Mysteries That Await

[DannyBoy]

Well, its been about a month and I must say I really missed this place. But During my break creative ideas started to flow and I wrote a fic and started this one. I was going to be on break till at least christmas but I was telling Dratinihaunter how I just couldn't wait to get this out here. For me this is new and different. Yes, it does involve pokemon but it is not a trainer fic. So with out anymore chat here it is...



Mysteries That Await

By: Dan M



Just A Taste of Venom




"Dustox, use silver wind now!" a young man dressed in a black shirt, blue jeans, light brown hair, and black eyes exclaimed.

"Beautifly dodge it and you gust!" a much younger man in a green shirt, black jeans, red hair, and green eyes exclaimed.

The moth pokemon heard its command and started to rapidly flap its wings causing silver powder to come out. The powder then floated over to the very bright and colorful butterfly pokemon. Beautifly flew up missing the attack and it then gave a few hard flaps releasing a large gust of wind causing the silver powder to float over onto Dustox. Dustox started to flap its wings slower and slower as the silver wind and gust drained its power.

“DUSTOX!” the green, purple, and red moth pokemon cried as it fell to the clay covered ground.

The young man reached behind his back and grabbed a small red and white pokeball from his side. He gently pressed the white circle in the middle of the ball causing it to double its size. He then tossed the ball into the air causing the red and white pokeball to tap the fainted Dustox and open up. A bright white light shot out of the ball and covered Dustox causing it to shrink and go back into its pokeball. The red and white ball closed back up and floated back to the young mans hand.

“That was a great gym match. Haven’t had anyone beat me in a long time Brian,” the gym leader said to the trainer.

“Thanks Dan, you were tough!” he replied as he tossed a pink pokeball into the air.

The pink pokeball tapped the flying Beautifly causing a bright light to shoot out. The light touched the butterfly causing it to be covered in it. It was then sucked back into its pokeball causing it close and go back to Brian’s hand. Brian then attached the pokeball back to his side and walked over to the gym leader.

“That was a great battle and you definitely earn the Test Badge,” Dan said as he took out a white badge with a crystal in the middle.

“Thank you,” he replied as he took the small badge out of Dan’s hand.

“You definitely earned this and hear is this gift,” he exclaimed as he took out a small red box.

Brian took the small box from his hand and opened it up. In the box was a small rainbow colored pill. He looked at it strangely and looked back up at Dan.

“What kind of TM is this?” he asked.

“This is TM 4, it contains the attack Return,” he replied with a grin.

“Wow, I always wanted this attack for my pokemon thanks!” he shouted happily. “Thanks and see ya.”

“Bye and good luck on winning,” Dan shouted as he waved good bye.

Brian ran out of the gym with a giant grin. Dan watched him leave and then he turned around and walked to the back door of the large white gym. He pushed his hand out as it grabbed the silver handle of the door. He then pushed forward which led him into a small office. In it was a black desk, a large see through bin of badges, black leather rolling chair, a small blue telephone, and a large Dell computer.

“What a long day,” he said to himself as he walked over to the leather chair.

He sat down and rolled up to the desk. He then leaned over and pressed the on button to his computer. The screen then light up with a large message that read, ‘You Got Mail’. He clicked the yellow link which brought up a large screen with a blue screen that read, ‘Click here to read message’.

“I wonder who this one is from. Better not be Aunt Ester again,” he sighed as he clicked it.

The screen the brought up the e-mail which read,

Dear Dan,

Here at the Gym Leader Committee have been noticing some strange things lately. A group of people called ‘Venom’ have been lurking around and people have been noticing that their pokemon have gone missing. We were wondering if you could keep a look out in your local area and see if anything strange is going on. Thank you and be careful.

Sincerely,
Bruno

P.S
How have things at the gym been going?


“I wonder what’s going on,” he thought to himself.

He then looked down to notice the date was from a week ago and it was just sent. Then as he continued down it read ‘Sent because ones internet is no longer working’. He looked puzzled as he read it. He then leaned back over and turned off his computer causing the screen to shut off. He pushed back his chair as he got up and walked over to his phone.

“I need to find out what’s going on,” he said to himself.

He lifted up the blue telephone and punched in 5556987 into the phone. The phone began to ring as he placed it by his ear. The phone rang two more times and then a loud scratching noise appeared.

“I am sorry this number is no longer in service,” a women’s voice replied.

“That’s strange, they wouldn’t get a new number and not tell me about it,” he said out loud.

He then walked a crossed the light blue rub to the exit of the room. He left the room back onto the clay ground. He walked across the gym and out the sliding glass doors. He walked out to a sunny town with a group of Swellow flying by.

He turned right on the black paved road and walked next store to the large white and red pokemon center. As he neared the sliding glass doors they automatically started to open as he got closer. He then walked inside to see a few trainers walking around or playing with their pokemon.

He then looked forward to see the happy red headed nurse standing behind the white counter with the large pink and black pokemon Gossey. Gossey was the evolved form of Blissy. It was a foot taller with a pink body with a large black spot in the middle.

“Hello Dan, how may I help you today?” the lovely nurse with the white apron and soft black hair asked.

“Hi Kayla, how are you today?” he asked politely.

“I am fine, how about yourself?” she replied as he walked up to her and put his arms on the smooth white counter.

“I am ok, but there is something wrong with the Gym Leader Committee,” he replied. “Do you know anything about what’s wrong with them?”

“No, sorry, what’s wrong though?” she asked.

“Well, today I received an e-mail from them saying that peoples pokemon everywhere have been missing and that some ground called ‘Venom’ might be the cause of this all. But then I noticed it was written last week but it was sent out today because the internet provider for it no longer existed. It was strange,” he replied as he sighed.

“Wow, sounds serious. I hope everything is ok,” Kayla replied with a sad face. “Did you call them?”

“Yea,” he exclaimed.

“What did they say?” she asked as she pulled back her hair.

“Nothing, there service was unavailable, I think something might be up,” he sighed. “That’s why I have decided to go there and try and find out what is going on and I was wondering you could make a call to the supervisor to make fliers saying the gym will be closed for a while?”

“Sure,” she replied as she went into a small blue desk door and took out a large yellow phone book.

Over hearing the conversation a young girl around 15 heard about the gym closing. She then ran over and grabbed Dan’s arm. Dan looked over at the young girl who was wearing a white beater, a pair of blue low rise jeans and a black hat.

“Can I help you?” he asked as he back up.

“You said you’re going to close the gym!?” she shouted.

“Yes, for a while, why?” he asked scratching his head.

“I really need my fifth badge so I can go on. I only have three more months till the competition! Please can I battle you right now!?” she asked as she got on her knees and begged. “PLEASE!”

“Fine, we will have a one on one match right now. Follow me,” he said as he helped her back up.

She dusted her pants off as she followed him out the sliding glass doors. They both then turned right down the now darkening road to the big crystal like gym. The doors slid open as the two walked inside. Dan clapped his hands as the lights suddenly came on one by one.

“Whoa, you have a clapper,” she said as she watched the lights turn on.

“Yes, now stay there and choose your pokemon,” he replied as he went to his side of the gym.

Dan moved his left hand to his side and grabbed a black pokeball. His pushed the middle part with his thumb causing the black ball to expand. He held the ball as he waited for the girl to make her move.

“Hold on just a second!” she shouted as she looked at her side deciding what ball to choose. “Ok, I am ready!”

She grabbed a red and white pokemon with a rain drop on the top. She pushed the middle button causing the normal pokeball to expand out.

“Ok, this will be a one on one match with no time limit. Begin!” Dan shouted as he threw the black pokeball up into the air.

The black ball flew into the air causing it to burst open releasing a bright white light that smacked into the clay ground. Out of the bright light came stomping a large pokemon. Soon the light faded and went back into the black ball causing it to close and fly back to Dan’s hand.

“NIDO!” the large purple pokemon shouted as it pounded its fists on its chest.

“Nidoking is my pokemon, send yours out,” he replied. “By the way, what’s your name?”

“Its Clarissa,” she replied as she tossed the regular pokeball into the air.

The red and white pokeball with the blue raindrop on top opened up in the air as a light was released. The light fell onto the ground releasing a medium sized pokemon. The light flew back into the ball causing it to close and fly back to Clarissa’s hand.

“Marsh, Marshstomp stomp!” the blue aquatic ground type cried.

“Marshstomp is my pick!” she shouted happily as she placed the pokeball back on her side.

“Ok, Nidoking use tackle attack!” Dan commanded as he pointed at the water/ground type.

"NIDOKING!” it shouted as it pounded its fists together and then ran toward Marshstomp.

“Marshstomp use water gun!” Clarissa cried as she pointed at the fast moving purple dinosaur.

“Marsh, Marshstomp!” it said playfully as it opened its mouth.

Marshstomp watched Nidoking carefully as it ran towards it as a fast pace. Marshstomp then sucked its gut in and then out as released a cold jet of blue water. The water crashed into Nidoking causing it to fall back and hit the ground hard.

“KING!” it shouted as it got right back up and wiped its face of the water.

“Stomp!” the water pokemon said as it look puzzled.

Nidoking then ran forward faster than before and smashed into the water type pokemon causing it to fly and smash into the white marble wall. It fell down and fainted.

“NIDO, NIDOKING!” it shouted as it walked back over to Dan.

“MARSHTOMP!” Clarissa shouted as she ran over to her fainted pokemon.

“When I come back we can battle again. During the time you could train some more and we can have the re-match,” he replied as he tossed the black ball out at Nidoking.

The ball tapped Nidoking causing it to bust open releasing a bright white light that covered its body. It then got sucked back into the pokeball causing it to fly back to Dan’s hand. Dan then placed back on his side. Clarissa picked up her hurt pokemon and left the gym running. Dan watched as he seen a tear fly back off her face. He looked down and walked back into the small office.



There is the first chapter to my new fic. I hope you all enjoyed this. Thanks for reading and keep look out for chapter 2.
See ya Later and it feels good to be back!

:wave: :D :yes:

Edit: THanks Pika!

[mr_pikachu]

This is certainly a different premise than your other fics have started from. Dan may be a powerful trainer, but he will undoubtedly be facing some tough challenges in the near future. But who - or what - could possibly disable the entire Elite Four? Hmm... this is getting interesting. I've only ever seen one Pokemon/mystery fic, and it disappeared months ago. I certainly hope this one fares better.

I did notice a few typos here and there, but they didn't cause too much of a problem. Oh, and about your title; I believe you mean "Mysteries that Await". They shouldn't be two separate words. A quick edit should clear that up, though. That is, if I'm right in thinking that's what you meant, which I'm not always...

Anyway, this is a good start, and I look forward to the next chapter! :wave:

[Iveechan]

Seems interesting. I assume the girl is a villian, but... that's just my way of thinking. Heh. The only thing that bugged me was the use of the word "caused". I'm kinda picky, but I feel that describing a Pokemon being returned to a pokeball is a bit uneccessary.

Mystery is good.... :D

[Heavenly Sage HLSOE]

I thought I'd reply to this since I've come back. The start seems to make it sound trainerish but I'm sure judging by the language used, it'll be exceptional. I like it. THe writing style seems to flow naturally from you. It seems to be like ink that flows from a pen. Very smooth.

On the negative side though, perhaps more emotions could be used especially to describe Clarissa's feelings after losing. Other than that, it's excellente.

Gracias. Nice fic.

[mistysakura]

You're back! Yay!!! I've been trying to take over your job of replying to every single fic... and it's really starting to get annoying when you forget which fic's which, especially with fics that have just started. I don't know how you do it. Anyway, welcome back. I've changed the title for you.

Great start! Yeah, I have this feeling that the girl's not an innocent one too, fo some odd reason. And I don't think that it's unneccessary to describe returning to a pokeball, but perhaps the words could be a bit more varied (you used "caused" 6 times just to return 2 pokeballs...) Otherwise, the description was pretty cool. I suppose the battl ewith the girl could have been longer, though.

The plot wasn't anything particularly new, but the way you presented it, with the gym leader's point of view, was original. I'll keep reading.

[DannyBoy]

Mr.Pikachu: Thanks! I agree wiht you on this bring different then any of my other fics. I also went over it and fixed a few things and then had the title fixed up.

Iveechan: Thanks, this is my first mystery type fic so it might take me a bit to get it really mysterious. I will try and cut down the word caused in it. Also I will stop with the describing if it, its just hwne I first started writng people were so picky and wanted lots of description so I started doing that but I can stop. You will find out about the girl around the middle of this. She may be good or she may not be. You have to wait.

Heavenly Sage HLSOE: Thanks! Yea, the beginning is a bit trainerish but it wont be like that for the most part. There will be a battle here and there but I am def. trying not to make it trainerish. Also I will work on the emotion part.

Mistysakura: Thanks lol!I don't know how I do it either. But you been doing good. Also like I said with Iveechan, you got to wait to find out about the girl. Also I will cut down with the returning of pokemon and the word caused.


Thanks everyone! This is great! I am hard at work on the second chapter plus some planning. I will try and have one out every three or four days but I am not guranteeing anything because I don't know what school will bring. But Christmas break is coming and I can get a lot done on that time. Thanks and keep a look out for the next chapter. See ya later!

:yes: :wave: :D

[Drade130]

This chapter was very good and it got my attention. I'll continue reading this for sure!

[Chris 2.1]

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours :)

Great start. Dan's choice of Pokemon makes him come across as a very egotistic character...as if he wants to appear hard and macho...i also thought this because he spoke very heavily to me...and showed somewhat contempt towards Clarissa. She seems very friendly, sort of cute and charming and very innocent. You leave us wondering what could become of these characters...it's a normal day for them, although i'm sure that there won't be a normal day for quite some time witht The Venom around...

great work

[DannyBoy]

Teddiursa89: Thanks for the reply! I am glad it caught your attention.

Brit Chris: Thanks! I am glad they leave you wondering. That makes it more interesting. You are right things will start getting different around the end of the next chapter and three will really star into it. Thanks again!

Well so far the next chapter is nearly complete but I am going to wait a bit before I post it. I want to work on the other chapters as my brain gets more and more ideas so you all dont have to wait two weeks for a new one then five days then a week... Here is a little spoiler from the next chapter...


“Ok, do what you feel is right to you,” she said as she stood up beside her.

Kayla then walked back behind the white counter and looked under to see if Marshstomp’s pokeball has come out yet from the healing room. After a few seconds of waiting the red and white pokeball came rolling down from it. Kayla picked it up and stood back up to see Clarissa waiting.

“Here you go dear,” she said as she handed the fifteen year old girl her pokemon.

“Thanks,” Clarissa replied as she took the pokeball and placed it back on her side. “Well, see ya later!”



There it is, I hope it keeps you all wondering. See ya later!

:yes: :D :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Hey everyone, here is the next instalment to the story. Brit Chris also I wanted to ask you, I like your idea of asking questions in your posts and I was wondering if I could use that idea to. I think its a great way to get to know the readers. Either ways its ok. Enough talk now here is the next part...






Mysteries That Await





What a Trip




“Beep…Beep…Beep,” the sound of an alarm clock cried.

Dan rolled over on his side as he extended his arm out and pushed the red off button. He then moved his legs off of the bed as he stood up and stretched his arms out. He walked across the cold hard wood floor to a blue colored door. He pushed it open to reveal a shower, toilet and sink. He walked over and turned the shower on. As he waited for it to warm up he got undressed and then hopped in.

“I wonder what Clarissa is doing, I feel bad about yesterday. I should have picked Numel instead,” he thought to him self.

After he finished he got out and dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He went over to the sink and grabbed his tooth brush. He brushed his teeth and then went back into his blue colored bedroom.

He walked over to his tan colored dresser and grabbed some underwear, socks, shirts, and jeans. He threw them onto the bed. He knelt down and grabbed a back pack from underneath his bed. He put it on the bed and then got dressed. After he finished dressing in a grey shirt and blue jeans, the telephone began to ring.

“Hello?” he answered as he picked up the black cordless phone.

“Hello Dan, this is Kayla, I was wondering if you could stop by before you leave?” she asked.

“Hi Kayla, sure, what for?” he asked as he packed up his things.

“I just want to talk to you before you go,” she replied. “Is there a problem with that?”

“No, its fine, I will be over in about a half hour. I have to quickly stop at the Mart to get some things before I leave. Is that alright?” Dan asked.

“Yup, see you in a half hour then. Bye,” she replied as she hung up the phone.

“Bye.” He said as he clicked the phone off and put it back on the hook.

He slipped on his book bag and walked out the other blue door in his room. He walked threw a short white hall and then left his house.







“He will be over in about thirty minutes. By then you pokemon should be healed up,” Kayla exclaimed to the depressed and sad girl.

:”Thanks, I just can’t believe he didn’t even say good try or you’re good but next time I bet you will do better. He just said to train and he will battle me when he gets back. He is such a jerk!” she shouted as she wiped her eyes of tears.

Kayla walked over to Kayla and sat next to her in the large red chair. Clarissa looked up at her as more tears came out of her eyes. All Clarissa could think about is why he was like that and if her Marshstomp would be ok.

“Trust me, he is not a jerk. He is a great guy once you get to know him,” Kayla said as she handed her a tissue from the front pocket of her apron.

“I think I’ve made up my mind,” she replied as she stood up.

“Ok, do what you feel is right to you,” she said as she stood up beside her.

Kayla then walked back behind the white counter and looked under to see if Marshstomp’s pokeball has come out yet from the healing room. After a few seconds of waiting the red and white pokeball came rolling down from it. Kayla picked it up and stood back up to see Clarissa waiting.

“Here you go dear,” she said as she handed the fifteen year old girl her pokemon.

“Thanks,” Clarissa replied as she took the pokeball and placed it back on her side. “Well, see ya later!”

“Bye and I know you will make the right choice!” Kayla exclaimed as she watched her walk out the sliding glass doors.








“May I have three pokeballs, five super potions, and five full heals please?” Dan asked politely to the friendly lady.

“Yes you may, hold on one second Dan,” she said as she walked into a back room.

She walked into a large room with items all over. She went to the left shelf and grabbed three red and white pokeballs and put them into a white bag. She then walked down a bit further and grabbed five medium sized red and orange bottles labeled ‘Super Potion’. She then knelt down and grabbed five grey bottles that looked like water guns and put them into the white bag also. She walked back out the door and placed them on the counter.

“The total comes to ten dollars and forty cents,” she replied as she typed the items into the cash register.

“Ok,” Dan said as he placed his hand in his pocket and whipped out a twenty.

He handed the clerk the twenty and he then waited. She typed in the information and soon a drawer opened up. She took out nine singles and two quarters and handed them to Dan. Dan placed them back into his pocket and waited for his receipt.

“Nine forty is your change and here is your receipt,” she said as she ripped the receipt off of the machine and placed it in the bag.

“Thank you,” Dan replied as he took the white back.

“Your welcome, have a great and safe trip!” she said ash Dan placed his book bag on the counter and placed the things inside.

He placed his bag on his back once more and left the small mart. He walked outside to see that it was starting to cloud up a bit do he hurried down the black paved road. As he ran towards the sliding glass doors to the Pokemon Center, a pair of eyes watched from behind a large green bush.

“Hey,” Dan exclaimed as he walked into the center.

“Hello,” she replied.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Dan asked as he walked up to the white counter.

“I just wanted to talk before you leave. Oh, I called and the flyers should be up within a few hours,” Kayla said with a smile.

“Oh, thanks! Anything else?” he asked as he scratched his chin.

“Do you know when you will be back?” she asked as she pulled down her soft black hair.

“I am not sure, but I will give you a call when I get to Viridian City,” he replied. “Wait a second, are you worried about me?”

“No, just making sure you will be alright,” she replied as she started to blush a little.

“Well, don’t worry, I will be back within at least two weeks, ok?” he asked.

“Yea, have fun and find out what’s going on. Also, Clarissa came back here and cried all night long you know, you could have been a little bit nicer to her,” she exclaimed as she placed her hands on her hips.

“I was not mean, I just said she needs to train and I will battle her when I get back,” he replied.

“Well still, if you see her before you go, talk to her,” she replied as she walked from behind the desk and gave Dan a hug. “I bet you were like that when you were fifteen and still a trainer. What was that two years ago?”

“Yea, I guess your right. I was disappointed when I lost. I guess I will talk to her if I see her. See ya,” he replied as he let go and walked out.

“Bye!” she said as a tear came rolling down her soft skin causing her mascara to run.

Dan left the Pokemon Center and headed forward down the paved road. He continued going forward past all the small wooden houses with the little gardens in front. He passed one house were there was Squirtle’s watering the garden for their master.

Dan continued along now as he entered the ‘Southgale Forest’. It wasn’t as big as most forests and consisted of many pine trees, green bushes with tiny thorns, and bug type pokemon.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Meanwhile at the Pokemon Center, Kayla walked back behind the counter and put her head down on the table. Tears started to flow out of her eyes. She couldn’t help it; the person who she had a crush on for years is now leaving. She was afraid something might happen. She picked head back up and grabbed a tissue from her apron pocket and wiped the runny mascara away. She moved over to the right a little bit and picked up the phone. She dialed 5554321 and the phone started to ring.

“Hello?” a female voice asked.

“Hey Debbie,” Kayla said.

“Oh, hey Kayla, what can I do for you?” she asked nicely.

“Listen can you come over and run the Pokemon Center for a while?” she asked nervously.

“Sure, when would you like me to come over?” she wondered.

“How about tomorrow morning at eight am?” she asked.

“Ok, see you then. Bye,” she said as she clicked the phone off.

“Bye,” she replied as she hung up the phone.

Kayla then went into the back room which led to her house. She continued down the recovery room and into a bedroom. She went to her closet and grabbed a duffel bag and some cloths and got ready to leave. She placed then beside her bed and then she went back to the counter to serve trainers.







Meanwhile, Dan continued down the dirt path that went threw the forest. As he continued along he felt as someone was following him. He turned around and seen nothing. He continued threw until he stopped suddenly. He was on top of a large mountain and almost fell down into a large river. He quickly moved a little to the right and continued along the rocky dirty edge. He then stopped when he heard a loud scream from behind him. He turned around to see a pair of hands holding on to the rocks.

“HELP ME!” a female voice screamed.

“Hold on!” Dan shouted as he went over to see Clarissa dangling from the side of the cliff. “Clarissa?”

“HELP ME DAN! PLEASE!” she screamed as she looked down and back up.

Tears rolled down her eyes as she watched Dan grabbed her hands. He then pulled her back up from the side and helped her back onto her feet. Clarissa dusted herself off as Dan stood there with a confused look on his face.

“Why are you following me?” he asked.

“I wanted to follow you, so you could help me be a better trainer like yourself,” she exclaimed as she continued getting the dirt off her low rise jeans.

“Why didn’t you say something and not fall off a cliff. What if I just ignored you and you fell to your doom?” he asked her.

“I don’t know, that’s a tough question,” she replied as she coughed.

“Don’t do it again and I guess you could come with me as long as you don’t annoy me to death, ok?” he asked while crossing his arms.

“Fine, lets continue on before it gets dark,” she said as she started to walk forward.

“Ok,” he replied as he followed her.

They continued on threw the green forest until the sun started to sink low into the sky. Soon they stopped by a few large rocks a large grassy area. They both sat down and leaned against a rock.

“Is it fun being a gym leader?” Clarissa asked.

“It can be but sometimes it can suck,” he replied back.

They soon talked for hours and soon they both fell asleep on the rocks. Stars glistened as they both began to dream. But at the same time a man stood in a nearby bush and watched them sleep. He examined them both and then took out his cell phone. He dialed a number and the phone rang three times and someone then picked up.

“Sir, I found him,” he said into the phone.

“Very good, wait till morning to take any actions towards him. He will need his rest for what’s about to come his way,” he replied.

“Ok sir,” he said as he hung up the phone and placed it back into his green pants pocket.

He continued to watch the two sleep. He stood there waiting for morning when he will go to them.

[mr_pikachu]

I have to go in a minute, so I'll only point out three things.


1. You are repeatedly switching from present to past tense and back again in the wrong places. Remember: regular text should be past tense, while quotes will vary but are typically present tense. (They are only past or future tense if the people are talking about past or future events.)

2. The language in the quotes seems a bit forced. Try to make your characters' speech more realistic. Shortcuts (contractions and such) are good, as are slang, as long as they aren't overly used. (We don't want the next Eminem, just some realistic speech!)

3. The lady gave Dan the wrong change. XD


See you next chapter! :wave:

[mistysakura]

Yep, the change is meant to be $9.60.
That was pretty good. I thoink that having Clarissa follow him, as a rookie, is a pretty good idea since that means he's not always only interacting with his equals. It gives more dimension to the story. (You could argue that Clairssa is an equal, but right now she doesn't really seem like one.)
I wonder what the guy spying on Dan's up to.

[DannyBoy]

Mr Pikachu: Thanks for pointing that out. I will be more careful with the tenses. LOL I suck at math. Thanks for saying that.

Mistysakura: Thanks for pointing that out to about the money. I decided to have her follow him and be with him because it would be to werid with just him going around being macho and strong but now he has someone to worry about and make sure stays out of harms way. Also in the next chapter a lot will be told about the man and there will be more questions.

Also I talked to Brit Chris and how I liked his ideas with asking questions and I really think its a fun and cool way to get to know the readers and get to know more about them.

What is everyone doing for there Collage break or winter recess from elemtary/middle/high school?


Thanks for the replies, it means a lot! I am now taking my time with the revising of Chapter three and I am starting on Chapter 4 right now. Thanks and see ya later!

:yes: :wave: :D

[Chris 2.1]

Well this winter I'm staying in england, where its F R E E Z I N G, yet christmassy! I'm maybe going down south, but I'm not sure....

[DannyBoy]

Brit Chris: Its good to have it cold and then after Christmas it can get warm.

Ok sorry for not posting another chapter laltely. I been busy and I haven't had time to go over it yet so here is a sneak prview of it,




The poison gas attack still hit them and they were both badly poisoned. Joe then got back up and looked at Clarissa and Marshstomp and gave them a strange look. He then grabbed Gulpin’ pokeball and returned it back.

“This isn’t over yet Dan!” he shouted as he ran off.

“That was weird,” Dan said as he went over to his sick pokemon.

“Let’s just go to the pokemon center and heal them,” she said in a quiet voice as she recalled Marshstomp.



There it is, hope it makes you al wonder. I will try and have it out by Tuesday. Thanks and see ya later,


:yes: :D :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Here is the next chapter and I hope you all like it! So far this is my longest chapter and it explains some answers from chapter two and also makes you wonder and think. I usually never ask but for some people I want to know how you feel about this so far to, it would mean a lot. Also I decided that chapter 4 will be out next tuesday but then I have break so expect one every 3 to 4 days because I will have tons of time to sit and write. Then started on January 7th there will be one every tuesday hopefully till it finishes. Ok so here it is and alos chapter 4 I am trying a new writing style and I hope you all will like it. A preview will be out on saturday. Ok now here it is,


Mysteries That Await





Friends and Foes





“Good morning Kayla,” Debbie said as she greeted Kayla at the entrance of the Pokemon Center. “It is such a wonderful day!”

“Yea, ok everything that needs to be done is written on the counter top. All the medicine for the sick pokemon is under the counter in the purple box. If you need anything just call my phone,” Kayla said as she had to stop and take a break. “Also if you hear anything from Dan, just tell him to call my cell but don’t tell him what I am doing. Ok?”

“Yes, everything will be fine, you know me girl. Wait…you’re following Dan?” she curiously asked.

“Yes, just to make sure he will be alright,” she replied.

“Girl just ask him out when you see him again! You have had a crush on him for…for...forever!” she laughed.

“Ha, ha, very funny, but there is something about him,” she laughed back.

“What ever, ok have fun and don’t get lost!” she said as she hugged Kayla.

“I’m going to miss you!” Kayla replied as she hugged her back.

The two broke a part and both sighed. They then said goof bye and Kayla went north and Debbie went inside the Pokemon Center. Debbie went over to the counter and seen the instructions of what to do and all over the sides was the name ‘Dan’ written all over. She laughed and went and checked on the pokemon in the recovery room. Kayla on the other hand continued walking threw the town and soon into the forest.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~



“Sir I am so sorry, I must have fell asleep,” he cried out.

“Shut up and just find him! Don’t you cry you pathetic fool! Now go!” he shouted as he hung up.

The shaken man put his phone back in his pocket and started to snoop around. He then walked from behind the bush and tripped over a wild Wurmple. He quickly got back up and looked at the Wurmple.

“Wurmp?” the puzzled caterpillar cried.

“GO AWAY!” the man shouted.

“Wurmple!” the tiny pokemon shouted as it spit out a long wave stream of white string. The string wrapped around his face making him fall back down. The Wurmple stopped and started to chuckle its name as it slithered away. The man angrily tore it away but the Wurmple was now gone. He then walked off in search of Dan.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~



“Hey look we are close!” Clarissa exclaimed as they passed a sign saying ‘Ten Minutes Till Otawa Town’.

“Yea, when we get there we go to the Pokemon Center and check up on things and then I can call Kayla,” he replied.

“Is she like…your girlfriend?” she curiously asked him.

“No, why you ask that?” he confusingly asked.

“Well you both seem to really like each other,” she replied.

“Oh, well no were not,” he replied as he then made a frown.

They both continued on the now cemented walkway. In front of them was a large sign saying ‘Welcome to Otawa’. They continued walking until a large net was dropped from a towering tree on top of them.

“Hey, what is going here?” Dan shouted as he felt the heavy net on his back.

“What is going on?” Clarissa asked as she tried to move around.

Then a tall man in an all green out fit with a green hat started walking their way. He then reached down into his pocket and took a purple and green pokeball and tossed it into the air. The ball expanded and opened up releasing a large purple pokemon. The ball went back to his hand and he put it back away.

“GULPIN!” the pokemon shouted.

“Hello Dan and acutance,” he said.

“Who are you?” Clarissa asked.

“I am Joe from Venom and I am hear to talk to Dan,” he replied with an evil grin.

“What do you want?” Dan asked in a disgusted tone.

“I want you! You know things Venom wants to know!” he chuckled.

Dan quickly grabbed a pokeball from his side and pressed the middle button. Soon a flash of light flew into the air as a large pokemon started to form. The light faded revealing a tall slender brown pokemon with no arms and two powerful looking legs. With it standing up the net lifted a foot off the ground letting Clarissa and Dan get out of it.

“Not so fast!” Joe shouted. “Gulpin use body slam on them!”

“Hitmonlee use double kick!” Dan shouted.

“HITMON…LEE!” the kicking pokemon shouted.

Gulpin slid towards the fast kicking pokemon with great speed. As it neared Hitmonlee moved its leg back and released it at Gulpin. Gulpin got kicked in the stomach twice by the powerful leg. Gulpin slid back in pain.

“Great job Hitmonlee,” Dan shouted.

“Gulpin, get back up and use poison gas attack now!” Joe demanded.

“GULP!” it shouted as it opened its mouth and released a purple smoke.

“Hitmonlee watch out!” Dan shouted.

All of a sudden a bright flash occurred and a water gun attack was sent at the large purple blob. Gulpin once again and slid back into its master. Joe was knocked down by the heavy sludge.

“Marsh!” the ground/water type shouted.

“LEE!” the fighting pokemon cried out.

The poison gas attack still hit them and they were both badly poisoned. Joe then got back up and looked at Clarissa and Marshstomp and gave them a strange look. He then grabbed Gulpin’ pokeball and returned it back.

“This isn’t over yet Dan!” he shouted as he ran off.

“That was weird,” Dan said as he went over to his sick pokemon.

“Let’s just go to the pokemon center and heal them,” she said in a quiet voice as she recalled Marshstomp.

Dan recalled Hitmonlee and they went off into the town. The town was full of one story houses and white gates. It seemed very quiet and small. In the very front in the middle of everything was the Pokemon Center and Mart.

Dan and Clarissa headed towards the Center on the cemented ground. The sliding glass doors opened up and they walked into a very small Pokemon Center. There were a few chairs on each side and in the middle was the healing machine and the nurse.

“How may I help you?” the brown haired nurse asked with a kind smile.

“Hi, we each were just in a battle and are pokemon were very badly poisoned, can you heal them?” Dan asked as he took out Hitmonlee’s pokeball.

“Sure thing, can you please give me the pokemon?” she asked as she took out a small white container.

Dan placed his pokeball into the container followed by Clarissa’s. The nurse then smiled and walked over to the large grey machine. She slipped the two pokeballs into the machine and a bright light flashed.

“They are now healing is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked.

“Yes, can you tell me where there is a phone?” Clarissa asked.

“Sure can,” the nurse said as she placed her hands under the desk and then brought up a cordless phone. “Here ya go.”

Dan grabbed the blue phone and then walked over to the right side. He sat down in a chair and dialed 911. The phone began to ring and then a male voice soon answered.

“Hello, this is Otawa police, how may I help you?” the man asked.

“Yes, we would like to report a crime,” Dan replied.

“Ok, were are you right now?” he asked.

“We are at the Pokemon Center,” Dan replied in a professional tone.

“Ok, we will have someone over right away to write it up for you,” he replied as he jotted a note down.

“Thank you, bye,” Dan said as he hung up the phone.

“Your welcome, bye,” the man exclaimed as he hung up.

The man then dialed into an office and told a cop what to do. The cop then grabbed some things and went off to the Pokemon Center.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~


“Boss, I failed,” Joe sadly said to his boss.

“WHAT!” he shouted. “HOW COULD YOU?”

“Sir, it’s just I seen someone I think I know, I am not sure though. It was strange, it was a girl around fourteen or fifteen,” he replied with a sigh.

“Well, I will send someone new to go, come back now for further instructions.

They both hung up and both went on to their business. Joe returned back to the hide out and the boss called out for a new member to go track them down.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~



“Ok, can you please tell me what he looked like?” the cop asked Dan and Clarissa.

“He was in a green shirt and green pants. He also had a green baseball hat,” Clarissa exclaimed as they cop wrote everything down.

“Was he a trainer?” the black suited cop asked.

“He was a member of Venom and he had one pokemon that we seen,” Dan replied.

“What kind?” he asked.

“A Gulpin,” Clarissa replied.

“And last, what was his name?” he asked as he finished writing down the pokemons name.

“It was Joe,” Clarissa replied quickly.

“Ok thank you very much, we will keep a look out for him, good day,” the cop said as he finished writing everything up.

Then man packed everything back up in a small black suit case and then exited the Pokemon Center. Dan walked over and gave the nurse back the phone. He walked back over and sat back down and then began to think.

“This is strange, why did he just go like that? He seen Clarissa and he seemed a bit frightened. Maybe he was scared of her Marshstomp. But still what if she knows about him. Maybe this is a set up or maybe this is all in my head.

Clarissa seems like a great girl…but there is just something about her. She’s nice, funny, and a little ditzy. I can’t see her being someone bad. Why would she want to do something to stop the pokemon league? She wants to be a pokemon master I think…or maybe something else. If I ask her something she might get offended and hate me again.

I feel bad leaving Kayla; she seemed very worried when I left. I wonder how she is holding up. I want to ask her out but I am afraid, what if we brake up. Everything we had would be ruined and then she would be gone. I need to stop worrying so much,” he thought as he stared off at the other side.

“Dan, Clarissa, you pokemon are healed,” the nurse said as she held out two pokeballs.

Dan and Clarissa got up and walked over to the desk. Dan grabbed the red and white pokeball while Clarissa grabbed her red and white pokeball with the blue rain drop on top.

“So what happened?” the nurse asked.

“Some guy in a green suite wants to get me because I know something that he wants,” Dan replied with a long sad sigh.

“Oh, is there anything I can do?” she asked.

“Do you know were we can find a place to stay for the day and night, I don’t want to go back out walking till tomorrow,” he replied.

“Well, if you go to the right of here, there is a small house. Walk inside and it there should be a desk with a women named Ashley there. Tell her ‘Casa Blanca’ and she will let you stay there in the basement area,” she replied with a smile.

“Oh wow, really?” Clarissa asked stupidly.

“Yes, you can go anytime you like,” the nurse replied.

“Ok, thanks!” Dan replied as placed his pokeball on his side.

“Your welcome and stay safe. Bye!” the nurse exclaimed.

“Bye,” the two both said at the same time as they headed out the door.


They both left the Pokemon Center and came out to a cloudy day. The sky darkening fast as clouds grew full of water. The sun was fully gone and it started to get chilly. Dan and Clarissa quickly walked over to the small wooden house next to the center.

They knocked on the wooden door and slowly Dan twisted the metal handle. They opened the door to reveal an almost empty room. They could see a square outline on the floor in the back behind a small desk with a young woman with blonde hair and a bright white outfit on.

“Hello, how may I assist you?” the young woman asked.

“Hi, um…Casa Blanca,” Clarissa slowly said.

“Oh, hi, come this way,” she said as she stood up and walked over to the large square outline.

She stomped her foot softly on the square outline and then moved back. Then the floor started to move as a pair of arms pushed up on it. The women walked over and help slide it off. Dan and Clarissa walked forward to find a man standing on top of a short ladder.

“This is the way down to the rooms, please follow the man down,” she exclaimed as Dan and Clarissa followed her orders.

The two then jumped down onto the wooden ladder which then brought them to a large underground walk way. The man then turned on a large flashlight to help them find their way threw. The walked down the long underground hallway for a few minutes until they reached a large door.

The man opened the large black door and the walked in and flipped a switch. It revealed a long lighted hallway with five doors on each side. He walked then down to the third door and opened it up for them with a silver key from his pocket. He walked in and turned on the light and Clarissa and Dan’s eyes enlarged. It was an amazing sight. The floor was covered in purple velvet and the walls were covered with shiny white paint. In the front were two large sofas covered with giant fluffy white pillows, in front of that stood a large television and surround sound speakers, and in the back laid two queen sized beds with velvet blankets and large black pillows. They were in heaven and they loved every moment of it.

“This is amazing!” Clarissa shouted as she ran and jumped on to the velvet bed.

“I know... I can’t…can’t believe this!” Dan stuttered.

“This is for gym leaders like you who need to get away from society, trainers, and battles. If you need anything just call,” the man said as he left the room.

Dan and Clarissa went over to the beds and hopped in. They soon fell asleep tired and worn from the events earlier. Little do they know it’s just the beginning of it all.






Thanks for reading! Also for a question, What is your favorite movie?

See Ya Later


:yes: :D :wave:

[mr_pikachu]

Not bad. The main comment I have concerns the homonyms. You seem to be using one homonym for multiple meanings. I'll list a few of them.


were - The past tense form of "are". We were walking down the road before the man attacked us.

we're - A contraction meaning "we are". We're a very happy group.

your - The possessive form of "you". Your dog is very excited.

you're - A contraction meaning "you are". You're a quick learner, aren't you?

there - A pronoun for a place. The criminals are over there!

their - The possessive form of "they". Their alarm is going off.

they're - A contraction meaning "they are". They're a pretty crazy couple.


That should be enough. Other than the homonyms, this was a good chapter. Keep it up! :wave:

[mistysakura]

Homonym fun, lol.
I think that this chapter was pretty good. It was funny how the Venom guy got String Shot right in his face, and how Kayla's totally fallen for Dan. Good job. Why do I have this feeling that the whole "CasaBlanca" thing is a trap? But I think I could be totally off the mark. Anyway, holidays rule.

[Mancetric_Trainer]

I just read all the chapters and im pretty interested so far. I like how you put alot of mystery in it. Keeps me guessing. Things seem to be moving fast and it's kinda wierd how he just let her travel with her like that. Like without him even knowing him...and she was stalking him. But maybe he's just a nice guy. I wonder what's gonna happen with him and Kayla and I think Dan and clasrissa might be in a trap right now. I also wonder what team venom is about and what is there motive and what does Dan know. Well hope you drop a new chappy soon.

[DannyBoy]

Mr.Pikachu: Thanks for the comment and help. Its a little confusing but I will try and make it better.

Mistysakura: Thanks for the reply! There will bore with the Kayla and Dan thing. Kayla will be in some chapters every now and then. You will find out soon about the room to.

Mancetric_Trainer: Thanks! Well they met in the first one and battled and he felt bad for not being nicer to her and thats why he decided quickly on letting her come but look at Ash Misty and Brock with you watch the show. They didn't know eachother that well and they tagged along with Ash. You and Mistysakura both think that its a trap...hm....you have to wait. And I hopefully will have the chapter done soon because my mom erased some things on my computer when she was cleaning the key borad. She pressed escape and messed it up.


Updates on plan and chapter:

I am getting close to finishing the plan and so far this will be no more than 20 chapters.

The next chapter is doing good and so far it seems to be going good with me writing in a new way. I hope all of you will like it to.


See ya all later and thanks for the replys again!


:yes: :D :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Hey everyone, this is my first attempt at writing in first person. I decided to do this for some but not all of the chapters. I want to show what Dan’s sees going on and how he feels about Clarissa and Kayla. If you like how this is I will start and write all chapters like this is you enjoy this way better.




Mysteries That Await






T O X I C






“Hurry up!” I shouted.

Clarissa stood in the bathroom brushing her teeth and getting ready. As I waited I packed up my things and made the bed. I then slipped my pack over my shoulders and sat on the bed to wait.

“I will be ready in just a second,” she shouted out to me.

“Ok, I am on the bed waiting,” I replied as I waited.

She soon came out in a blue tank top, white low rise jeans, and a pig tails. She walked over to her bed and placed her things into her pink bag and put it on her back. I then got up and walked over to the door and opened it. Out side of it was the man from last night.

“Good morning sir, who how your night?” he asked me.

“It was good thank,” I replied with a smile.

Then walked done the lighted hallway back to the door. He opened it up and we then entered the long dark cave. For some reason today, it smelt like rotten cabbage and fresh raspberries. He soon reached the end and he climbed p a small latter and opened up the ceiling.

“Have a good day and stay safe,” he said to us as we walked up the ladder.

“Thanks, we sure will,” I replied as I took my final step out of the hide away.

We then moved the sliding like door back over the hole. We then exited the house after saying goodbye the lady in front. As we walked outside a cool breeze flew in sky like a bird. It felt so good from being locked in the room for fifteen hours yesterday.

The sun was shining bright and the sky had just a few clouds and it was great. We then turned right and continued out of the town. Children were seen running around on the sidewalks as they enjoyed the weekend.

“It’s a wonderful day isn’t it?” Clarissa asked me.

I replied back, “It sure is, I hope it’s like this all day because we still have a long walk till we reach the first destination which is Viridian City.”

“Oh my god, are you kidding? Can I go have a gym match there?” she asked me with puppy dog eyes.

“Well…” I quickly replied. “I guess you could, I could see how you do in other gym battles.”

“Thank you so much Dan!” she shouted as she jumped up and hugged me tight.

“Ok, ok, calm down,” I laughed as gently back away.

We continued out the large steel gates and now onto a long walk through Oak Field Forest which would lead us to Viridian City. The forest was full of bright Oak trees and flowers of all different colors. As we walked I could hear different kinds of pokemon from the ground all the way into the sky.

“Clarissa, I have something to ask you and please don’t get mad, why did that guy give you a weird look yesterday? I been thinking about that all night and I just need to know, do you know him?” I asked as sweat dripped from my forehead.

“No, why do you ask that?” she replied back quietly.

“No reason, just wondering,” I replied back with a sigh of relief, but still it was strange.

We continued walking but it still bugged me. Could she be a part of Venom and just messing with me? Or is she just a nice girl? All I know is that I need to help Bruno and the rest of the elite four.

The sun continued to beat down on my like a child being beaten by their parent for doing something bad. I quickly reached behind me and felt for my white and black water bottle. I had filled it up earlier that day at the room. I removed it from the side and opened it up. I then poured the water into my desert dry mouth. It sure felt good tasting the cold fresh water.

“Um…Dan…can I have a sip?” Clarissa asked me politely.

“Sure,” I replied as I handed her the bottle.

“Thanks,” she replied as she quickly poured it down her mouth.

She then stopped and handed the bottle back to me. I then felt around for the pocket and put the water bottle back. We then continued back down the dusty dirt path to Viridian. As we walked along we passed some wild Caterpie and Wurmple sliding along. In the sky flew flocks of Taillow, Swellow, Pidgey, Pidgeot, Fearow, and Wingull. We continued walking until we both stood still in are tracks.

“Dan, did you just feel that?” Clarissa asked with a gulp.

“I think so…what was that?” I asked back.

Soon the ground started to shake rapidly. Pokemon all around started to shout their names as they all ran around like a mental patient in a padded room. The birds fluttered all around squawking loudly. The ground started shaking more and more. Dust particles flew up in the air as the ground began to crack.

“DAN!” Clarissa screamed in fear as she grabbed onto my arm.

“It’s going to be alright,” I replied back calmly.

Soon the ground ripped open and we started to fall into the ground. As we fell we could see the ground moving all around us. Soon we fell onto a hard dirt ground. We were in an underground cavern. The ground slowly started to shake less and less, then finally stopping.

“Clarissa you ok?” I shouted as I went to see if she was ok.

Clarissa slowly stood up and her body was still shaking. Her shirt was ripped in the back and she had blood on her arm and face. I helped her up to find a large cut on her arm and a cut in the middle of her forehead.

“Dan, are we ok?” she asked me in a scratchy voice.

“I don’t know, sit back down,” I told her. “I can help fix you up.”

She slowly got back on the ground and she held her arm. Blood slowly fell out of her arm as she held back tears. I could tell she was scared and didn’t know what was going on. I sat down with her and slipped off my bag. I un-zipped it and searched for the extra bandages I slipped in there before I left. I took them out and unraveled some and started to rap it around Clarissa’s bloody arm. She hissed for a second as I tightened it around the wound. I then ripped it off and tucked it in. I then lifted it up and started rapping her head and again she hissed a little at the pain.

“Are we going to die?” she asked me softly.

“No, we wont,” I replied in a confident voice. I knew I had to make her feel comfortable and not worry.

I finished rapping the bandage around her head and then tore a piece off the roll before putting it back. I then grabbed my water bottle and opened it up. I then poured some water on the bandage and then started to wipe her face and arm. The blood came off easy since it was fresh.

“I’m scared Dan, what if…what if we get stuck down here,” she cried out as she grasped onto my shirt.

“It’s going to be ok, I swear,” I told her as I stroked her hair back. “Now come on, if we sit here we will never get anywhere.”

We then stood up and dusted are selves off. Clarissa took off her bag and I slipped mine on. She went into a small compartment and took out a flashlight since we would be away from the hole. She turned it on to reveal a very small passage way that was full of mud clumps and rocks. She flashed the light to up to reveal large roots from the plants and trees above.

“We are never going to get out of here, are we?” she asked me.

I self-assuredly smiled and said, “We will.”

We continued walking and the smell started to get worse and worse. We have been walking for to long and still nothing but twists and turns that never end. Then all of a sudden her flashlight goes out.

“AW! DAN!” she screamed for me.

“I am right here!” I shouted as I quick felt for her arm.

As I felt around to find her, a bright flash of light appeared in front of us. Then I heard a loud roar.

“TORKOAL!” it shouted loudly.

“Watch out, a Torkoal!” I shouted as I finally grabbed Clarissa’s arm.

“No, its mine,” she told me. “Torkoal, use your heat wave to light the area.”

Soon as she said that a bright red glow appeared and the pokemon came into sight. Its whole back was glowing which would help us go on. We all then continued walking until the strangest smell started to fill the air. It smelt of rotten eggs and milk. As we walked soon we saw two glowing eyes staring at us.

“Dan, what is that?” she asked me.

“I am not sure, have Torkoal use ember,” I told her.

“Torkoal, use ember!” she shouted.

I soon watched Torkoal glow a bright red and then a large fireball shot out of its mouth. The fireball hit the thing causing it to fall over. Torkoal walked over and shined its back light over the thing. The light from Torkoal's back shined on it and revealed that it was a Muk.

“MUK!” it shouted loudly.

“Have it attack again!” I shouted.

“Ok, Torkoal use tackle!” she shouted.

“TORK, TORK!” it screamed as it charged at the Muk.

I watched Torkoal run at a good speed and soon smash into the giant purple blob. Muk angrily got back up and released a few large purple sludge bombs at Torkoal. Torkoal quickly dodged it and shot another ember attack at Muk. The red and orange flames smashed into the moving toxic waste causing it to fall back again.

“Great job Torkoal, now finish it with Overheat!” she shouted. She looked very confident with her choice and she knew she would win. I’ve never seen this side of her and it makes me wonder if she really I a powerful component.

“TORKOAL, TORK, TOR, TORKO!” it shouted as it began to shake and glow.

“MUK!” the toxic pokemon shouted as it looked scared.

Torkoal soon started to shake as its back grew brighter and brighter. Then a powerful blast of fire shot out of its back and towards Muk. It was amazing; all the reds, oranges, and yellows were overwhelming. The fire smacked into the large purple waste causing it to scream its name in horrid pain. The fire faded as it revealed a toasted Muk lying on the ground fainted. Then I thought, “This is a very powerful Torkoal, why didn’t she use it in are battle?”

Then I heard her shout, “Pokeball go!”

I soon looked to see a red and white pokeball tap the purple pokemon and then suck it into the ball. The ball closed and fell to the ground. The ball soon started to shake back and fourth, then after the third time shaking, it stopped. I watched Clarissa walk over and pick it up.

“That was impressive!” I announced. It was true, she was very good and I was surprised how powerful Torkoal was. Most people I know of think they are weak, but only if they could see this one.

“Thanks, it was weak,” she said looking down. She looked sad for some reason and I didn’t know why. If I was her I would be happy with a new pokemon.

“No I think that was a powerful Muk. You just had a stronger pokemon,” I told her as she put her head back up with a smile. Now she was happy and that made me feel good. “Thanks,” she replied. I could tell she liked the comment I gave her. Torkoal must have to since it was saying its name happily.

“How come you didn’t use Torkoal in are gym battle? I bet you have lots of strong pokemon!” I told her. I knew it was true and I am sure she would have won if she used Torkoal.

“Not really, I just have Torkoal, Marshstomp, Spinda, and now Muk,” she replied with a sign to me.

“I bet they are all powerful! Now lets find a way out of here!” I said walking by her side.

“Wait! I have an idea and it might work!” she shouted as we stopped quickly. “What is it?” I asked with a puzzled look. She looked like she has the greatest idea on the face of the earth.

“What if we have Torkoal use overheat on the top dirt ceiling thingy and then we scream for help? We have to be underneath the town and I bet people are outside!” she said with a big smile. She looked like she knew it would work and I had to go with it. “Sure,” I responded.

Torkoal heard the order and soon started to glow and shake. Then a large stream of fire was shot from its back at the ceiling of the tunnel. The fire penetrated the dirt causing a large hole to be formed. Torkoal son stopped the attack after we heard a loud shriek. We looked up as the smoke cleared and we seen an angry face looking down at us.

“Who the hell do you think you are blowing a hole in my kitchen!” she shouted loudly. We did the stupidest thing ever but at least we could get out.

“Sorry miss but can you please get us out of here? When the earthquake happened we fell into this underground tunnel and we can’t get out,” I told her with a sad look upon my face. I hope she would help us get out of this dreadful hole.

“Oh, ok hold on!” she shouted as she ran off. I was so happy that she decided to help us. She soon came back with a big peach and green colored pokemon. I soon recognized it to be a Bayleef. “Bayleef, use your vine whip to get them out of there,” she commanded her pokemon.

Soon two large green vines went down the open hole. We both grabbed onto them as they wrapped against are bodies. The pokemon then pulled us up with a little struggle and then placed us on the ground of the lady’s kitchen.

“Oh my god thank you!” Clarissa shouted as she hugged the lady. As she hugged her I curiously looked around at the white kitchen. I soon walked over and shake the blond haired, green eyed, cheerful women’s hand. She was wearing a large sunflower dress and white socks.

“Thanks,” I told her as she walked us down a large white hallway to the door. “You are very welcome! Sorry about yelling and no worries, I will get the floor fixed. See ya all later!” she said waving as we walked out the door.

We looked around and didn’t notice anything, we walked up to a local and asked and he said we were in Cransberry Town. I then knew we were practically right next to Viridian. The tunnel must have been a short cut to the town and it was amazing! We looked around the bright red town and quickly found the pokemon center since it was so small. We walked into the large red building to see a green haired punk nurse there. We just walked over to the far left side and went to some red benches and soon fell asleep from the long day of walking. We were to tired to talk or walk anymore.




Thanks for reading and sorry for the delay. Hope to have another one up soon. Thanks for reading and see ya all alter!


:yes: :D :wave:

[mistysakura]

Lol, that was funny with them ending up in someone's kitchen and everything! Cool chapter! Just remember that it's "wrap", not "rap" when you're talking about covering something. Also, I liked how Clarissa actually isn't that weak... and how you've done some character development with her, with her modesty and stuff. Keep it up!

[Mancetric_Trainer]

I say that was a pretty good chappy. I argee it was funny them ending up in a strangers kicthen. At first I thought a pokemon might of caused the earthquake I guess not.:yes: I liked the quick battle between Torkoal and Muk but I wanted to see Torkoal in more action. Also I wished you described heatwave, I wondered how it would look. But overall good description and the story is moving along nicely. Hmm I wonder if he has reason to be suspucious about his new partner. Opps rambaling, well can't wait 4 the next chappy! Post it soon and make it long! I wanna see her spinda in action and the Dan battle some more!

[DannyBoy]

Mistysakura: Thanks, I am glad you think its funny. The chapter will have some comedy in it which i will hope you will like. I agree with you on what I did with Clarissa. I made it so she looks weak but she has the potential to acomplish things and be strong.

Mancetric Trainer: Thanks! You will get to see Torkoal and Spinda in action in the next chapter which in my opion is a little trainerish but you won't see a lot of it. I will try and make it better. It wasn't really using the attack though just enough of it to show light with its back. But I will go more into it if I decide to use it in the next chapter. I will def try and have it be posted by tuesday but I want to make it good and not rush.

Thanks for the comments and views! Hope to have it out on tuesday. Also if you mlike check out my other fics that are below in my sig. Thanks again and see ya all later!


:yes: :D :wave:

[Venasaur89]

hi...great fic. Definitely better than other fics of your. The story line is very interesting and the little love story from Kayla.

sometimes you have used the wrong words in sentences.

Keep it up!

[mr_pikachu]

This was good, even though the homonyms were horrid at the beginning. :D lol, don't worry. It was still easily legible, and not that big of a deal. The emotions with Clarissa seemed... I dunno... slightly unfounded? Perhaps that's a sign of something... I guess I'll just have to wait to find out. Dan's concerns, on the other hand, seemed very real. The lady in the kitchen really didn't warrant description with the minute part she played; that space could have been better spent toward other characters. All in all, though, this was a nice job. I look forward to the next chapter! :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Venasaur89: THanks for the reply. Im glad you like the thing with them. You will definitaly see something going on after the next chapter, Thanks again.

Mr.PIkachi: Thanks. I was wondering if you could give me an example of were the mistakes are just like one of them maybe. I am still confused witht hat whole thing. Maybe if you tell me one part were it is it could help me more. I would really appreciate it. But thanks for the other comments. I really want to work hard on this to make it even more enjoyable without the homonym problom.

Well the next chapter is almost done and expect it tomarrow night the latest hopefully. Also the length of this wont be that long. The way I fixed it up and worked it, it should be at least 12 chapters. I want to have tons of ideas to fill chapters to make them good and thats what I come up with. THanks again for the comments and views. See ya all later!


P.S. Thanks for the nominations people!



:yes: :D :wave:

[mistysakura]

Homonym fun:
"you could give me an example of were the mistakes are" and "Maybe if you tell me one part were it is it could help me more'... both "were"s are meant to be "where". Were is a past tense form of "be", while "where" is referring to an unknown location.

[DannyBoy]

Thanks Mistysakura. That really halps now I understand where I went wrong. I then looked at my new chapter and noticed some mistakes and fixed them. The next chapter should be up tonight hopefully because I got a few things to do before I can finish writing it and checking it. Thanks again everyone and for the nominations! See ya all later!

:yes: :D :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Wow! It has been a long time. And I am in shock this got some nominations and thank you all for them! That really means alot! SO now here is part 1 of chapter 5. It will be a long one so I decided to split it up in to 2 parts. Plus it will make it seem a little longer. There will only be a few chapters till tis over and I am in the process of making a spin off but I am not sure. So lets see what happens and here is part one. This is a little trainerish but its to see how Clarissa is and how strong she really can be.





Mysteries That Await


Giovanni Has Left the Building, New Gym Leader






“Dan, wake up!” Clarissa cried out as she shaked me rapidly. I slowly opened my tired eyes to reveal a face full of tears. Clarissa had dark raven black mascara running down her soft tan face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I quickly got up. Clarissa sat down beside me and lifted her finger and shoved it in my face. “LOOK!” she shouted. I looked to see a broken nail. I got up and walked around the bright red pokemon center and then sat back down.

“This, this is what you woke me up for?” I said calmly. She looked up at me and stared me in the eyes. A tear ran down her face as she then looked back down. I started to feel bad and I then walked over to the front counter to the nurse of the center.

I walked up and rang the little silver bell. I then saw the punk nurse walk out with some band aids in her hand. She then looked me in the eyes and said, “I seen your friend crying and her nail, so I went back and got you some bandages.” I grabbed the pink band aids and replied, “Thanks.”

I walked back over and kneeled on the red floor. I took Clarissa’s hurt nail and wrapped the band aid around it. She squinted for a second and then relaxed again. “Is that better?” I asked. She quickly replied with a smile and said, “Yes, thank you Dan!”

She leaned over and hugged me tight and then stood up. She stretched out her arms and then looked down at her finger. I was hoping it didn’t start to hurt again because we were coming up to Viridian City and she wants to battle Giovanni.

“Are we almost to Viridian?” she asked me as we walked out of the red pokemon center. I replied quickly and told her we were almost there. It was a beautiful day out. The sun was shining bright and the skies were clear. We continued down the winding round and out of the town.

We soon came across a large bridge that connected that connected the two towns together. It was long wooden bridge that stood on top of a large blanket of dark blues and light blues. The sun glistened off of it and reflected light upon us as we walked across.

“So when we get there, do I get to battle the gym leader?” she asked me. “Yes, I promised you we would and I always keep my promises,” I replied back with a smile. She quickly replied, “Thanks! I can not wait to battle and to show you I am a great battler in gym matches.”

After a few minutes of walking across the bridge we soon came to the end. We then entered a small wooded area with large trees, large green bushes and pokemon all around. It was a cool sight to see, especially all the bug pokemon.

“Look, there it is!” Clarissa exclaimed as she pointed forward. I looked to see a large red and white pokemon center which looked to be in the middle of everything. Then over to the far right was a large dome. The dome was painted in the look of the earth. “You see the big earth dome over there,” I pointed. “Yea, what is it? Some kind of space center or something?” she asked me with a confusing look. “No, that is the gym. You are going to battle a man named Giovanni. I have known him for some years now, he’s not the greatest but he’s a great battler,” I replied.

We then continued down a long raven black road which led us into the city. It was bright and had lots of people. As we walked on I saw some trainers battling everywhere. I saw one fight with a Bagon and a Dustox. It looked like it has been going on for awhile since both pokemon looked tired and weak.

“So…sine you’re a gym leader…and you know other gym leaders like Giovanni…I was wondering…could you…possibly…tell me what kind of…pokemon…he has?” she stuttered to me. I thought for a second and the responded, “No, it wouldn’t be fare towards him and plus it would be wrong of me to do that. Sorry.” Clarissa’s face turned sad but then she put a smile back on and said, “I understand, but do you think I will do good?” “Not sure, this is a tough gym but if you think you can win, you will win!” I replied as her smile grew even bigger.

We then soon came up to the large red and white pokemon center. We entered through the sliding glass doors and into a large white room. On one side was large fire place surrounded by big comfy pillow like chairs and on the other side were vending machines, tables and chairs, a trading machine, and telephones. This was one of the few super centers.

“Hello, May I help you?” the young yellow haired nurse kindly asked us. “Hi, can you heal my pokemon for me?” Clarissa asked as we walked up to the desk. “Of course, it’s my job,” she smiled. Clarissa went to her side and grabbed her four red and white pokeballs. The nurse bent down and grabbed a small box and then placed it on the white counter. I watched Clarissa place each pokeball into the box and then push it gently towards the nurse. “Thanks,” Clarissa smiled. “You pokemon will be ready shortly,” The nurse said to her as she went into a back room behind two white sliding doors.

A few minutes have passed as we stood at the counter when the nurse came back out but with no pokeballs. She went up to me and asked, “Are you the Gym Leader Dan?” I shake my head and she then said, “I have a message for you.” She went under the desk and started to search since we heard papers shuffling around. She came back up with a piece of white paper with writing on it. She handed me the paper and told me it was from a message I had received from my home town. It read,

12/28/03

Dear Dan,

Today we received a call from a man named Giovanni. He told me to tell you that he to is leaving to the pokemon committee. He sent a memo out to all gym leaders so they to will go out to find out what’s up with them.

Sincerely,
Nurse



“Hm…that’s strange,” he thought to himself. He folded the paper and stuck it in his jean pocket. I then looked over at Clarissa who was waiting to battle him but he was gone. I wondered how I could possibly tell her.

“Clarissa…um…I don’t know how to tell you this but, the gym leader is not here to battle you,” I said as I watched her eyes tear up. “Excuse me Dan but actually there is a gym leader there,” the nurse told us. Clarissa wiped the tears from her eyes and said, “Really?” The nurse replied happily, “Yes, the new leader is a man named Ivan.” “Thank you!” Clarissa shouted as the nurse went back into the room to get her pokemon.

We waited as the nurse went back and got her now healed pokemon. She soon came out with a bright smile and a box with four pokeballs inside. Clarissa took the red and white pokeballs and attached them to her side. We waved goodbye as we left the pokemon center.

As we exited the pokemon center we could see the large Earth Dome Gym right in front of us. The mix of all the blues and greens were unbelievable. We walked towards it on the light blue cement walkway. The gym was surrounded by tons of lushes green trees, bushes and flowers of so many colors.

We quickly walked up and passed through the sliding blue doors. We soon entered a large green grass field and the sides of the gym were a giant tank filled with tons of fish and aquatic pokemon. I was in shock because it was just so amazing.

“Hello, may I help you?” a male voice called out to us. We looked forward and seen a young man around twenty-one with blue hair, grey sweat pants, blue tee, and all white sneakers. “Um…yes, I am here for a battle,” Clarissa stuttered. He quickly replied, “All right, let’s have a four on four match with no time limit.” “Fine with me,” Clarissa replied as she walked up into the painted white box on the grass. “I am Clarissa by the way,” she said to him. He replied, “I am Ivan lets go!”

“This will be a four on four pokemon gym battle. There is no time limit, let the battle begin!” A young referee announced.

“I choose you Nidorina!” he shouted loudly as I watched him take a pokeball from his side and throw it in the air. Out of his pokeball came walking a medium sized pokemon. It was a light bluish green with dark blue green spots. On its head was a small bluish green horn which I knew was full of poison. “Nido, Nidorina!” it shouted loudly.

Clarissa looked down and it seemed like she was thinking. She then reached down and grabbed a pokeball from her side. She threw it in the air and shouted, “Go Spinda!” Soon a wild acting Spinda popped out of the ball. It had lighting bolt patterns all over its body as it jumped up and down like a wild beast screaming its name. Soon its small mouth began to foam and I decided to back up a foot or two. “SPINDA…SPIN….SPINDA!” the crazy bear shouted as it pounded its fists on its chest.

“Wow…that is one crazed Spinda. Nidorina, use tackle attack!” he demanded as he pointed at the psychotic teddy bear. “Nido, Nido, RINA!” it shouted loudly. I watched Nidorina breathe in and out deeply as it locked eyes with Clarissa’s Spinda. “Spinda, use flail!” she exclaimed with a confident look which was a good thing. “SPINDA!” it shouted as it heard its command.

I watched the two pokemon stare each other down as Nidorina started to kick its hind legs back and soon charge at the maniac Spinda. Spinda kept its confused eyes on its target as it jumped up and down. Nidorina the leaped forward and Spinda then jumped up and onto Nidorina’s head and lifted its small arms up as sharp claws came out. Nidorina fell to the ground and Spinda started to scratch it left and right. Nidorina cried in pain as the claws dug into its rough skin. Spinda soon jumped back from Nidorina and awaited its next order.

“Great job Spinda! Now use dig!” Clarissa called out. I was surprised it knew a good ground attack but it wouldn’t do much to Nidorina. “Spin Spinda!” it shouted as it dug deep into the ground. “Nidorina, go down into the hole and use poison sting!” the leader shouted. I was shocked, I never seen anyone counter dig like that.

“Nido!” the powerful female shouted as it went into the hole. Silence was heard for a few seconds then we hear a loud scream. “SPINDA!” the teddy bear shouted as it busted out of the ground with purple needles sticking out of its butt. Spinda ran around in circles causing the needles to fall off its butt. “Spin Spinda!” it cried out as foam started to come out of its mouth again. “Great job Nidorina!” he shouted as his pokemon came out of the whole with a happy look on its face.

“Spinda, use hypnosis!” she shouted out to her damaged bear. “Spinda!” it shouted as it got ready to attack. The leader then shouted, “Nidorina, dodge it and use horn attack!” “Nidorina Nido!” it shouted as it got ready. This was a very extreme battle so far.

“Spinda!” it shouted as a large circle of glowing purple energy shot out from its body. Nidorina watched careful and moved to the right but it followed it and Nidorina got hit hard with the energy. “NIDO!” it cried in pain. I watched Nidorina try and keep balance but it soon fell on its side sleeping.

“Nidorina is unable to battle, first round goes to Clarissa,” the referee announced. I clapped loudly on a great battle but it was just beginning. The leader recalled his sleeping pokemon and put the pokeball back on his side. He then took another pokeball which seemed to be a lure ball. I knew his next choice would be water. He tossed it in the air and a large red and white pokemon came crawling out.



Hoped you all enjoyed it! It was fun writing this and I havent written a gym battle lately but hey it makes you think who will win. But after this will be the last 3 chapters. And the end I hope will shock you all! Thanks for reading and sorry about the long delay. See ya all later!



:yes: :D :wave:

Edit: Thanks Soggy Cardboard for giving th list of attacks Spinda knows!

[mistysakura]

That was a surprising chapter. The new gym leader was good too -- it was a cool battle. I think that the bit where Nidorina countered Dig by going into the hole itself was interesting, and a good tactic. I don't remember anyone countering Dig like that either.

Just one little thing, and my personal prreference; I like it when paragraphs are left-aligned. Just trivial stuff. Go Clarissa!

[DannyBoy]

Mistysakura: Thanks. I will make it so it is left aligned. I am glad you like it so far and I hope you like the rest. I am trying to make this be a brutal action packed battle.


The next chapter is going great so far. Also I am still in the process of planning what to do after this fic besides South Pacific. I really want to stick with South Pacific for a while before I start a new fic. Right now I might make a spin off of this fic with Clarissa and it will either be a short prequal or a sequal type fic. Or maybe even both. But I still got lot's of ideas on what to do and hope everyone likes. Also the final chapters are changed again and this is final since I wrote some of them already to get a feel on how they will go. It will be 2 more chapters after this. So get ready for a shocking end. See ya all later!


:yes: :D :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Well here is the final part of the gym battle. I hope you all like it! I never planned on this being a long story and I was right. It is coming to a close soon and it will be a good one I hope. Lots of questions will start to be answered in the upcoming chapters which should be good. You will all find out about Kayla and the mysterious Clarissa. What will happen to them you will have to wait. I have a half day of school tomarrow and the rest of the week off so i should have some major writing time. So with enough talk here is the conclusion to the gym battle!







Mysteries That Await




Giovanni Has Left the Building, New Gym Leader part 2







“Nidorina is unable to battle, first round goes to Clarissa,” the referee announced. I clapped loudly on a great battle but it was just beginning. The leader recalled his sleeping pokemon and put the pokeball back on his side. He then took another pokeball which seemed to be a lure ball. I knew his next choice would be water. He tossed it in the air and a large red and white pokemon came crawling out. “KINGLER KING!” it shouted loudly.

“Ok, Spinda, we can do this! Use tackle attack!” Clarissa shouted out to her lightning bolt patterned pokemon. “Spin Spinda!” it shouted as it got read y to attack. “Kingler, use harden!” Ivan shouted. “Kingler!” it shouted loudly as it pounded its claws on the grass.

Spinda shouted its name and dashed forward causing foam to fly back and hit Clarissa in the face. “EW!” she shouted as she wiped it away. Kingler seen it nearing and soon began to glow a bright blue all over. Spinda leaped up and fell into Kingler then bounced back. The force of it caused it to be slammed into the ground hard leaving its imprint in the dirt and grass. “Spinda!” it screamed as it got back up looking angrier than ever.

“Come on, you can do it! Use faint attack!” Clarissa exclaimed. “PINDA!” it shouted loudly. Spinda looked back and winked at Clarissa as it soon faded into the air. “Kingler, be careful and use water gun when you see it!” Ivan announced. Kingler closed its eyes and tried to hear where Spinda was at. You could see it was trying hard but I knew it wouldn’t work out. “King Kingler!” the large red crab shouted.

Kingler opened its eyes and looked around helplessly trying to figure out where the crazy Spinda was. Soon it heard a noise from behind it and it turned around to come across nothing. Then it turned back around to see the ferocious teddy bear in front of its face. Kingler panicked as it was shoved back rolling on the soil. “KINGLER!” it cried out. “Spinda!” the dazed pokemon exclaimed.

“Kingler!” the gym leader shouted. I watched as Kingler pounded its large sharp claw at the ground as it slowly got back up and shouted, “KING!” “SPIN!” Spinda shouted as it was in shock. “Spinda, hurry and use dizzy punch!” Clarissa shouted quickly. “Kingler, dodge it and use vice grip,” Ivan said as he pointed at the small lightning bolt patterned bear. “King Kingler Leer!” it shouted loudly.

Spinda’s swirled eyes started to spin around and around as it started to lose balance but still have control. It then looked at Kingler and started to run at full force with its small arm up and glowing. “SPIN!” it shouted. Kingler jumped out of the way and opened its sharp pincers and grabbed the hyper pokemon. It then squished them shut trapping the now crying out bear. “King!” it shouted as it threw the bear on the ground.

“Great job Kingler, finish it with water pulse!” he shouted out. “King!” it exclaimed as it pushed its claw out and aimed it towards Spinda. “Spinda, watch out and use faint attack,” Clarissa said in a worried tone. “Sp…in…da,” it cried out softly. “I knew it was finished after this attack.

Spinda’s body started to fade slowly in the air but then it started to re appear in the same spot again. It was too weak to attack. Soon a huge screeching sound was heard and a large gush of swirling blue water pulsed out of the huge claw. Spinda was pushed into the ground causing newly formed mud to fly up. “SPINDA!” it shouted as it jumped up and then fell face forward into the cold black mud. The mental bear was finally taken out after a hard hit.

“Kingler is the winner!” the announcer announced. I wasn’t surprised, the bear was tired out. “Spinda is out of the match,” the announcer said. He then closed his eyes and whispered “thank you”. He must have been scared of Spinda.

“Return Spinda!” Clarissa called out as she returned her teddy bear pokemon. The crazy bear was finally taken out after a brutal beating. Clarissa put its pokeball back and grabbed another pokeball. She tossed it in the air and a large purple blob came sliding out. “MUK!” the sliding sludge exclaimed.

“Kingler, use vice grip!” he shouted. “King!” the crab pokemon shouted as it opened up its pincers again. “Muk, use toxic!” Clarissa shouted loudly. “UCK!” it shouted loudly as it slid towards the crab.

Kingler waited as the toxic sludge slid near. Muk then was quickly picked up by the large claw and was in complete shock. “Muk!” it said playfully as it slid threw the claw. “KINGLER!” it shouted in shock now. Muk then opened its mouth and released a large glob of purple sludge. The sludge went on the crabs face as spread all over. Kingler quickly moved its claw towards its face and released a jet of water at it. The sludge fell off but you could tell it was poisoned by the purple in its face.

“Great job!” they both shouted. “Kingler use water pulse!” Ivan shouted. Kingler heard the command and pounded its claws on the ground and shouted, “KINGLER!” Clarissa thought quickly and shouted, “Use sludge bomb.” “Muk!” the purple goop shouted.

Kingler opened up its large red claw and a jet of cold blue water came out. Muk quickly opened its mouth and shot out five large poison purple balls. The water shoved them back at Muk doing no damage but the water smashed into Grimer causing it to slid back and hit the glass tank. “Muk,” it cried out. I knew it would lose, it was just caught.

“Kingler, finish it off with hyper beam,” Ivan shouted loudly. “Grimer, watch out!” she shouted. “Muk!” the weakened sludge shouted. I couldn’t believe it already knew hyper beam. It was shocking to me.

“KING KINGLER KING KINGLER!” it shouted as a large yellow sphere started to form in the middle of its red claw. Muk started to panic as it tried to move but it was paralyzed. Soon a large beam of yellow light shot out from the sphere smashing into the sludge pokemon causing it to fly up and hit the ground hard. “Muk!” it cried out as its eyes closed.

"Muk lost and Kingler is once again the winner. Again, I wasn’t to surprised it lost. She just caught it a day ago and it seems to be a baby Grimer.

“You did good Muk, return,” Clarissa sadly said as she recalled her pokemon back to its ball. She placed it back on her side as she took another. She lifted the ball to her lips and kissed it and shout, “Come on out Marshstomp!” The ball opened up as a large scaly blue pokemon came out. “Marsh, Marsh Marshstomp Stomp!” it shouted loudly. You could tell it was in the mood to fight.

Clarissa then shouted, “Marshstomp, use earthquake.” Marshstomp looked back and winked at Clarissa and yelled out its name. “MARSH!” it shouted as it started to glow a bright blue. “Kingler use harden attack,” Ivan announced. “King!” it shouted as it began to glow red.

Marshstomp then jumped up high and fell back down on the ground. The ground began to quake and dust flew up in the air. Kingler stood there frozen like but soon its red glow began to fade and it stared to be jerked around. It lost its balance and fell on the ground. “King!” it cried in pain. “Marsh Marshstomp!” it said in an excited tone.

“Great, finish it off with mud shot!” she shouted. “Marsh!” it nodded. “Kingler, get up and use hyper beam!” Ivan announced. “Kin…,” it cried as it tried to get back up and fight.

Marshstomp’s body began to shake as its mouth began to expand. It then opened its mouth and released five dark mud balls at Kingler. Four of them slid across the rough crab’s body as it yelled in pain. It then just stopped moving and became quiet. It fainted from the brutal attacks. I was surprised on how strong Marshstomp really was. But why didn’t she have it use that skill in are battle. She is definitely a tough battler.

“Kingler has fainted,” he announced, followed by, “and Marshstomp is the winner. I was shocked how fast it went but beating two pokemon in a row can be tiring for a pokemon.

“Great job Kingler, you deserve a long rest.” Ivan said as he recalled his fainted crab. He then thought what pokemon he could choose next. I noticed he had a panicky look upon his face. “Go Machop!” he shouted loudly. Out of the red and white sphere came a small bluish green pokemon. I was shocked on how small this Machop was.

“Machop, use tackle!” he called out. “Machop!” it cried out as it looked at Marshstomp with an evil look. “Marshstomp, blow that pokemon away with water gun!” she shouted. “Marsh!” it called out.

Machop gave one more evil glare as it dashed towards the swamp creature. Marshstomp giggled a bit and opened its mouth and sucked in air. Then a large gush of water shot out of its mouth. I knew this would be a really short battle. Marshstomp can own this pokemon. Machop quickly dodged it and slammed into Marshstomp causing it to fly back and hot the ground hard.

Wow, is all I could think of. How could a small pokemon like that, hit a big pokemon like that hard. I guess I underestimated the power of a Machop. I should have known a fighting type would be strong. You can’t tell but deep inside they are very strong competitors.

“Marshstomp!” Clarissa said nervously. “Use Mud slap,” she announced. “Marsh!” it cried out as it got back up. “Machop, use low kick attack now!” Ivan called out to his fighting pokemon. “Ma….Chop!” it shouted.

Marshstomp ran fast towards Machop with its hand raised high as mud began to form around it. It was about to swing when Machop ducked and moved its leg out and kick Marshstomp in the gut. “Marshstomp!” it cried out. “Machop,” it laughed.

“Great, finish it with mega punch!” Ivan shouted. I had a feeling it was over. “Machop!” it yelped out. “Marshstomp dodge it and use water gun again,” Clarissa announced with confidence. “Mar!” it cried out as it lay on its back still hurt from the low kick.

Machop lifted its fist and then forced it down as a bright light grew around it. Marshstomp quickly opened its mouth and released a cold fast jet of water. It smashed into Machop causing it to fly high into the air, “MACHOP!” it cried. The water gun soon turned into a lighter shiny blue. I watched as Machop begin to freeze. Marshstomp finished blasting the ice and Machop fell to the ground. It was frozen solid.

“Clarissa, your Marshstomp just learned ice beam!” I shouted to her. I was shocked it just randomly learned it. I guess it knew it would help it out in the long run. “Wow, I can’t believe it! Great job Marshstomp!” she yelled out to her starter pokemon.

“Winner again is Marshstomp!” the referee called out. “Machop has fainted,” he finished up. This was an amazing battle. I know Clarissa will win. “The winner of this match is Clarissa. She has taken out three of the gym leader’s pokemon. The Earth badge goes to her.” He said walking over and handing her the earth shaped badge.

“Yes! We did it Marshstomp!” she said as she ran over and hugged her aquatic pokemon. “Mar!” it shouted as it started to slap Clarissa’s back hard. “OW, calm down buddy,” she cried out.

“Well you did amazing! I hope you continue to do well. See you around,” the leader said as he recalled his pokemon. “Thanks,” she replied as she recalled Marshstomp and put the badge in her left pant pocket.

Dan and Clarissa left the gym in shock and happiness. They went back to the pokemon center where Clarissa healed her tough pokemon and then to sleep because tomorrow would be even more shocking then today.







Thanks for reading and see ya all ater!


:yes: :D :wave:

[mistysakura]

Good battle! Clarissa does have some skill, and definitely some strong Pokemon. I like it when it's not just all about strong attacks, like in the game, but with tactics, original counterattacks and stuff. It was funny how the announcer was scared of the Spinda. The description in this one was pretty good; I could see everything going on. Just watch the tenses though. There were some words that stuck out in the paragraphs as being the wrong tense.

Keep it up! I wonder if there'll be a plot twist near the end since it seems that you're hinting towards one.

[DannyBoy]

Mistysakura: Thanks! The plot twist will be amazing! I can't wait to post it. SO much stuff will happen in the final chapter. It will be sad, happy, and twisted. As a spoiler I will say there will be some deaths. I just am not making as bloody as House Of Hush deaths.

Here is a little part from it and it will make you think. Still only about one question will be answered in this chapter. Now here it is,



F I N A L C O N F R O N T A T I O N

A picture of a man in a black hat and an old face appeared. “Hello Dan, welcome to the final act. I bet you are wondering what is happening. Well you will find out soon enough. But until then, you have five seconds to get out of the building. See ya real soon, unless you are blown to pieces,” he laughed as the screen turned into a clock with the number five in big bold letters popped up.

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One…





The second to last chapter will be up later to night after I do a little editing and such. See ya all later!


:yes: :P :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Here is the second to last chapter of Mysteries That Await. I hope you all enjoy it and get prepped for the longest and hopefully best chapter of the story. I am going to pour all I have into it to make it the best I can. So here is Final Confrontation.




Final Confrontation




By:Dan




“Wake up!” a loud voice shouted in my ear. “Wake up!” it shouted again. I looked up to see Clarissa all packed up and ready to go. “Where are we going?” I asked scratching my tired back. She pointed out the door at a large bus and shout, “Look! That will take us to the path that will bring you up to the Elite Four.” I felt sad because that’s not where we were going. “Sorry, but were not going to that place. We are going to a large building that’s about a few miles down the road by badge acceptance house. I am sorry, I should have said something earlier,” I told her. Her face went from proud and happy to sad and stupid. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. You can go back to sleep,” she said to me in an upset voice. “No, it’s ok. We can get ready and start walking to the place right now,” I hoped it would bring a slight smile to her tan face. Her mouth made a small Cresant and she said, “Sure, let’s go,” she said as she walked across the red tiled floor and then out the sliding glass doors.




I stood up and headed for the door when all of a sudden a young girl ran up to me and looked me in the eyes. I tried to gently push her way but she grabbed my arm hard. “Excuse me, what’s your problem?” I asked with a scared and confused look upon my face. “Beware, you have bad things coming in your future!” she screamed as she fell on the floor.



“Kayla! Baby, what did you do to her!?” an angry blonde haired mom in a white dress shouted. “I didn’t do anything; she ran up to me and started saying creepy things. I am sorry let me help you get her over to a chair,” I responded quick as I picked her up and placed her on a red leather chair. It was right next to the door and I could seen Clarissa outside waiting. “Ok, I think she will be fine. I am sorry to leave but I have to go,” I said as I left the center.



When I walked out, all I could think about was the little girl and the strange message she gave me. To top it all off, her name was Kayla. Could this mean something? “Clarissa, can I borrow your cell phone?” I asked politely. Clarissa reached into her pocket and took out a small red Nokia cell phone and said, “Sure.” I took it from her hand and dialed my hometown’s pokemon center. The phone rang several times and finally someone picked up.




“Hello?” a young female voice asked. “Hi, is Kayla there?” I asked. “Um…is this Dan?” the voice said in a freaked out tone. I wondered for a second and said, “Yes, now can you please tell me where Kayla is?” The girl then gulped and told me, “She went to go find you, but I haven’t heard from her in a day or two. She hasn’t been updating me on where she is been. Why do you know where she is?” My heart suddenly dropped. I could not breathe. Something happened to her. It is my fault is all I could think. “I will call you back,” I told her as I hung up and gave Clarissa her phone back.



“What’s wrong?” Clarissa asked me. I looked at her and gave her a depressed look. We started walking down the long black paved street. We passed a few houses and stores as we walked east. My hands and legs started to shake at the thought she could be hurt or even worse dead. I tremble and fall to the ground. My hands get scraped on the pavement and I start to bleed a little. I make a fist and pound them on the ground.


“WHY!” I scream, “Why did she have to follow me! If only Venom or anything like that had happened, we could be home together!” Clarissa kneeled down next to me and started to rub my back. “Is it about Kayla?” she asked me. “Yes, she is missing,” I reply back. “It is going to be ok, I am sure she is fine,” she told me. It sort of comforted me and I knew Clarissa meant the best. I stood up and helped her back up and hugged her. “Thank you for being so honest with me on everything. You are a good friend,” I told her. “Yea…,” she told me with a stutter.



She pushed me back a bit and got ready to speak when an evil laugh was heard from in front of us. “How sad is this, Venom President’s own daughter is in love. Wow, Donna, I am sadden by your stupidity. Did you tell the poor sap yet?” the evil female voice shouted.



We looked over to see a woman in all black in a purple jeep. She had a gun like device in her hand and had it pointed at us. “Clarissa, what is she talking about?” I asked her with a puzzled face. Clarissa’s face began to tear up and her body began to tremble. “I meant to tell you sooner or later. I swear! I was going to tell you on the bus ride but everything got messed up. When I first met you, I was supposed to lure you to the place so you could join the others but as we spent time together, I began to like you even more. I swear I never meant to hurt you. Please…believe me. I have to tell you something about Kayla,” she pleaded to me.



“How sad are you. Your father will not be pleased with your work,” the women said with an angry tone. I looked at Clarissa and seen tears running down her face. I moved away from her and said, “Get away from me!” Clarissa covered her face and stood up. She then dashed into the dark forest.




“I’ll be seeing you sooner than you think,” she shouted to me she sat back down in her jeep and drove off in Clarissa’s direction. I closed his eyes and could not believe what was happening. Has everything Clarissa and I shared a lie? Was she really a trainer? Was she really my friend? All these questions started to bug me as I continued walking to the Committee house.



I continued walking forward with my head full of confusion. I didn’t know who to talk to or who to trust. I just knew I had to find Kayla. After a few more minutes of walking through the dark forest I reached the building. It was a large grey building with large windows all over. I looked around to see no cars or people. I looked up and into the windows and I could see no lights. It was empty.



I walked forward and knocked on the door. The door was unlocked and I knew someone had to be in there. I slowly walked into the stuffy dark building. I crept in and asked, “Hello? Is anybody here?” I waited for a minute or two but there was no response. I looked around and then walked over to the grey counter with only sunlight to guide my way.



I looked and everything on the counter and behind it were gone. All of a sudden I heard the door slam shut and everything became darker. I slowly walked to a near by window that was giving little light. I looked outside and seen nothing. Then I heard a loud laugh. I turned my head around and seen a large white screen coming down from the sealing.


A picture of a man in a black hat and an old face appeared. “Hello Dan, welcome to the final act. I bet you are wondering what is happening. Well you will find out soon enough. But until then, you have five seconds to get out of the building. See ya real soon, unless you are blown to pieces,” he laughed as the screen turned into a clock with the number five in big bold letters popped up.


Five,


Four,


Three,


Two,


One…



I quick jumped out the glass window. I felt the sharp jagged edges of glass cut my skin. Soon a large explosion was heard from the back of the building. I started to feel the heat as I lay on the ground. Soon everything went black. My mind started to become full of empty thoughts and worry.



Was I dead?



Was I alive?



Did this really happen?



Was Clarissa trying to warn me?



Was Kayla in there?



Why me?



Why now?



Why did Venom go after the pokemon committee?



Will this nightmare end?



My eyes started to slowly move around but I could not see anything. Was I in heaven? Was I in hell? I moved my heavy arms felt around but all I could feel is a cold concrete floor. I moved my now cold hands up to my face and felt around. I felt a cover over my face and that’s why I couldn’t see. I quickly slipped it off to reveal a large dark room. I could not even see my own hands it was so dark.



I moved my body up against the cold wall which gave me shivers up and down my tingling spine. I followed the wall around to find a handle and try to escape. I moved around and around and it felt like the wall just would never end. Finally after walking for a bit I came to the next side of the wall. I continued walking down the side of the wall when I came to small metal rod sticking out of the door. I moved in front of it and tried to push in and out but it was no luck. I slid down the side of it and curled up. I had no idea what else could happen.



As I sat there, I could feel a cold rush of air hit my back. I turned around and laid my body on the floor. I could see a small slit going across about four feet. Then I started to hear noise. It was a sign that I was alive and not in a dark hell of loneliness. As I listened I could only make out a few spoken words.




“That new…Kayla is doing….She has been very…When Dan…Thank you sir,” the deep male voice said. I sat and wondered why Kayla is here? Was she apart of this terror or a helpless victim like I? I had a feeling I would find out soon enough.





Hope you all left you wondering. I can't wait to post the final chapter. The final title will be,

One


Thats it. It's simple and it sums up everything. I hope you will be prepared for every twist and turn I thought up and probably everything you thought will be gone now. See ya all later!


:yes: :D :wave:

[mistysakura]

So I guess Kayla the kid was a sadistic trick employed by Venom?

Whoa, this screams plot twist. It was really unexpected. That's cool. I'd have liked it better if there were subtle clues in the previous chapters (maybe they were, but I missed them), and then everything falls into place. It was just a little bit too sudden here.

Still, plot twists are good. And jumping through a glass panel must have really hurt. And poor Clarissa...

[mr_pikachu]

Well, it appears this is finally drawing to a close. Kayla's missing, Clarissa (or whoever she is) ran off, and Dan's locked up somewhere. Not to mention the fact that we have no clue who the heck that old guy was. I assume that all the mysteries will be cleared up in the last chapter. If they aren't, there are a bunch of readers who I'm sure would be happy to force you to write a sequel. ;)

See you at the last chapter! :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Mistysakura: Thanks for the reply! The next chapter will explain lot's and will be the best chapter of all my works combined. It will be a long one so be prepared.

Mr.Pikachu: Welcome back! Thanks! You will find out soon enough about everything and I think it will be interesting to read about. So much happens that it will be shocking. I don't think anyone but me could guess what will happen. Also the sequal is a definate possability because it did well at the awards(Thanks everyone) It got second place a lot and it was amazing to even get votes. But yea, after I do a good chunk of my next fic which I hope will be better than this, I will start a sequal if I can get some good ideas. In my mind I have tons but I need to work them out. But it might be hard for some characters to be in it since some won't be making it for the final part of the fic.

Thanks for reading and sorry for the delay. At school there has a been a fight thing between different clicks and its getting annoying so I been focusing writing something for our school magazine. But hopefully it will be up by the middle of next week. Also thanks for the votes! I actually one 2 awards! Most Rounded Member and surprisingly enough Best Dedicated Writer. I knew I wouldn't win best writer because there is so many great writers here and I was up against the best. See ya all later!



Updated Info:

I did not want to double post and I decided to explain myself. I lost intrest here I admitt. Lately it has been going slower here so I deicded to get a brake from here. With leaving I lost intrest in finishing the last chapter. Today I notice things to be getting a little bit better and I started to finish the chapter. For all who still care, I am sorry and I will try and have it out by tommarrow. It is so close to finished and I wanted to finish this. Also for thous who care mostly just Mistysakura and Mr.Pikachu my dedicated readers and only, I have other fics I been writing that I might post here. I am so confused right now and I am in caious. But I am trying to get back on track because I have a week off and In a week, I can do a lot. Again, I am sorry. THank you Mistysakura and Mr.Pikachu for being Loyal Readers the whole way!

[DannyBoy]

Ok, here is the final chapter...



Mysteries That Await




One





“It’s time…get him…,” a female voice said from behind the door. I quickly moved back away from because I didn’t know which way it went. Soon I heard keys jingling from behind the large door. Then a loud pop and the door swung open. Two Venom members walked in. One was female and was in a all purple robe and had a large purple hat on which covered her face. The other was male and he was in the same thing but in black. I could tell which gender because of their distinct voices.


“Get up Agent Dan,” the female said to me. I was confused, Agent Dan? Why were they calling me that? “Who is Agent Dan?” I asked to them. They both looked at each other and bent down and picked me up.


They walked me out of the cold cement room and closed the door. We were now walking down a long purple hallway with light torches on both sides. The smell of burning oil filled the hall. We soon stopped in front of a all black door and they opened it up. We were now in a large empty green room. At the very back on the room, instead of a wall was a large glass window.


“Stay here, you will be back to normal shortly,” the female said to me as the two Venom members walked out of the room and locked the door. I was left alone in the large depressing room. All I could think about was Kayla, Clarissa, and Agent Dan. Who was Agent Dan? Is that me?


I started to walk around and soon to the window. I looked out and could only see acre after acre of forest. But underneath the place was a large rocky river. I then remembered my arms and stomach. I lifted the grey shirt and the cuts were gone. How long have I been in this place? I was healed up and I was hurt bad, I remember that much. I then heard the door open up. I quick turned around to see Clarissa with some kind of mini TV in her hand.


“What do you want Clarissa, or is it Donna?” I shouted. “You have every right to be pissed but I need to talk to you and show you something. Me and you, we’re not that different,” she told me. She walked over and sat down next to me. Since there was nothing better to do, I decided to listen and watch.


Clarissa cleared her throat and began to speak, “Ok, well first of all, my real name is Donna. But I changed it when I left here to find you. See my father hired a bunch of people to go get the gym leaders all around. When he ran short I offered to help him and he sent me to get you.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This was so strange and messed up. I then started to remember strange times with her.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The poison gas attack still hit them and they were both badly poisoned. Joe then got back up and looked at Clarissa and Marshstomp and gave them a strange look. He then grabbed Gulpin’ pokeball and returned it back.


“This isn’t over yet Dan!” he shouted as he ran off.


“That was weird,” I said as he went over to his sick pokemon.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



“This is strange, why did he just go like that? He seen Clarissa and he seemed a bit frightened. Maybe he was scared of her Marshstomp. But still what if she knows about him. Maybe this is a set up or maybe this is all in my head.


Clarissa seems like a great girl…but there is just something about her. She’s nice, funny, and a little ditzy. I can’t see her being someone bad. Why would she want to do something to stop the pokemon league? She wants to be a pokemon master I think…or maybe something else. If I ask her something she might get offended and hate me again.


I feel bad leaving Kayla; she seemed very worried when I left. I wonder how she is holding up. I want to ask her out but I am afraid, what if we brake up. Everything we had would be ruined and then she would be gone. I need to stop worrying so much,” I thought as I stared off at the other side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This was so strange. All the moment we had she left clues on things. Like the Venom member leaving when he seen her. Then her acting weak at the gym and then pulling off an amazing gym battle with very powerful pokemon. Now I figured out it was an act after all the pieces are now connected.


“Well, look at this, traitor and are new member talking. How sweet,” a male voice clapped as the door swung open. Donna and I stood up and looked at the man. “Father, don’t remind him of what he used to be, please, I beg you!” she cried out as she ran over and kneeled on the cold floor. Tears flowed out of her eyes as she banged on the floor. I could tell she didn’t want to tell me something.


“Please, tell me! I am sick of this **** and it needs to end now!” I shouted violently. “Well, looks like your personality is coming back. Let’s say you are a part of Venom,” he chuckled. I looked strangely and asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, it was a long time ago when you were the bright age of thirteen if I remember correctly. You were on your way of becoming a top agent at Venom and we were proud.


The one day you left and never returned. We soon found out you had hit your head and were bright back to a farm, and now, we decided to take all of the elite members and gym leaders. They are all fine now; we let the go once we brought you here a few days ago. We knew deep inside you have a determination to find out problems and we were correct! Welcome back son!” he smiled as he ran up and hugged my shocked face.


“This can’t be true!” I shouted. No way am I the son of an evil organization. Thing’s are neither clear nor right. I have to get out of here but how? This is not happening!


“Dan!” a familiar female voice shouted. Running in came Kayla. I was in utter shock! She ran into my arms as we embraced for a moment. Soon two members came running up and shoved her off me. I could smell sour milk on her rough dirty skin. Her cloths were ripped and it looked like she has been taken capture a long time ago.

“Now, Dan, if you do not make this easy she dies,” my supposed father barked. His eyes leaked evil and I knew I couldn’t dare be a part of this family. I knew it had to be false. “I call you a bluff,” I yelled. “Fine,” he responded as he pointed to the guards holding her. The two guards in all green suites looked at one another and took out small black guns.


“No!” I yelled. Donna leaped in front of her as the two members pulled the trigger. Two fast bullets flew out of the gun and smashed into Donna’s abdomen. “AW!” she screamed. All five members and her father were in shock. Donna fell on the floor as blood began to fall from her weakening body.


“Donna, why?!” shouted as I ran to her pale body. Her pale lips began to move but nothing was heard. Her eyes faded away as she quickly whimpered with much trouble, “I…did…it for…you…and…Kayla…” She then went as blood continued to cover the floor.


“You bastards!” I shouted as I looked at all the people around. I quickly stole one of the guns from the member and stood up. Kayla quickly broke free and ran to the wall outside of the room.

I held the gun in my quivering hands as I aimed it at the man who shot her. I placed my cold angered finger on the trigger and pulled it. The bullet flew out and penetrated the guys forehead. Blood splashed as he slid to the ground. “Anyone else want to stop me?” I shouted. The other four men in black outfits ran out of the room and all was left was my father and I.


“So, you going to kill everyone to get your sister back? That is not going to help the truth. You are sad, just like Donna!” he shouted loudly. Tears came from my eyes. I knew I had nothing left to live for. I knew I couldn’t tell Kayla how I feel, I knew I could never live a life without guilt, and I couldn’t live knowing my family was an evil organization.






“What are you going to do know boy? Kill me?” he shouted. Dan walked over and knelt in the blood soaked floor and grabbed another gun the other man dropped. He slid it on the floor towards Kayla. Kayla picked it up and asked, “What is this for?” “When I die, use it!” he shouted. “NO!” she shouted.

Dan placed the whole on the gun on his temple and pulled the trigger. Blood spurted all over as Dan fell to the ground lifeless. His body still twitching soon faded and concluded.

“NO!” Kayla screamed as she aimed the blood covered gun at his father. “It’s your turn!” she shouted as she pulled the trigger. The bullet came rushing out and slammed into the leaders chest. She pulled it once more causing it to smash into his stomach. He fell to the ground coughing blood up and screamed, “Go to hell!” Kayla’s eyes filled up with tears as she ran out of the building.

~
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~
~
~




“Girl, I am sorry.” My friend said to me. “That whole family was messed and Dan did what was right for himself. You wouldn’t want him to live with all that crazy wack job family,” she said to me again. “I guess…but what the hell went on there? It was all fast and blurred by hatred and death. Maybe he was crazy and never knew it,” I replied back. “Kayla, girl, he loved you, maybe he didn’t want to hurt you,” she told me. My jaws dropped and I responded, “What?!”

















I would like to thank all who read, Zee, Pika, Misty, Brit Chis, and the few others. I liked writing this, but it just wasn't my best. I never think I will have a best. I started out strong with tons and I guess I lost a lot of interests in it. My newst goal is to keep everyone intrested in what is going to happen with my fics. I have two fics I am working on now. Both have two pretty good chapters done. Who knows what I will do next, even I don't know. But for now, this is it. I lost interest in SP. If I do I fic, I need to learn to have an even bigger goal to finish it and to not make it drag on or be boring. Thanks for all who replied with the advice, it helps. Thanks again, and you may see me very soon. Also sorry to all who I haven't read and replied lately. I have to start catching up over my long break. Agains sorry and thanks!



~ Dan

[mistysakura]

Unexpected...
Clarissa/ Donna seems to have a heart in the end, but why would she participate in the plan in the first place then? Dan... poor Dan... I think that the flashbacks were good. the descripton was a bit lacking, though; there was quite a bit of telling, instead of showing.

But overall that was... whoa.

[mr_pikachu]

Well, that seemed kinda fast. It was interesting with the actions and all, but it was hard to understand, due to the speed. On the plus side, it certainly was a surprising ending, even with the Star Wars feel... Luke, I am your father! ;)

Anyway, next time try to go a bit slower and capture the emotions, as well as straight-up description, like mistysakura mentioned. Overall, this was a good fic, and it was worth my time reading. See you next time! :wave:

[DannyBoy]

Thank you two! I know it went a bit fast...sorry. I had so much stuff on my mind and I feel this wasn't my best and I just wanted to post it and I rushed. But Mr.Pikachu, I am glad it was worth your time. With everything going on I am surprised I even wrote it. I knew I had to finish this and this is my first pokemon/mystery fic finished to go with my other two finished ones. So if a mod sees, could you please put this in the finished fic section? Thanks!