View Full Version : Fanfic Writing Sprint: November 2008

Gavin Luper
17th November 2008, 11:59 AM
G'day everyone!

Well, we had such a good turnout for our inaugural Writing Sprint in August - not to mention a lot of fun - that we've decided to have another one (it's long overdue!). The next TPM Fanfic Writing Sprint is scheduled to take place over the weekend of the 22nd and 23rd of November; that is, this coming Saturday and Sunday.

For those of you who competed last time, you'll know how this works. For those who didn't, it's quick, simple and really quite enjoyable. The Sprint is a chance for any writer to write as much as they can on a given subject in the space of a weekend.

The entries are all posted in the same thread (this one), and aside from the theme, which will be revealed at the beginning of the sprint, there are no conditions on the pieces of writing. That means you can submit anything you want: poems, lyrics, screenplays, short stories, scripts, academic essays, full novels (^_^), streams of consciousness, mere dot-points of ideas and notes - basically anything, of any length, in any format.

You can post your efforts as soon as you write them, and edit them or add to them at any point during the Sprint until it closes on Sunday night.

There's no pressure to complete anything or unveil a grand piece of work at the end of the weekend, because none of the entries will be judged. This is just a chance for us to have some fun, enjoy some free-spirited writing and see where our minds take us!

To sign up for the Sprint, just post in this thread expressing your intention to participate next weekend; there's no obligation if you end up being too busy, so go ahead and have a crack!

With that in mind, I intend to participate in the Sprint myself! Hopefully you will too!


17th November 2008, 06:08 PM
I'll give it a go. :)

17th November 2008, 06:45 PM
I'll take the case!

...Heheh, been watching too much Adult Swim. Anyway, I'm in.

17th November 2008, 08:49 PM
Heck yes. This is exactly what I need.
And right after I finish my assessments!
W00t. Aside from going out on Saturday night , I will have plenty of time to write!

17th November 2008, 09:22 PM
I saw the last one it was interested and I think such a format suits me since I'm so incredibly lazy and not having to worry much about grammar or anything is wonderful.

So count me in.

Lady Vulpix
18th November 2008, 05:09 AM
This is bad... I have to hand in a project the next day. I'll have to spend most of that weekend working on it. :(

If by some miracle I manage to write something in the meantime, I'll post it here.

18th November 2008, 06:12 AM
I phailed the last one, but I'll give it another go :)

18th November 2008, 06:23 AM
I phailed the last one, but I'll give it another go :)

How can you fail this? :\ I thought you just write as much as you can

Lady Vulpix
18th November 2008, 07:51 AM
Exactly. You fail it by being unable to write anything.

Crystal Tears
18th November 2008, 02:13 PM
I'll give it a go.

18th November 2008, 07:24 PM
Exactly. You fail it by being unable to write anything.

oooooh. It all makes sense now

18th November 2008, 11:52 PM
I wrote half a story. :P I wrote the ending the other day, but there's still a quarter chunk in the middle that needs to be filled in. Sigh.

19th November 2008, 11:35 PM
I will be unable to join, being that I will be traveling this weekend HOWEVER if I'm lucky I might be able to join in on the later half of Sunday. If that is the case, I will most definately join! ^_^

21st November 2008, 06:27 PM
So... It's Saturday...

*looks around for topic*

21st November 2008, 06:35 PM
It's still Friday in the U.S.

21st November 2008, 06:56 PM
But it's saturday here.
AND It's saturday at Gavin's house.
And it'll be saturday there soon too.

Gavin Luper
22nd November 2008, 03:16 AM
I know I know I know ...

I thought it would be the right thing to do to post it on Saturday so that the Americans (the majority) will get their 2 days. Of course, that means the Aussies get less time ...

In future, how bout we just put the topic up Friday night Oz time and people can work on their own time zones? We're not judging or anything, so there's no need to be strict.


Choosing topic at random:


I have no idea how this will turn out :keke: so let's see how we go and use those imaginations!

3 ... 2 ... 1 ...


22nd November 2008, 03:23 AM
Time for one of the most nonsensical pieces I've ever written.


hjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhh

Ehh... hunh? Wha? Ugg....

Mmrgh. Meh. Nyeh.

Man, ugh. Must've fallen... mmgh. What time is--

Oh, shit! Noon? Damn it! Damn it all!

Gavin Luper
22nd November 2008, 03:28 AM
buzz buzz buzz buzz

finally, sleep.

22nd November 2008, 03:58 AM
A Companion Short to Scattered Lights

Ryan's POV:

Never buy alarm clocks for Pokemon. I'm not kidding; you'd just be wasting money.

I figured that I would buy three for each room that the Pokemon slept in. That way they wouldn't be so lazy.

Artemis the Umbreon, Static the Raichu and Cinder the Cyndaquil slept in one. Reaper and Ripper, my Scyther and Scizor partners, slept in another. And the new Pokemon, Stryker the Zangoose, shared the third with a Gallade named Ronin.

All of them had the alarm set for five in the morning. I was pretty sure that it would work, so I went to bed with confidence.

At five a.m., I heard three different alarms.

And then seven different battle cries.

The alarms stopped immediately. The Pokemon slept for a few more hours.

Later, I checked to see what had happened to them.

The first was burned to a crisp, either by Static's Thundershock or Cinder's Ember.

The second was sliced to bits and then smashed beyond recognition, courtesy of Reaper and Ripper's combined efforts.

I didn't even find the third.

"Hey, Ronin. What happened to the alarm clock I put in your room?" I asked the Gallade.

Ronin shot me a glare and said, "That annoying creature bothered Stryker so I sent it somewhere else."

An hour after that, I got a call from Shonta threatening to eviscerate me if I ever woke her up early again. "I know it was you!" she growled. "It has your scent on it!"

22nd November 2008, 04:24 AM

The best thing about going to sleep.
Is to dream about one naked lady.
The only problem with thinking about naked ladies is that one is bound to wake up wet. Waking up wet is fine and all unless one has a lady next to them.

More likely, she's fat and overweight and hasn't let you touch her for weeks.
Bound to be disappointed when waking up erect, she simply ignores you.
She'll go get up and nag away as you take yourself to the shower.
There you'll masturbate and go quite soft as she nags away.

You'll go to work and what's the bet the first lady you meet is quite sexy.
Far away the most likely thing is you hide away erect.
Its a constant life of wake and sleep, an endless cycle repeats.
And then that day you really want sleep your wife nags you for sex.

22nd November 2008, 04:44 AM
Abra the sleeping pokemon.

Abra the 18 hour sleeping teleporter Great pokemon to have if you need to go the pokemon center. Abra indeed is an enigmia. Its capability to sleep is legendary, not so legendary is its capability to do anything. And the difficulty in catching it? Well what is the point. You can't attack it for it will simply choose to teleport away. You could try a pokeball but more likely you'll just run out of them. A great ball surely is too great to bother with a pokemon that essentially just teleports. Largely useless in battle, one's difficulty is raising it to a level till it evolves.

And yet Abra's evolved form Kadabra is pretty decent. Leaning many powerful moves including the STAB attack Psychic. Its evolved form Alakazam is even better. And whilst not the powerhouse it once was in the first generation. Its great special attack means its also worth a try.

EXP Share truly must be the only way to go in raising an Abra to eventually evolve. But of course you have to catch it. One could try trading a Machop for Abra in Oreburgh city. Suggestion would be to catch a Machop at a Level close to 16 but not quite 16. That way when you make the trade in Oreburgh City, your Abra won't have many levels till it evolves to Kadabra.

On first evolving Abra into Kadabra, your sleeping teleporting Abra will learn confusion. Not the strongest attack nonethless, it'll do more than teleport. Eventually, by further battling with Kadabra, the pokemon will learn other moves. These include Disable, Miracle Eye, Psybeam and so on. To evolve to Alakazam, trade your pokemon and it will evolve.

One however, could teach TMs to Abra to get away from its lone attack Teleport. Certainly there are a few usefull TMs Abra could have. Abra the sleeping teleporter, on hand to get you to a pokemon centre in a jiffy and on hand to endlessly annoy you.

22nd November 2008, 06:18 AM
(Note: Yay, I finished my writing sprint in one sitting! Makes me feel that bit better about writing.)


Happy birthday, new me.

It was exactly one year ago that I had an epiphany. I have not slept since.

It was another one of those countless nights where sheep rammed into the paddock walls of my mind, breaking free. Splinters from the fence punctured my neurons, deflating them like belated birthday balloons, and I lost count again. I could never be a shepherd. It was one of those nights when my aforementioned failure of an inner shepherd jammed his knobbly cane into the soil, demanding my thoughts to flock. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Ego, superego, id, please take a number and kindly wait in line to be sheared. Ignore the buzzing blowflies and stay in order: breathe in, breathe out. Nothing could be more simple. Stand in line, you fools, this isn't a mosh pit, no elbowing. Now, I could teach you a few things about surviving in a mosh pit... It seems to be one of those rare things, only number 527 on the endangered species list, that is simpler than getting one's thoughts in line. Damn.

It was one of those nights when all I wanted was a pastoral lullaby and all that the radio would give me was a rendition of Cage's 4'33", its coughing audience mirroring my irritability. One of those nights when the blanket smothered my sweat, but whenever I kicked it off the night breeze would stroke my shoulders and turn them to ice.

Other people saw ghosts. Those nights, stretched endlessly before me like mocking plains (complete with sheep), were all I could ever see.

Countless hours of my life were wasted tussling with this crazed inner shepherd, I see now. I'm sure that part of me had good intentions: as far as it knew, shoes were made for walking and people were made for sleeping. And everyone around me agreed. If I made a tape of all the times someone said to me "You look awful. You should get some sleep", my insomnia would surely be banished. But this magical tape was never compiled, and night after night I continued to beat myself up with the shepherd's cane for not getting to sleep, working myself into such a state that my housemates thought I was having nightmares.

Until one day, when I read one of those "Weird but True" facts made to fill space in magazine layouts. I usually laughed them off, but this one caught my eye. It said that uninterrupted, long hours of sleep were a modern invention. The whipping-boys of the Industrial Revolution surely never got eight hours of sleep. And in medieval times, people would wake in the middle of the night, work for a couple of hours before returning to their bedchambers.

It was then that I realised that sleep was but a convention. While other people's minds may have evolved into a maladaptive state of requring eight hours in a vegetative state every day, perhaps I was different. It was true that although people often told me I looked as if I were sleepwalking, my mind's clock never missed a tick. Perhaps when my taciturn thoughts buzzed like flies headbutting flyscreens, when the black sheep of my mind rebelled against the shepherd with a big stick, they were trying to tell me something. Perhaps sleep was a lie.

One year on, I am a proud sleepwalker. I have discovered the coonstellations on inky velvet nights. I have listened to the rain weeping on the world as it snores quietly, oblivious. I have written a novel by lamplight. The shepherd has been forever banished from my fields; the fencese sway, unrepaired. My countless sheep run free.

But the blowflies are not satisfied. Their flyscreens are slashed, but they still buzz angrily, for my mind is their new enclosure. An enclosure which cannot escape its prisoners, twenty-four hours a day. I no longer attempt to keep my thoughts in line, but neither can I bid them leave. Some days I find myself longing for the shepherd to guide me home. In my maddest hours, I tire of restlessness.

22nd November 2008, 04:39 PM
Companion Short to Hemisphere

Every day, I get up at seven. Can't say "in the morning" because it's always night there. All the Organization members just have their clocks synchronized and we run on a 24-hour system like the other worlds.

The worst thing with being the bottom rung of the ladder is being given the most dangerous jobs that the senior members don't want to be bothered with even though they're perfectly capable of doing the job. It's like they want us out of the picture.

Number Nine, my tolerable teammate Demyx, had the worst job. Waking up the Organization members that wouldn't get up by themselves. Those members were not morning people.

"Nii-chan, you have to help me!" he pleaded the previous night. "Last time Saix almost chopped me in half!"

"First of all, it's Nixa. And second, I don't have to help you with anything. I don't have powers! I'm not as fast as you! I wouldn't last!"

"Just help me with Axel, please."

"Oh, hell no! I'm not waking up him!" I started to walk away but Demyx pulled me back by my hood. "Find another sucker."

"But he likes you more. He'd wake up for you." He dropped to his knees and hugged my waist. "If you'd just help me with Axel...I'll owe you big time!"

I had to be strong. I had to put my foot down, look him in his big puppy eyes and say...

"Fine, I'll help you this one time."

Dammit, Nia! What happened to being adamant?

I went to bed with the fear of being burned to a crisp the following morning. Luckily, I was able to sleep well, without dreams of a fiery hell.

Thirty minutes after seven, I was dressed and standing outside the door to Axel's bedroom alongside Demyx. "Okay, what's the best way to wake him up?" I asked Demyx.

"Just try things until something works. I'd go for a Wet Willie and then run."

"How about I try something that doesn't get me killed?" I carefully opened the door and slipped in. The alarm clock had turned off ten minutes after it started, unsuccessful in its attempts to wake the owner.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness while I stayed still. The only source of light was the small lamp by the bed. With that I could see a clump of red spikes sticking out from under the sheet. The sheets rose and sank with each breath that Axel took. "Axel?" I spoke up, barely above the whisper. No response.

Demyx poked his head through the slightly open door. "You're going to have to try a lot harder."

"Aren't you supposed to be checking up on the others?"

"Oh yeah." He left.

I sighed heavily and creeped to the side of his bed, momentarily pausing when I heard a soft murmur. With a shaking hand I peeled the covers back enough to see Axel's sleeping face. Wow. He looks a lot less maniacal when he's sleeping.

I had to stifle a yelp when Axel started to stir. "Little bitch..." he mumbled.

I recovered and leaned over him. "Who's a bitch?" I asked.

"Damn Nia...Xemnas's pet..."

"Of course she is," I replied while my eye twitched in annoyance. The guy slept like the dead and was even talking in his sleep. That gave me an idea.

I leaned close to his ear and did my best Axel impression. "Missy sure gets away with a lot of stuff, huh?" I whispered.

"Yeah...little bitch..." He chuckled.

Despite the trouble I knew I was getting myself into, I laughed with him. "Yeah, she needs to be taught a lesson. Yardstick, maybe? Belt?"

He laughed again. "Sore ass..."

I gulped. Better switch to a different track before I pay for it later. "But why punish her when it's Xemnas's fault for making her stick with you?"

Axel snorted. "Xemnas..."

"She isn't even supposed to be here! You shouldn't be her babysitter!"

"Not a babysitter..."

"The next time he tries to make you her little pet, tell him off!"

Another chuckle. "Blow me..."

I chuckled. "Yeah. 'Blow me.' Got it memorized?"

"Blow me."

"Good." Now it was time to wake him up. I gently pinched his nose with two fingers and held until he snapped awake with a gasp.

"What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?" he exclaimed in surprise.

"Demyx wanted me to wake you."

"There are gentler methods, you know." He smirked and made smooching noises.

I grabbed a pillow and dropped it on his face. "Asphyxiation is a gentle method. Now get up! You're already late as it is!" I left in a hurry and made my way to the daily meeting.

Not long after, during the meeting, the following conversation took place:

"Number Eight, I expect you to make some progress with Nixa's training."

"Blow me!"

Fortunately, he survived that mistake.

Lady Vulpix
23rd November 2008, 08:03 AM
Sadly enough, the following piece of text is non-fiction.

Pending Issue

Sleep... what does that mean? I'm not sure I know the answer. Not as much as some people seem to know. It hurts just to think about it. Someone's always walking around, and talking, laughing loudly or barking, and turning lights on... The lights hurt me more than anything else when I'm trying to sleep. And of course, there's the dog who walks in and out of my bedroom at least 4 times a night. And those are only the external factors.

There's also the extremely annoying issue of my own state. I'm overworked to the point where my mind just won't stop trying to find the solution to all the things that still need to be done. If by any chance I do get some sleep, say for one or two hours, I dream of the same things on which I've been working during the day. Old problems, new problems, fake problems... the latter leave me thinking: "thankfully it was just a dream and I don't have to finish it... but why did I have to work so hard on a problem which didn't even exist?" And that is if and when I do get some sleep. The rest of the time I just turn around on my bed, trying in vain to relax my aching body and think of anything else. A story, maybe. A story I'm writing or one I don't mean to write... anything to put my mind at ease. But under those circumstances I can manage it for a minute at the very best. Usually just an exchange in a dialogue, or even a single word that repeats itself in my mind until it becomes background noise. And the questions assault me again: how am I going to do this? Can I find a way to improve what I've already done? Is it even worth the effort?

And of course, the inevitable conclussion: how am I supposed to do any of that the next day if I can't get a good night's sleep?

I somehow seem to be managing, but I'm far from pleased with the situation as a whole. There should be a better alternative. Life is a learning process (among other things), and so far I've learnt many things. But sleeping... that's something I still haven't learnt.

23rd November 2008, 08:48 AM
A short piece, stemming off a story called "Fade" that I started a while back and never posted here.

Driving home at night always made me sleepy, especially when the world outside was like an enormous snow globe. All I knew was that I was driving along the country roads and staring into the darkness with this inner anticipation.

I wasn't sure what I was thinking or what I expected to happen- I guess I was just searching for some sort of miracle to drizzle upon me like the snowdust falling from the sky. It was Christmas after all- isn't that the time where miracles go up at least fifty percent than they would in a normal year? Of course, I was an optimist trying to be a hopeful pessimist and it just wasn't working this time.

It was almost two months now and still it hurt to breathe, it hurt to walk- hell, it even hurt to think because my mind was always plagued by him. This eventually led to my vicious thoughts thinking of every sad, miserable incident in my life and eventually I realized that I must be a magnet for misfortune.

Madame Misfortune.

"Fuck it all." I swore, turning off the radio that was playing another one of those mournful country songs. I know that country songs get a bad rap for having really odd titles and lyrics at times- almost ridiculously so, but they had an uncanny ability to touch upon romance a little all to well. At least, the bitter part of romance. Perhaps too many cowboys ditzed around with too many pretty girls and that was a recipe for disaster. I was a disaster. It was to the point where I was going, "Alright, if this next song is that one certain song then it's a sign and everything is going to come together.

I knew that it really didn't matter. That God wasn't going to magically bless me. Since I was a little girl running around in the golden fields back behind that rusted old barn, I knew God was never going to come down and give me a miracle. Yet like a fool I always find myself still begging him for one.

Later that night I'm sitting alone on the couch, flicking through the television. For some awful reason I'm watching the Lifetime channel and all they have on are romantic holiday movies. They're cute, they're hopeful... and I'm crying the entire time. I keep thinking, "It's silly to cry over a breakup that happened two months ago, right?" but I'm still bawling my eyes out because it isn't just the break up.

It's never just about any one thing.

Eventually I'm not just making hot cocoa anymore to watch these movies, I'm also drinking any liquor that has even a chance to go well with chocolate. I know I can't drink anything that tastes too much like alcohol anyway, so I figure if I just drink a lot of hot chocolate, eventually I'll get to the point where I want to be.

I've told myself that for about fifteen years now.

After movies, I'm in my bed staring up at the ceiling- trying to make pictures with the protruding white dots above me. Again, I find myself being five years old and tearing up while trying to talk- trying to make a deal with God.

"I know I don't talk to you much, but please... just this once let me go to sleep and then wake up and have everything be okay... or have one thing be okay, please? Fix dad, fix mom, fix him, fix my scars, fix my habits, fix me, fix anything..."

As I say it, my salty faucet starts leaking again because I know that I'm going to wake up tomorrow and there would be no answer. Then I start wondering if I keep testing myself, if there would ever be an answer or if eventually I'd be rotting in the ground for no apparent reason than, "she tested her limits and went beyond."

So much shit... and it all just keeps spinning around in my head. I think of everything they did, I've done or what I'm afraid I'm about to do.

Like the time I wondered how many Advil I could take before something would happen. I didn't want to die... I just ... wanted to punish myself? I've always hated myself- I believed that everyone has to hate someone- human nature, I suppose. Yet I can't hate others, so hating myself is the better option. I screw up so many damn times... and words don't work anymore so maybe actions would. So I begin to wonder about Advil, and eventually I take ten and find that really my body just is quite painless. So then it turns to twenty, then thirty, then forty, and then finally come the fall it becomes sixty and my body finally retches and signals that yes, it had indeed learned a lesson.

The same fascination with water- how cold did it have to be? Scissors- how sharp? Tile floors- how hard? So many questions and it was out of curiosity and self-punishment. Never do I want to die because I know, that doing that would hurt everyone far more. I've been hurt so much... I don't want that. Yet still, I need to feel something... anything other than this forsaken burning sensation in my brain from all the shit that keeps happening- that I keep remembering.

I really do hate him. I hate both of them. I loved them both. One was my hero, one was my lover. And then they fucked it up. Now I can't trust anyone, least of all myself.

Eventually comes the question of Nyquil. Google didn't tell me how many pills it would take to the center of dreamland. Ten? Twenty? The whole damn box? And the swirling... the dozing off... the feeling that you're in a fully lit room but yet you're maybe not happens. Then I begin to wonder, am I going to die? I didn't mean to die... God, if you please just give me a miracle, this one miracle- just this once.

Don't let me die.

I can't wait to get home- driving at night when the outside is so cold always makes me sleepy. I'm just looking forward to crawling into bed, snuggling beneath my blankets and letting another dreary day pass by while I escape into the only world that I can be happy in these days.

My dream.

23rd November 2008, 10:00 PM
Night Night Meds

Got a cold? Take some NyQuil!
Feel your nose clear.
Feel your head lighten.
Feel your body droop.
Feel your eyelids drop.
Feel the darkness close in.

24th November 2008, 01:51 AM

I always thought he was a bit, you know...
That's what his hairdresser said

Who? Not too sure who you're talking about...
That's what his teacher said

He used to say he was tired a lot...
That's what his friends said

There was always a smile on his face...
That's what his brother said

I wish I could've seen it...
That's what his father said

I wish I could've saved him..
That's what his mother said

Scream and yell!
That's what he wanted to do
Can't you hear my call?
That's what he whispered under his breath

He wanted to sleep the long sleep
I gave him that

Now he rests in my arms
Now he is free.

24th November 2008, 01:53 AM
I fail. LOL

Gavin Luper
24th November 2008, 08:55 AM
I am hurting lots because I just had a long reply written and the forum fucking deleted it.

The essence of it was:

- The sprint is well and truly over. Hope you all had fun. Now's the time to discuss the pieces, both those of other people and your own.

- HAHA Tara. I pretty much failed too.

- Brian, that was a funny piece and I hope you wrote it with your nose.

- FP, good on you writing about masturbation so frankly and humourously, I love that. It was grungy and yet humourous at the end, kind of a metaphorical shoulder-shrug to say "that's just how it is".

- Cadmus, that was a powerful poem and a fresh format, though I must say I'm usually a sucker for repetition in poetry. There was something haunting about the collective refrains ... like something terrible had happened and sleep was the sole refuge. It was a strong piece indeed.

- Everyone else, I'll try to reply to yours later if I get time... which I hope I do ... sigh.

Good job to all who joined in anyway. What did you all think of the topic?

24th November 2008, 09:18 AM
Much easier to write about, and a lot more interesting.

And it does seem that Brian used his nose for that piece. Hope he didn't get drool on the keyboard.

Gavin Luper
24th November 2008, 09:28 AM
Much easier to write about, and a lot more interesting.

And it does seem that Brian used his nose for that piece. Hope he didn't get drool on the keyboard.


That's good to hear - that the topic was interesting, I mean. I hesitated because I thought it might be inherently dull. But I guess the fact that you churned out so many pieces indicates otherwise. The Meds one made me laugh. I like it. Though again, that whole "sucker for repetition" is coming out in me again.

24th November 2008, 09:45 AM
I'll comment more later, my mind is sorta BLAH right now.

Ada - I realllly liked your piece! The language you used was very poetic in a way and I loved the epiphany he describes and how it ties into sheeps and shepards, to go along with the sleep theme. It was just lovely- especially the imagery of the shepard and sheep. :3

classy - That Scattered Lights bits was hilarious! xD I love the idea and especially Shonta's angry call afterwards. xD I can just imagine hearing three alarm clocks and then the cries of pokemon as they destroy their "opponent." xD

fp - I have to agree with Gav, I really liked that poem you wrote. It was just gritty and crude, but in an appealing away- it was realistic and I could totally imagine a ton of people that fit that sort of mentality. It was really interesting and for some reason the ending seemed to really go in rhythem in the poem for me and I found the language use well done.

Lady V- Pfff, non-fiction?! WHAT IS THIS?! xD No but really I can relate to what you wrote. @_@ Our brains buzz over things too much! They just need to calm down!

Great job guys. :3 I'll comment more laterz.

24th November 2008, 06:13 PM
Ehehe... I clicked the wrong button when trying to quote Gavin's post and almost ended up deleting half of it. :sweat2:

- Brian, that was a funny piece and I hope you wrote it with your nose.

Nope... I figured that wouldn't be realistic, since most people don't fall asleep with their nose pointing straight down at the keyboard. Seems like a painful way to snooze, if you ask me. So I instead chose to write it with the right side of my face. (And my fingers, at the end.)

Also, did you know that the forum puts a 50-character cap on words? I didn't until I wrote that piece. Once you hit 50, it automatically puts a space in there. Slightly annoying, yet logical.

Anyway. I'll reply to everybody else's work once I finish my term paper. Procrastination on homework causes procrastination on the forum... awesome.

24th November 2008, 06:35 PM
I read them and some of them are very... interesting. with very vivid description. =)

I liked the way that everyone had something different. Shonta, I loved your alarm clock story that was brill. And I LOL'd so hard at yours Brian. Cadmus, yours was chilling =)

I wish I hadn't failed. It's all your fault Gavin! Ahaaa

Gavin Luper
25th November 2008, 04:10 AM
Ehehe... I clicked the wrong button when trying to quote Gavin's post and almost ended up deleting half of it. :sweat2:

That's okay Brian. No hard feelings. None at all. Not like I already had to retype the whole thing or anything. I'm just going to go and delete quote WotF. Sure you won't mind.

Now Tara ........... why am I copping the blame for EVERYTHING lately? Ay? Ay?

Question for participants: we waited 3 months between sprints. Should we run them more frequently? How often do you think you would be able to participate?

26th November 2008, 12:19 AM
Brian: awesome. Although I could never fall asleep on a keyboard, even with the side of my face... it would still be fairly painful, no? Hang on... uihinjnh;uoireahg;

Yeah. The keys dig into my face. Anyway.

Gavin: After Brian's, that is such a cop-out :P

Shonta: I love the fates of all the alarm clocks. It's just such a light, comic piece. I haven't read the other one yet.

firepokemon: The circular structure worked really well. Sorta like how when you wake up and you're groggy, your thoughts keep going round and round, preoccupied on one thing. And the last line is pure gold. The Abra piece... meh :)

Shonta again: that poem actually made my eyelids droop. I think it's the incessant rhythm.

Gabi: Good luck with that. I'd give you some tips, but I'm a bit of an insomniac myself. I've started listening to music in bed... classical or metal, strangely enough. Because it's so intense that it blocks out everything else.

Kalah: You've described the person's self-hate so well. I felt like I was in her head when she was bargaining with God, taking the pills to punish herself, to numb herself... and the hot chocolate thing. Funny how you start lying to yourself to make yourself feel better, but the lie sticks for years and defines who you are... The line "I was an optimist trying to be a hopeful pessimist" confused me though, and I was confused when the tense changed from past to present at the point "Later that night". A very evocative piece overall. :)

Cadmus: the repetition worked really well in this one too. It gives you the feeling that it's a story you've heard too many times, to tragically, and it makes you feel like the story's rolling towards its inevitable conclusion. The line "That's what he whispered under his breath" seems a bit long when you read it out though, compared to all the other lines. "Whispered" implies "under his breath" anyway, so the latter could be cut out. But overall it's a beautiful poem.

Tara: yeah you do. ;)

Kalah: thanks for the comment! The idea started with the epiphany, then the extended sheep metaphor just sorta... extended itself. Was fun to write. :)

Gavin: For writing sprints alone, I could probably even do one a month, but I'd like to participate in the writing contests as well, so I like the current frequency. :) But we could just have more anyway, and whoever's free at that time can join in.

26th November 2008, 06:35 PM
I reckon, December January is stupid time to hold a sprint. Holidays etc. Well for us australians anyway. February, and then every second month?

26th November 2008, 06:37 PM
Every other month sounds good to me too. Alternating between sprints and writing contests.

29th November 2008, 03:51 PM
OOoo! I missed if off about a week! And sleep! What a could topic, I could've wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote about sleep until I fell asleep.


Lady Vulpix
29th November 2008, 05:12 PM
Funny. But I think you meant 'written'.

29th November 2008, 08:24 PM
Grammar's in the eye of the beholder- *licks Lady Vulpix's eye* ^,^ Mmm.

Gavin Luper
8th December 2008, 07:11 AM
Once every other month sounds good to me too, alternating with the contests or something like that.

Cheers for competing guys - see you next time!


8th December 2008, 07:58 AM
Or not competing :)