surprise.
“Don’t deny it.” I snapped.
“No, you fool!” said Kong, interrupting the moment I had with my admirer.
“You mean…” I gasped, “I didn’t win the most eligible bachelor?” I stomped my foot angrily and shook a fist at Kong, “Who did win, then? …Mr. Marv?”
From his spot on the battleground, Mr. Marv posed proudly.
“I suppose I could concede defeat, then…” I sighed, leaning on the rail, “Mr. Marv is very soft and very cuddly… Pretty much the sexiest Houndoom I’ve ever seen.”
“SHUT UP!!” Kong bellowed, “This tirade is ridiculous!”
“Oh…” I muttered, and looked down at my feet, ashamed. I had no idea what I was talking about, I hadn’t won the most eligible bachelor after all, and I broke my New Year’s resolution that I wouldn’t call Mr. Marv sexy anymore. I had some serious issues, I suppose.

“Sirmon and Togetic will take the opening round!!” Lamont announced, releasing the opposition before Mr. Marv.
“Hang on, there’s something not quite right here!” I gasped, wagging my finger, “There’s an unbalance of Pokémon out there. You’ve got…” I quickly counted, “THREE Pokémon to fight with! That’s unfair!!”
“One of those is yours.” Kong said flatly, as a sweatdrop appeared on my forehead.
“Oh yeah. Mr. Marv.” I muttered, “Regardless, it’s two vs. one! Hardly sporting…”

I looked over to my side, and saw that Leaves had finished scaling the ladder back up to the balcony. He panted for breath, no doubt cursing his lack of opposable thumbs. Perhaps I would buy him opposable thumbs for Christmas.
“Guess what, Leaves?” I said with a grin, “You’re back in there! Now go back down that ladder, would ya?”
Leaves shot the most evil glare at me he could muster, and though it was irrelevant, somewhere deep inside I felt as though TONY is paralyzed! Maybe it can’t move!

“Mr. Marv, you’ll have to buy some time!” I shouted to my Houndoom, who happily nodded his head and grabbed his wallet.
“No, you dolt!” I snapped, “I didn’t mean you would buy time, I meant… Wait, where did you get that wallet from?”

“Togetic, take to the sky!” Lamont commanded, and his pointy angel egg did such.
“Jeez, I don’t remember Kong having a Heretic last time we battled…” I said with a gulp, but remembered the troubles Sirmon had caused in that battle, “Mr. Marv, forget about the flying git for a minute and focus on that Elastoid!”

Togetic. Electrode. The Pokédex DS corrected. Images of the two Pokémon appeared on the top screen, while Houndoom and its statistics formed on the bottom.
“Ooh, Mr. Marv has 183 HP!” I bubbled, “I wonder what HP is, anyway? Healthy Parts?”

Mr. Marv turned to the ball Pokémon and snarled quietly. As he did, I kept my eye on the Togetic above, which was taking aim at its target below. By now, it seemed to me as though she was the more menacing of the two. Eggs could go off at any minute, as I had learnt in Ghostbusters.
“Alrighty then, I change my mind!” I shouted, “Try and down that flying yolk!”

Mr. Marv tilted his head toward the sky and spat a couple flames in her direction. Alas, the Togetic was too quick and dodged each fireball. This wasn’t going to work, unless Mr. Marv was secretly aiming for an airplane that happened to be above at that very moment. If so, it was an excellent plan.
I looked back down at Sirmon, who was spinning on the spot madly.
“It’s building up speed!” I gulped, “Or it’s… really bored, I dunno. All the same, get out of the way, Marv!!”
At that, the Electrode shot forward and Mr. Marv had to leap blindly aside to avoid being barrelled over. He landed on the dirty ground with a thud and sneezed a couple times.
“That’s hardly dramatic…” I grumbled.

“Now, Togetic!” Kong shouted, and the Togetic began a dive toward the ground in Mr. Marv’s direction.
“Oh, crikey!” I said, “She’s gonna splat him, Uncle Scooby!”
Shaking the dirt off, Mr. Marv stood up and looked up at me for help. Sirmon rolling on the spot again, while the Togetic was coming at him faster and faster. It was fairly obvious to see where this was going. Much pain and dog hair everywhere.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY, MARV!!” I cried, as the Houndoom ran aside before Togetic could hit him. She landed on the ground in a heap and shook her head. She didn’t get the opportunity to notice the Electrode now rolling in her direction…
“No! That was stupid…” Kong said with a frown from his balcony as his Electrode rolled over his Togetic, flattening the unfortunate Pokémon against it.
“Hey look!” I chortled, “An egg roll.”
There was a mighty groan across the fans in the stadium. A groan of laughter, perhaps?

“No matter,” Kong announced, returning Togetic to her sphere, “Now I’ll raise the ante just a smidgen… Go, Champy and Big Al!”
Two great beasts (both literally and figuratively) appeared on the field of battle, each roaring furiously.
“Nidoqueen!” one roared.
“Tyranitar!” roared the other.
“$40?” roared the man at the nearby concession stand.
“This is even worse! Now you’ve got four Pokémon out there!” I paused for a second. “Three, I mean.”
I grabbed another Pokésphere, and flung it toward the arena. It hit Mr. Marv in the head, and he barked angrily.
“Whoopsie.” I muttered, “But all the same, out comes Dagger!”

Wasting no time, Dagger charged directly at the large beast duo while Mr. Marv chased after Sirmon. The Houndoom was nowhere near fast enough to keep up, and Dagger quickly found himself overwhelmed by the two ugly opponents he was facing. The Nidoqueen squeezed her tail around Dagger, constricting him and allowing the Tyranitar to take cheap shots.
“Oh come on, where’s the ref??” I shouted, and looked around. As it turned out, she was over on the sidelines, filing a stalking charge on James.

There was then an almighty cry of LEAVES! as the Lebresaur made it to the arena floor, either announcing his arrival or declaring that he had found foliage.
“Mr. Marv can wait, help Dagger out! He’s losing healthy parts!!” I commanded. Leaves dutifully ran over to his ally’s side. Without hesitation, he created a great big light screen. Special defence sharply rose!

…That was pretty much all he had. Big Al shrugged, before continuing to throw punches at Dagger.
“That plan is slightly flawed, Leaves…” I groaned. With a smirk, Leaves backed away from the Light Screen. He lowered his head and made a charge at it.
“What is this foolishness?” Kong scoffed. I had forgotten he was there. I think he forgot he was there too, actually.

Leaves collided with the glass wall with a sickening crack. It wobbled and tilted, before finally tumbling over and shattering over the three bemused Pokémon. Allies’ light screen wore off…

Dagger shook it off and ran to Leaves’ side, while Mr. Marv did the same. Similarly, Sirmon took its place near Champy and Big Al.
“It’s a face-off…” I announced, and the crowd gave appropriate ooh’s and aah’s and even an ah-choo.

“Champy, strike 5 90 Z left!” Kong shouted, and I scratched my noggin like a bumpkin. They had playcalls?
“Alrighty then…” I grinned, donning a coach’s cap, “Dagger, post corner Hawaiian crush 9!!”
Dagger nodded, and span around. He laughed, then clobbered Mr. Marv over the head.
“Ooh, I called the wrong play.” I said, wincing, “I don’t even know why that’s in our playbook…”

Meanwhile, Champy had lifted Sirmon over her head. She cackled an evil, Nidoqueeny cackle, before throwing Sirmon towards the team.
“Look out!!” I cried, though I noted the lack of concern on my Pokémon’s faces. Perhaps they were suicidal?

Sirmon hit Dagger in the face, then fell to his feet. The Aggron roared mightily, largely unaffected by the impact.
“Mwahaha!” I roared mightily too, “Kick it back, Dags!”
Dagger did just that. Bemused, Big Al intercepted the rolling ball, took a run-up and kicked it back. Mr. Marv leapt up and headbutted the Electrode over to Leaves, who kicked it up a few times, then booted it back at the opponents. Champy received her spherical teammate and started running towards the team, kicking Sirmon along the ground.
“Show some hustle, guys!” I shouted, and Mr. Marv ran towards Champy. She sidestepped him, before Leaves kicked the Electrode out from her possession, and sent it airborne towards Dagger.
“Good pass!” I cheered, “Now Dagger, show us what that clan taught you. Use the Scizor kick!!”
Dagger leapt up as high as his metallic body would take him, and did an impressive flip, kicking the Electrode with all his might. It went past Big Al and hit the arena wall.
“GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!” I roared, “Wing to center, kick by Dagger Flatt, beautiful form!!”

I lifted my shirt up over my head and ran in circles.
“Damn!” I grumbled, “I can’t see now…” I cut out a pair of eyeholes and peered towards Kong.
“Even you have to admit, that was entirely pointless.” Kong said with a frown.
“You’re just saying that because the score is one-nil!” I replied, poking out my tongue and licking my shirt in the process.

Big Al picked Sirmon back up and flung it back into the arena.
“Mr. Marv, fetch!” I said confidently. Mr. Marv ran over to the Electrode and hopped atop it, wagging his tail. Curiously, Sirmon turned a bright shade of white and…

KABLARMO.

“Jesus!!” I gasped at the sight of the great Explosion Sirmon had done, “That was some kablarmo!! Even caused a spelling mistake!”
The smoke cleared, and Mr. Marv blinked a couple times, charred. He then fell to the ground.
“Your Pokémon has fainted!” Kong cackled, throwing his hands to the air triumphantly.
“Well, I can’t even see your Pokémon…” I muttered, before spotting the top half of the exploded Sirmon nearby. “Oh, it’s only half-fainted.”

Regardless, Kong returned the half-circle to its Pokésphere, and I did the same with Mr. Marv. Well, not that I returned Mr. Marv to Sirmon’s Pokésphere. That would just be silly.
“You are an uneducated fool, Chambers.” Kong threatened, deciding which Pokémon he would release next.
“No, you’re an uneducated fool, Chambers!” I shot back, “I mean, an uneducated fool, Kong.”
“That is not true!” Kong said defensively, “I am educated; I’ve got a degree in senior first aid.”
“Yeah?” I hissed, “Well I’ve seen yer first aid, and it sucks!”

Kong launched a sphere into the arena, and out came his dinky little Gastly.
“Gomer has become stronger since our last confrontation!” Kong said with an evil grin.
“What, he has more gas?” I scoffed, and pulled my shirt back down. The eyeholes exposed my chest, and suddenly my fashion statement seemed rather flamboyant. Regardless, I sent another Pokésphere into battle, “Your turn, Soup!”
I went over my options for a minute, before deciphering a plan of battle, “Dagger, you’re a ground type, so you take Champy. Leaves, you’re poison, Gomer’s yours. Soup, that leaves you with the Tyranitar. Enjoy!”
Leaves and Dagger nodded and ran towards their targets, while Soup turned toward me, his eyes wide like a lamb to the slaughter.

Over the other side, Big Al smiled and licked his lips. He made a mad dash towards Soup and, squealing, the Larvitar took off behind the nearby rocks. Watching him run so fast, I felt good to know he was getting proper exercise.

As the two pairs squared off (and the third pair were scrambling madly around the arena), I stared at Kong. He stared right back. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife… and fork… and eat it for breakfast.

Can I really overcome Lamont Kong?
Are his Pokémon just too mighty for my alrighty troops?
Whose cuisine reigns supreme??

Mew Trainer Rose
16th January 2006, 06:53 PM
This battle is indeed suitably funny and interesting. And random. Plenty of random to go around. :) Can't wait to see the conclusion!

Powarun
16th January 2006, 07:26 PM
WTF? Go Soup! May the David beat Goliath. DragoKnight you are doing a fine job with this fanfic. The randomness fits the seasoning. I think Tony needs to stop believing in himself and believe in something else, maybe with that kind of thought he can win. Leaves better put up a good fight, maybe punch out some teeth with is iron knuckles.

Drago
17th January 2006, 03:41 AM
Mew Trainer Rose: Good to hear the battle's living up to expectations. Y'know, I think I should patent the term random. It pretty much summarises this fic in a nutshell!
Powarun: Hey Powarun, I haven't seen you around in ages! Thanks for your kind words, I think Leaves needs to partake in some ass-kicking, eh?

Well, I can't help myself. Just a couple minutes ago, I finished off the last two chapters (six and seven), and I can't be bothered stalling before posting those. So #5 comes in today, and within the next couple days, I'll post chapters six and seven. Once again, I wrote those with the intentions of being one chapter, but it was longer than expected. So yeah...

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 5
Kong Kombat Kontinues

First, I’ll put you there… Then I’ll try and get you to work with that…
Maybe… maybe if I try to adjust the amount that that corresponds with…

“Gomer, use Scary Face!” Kong commanded.
“Dammit!!” I shouted, “You interrupted my redecorating plans!!”
Floating towards Leaves, Gomer cackled wickedly. He circled his target a couple times, before appearing right before Leaves, contorting his ghostly features into a scary face.
Leaves was… not impressed.

“BLEAH!” Leaves cackled, putting on a scary face of his own. Gomer shrieked and went transparent.
“It has been decided!” Kong announced, “Gomer really does suck.”
The Gastly reappeared, looking up at his owner sheepishly, “Then try your luck with the Aggron.” Dagger smacked Champy aside briefly, then turned towards Gomer. The cowardly ghost shivered nervously.
“Use Lick!” Kong ordered, and the ghost unleashed its long, pink tongue. It slathered the thing across Dagger’s face quickly, and the Aggron giggled, blushing.
“Don’t use Lick anymore!” Kong frowned, disgusted, “I think he likes it…”
Soup whizzed past the scene, Big Al hot on his trail. The Tyranitar was wearing a bib. I wonder what that meant?

“Gomer, distract the Aggron and Ivysaur!” Kong shouted, and I scoffed.
“That’s Lebresaur, genius.”
Honestly, what kind of idiot gets Pokémon names wrong?
Cackling wickedly …again… Gomer began appearing and disappearing around the arena rapidly.
“Agh,” I muttered, “That’s slightly annoying!”
Dagger and Leaves swung at the elusive Gastly while Champy stood there, opening her mouth wide. A bright light formed from within it.

“Look out, Tony!!” I heard Megan’s voice way down below from the sidelines, “She’s about to use Hyper Beam!!”
“Well thank you!” I snapped, “Where in the hell were you when I needed your advice before??”
“I was buying souvenirs!” she yelled back, “I got you a Lamont t-shirt.”
“Yes!” I giggled, blushing, “He’s dreamy…”
Kong’s eyes widened, and I winked at him. In actuality, I was just trying to make the gentleman in the ninth row jealous.

Champy fired off the almighty attack, and Dagger and Leaves just barely got out of the way of the beam, which hit one of the nearby rocks. There was a loud boom, and pieces of rock flew everywhere.
“Aie! Aiyeeee!” I whimpered, grabbing an umbrella. While the fighters tried to dodge the falling rocks, one of them hit Gomer in the head. Though in essence, his head is pretty much all there is to hit.
The dazed Gastly floated about wearily and the copies disappeared, while another rock landed squarely on Champy. She fell to the ground, defeated.
“HA!” I cheered, “Advantage, server!!”

Another one of the rocks conked me over the head.
“Oww, break point…” I frowned.

As the last of the rocks landed, Soup had to make particular effort to dodge them while he was running. Big Al was gaining on him, picking up speed. Soup leapt atop Dagger’s head then tore off behind another rock. Of course, Big Al wasn’t quite as agile…

There was a mighty crash as rock collided with steel, and neither party particularly won that deal. The two beasts stumbled around, and then both collapsed.

Kong returned the fainted Champy and Big Al, and again, I did the same with Dagger. At this rate, surely my numerical difference was going to pay off?

“Lilac, Sal, you’re in!” Kong shouted, and by Gomer’s side came a Mr. Avus and a Seabra…
I squinted and looked down at the aforementioned water Pokémon. Somehow, it was… FLOATING!!
“Oh my god,” I gasped, “Your Pokémon is full of helium!!”
“No you fool,” Kong said, laughing impolitely, “It’s the mysterious aura of my Misdreavus that allows my Seadra to float gracefully through the air.”

“Aww…” I whined. The notion of a seahorse balloon amused me.
“It’s your turn in there, Kuda!” I shouted, and out came the Golduck. …The Golduck who I never recovered after that fall off Mt. Doofdoof… She quacked twice, then teetered over.
“Good work, team!” Kong cheered.
“Nuh-uh,” I protested, returning Kuda, “I did that! Aaaaaall me!!”
I grabbed a new Pokésphere. “You’ll have to do then, Cubone!”

My reliable clod of dirt made his entrance, then cheered for himself.
“Use Metronome, Cubone!” I commanded. He did just that, waving his fingers around. The sky went dark and there was a low rumbling. I looked down at the play-by-play on the Pokédex DS.

CUBONE used METRONOME!
CUBONE used FISSURE!

“Oh… sweet… Jesus.” I gulped, and held onto the rail.
The entire arena shook as the almighty attack of doom surfaced. The crowd screamed in terror, glass shattered and the ground cracked in places. It was a natural disaster of Woody Allen proportions.
“It’s the Apocalypse!!” I heard a voice cry amidst the chaos, and I nodded my head frantically.
“Yes, it’s the Calypso!” I agreed.
The world continued to shake and I gritted my teeth as hard as I could. Actually knocked one of my damned teeth out for that matter, which bounced about the balcony.
“Oh no you don’t!” I snapped at the rebellious tooth, and stuck it up my nose for safekeeping.

The balcony began to creak and sway, and I squinted to see how Kong was reacting over on the other side. His arms were crossed, his eyes were shut, he wasn’t screaming or panicking… Yup, he was loopier than a Slinky after all.

I closed my eyes tightly, when finally the quake subsided. I kept hugging the rail for a couple seconds before nervously standing and looking down at the arena floor. Soup and Leaves were down. Cubone was shocked.

“Cubone.” I said amidst the sudden silence, “You’ve attempted to attack the opponents with a ground attack.”
Cubone nodded.
“The opponents who are floating.”
Cubone nodded.
“The opponents who are floating and do not touch the ground.”
Cubone paused, then nodded.
“…Well done.”

I peered around the arena. The Champion’s Stadium had seen better days. Pillars broken, collapsed segments all around, even chipping of the wonderful orange paint. In retrospect, holding a Pokémon battle in a crowded arena was a very stupid idea.

Regardless, I returned the hapless Soup to his sphere, and looked down at Leaves. He was definitely out, but that sucker never had a Pokésphere of his own. He was just gonna lie there, collecting dust. Hopefully the janitor would return him before long.
“Alrighty then, here comes Doom!” I announced and brought out the Breloom ghost. I didn’t want to enter a third combatant just yet, so that Leaves could re-enter the battle freely, should he choose to spring back to life. Sneaky, eh?

Looking at his opponents eerily, Doom floated into the air. Gomer and Lilac did the same, and the three ghosts whirled about for a while before disappearing.
“Whoa,” I gasped, “Either Doom’s going to take them both on invisibly, or my Breloom has just eloped.”

Cubone looked at the remaining enemy Sal. What was Cubone thinking? Was he planning his attack? Was he about to recite a poem? Was he wondering what Sal was short for?
Before he could do any of this, Sal took a shot of water at him. Cubone flipped aside, then charged at the floating Seadra, waving his bone around like an angry hillbilly.
“Dodge the Bone Rush!” Kong instructed Sal, who did just that. The Seadra laughed a bizarre, watery laugh as he floated above Cubone’s head. Cubone tried flinging his bone at Sal, but the opponent just dodged each attempt.

“Hang on…” I muttered, “If your Misdreavus isn’t there anymore, how come your Seadra’s still floating?”
Cubone stopped swinging and looked at me. As did Sal. As did Kong. As did everyone who was left in the arena.
“…What?” I whined, “I can say smart things occasionally.”
At this realisation, the Seadra plopped to the ground and flopped about miserably. Cubone took this opportunity to pose to the people who had purchased disposable cameras, even though they cost $30.

“Water under the bridge…” Kong said, crossing his arms, “Or in the arena! Use Surf, Sal!”
With that, Sal sprang about madly, before a logic-defying wave of water appeared behind him.
“Oh crap, Cueball’s gonna get killed if that water touches him…” I gulped, “He needs a floatation device…”
I looked at the arena floor frantically. Rocks, dirt, Leaves…
“Leaves!!” I shouted, “Cubone, get on Leaves!!”

Cubone nodded and climbed atop his fainted ally, preparing for the oncoming wave.
A smart-looking man with glasses and a microphone walked onto the arena floor. “You see, the cocklebur, when attached to a Pokémon, stores its seeds within the host body,” he explained, “As such, the plant itself is hollow, and when placed in the water, it will float straight to the top and-”
His speech was cut short as the wave hit him. He was right; Leaves and Cubone did float to the top. Alas, he himself did not. I suppose he wasn’t that smart after all.

Now the arena was a gigantic pool that amused the fans in the upper rows and drowned those in the front.
Cubone tried to keep his balance atop the unconscious Leaves while being annoyed by the pointy cocklebur. Sal played with a beach ball.
“Knock that little bonehead off of the life raft!” Kong yelled, no doubt resisting the temptation to refer to it as a ‘Leaves raft’.

Dutifully, malevolently, seahorsily, Sal began sending water pulses through the pool, making the Leaves raft unstable and causing it, or him rather, to sway through the water.
“Booone…” Cubone whimpered, trying to stay atop the Leaves raft.
“Cubone, man the torpedoes! Fire at will!! Sink that seahorse!!” I shouted the best advice I could think of. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to really help all that much. Cubone was not a pirate, nor was Leaves filled with cannonballs. Unless there was something he wasn’t telling me.

“That’s actually not a bad idea…” Kong said with a devious smirk, “Sal, sink ‘em now!”
Sal took aim, and then fired a blob of water towards the Leaves raft. It crashed into the water near the duo, causing an enormous splash and making the Leaves raft tilt unevenly. Cubone bellowed as the Leaves raft began taking on water, then looked up at me frantically.
“What do you want?” I snapped and felt around my pockets, “Oh yeah, the walkman.”

I had learnt a long time ago that, without his music, Cubone was only an average fighter. Give him a little Liberachi and he’ll dice the opponent like a Ninja Turtle. Or perhaps even Liberachi with a samurai sword. That notion was slightly more amusing right now.
I tossed Cubone’s favourite object, friend and deity towards the Leaves raft. I just hoped my aim wasn’t off as it flipped through the air toward his grasp.

Just before Cubone could catch it, Sal took a shot of water at the walkman. It was a direct hit, causing the device to shatter into a hundred pieces.
“Good lord!!” I gasped, as Cubone stood there atop the Leaves raft. His expression was not one I had seen from him before. One of pure anger, pure hatred…

“CUBOOOONEE!!” he roared furiously, and to my amazement, he leapt right off of the Leaves raft and ran unaffected right atop the water.
“Crikey!” I exclaimed, “How does that work??”
A couple options appeared on the Pokédex DS.

CUBONE is running on pure adrenaline…
CUBONE is using RAGE…
OTHER.

I poked at ‘OTHER’, and a far more likely solution came before me.

CUBONE is using STEROIDS.

“We’ll go with that.” I muttered, and turned my attention back toward the battle. Cubone was literally running circles around the shocked Seadra, and Kong seemed dumbfounded for any brilliant ideas.

Cubone leapt into the air in front of Sal, did a couple flips in midair, then descended, planting his bone directly on Sal’s noggin. That was one messed up vengeance sequence.
Sal flinched, and promptly passed out. Good idea.

“Good work, Cubone!” I cheered, and he posed confidently, “Now I’m going to return you before you drown.”
Cubone peered down, and, lacking the adrenaline/rage/steroids that had driven him before, fell into the pool. He thrashed about madly until he was returned safely to his sphere.

“Time to fix this flood…” Kong announced in a far less confident tone, and tossed the next Pokésphere high into the air, “Quickly Mac9, use Sunny Day!”
The Ninetales appeared from its sphere and, noticing that it happened to be on a freefall toward the water, summoned the sun hastily.
In some crazy, impossible way, the water dissipated as the sun turned on to an incredible heat. I shielded my eyes and backed away into the shade, while a couple spectators screamed from the scorching heat. One thing was for sure in this battle; the crowd was getting its ass thoroughly kicked.

With the water gone, Mac9 landed safely on the dry ground. Or about as safely as he could on ground that was covered in rock shards, had been the site of an earthquake and had even staged a soccer game played by monsters and a dog. It was hostile land.
“Kabutops, you’re perfectly suited to this battle!” I shouted with a grin, and sent the blind battler into the fray, “Now go get him!!”
“Stay quiet, Mac9!” said Kong, and the Ninetales did such. Though sitting there quietly isn’t usually a threatening tactic, it seemed to be the worst thing you could do against a blind Kabutops.

She swung about as she tried to locate her opponent, stumbling over the rocks and cracks in the ground.
“To your left!” I shouted, and Kabutops swung her scythe, missing the target miserably.
“When I said left, I actually meant right!” I corrected, but still, a swing and a miss. By strike three, Kabutops would be out.
Chortling to himself, Mac9 fired a cheap fireball at Kabutops. It struck her right between the eyes, and though it wasn’t entirely effective, it was still more offence than Kabutops had managed. Additionally, that sunny day seemed to be making Mac9’s fire attacks a lot stronger. Funny how that works, eh?

“No worries Kabutops!” I shouted, and grabbed out a bottle of Potion I had saved for such an occasion, “Use this and you’ll feel much better!”
I piffed the bottle as hard as I could, which incidentally wasn’t hard enough. The bottle fell short, landed on the ground and shattered. The purple ooze slipped through the crevices and I exercised the notion that that really didn’t help much. On the plus side, the ground did look a little bit healthier.

“SAUR!!”
It was like a great omen. A beacon of light in a day of a whole lot of light. Surely, a Saur for the ages.
I looked over at Leaves, who had gotten back up. He was full of vigour, full of beans, full of healthy sunlight.

Grass Pokémon absorb sunlight, synthesising it into energy. The Pokédex DS explained how Leaves had cheated so cleverly, This applies with Pokémon such as Ivyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy……………
I looked around nervously. Apparently trying to identify just what Leaves was was a power far beyond the device. Maybe next upgrade.

“Leaves, recovered or not, those fire attacks aren’t your kind of thing.” I commanded, “Climb back up the ladder and wait on the balcony for a while.”
Leaves looked back up at me with a shocked expression. “WHAT??” he shouted, then shook his head like a madman. He really hated that ladder.
“I’ll wait here…” he stated, taking his seat among the audience.
“Whatever.” I muttered, and sent another fighter in. This time, it was Agwa.
“Skitty!” she announced, as though she was expecting a clever response.
“Alrighty Agwa,” I instructed, “You’ll have to give Kabutops directions towards the Ninetales!”
Agwa nodded, and grabbed a map of coordinates. Where did my guys get all of these wacky items from?

“Skit… TY!” Agwa shouted, and Kabutops leapt towards the coordinates ‘Skit Ty’. Mac9 backed away, but it was a direct hit! Kabutops produced a big cut across Mac9’s leg.
“Mac9, keep moving!!” Kong shouted, and the Ninetales appropriately darted about. With all this though, he wouldn’t get the chance to launch an offensive. He was on the ropes!!
“Ty, ski ski!!” Commander Agwa cried, and Kabutops shot a Hydro Pump blast that hit Mac9 square in the side. Stricken, he rolled over clumsily to a halt. Regardless, he got back up, panting.
“That foxy’s got a lot of moxy…” I grumbled, looking over towards Leaves. He was taking this opportunity to steal items from nearby spectators.

“Mac9, you don’t stand a chance if the Kabutops knows where you are…” Kong said quietly, before raising his clenched fist to emphasise some fascinating point, “Eliminate that problem!!”

Mac9 nodded, took a deep breath, and shot off the almighty Fire Blast. As I tried to decipher exactly why it was that shape, it also occurred to me that he wasn’t aiming for Kabutops at all…
“Look out, Agwa!!” I gasped, as she peered up from her map. Her tiny little Skitty eyes widened as she was engulfed in the great flame. When it cleared, Agwa was a mess. The map crumbled in her paws, her officer’s hat fell off her head and all she could manage was a quick salute before collapsing.

“Cheap, Kong…” I snapped, and returned Agwa to her Pokésphere.
“Indeed.” Kong replied, “But the numbers advantage is back in my favour!!”
At that convenient moment, Doom reappeared in the arena. He was bruised, he was tired, but he was smiling. Gomer and Lilac fell nearby him. Evidently, Doom came, Doom saw, Doom kicked their ass.
I looked in Leaves’ direction for support, but he was too busy attacking the snack vendor.

Mac9 backed up nervously as Doom and Kabutops stared at him. Well, Kabutops was actually staring at the wall, but it was still pretty intimidating.
To my surprise, Kong returned his Ninetales to its sphere before it could get pummelled as it should.

I looked over at him, as he looked down at the ground. He looked contemplative, but evil all the same. Like an educated villain should.
“This battle ends now, Chambers.” He said quietly.
“You’ve conceded defeat?” I said with a laugh, “It’s about time, your Pokémon are about as daunting as a bowl of soup.” I pondered on this point for a moment, “Well, unless it was an especially hot bowl of soup. If so, then may God have mercy on us all…”

Kong had a Pokésphere in his left hand. This one seemed different, somehow. Bigger, more colourful, more spherical.
“Once I’ve unleashed this power, you will know why I have remained the champion for so long.” He continued, and I tried to recall which Pokémon he had left. Last time we fought, Mac9 was about as good as they got… Maybe his Steelix was stronger since last time?

He lifted his arm to the air, hesitating as he grasped the Pokésphere tightly. To my amazement, the Sunny Day wore off as this sphere was held up in the air, and ominous clouds resurfaced. There was a possibility that the attack had just run out, but that’s less impressive.
“Chambers, I am the Champion!” Kong roared, seeming to have renewed confidence, “There is no greater Pokémon trainer than I, not in any of the regions, not in any of the countries, not in all the world!!”
His eyes were bulging, his veins protruding, his expression wild and terrifying. “With this Pokémon, I shall show to all exactly why this is so. I am the Champion!! I am Lamont Vincent Kong! I AM GOD!!!”

With that bold statement and his revealing that his middle name is Vincent, he hurled the Pokésphere toward the battlefield with all his might. A mighty wind whipped up in the stadium as the ball whizzed through the air. A couple unlucky fans were even blown out of the arena, adding to the imminent lawsuit.

Finally, the sphere hit the ground, sending a shockwave that knocked Doom and Kabutops off their feet. Even Leaves looked up from his assault on the stadium employees. I backed up nervously, feeling a powerful aura. Needless to say, this wasn’t a Steelix.

The Pokésphere sat there. The entire stadium was quiet and everyone in attendance was on their feet. Of course, this was a less impressive fact considering that most of the people were long gone, but regardless.
Kabutops got down on one knee and closed her eyes. She rested a scythe against the ground. Meanwhile, I saw something that I had never seen before. Doom, my mighty Breloom ghost, was scared. Doom? Scared?
That was like an annoying mosquito getting annoyed.
Like a cold ice cube requesting a sweater to shelter from the cold.
Like ear-eating Mike Tyson turning down a bowl full of yummy ears.
It just didn’t happen.

Finally, the sphere opened, unleashing a low, whipping whistling sound, and an incredible light shone about the arena. I shielded my eyes, squinting to see through at what this remarkable Pokémon was.
When it was gone, I could see through all the drama, the entire spectacle, the special effects provided kindly by Industrial Light and Magic.

There was an amazed gasp from the crowd, a couple alarmed shouts, and once again, an enthused ah-choo.
I fell on my rear, my eyes wide.
“N-no way!” I stammered, looking across at Kong.
“Exactly.” He replied, smiling an insane grin.
“No way!!” I repeated, “It can’t be… It just can’t!!”

darktyranitar
17th January 2006, 05:38 AM
The battle is really, really funny! There's a lot of funny stuff to be pointed. And the randomness. Randomness it the keyword here. Haha, who was that gentleman in the ninth row, what was the smart-looking guy doing in the arena (got drown, poor guy) and where did the ah-choo came from the crowd? The crowds have very funny personalities.

Oo, I wonder what Pokemon Lamont released? It's hard to tell who's going to win this... And Leaves can speak more words! Muahaha! :biggrin: I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Powarun
19th January 2006, 11:07 PM
Um how many fans died in the process of this pokemon battle, if the amount of casualities is over .5 then why the hell do people come to the pokemon battles? Cubone made an awsome appearance, and Doom just kicks ass. Why do I have the feeling that this next pokemon is Weedle or Mewtwo? If its Mewtwo just having a conversation with Tony could defeat it.

Drago
22nd January 2006, 06:52 PM
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c268/Squidomar/Souper.jpg

Look it's a Soup banner. Exquisite! lol
So yeah, 'one or two days' turned into more, but I steadfastly deliver upon my promise. Only thing is I'll just leave a smidgen of time between the final two chapters, to build anticipation and reprehension. I don't use that word often, in the wrong context or not.

Chapter six is a tad cheap, since you would've had to have read Minty Thrill to understand exactly what's going on, but it shouldn't be too tricky to figure out.

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 6
Intervention with an Invention

I rubbed my eyes. It was still there.
I dribbled some eye drops into my eyes. It was still there.
I poked myself in the eyes. Ow. It was still there.

“How do you like it?” Kong asked, though I don’t think he genuinely wanted to know whether I was fond of the Pokémon he had released, “It isn’t the actual thing of course. A clone, rather. Using the original’s genes, I managed to create a beast far better than that which it was made up of.
I assembled a team of scientists to manufacture this proud warrior. The head of development was a mysterious fat man named Dr. Hoover, who would not quit until he had accomplished his goal.
Several experiments… Several failures… Until finally, we had perfected the genes required to bring what you see before you into the world. I call it…

Suicune II.”

There it was, in the arena. A Suicide. A Silicone. Whatever he had just called it. However, something seemed strange here. The Pokédex DS had a picture of a blue beast, with a great big purple mane and a hula-hoop sticking out of its head. So why was the creature before me silver, with gold where there would be purple? It sure was pretty, though. All nice and shiny…
Hang on, shiny?
I did the math here, and even some geometry, to conclude that this was in fact a shiny Suicune.
“…Aww Hölle.”

“Tony, this is awful!!” James cried from the sidelines. I was surprised he was still alive, actually. “Your Pokémon have taken on some fierce competitors in the past, but this is, without a doubt, the strongest opponent you’ve ever come up against!”
“You’re outmatched, sweetie…” Megan added, “Do you want me to shoot them?”
“Tempting, but I’ll have to turn down the offer.” I said with a gulp, “Who knows? Maybe it’s not as strong as it looks…”

At that, Suicune II’s eyes turned a pale white. The rocks across the battlefield all disappeared and the cracks caused by the Fissure were no more. The arena floor had been reconstructed by the powers of this one cloned Pokémon.
“Pfft.” I snorted, “So what, it cleans. What’s its next trick? Is it gonna bake a cake?”
I watched on anxiously, hoping that perhaps it would.

“Gust! Aurora Beam!” Kong intervened, and with alarming speed, Suicune II launched off the attacks simultaneously. A mighty whirlwind whipped around Doom, while an eerily pretty yet pretty eerie beam of coldness froze Kabutops on the spot. It didn’t take long for the attacks to have an effect, sending both of them sprawling to the ground.
I gasped, because it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

“I told you, I am the cultivator of new life!!” Kong shouted.
“Well, umm, I can cultivate new lice, if you give me a minute!” I suggested, trying to counter this claim, “And either way, can your Cubone walk on water? That’s what I thought.”
Kong waved his hand towards the battlefield. “Who will be the next to fall?”

I went over my options quickly. Cubone was hurting from the water, and expecting him to take on what was essentially a water monarch didn’t seem like a great idea. The ice powers Suicune II possessed would cause all sorts of hell for Klepto. How about Ampharos?

I pulled out her Pokésphere and noticed something unusual. There was a lock on it, preventing entry. On it, in tiny writing, was the message ‘do not disturb, beauty sleep’.
“Dammitall!!” I cried, “You were so much more handy when you were a Mareep who liked clothing, or a Flaaffy that had an interest in fashion, not an AMPHAROS THAT IS A DRAMA QUEEN!!”
I groaned and tried to work out who my twelfth Pokémon was. Surely this final Pokémon would be a worthy match against Suicune II? I struggled to remember, as an image formed in my head.

This Pokémon was tall, and aggressive… He was unfriendly and… and…
“Oh crap, my last Pokémon was Uncle Terrell.” I groaned. I really, really should’ve remembered to get a twelfth Pokémon before coming here.
“How handy would it have been to have had Genji? Or Starla? Or Gigi?” I paused for a moment, “Wait, Gigi’s dead. Well, I still could’ve piffed her corpse at Suicune, or given it some Pidgecicles as a peace offering…”

I looked into the crowd at Leaves. He had pummelled several security guards, stolen several wallets and scored himself a free plush Sirmon, but he wasn’t happy. He knew what I was expecting of him.
“A level 23 Lebresaur who steals things vs. a level 100 shiny Suicune clone who kills things…” I muttered, before coming upon a bonus aspect, “Wait, Leaves has the type advantage!! You’re bound to win, Leaves!”
“Shut up…” he replied unenthused, as he walked onto the battlefield.
“Your move.” Kong said in a mocking tone, “See if you can get Suicune II to even blink.”
I knew all too well how to do that. “Leaves! POKE IT IN THE EYE!!”
Leaves peered up at me unhappily. He wasn’t fond of the plan.

I paced back and forth about the balcony, trying to think up a way to get out of this mess. Could I avert its gaze with a light show? Calm its nerves with a song and dance? Endear myself to it with a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit?
Nervously, I took another look at the Suicune clone. I don’t think it likes board games.

“Umm, Leaves…” I said meekly, “Maybe you could use Growl?”
With few other options, Leaves walked up to Suicune II and quietly made a tiny little growl.
Did it work? Is Suicune II about to faint from this almighty snarl?
Alas, nay. Instead, Suicune II responded with a Growl of its own. It was ear-piercing, and the very force of this sound sent Leaves flying halfway across the battlefield. He hit the ground with a loud thud. Getting up slowly, he shook it off uneasily, and tried to regain his balance.
“Okay Leaves!” I said, with a hint of confidence, “We now know that growling does not work! If we just avoid doing that, we have a chance of winning.”

“I am a merciful man, you know…” Kong stated what was really a filthy lie, “I will let your pathetic monster live, if it bows before me and confesses that I am the true undisputed Champion!!”
“I don’t think Leaves knows that many words…” I said nervously, “He might end up saying something like ‘I am shut Leaves love’, would that do?”
“NEVER!!” Leaves roared, insinuating that he would not quit, unfortunately.
His mouth filled up mysteriously, before a barrage of seeds came flying out.
“Wow, Bullet Seed!” I gasped, “Leaves hasn’t done that in years!! I wonder if they’re sesame seeds?”

The projectiles came at Suicune II with impressive force, but didn’t even get the chance to connect. Each seed froze up when it got close to the beast, then fell to the ground.
Suicune II whipped its head around quickly, summoning the icy seeds to the air. Before Leaves could react, the hail-like onslaught rained down on him.
“Leaves!” I wailed, “Noooooooo!”
Somehow Leaves was still standing afterwards. He was cut in several places and shivering, but he looked on at Suicune II, not ready to be defeated.

Throwing caution to the wind, he charged towards Suicune II, picking up more speed than he ever had before. He was brave, determined and ready to take this clone down!
When he was nearing his target, Leaves leapt up and yelled, ready to give it the hardest, most painful, bone crushing Tackle he had ever done before.
I winced as Leaves connected. It was indeed the hardest, most painful, bone crushing Tackle he had ever done, but not for Suicune II. All that pain and crushing of bones was that of Leaves as he actually bounced right off of Suicune II.

“Saaaaaaurr!!” he wailed, flying right into one of the large rocks. I cringed as Leaves crashed right through the other side of the rock before skidding to a stop. Even the crowd seemed to be taken aback by this needless ferocity.
This was too much. Time to throw in the towel…

“Resa!” Leaves coughed, and slowly but surely, stood to his feet. He was a mess. But he was… smiling? Not just smiling, Leaves was laughing!
“Leaves is mightier than any attack!” I shouted, “Leaves LAUGHS at pain!!”
Leaves nodded, “Leaves likes pain! Leaves loves pain!!” he announced, and a sweatdrop appeared on my head.
“No, wrong words there, Leaves. You laugh, not love… We don’t want people to think you’re a masochist.”

“I admire your Pokémon’s character. He is much stronger than he was our last encounter…” Kong confessed, “But he will fall, like all the rest!! You will all learn to worship me… I am the Champion… I… AM… GOD!!!”

Suicune II whipped its head around suddenly towards Kong. To the shock of absolutely everyone in attendance, it sent off its Ice Beam directly at him. He had no time to react, and was instantly frozen on the spot. If he was in fact God, he was a very cold God.
“What???” I gasped, “Why in the hell would Suicune II do that?”

“Because I commanded it to do so.” Answered a strangely familiar voice located in the crowd. I looked over and saw a fat, cloaked man. He walked onto the battlefield, and I thought to myself that this stadium sure had poor barricades if fat men could just freely walk about the arena as he was here.
“I am Dr. Hoover.” He said, “And Suicune II is my creation. Lamont Kong was a fool to try to outdo the original Suicune’s power. I knew that from the start, but the funding he offered was too great, and my own ideals made it too tempting…”
He rested his pudgy hand on Suicune II’s mane, “I knew that the only way I could make something so powerful was to take its very soul and manipulate it as I pleased… Nothing virtuous could ever be as powerful as Kong sought. Only something that was pure evil.”
“Well,” I muttered, “That’s very interesting… Have you been sitting in the arena this whole time?”
“Yes I have.” Dr. Hoover replied, “The prices here are ridiculous.”

He grabbed the hood of his cloak and fiddled with it for a minute. I squinted to see if I could make out his face from underneath it.
“I guess you don’t recognise me, do you Tony?” he asked, “We have met before, you know.”
“Fat man with evil intentions…” I thought hard, “Oh my god, are you JAMES??”
I looked over on the sidelines, where James was still sitting, bemused.
“Oh. I guess you aren’t James, then.” I muttered.
“I wasn’t always a doctor…” the apparently not-always-doctor Dr. Hoover stated, “But I was always great for a laugh… For I am FROWN THE CLOWN!!”

“Good lord above!!” I gasped. James and Leaves were shocked, too. But everyone else in the stadium seemed incredibly confused as to why this was a point dramatic enough to warrant capital letters.
“Surely you remember Frown the clown?” James asked Megan, who shook her head in response, “He was the gym leader of Attiles City a couple years ago… Tony beat him to earn himself the gym’s belt buckle.”
“Ah yes, the dumbuckle…” Frown cut in, “How is that doing with you, Tony?”
“Going great!” I muttered, and felt around my belt. It was nowhere to be found, and I slapped my head when I recalled why, “Damn, I sold that on eBay…”
Now that I could clearly recognise Frown, I took a moment to take in his appearance. It was as it had always been; same bald head, same worried look on his face, same reminiscent feeling to a cross between Andre Agassi and Homer Simpson.
“But you’re still not driving a Volkswagen!!” I shouted, annoyed.
“Hang on…” James muttered, “If Frown is here, then doesn’t that mean…”

Then, as if on cue, an enormous machine appeared above. It was so big, its twelve metallic legs were surrounding the stadium. From where I was standing, I could see a most terrifying sight.
For within it was the evil wench, Chase Ginnit.

“Chambers!!” she called over a loudspeaker, “I told you I would be back for my revenge!”
From below, another, perhaps more scary sight was visible. James was struggling to hold back Megan, who was furiously shouting at me. This sure was some bizarre situation.
Megan flung James aside, leapt onto the battlefield and quickly scrambled up the ladder to the trainer’s balcony. She got right up in my face.
“And just who is she??” Megan demanded, “Tell me now, Anthony Chambers!!”
I kicked the ground sheepishly, with my head hung low and my hands in my pockets, “Well, umm, back when I was trying to collect all of the belt buckles I forced her to come travel with James and me for a while, until I sold her to Frown… and umm, yeah.”
“Was she just a friend, hmm??” Megan snarled, inching closer. I had never seen her like this before, and I just thanked the frosty lord Lamont that she didn’t have the gun on her right now.
“No, she wasn’t a friend…” I began, quickly noting the vexed expression on Megan’s huffing face, “But, but that doesn’t mean that we were anything more! We were less than friends, in fact! Because she didn’t like me and yeah and stuff!!”

“And how come you never told me about this hussy?” Megan continued, and with those words, James, Leaves, Frown and I all flinched. Indeed, even Suicune II looked terrified. Megan had just started something that was not good.
“WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??” Chase bellowed over the loudspeaker, and fiddled with a few switches, bringing the machine she was in down to us. She jumped out of the cockpit and stood toe to toe with Megan.
“I think you heard me very clearly!!” Megan stated, “I was always wondering why there would be nights where Tony was screaming in terror, and now I know the reason!!”
“I can hardly blame that idiot,” Chase shot back, “Being around you in the night would make anyone scream in terror!!”

“Megan? Chase?” I squeaked, stepping in between them, “Can’t we just settle this like adults?”
“WE ARE!!” the two shouted simultaneously. Terrified, I leapt off the balcony for safety and landed headfirst on the hard ground below. Possible vertebrae fracture, but I knew I had saved myself from something far worse.

I shuffled up to Frown, who looked both scared and annoyed by Chase’s antics.
“So, umm, I guess you’re here to do something evil, huh?” I asked him quietly.
“Yeah, apparently.” He muttered, “When Chase is ready, we’ll do something evil. …So did you want to know anything more about our devious plan?”
“Not really…” James replied, watching on as Megan and Chase were fighting above on the balcony, “But it would fill some plot holes, so I guess so.”
“Well, since I headed the research I had access to the Suicune clone when nobody else did, so I could inject the evil soul into it without anyone knowing. Then we allowed Lamont Kong to have it for a while so it would gain a lust for blood while it battled. That way, its evil and it knows the tactics of other Pokémon.”
Suicune II nodded proudly. It was indeed quite clever and quite evil. It would’ve earned its bachelor in evil at the top of the class.
“So you became a doctor since we last saw you…” James said, frowning, “But how exactly did you find a way to manipulate its very soul?”
“Oh, I learnt that from Nikki a long time ago.” Frown replied flatly, “You know her, right? Gym leader of Kurabusu City?”
“Ohh right right…” I said, grinning, “How is Nikki, anyway? We had a little thing going on between us…”
“WHAAAAAAAT?” Megan shouted from above.
“Nothing, nothing…” I whimpered, hiding behind Suicune II. Somehow, the clone seemed less evil than my beloved Megan right now.

“That’s it, Frown, we’re going NOW.” Chase announced, hopping back into the cockpit. Frown grabbed a rope that dangled from it, and began ascending into the machine.
“Anyway, our little reunion is over!” Frown cackled, “Now that you know how we got Suicune II, I’ll leave it up to you what we plan to do with it!! Ahahaha!! AHAHAAAAA!!”
As Frown rose toward the machine, James, Leaves and I looked up at him, a tad bemused.
“Umm, Dr. Hoover?” I called, “You forgot to take your clone.”
“Oopsie.” Frown muttered, quickly scaling back down the rope and scooping up the annoyed Suicune II, “Thank you. Anyway, ahahaha!! AHAHAAAAA!!”

The machine walked away, and I knew that I had to stop their evil plan. Because if I didn’t, then I would have to listen to Megan’s complaints for the next twenty minutes.
…And above all else, I didn’t want that.

Mew Trainer Rose
22nd January 2006, 07:42 PM
...Can't say I remember Frown the Clown, it's been such a long time since I read Minty Thrill. Meh, still easy enough to figure out what happened.

And now it looks like it's time for the we-have-to-save-the-world part of any epic story. Or not-so-epic, as the case may be. Yay!

and the banner's neat. :)

darktyranitar
23rd January 2006, 04:58 AM
Heh, even the villains are funny. And Megan is scary. I didn't read Minty Thrill, but how many girls Tony had relation with?

He had no time to react, and was instantly frozen on the spot. If he was in fact God, he was a very cold God.

Very funny indeed. :biggrin: At the end of the match, I wonder how many people survived? Not much, I guess.

Good chapter. I can't wait for the next few final chapter. Oh, the Soup banner is nice. :smilie:

Powarun
23rd January 2006, 10:41 PM
Wow, Leaves is much more persistant than I thought, I would hate to fight him for my wallet. So now Lamont is declared God, hmm well my shirt says "God is in his heaven, All's right with the world" So I think that is telling me Kong died. Poor evil God. So did Tony win, and can he get that job or what? NOw he has to save the world, come on, leave that to some kid who just began his pokemon journey in some video game.

Drago
20th February 2006, 07:09 PM
Mew Trainer Rose: lol thanks, honestly I was just running out of ideas for the battle so I said 'screw this, let's throw in evil Chase'.
darktyranitar: Hmm, I'm struggling to remember here... Megan's the only character I recall Tony ever being involved with, but Chase travelled with him and James for a bit, Nikki had the hots for Tony and Tony hit on countless female characters along the way. He's a delightful sleaze! :biggrin:
Powarun: Haha, I could never kill off Lamont. He's just too damn cool (literally, right now). I should rewrite the entire saga and call it Kong Country.



...I'll just leave a smidgen of time between the final two chapters...
Apparently, a month is a 'smidgen of time'. Kind of lame on my part, considering that I had already written the final chapter. My excuse is, I suck. lol
Additionally, I planned on drawing another lovely little picture to correspond with the ending, but my scanner died a painful death of lack of... life, and as such the picture would go unseen.
So I thought to myself, I thought, 'Self, let's just post that last chapter, shall we?' And self agreed.

As such, the final stages of Tony's Times...

TONY’S TIMES
Chapter 7
Tony Chambers in… KILL SUICUNE: Vol. 2

Leaves and I ran over to the frozen Kong, and I stamped my foot.
“How are we gonna get rid of this ice, Leaves?” I asked my comrade, who responded by pulling out his prized brass knuckles and smashing the ice away.
“Good work Leaves!” I cheered. A couple of Kong’s dreadlocks had fallen off, but I’m sure he had more pressing things to worry about.

“By god…” Kong said, shivering, “You knocked off my dreads!!”
Leaves and I fell to the ground, annoyed, before I grabbed Kong’s cold shoulders. “Listen here, Kong, that Suicune you were training was an evil clone trained by evil people to do evil things.”
“Like what?” Kong asked.
“Like stealing lollipops!!” I shouted, “The point is, we have to go after them and stop them!”
Kong nodded, and pulled out a Pokésphere. He let out his Steelix, which he climbed on top of. Nervously, Leaves, James, Megan and I did the same. The humongous beast slithered up the side of the stadium, then out into the open fields. The big ol’ evil machine was nearby, and Frown, Chase and Suicune II were standing atop it.

“So you decided to follow us, eh Chambers?” Chase cackled, “Well that’s good, you’re the whole reason I wanted to execute this plan…”
My allies shot me accusing glares, and I just shrugged. We got off the back of Steelix, and stood before the machine.
“Using Suicune II’s almighty elemental powers…” said Chase, “We will cause tidal waves! We will summon fierce tornadoes! We will freeze this land! In short, we will destroy all of Furudo!!”
“Good lord,” Kong gasped, “The only thing that could stop this is the benevolent original Suicune! Oh, if only SUICUNE I WAS HERE!!””
We all paused, and looked around hopefully. After a couple minutes, we figured that Suicune I was not coming.
“Damn.” I muttered.

“Then the only way to stop this wicked Pokémon is with Pokémon of our own!” James said, furrowing his brow. To my amazement, he held a Pokésphere in his hand.
“James, you really do have a Pokémon, after all!” I said, amazed.
James grinned as he released his… Slugma.
“That’s a little undersized, wouldn’t you say James?” I groaned.

Megan and Kong let their Pokémon loose, and I sent out Cubone and Klepto to join their old comrade Leaves. Quietly, I handed Leaves Ampharos’ Pokésphere so that he could pick the lock and let her out, too. She came out with a yawn, shuffling in her shiny green nightgown.
“Chambers, it will take some time for Suicune II to build enough power to do what they say,” Kong said quickly, “We must find a way to destroy Suicune II before then!”
“Oh no you don’t!!” Chase shouted, “I was up all night thinking up this evil plan, and you’re not going to wreck it!! Frown, grab your Pokéballs! It’s ass-kicking time!”
They flung their Pokéspheres to the ground (who really calls them Pokéballs anymore, anyway?), and out came the familiar Pokémon of Frown and Chase, as well as a couple new ones. Machamp… Clefable… Rhydon… even Ricardo the Golem, who I knew quite well.
“Hey Ricardo.” I said. He gave a friendly wave in response, before he recalled that he was a villain, and changed the friendly wave into an evil wave.

“Chambers, you go up to the top and stop Suicune II,” Kong instructed.
“Yeah, we’ll hold off their Pokémon.” James said, nodding.
“Well how come I have to go take on the uber clone?” I whined.
“Because I really don’t care if you die.” Kong said flatly. I shrugged; couldn’t argue with that response.

I scooped up Leaves under one arm, Cubone under the other. Ampharos hopped onto my back.
“Jeez, you’re heavier than I anticipated…” I grunted, which was responded to with a slap in the head from her yellow flipper. Klepto latched his claws onto my shoulders and, straining, lifted us into the air.
“With all of their Pokémon busy fighting down there, they’ve got nothing to stop me!” I chuckled to myself.
When we made it to the top, Suicune II stood in front of them, snarling.
“Oh yeah, forgot about you…” I muttered.

My Pokémon and I landed unevenly on the top of the machine, nervous. The wind was threatening to blow us off at any minute.
“Give it up, Chambers!” Chase shouted, “You know you can’t beat Suicune II…”
“I’m weighing my options, Chase…” I replied, “Either I can try and save Furudo and die, or I can watch you destroy Furudo… and die as well. This way, people will remember me as the man who put his life at risk to save his country!”
“People can’t remember you if they’re all dead you idiot!” Chase snapped, and I bit my tongue, unable to dispute that fact.
“Look kid, you may as well just admit defeat here.” Frown yelled, “Your Pokémon look pretty tired as it is.”
I had neglected to realise that Leaves and Cubone had been bashed in the battle, while Klepto had spent most of his energy carrying us up here.
“Well what’s your excuse?” I muttered to Ampharos, who was panting for no apparent reason.

Chase pointed at us, and not only was that a very rude thing to do, but it encouraged Suicune II to advance on us.
“So, our plan is?” I pondered aloud.
“Tu!” “Phar!” “Bone!”
“To fair bone?” I grumbled at the advice supplied by my team, “That never works…”

Suicune II opened its mouth, gargled for a moment, and then shot a slew of Bubbles towards us.
“Ooh, crap.” I gulped. There weren’t a lot of places to dodge towards up here. Bravely, I leapt in front of my Pokémon to protect them.
I shut my eyes tightly as the fierce impact of a barrage of bubbles hit me. There was a light popping sound, and I opened my eyes. Despite Suicune II’s enormous power, the onslaught of bubbles hurt about as much as… well, an onslaught of bubbles.
“You know, Bubble is a really lame attack.” I muttered, then scolded my Pokémon, “All these years, you’ve been getting beaten by that??”
“Suicune II, use Hyper Beam!!” Chase commanded, and as the clone’s mouth opened, something far more intimidating began to appear.

“Hmm, Hyper Beam…” I grunted, trying to remember how that attack went.

Flashback to about a half-hour ago…
Kong’s Nidoqueen Champy charges up a big yellow beam, then… balloons appeared? No, that wasn’t it.
Then… Champy blew up in a million pieces? No, not that either. Would’ve come in handy now, though.
Then… Champy assassinated the President? Ooh, I think that was it!

“GET DOWN!!” I shouted to my soon to be assassinated Pokémon, only to find that they had all done that several seconds ago. I was the only one still standing.
Following my own advice, I fell to the metallic surface, as the beam of much death went over our heads.
“Phew…” I let out a deep breath, “That was close.”
I looked over at my shocked Pokémon staring at me, then felt over my head. It felt as though my hair had been singed off.
“Good lord!” I cried, “I’m BALD!!”
“Join the club.” Said Frown with a frown.

“Frown, do something!!” Chase ordered, to which the fat clown shrugged.
“Like what?” he snorted, “Suicune II needs to recharge.”
“We’re on a gigantic machine of destruction, you nimrod!” Chase screeched, “Use it!!”
“Yes, ma’am.” Frown said quietly and climbed into the cockpit. I contemplated following him in, but was put off as one of the machine’s legs lifted up, throwing us off balance. As it would.

I looked up as I watched the aforementioned machine leg bend backwards, until it had lifted high enough to actually be above its own mechanical body. It hovered above us, and I took this opportunity to note how large this leg was. Surely that was a bad thing.

“Crush them!” Chase shouted, and Frown pulled a switch, causing the leg to come down in our direction.
“Good lord!” I squealed, “It’s going to step on itself!!”
Leaping aside, we narrowly averted the bizarre attack, which left a small dent in the hull of the machine’s body.
“Learn how to aim, you stooge!” Chase shouted, and Frown lifted two more of the legs, causing the machine to start to teeter.

Shouting and babbling, my team and I scrambled about the surface of the machine to dodge the three leg strikes. I think I stepped on Ampharos’ toe nine times in the process, and on Leaves’ head at least twice. Regardless, we managed to avoid being crushed.
“Finish them off NOW!!” Chase commanded, climbing into the safety of the cockpit alongside Frown. The glass shut behind her. At that instruction, Frown flipped several switches and slowly, awkwardly, eleven of the legs had been lifted above us, so that the machine was balancing on only one leg.
“Suicune II’s almost finished recharging!” Chase cackled, “Once it does, there’s no way you’ll survive this!!”

Frantically, I tried to think of a plan. Either the legs were ready to crush us or Suicune II was going to destroy us when it could move again. …Wait, when it could move again?
“Ampharos!” I shouted, “Suicune can’t dodge while it’s recharging! Slow it down with Cotton Spore!”
Nodding, Ampharos produced a puff of cotton that attached itself to Suicune II to reduce its speed.
“Just keep doing it!” I shouted, “Klepto, open up that cockpit!”
His narrow eyes turned an eerie blue, and the glass protecting Frown and Chase shattered into pieces.
“Cubone, Metronome now!”
Cubone dutifully wiggled his fingers, and though I had hoped for a more fierce attack, the String Shot that launched out and wrapped itself around Chase and Frown proved to be an excellent way to hold them off.
“This plan is coming together…” I said as I peered over at Ampharos. She had covered Suicune II with so many spores, the almighty beast could hardly move.
Once again, Cubone took his place under one arm and Ampharos upon my back. I grabbed hold of Klepto’s claws as he took to the air.

“Now then,” I said malevolently, “You have my Pokémon and I, about to depart. You have these threatening crushing legs suspended above your craft. You have Suicune II, who is immobilised, and standing directly where the legs are going to strike. …You have a problem.”

“Oh crap.” Frown gulped, piecing together this little scheme.
Leaves crawled into the cockpit, grinned at the duo, then pulled the switch, causing the legs to come barrelling down towards the craft.
“SAUUUUUR!!” he shouted, leaping off the machine into the safety of my arms. Klepto flew off as fast as he could, and we watched as the legs came down upon Suicune II and the machine, causing the entire thing to fall over. It hit the ground with a mighty crash.

I landed nearby, disappointed that the entire thing didn’t explode. I wanted an explosion, dammit.
Nearby, James gave a thumbs-up, indicating that they had defeated the Pokémon of Chase and Frown. I walked over to the site of the crash, and picked up the battered body of what used to be Suicune II, and was now a silver pancake.
“This isn’t over, Chambers!!” Chase cried, still struggling against her stringy bond, “When I get loose, just think about what I’m going to do to you…”
“No my dear,” I said with a wicked smile, “I would rather get that explosion I was hoping for.”
James, Megan and Kong started to run as fast as they could as I knelt down by Leaves’ side.
“Leaves,” I said warmly, “Ever since you evolved into a Lebresaur, there has always been one really, really good thing about you. That nifty little attack you picked up, Cocklebomb. Use that, would you?”
Leaves nodded, and furrowed his brow, snarling.
“Time…for… BOOM!” he crowed, as a tiny little seed shot out from the top of his cocklebur and planted itself into the ground near the machine. There was a bemused silence, then a quiet ticking from underneath the dirt.
My Pokémon and I ran like madmen to get away, and still, Leaves could not help but cheer out, “I LOVE LEAVES!!”

There was an enormous explosion, and my Pokémon and I were all thrown aside by the blast. We landed painfully into the dirt, though I still managed to look up happily and watch as the evil duo and their Pokémon blasted off into the distance. It didn’t make any sense according to the laws of physics, but it meant that there would be less body parts to gather.
“Bye, Ricardo!” I shouted.
Miserably, the Golem waved back as they disappeared out of sight.

I looked about at my Pokémon. We were all charred, seared and sizzling.
“Leaves, Cubone, Klepto, Ampharos…” I said, smiling, “I’m proud of you all. You banded together and saved the day. You even survived a massive explosion to get away. …Though in retrospect, I could’ve returned you to the safety of your Pokéspheres to avoid that last part.”
Annoyed, tired and half-dead, all of them but Leaves fainted to the ground.

Megan, James and Kong walked up to me as I set the body of Suicune II on the ground. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at the unfortunate beast.
“It might’ve been trying to destroy us all…” I sighed, “But was it really evil?”
To my amazement, a wispy, shapeless figure rose from Suicune II’s body, and floated before us.
“Thank you for releasing me from my prison…” it said in a soft, low voice, “I am freed from my curse and freed from my Pokémon shell. And now…”
I leant closer to the spirit to hear what it had to say.
“Now…” it repeated, “I can KILL YOU MYSELF!!”
A pair of hands appeared from the ghost and wrapped themselves around my neck.
“Aaag!!” I wheezed, “Get him off get him off get him ooooooooff!!”

Just then, Ludwig ran up with a vacuum cleaner and sucked up the wicked spirit. I panted for breath and looked at the spirit inside, shouting and cursing at me through a small panel of glass.
“Alright, he was evil. Yup.” I said, nodding. “Thanks for that, kiddo. I was wondering where you went.”
“Where did you get that thing from, Ludwig?” James muttered, rubbing his cousin’s head.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he replied, “I bought it from the souvenir stand.”
He pointed at the Kong logo on the vacuum, and I peered oddly at the dreadlocked man in question.
“What?” he grunted, “They sell well.”

We walked back into the stadium, and Kong and I took our places back on the trainer’s balconies.
“This battle is still going, Chambers!” he yelled to me, “Not all of my Pokémon were KO’d by that battle!”
“Your Steelix? Mightyena? Torkoal?” I whined.
“Steelix? Archer? Torcher?” Kong laughed, “All fainted. No, the only one left is Mac9.”
I looked down at the Ninetales on the battlefield with amazement. Despite having been assaulted by Kabutops, beaten on by the Pokémon of Chase and Frown, and blown away by the impact of an explosion, he was still standing.

I then looked down at Leaves. He was wobbling around, charred and dazed. He seemed to be a bit less lively than Mac9.
The two lumbered towards each other in the center of the arena, and, to my surprise, people began piling back into the stadium to see the climax of this epic battle. Not just any crowd, either. I recognised a lot of them as my friends from my past. The elderly Hank was cheering Leaves on, Kyle Riddells was shouting for blood, the insane professor Punchinello was peering about mysteriously, the goofy waitress Katie was chanting for Aerosmith, even Uncle Terrell was there, asking people for money.
The crowd was roaring, and they were roaring FOR ME!!

I watched on anxiously to see how this would all come to an end. And, lowering his head, Mac9 bumped softly into Leaves. The Lebresaur stumbled around, then fell to the ground. He was out, and it wasn’t likely Mac9 was going to fall for that Sunny Day thing again. It was a lame ending, to be sure.
“I… lost?” I said quietly out of the range of the Pokédex DS, so that nobody could hear me.
“Is that it?” Kong yelled. His voice echoed across the stadium, “You only used eleven Pokémon, do you have anymore or not?”
I looked around frantically. I had no more Pokémon on me, I couldn’t very well grab my phone and get Professor Gum to send me another one… It looked like it might’ve been over…

Then, I heard it. The sound. That one, unmistakable sound from behind me. The incredible sound that would change my week in ways that I couldn’t imagine, not even if I tried really, really hard to imagine it.

“Cyndaquil!”

My eyes wider than ever before, I turned about and spotted the Mintythrill that had wandered onto the trainer’s balcony. Slowly, gently I scooped it up and held it over my head.
“I HAVE ONE MORE!!” I roared, “GOOOOOO MINTYTHRILL!!”

I hurled the shocked Pokémon at Mac9 with such force, it clobbered the Ninetales over the head and caused it to faint. The referee walked onto the battlefield and raised the bemused little Mintythrill’s claw.
“Your winner, and the new Champion of Furudo…” she shouted, “ANTHONY CHANDLER!!”
A mighty roar rose from the crowd, drowning out my protests that she had gotten my name wrong.

Regardless, somehow, after much crafty effort and more cheating than a loveless relationship between two mafia members, I was the Champion of Furudo.
********************************
In the front office of Big Gib’s Pokémon Ranch, we waited for the moment for me to finally gain employment. Ludwig played with some confetti that he had gathered from the stadium, then looked up at me.
Megan and I danced in giddy little circles over my victory, along with my Pokémon, including my new day-saving Mintythrill appropriately named Victory.
“Hey, settle down there, champ.” James chuckled, and Kong crossed his arms as he stood in the corner.
“Don’t get used to that, Chambers.” He said quietly, “One day, I will be Champion once again.”
“No doubt!” I replied, “But until that time, I will be Champion Tony Chambers… Employee!!”

Anna walked out from Big Gib’s office, smiling.
“Big Gib will see you now, Mr. Chambers.” She said, and along with my championship-winning Pokémon, I skipped into Big Gib’s office.
It was well-illuminated this time, and Big Gib sat in his chair, behind his desk. He had his fingers pressed together as he looked down at the floor.

“Greetings, Mr. Gib!” I said merrily, “I take it you heard about the battle?”
“Yes, I did.” He replied.
“And you’re fully aware that I am the Pokémon Champion of Furudo!” I cheered.
“Yes, you are.” He muttered.
“And now, I’m about to get a job here at Big Gib’s Pokémon Ranch!” I shot a fist to the air, and smiled at Leaves.
“No, you aren’t.” Big Gib said with a frown.
I danced a jolly little jig, before I realised what he had just said.
“Wh-whaaaat?” I gasped, “What do you mean I aren’t??”
“I’m afraid the position has just been filled recently.” Gib replied, and grabbed out a file for the newest employee.
I grabbed it angrily from his hands, and turned pale when I saw the photo in it.
“Meet the champion of being an evil being who just escaped from a vacuum cleaner…” Gib shouted, throwing his arms to the air, “Suicune II’s ghost!”

Lacking any more energy to question this insanity, I tilted over and fainted. As I landed on the floor, Leaves slapped his forehead, groaning. He looked across at my other Pokémon, then at me on the floor, unconscious.
He opened his mouth, and he wailed that which we were no doubt all thinking…

“…Aww Hölle.”

Drago
20th February 2006, 07:14 PM
And finally, the third-person epilogue I wrote up a couple minutes ago. :heh:

TONY’S TIMES
Epilogue

Wendy Smyth smiles at the camera from behind her desk. It isn’t a genuine smile, but a pleasant one all the same.
“And now we bring you over to our top stories in sports with Matthew Knight.” She says, as her face disappears from the screen, cutting over to the tall, grinning figure of the news station’s sports caster.
“It’s a big week in college football with the championship game between the Dezu Emeralds and the Yamashuta Hornets, and there’s a special ‘tanjobi omedeto’ wish for a certain superstar today, but we start with the biggest thing in news today.”

A graphic appears onscreen next to Knight’s face. It shows newly appointed Furudo Pokémon champion Anthony Chambers cheering, tears in his eyes and his arm raised victoriously into the air.
“In one of the year’s most interesting stories, it seems that there are matters still unattended to for young Tony Chambers, who claimed the title of Furudo Pokémon champion from long time reigning champ, Lamont Kong.”
The image changes to a cackling Chambers, pointing malevolently in an unknown direction, surrounded by fire and destruction.
“Not one day after becoming champion, Chambers was accused of multiple charges of manslaughter, as well as charges of misdemeanour and public idiocy. One of the many pressing charges was local Pokémon Ranch owner ‘Big’ Gib Gilmore.
Chambers allegedly spent half an hour lying unconscious on Gilmore’s floor, before awaking and accusing Gilmore of ‘ghost employees’.”

Footage is shown of a battered Gib Gilmore in front of his ranch, surrounded by reporters and cameras. He is bruised, limping and has his arm in a cast.
“The boy just went wild…” says Gilmore weakly, “He attacked me relentlessly. Additionally, I have suspicions that one of the Pokémon with him stole my wallet.”
The image returns to Matthew Knight.

“Former champion Lamont Kong was unavailable for interview,” Knight continues, “But he did release the written statement, ‘I will be the best once again, I am God, bring me your soul. Ahahahaha. Haha.”
Knight pauses, and nods slightly, as though he had just heard something that the cameraman did not pick up.

“This just in,” states Knight, “Tony Chambers has been apprehended by police in his hometown of Burake Town. We bring you now to live footage of this event…”
Cut to footage of Tony Chambers, being lead forward by police, bound by handcuffs and with a noticeable bruise on his forehead.
“I swear,” Chambers shouts, “They weren’t mine! They were medicinal!! …What? Manslaughter? Pfft, slaughter is such a harsh word. I prefer manwhoopsies…”
Chambers’ head whips towards the camera, “And either way, I didn’t do it! It was Shuya Nanahara!! NANAHARAAAAAAAAA!!”
Chambers disappears into the back of a police car, then the camera pans back to an unidentified Ivysaur-like Pokémon, being carried by five officers.
“Nooooo!!” the Pokémon wails, “I love LEEEAAAVESSSSS!!”
The Pokémon scratches and spits on the officers and, in the midst, grabs a flashlight which he begins swinging at them. He is dropped to the ground, and holds the flashlight menacingly. Another officer appears, who sprays the Pokémon in the eyes with mace. He responds by hacking a clod of venom back at the officer, before passing out.

Several other Pokémon follow, including a Cubone, Xatu, Ampharos and a tall man with a shirt that says ‘Terrell’.
The shot returns to Matthew Knight at the sports desk.

“Things do not look good for Chambers,” Knight states, “The remaining eye-witnesses are said to all be testifying against him in the upcoming court hearing, and there are several articles of evidence detailing his sordid history of menace and destruction.”
Knight puts on a smile of his own, just as false as the one Smyth had displayed earlier, “We’ll return with other events in sports later on in the broadcast, as well as the answer to our trivia question, ‘How long does it take for a Kecleon to pop in the microwave’.”

The camera returns to Smyth, who nods in Knight’s direction, “Thank you Matthew.” She says simply, before addressing the next report.
“In related news, the people have decided! Two minutes ago officials in Yamashuta City had announced the results of the electoral decision for Furudo’s prime minister. Claiming an overwhelming 73% of the votes was Burake resident, Othello Michaels, a former landlord commonly referred to as ‘Mr. Michaels’. Coincidentally, Tony Chambers was one of the residents residing under prime minister Michaels, and in a shocking turn of events, Michaels has just flexed his political muscle by forcing all charges against Chambers to be dropped. We bring you now to live footage of prime minister Michaels in Burake Town.”

Prime minister Othello Michaels stands next to Tony Chambers. Chambers seems to be leaning away from Michaels, repelled. Regardless, Michaels is smirking.
“When I heard that Chambers was being hauled off,” Michaels says to nearby reporters, “I was thrilled! But then I realised, if he’s in jail, he can’t pay the rent he owes me…”
Michaels looks over at Chambers, who smiles nervously. The headline appears at the bottom of the screen, ‘Chambers sentence cut down to $20 rent fees’.
“I’d be glad to pay you, Mr. Michaels…” Chambers mutters, slowly moving away, “But first, I want everyone to see Leaves’ great new trick!”
The crowd watches as Chambers continues to move away from the scene, while the now-identified Lebresaur steps forth. The diminutive Pokémon has an inexplicable toothy grin on his face.

From the distance, Chambers shouts,
“Cocklebomb!”

There’s a sudden flash of light, before the visual image on the camera disappears. A loud sound, then silence. Afterwards, a devious little Lebresaur cackle.

Powarun
20th February 2006, 08:32 PM
Awesome ending. I like how Chambers did not go to jail because of rent fees. You would think he would have gotten some money by winning the tournement, or did that just go for reconstruction. Adding Victory was a great way to end the series. Although Victory does have my name in it, the Mintythrill winning the tournement was priceless.

Mew Trainer Rose
21st February 2006, 01:07 PM
*Stands and applauds*
Encoure! Encoure! *waits expectently, but no characters come out to take a bow.* Darn...

Well, that had a good run. A lot shorter than the last fic, though, and I'm a bit curious about why. In any case, it was great to see Tony finally catch a Mintythrill...er...Cyndaquil...and Cocklebomb was absolutely priceless. I never expected that convoluted scheme on top of the death machine to work. Or for Tony to win with a wild pokemon that randomly wandered right up to him. Should you ever decide to enrich the board with your brand of randomness once more, I shall be glad to point and laugh at your characters. Uh, I mean cheer then on. Yeah. ;)

darktyranitar
22nd February 2006, 08:36 AM
Yeah! What a good way to end the story! *applauds*

It was great to see how Tony had got Cyndaquil, and managed to win by just a throw. Heck, I thought it was going to be something else more weird, like throwing Uncle Terrell instead. Anyway, nice way to end this story with a Cocklebomb and the evil chuckle of Leaves. Very priceless indeed.

I had fun reading the whole fic, and I must say that this is one of the funniest story that I had read for some time (it could be that I had not read any other comedy fic). If you're going to bring more randomness into this board, then I'd be reading them too. It would be a lot of fun! :smilie:

Drago
3rd March 2006, 05:34 AM
Powarun: lol that idea of the winnings being spent on renovation is classic. I tell you what, if I revise the fic at any time, I'll be sure to add that in. Acredited to you, of course.
Mew Trainer Rose: *Uncle Terrell takes a bow, then leaves when nobody cares* Yeah, I had always intended for Tony's Times to be a short mini-fic, because the only way to stretch it out that I could think of would be with travel, thereby recycling Minty Thrill's plot and essentially becoming MT part 2. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I just thought a quick update on Tony's times would be appropriate (hence the title). Additionally, I can never seem to finish long fics, or ones that I had intended to be long. Ever read Howl in the Dark? Nah, me neither. lol
darktyranitar: Thank y'all, and I tell you what, if you want to read another comedy fic, I seriously recommend tracking down Tyler & Magmar by Silver Machop. That there is some funny stuff. Just a shame Silver never seems to be on anymore...

So, umm... this would normally be the time for me to post a chapter or something, but since I don't have any more, I'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs for a little while. Eventually I oughta request to move this to the archives, but I think it should sit and stew for a while first, eh?

And umm, in case you're wondering about anything else in the works, all my ficcing will likely be nixed due to university priorities. One of these days I'll post a revised Minty Thrill (and maybe even finish it, too), but don't expect that any time within the next couple years. ^^;

Powarun
3rd March 2006, 07:21 PM
Lets just pray the board lasts a few more years. Yeah its sad that some of the awesome fan fics posted here are gone an end without a proper ending.

You know, although I wish this to be longer it is of the right length, thanks for the entertainment.

Drago
6th April 2006, 03:17 AM
Yeah I know. I gotta quit bumping this sucker up, it's getting a bruised noggin and all. Regardless, I thought I'd give a shout-out to all my homeys who voted for me in the Silver Pencils (first year in which I actually voted, too!), you know I do it for all of y'all! ...Seriously, it's not like I'm doing this for my health.

I also thought this would be a spectacular time to point out that I've edited pretty much every chapter to iron out any stupid spelling/grammar mistakes I no doubt made, as well as announce my definite retirement from ficcing. All that uni work kind of makes tippy-tappy-typing a substantial tale a mite tricky. It also means no Minty Thrill rewrite from me, young'uns. Ooh, maybe someone else could take over the reigns on the franchise? That'd be kickass. Totally. lol
Of course, I had supposedly retired from RP'ing two or three times to no avail, so it's not like you should be surprised if I change my mind for no apparent reason. For one thing, I would still consider writing short joint fics or something of that ilk. Hahaha. ...Ilk.

Once again, I want to thank anyone who ever replied with encouragement, advice, or just a plain old 'good chapter'. Unlike last time however, I also want to thank any and all closet readers who found themselves browsing over the fic once or twice, I appreciate the time you took just to click.
All that goes for Minty Thrill and Howl in the Dark, too. I enjoyed my time writing for your amusement! ^_^

Later, peeps.
Tony's Times, commenced November 7th, 2005
COMPLETED February 20th, 2006
...then it sat there for a little while. :heh:

mr_pikachu
6th April 2006, 01:10 PM
This topic has been moved to The Completed FanFiction Archive (http://www.pokemasters.net/forums/index.php?board=88).

http://www.pokemasters.net/forums/index.php?topic=43150.0