Green's Quest

[SWAMPERT1]

GREEN'S QUEST
Green had spent an action packed morning playing the cube he got for his 12th birthday. Today he was more excited than any other day because it was his 13th birthday and he gets a pokemon and his pokemon trainer license from the Pallet Town Pokemon expert Professor Oak. Green was like any other kid, he was 5’6” and had blond spiked hair. He lived between the legendary trainers Red & Blue for his hole life and had got his first pokemon, Charmander http://www.pokemasters.net/images/games/ruby_sapphire/rs206.png from the two Master trainers. It was the strongest lv.5 Charmander ever it new rockslide which helped in the Pallet town pidgey crisis (pidgeys were attacking every one). After getting ready Green went out side after saying good-bye to his mom, dad and his older brother Yellow. He was now starting his never-ending quest.
Red saw Green on the way to the lab so he walked up said happy birthday and said that he would walk Green to the lab. After what seemed like an eternity Green got there. He slowly opened the lab door and then he say it, the view that would change his life forever. A table with three pokeballs and an excited lab and town waiting for him.
Green started to walk slowly to the table. Then his family walked in behind him. Green started to be nervous. He new his quest would be long and hard but with his charmander (nicknamed pyro) and his new pokemon partner by his side he new that his little friends and him would concur anything!
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This is my first fan-fic ever so its short and medium good. the next chapter will be alot better! hope you enjoy the story. If people dont mind can you say if you would mind if i used your fan-fic character in my story. ect would be say me Green meeting R.J. and battleing him. ill edit any parts that dont make sence. ENJOY:wave: ow and ill do 1-2 more chapters tonight

[DannyBoy]

Ok, I think you have a Idea set up. Its intresting with the names and having Red and Blue mentioned. Was this a prolouge or chapter? Not sure on that. You introduced Green and thats good. It doesn't sound that original yet. I hope you decide to make this different from the anime and game to make this intresting. But this is your first fic so its ok with the whole Oak ordeal. To help you out for when you write chapters make sure they are at least a page or two on word and they are full of description becausde people really like that and they will keep reading. I will keep reading to see how you get better. If ya need any help feel free to im me on aim or pm me ok? Good luck and Keep it up!

[SWAMPERT1]

Originally posted by IloveX-TINA
Ok, I think you have a Idea set up. Its intresting with the names and having Red and Blue mentioned. Was this a prolouge or chapter? Not sure on that. You introduced Green and thats good. It doesn't sound that original yet. I hope you decide to make this different from the anime and game to make this intresting. But this is your first fic so its ok with the whole Oak ordeal. To help you out for when you write chapters make sure they are at least a page or two on word and they are full of description becausde people really like that and they will keep reading. I will keep reading to see how you get better. If ya need any help feel free to im me on aim or pm me ok? Good luck and Keep it up! Thanx and i am goin to keep it faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away from the anime and only the begining is kinda like the game. this was a prologe/chapter and it will be longer. thanx for offering the help

[SWAMPERT1]

This chapter is longer and better than the first. more to come tomorrow.


Green’s Quest CHAPTER1


Sweat was dripping from Green. Sweat was rolling down his nose and palms. He could fell his legs shaking, not from fear but from the excitement. Each step the table, pokeballs and the professor got big from getting closer. Everybody was cheering out his name “GREEN, GREEN, GREEN!” As Green was walking it hit him he’s goining to miss a lot of everything, birthdays, special vacations and much more. But he realized then that he had one destiny, to be the best Pokemon master ever.
Green finally approached the professor. “Why hello there Green are you ready?” Green happily replied with a happy “Yes.” Oak then told Green the three pokemon that could be chosen. There wasCubonehttp://members.lycos.co.uk/pfdex/sprites/rs_pokemon_normal/104.png a ground type, Mareep http://members.lycos.co.uk/pfdex/sprites/rs_pokemon_normal/179.png an electric type and lastly Staryuhttp://members.lycos.co.uk/pfdex/sprites/rs_pokemon_normal/120.png the water type.
There was a long pause, Green was thinking hard about the desigion. After a few minutes he reached out for the red and white pokeball and yelled out “POKEBALL GOOOOOOOO!” Red and white light shunned every were and then it appeared his new pokemon the star shaped pokemon Staryu.
Staryu was an odd but cool looking creature. It was about 2.5’ tall and was a light brown colour with a red pearl in the front, center. Around the pearl was a fine golden lining which shone very nice. After observing this brand new creature Green started to talk to his new friend by saying hi and I hope we can be best of friends. Staryu then did a quick movement and used to of its arms to hug Green. Green then realized that Staryu wanted to be Green’s friend.
As Green was showing his Charmander to Staryu, Oak gave Green a Pokedex. Oak then told Green about the many Pokemon leagues and where to sign up for these leagues. He recommended that Green should go to the Johto league and start his quest there for the gym leaders are the easiest in the world so that would be a good start of Green’s Journey.
In this conversation Red said that he could fly Green to New Bark Town were his quest could begin. Green thought this was a great idea so he got his pokemon in their pokeballs and went outside with Red. Once out side Red called out his Charizard to fly them to their destination. Once out Green got on Charizard with Red and said good-bye to everybody. So Green got on the mighty Charizardhttp://members.lycos.co.uk/pfdex/sprites/rs_pokemon_normal/6.png that Red had realized and then began to fly on the back of the mighty beast (who was also the father of Greens Charmander) and before Green new it, he was in New Bark Town.
After their good-byes Red left Green so Green could start his quest. “Hmmmmmmm, where is the lab?” Then it hit Green he forgot to ask Red were the lab WAS!!! So Green wandered the city for the lab then after about an hour he found lab were his johto journey was about to begin.
Green quickly ran into the lab were Professor Lynx was glued to a computer screen. Green slowly walked up to the Professor and told him about himself and that he wanted to register for the Johto league. Lynx then told Green that He could register at the lab and start his pokemon league journey. Lynx then said he could just register at his computer if Green would give him some data about himself. Green agreed about the info so he could get registered so the questions began.
“What’s your full name?”
“Green Cheese!”
“Sex?”
“Male!”
“Hometown?”
“Pallet Town!”
“Current Pokemon and Lvl?”
“Charmander Lvl.5 and Staryu Lvl.5!”

“Okay Green you are now an official pokemon trainer in the Johto League! I would recommend you go to Violet City for your first badge. If you win your off to a great start on your adventure!
Green toke these words of advise like they were from his parents themselves, and set out for Cherrygrove city were he could sleep for the night.
Quickly Green left the little town and ventured into a nearby route were he had a Spearowhttp://members.lycos.co.uk/pfdex/sprites/rs_pokemon_normal/21.png attack him. Green wasted no time and sent out his Staryu to weaken the tough turkey. Green yelled out Staryus command, “STARYU, TACKLE THE SPEAROW!” Staryu powerfully tackled the spearow and badly weakened it, so much in fact that it had not bin able to attack because of façade. “Now is my chance.” Green thought. He then pulled out a pokeball out of his bag and threw it at the weakened Spearow. In a ray of red the bird went into the ball, tired and curious about its new trainer.
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!, I CAUGHT A SPEAROW”, Green was jumping with joy as he let his new pokemon out of its ball. “Spearooooooow” the mighty pokemon screamed its name. “Hello Spearow!” Green said, “I’m Green and I’m your new trainer, I’m super happy to meet you” After a little chat with his Spearow, Green put it back into his pokeball and made to Cherrygrove just in time, for when he got there the sun was setting.
Green walked into the small city’s pokecenter and got his pokemon healed. After that was done Green went right to the café were he could get some grub. When he got to the café he had a big old snorlax burger and a large Soul Dew Soda. On the way to his room Green realized how long his day was and how much was accomplished. He was tired by all this excitement of this day and fell asleep as soon as he hit his fluffy white pillow.

[DannyBoy]

This is better than the first but, whats with the big 4 banners. It makes it hard 2 read with all that there. You did make this original with him getting Staryu as his starter and then going to Johto. Some of your sentances could be fixed up a bit. You could combine some into one using comas and using other connecting words like and, another, alothough...... If you have word you can right click and and look in the thesaurus for other words. Grammar needs a little work on. Since this is the beginning its ok but you should start to make your chapters at least a page or two on word. I say this once again to help. Also which would help make it longer would be more description in the chapters. You could describe where he is, what he looks like, what others look like, where he is going, what he is feeling, and things like that could def add length into chapters. Also after a paragrpah double space so its clearer to read. But I think you will get better and fix that banner stuff. But this was good with the different starters and where he is going. That makes it different. Keep it up! and I will keep reading to see how you progress!

[Co1]

Originally posted by SWAMPERT1
hey who ever keeps changing my sig to owned, pi$$ off:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: Your sig is changed to owned because LP, the admin, changed it to that, and plans on keeping it like that. Why? Because you broke the rules and your sig was too long, or too wide, or whatever.

Also, you can't seem to add those images or whatever they are, because it seems that you are trying to link us to them from a site that does not want its images used (at least not directly from their website, save them to your computer first). So when you try to post those pictures, all you get is a big banner that says don't steal- it's the websites anti theft device.

Also, that is technically advertising by you, even though unintentional, so you should edit your post or delete it completely until you have things under control.

[SWAMPERT1]

another chapter. its a short one and like 5/10 for goodness but still shows im gettin better at this. there ill be another chapter today or tomorra
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Green’s Quest Chapter 2


As Green awoke from his slumber he felt terrible. Bones were aching, his feet were a sleep and he had a minor headache. As Green laid in his bed he thought that maybe he should start training if he wants to concur Violet City’s gym leader and get his very first badge. It didn’t matter now he had to get some grub for him and his three friends.

Very slowly Green got out of bed. He had not been this tired since he played his Zelda: Wind Waker™ all night without sleep. And to make the day worse it was raining. Finally he got out of his bed, got dressed and went out to get some food at the café. He may of felt terrible but not so terrible that he would not be able to eat.

In the café he went right to the counter and asked for some fruit salad. Once he got it he searched for a table. While searching he found a trainer with a table, so he walked towards the trainer who looked his age and asked politely if he could sit with the trainer? The trainer happily replied with a “Yes.” While Green started to sit the trainer said, “Hi my name is Max.” “What’s your name?” Green told the young trainer his name and they began to talk about each others pokemon. “Pardon me, but I was wondering what pokemon are you carrying with you, Green?” Green replied, “I have charmander lvl.5, Spearow lvl.5 and Staryu at lvl.5. May I ask what pokemon your carrying?” Max then replied with Bulbasaur lvl.5, Phanpy lvl.5 and my last one Pidgey at lvl.5. The two then started to chat about there pokemon when they got them and Green found out also that Max was from Cheerygrove city and had started on the same day as Green.

“Huh!?!, the rain stopped” said Green, “ Now I can start training my pokemon!” Max herd Green say this and asked if Max and his Pokemon could train with Green and his. Green said “Okay, and tonight we can have a battle, 3vs.3.” So Green & Max set out for a brand new adventure, training their pokemon!

As Green & his new friend entered the luscious green field, Green saw many things, Pokemon running freely, flowers of every colour flying in the wind and even a pokemon battle involving two trainers and there rattata’s. “ Wow Green, this is a wonderful place to train our pokemon. Lets get started and meet here tonight at 5 okay.” A smiling Max exclaimed. Green nodded in argents and set out for his training.

It was noon and Green had found a nice spot to eat and train. After he set out his food he released his 3 pokemon. “ Charmander, Staryu, Spearow come on out!” Green yelled.
“CHAR!”
“EROW!”
“STAR!”
Yes, Greens pokemon were out and ready to eat some pokemon food Green had with him in his backpack. When they saw the food they ran like crazy to their bowls and started to chow down on their meals. All three of the little creatures where eating happily until them and their trainer herd the worst sound ever, Max and his pokemon were yelling for help!

[DannyBoy]

Ok, at least you don't have the annoying banners in this one. It is still short. Description is needed in this. Describe where he is, surrounding, what it looks like out side besides its raining, descibe people you are talking to, what they look like, what they wearing, what the buildings look like, and things like that can add length to a story and make it better. But this was a intresting chapter but could have more than wake up, eat, meet some1 and then end it by relasing your pokemon. You could make this really good. I hope I helps some. Keep it up!

[SWAMPERT1]

Heres the next chapter which is the best yet. And there is a special serprise for all of you readers. o and thanx for posting everychapter I-Love_X-tinal
________________________________________
Greens Quest
Chapter~3

“HEEEEEEEEEELP!” Max yelled as he was training, “HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!” Our hero, Green had heard the cries from his newly gained friend, Max in the distance yelling for help. “Spearow, Staryu return!” Green yelled out two red and snow-white pokeballs at the young pokemon. Then a ray of red light traveled from a small opening and absorbed the pokemon into the pokeball. Then in a swift burst, Green put the two pokeballs on his belt, grabbed his prized pokemon charmander and ran towards the yelling. “Charmander you may have to help Max in a pokemon battle if he’s getting attacked by a large pokemon. Charmander then nodded its head in agreeing and Green, holding charmander rushed towards Max.

Charmander was now running with Green through a grassy field, jumping over puddles, roots, rocks and once a long trail of diglett. They knew they were getting closer to Max by the voice getting louder and louder each step they took. The adrenaline was getting bigger each and every foot the team ran. Then they saw Max, but it was not a nice site. Max was on the ground with his Phanpy and pidgey. They were weak, like a newborn baby, not even able to move. Green then saw Bulbasaur, strong as diamond fending of a croconaw and a grovyle as the two pokemon started to attack the weak Max. Then Green saw the two attacking pokemon’s trainers. As Him and Charmander kept getting closer, they yelled at the two trainers who looked like they were from a gang of somesort, “GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU JERKS!” Green yelled this in a furious way and as he was yelling he got to the side of his fallen friend Max. “Charmander, help Bulbasaur kick those pokemons butt. Charmander jumped to Bulbasaurs side and got ready for its first battle.

“Grovyle use quick attack on that pathetic charmander and knock it flying.” The first gang member yelled. Grovyle then started to run full speed at the small Charmander. It came closer and closer each second but at the last moment Green yelled out, “ Charmander dodge and ember it!” Just before Grovyle hit Charmander launched itself between the Grovyles legs and used its flame based ember attack on the grovyles back. Charmander hit Grovyles weak point and made the mighty lizard hit the ground. “NO! NOT GROVYLE!” The first Gangster yelled. “Take them out Croconaw with your water gun technique. Croconaws stomach than began to expand, filling with water until it was full. Then in a mighty blast it shoot its water gun hitting the Bulbasaur sending it flying a good ten feet. This made Bulbasaur very mad and its then released its razorleaf, which shot razor sharp leafs at the foe, and hit the croc head on sending it into the air. While in the hair Charmander hit it with an ember causing the beast to faint. Once both pokemon hit the ground the two gangsters returned their pokemon into there respected pokeball. “Hmmm, you bet our pokemon.” The first gangster said to Green and Max, “ No pokemon has yet to beat us yet. You must of gotten lucky because there is no way such small, un-experienced pokemon could have beaten pokemon of over 100 battles a piece. Its just impossible.” Then the second gangster spook “ Yes my partner is right, you two could not have such small pokemon so strong. But it seems you do so we shall inform the leader of our team, Team Airo, and the rest of our team to watch out for you. So until next time we meet good-bye and remember this, next time we battle the results will be much, MUCH different. Then the men in the long, shadowing robes vanished with smokescreen from a small ball one of the men pulled out of his pocket. “Hmmm? That was weird.” A now standing Max said. Then he held out two pokeballs and returned his two fainted pokemon too their pokeballs and started to talk to Green. “ Thanks for the help Green. If it weren’t for you and Charmander I may have not been standing here right now. I owe it all to y…” Green then stopped because of something that caught there eyes. They looked over towards Charmander and Balbasaur. “What’s going on?” Max started and stated “I, I’m not sure?” What the two young trainers were lookin at was bulbasaurs bulb and charmanders flame, they were glowing like a light bulb! Then slowly the rest of them started to glow. Then their whole body started to glow, the combined
glow being so bright Green and Max had to turn around so their eyes did not hurt then after a minute of worry the glowing stopped. It was so sudden the two trainers could not believe the suddenness. The trainers were about to turn around when they heard a new sound. “CHARMELEON!” “IVYSAURRRRRR!”
Then the two trainers turned around and they saw it, there once small pokemon had evolved from the previous fight!

The two trainers examined their newly evolved pokemon. Greens newly evolved prize pokemon, Charmeleon, was about three feet tall and looked like it was around 50-60 pounds. It had a long tall, two strong arms and two strong legs. It has a flame burning on its tail tip. Its skin was a blood red colour; its claws were a clean snow-white colour which were very sharp. All around this pokemon was a very muscular creature of the flames. When Max looked at his new Ivysaur he noticed that his bulbasaur had not chained much, it had just gotten larger and its bulb had bloomed into a rose like flower which was a reddish-pink colour. Both trainers gave a congrates to there pokemon and returned them to their pokeballs.
It was now 7:00, 30 minutes until sunset. Green and Max talked and decided it would be better to have a battle later and get to the violet city pokemon center, which was only 10 minutes away. So they started running towards the small city called violet.

After a short run the two adventurers were in front of a small white building with the sign [POKE] on it, this was the violet city pokemon center. The two walked in and gave their pokemon to the nurse there. She was 5’8”, had long legs, was blond and had one fine behind. She took the pokemon and said that the pokemon would be fully healed in the morning. So the trainers took to their rooms for a good night sleep.

Green had a hard time going to sleep that night. He could not stop thinking about the pokemon of Max’s and his and how tired they must be. Then in his slumber Green fell asleep.

[DannyBoy]

OK..it was a little longer, I think your started to get he description and length going. Still needs work but your starting to get it. It was cool with Charmander evolving and Bulbasaur evolving. I think your getting the hng of things. I bet your next chapter will be longer and more describbed and you will be one step closer to being really good. Keep it up!

[SWAMPERT1]

Originally posted by IloveX-TINA
OK..it was a little longer, I think your started to get he description and length going. Still needs work but your starting to get it. It was cool with Charmander evolving and Bulbasaur evolving. I think your getting the hng of things. I bet your next chapter will be longer and more describbed and you will be one step closer to being really good. Keep it up!
Thanx for the tips and stuff. As you can see it has gottin my fan-fics better.

[SWAMPERT1]

WOW! a brand new chapter. This is by far my best chapter so far and theres a gym battle:D
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Green’s Quest Chapter 4


It was an early morning for Green at the pokemon center for today he was goining to try and get his first pokemon gym badge so he could be one step closer to be the best pokemon champion in the world. Green was up and about even though it was 7:00am, two ours before the Violet City gym would open were the gym leader. Falkner would be waiting for challenges. Green got very tired of wandering in his room so he went out to the trainer café were he wanted to get some grub to replenish his strength. As Green got into the café he saw Max sitting down and eating a bowl of beedrill O’s. Green then got a bagel and went over to sit with his pal, Max.

“High Max are you battling the gym leader in this town today? I am”

“No not today im going back to my home town to do some training.” A said Max said, “So Green I guess I wont be traveling with you. But don’t worry I’m sure somewhere down the road you and I will meet up again and have a battle.

“Sure, when are you leaving?” a said looking Green said.

“As soon as our pokemon and you and I say our farewells.” “How bought we let our Pokemon out right now and get going on our paths of adventure?”

“Sure let’s go right now.”

So Green and Max headed outside. Each trainer let out there pokemon and the pokemon all came together to chat for a few minutes. After they all chatted the two trainers returned their pokemon to their pokeballs and seperated on the own roads.

As Green headed of towards the pokemon gym he turned his head and saw Max going into a field, the field were Green had saved Max and both of there prized pokemon evolved. Green then turned his head and walked with confidence towards the Violet City gym.

After a short walk Green was infront of a big light tan building with a big pokeball statue with silver wings on it. Green new that this was the pokemon gym and walked in with all the confidence in the world.

Green walked in through the big red door of the gym and saw a man around the age of 20. Green walked up to this man. He was about 5’10”, was a white man and was probably about 140lbs.

“Hello young one I am Falkner the gym leader of this city. Did you come here to try to win a gym badge?” The young man said.

“Yes I have falkner and I plan on getting that badge!” Green said with trust in himself.

“Fine then lets begin, we will each use three pokemon and there is no time limit in this match.” Falkner said.

“Sounds good. Lets begin.” Green said to Falkner.

Then the two trainers took their ends on the field and got ready for the battle. There was a ref who told the rules, Falkner also said and set up the trainers pictures on a big black board. Under their heads (on the board) there was three places were there pokemons pictures would go. Then each trainer sent out their pokemon once the ref. Said go.

Falkner sent out his first pokemon, “Go, Doduo!” A bird, which looked like a brown kiwi bird with two heads, popped out of the red and white pokeball. “Do Duo!” This bird type pokemon was ready for battle and a waited its opponent.

Green thought about using charmeleon but then changed his mind and disided to use it last. “Go….Spearow!!!” Green had decided to fight bird with bird. Green let out his bird pokemon and told it to get ready.

“Doduo attack with head-butt” Doduo then put down its two feathery heads and charged right at Greens spearow. It hit spearow hard and sent the little bird flying.

“Spearow hit that doduo with a wing attack!” Spearow then fly up about 2 feet above the ground and fly right at doduo with its wings spread. It hit the foe Doduo with its right wing. The two-headed bird then hit its trainer, Falkner, and hit the ground, Koed.

“Doduo return!” Falkner held out a pokeball and Doduo was absorbed by a red beam that came from a little button on the pokeball.

“Wow that’s a strong pokemon but its not strong enough.” Falkner said very cocky. “Go, Skarmory!” Falkner then through a pokeball which released a big bird which was covered in steel.

Green then called back spearow and looked at the black board which showed a picture of Greens pokemon so far in use and Falkners pokemon. It also showed that Falkners Doduo had fainted by taking the colour out of the Doduo and leaving its picture black, white and grey. Then after his glance Green threw a pokeball “Staryu come on out!” Greens pokeball hit the ground releasing Greens Starfish pokemon. “Staryu use your water gun on that skarmory!” Then staryu lowered its top point and shot out a burst of water from a hole at the end of the point. The attack hit dead on but the Skarmory didn’t seem hurt. “Son of a basketball player” Green thought in his head “It didn’t work. Green then noticed his foe was giving is steel bird attack commands.

“Skarmory use your steel wing attack!” Skarmorys wings then began to glow and the bird flew right at the Staryu. The skarmorys attack hit staryu in the weak point. Staryu then went fly a cross the field into the dirt that was to the right of Green. Then with all its strength staryu tried to get up but with no success, Staryu had fainted.

“Staryu come back” Green held out a pokeball and Staryu went into it.

“Green it seems that we are now tied with 2 pokemon a piece.” Falkner yelled “This is now getting interesting, I didn’t expect for you to KO even one of my pokemon but you proved me wrong. Now send out your next pokemon and we shall continue our battle.

Green then grabbed his pokeball containing Charmeleon and thru it, “Go charmeleon!!!” Green then released his prize pokemon and gave it its first orders. “Charmeleon use your firespin attack!” Charmeleon then inhaled and exhaled releasing a tornado shaped flame hitting the skarmory and surrounding it in flame. The flame soon came close enough to hit skarmory and K0ed the steel creature.

Falkner retearned his skarmory sadly and sent out his final hope, His well trained Pidgeot. The mighty pokemon was released and gave a mighty yelp that was an obvious battle cry. “Green this battle is ending now. “There is no way your two remaining pokemon can beat my bird of prey so lets battle NOW!” “Pidgeot use your sky attack Pidgeot then started to glow and fastly started going headfirst into the weakened Charmeleon. The attack hit sending the Charmeleon flying into the stadium wall behind Green.

“Charmeleon retearn buddy, you did a great job!” Charmeleon then got retearned to the pokeball. Green then held out a pokeball containing spearow, Greens last hope. “Spearow its your turn again!” Green sent out his already battled spearow and told it its command. “Spearow use your doubleteam attack!” Spearow then started making copys of it and started flying around its foe.
“Pidgeot you wont see it like this so close your eyes and use double-edge on the spot were the sound keeps coming from” Pidgeot then closed its eyes and attacked the spearows copys and hit the real spearow. Spearow went fly and hit the dirt. Then it started to glow, not like Pidgeots skyattack glow but like an evolution glow! To Greens surprise it started to grow while glowing. IT WAS EVOLVING! Then out of no where the glowing stopped and revealed the newly evolved pokemon Fearow. The pokemon was big; it has a large eagle body, a long neck and has a head similar to skarmory. The pokemon was covered in brown feathers.

“Wow Fearow you evolved” Green said happily. “Use Drill Peck attack you can use now on that pidgeot and send it flying!” Fearows beak then started to spin and the bird went flying for Pidgeot. It hit head on sending Pidgeot to the ground fainted.

The ref the yelled “All of Falkners pokemon have fainted, Green is the winner of the match!” Each trainer brought back their pokemon and put back their pokemon on their belt. Before Green returned his pokemon he said thank you for beating Pidgeot and congrates for evolving. Green and Falkner then met in the center of the gym and green was given the Zephyr badge and was personally congratulated by Falkner himself.

“Good job Green. You and your pokemon overpowered my pokemon and I and you all deserve the victory. So congratulation and don’t forget to come back for another battle” A happy Falkner said.

Green had just finished pining his badge to his backpack and replied to what the bird master said, “Thanx for the battle chance Falkner, it was appreciated.”

Falkner then gave Green a TM that could teach a pokemon the attack, Sky Attack, which Green gave right away to Fearow that could benefit from Sky Attack.

Green then walked out of the gym with a smile from ear to ear and then started to walk towards the pokemon center for a well-earned nap.
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That all hope you like it:wave:

[DannyBoy]

Well ok it is getting better. First the gym battle was way to short. It is strange for a Spearow to knock out a Dodou in one hit, I can see it attacking it for a bit and fainting it but not just a wing attack. Spearow evolved wat to fast in this. I could maybe seeing it evolve before the 3rd badge. I can see the Scarmory battle with Charlelon realistic becuase of fire. A newly evolved Spearow beating a Pidgeot once again not that belevable. Sorry but its hard to see that all happening in the 4th chapter. Take your time with evolvotions and strong pokemon already. I could see Dodouand Pidgeotto maybe a Pidgey instead but its your fic. If you made the battle longer the length would be longer. You are getting good with description though. Keep it up!

[SWAMPERT1]

Originally posted by IloveX-TINA
Well ok it is getting better. First the gym battle was way to short. It is strange for a Spearow to knock out a Dodou in one hit, I can see it attacking it for a bit and fainting it but not just a wing attack. Spearow evolved wat to fast in this. I could maybe seeing it evolve before the 3rd badge. I can see the Scarmory battle with Charlelon realistic becuase of fire. A newly evolved Spearow beating a Pidgeot once again not that belevable. Sorry but its hard to see that all happening in the 4th chapter. Take your time with evolvotions and strong pokemon already. I could see Dodouand Pidgeotto maybe a Pidgey instead but its your fic. If you made the battle longer the length would be longer. You are getting good with description though. Keep it up!
Thank-u for the tips. The reason i had Spearow evolve is because i hate spearow. but dont worry in the next chapters comin up green will catch pokemon and thell evolve not so fast. Maybe catch Nidoran Female in next chapter, im still planning bu leaning towards her.

[Mikey]

This is a decent fic for your first try. The chapters are a little short and you could have way more description. The battles are also on the short side. I agree with X-tina on this, Fearow evolved way to fast. Falkner has been training his Pokemon for years and it's hard to believe that a newly caught Spearow could take a Dodou out in one hit, and yet a Pidgeot can't take Spearow out in one. Also, a newly evolved Fearow doesn't seem likely that early, and it beating a Pidgeot that has been trained for a while seems even less likely. Though I still stress that this is your first fic and your trying. Take my comments in mind, if you want read my fic and get a bit of tips:P Good fic for your first, keep it up!:yes:

[SWAMPERT1]

thanx for the tips you two. there should be another, BETTER, chapter around monday or tuesday cause im goin on a trip tomora

[Darien Shields]

I really should read the whole fic before I comment, but this really has to be said...

Green's a Giiiiiirl! So sez "Pokemon Adventures" the best Pokemon Manga in a long while.

[SWAMPERT1]

Originally posted by Darien Shields
I really should read the whole fic before I comment, but this really has to be said...

Green's a Giiiiiirl! So sez "Pokemon Adventures" the best Pokemon Manga in a long while. i know who the REAL green is but this is not the same green. And your right about the manga being the best pogeymon one

[SWAMPERT1]

Guess what everybody, theres a brand new chapter. This one is,i think, the best one as of yet.

__________________________


Greens Quest Chapter 5



Green was lying on his bed after a nap he took after his gym battle with Falkner, the gym leader of Violet City. Green was thinking of the battle he had as the wind from an open window in Greens room swayed through Greens Dirty blond hair. Green looked at a clock in his room and it was 2:00pm time for him to leave to continue his journey. Then Green got up grabbed his stuff and headed out of the pokemon center were he was staying.

Green walked out, and took start towards route 32 were he had to go to get to Azalea town were he could win his next gym badge. On the way to the route Green passed a pokemon trainer school and even a tower dedicated to the grass pokemon, bellsprout. Green also passed a mart, the local gym and a crazy teacher named Earl.

After a short walk Green got to route 32 were he saw pokemon, trainers and in the distance there was a clear lake. Green had just taken a step into the route when something small and purple ran right into his leg. It was a small blue creature with small poisonous barbs on its back and had a few dark blue spots on it. It also had a horn on its head used for defense. Green recognized this creature; it was a nidoran male. But this one was odd it was blue.

This nidoran was not running for fun though, it was running from something that was obviously scaring it then Green looked in the direction nidoran was looking and found a growlithe, a beedrill and a mankey charging towards the poor creature. Green thought quickly and grabbed a pokeball. He tossed and let out his prize Charmeleon.

“CHARMELEON! FIRE SPIN!” The red lizard then inhaled and released a pyro tornado at the three pokemon and hitting them dead on. As this was happening Green saw something like a bright white light in the corner of his eye but just took it as the bright sun. The attack was so powerful that it sent the three pokemon into the bush running.

“Charmeleon return!” Green held out his pokeball and returned charmeleon. Then Green looked were the nidoran was and he saw it was gone and in its place there was one of Greens pokeballs. Green picked the ball up and pressed the button on it only to find out that nidoran was in the POKEBALL! Green was shocked that nidoran had gotten into the pokeball free willing. He then talked to nidoran.

“Nidoran I see you went inside the pokeball.” Green said surprised. “Um I was wondering would you like to join me on my pokemon journey?” Green question. Nidoran then nodded his head and returned itself to the pokeball by pushing the button.

With a smile from ear to ear Green picked up his new pokemon filled pokeball and set out further on the route.

“Umm excuse me kid would you like a pokemon battle with me?” Said a girl who was redheaded, looked to be 16, well developed, stood about 5’9, wore a plaid short skirt and a white blouse.

“Sure ill have a battle.” Green told the young woman. “How many pokemon shall we each use?”

“Well I only have 3 pokemon but you can use as many as you want if you have more.”

Green new that he had an advantage because he had one more pokemon than his opponent. Green than grabbed a pokeball and released his first pokemon. “GO FEAROW!” Green yelled this while tossing a red and white pokeball. “FEAROOOOOOOOOOOW” the mighty bird screamed.

“Hmm, a fearow.” The young woman said “Well that’s no match for my electric type magnemite!” She then threw a pokeball that released a small pokemon that was round, made of metal, had a magnet on each side of it and had one bid glaring eye smack dab on its front.

“Now lets get this party started!”

“Magnemite! Use a Shock Wave on that Fearow!” Magnemite then started to have lightning charge between its magnet heads and then after a second of charging the magnets started to glow and released two big bolts of lightning directly at the Fearow. Both hit Fearow dead on and weakened it dramatically. “Seems that Fearow isn’t as tough as the sound of its scream!” The girl yelled. Green didn’t find this funny and gave his Fearow a command.

“FEAROW! Use one of your Drill Pecks!” Fearow’s beck then started to spin faster than it could fly and it charged headfirst towards Magnemite. But, Then at the very last second the magnemite dodged Fearow’s attack. Thinking fast Green yelled “Fearow do a backward loop and hit Magnemite from above!” Fearow did this and sure enough Fearow hit the metal ball. Magnemite then hit the ground but slowly got back up.

“Wow kid that Fearow of yours is strong but not strong enough!” The girl yelled to Green

“MAGNEMITE, USE A THUNDERBOLT ATTACK!” Magnemites magnets then began to charge until finally they were full. Then Magnemite once again released two electric lightning bolts at Fearow.

“Fearow dodge with agility!” Green commanded. Then right before the bolts hit Fearow dodged it at super high speeds. “Good, now Fearow get behind Magnemite and use a wing attack.” Fearow then got behind Magnemite so fast the creature didn’t see it pass. Fearow then raised a wing and smacked Magnemit right into the dirt. Somehow the Magnimite got up and was ready to battle to its last drop of will to fight.

The Magnemite was unable to stay in one spot, as it was weak from the attacks inflicted on it. Both trainers could tell it was going to end in the next turn or so for the ball of metal and Magnemites trainer gave Magnemite the orders.

“Magnemite use a thunderbolt attack on Fearow.” Magnemite then started to charge energy for its attack. Then, right before Magnemite attacked it fell to ground, fainted.

“What just happened?” Green asked.

“Magnemite must have worn itself out while charging its energy.” The girl then returned Magnemite into its pokeball. “You did well Magnemite” The girl then grabbed a pokeball and released hear second pokemon, a Totodile. Totodile was a small pokemon that looked like a tiny blue alligator with a yellow stripe across its belly.

“Totodile use a watergun attack” Then a blast of water came rushing out of totodiles mouth and straight towards Fearow. The mighty blast hit Fearow sending the bird to the ground.

“Fearow get up!” Green called out to his bird. Green could tell that his Fearow had fainted and recalled it. Green heeled out Fearows pokeball and a red beam shot towards Fearow and absorbed the fainted bird into the ball. “Good job Fearow, you did well.”

Green then grabbed a fresh ball and tossed out his next pokemon, his water pokemon Staryu.

“Staryu use your rapid-spin attack!” Staryu then started to hover above the ground and started to spin fast in a circle. Then Staryu shot towards totdile, scratching it badly.

“No Totodile!” The girl called. The Totodile had smacked right into a try after getting hit and received extra damage besides the scratches from staryus rapid-spin. But Totodile got right back up and was once again rearing to go.

“All right Totodile lets strike back with a bite attack!” Totodile then bit Staryu right in the red sphere in the center of it causing the sphere to brake and make Staryu lose all of its capability to move.

“All right Totodile, Staryu is immobilized so lets finish it of with a slash attack!” Totodile clause extended right before the Staryu was struck. Then with a right arm swing, Totodile sent Staryu flying and hitting the ground hard.

“Return Staryu.” Green then recalled Stary.

“Wow that Totodile sure is strong.” Green said sadly to his rival. “Oh well lets continue.” Green grabbed the pokeball contaning charmeleon and tossed it.

“Go! Charmeleon!” Green sent out his prized pokemon and gave it its command.

“Charmeleon! Flamethrower!” Charmeleon then shot a stream of Fire out of hits mouth directly at Totodile. The attack hit and after the flames were gone Totodile was on the ground with its eyes closed, fainted.

“Totdile return.” The girl called out. “Very good kid but now its time to bring out the big guns!” “Go! Swablu!” The girl tossed a pokeball and revealed a Pokemon that looked like a blue ball with clouds for wings. “Meet my Swablu kid. This is the creature that WILL take u out.”

“That doesn’t scare me!” Green yelled. “Charmeleon use a flamethrower attack.” Once again Charmeleon inhaled and exhaled a long stream of fire and hit Swablu, knocking it into a nearby bush.

“Swablu get up!” Their girl said worried. Then the bush started to wiggle and Swablu came out.

“Swablu hit the overgrown lizard with a dragonbreath attack.” Swablu then released a green flame at Charmeleon and hit the lizard right in the belly, winding charmeleon for a second.

“Charmeleon use another flamethrower!” Once again Charmeleon hit Swablu with a flamethrower sending it into another bush. Swablu once again got up and took its command.

“Swablu use Toxic!” Swablu released a purple ooze like substance that hit charmeleon but didn’t seem to cause damage.

“Kid I know what you’re thinking by the smirk on your face, That attack did nothing, but you’ll see what it does in a few turns.” The girl said with a smirk.

“Now Swablu use a Detect attack.” Then an unbreakable, see-through wall appeared in front of Swablu. Green new what this attack was and disided not to attack for nothing could hit Swablu now.

“Hmm you decided not to attack eh? Oh well I guess that was a smart move for such a young kid.”

“Now Swablu use take down!” Swablu began to charge right towards Charmeleon. Swablu hit full force sending Charmeleon to the ground.

“Charmeleon get up!” Charmeleon got up slowly. “Now use flamethrower!” Charmeleon started to inhale but right before he attacked it fainted?!?

“What the hell?” Green said loudly

“Ah, the poison worked on Charmeleon finally”

“Poison?” Green asked

“Yes, You see poison gradually weakens a pokemons health until it gets to weak and faints.”

“Owwwww, I seeeeee now.” Green replied. “Charmeleon return!” Green then picked out his last pokeball and threw it.

“Nidoran, I choose you!” Greens pokeball hit the ground revealing his brand new Nidoran.

“Wow kid, that Nidoran of yours is……. A shiny.”

“What you talkin about miss.”

“A shiny is a rare pokemon that has a non-normal colour.”

“Owww, cool well I guess I just got lucky for finding him.” Green said with a smile. “Lets see if this shorty can do big things”

“Nidoran use a Horn attack” Nidoran then jabbed its horn right into the Swablu.

“No! Swablu!” Swablu had been jabbed so hard it had a 4” gash on its belly area. The swablu was on the ground unable to move for it had no more will to fight. Green had won the match.

Both trainers then returned their pokemon and started talking.

“Hey kid that was a good match.” The girl said to Green. “My name is Maddi what is yours may I ask?”

“My name is Green, and I’m on the pokemon league challenges.”

“Wow so you’ll be traveling around the world?” Maddi said curiously.

“Yes I will, why do you ask?”

“Well I want to see the world and collect and train every type of pokemon so, I was wondering, could I come with you on your journey?”

“Sure come on lets get a move on for Azalea town.” Green said. “It will take a life time but I know we can complete our goals, make new friends and catch hundreds of pokemon if we believe in ourselves.

So Green and Maddi set out for their brand new adventure.

[DannyBoy]

That was a good battle chapter. I can see that you have improved, especially on length and that is good. Your description is getting better to. Still need some on description of places but the battle was good. I am impressed, Keep it up!

[SWAMPERT1]

Thank you so much and im glad you enjoyed it. I wouldnt of been able to right such a good chapter without your tips so thank u X-tina. and i shall make this promise to u that i will never eva make a bad chapter.

[Tainted]

Wow, this has got to be one of THE biggest improvements so far from chapter one to chapter five...
I have to say, I'm impressed at how much you've improved. However, there are a few major things you can still fix and I'll try to be nice about them...:
-Description. Description can make or break a fic depending on how it was used, lets take the first sentence of chapter five for example.

Your Insert: Green was lying on his bed after a nap he took after his gym battle with Falkner, the gym leader of Violet City.

Mine: Green laid humbly on his bed, still weary from the nap he had just taken after a long, harsh battle with Falkner, who just happened to be the gym leader of Violet City.

Also, describe sceneries and such. If Green enters a room try to go into as MUCH DETAIL as possible. Sure, it doesn't seem necessary, and hell, it isn't necessary but it draws the reader in that much more. If its snowing outside describe whats laden with snow, where the snow is dripping off of buildings. All you need to do is close your eyes and picture the place that Green is in then write down all that you see. If you go into enough detail, the reader will be able to see just what you want them to see, which is a key point to the art of writing.

Another major thing that can make a plotless story amazing is character development. Your character green has to have some background, more emotions, you should tell us what hes feeling about things. You have to establish such a character that if he dies we'll actually feel sorry for him. And hell, if you can do that AND add in a lot of description, hell, I'll be hooked.

I have seen very few amount of stories that can hook me that well, but if you work on it, and you get me, I'll have to pat you on the back.
I'll keep reading.

The mind of a thirteen year old critic,
Zak Hunter

[Mikey]

That was an ok chapter. Personally, I still believe the Violet gym was the best even with all the unbelievable things. You have improved slightly, still problems in spelling and punctuation. The description is better, however it seemed way to easy to catch a shiny. They are supposed to be special and rare, but this one was way to easily introduced. Anyways, good chapter. Keep it up.:yes:

[SWAMPERT1]

thank u all for reading. there will be a new chapter on sat. if been busy with school and such so.....see ya!