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Conn
7th June 2003, 01:16 AM
Meh, couldn't think of anything else. This is my first fic, so it's not going to be all that great.
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Conn's Adventures In The Pokémon World - Chapter 1 "Oh no! Flaming chicken!"


Conn was standing by a table. On it was a Pokéball. His mom and dad were watching proudly. Conn slowing reached down to pick up the red and white ball
and yelled,
"Go, Pokémon!"
the room flashed white for about 5 seconds. Appearing out of the Pokéball was an amazing...
Kabuto! An ancient Pokémon! For a birthday present?

Conn woke up. Nothing but a dream. No Kabuto. Conn glanced at his dark black digital clock. 6:37.
"Yes!" Whispered Conn. His mom and dad said they got him a Pokémon for his birthday, and he would receive at at 6:40. Conn quickly got dressed, crept to the bathroom and brushed his teeth.
When he got down stairs, his mom yelled:
"Happy birthday!"
As Conn looked at the table, he saw a Pokéball. He picked it up and tossed it.
"Go, Pokéball!"
The room flashed white. Emerging from the Pokéball was...
"Torch! Torchic!" The chick Pokémon replied.
"Wow!" Said Conn. "It's cool! I like it!"
"You better." Dad grumbled. "It cost us $75." This is when Mom kicked Dad.
"I'm going to go on a journey!" Conn yelled with enthusiasm in his voice
"What?" Mom yelled.
"I want to go on a journey with my Torchic!"
"Okay, fine. But you have to take this cell phone along." Mom said.
Mom handed Conn a cell phone with the home number programmed in.
"You should visit Professor Birch. He might have tips for you." Dad said.

Conn picked up his bag (which he packed a week ago) and put it on. Conn walked over to his bedroom dresser and put on his watch. He recalled Torchic and left his small home.
The cool breeze in Littleroot felt great. Conn walked calmly with a huge smile on his face. He walked for about 35 minutes to the west of his house towards the lab. When Conn got there, he noticed a
sign.
_______________________
Prof. Birch's Lab
OPEN: 7:10 AM - 9:00 PM
Starters are HERE!
_______________________
Conn looked at his dark watch. 7:08.
"Aww man! I have to wait 2 minutes!" Conn said.
Conn took his Pokéball from his pocket and sent out Torchic. He stroked his Torchic for a while.
Professor Birch saw and heard all that from his open window. He called out to Conn:
"Hey you! Yeah, you! What are you doing down there?"
"I'm waiting for your lab to open." Conn replied. "I need a Pokédex and belt."
"I'll let you in. Just wait." Birch replied.
Conn recalled Torchic and waited. In 30 seconds, Birch was at the door. He looked much younger than Professor Oak and Elm. He had short brown hair while Oak and Elm had white or gray.
"Come in." He said.

Conn walked in. The place as cluttered with papers. In the centre of the room was a table with 3 boxes and 3 Pokéballs.
"Here." Birch said. He walked over to the table. Conn fallowed. Birch handed him a Trainer Belt, a Pokédex and 3 Pokéballs.
"I didn't ask for these." Conn told Prof. Birch.
"Well." He said. "What are you going to catch Pokémon with, huh?"
"Touché." Conn said as he put the belt on.
He reached into his Pocket and put Torchic's ball as well as the 3 empty balls on the belt. The Pokédex went in his pocket. He thanked Birch and left his lab. Conn walked north-east for 5 minutes when he thought he saw a trainer.

"Hey! You!" Conn called. The trainer looked at him. "Want to battle?"
"You're on!" Said the kid. The kid looked about 11 and it really looked like a bug catcher.
"GO! Torchic!" Conn yelled as he tossed his Pokéball.
"Torchii! Torchic!"
The boy started to laugh. "All trainers send out a fire type against a bug catcher."
"What's your point?" Conn felt ready to punch him.
"You, are going to lose this battle." He started to laugh. The boy took a Pokéball from his belt...

Iveechan
7th June 2003, 03:08 AM
"Aww man! I have to wait 2 minutes!" Conn said. Lol, that's just like me!

Even though it's a trainer fic, the style is more original than a few others I've seen. And a cliffhanger's a real plus ;)

Dragon_Claw
7th June 2003, 07:12 AM
I love trainer fic, and this is no exception. Altough this is like the fourth Hoenn one I'm still going to read it. :)

Conn
7th June 2003, 10:20 AM
Iveechan: Thanks. I'm kinda amazed that's it's pretty good. O_o

Dragon Claw: It may be in Hoenn now, but it won't end in it.

pokemonrule13
7th June 2003, 01:16 PM
Cool story. I thought it was going to be a regular trainer fic but your chaging it around and thats good!

mistysakura
7th June 2003, 09:44 PM
So far, in my opinion, still quite regular. I loved your "Everyone sends out a Fire Pokemon against a Bug Catcher" bit though. It really gives the 'old and neglected' characters some personality.

This is better than many other trainer fics I have seen, especially for a first chapter. Just try to be original (I'm not suggesting that you aren't) and keep up the good work!

Conn
8th June 2003, 12:13 AM
Conn's Adventures In The Pokémon World - Chapter 2 "The Water Skater"

Conn thought that sounded retarded. Of course people did! The ice type was becoming more popular, so fire is used by almost every trainer. There were lots of bug catchers and fire worked great on bugs. He didn't understand.
"Go, SURSKIT!" He yelled.
Conn thought it looked odd. "Okay, Torchic! Start off with Ember!" Conn guessed she (The Torchic) knew that.
He was right. Torchic used ember on Surskit and it looked painful for an Ember. He whipped out the Pokédex and it had the current HP of both Pokémon:

TORCHIC: 20/20
SURKIST: 15/20
"WHAT?!" Conn yelled. He was stunned. Why did Ember only do 5 damage?!
"Heheheh..." The bug catcher laughed. "Scan Surskit."
Conn did.
'SURSKIT:
TYPE(S): Bug/Water'
That's all Conn needed to see.
"Torchic, brace yourself!
"Destroy the Torchic! Bubble!" The Bug catcher pointed with his left hand as he said 'Bubble'.
Conn checked the screen:
TORCHIC: 10/20
SURSKIT: 15/20
"Wait..." Conn thought. "Torchic is a chick Pokémon, chickens can peck, flying is good on bug..." Conn checked Torchic's attacks. The following showed up:
Scratch, Growl, Ember, Peck, Rock Slide
"Yes! Torchic use pe--...wait!" He saw Rock Slide. the data for Rock Slide showed up:
Damage: 30 Accuracy: 90% Effect: 30% change of flich.
"Use Rock Slide!" Conn knew rock was also good on bug. It wasn't good on water, but with a chance of flinching, he could risk it...
"Dodge it Surskit!" The bug catcher yelled.
Surskit tried to dodge it. Surskit dodged a rock and smiled. It didn't notice the other rock heading for him. Pow.
"I've had enough games. Finish it with Bubblebeam!"
Surskit didn't move. Conn checked the Pokédex:
TORCHIC: 10/20
SURSKIT: 5/20 *flinch!*
"Woo!" Conn yelled with happiness. It worked! "Finish it with Peck!"
As Torchic ran up to Surskit, Surskit leaped to the left. To took to long as Torchic managed a Peck on it's left side, knocking it out.
"Yeah!" Conn yelled. He won his first Pokémon battle!
"Good job." Conn tryed to shake hands with him. He looked angry and ran off.
"Torchic, great job!" He stroked her.
"Tor! Chic!" She sounded happy as well.
About 5 minutes later Conn and his Torchic, which he let be on his shoulder, got to Route 101. As Conn was walking, he heard a growl.
"Grrrr...YENA!" The strange dog Pokémon growled.
"I want that! Go, Torchic!" Conn said.
Torchic leapt off Conn's shoulder and into battle. Her claws scratched Conn and he looked a bit hurt. Torchic said 'Tor' in a sad voice meaning she was sorry. Conn
nodded and got ready to battle.
"Use Peck!"
The Peck got the Pokémon's left right side of the Pokémon's stomach. It yelled "Poochyena!" in pain and used the Howl attack. It scared Torchic a bit but Conn told her it was okay.
"Ember attack!" Ordered Conn. He tried not to sound mean to his Torchic.
"POOCHYENAAA!" Poochyena yelled in pain. The Ember burned the Pokémon's leg.
"This is my only chance.” Con said to himself. “Go, Pokéball!”
It hit the Poochyena ans sucked it in. It wiggled 5 times and gave up.
“Good job Torchic!” He stroked her and headed off towards Oldale.
“I don’t think It’s long until Oldale. I’ll buy you some food and heal you.” Conn said.
“Torchic! Torchic!” Torchic replied happily.

---------------
I know, this is pretty short, but I wanted to put Oldale in the next chapter. :/

DannyBoy
8th June 2003, 02:13 PM
OK chapter. You could add more detail and make your chapter a lot longer. The battle was good when he looked up the info. Keep it up!

Conn
8th June 2003, 03:28 PM
i rushed that one. =P

I have to many typos. O_o

Venasaur89
8th June 2003, 09:41 PM
HI! great fanfic. yoUR FIRST 2 chapters were pretty impressing.

Its good that people are writing Hoenn Fanfics because, (1) There are not that many Hoenn fanfics( The one that I know r the 2ra and Journey through Hoenn. If u know anymore plz let me know). (2) Hoenn is a new place and the largest in area. (3) I am sick and tired of those made-up city/town/island names. THey are unrealistic.


Keep it up.........

P.S> Try to update about 3 or 4 times a week. That's a good way to attract people.

And also, to make ur fanfic more readable or famous, post it on pokecommunity and www.pkmn.co.uk forums.

Conn
8th June 2003, 10:33 PM
Venusaur: Thanks. It'll have a twist half way throught the story in Hoenn. Here comes the next chapter...

______________________
Conn's Adventures In The Pokémon World - Chapter 3 "Mushrooms?"

Conn was still walking to Oldale Town with Torchic on his shoulder. As Conn walked a metre more, he saw Oldale Town. It was quite faint.
"Torchic! You see that?" Conn pointed off in the distance. You could see a town. "It's Oldale!"
"Torchic! Chic!" Torchic was quite happy.
Conn started to run to Oldale. Torchic started to loose her balance but regained it when Conn heard something.
"Wurm?" The small Pokémon said.
"It looks weak. It must evolve into something strong!" Conn said as he scanned the Pokémon:
WURMPLE
TYPE(S): BUG
EVOLUTIONS:
Wurmple - Silcoon - Beautifly
Wurmple - Cascoon - Dustox
"Wow! I got to catch that!" Conn said. 'Wait.' He thought. 'I have to send out Torchic because Poochyena's burned and will faint right away.'
"Torchic, use Scratch!"
Torchic jumped off Conn's shoulder and ran at Wurmple and jumped over it. Wurmple didn't know what was going on. Torchic's claws scraped Wurmples head. Wurmple did a Tackle Attack on Torchic.
"TORCHIC: 17/20
WURMPLE: 10/17" Conn Pokédex said. The voice sounded like a computer.
"Okay! Use Rock Slide!" Conn told Torchic. She nodded.
Rocks appeared from nowhere and shot at the Wurmple. The attack missed Wurmple. Wurmple attacked with String Shot, wrapping Torchic up. It looked like she couldn't move.
"Shoot a small Ember at Wurmple!" Conn yelled.
A small and weak Ember was shot from Torchic's mouth. Her mouth was wrapped by the silk, but she burned it with Ember. The Ember hit Wurmple.
"TORCHIC: 17/20
WURMPLE: 1/17" The Pokédex read the battle aloud again.
"Okay! You're mine, Wurmple!" Conn yelled at the small, red Pokémon as he chucked one of his Pokéballs on his belt.
Wurmple was sucked into the Pokéball. It tried fighting back but it was too weak (HP) and stopped.
"Alright! Good going!" Conn called to Torchic. "Use Ember on the silk!"
Torchic used Ember and set the silk aflame. It quickly burned into nothing.
Conn started to run to Oldale again. In 10 minutes he was there. He saw some houses, a Pokémart close by, a Pokémon Centre even closer. Conn recalled Torchic and walked to the Pokémon Centre.
"Hello! I'm Nurse Joy! Would you like me to heal your Pokémon?" A nurse with pink hair greeted and asked Conn.
"Yes. Can you heal my 3 Pokémon?"
"No problem! Just wait a minute." The Nurse said. A red light started beeping.
"Oh no!" She cried. "Blissey! Take care of this, okay?"
A large pink Pokémon came toward the counter. Conn guessed it was Blissey.
"Uh...hi. Can you heal my Pokémon?" Conn asked.
"Blissey!" The Blissey said. It took Conn's 3 red and white Pokéballs and put them in a machine. Conn could tell they were healed as Blissey gave them back.
"Thanks!" Conn said to the Blissey and he left the Pokémon Centre.
Conn walked for 5 minutes to reach the Pokémart. 'This town is small' He thought to himself. He sent out Torchic and went inside.
"Hello!" Said the shopkeeper. "Can I help you with anything?"
"Yes, I'd like 3 Pokéballs and 2 Potions please." Conn said.
The shopkeeper handed him 3 Pokéballs and 2 Potions, which he kept behind the counter. He told Conn the price and he paid it. Conn left the Pokémart.
As he was walking to Route 101 to train Poochyena and Wurmple, he saw a Zigzagoon.
"Hmm... I hear people want these. Go, Wurmple!" Conn said as he chucked Wurmple's Pokéball on the ground.
The Zigzagoon used Tackle before Conn could say anything else.
"Wurmple, use String Shot!" Conn called.
Wurmple shot silk from it's mouth and it wrapped around Zigzagoon.
"Tackle Zigzagoon while he can't move." Conn told Wurmple.
The Tackle did a fair amount as the Pokédex said:
"WURMPLE: 14/17
ZIGZAGOON: 10/14"
Zigzagoon tried moving, but it fell down and couldn't move.
"Okay, use Tackle!"
Wurmple attacked again.
"CRITICAL HIT! ZIGZAGOON: 4/14" The Pokédex said.
"Good job!" Conn told Wurmple. "Go, Pokéball!"
It sucked in Zigzagoon and wiggled about. Zigzagoon broke free!
Conn caught the ball and held out Wurmple's and said:
"Return! Go, Poochyena! Use Sand Attack!"
Poochyena kicked some sand at Zigzagoon.
"Okay! Now you're mine!" Conn tossed a Pokéball at it.
It wiggled, but Zigzagoon was weaker than before and it was kind of blinded.
"Yes! I caught it!" Conn yelled. "Return, Poochyena!"
Conn walked toward the Pokémon center to heal his new Pokémon when a small boy, about 9 years old ran up to him...
______________________
I like cliff-hangers. =P

Venasaur89
10th June 2003, 10:24 AM
great chapter!

keep it up...

Chris 2.1
10th June 2003, 11:36 AM
The comedy here is discreet but very rare in Trainer Fics this...trainery. Don't be offended, but Here are a few things you might want to know:

-Most trainer fics start on the characters birthday. This is no exception.

-Starter Pokemon are commonly used.

-Professor's are glad to talk to hand out Pokedex's to little kids they haven't met!

Don't worry, this is your first fic and you've done very well as it is. Just bear these in mind, even though you've started. Poochyena's catch is nice, but with this AND things like dreams and descriptions you need big ones, to try and get us to visualise.

'Connor walked over the hills and stared across at the city below the track. After so long in the forest, he really did appreciate the bright azure sky, once shrouded by treetops. Poochyena, out his ball now to get some fresh air, closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Torchic, perching on my shoulder proudly, flapped her wings jovially.

Walking through town, all the buildings appeared so old! This gothic city must have a Gym, Connor thought. He wandered across the cobblestones and past a gigantic museum before he lay eyes on something spectacular:'

See? it helps. Meh, I dont know the Hoenn Map...so what if that place doesn't exist :-p

Keep it up, be original, have Kecleon on the team (hehe) and just keep going! Another author in the making!

Dragon_Claw
10th June 2003, 02:18 PM
No offence, I realize this is your first thing, but: Where is the fire?! Slow down, no need for catching four Pokémon before you even have a badge!

DannyBoy
11th June 2003, 09:49 PM
Pretty good! You need to make your chapters a little longer and a little more descriptive. I agree with Dragon_Claw that catching four pokemon before the first badgfe is a little much. Spread out the time inbetween catching pokemon to, it makes it more intresting. Keep it up!

Conn
14th June 2003, 12:05 AM
Okay! Longest chapter starts NOW!
___________
Conn's Adventures In The Pokémon World - Chapter 4 "ENTER: Calvin"

"Hello." Said the small boy who walked up to him. He was about 3'8" and wore dark blue baggy jeans which were a bit to big, a light gray shirt, red shoes, and had short, clean black hair.
"Do you by any chance have a Zigzagoon? I can never find one. My Pokémon Shroomish scares them away." The boy said.
"Well, guess what! I just caught one seconds ago!" Connor told the small boy. He tried to make him excited. It worked.
"Really? WOW!" The boy said. "By the way, my name's Calvin."
"Connor." Conn said as he stuck his hand out.
"Will you trade me the Zigzagoon?" Calvin asked. Connor could tell he really wanted one.
"No." Connor said. Calvin looked sad. "I'll give it to you for free!"
"Wow! Thanks Connor!" Calvin said. "I like Zigzagoons a lot."
----------
As Conn was walking toward Route 103 and talking to Calvin, someone called at him.
"Hey, you! Yeah, Torchic-person! I challenge you!" A girl said. She wore blue shorts, a white t-shirt, black shoes and had blue hair.
"Okay! You're on!" Conn called. "Calvin, want to watch me win?"
"Sure, Connor!"
"I will battle you with my partner, a 2-on-2 match!" She said. AT this time Conn and Calvin had ran up to her.
Her partner was a girl, probably her friend. She wore a gray t-shirt, red shorts, white shoes and had brown hair.
"But... I don't have anyone to battle with!" Conn said. He didn't want to lose!"
"HAHA!" The other girl called. She seemed more psycho than the other person. "We win!"
"No." Calvin said, quite calmly. "I will battle with Connor."
"I choose my Makuhita!" The girl with blue hair said. Let's call her Girl 1.
"Go, Arie! Show them who's the best!" The other girl said. She'll be Girl 2.
Connor never heard of a Pokémon called 'Arie.' Out of her Pokéball came an Aron. 'Aha.' Connor thought. 'She nicknamed it.'
"Fine, I choose my Zigzagoon!" Calvin said. She tried to sound tough as he tossed his new Zigzagoon in a Pokéball onto the damp, green grass.
"Well, I choose Torchic!" Connor yelled.
Torchic happily jumped off Connor's shoulder again and chirped. She liked being in battles.
-----Girl 1 + Girl 2 VS. Connor + Calvin-----
"Torchic! Start off with an Ember attack on Aron!" Connor called to his Torchic. She chirped again and shot some fire at Aron.
"No! Aron!" Girl 2 yelled out. Aron was shot by Ember. It looked quite strong on Aron.
"Get back at that Torchic! Use Tackle!"
"Try dodging it, Torchic!" Connor called out.
Aron charged at Torchic. Torchic leaped the side, but Aron was too fast. Aron hit Torchic's torso as she did a small leap.
Girl 1 called out to her Makuhita, "Use Arm Thrust on Zigzagoon!"
"Oh no!" Calvin cried. "Zigzagoon, think fast!" Calvin called as Makuhita ran at Zigzagoon. Luckily, he looked a bit tubby and was slow.
Calvin's Zigzagoon was smart. It use sand attack and the sand got in Makuhita's eye. It ran past Zigzagoon and hit a tree.
"You stupid Pokémon!" Girl 1 yelled.
"Quick! Torchic, use Rock Slide on Aron!" Connor said. "Trust me! It'll work!"
As rocks flew at Aron, it couldn't dodge them and got hit by them, but didn't flinch. Aron just survived it.
"Take Down to finish Torchic!" Girl 2 called. That wasn't a smart move.
The Take Down left Torchic with 3 HP, but knocked out Aron in the process.
"Agh! I forgot about the added effect!" Girl 2 yelled. She sounded mad.
"Okay! take out the Zigzagoon with Arm Thrust!" Girl 1 called. "You've lost!"
"Oh, really?" Conn called." Torchic, save Zigzagoon! Jump in front!"
Torchic jumped in front of Makuhit's Arm Thrust and pushed Zigzagoon out of the way.
"Good job." Conn recalled Torchic.
"Wait, Conn, check Zigzagoon's happiness metre!" Calvin called out.
Conn pointed the Pokédex tat Zigzagoon and selected 'Happiness'.
"The metre is half full!"
"Perfect! Zigzagoon, here!" Calvin called.
He took a small box that was 5 cm wide, 5 cm out and 10 cm tall. Calvin twisted it open and powder came out and went on Zigzagoon.
"Zigzagoon! RETURN!" Calvin called.
The return attack left Makuhita still standing.
"Finish Makuhita off with Fury Swipes!"
Zigzagoon's retractable claw came out and swiped at Makuhita 3 times. Makuhita fell down. It didn't move.
"Wow!" Connor yelled. "Good job Calvin!"
"Thanks, Conn." Calvin said as he recalled his Zigzagoon.
----------
Later, when Connor and Calvin went to his house, they talked about Pokémon and Calvin gave him something.
"Here, take this. It is a TM called 008, Body Slam, from Kanto. My dad gave it to me, but I want you to have it."
"Thanks, Calvin." Connor said.
"Wait, before you leave! I'd like to trade phone numbers so I can battle you someday!" Calvin called.
"Aright, sure." Connor said.
They traded Phone Numbers, and Conn headed to Route 103 with his healed Pokémon.
"Torchic, we're getting closer towards our first badge!" Connor said to Torchic, happily.
"Tor! Torchic!" Torchic sounded happy as well.
----------

DannyBoy
14th June 2003, 04:38 PM
Your getting there! The chapter was a little longer than the others. You used detail but you need to add more. If you are using word try to doat least 2 pages or more. Describe where you are and don't use all diolouge(how ever you spell it). Thats what would make your story really intresting! Keep it up!

Venasaur89
16th June 2003, 09:25 AM
That was a great chapter ..... keep it up.

pokemonrule13
17th June 2003, 11:43 PM
Hey, you really have changed from your first chapter. There are some things you should work on. After ou finsih writing something like a sentance or paragraph press enter twice because it makes it easyer to read. It gets kind of confusing after a while. In your latest chapter you wrote a good battle. It could have a had a little more to it. I like you way of showing hp. I think that is really neat. Use less dialouge. Describe where you are. I agree with ILoveX-tina and Dragon_claw about the catching the pokemon to fast. Take your time with that.