W00t! Fanfic Writing Contest (Mod Approved)

[Chris 2.1]

Well y'all, I done decided to host a wee Fanficcy Wri'tin competition for y'all. *cough*. It's MOD APPROVED!, So no-one can ever try and jail me for it, yahoo!

Ok, the contest is split into two catagories - Pokemon, and Real Life. You have to write a piece on either, the information is below, and a select team of amazingly talanted individuals (IE: The Mods :rolleyes: ) will judge and mark your entries. Ok, info is below:


1)Pokemon: write a descriptive 1-1 Pokemon battle between Delcatty and Kingler.
--No specific length
--It can be in the First, Second or Third perspective
--Creativity will generally help here.

2)Real Life: Write a few paragaphs describing a hostage situation.
--Things like character, setting and things are all up to you
--Don't put yourself out of the way to create a clever, twisting plotline: you're being marked on writing skills, not script-writing skills ;)
--Perspective is up to you
--Creativity will help
--No ending/start is required, really. Just an extract from the scene.


Umm...I think that's it :0). Erm yea, so If the Mod's want to nitpick, be my guest, and y'all can enter and whatnot.

CLOSING DATE: TBC...

So good luck to everyone who enters...I hope I can enter! *whine*. Little do these fools know, the competition is FIXED, so I shall win! Mwa-ha-ha-ha....


PS: The prize! A wee deely for your sig. Don't worry! Everything's sorted....*weak smile*. I have to go. *Disapears*

[Whisper in the Wind]

well, I could put a Delcatty vs Kingler battle in my fic (is currently writing a chapter). Would that count?

[Chris 2.1]

Erm, not quite, Onimusha. You post the peice of writing here, in the CONTEST, pardon my broken capslock, hence the reason I opened a seperate topic about it. You post it, Mods judge and mark it, you get a neato score back and we're all kool.

[Dragonfree]

Does it matter whether the Delcatty and the Kingler have trainers? I'd like to have a try at wild ones...

Also, should it be just the battle or can there be a bit about why they're battling anyway?

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, since I don't know what the hell a delcatty is, I'll just go with the hostage situation. [this oughtta be... odd... and scary] I don't really think I have much of a chance here, especially since the reason I was disqualified from the mod contest before was because my writing was too weird, but meh, I like writing, and it takes a while to get InTehMood 4 me. So here goes: HostageSituationNumeroUno:::!


There's this bank, somewhere in the viscinity of the Bank. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Please, direct me to the nearest bank! I need some help finding it! Blablabla...

So anywho, there's this guy, let's call him Albino Joe. Ok, Joe? Good. So we have this AlbinoJoe, and he's poor. What a poor bastard, being all poor and such. Haha! I wish I had some money...

"A bank! I bet there's some ca$h in there!" rattled off A-B-J, spotting the Bank in a fit of Spotting Excitement. What fun. "Come on, buddies, let's go and get us some of that mad cash!"

He ran into the bank, followed heavily by three close guys, all sweating stains in a shirt that was much too small for the three of them. They really oughtta learn to share. I mean, it's only a shirt. Really.

"EVERYBODY FREEZE!" bellowed Joe. Into the line of Bankgoers he walked, carrying a $ bag with the $ on it. "THIS IS A WITHDRAWL! I WANT 75 BITS OF TEH MADD CA$H IN MY PALM THIS INSTANT!"

"And what," recited Monsieur clerk, "is your name, señor?"

"ALBINO JOE!" screamed AJ. "NOW HURRY! AND BE INSTANTANEOUS ABOUT IT!"

"Yeh, yeh"

"DON'T GET SMART WITH ME! I'LL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!!!"

Now on to our story...

"Yarrgh, this be a holdup, mateys!" howled the young british guy, robbing the bank and making TehDash for TehDoor.

"HELP! SOMEBODY JUST CARTED OUT OF HERE WITH TEH MAD CA$H!" yelled Albino Joe Jr.

"Oh great, said cops be comin' to said Bank," unhappied YoungBritt. "YOU! ALBINO JOE JR! YOU SHALL COME WITH ME AND BE TEH |-|0574G3!!"

"Fine, but only because I like 2 b teh m4d |-|0574G3." rebuked A-B-J Jr.




TEH END!

I lost, didn't I. :P

l8r

o_0
jimm

[mr_pikachu]

I'm curious as to who exactly is judging this (I mean which of the mods)? And about how long is this supposed to last? Are we talking a few weeks, a couple of months, or longer? I'd just like to know, since I've got tests all this week. It'd be nice just to have a little background information. Thanks, it's much appreciated. :D

[Chris 2.1]

Ok, there's a few probbies here ^^;; Let me sort this big blob of confusion jelly out!

Dragonfree: Not at all, they can be wild or trained.

TDM: Right, Thanks for entering! The peeps in charge will...well, look at it and whatever, erm DratiniHaunter13's doin some of this so it might be him!

Mr_Pikachu: Martin/DratiniHaunter is, and I presume any fanfic mod with free time will happily judge and mark them. I may also give a hand, it just depends, although I'm probably not needed. I didn't include it because I didn't think it was all that necessery, but thanks for asking! ^^

Erm, well as for a length, it doesnt' have a limit as of yet; I'll update....*sheepishly runs away*



Ok, any more Q's, post them! Any more entires, post them!

\ /
\ /
Peace,
--Chris

[Dragonfree]

You only answered one of my questions. Does it have to be JUST the battle or can I include also what the heck is up with a wild Delcatty battling a wild Kingler?

[Whisper in the Wind]

could be over territory......

I think I might have a go at this. Does it just have to be the battle?

[Could do with writing battle's Practice]

[Dragonfree]

Well, I have something planned, as long as I'm allowed to make a bit of a background before the battle starts...

[Chris 2.1]

Zuuki:): Yea a background's fine, but remember your writing skills are being tested here, so make sure to have lots of powerful, visually excellent description. I've read TQFTL, TTC and all your work - you'll do great :)

Onimusha: Hey, that's great! yes, just the battle between the two Pokemon. Practise makes perfect! (although your works very good atm :))

[Oakbark]

***
I like the competition idea Chris!
Erm…I’m tied up with exams and all that so you’ll excuse my short entry please. I quickly wrote this to enter the competition so rate away! I know it's rubbish, and feel free to criticise, bearing in mind i'd only time to do a short piece.

Pokemon Delcatty vs. Kingler

It was the Kanto League Final, and within the Kanto League’s new arena in Viridian City stood two triumphant trainers – triumphant apart from winning the final battle of the tournament that is. The giant screens on the western side of the playing field displayed the trainers’ faces – Plade was on the right of the screen, a sixteen year old trainer from Azuma Town in the south-west of Kanto. The cheery grin of his picture was in sharp contrast to his steely look of determination on the pitch. His dark brown hair rustled wildly about his windswept cheeks, and the bitter northern wind stung his face badly. Five of his Pokemon were blacked out on the screen, meaning he was down to his last Pokemon, indicated with a “???” on the screen.
But he was not alone – the girl he was battling was also down to her last Pokemon. She was a little more relaxed, her defeat of her opponent’s last two Pokemon evident in her twinkling hazel-coloured eyes. She smoothed her blonde hair back, and tied it roughly into a pony-tail. This was it – the last battle, and Sally was in no circumstances going to take any prisoners.

The commentator of the match heard the clang of a bell, indicating the beginning of the last battle. He stood up ecstatically and grasped his microphone tight.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people aaaand Pokemon, it’s time to decide this year’s Kanto Champion!!! Begin!!!”

Plade grinned smugly, and produced a poke ball. He rubbed its shiny polished surface and threw it into the stadium, which was a normal playing field.

“I choose you, Delcatty!!!”

The feline companion purred softly and landed delicately onto the field, giving a quick glance back at Plade. He nodded reassuringly and Delcatty poised for battle.
Sally was smiling, her poke ball grasped in her outstretched hand. She pointed it at the ground, so that instead of throwing the ball, her Pokemon came out from where it was.

“Go my darling! Come on out Kingler!”

The beastly crab monster dropped heavily onto the ground, its mega claw denting the surface it fell onto. Delcatty stepped back a space, and Sally laughed.

“Your kitty’s afraid of my Kingler! You’ll have problems at that rate…”

Plade remained motionless, but then shouted to Delcatty;

“Delcatty, use a Tackle attack!”

The feline bounded off across the arena and lowered her head, murmuring softly and quickly. She rammed her head into Kingler, and for such a small Pokemon in comparison with the crab, she did surprisingly well. Kingler toppled onto its back, but a nod from Sally told him what to do. Before Delcatty could get away, Kingler swung his claw to deal a massive blow to Delcatty. She was sent flying, tufts of her tanned fur suspended in the air, and a large gash at the bottom of her head. Plade went to run onto the field, but the referee signalled for him to stop. It was against the rules to intervene in the battle, but Delcatty was hurt…

“Geyser!!!” screamed Sally, and Kingler smashed the ground with his claw. The ground cracked loudly, and a jet of scalding hot water flooded the arena. Delcatty scampered from her slumped position towards a corner of the field, and upon reaching it fired a Thunderbolt into the hot water. She glowed angelically, erupting in a blaze of golden sparks, bolts of electricity circling her body. She screamed ‘Del!’ in a low growling tone and the electricity flew from its orbit around her into the steaming hot water. But Kingler pummelled its massive claw into the ground, and balanced on I while Delcatty kept up her attack. Plade was shocked, and Sally smiled thinly.

“That’s my Kingler’s little party trick!” she said. “Kingler’s acting as an earth for the electricity, so your kitten’s energy is being wasted needlessly!!!”

Plade groaned, and signalled Delcatty to stop. She stopped immediately, panting hard, and the remnants of the geyser water burning her toes. Kingler side-walked towards her, and Delcatty retreated – her head was throbbing and she was still losing blood from Kingler’s debut attack.

“Attract Delcatty!” shouted Plade, and Delcatty nodded in approval. She glowed a deep pink, and peppered Kingler with an array of heart-shaped attacks. Kingler brushed them aside with his claw, and Sally laughed.

“Oh my, you dirty little cat. Don’t you know a cat and a crab don’t make compatible partners? Especially when my Kingler’s special ability is not to be able to get induced by Attract. Don’t you think I’ve done a little thinking before keeping Kingler until now? Silly little boy Plade.”

Plade groaned with dismay. This girl had really done her homework, and since he only owned six Pokemon in total, she had known he would use a Delcatty. Him, on the other hand, was clueless about his opponent, and had devised no strategies. Thinking as he battled had worked fine until now, but maybe he wasn’t good enough… He looked at Delcatty in awe. She was fighting her hardest, even with all the odds against her, and a couple of nasty gashes and bruises to boot. Yeah, even if he was going to lose, he had to try his best. For the sake of the Pokemon who’d battled for him. Kingler had narrowly missed her with another Mega Claw, and he was moving in for another. If only he could get around his claw, the battle would be so much easier…

“Delcatty, use Assist!” he ordered in desperation.

Delcatty meowed eerily, and became encased in an orange shadow. When the shadow cleared, Plade’s other Pokemon Jumpluff, emerged. She blasted a Stun Spore towards Kingler, and the dirty blue particles came to rest on Kingler, which stiffened his body to the point where he could not move. The orange shadow re-appeared, and Jumpluff was replaced by Delcatty. Sally screamed manically, disgust evident in her beady eyes.

“What the hell just happened??” she asked her eyes wide and throbbing. “Tell me….tell me that’s not allowed? Ref?”

The referee shook his head however.

“Assist is an approved Pokemon attack as per the Revised League Rules 2004.” he replied. “Delcatty is perfectly in the right to call upon another Pokemon on her team through the use of Assist.”

“But…but that Stun Spore…” she moaned, collapsing to her knees. “My Kingler’s immobilized!”

“Which leaves me open to attack!” smiled Plade. “Delcatty, Hyper Beam!!!”

Delcatty nodded empathetically and opened her mouth wide. She began to generate a sphere of multi-coloured energy in her mouth, which kept circling around and around until it could grow no more, and then she released it at Kingler. The rainbow-like force smashed into Kingler’s soft underside, and tore his flesh away. As he fell to the ground, his claw cracked substantially, and Kingler blacked out. Sally stared at the screen as her image was erased from it, and in its place a giant ‘Congratulations! You’re the winner!’ appeared beside Plade’s picture. The crowd erupted in deafening cheer, and Plade ran onto the playing field to meet Delcatty. He hugged her tight, but the blood on his hand reminded him of her injuries. Clicking his fingers at the nurse on the side-lines, he gave Delcatty to her to be tended to. Plade turned to console Sally, but she was gone. This was it, he was a Pokemon Champion!!!

[DannyBoy]

Well this seems fun! Here is mine, I decided to do the Decatty vs Kingler one.






Fight for the Child




“Krabby! Krabby!” a small newborn water pokemon yelped. It looked at its mother, Kingler. She lay next to it basking in the early morning sun as the very few clouds passed by. The small crab began to lick its small pincers to make them all nice and shiny. Kingler watched happily as her new son began to bathe himself by himself.


She slowly got up and walked on the dew covered grass and over to a small light blue pond. Swimming was a school of Remoraid and Goldeen. She said her name proudly as she filled her large sharp red claw with some water. She finished getting water and closed her claw shut. She smiled happily and crawled back over to her baby.


She placed her large claw next to her child and opened it up. Krabby noticed the water inside and began to move its small white legs over. Kingler got her other smaller claw and helped her son into the claw.


“Krabby!” it cheered happily as it began to slash around. It opened its mouth and sprayed a small jet of water into his mothers face. They both began to laugh as they continued to play around.


Krabby tripped out of the claw and fell onto its face. The small crab’s eyes filled with tears as his mother helped back up. She leaned over and rubbed her face next to her sons and his tears were no more. He giggled as his mom tickled his small face.


She moved her head away and released a small clear blue bubble out into the open. Krabby saw it and began to chase it around in the light grass. The bubble soon floated over to a near by yellow and purple pokemon sipping some water out of the pond. The bubble popped on its head and it turned around angrily.


“DEL!” it barked at the small Krabby. It lifted its large paw and four sharp needle like claws came out. Kingler quickly came to her songs aid and blocked him from any harm. Delcatty swung its paw and slash Kingler’s rough face.


“KINGLER!” she shouted loudly. Delcatty back up in anger and its slender shiny tail stood straight up. Kingler looked back and gently pushed her son back by a large dark boulder to stay out of danger.


“DELCATTY!” the cat pokemon shouted loudly. It ran forward and leaped into the air. Kingler swung its large claw in the air and smacked Delcatty in jaw causing it to fall back into a smooth gray rock. Its head bounced off the rock causing a bump to form. Delcatty jumped back up and fire was seen in its evil dark eyes.


Delcatty opened its small mouth and began to let out a painfully loud scream. Kingler cringed at the horrid sound. Krabby watched its mother in pain and small wet tears formed around its developing eyes.


Delcatty quickly ran forward and smashed into the large crab pokemon causing it to tumble and fall over. Bruises and cuts formed all over the crab’s body as it cried in pain. Soon more tears formed and were released from the baby’s eyes.


“King…Kingler!” she painted as she stumbled to her up. It slowly opened its mouth and shot five clear bubbles out at Delcatty. The cat swiftly dodged them and opened its mouth and released dozens of clear bubbles at the aching pokemon. Kingler was shoved back into the large boulder which her son was behind.


Again, Kingler slowly got back up and its large claw began to glow. It ran as fast as it could and ran towards Delcatty. Delcatty didn’t see it coming and the large claw smashed into its stomach causing deep red thick blood to shoot from its mouth. Hope arose in Krabby’s eyes as its mother began to gain its inner strength back.


“CAT!” it shouted as it opened its mouth and bite the crabs head. Kingler moaned in pain as the cat dug its teeth deep inside. It lifted its paws and began scratching the mother with all its might. “Kingler!” it cried loudly. Krabby’s eyes again filled with more tears as its mother screamed in terrible pain.


Kingler opened its small claw and blasted a large blue jet of cold water at the pokemon. Delcatty tried to hold on but was pushed into a large dark brown oak tree. Leaves and apples fell smacking into Delcatty’s head causing it to yelp in pain even more.


The slender cat crawled back up and stared into Kingler’s hurt eyes. The fire between them grew larger and larger as they both ran at each other. Both pokemon smashed into one another and flew back and hit the moist ground.


Both pokemon lay on the ground not moving. Krabby saw it and crawled over to his mother. He looked at her and she was not moving. His eyes continued to cry water as he laid his small claws on his mom. He hit his mom softly with them and still nothing. Soon blood drooled out of her small round mouth. Krabby cried loudly as he laid his head on his mother’s dead body.


Delcatty began to move and stood up slowly. It saw Krabby lying next to Kingler and saw she was dead. It then smirked and stumbled off into the woods. Krabby looked and saw the large cut down its back. Delcatty was hurt badly and thick red blood poured from its body but it was still alive. “KRABBY!” it cried loudly.

Remoraid and Goldeen’s gathered by the edge of the pond and watched the newborn baby cry. Tears formed in all their eyes as they felt bad for the poor baby. Krabby soon cried itself to sleep.

[mr_pikachu]

Okay, here's my entry. I'm entering the Pokemon section. Here we go...


Mistake

I burst out of the sphere, landing softly on the battlefield. My short, golden fur bristled with intensity, and I shook my entire body to loosen up. Then, I saw my opponent.

What the heck is this idiot thinking?

“Each trainer has one Pokémon remaining,” a voice called from the side. I recognized him to be the “referee” of the battle. As if Pokémon need someone to tell them who wins and who loses. I snorted at the thought. “Both trainers ready? …Begin!”

The boy across from me called out to his Kingler, and the crab growled as his body turned a pale yellow. Within seconds his ruby shell had reappeared, but I was well aware of its increased strength. Kingler began waving his claw at me, daring me to attack. I wasn’t stupid; my Normal characteristic would do next to nothing against him, now that he had Hardened. My trainer, on the other hand…

“Don’t let that crab taunt you like that! Use Quick Attack and knock him off balance!”

I sighed to myself. How the heck did this kid ever become a trainer? A Quick Attack will hurt me more than that thing… but, on the other hand… Without a moment’s hesitation, I sprung after the Kingler, bounding my way towards him. As my sleek, purple headdress shook one last time, I leapt to the side, allowing a Crabhammer attempt to slam into the ground. My tail slapped into my opponent’s face, brushing the thick tuft of fur on the end through his eyes. He howled with rage before taking a blind stab at me with his smaller claw.

“Uh… Delcatty…?” my trainer called. I ignored his imbecilic protests toward my battling alone, and leapt over the Kingler as he tried to grab me with his pincers. The thing was becoming frustrated, but I knew I could run all day.

“Bubblebeam, now!” What a fool! Kingler attempted to turn around to face me, but I simply crawled beneath him and waited for the opportunity to strike. Once Kingler finally stopped moving, I slammed my whole body against his soft underside, causing him to scream in pain.

But I’d made one miscalculation.

Kingler groaned once more as his twiggy legs fell out from under him, leaving me trapped underneath. He was out cold, and if I didn’t get out from under him, I’d be next. Unfortunately, I was now lying on my stomach, with my legs flat beneath me and his massive body on top. There was no way I could get out of this… unless…

I’ve only got one chance… better make it count!

I slowly craned my head toward the crab on top of me. My eyes slid shut, and my head started vibrating. The tremors started out slowly, but rapidly grew in intensity. Within moments, my head was thrashing back and forth in a manner that would break the spine of most Pokémon. I heard a faint voice call to me, but I couldn’t hear it over the throbbing in my head. I was almost there…

And then it happened. My mouth blasted itself open, and I fired the most intense attack I was capable of. The Hyper Beam smashed straight into Kingler…

But Kingler was no longer there. In my deep concentration, I’d failed to realize that Kingler had been recalled… it was too late. The glowing light smashed into the stands, drawing screams from around the stadium. The referee raised a lone flag toward my trainer’s opponent before running as fast as he could toward the exit. Everyone else, including my trainer, followed suit.

No… wait… I didn’t mean to…!

Before I could make a move toward my trainer, a group of four men, heavily clad in protective gear, rushed out from the exit and paused. They stared at me for several seconds before taking a few small, timid steps forward. I could clearly read the white letters on their Kevlar vests: Pokémon Control.

They thought I needed to be put down!

I took one deep breath in as they pulled out their stun guns. Once more I focused my energy. All my power, all my strength, concentrated into one mighty blast…

But I opened my eyes. These were people. They wouldn’t recover like a Pokémon would. They might even… die… if I attacked them. I couldn’t risk others’ lives, no matter how much it meant to me.

I jerked to the side and let my jaws slide open. The beam of pure light exploded through the side of the stadium, leaving a cloud of destruction in its wake. Without a look back, I raced for my newly created exit, leaving the yells of my accidental victims behind me.

Goodbye…

[ChicRocketJames]

Here's my effort for the Pokemon battle one!



Battle Of The Sands

Waves crashed into the shore, and, high above, a pair of Wingull squabbled raucously, waging an aerial battle over a scrap of food. Children scampered along the pier, laughing and shouting.

Down below, in the shadow of the large wooden structure, the two Pokémon stared into each others eyes, oblivious to all these sounds.

They had remained this way for the last minute, barely moving, eyes fixed on each other and waiting to see who would make the first move. The tiniest fraction of movement would decide how the battle would progress, and, therefore, how it would conclude. This was a battle neither of them wanted to lose.

The Delcatty was crouched low on the ground, his ears flattened back. Usually this position meant he was about to spring forward and wrap his claws around an unsuspecting morsel of prey. In such situations, his tail would dance and wave about, seemingly unable to contain the malicious excitement that the rest of his body restrained itself from expressing. Not so now—this was more serious than play, more important than hunting, and his tail was ramrod-straight and unmoving. His large black eyes were narrowed, twisting the scar that ran across one eye into an almost S-shape, while his ears were rotated around to hide the missing chunk which had been bitten out of the left one in an alley fight. His claws were fully extended, although they would do little damage against his opponent’s tough carapace.

The Kingler stared right back, his intimidating pincirs held open and poised to spring forward. They were held protectively in front of his only vulnerable spot: his large white eyes. The right pincir was dangerous enough, but the much larger, unweidly left was capable of fitting around the Delcatty’s entire skinny body, and more than capable of the force necessary to slice the feline in two. Behind its claws, a small bubble formed at the jagged edge of an equally fearsome-looking mouth. Sunlight shone through the gaps between the boards of the pier, giving its orange carapace a striped motif.

“I can do this,” the Delcatty thought. His opponent was more physically imposing, but he himself knew more techniques and had more battle experience. It would be tough, but he felt confident.

Then, the static tension shattered as the combatants simultaneously sprung to life.

Delcatty leapt into the air, fangs bared and claws raised, ready to scratch and bite wherever he could. At the same time, Kingler swept his large left claw forward in a slow arc. The weight of the appendage made it unweildy, but also more deadly. The pincer smacked into the Delcatty in mid-air with a meaty thump, sending him off-course and crashing into the sand. He rolled over a couple of times before coming to a rest against one of the pillars holding up the wooden pier above them. Delcatty shook his head and got up, stunned but not badly hurt, as Kingler advanced on him sideways.

The crab-Pokémon’s gait was disconcerting – just when you expected him to rush you straight-on, he scuttled to one side and caught you as you tried to escape. He never went where you expected him to, and those deadly claws were always ready to snap forward and close around a limb.

Instead of running to one side, Delcatty ran around the pillar just as Kingler threw out his large right claw again. The mandibles closed around the pillar and sliced into them. Kingler’s eyes widened in shock, and he relaxed his grip before he cut entirely through the pillar and brought the pier down on top of them. The two mandibles of his claw stopped just on either side of Delcatty’s body, and as be breathed out a sigh of relief he felt their sharp edges dig into his ribs. He ran forward out from underneath the pillar, hoping to take the battle out onto the open sands of the beach.

He gradually stopped running, and looked over his shoulder.

Kingler was still standing underneath the pier, his claws stuck into the thick pillar. He was tugging on them, pulling hard, a look of intense concentration on his face. Delcatty snickered; evidently the claws had sliced into the pillar easily enough, but he was now having trouble removing them. After observing a moment to make sure his foe was truly stuck, Delcatty trotted back over the sand. Kingler saw his coming, and redoubled his efforts to extract his claws from the wooden pillar.

Delcatty stopped before the stuck Kingler to think. How should he play this? Which of the many attacks in his arsenal would be best to take advantage of this situation?

An idea came into his head. He knew what to do.

He lowered his head and began making a rasping, retching sound in his throat. His eyes squinched shut, and his head shook from side to side. He looked like he was struggling with a particularly troublesome hairball. His stomach sucked up even farther into his body, and his abdominal muscles worked as he drew on the benefits of every rotten fish-head and half-decomposing pizza he’d scavenged from an overturned dustbin for his entire miserable existance as a stray.

Kingler, sensing what was coming, gave his trapped claw an even greater tug, and this time succeeded in pulling it farther back. A bit farther back. He was still stuck, and redoubled his efforts to free himself.

Delcatty raised his head and opened his mouth, exposing his small, yellowed fangs. A low gurgling sound emerged from down in his throat, and began rising. Suddenly, a jet of dark purple liquid shot forth from his mouth, flying through the air towards Kingler’s face.

The crab’s eyes widened, and he raised his free claw before them. The Toxic bile splashed over it, but his eyes were protected. He shook his claw irritably, and the Toxic spattered onto the sand, where it made a faint hissing noise. With one final mighty tug, his left claw came free. Turing sideways, he scuttled towards Delcatty, claws clicking in anticipation of revenge.

In surprise, Delcatty turned and tried to flee. Kingler lunged forward, his pincer snapping shut over the air where Delcatty’s face had been a few seconds before. A tiny white hair floated to the ground, and Delcatty noted with annoyance that one of his whiskers had been shorn off. A lucky escape.

But as the cat turned tail, Kingler shot forward with his claw once more, and this time they closed around Delcatty’s tail.

The cat gave a mewl of surprise, but there was no pain. The expertly-controlled pressure of the claws was just enough to trap his tail, not enough to amputate it—which would have let Delcatty escape. Instead, he was now trapped, and being dragged backwards towards the Kingler.

Delcatty mewled and writhed on the sand, kicking and twisting, claws trying and failing to find purchase on the fluid silica. He was being dragged helplessly by the Kingler—and with alarm, he noted they were heading for the water’s edge. He began to flail more, his struggles becoming more panicked, as years of acute hydrophobia came bubbling to the surface. But still the Kingler’s giant claw held him, and still he was being dragged inexorably into the water.

The first cold splashes lapped around his body. Wet sand streaked along his sides and was flung into the air as he clawed uselessly at it. The water level rose, up over his hips, chest, and finally his head, as the Kingler scuttled along the bottom and dragged him down too.

The futility of his struggles finally hit him, and he stopped wasting energy. To get out of this, he would have to remain calm. He stretched out his neck and broke the surface of the water, filling his lungs with air before a sharp tug on his tail dragged him back under. He opened his dark black eyes and stared around in the blue murk. The Kingler was scuttling down the sharp incline of the shore, dragging him deeper and farther out. Bubbles floated up from its body every so often; the crab couldn’t stay underwater forever, but it could outlast him, anyway. There was only one thing he could do.

Delcatty squinted his eyes shut once more and tensed every muscle in his body. He concentrated hard, trying to get every neuron in his body firing to maximum capacity. He hadn’t used this technique in years, but it never seemed to have left him—doing it now was like the first time he’d ever done it with his trainer, many, many years ago. His muscles, first taught with tension, suddenly began to feel alive. A tingling sensation rippled across his entire body. He could feel the charge building up right in the centre of his stomach, growing in intensity, spreading out through his chest to his legs, head and tail. Time seemed to slow down. And as it reached the right level of intensity, he realised it was time to let it go. Delcatty relaxed his muscles.

A surge of electricity radiated out from Delcatty’s body and into the water. The Thunderbolt coursed down his tail and into Kingler’s claw, which instantly released its grip. Delcatty began kicking frantically, and came coughing and spluttering to the surface. He saw he was just a few feet away from shore, and began swimming in ungraceful, jerky motions towards the sand, always fearing that he would feel Kingler’s pincer close around his tail once more. He never did. Eventually his feet touched the sandy bottom, and he dragged his soaking, shivvering body onto the shore. He lay there, gasping on the sand, too exhausted to even shake himself dry.

He didn’t know how long he lay there. Gradualy his strength returned, and the burning in his lungs and muscles faded. He shakily pushed himself onto his feet, and was thrust rudely back down face-first into the sand.

Kingler’s large claw held him there, either side dug deep down into the sand, encircling Delcatty’s body and preventing him even from wriggling. He was pinned tight, totally immobile.

Nonetheless he tried to struggle.

A croaking, watterclogged voice commanded, “Say it!”

To human ears the sound would have been a ponderous, slow “King-ler!” Delcatty, however, heard the true meaning of the words.

He tried to dig at the sand and free himself that way, but the claw could not even allow his limbs to move.

“Say it!” Kingler croaked again.

“Never!” Delcatty cried, his mouth full of sand.

“Say,” Kingler glubbed, “it.” He pushed his claw down deeper into the sand.

“No!”

“I can stay here all day, you know,” Kingler said.

With a flutter of wings a white bird with an enormous yellow beak dropped out of the sky and touched down on a rock, its webbed feet making a wet slap. The bird looked at them for a second.

“What’re you two fighting about now?” the Wingull asked.

“Mind your own business!” Kingler said. Then, to the still-struggling Delcatty: “Say it!”

“Rgh, fine!” Delcatty said. “Seasons six and seven of Buffy were awful! Bad! A total waste of time!”

Kingler made a liquid chuckling noise. “And Angel?” he asked.

Delcatty grimaced. “Deserved to be cancelled,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Hah!” Kingler cried in triumph. “Finally he admits it!”

He pulled his claw out of the sand, finally releasing Delcatty, who slunk away from him looking irritated.

Wingull sighed. “You two really need to grow up,” he squawked.

They sat in silence for a while.

“You know,” Wingull said, “the TV in Harry’s Café is turned to the sci-fi channel. They’re showing reruns of Dark Angel, and the door is open. You guys want to go sit on the railing and watch?”

“Sure,” Kingler said.

“Whatever,” Delcatty muttered.

“Oh, you two shake and make up!” Wingull said.

The cat and crab turned to face one another. Kingler extended his enormous claw, and Delcatty reluctantly extended his paw, which was swallowed up in it. They shook.

“There!” Wingull said, flapping himself aloft, “now let’s go watch some TV.”

As the sun sunk down into the horizon, the three Pokémon walked across the beach towards the Café.

[The Rusted One]

I thought I'd have a go at the hostage situation one, so here it is -


I can’t even remember what I came here for. What are they here for? Probably nothing at all. They didn’t come here to become prisoners. Nobody’s that stupid. Well, maybe they are; I mean, they’re here, after all. I’m here too. Why did I come here, again? I can’t think straight, I always get like this when I’m nervous.

I know what they’re here for. Well, no I don’t. I don’t know why they’re here, but I know why they’re here. I’m not making sense. It’s okay, though, I always get like this when I’m nervous.

They want something. Don’t they? Maybe they don’t. Maybe they’ve just found themselves here, too, and now they can’t get out. I can’t get out. They’ll kill me if I try. I’m scared of dying. Maybe that’s why they’re doing this, because they’ve done something, and now they’re scared of dying too. Maybe they think that if they do this, they’re safe.

They are safe. As long as we’re here, they’re safe. That’s why I’m here. But it’s not why I’m here, it’s only what I’m still here for. Right?

That lady’s looking at me. Why? I can’t help her. If I do, they’ll shoot me. They’ll kill me. I’m scared of dying.

I want to get out. What if I made a run for it? They might not get me, not if I run too fast.

I haven’t run in years, not since I was young, and fit. I’m not fit anymore. I’m not unhealthy, though, not enough to die. I’m not old enough to die. I’m scared of dying.

That lady’s still looking. I can’t help her. I can’t help you. Stop looking at me.

She’s crying. She’s scared. I’m scared. I want to run. I want to stand up, and run. But they’ll hurt me.

One of them’s coming. What do they want? What do they want? Why are they here? I don’t know. What am I here for? I can’t remember. I always get like this when I’m nervous.

There’s a desk over there. Maybe I could crawl behind it. Maybe I could hide. But they’ll notice I’ve gone. They’re all looking at me.

Nobody would notice if I disappeared, would they? They probably don’t know I’m here…maybe they haven’t counted us up yet? There are too many people here for them to realise I’m gone. But what if they do notice? They’ll hurt me. They’ll use me as an example, like they used Michel. I didn’t like him much.

The lady’s looking. Stop looking at me, I can’t help you. They’ll hurt me, and you. Stop looking. I want to scream at her to stop. I can’t though, they said not to make any sounds.

She’s trying to tell me something. I can’t hear her, she’s not making any sound. She’s not making any sense. None of this is making any sense. What are they here for? What am I here for?

One of them’s coming. She needs to stop talking, or they’ll hurt her. They might hurt me, too. She’s trying to talk to me.

I need to go to the toilet. Would they hurt me if I told them I need to go to the toilet? I always get like this when I’m nervous. What if I ask, and they hurt me? I don’t want to be hurt. What if they decide to hurt me?

I could make a run to the bathroom. It’s not that far away, I could make it there before they realise. But what if I don’t? What if they see me and shoot me? I don’t want to die. I’m scared of dying. Why am I here? I always get like this when I’m nervous.

[dratinihaunter13]

Looks like everyone is down entering, and it's the end of March...

I couldn't get a hold of any other mods about this, I guess we're all pretty strapped for time. Does that make me the sole judge?! =) I don't mind, it was a blast reading these, they all had their strong points and the decisions were tough. Thanks to everybody who took part in this writing contest. Here are my comments on each entry:

almost forgot, fair warning: I am much more critical in judging contests than in my typical replies to fics. Don't get offended!

Hostage Situation - 2 entrants

Mole – I think you already know this, but I find you hilarious, and laughed at almost every joke in your hostage situation. The jump to AJ junior did throw me off though. I understand the humor behind that not even being the story all along, but the transition confused me =(. It’s difficult to know how to judge your entry and your writing style. Originality points up the wazoo with your writing style, and the control of your sense of humor in writing also gets major props from me. As you probably know, your organization and all that “boring writer stuff” does take a hit. Cuz that stuff can be fit into your story without taking away insane comedy from it. Looks like you just had a free fifteen minutes and let your mind run wild.

The Rusted One – The beginning of your story did well with giving the reader an immediate question. Always a good idea to make the reader ask a question at the beginning, like in this case, who’s talking to me, what’s going on. If we didn’t know it was a hostage situation by the contest title, the reader could have been a little lost, but I don’t think it would be a problem. We’re in a nervous hostage’s head, which is cool, but not for as long as you keep us there. I mean, I’m not having a good time if I’m just listening to how scared and how annoyingly nervous this guy is. Imagine just standing there and hearing somebody next to you keep telling you what you’ve written, it’s annoying. I could have used a lot more background on this character, then maybe I’d sympathize with his fear a little bit more. The best visual in your story was the lady looking at the narrator, trying to tell him something. The tenseness of the situation definitely came through the whole account.

Pokemon Battle - 4 entrants

Oakbark – I like the Delcatty going to the male trainer. The final battle of Kanto is cool cuz it’s such a huge event, and that already carries a lot of anticipation with it for the reader. However, this huge event feel can be done without just making the battle a typical championship. Try to sometimes stray from using a big important battle in a stadium and instead a less important one that is made even more exciting by your writing. Great details in the story, like kingler’s claw denting the ground. I like the original moves like Geyser, as long as they aren’t too ridiculously powerful. I don’t know about the lieutenant surge battle rip-off from the anime though, using a ground against the electricity? Not too convincing either since kingler is all water type. The dialogue during battle was good, clever things to say, but Sally’s character didn’t really show up til toward the end of the battle. Would have liked to see her be snotty sooner. Nice approach putting in some blood, realistic stuff. Interesting take on Assist, bringing a pokemon back from faint. There could have been a better twist than that though. The final sentence was too obvious and just kinda stuck in there for something conclusive.

I Love Xtina – Great background story, I’m glad there was something else leading up to the battle. The good thing about it was that it didn’t dominate the scene, the battle was still the main event. Plenty of typos in this story, though: “songs aid (son’s aid)”. Inconsistency with sometimes referring to a pokemon as him/her, and other times as it. Some verb tenses should have remained in past tense. Also, some of the setting in the story, like the black boulder Krabby is led toward, is introduced too late. It comes as the action gets to it, which creates an image like I’m watching these characters on a blank sheet of paper and Krabby hits something invisible which becomes visible as he touches it. Introduce specifics about the setting earlier. Delcatty spitting out that thick red blood came out of nowhere for me. I don’t mind a good graphic description, but first there were vague ‘cuts’, ‘bruises’ on Kingler, all the sudden that strong image of blood-puke follows, it was just too big a jump. And don’t worry about letting us know who said “CAT!” or “Kingler!”, we know pokemon say their own names. ‘it’ can be a very vague pronoun, try to stay away from that pronoun whenever possible (make sure it doesn’t sound weird either though). I love the sad ending, very well set up with the happy beginning. The third party little Krabby was key to the story, and really set yours apart from the rest. Overall, I enjoyed the story.

Mr_pikachu – Your story set itself apart very well! 1st person POV from an arrogant, but talented Delcatty. I like the original thoughts this Delcatty gets, great role-playing by you as an author. The stupid trainer was a fun relationship to explore also. Delcatty was a very engaging character. Some of its little italic thoughts I could have gone without. Her actions and attitude can do most of the talking for her. Fitting end that suited her personality, getting DQ’ed for getting a little out of control. It was obvious she wasn’t going to lose to the inferior Kingler, but she did and that worked very well. Definitely didn’t need the Goodbye… at the end. Seemed overdramatic for Delcatty’s personality. Very well done mr_pikachu. You fit a complete story in a small space, nice to read. Good ideas for the battle too.

ChicRocketJames – Great description of the two combatants at the beginning. In a pokemon battle we need to have a great visual of the combatants to see the fight in our minds easier and with more conviction. You did this skillfully. “Unweildy” is not a word (unwieldy), and if it was, still don’t use that same word twice so closely together. The scene where the pillar fell on them both, and somehow Delcatty ran away and Kingler was getting poked by his own mandibles, that was confusing and hard to picture for me. The toxic spit-up was described well, and a good battle tactic thought. Shorn-off whisker, these little details are so important to a story. A battle on the beach, Kingler really uses his homefield advantage in this battle. Great idea taking the fight underwater, way to use your setting to its potential. A few annoying typos and mis-words in the story, like “taught” instead of “taut”. There was a long stretch of time from the beginning where the reader didn’t know why a battle was taking place. Some people can handle that, but some people can get annoyed by it. I understood why you did it, for the shock value of such a minor disagreement mentioned at the end. That, I liked a lot. It was a nice surprise ending to a very intense battle. With all the mention of amputation and slicing in two though, it’s hard to believe the pokemon were actually thinking that over a TV show. As fun as the exaggeration is, it’s a bit unrealistic. Still, it does make a point, and the story needed something to make it original. Nice work.
-----
And now for the winners. Again, props to all of you. Great writing. These decisions suck, but I did my best and read every word.

Hostage Situation - The Decapitated Mole

Brief comments: This may come as a shocker to some, but I stand by it. These two accounts were so unbelievably different in their writing and approach, it was nearly impossible to compare the two. Both did have their strengths, but in the end, TDM's creative humor won me over. TRO's writing was great and the thoughts were put down on the page very well, but again, it felt like the same thing over and over. Congratulations Mole.

Pokemon Battle - mr_pikachu

Brief comments: Thankfully, you four wrote differently than each other in this category, making it more enjoyable to read the storeis. Unfortunately, it just made the decision more difficult, but I went with mr_pikachu. Oakbark took a hit from not exploring the options of this contest outside of the typical trainer battle. ImmortalDreams had a very touching story, original, but the typos were too many and the rest can be found in my comments. ChicRocketJames's battle was probably the most intense, and most engaging, but mr_pikachu's displayed the better writing this time, coupled with creative ideas. It wasn't a championship, or a fight for life and death, but the writing made it seem even more important, and that won the competition.
-----

dang, those comments weren't so brief at all! Congratulations to The Decapitated Mole and mr_pikachu! Chris should have something to award you with soon. Thanks for letting me judge chris ^_^.

-dh13

[Dragonfree]

NNNOOOOOOOO! I was just finishing my entry! Stupid contest...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Wow, I actually won... Thanks for teh winning-ness, DH. I feel all special and such. I'd say more, but I don't really have teh time... so l8r j0.


o_0
jimm

Edit: Now where's my sig deely? :P

[Chris 2.1]

Congratulations Mole, congrats Mr_Pikachu, and congrats Martin for judging this! I would have helped, but meh, toast doesn't butter itself you know :-P

Umm Dragonfree don't worry, there'll be many more writing contests in the future, so you'll have your chance to post an entry in the near future.

Oh yea, I was actually gonna do something in this contest. *dumbfounded* Meh, i'll get some more toast. *goes*

[mr_pikachu]

Wow... *blinks* I actually won...

Well, um, let me just say, great job to everyone. There were certainly some exciting entries in both sections. I honestly didn't think I'd win mine. You all did great, and I enjoyed the enthusiasm you put into this.

And as for dh13: Um... thanks, man. We appreciate you judging this. About your judging... I didn't think I'd made that much of an impression. Huh. Well, I agree about the goodbye; I needed a clincher, though, and I couldn't come up with a good way to end it. In retrospect, it's better without that, you're right. But the thoughts were the best part for me in writing it. For one thing, I needed to offset the repeated use of "I", and for another, I just think it looks cool. :P But that's just me, and from the quality of your writing, your judgment's probably better than mine.

Again, dh, thanks for putting so much time into your judging, and the same goes for all my fellow competitors. And Chris, don't worry, we appreciate you. Hey, toast is hard to butter, you know! ;) Anyway, I guess I'll see you guys at the next writing contest! :wave:


P.S. Almost forgot! Congrats to you, too, TDM! Nice work! You really sttod out from the crowd... of... two people... never mind. But anyway, good job!

[Chris 2.1]

Winners, expect your siggy prize link very soon....Umm I'm getting it verified (I was the only guy for the job, so excuse the n00bness)

Also look out for more contests coming your way! We're scheming, me and Martin. Like ferreting ferrets....

[Chris 2.1]

Mr_Pikachu, Mole, here are your siggy things below. Tell me if they don't work or look weird so I can modify them.

Thanks y'all. Umm we'll keep this open until we know everything's tickety-boo.

Watch this space. New writing contest soon.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[mr_pikachu]

You think that's n00bish? Just listen to the massive patheticness of this question:

How do I put the picture in my sig? *blushes* I've never had a picture in my sig before... *blushes deeper* I still don't even know what all the vB code commands do... what the heck is PHP? *head explodes*

.......

But yeah, my question still stands. So... can anyone give me a brief tutorial? *blushes yet again*

[Chris 2.1]

Mr_Pikachu: Aww bless, lol.

Umm:

1) User Cp
2)Edit Profile
3)Scroll down to profile box deely
4) Enter the following:

{img}http://www.pokemasters.net/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=429941{/img}

Replacing the {}'s with []'s.

You should get this:

http://www.pokemasters.net/forums/attachment.php?s=&postid=429941


I hope that worked :)/:(


EDIT - DARNIT!

Help...please? ;_;' see, this is why I ain't a mod :-/

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, as I was in the process of posting before the switch to VB[whateverversionthisisiforget], we're in luck. I uploaded the pic to my webspace, so put this in your sig:

img]http://www.dorkasaur.com/jimbo/winnah.jpg[/img [but use all the required brackets. It should come out like this:

http://www.dorkasaur.com/jimbo/winnah.jpg

[edit: the img code doesn't work in this forum, I guess. I'll try it out in my sig.]

[edit2: Yes, it works in TehSig! But I've noticed that this version of VB doesn't work well with the dorkasaur.com redirect for my images, so to be safe, for the image address you can also use http://www.mv.com/ipusers/warrenfam/jimbo/winnah.jpg

o_0
jimm