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mr_pikachu
1st December 2003, 10:11 PM
This was a nice opening chapter. We don't know very much about any of the characters, though. Descriptions are always nice, and remember to add commas where there are natural breaks in sentences. Other than that, you seem to be doing alright. I'll look forward to Chapter 2!

Mystic_clown
3rd December 2003, 02:12 AM
Thanks for the feeback

Chapter 2: The Lone Ranger

A chill went down Sora’s spine. There was something about this guy that just creeped him out.
“So are you ready to loose?” Vincent asked.
“First take off your hood,” Sora demanded. Vincent nodded.
“Fine.” Vincent pulled his hood back. He had long, black hair, dark brown eyes and wore a bandana.
“Now that you’ve seen my face,” Vincent said, “It’s time to duel!”
Sora: 4000
Vincent: 4000
A sharp wind blew, which was weird since they were inside. Sora noticed he was wearing a red outfit, but the main thing that caught his attention was the revolver hanging from his waist.
“I’ll start this duel,” Vincent said, drawing a card, “I play two cards face down and one monster in defense mode. The hologram of three face down cards appeared.
“Your turn,” Vincent said. Sora drew a card. I’ll also play a monster in defense mode and end my turn.” Vincent drew his card and smiled.
“Now I’ll play, Milus Radiant in attack. mode!” A strange, cat-like creature appeared. A confused look appeared on Sora’s face.
“Why play that card?” he asked, “It’s only got 300 attack points.”
“Not really,” Vincent said in a sly voice, “Because you see, as long a Milus Radiant is on the field, all earth type monsters gain a 500 attack points. That includes Milus Radiant.” Sora watched as Milus Radiant’s attack was raised to 800.
“Your turn,” Vincent said. Sora drew another card. He smiled.
“I play two cards face down, and now I summon the Feral Imp in attack mode!” The feral imp appeared and hissed at Vincent.
“Now my Feral Imp! Attack Milus Radiant!”
“Not so fast!” said Vincent, “Reveal face down card! Negate Attack.” With a swirl of magical energy, Sora’s attack was blocked.
“It’s my move now,” Vincent said, drawing a card, “And now I’ll play Heavy Storm!”
“Heavy Storm?” Sora said, “What’s that do?” Vincent laughed.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know what this does! Well it destroys all magic and trap cards on the field!” Sora gasped. A cyclone appeared and sent all of Sora and Vincent’s magic cards flying.
“I’ve got nothing to protect me!” Sora cried. Vincent began to laugh even louder.
“That’s not all I did. By playing Heavy Storm I activated my trap card! Dark Coffin!” A old looking coffin appeared. There seemed to be something inside.
“Dark Coffin!” Sora said, surprised, “What’s that?”
“Allow me to explain,” Vincent said, “When Dark Coffin is destroyed when face down, you’re forced to make a choice. Either you send one card from your hand to the graveyard, or you send one of your monsters to the graveyard. Now choose!” Sora looked at his hand and sighed.
“All the cards in my hand are too important to give up. I guess I’ll have to give up a monster” Sora thought.
“I choose to send the Feral Imp to the graveyard!” Sora said. A black thing shot out of the coffin and dragged the feral imp into it.
“And now,” Vincent said, “I’ll play Oni Tank T34 in attack mode!” A gruesome looking tank appeared.
“And because Milus Radiant’s on the field, my tank’s attack is raised to 1900. Now attack his face down card!!” Oni Tank fired at Sora’s card. But Vincent was surprised when Sora smiled.
“Bad move,” Sora said. The hologram of the Mystical Elf appeared.
“A Mystical Elf!?” Vincent snarled.
“That’s right. And because it’s defense is 2000, it’s 100 poits stronger then your tank. Sorry, but you loose 100 lifepoints!”
Sora: 4000
Vincent: 3900
“My turn,” Sora said drawing, “I’ll play one card face down and I’ll summon the Celtic Guardian in attack mode!” Sora’s Elvin swordsman appeared and brandished its sword.
“and because of your own card, Celtic Guardian’s attack is raised to 1900. Now attack Vincent’s face down card my swordsman!” Sora’s monster swung his sword, only to be blocked by a large creature of stone.
“Too bad,” Vincent said, “But you attacked my Giant Soldier of Stone. Looks like it’s your turn to loose lifepoints.”
Sora: 3900
Vincent:3900
“It’s my move now!” Vincent said, drawing his card. A wide grins spread across his face.
“And now its time to summon one of my most powerful monsters! I sacrifice my Oni Tank and Giant Soldier of stone to summon, the Gun Slinging Drifter!” Oni Tank and the Soldier of Stone broke into many pieces and a cowboy wielding a bayonet appeared.
“It’s only got 500 attack points!” Sora cried, trying not to laugh, “You call that powerful.” Vincent smiled.
“Yes. Because when summoned, its attack is raised by half of the attack of the monsters sacrificed to summon it! And since my two monsters were powered up by Milus Radiant, my monster gains 1850 attack points! Raising its attack to 2350! And don’t forget Milus Radiant, who gives it another 500!” Vincent’s gunslinger now had 2850 attack! Sora gulped. He knew this wouldn’t be good.
“Now my gunslinger! Attack his Celtic Guardian!” Vincent’s drifter took aim.
“Hold it right there Vincent!” Sora cried, “reveal my face down card! Wobaku!” The three maidens of Wobaku appeared, blocking the drifter’s attack.
“I’m not worried,” Vincent said, his smile broadening, “I’ll just destroy it next turn!”
“In the mean time it’s my turn.,” Sora said, drawing. He sighed.
“This card can’t help me.” He thought
I’ll play one monster in defense mode and now I’ll switch my Celtic Guardian to defense mode. You’re turn.” Vincent drew his card and laughed.
“If you think things are bad now, things are going to get worse! I play my second Milus Radiant! Powering my gunslinger by another 500!” Vincent’s drifter’s attack was now 3350.
“Now I’ll play the magic card Fairy Meteor Crush! Which will allow my monster to damage your lifepoints even if your monster’s in defense mode!
“Oh no!!” Sora cried.
“ Now my gunslinger, attack his Celtic Guardian!” With one shot, Vincent’s monster slew the swordsman. Sora groaned.
Sora: 1550
Vincent: 3900
“There’s no way I can beat this guy! I am as well forfeit!” He thought.
Sora was about to place his hand over his deck when suddenly…
“Don’t you even think of giving up!” Vincent growled, “I didn’t enter this tournament just to win by submission! I want to be you with my own strength! Now draw!” Sora drew his card and smiled.
“Yes!!!”
“I now sacrifice my two monsters!” Sora cried, “to summon, the Emperor Magician!” Both of Sora’s card vanished and was replaced with the Emperor Magician.
“Your card may be strong,” Vincent said, “But mine’s still stronger.” Sora smiled.
“Oh really? Take a look at your Gunslinger.” Vincent looked and gasped. His gunslingers attack had been reduced to it’s original 500!
“What happened!?” Vincent cried. Sora laughed.
“My Emperor Magician’s effect. It cancels out all other effects, including your gunslingers!”
“OH NO!!!”
“Oh yes! Now I equip to my magician Magic Formula! This will raise its attack to 3000!” A book appeared and the magician began reading it.
“Now my Emperor Magician! Attack Vincent’s gunslinger!” With one mighty blast of magic, Vincent’s gunslinger was no more.
Sora: 1550
Vincent: 1400
Vincent drew his card and sighed.
“I’ll switch my two cards to defense mode.” Vincent’s Milus Radiants curled up.
“Your turn.” Sora drew his card.
“Now I play, stop defense! This will put one of your monsters in attack mode, and I choose you Milus Radiant!”
“No!!!” Vincent cried.
“Now my Emperor Magician! Attack!!” The magician blasted Vincent’s Milus Radiant to dust, as well as his lifepoints.
Sora: 1550
Vincent: 0
“The duel is over!” the announcer called, “The winner is, Sora Jeremiah!!”
“Good duel Sora,” Vincent said, shaking Sora’s hand, “Let’s duel again sometime.” Sora smiled.
“I’m looking forward to it.” Suddenly.
“THERE YOU ARE!!”
“Oh no! It’s Cassandra!”

Meanwhile…
A masked man sat at a desk, looking through his deck. A man in a uniform entered.
“Master, the Regional Finals have just finished. The winner was a boy named Sora Jeremiah.” The man smiled underneath his mask.
“Excellent.”

Next: Chapter 3: the Chase Begins

Name: Gun Slinging Drifter
Level: 7
Attack: 500
Defense: 2000
Type: Worrier/effect
Attribute: Earth
Picture: A cowboy holding a large bayonet. He looks like he’s going to shoot at something.
Description: A cowboy who’s skilled at the bayonet. This guy never misses and always accepts help.
Effect: When summoned, this monsters attack is raised by half of the total attack of the monsters sacrificed to summon it.

Zee Sage
3rd December 2003, 02:08 PM
nice but there is one minor mistake:

The last two times you put Sora's life points you said it was 3900 but Sora's real life points was 1550 because of Gunslinger's attack.

Anyway awesome story cant wait for the next chapter.

Mystic_clown
3rd December 2003, 04:17 PM
*Looks up*
Yikes! You're right! I'll change it right away! Thanks.

mr_pikachu
3rd December 2003, 10:53 PM
Not bad. The main thing I would recommend is adding some character development in addition to the plot twists and duels. That way, we can see how the characters change as the fic moves along, and thereby become better acquainted and more interested in them. Everything else looked fine. I'll be waiting for the next chapter! :wave:

Mystic_clown
5th December 2003, 04:06 AM
Chapter 3: The Chase Begins

“Please have mercy,” Sora said, trying to dodge the brooms as Cassandra swung it at him.
“You ran out on cleaning duty and now you have to pay!” she growled, taking another swing with the broom. Sora ran into a nearby ally to get away from Cassandra, only to bump into someone. He looked up to see a man staring down at him. He was tall, seemed bald, wore a rabbi’s outfit, a rabbi’s hat and dark glasses. He smiled.
“Greetings,” he said in an oily voice, “Your Sora Jeremiah I presume.”
“Yeah,” Sora replied, “That’s right.”
“I found you Sora!” snarled Cassandra as she walked into the ally. She then looked over at the guy.
“Who’s he?”
“Oh where are my manners?” the guy said, “my name is Chapel Evergreen, and I was very impressed with your victory in the regional finals.”
“Really?” Sora said.
“Yes. We were so impressed that we would like you to join us.” A confused look appeared on Sora’s face.
“Who’s we?”
“Us,” said a voice. Sora looked to see two guys in black coats step out of the shadows.
“We really want you to join our organization,” Chapel said, holding out his hand, “So if you would just come with us…”
“What if I said no,” Sora said, crossing his arms. A wicked smile spread across Chapel’s face.
“I’m afraid I must, insist.” Suddenly, one of the guys in black grabbed Sora from behind. The second grabbed Cassandra.
“Let me go!” Sora growled, trying to wriggle out of his hold.
“Let me go please!” Cassandra cried. All of a sudden, a gun went off and one of the guys jumped, dropping Sora.
“Who’s that?” Chapel growled. Sora looked to see someone standing at the end of the ally.
“Vincent?” Sora said. He smiled.
“Who were you expecting,” Vincent said, “the Easter Bunny?”
“This is really none of your business!” Chapel growled.
“Oh yeah it is!” Vincent took aim and fired a few more shots from his revolver. Chapel and the other two guys dived to the floor to dodge the shots.
“Come on you two!” Vincent called, “Let’s go!” Sora and Cassandra quickly got to their feet and ran after Vincent.
“After them!” Chapel cried, as his two cronies went after them. Chapel then pulled a mobile out of his pocket and dialed.
“What is it,” said the voice on the other end.
“It’s Chapel sir,” Chapel said in a nervous voice, “We found Sora, but he’s gotten away.”
“What!? Then go after him you fool!”
“Yes sir.” Chapel put away his mobile and ran off in search of Sora.

A few minutes later…
Vincent led Sora and Cassandra into his hotel room.
“You live here?” Cassandra asked.
“I don’t really live anywhere,” Vincent replied, “I’m just staying here for a few weeks. You’ll be able to hide out here for a while. I’ll just call your parents.” Vincent went off to the phone while Sora slumped down on the couch.
“So who were those guys?” Cassandra asked.
“I don’t know,” Sora replied, “But they seemed interested in me because I won the regional finals.” Vincent re-entered the room.
“I called your parents. They said it would be okay as long as I watched out for you.” He then walked over to Sora.
“So what did those guys want?”
“They wanted me to join them. They said they were impressed with me winning the finals.”
“So if I won, they would have come to me instead of you.”
“Maybe.” Vincent thought for a second.
“Hey Sora,” he said, “an I looked at that card of yours? Emperor Magician wasn’t it?”
“Okay.” Sora handed Vincent the card. Vincent stared at it for a few minutes.
“I heard something about this card a while back,” Vincent thought, “But what was it? I know it involved another card.”
“Uh Vincent,” Sora said, “Can have my card back?”
“Oh yeah sure.” Vincent handed back the card.
“Vincent,” Sora asked, “Why did you help us anyway?”
“Well, after our duel, I thought about my dueling tactics. I figured that if I got to know you better, I may be able to figure out how you defeated me.”
“Well that’s easy,” Sora replied, “I beat you because I played the Emperor Magician.”
“It’s not that. I saw that look on your face when you drew that card. You seemed to draw it when you need it the most. I want to find out how you do it.” Sora nodded, even though he had no clue what Vincent was talking about.
“Well anyway,” Vincent said, walking over to the fridge, “Anyone want a drink?”
“Yes please!” replied Cassandra. Vincent tossed her a soda and opened one for himself. Suddenly, they were was a thud at the door and it swung open to reveal Chapel and his goons standing at the entrance.
“So we meet again Sora,” Chapel said, smiling. Vincent pulled out his gun and aimed at Chapel.
“Now, now mister Clive. I don’t want any trouble. I’ve just got a proposition for Sora.”
“What?” Sora asked, glaring at Chapel.
“I challenge you to a duel. If you win, I’ll leave you alone. If I win, you join us.” Sora thought for a few seconds.
“Okay,” he finally said, “you’re on!” Chapel’s smiled grew wider.
“Excellent. We’ll have our duel in the hotel lobby.” Chapel turned to leave the room.
“If you would follow me,” Chapel said. Sora picked up his deck and followed Chapel.

Next: Chapter 4: The power of the Rabbi.

Sorry it was so short. The next one will be better, I swear!

mr_pikachu
6th December 2003, 10:30 PM
Not too bad, though there were a lot of typos. It's good to see a Yu-Gi-Oh fic that isn't all duel, duel, duel. It seems that Vincent may be looking out for Sora now... but is there more to it than meets the eye? We shall see...

Anyway, nice chapter. Just watch the typos, and you should be alright. (They should be fairly easy to spot and edit if you skim through the chapter again.) Fic writing becomes a lot easier (and better) when you take the time to edit your work. Okay, maybe not easier, but it does give people greater respect for your writing. And that's a fact. ;)

Mystic_clown
7th December 2003, 02:55 PM
Thanks Mr P. Well It's about time I gace you another duel, so here goes.

Chapter 4: The power of the Rabbi

Sora followed Chapel down to the hotel lobby, holding his deck in his hand. They finally reached the bottom of the stairs and were at the lobby. Chapel walked over to one end while Sora stayed at another. Sora slipped on his duel disk and Chapel did the same.
“Are you prepared to loose it all Sora?” Chapel said, laughing softly.
“No because I’m not going to loose,” Sora replied. A bunch of people had already gathered, wanting to know what was going on.
“Be careful Sora!” Vincent called, “This guy may look weak, but he must be strong if he challenged you.” Chapel smiled.
“You’re right Vincent,” he replied, “I am strong, and I’ll beat Sora into the ground to prove it.”
“Let’s start the duel already!” Sora said.
Sora: 4000
Chapel: 4000
“I’ll start,” Chapel said, drawing a card, “And I’ll play this card in defense mode.” The hologram of a face down card appeared.
“That ends my turn,” Chapel said. Sora drew and smiled.
“I’ll now play the Man-Eating Treasure Chest! In attack mode!” The hologram of a chest appeared and opened its mouth, revealing a row of razor sharp teeth.
“Now my treasure chest! Destroy his face down card!” The chest took a bite at the card and the figure of an Unknown Worrier of Fiend appeared for a few seconds, before exploding to dust. Sora smiled.
“That ends my turn.” Chapel drew his next card.
“I’ll play another card in defense as well as two card face down and end my turn.” Sora drew.
“I guess I’ll have to destroy that card,” he said, “Because I sacrifice my Treasure Chest to summon the Amphibian Beast! In attack mode!” A green, frog-like beast appeared.
“Now attack his face down card!” The Amphibian Beast prepared to strike.
“Not so fast!” Chapel said smiling, “reveal face down card! Magic Cylinder!”
“Not magic Cylinder!” Sora cried.
“Hey Vincent,” Cassandra said, “What does Magic Cylinder do?”
“It will take Sora’s attack and throw it right back at his life points.” Cassandra gasped. The Amphibian Beast dived through one cylinder and out the other, only to attack Sora. Sora stumbled back.
Sora: 1600
Chapel: 4000
Chapel laughed.
“If you’re done I’ll make my move!” he said, drawing, “and now I’ll play Premature Burial!”
“What does that do?” Sora asked.
“Premature Burial allows me to take back one monster from my graveyard and put it on the field in attack mode, for a cost of 800 life points of course.”
Sora: 1600
Chapel: 3200
“And I choose to bring back my Unknown Worrier of Fiend!” Chapel’s worrier leaped from the ground and reappeared on the field. Chapel then pulled a card out from his hand.
“And now I’ll sacrifice my two monsters to summon my ultimate fiend! I summon Zoa!!” Chapel’s two monsters vanished and were replaced with the terrifying figure of Chapel’s Zoa.
“That thing’s huge!” Cassandra cried.
“Be careful Sora!” Vincent called.
“You can support him all you want, it won’t work! Because now Zoa, destroy the Amphibian Beast!” With one slash, Sora’s beast was destroyed.
Sora: 1400
Chapel: 3200.
Sora drew his card and a smile appeared on his face.
“What are you smiling about?” Chapel asked.
“I’m smiling because this cards going to save my butt,” Sora replied, “I play Dark Door!” The image of Sora’s card appeared.
“This card let’s attack only one per turn. And now I’ll play one card face down. Your turn.” Chapel drew his card.
“you Dark Door card won’t help. For now I play, the Ancient Elf!” Chapel’s elf appeared, brandishing its staff.
“And now I’ll activate my trap card. Ultimate Offering!” Chapel’s card revealed itself.
“Ultimate Offering allows me to summon another monster in exchange for 500 life points.”
Sora: 1400
Chapel: 2700
“I’ll use Ultimate Offering to summon, the Blissful Rabbi! In attack made.” The image of a Rabbi holding a large book appeared. It only had 1200 attack points
“And now I’ll equip to it, Sword of Deep Seated, Book of Secret Arts, Axe of Despair, and Mage Power! This will raise it’s attack by 4200!”
“Yikes!” Sora cried, “That’s powerful! But why didn’t you equip that stuff to your Zoa instead of your Rabbi?”
“Because,” Chapel said, his grin broadening, “When Blissful Rabbi is equipped with a magic card, all my monsters get the power boost too! Just look.” Sora looked at Chapel’s other monster. He was horrified to realize that all of his monsters attacks had gone up by 4300!
“How am I supposed to beat those things?!” Sora cried.
“You’re not!” Chapel laughed, “Now Zoa! Destroy his face down card!” Zoa slashed Sora’s Mystical Elf to bits.
“Since your dark door card allows me to attack only once, it’s your turn. Not that it matters.” Sora reached for his deck.
“I need a card that can beat those things,” he thought, “And I need them now!” Sora drew a card and sighed.
“What’s this thing going to do?” He then looked at his hand.
“Wait a minute, this gives me an idea!”
“I play Monster Reborn to bring back my Amphibian Beast in attack mode.!” Sora cried, as his beast reappeared, “And now I’ll summon, Dark Jeroid! In defense mode!”
“Dark Jeroid!?” The shaped of Sora’s fiend appeared on the field.
“What’s that thing going to do?” Cassandra asked.
“When it’s summoned,” Vincent answered, “It can weaken any monster on the field by 800. If I’m right, Sora’s going to use it’s affect on Chapel’s Rabbi. That way, all of his monsters will be weakened.”
“And now I’ll use my monsters affect,” Sora said, “On my Amphibian Beast!”
“WHAT!?!?” Vincent face vaulted.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING SORA!?” Vincent yelled. Chapel just laughed.
“I guess your setting yourself up for a defeat huh? I guess you’ve finally admitted defeat.” Sora smiled.
“Not yet,” he said, “I’ll play one card face down and end my turn.” Chapel drew his card.
“It’s time to end this! Zoa! Attack his Amphibian Beast now!” Chapel’s Zoa dived at the beast. Sora smiled.
“You activated my trap card! Reverse Trap!”
“Reverse trap!” Chapel cried, “What’s that?”
“Reverse Trap takes all power increases and decreases and swaps them around! So instead of all you magic cards powering up you Rabbi, it will weaken him instead!”
“Oh no!!!”
“And because of your Rabbi’s affect, All you monsters attacks are reduced!” Chapel looked at his monsters with a shocked expression. The attack of all his monsters had been reduced to 0.
“And that’s not all! Because of my Dark Jeroid’s affect, my Amphibian Beast’s attack is raised my 800!” Sora’s beast’s attack was raised to 3300.
“So say goodbye to your Zoa.” Chapel’s fiend swung at Sora’s beast, only to bounce off and explode into little pieces.
“And because your monster’s attack was zero, you loose 3300 life points!”
Sora: 1400
Chapel: 0
“I win.”
“Alright Sora!” Cassandra cried, “You did it!” Vincent smiled.
“Well done kid, well done.”
“Now keep your promise and get out of here! And don’t bother me again!” Chapel sneered as he and his goons turned to leave the hotel.
“One more thing Sora,” Chapel said, “You may have beaten me, but others will come after you. And they’ll be stronger. Beware.”
“We’ll be ready for them!” Sora replied as Chapel walked out the door. Vincent put his hand on his shoulder.
“Come on Sora,” he said, “Let’s go back to the room and get some sleep.”
Alright,” Sora replied as he and Cassandra followed him.

Meanwhile…
“Uh…sir,” the guard said nervously.
“What is it?” the masked man asked.
“It appears that Sora has defeated Chapel sir.”
“Don’t worry,” he said, rising to his feet, “We’ll just send someone else to collect him.”

Next: Chapter 5: Beware the Trickster.

Name: Blissful Rabbi
Level: 4
Attack: 900
Defense: 1600
Type: Spellcaster
Attribute: Light
Picture: A rabbi holding an old, brown book. A light is shining behind him and it looks like he’s reaching out to something.
Description: A holy rabbi who uses his power to help others around him and his comrades.
Effect: Whenever this card is equipped with a magic card, all monsters and your control are also affected by the magic card.

legendary fisherman1
7th December 2003, 10:50 PM
Nice fic :) Its hard to find many Yu-Gi-Oh fics here, so that makes it that much better. Might I sugest that you have the charactors use a variety of different deck types? Such as Zombie, Amazoness, Gravekeeper, Feind, etc... It might make the duels more interesting;)

Mystic_clown
8th December 2003, 03:17 PM
Thanks LF. I'm busy writing the next chapter now. And don't worry, there will be duelists with a certain deck type.

Mystic_clown
11th December 2003, 03:18 PM
Yikes! I forgot to add the data on the Blissful Rabbi! Well, I've added it now. Now preparefor the next chapter.

Chapter 5: Beware the Trickster

The masked man sat at his desk, in deep thought.
“Who should I send next to collect Sora,” he said softly to himself, “It must be someone more powerful the Chapel and can get the job done right.”
“May I make a suggestion?” said a voice. A white haired boy stepped out of the darkness.
“What is it Artemis?”
“Well you see, We may be able to use Sora’s friends to get what we want. That is, if we can get hold of them.” The man smiled beneath his mask.
“I know just the man for this job.”

Sora slowly opened his eyes to see Cassandra staring down at him.
“Whoa!” Sora said in surprise.
“Sorry you lazy bum,” Cassandra said, “Now get dressed and come on! Vincent’s taking us card shopping today?”
“Card shopping?” Sora thought, “But why?” Sora quickly got dressed and ran down to the lobby to find Cassandra and Vincent waiting for him.
“What’s this all about?” Sora asked.
“Well,” Vincent said, “Last night I had a look through your deck last night and thought about what Chapel said. If what he said is true, we need to make your deck even stronger.”
“Oh.”
“Now come on. I know this great card shop down the road.” The group walked out of the lobby and headed down to the card shop. Suddenly, there was a shrill laugh coming from behind them.
“Who’s there?” Vincent said, spinning around, only to be see a grinning face staring back at them. Vincent fell to the ground in surprise. The guy was dressed a bit like a court jester.
“Hi!” he said in a friendly fashion. He then looked over at Sora.
“I can’t believe its Sora Jeremiah! You won the regional finals!” He then looked over at Vincent.
“And your Vincent Clive! You came second!”
“And who are you?” Cassandra asked.
“I’m just a fan. But who are you?”
“I’m Cassandra, Sora’s best friend.” Sora sweat dropped.
“Since when?” he muttered.
“Well I can’t keep you any further!” the man said, “See you later!” The group turned away and headed towards the card shop.
“He was really weird,” Sora said.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about that guy,” Vincent said. The group spent the whole day trading and buying new cards for their decks. They even bought Cassandra one and Vincent offered to teach her.

That night, Vincent sat up in his bed. He couldn’t get over what Chapel said and that jester they met this morning. Vincent sighed.
“Maybe I’m just being paranoid,” he thought. Then he heard a noise coming from outside. Then he heard a scream coming from the next room.
“Cassandra!” He got up and ran into the next room to see a cloaked man holding Cassandra hostage. Sora couldn’t believe what was going on. Vincent reached for his revolver.
“Put her down!” he ordered. The man just laughed and leaped out the window.
“No!” Sora cried as he ran to the window. He looked up and saw that the guy was jumping from balcony to balcony till he got to the roof.
“Sora! Let’s go!” Vincent said. The two ran out of the hotel and perused the kidnapper, who was now leaping from building to building. The chase stopped when he came to a large building.
“Come on!” Sora said as they ran into the elevator. When they reached the roof, they looked around. The was a metal structure that was hanging over the building, and dangling from a rope from that structure was Cassandra.
“Cassandra!” Sora cried.
“We’ll get you down!” Vincent said as he ran towards her. Suddenly, a knife shot past Vincent, nearly hitting him. The two looked to see the cloaked man who was now blocking the way to the elevator.
“Why are you doing this?” Sora growled.
“I’m just following the orders of my superiors,” the man said in a shrill, yet familiar voice.
“Who are you?” Vincent asked. The man reached for his cloak and pulled it off. It was the jester from earlier.
“They call me Trickster,’ he said, “and I challenge you to a duel! If I win, you have to join us.”
“What makes you think I’ll accept?” Sora growled. Trickster pulled out a knife and through it at Cassandra, just narrowly missing the rope holding her up.
“And I don’t miss twice,” Trickster laughed.
“Fine Trickster,” Sora said, “I accept,”
“Good,” Trickster replied, his grin growing wider, “Let’s begin.”
Sora: 4000
Trickster: 4000
“I’ll start this little game,” Trickster chuckled as he drew a card, “By playing one card face down, and then, I’ll summon the Spring Jester in defense mode!” The image of a jester with springs for arms and legs appeared.
“It’s got 1800 defense,” Sora thought, “Good opening move.”
“It’s my turn! And now I’ll play, Neo the Magic Swordsman in attack mode!” The image of Sora’s swordsman appeared.
“And I equip to him, Magic Formula! Which will raise his attack to 2300! Now attack his Spring Jester!” Trickster laughed.
“Not so fast!” he jeered, “I activate my face down card. Reliable Guardian!”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes! Reliable Guardian will raise Spring Jester’s defense to 2500! So sorry Sora, your attack’s been blocked.” Sora watched as his attack harmlessly bounced off Trickster’s monster.
Sora: 3800
Trickster: 4000
“It’s my turn now!” Trickster laughed, “And now I’ll equip this magic card to my jester, Horn of Light! This will raise its defense to 2600. Try to destroy it now!” Sora growled. He hated to admit it, but Trickster was right. He didn’t have any monsters strong enough to destroy that thing.
“And my turn’s not over yet!” Trickster chuckled, “For I now play, Drilloga!” A hologram of a robot covered with drills appeared.
“What does that do?” Sora asked.
“Well,” Trickster replied, “When you only control monsters that have over 1600 attack points and are face up, I can attack your life points directly!!!” Sora gasped, he was in trouble now.
“Now go Drillago and attack his life points!!” Trickster’s machine dived into the ground, only to appear right in front of Sora and attack him. Sora near fell over from the attack.
Sora: 2200
Trickster: 4000
Sora drew his card.
“Let’s see,” he said to himself, “I can’t attack his jester, but I might be able to attack his Drilloga!” He then glared at Trickster, who was laughing softly to himself.
“I summon the Man-Eating Treasure Chest in attack mode. Now Neo! Attack his Drillago!” Sora’s swordsman swung at Trickster’s android, only to have the Spring Jester leap in front of him and block the attack.
“What the!?” Sora cried, “What’s going on!?” Trickster laughed.
“It’s my jester’s special ability! As long as it’s in defense mode, it will absorb all of your attack, which leaves my Drillago unharmed!” Sora snarled as Trickster’s grin grew even more psychotic.
“And now it’s my turn! And I’ll attack you life points again!” Drillago attacked Sora for a second time.
Sora: 200
Trickster: 4000
“My turn!” Sora growled, drawing his card.
“What can I do?” he thought, “as long as Spring Jester’s in play, I can’t destroy Drillago and as long as it’s on the field, it can attack my life points directly. Wait! What did he say about Drillago?”
When you only control monster that have above 1600 attack points and are face up, I can attack you life points directly!!
“That’s it! There is a way to prevent him from attacking my life points!”
“I play one monster face down in defense mode! And I’ll also play, Dian Keto the Cure Master, which will increase my life points by 1000. That’s ends my turn.”
Sora: 1200
Trickster: 4000
“Now my turn!” Trickster said, drawing a card, “And I’ll have my Drilloga attack you face down card!” The Mystical Elf appeared and blocked Trickster’s attack. I smiled.
“Sorry Trickster,” he said in a mocking voice, “But it’s your turn to loose life points.”
Sora: 1200
Trickster: 3600
“But that’s not all. Because Mystical Elf’s attack is below 1600, you can’t attack my life points.” Trickster laughed, much to Sora’s surprise.
“It doesn’t matter. Because I’ll get rid of it right now, thanks to Fissure!”
“Not Fissure!” Vincent said.
“Fissure will destroy your weakest monster, and since that’s Mystical Elf, say goodbye!” A large crack appeared on the ground and Sora’s elf fell to her doom.
“My turn’s over, but next turn, you’re finished!” Sora drew his card and a small smile appeared on his face.
“This will help,” he thought.
“I play the magic card Nightmare Steel Cage!” A metal cage appeared around Trickster and his monsters.
“This will stop both of us from attacking for two turns! And now I summon Dark Jeroid! And use it’s effect to reduce your monster’s attack to 800.” Sora’s fiend appeared and weakened Trickster’s Drillago.
“That ends my turn. But at least your monster’s not much of a threat.” Trickster drew his card and smiled.
“Not a threat huh? Well it will be when I play Ookazi! This will reduce your life points by 800! Reducing it to 800!” Flames shot up around Sora, severely damaging his life points.
Sora: 400
Trickster: 3600
“Now even with it’s attack lowered, it will still reduce your life points to 0 when I can attack!”
“Oh really?” Sora said, drawing a card, “Well incase you forgot, Dark Jeroid’s attack is 1200, low enough to prevent your monster from attacking my life points. So I’ll end my turn.”
“My move,” Trickster said, drawing a card. He then burst into laughter as he stared at his card.
“This card will win the duel for me! I play Sword of Dark Destruction!!”
“Sword of Dark Destruction!?”
“Yes! This card will raise a dark type monster’s attack by 400 and reduce its defense by 200.”
“Even with your Drillago’s attack increased, it still can’t attack my life points.”
“Whoever said I was increasing my monster’s attack? I’m raising yours! Your Dark Jeroid’s to be exact!”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes! This will raise Dark Jeroid’s attack to 1600, high enough for me to attack your life points next turn!” A black sword appeared in Sora’s fiend’s hand.
“That ends my turn.” The cage surrounding Trickster evaporated. Sora reached for his deck.
“I’ve got to draw a card that can defeat that thing.” Sora reached for his deck and drew. He nervously looked at his card. A broad smile appeared on his face. He then started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Trickster asked.
“I just drew the card that will defeat you.”
”What are you talking about? You’ve got no cards that can defeat my power.”
“Yes I do! I sacrifice my Man-Eating Treasure Chest and Dark Jeroid!” The images of Sora’s monsters vanished in a shroud of smoke and wear replaced by a monstrous figure.
“To summon the almighty Barrel Dragon!”
“The Barrel Dragon!?” Trickster cried. His grin had disappeared from his face entirely and was replaced with a shocked expression.
“Yes,” Sora replied, smiling, “And you may know that the Barrel Dragon’s effect will defeat you.”
“What does he mean?” Cassandra asked, who was hanging upside down.
“The Barrel Dragon’s effect allows him to flip three coins. If he gets two or more heads, Sora can destroy any monster on the field, mainly his Spring Jester.” Trickster suddenly started laughing again.
“What now?” Sora growled.
“Your Barrel Dragon wont help! Because if you fail to et two or more heads, Barrel Dragon’s effect wont work, and then there wont be anything stopping me from attack your life points.”
“It’s a risk I’ve got to take! I activate its effect!” Three coins appeared and were tossed into the air. The first one landed.
“It’s a head,” Sora said hopefully. The second one landed.
“Tails, too bad,” Trickster laughed. The final one finally landed.
“Heads! Yes! That means I can activate my monsters effect!”
“OH NO!!!!”
“And I’ll have my Barrel Dragon destroy Spring Jester!” Sora’s dragon fired it’s three cannons at Trickster’s jester, blasting it to bits.
“Now Neo, attack Trickster’s Drillago!” Sora’s swordsman attacked Trickster’s machine, destroying it.
Sora: 400
Trickster: 2100
“And now Barrel Dragon! Attack his life points directly!” Trickster shielded himself as Sora’s monster blasted what was left of his life points.
Sora: 800
Trickster: 0
“That means I win!” Trickster slumped to the ground. Vincent cut Cassandra down and the three walked over to Trickster.
“What should we do about him?” Vincent asked. A wicked grin appeared on Sora’s face.
“I’ve got an idea.”

A few minutes later…
“Come on guys! Have mercy!” Trickster cried, who was now hanging upside down.
“We’re not cutting you down,” Sora said, “Someone else can do it.”
“You can’t do this to me!”
“Come on guys,” Vincent said, “Let’s head back to the hotel.”

Next: Chapter 6: Blue Mary

Name: Spring Jester
Level: 4
Attack: 1000
Defense: 1800
Type: Fiend
Attribute: Dark
Picture: A jester with springs for arms and legs. His arms and legs are flailing everywhere.
Description: A jester that uses it’s stretchy arms and legs to defend his comrades.
Effect: When this card is in defense mode, all attacks are redirected to this monster.

mr_pikachu
11th December 2003, 05:33 PM
Not a bad chapter, but there was an error in the duel.


Originally posted by Mystic_clown

Sora: 2200
Trickster: 4000
Sora drew his card.
“Let’s see,” he said to himself, “I can’t attack his jester, but I might be able to attack his Drilloga!” He then glared at Trickster, who was laughing softly to himself.
“I summon the Man-Eating Treasure Chest in attack mode. Now Neo! Attack his Drillago!” Sora’s swordsman swung at Trickster’s android, only to have the Spring Jester leap in front of him and block the attack.
“What the!?” Sora cried, “What’s going on!?” Trickster laughed.
“It’s my jester’s special ability! As long as it’s in defense mode, it will absorb all of your attack, which leaves my Drillago unharmed!” Sora snarled as Trickster’s grin grew even more psychotic.
“And now it’s my turn! And I’ll attack you life points again!” Drillago attacked Sora for a second time.
Sora: 600
Trickster: 4000

If the Spring Jester blocked the attack of the Man-Eating Treasure Chest, Sora should have lost 800 more Life Points, since the Jester's defense was 2600 after Trickster played Horn of Light (Compared to the 1800 Attack Points of the Man-Eating Treasure Chest). Thus, Sora's LP would have been at 1400 before ever being attacked by Drillago that turn. So when Drillago used a Direct Attack, Sora would have lost the duel. You might want to rewrite that duel, even though it was a good one.

Anyway, this was a nice chapter (other than the dueling error), and I look forward to your next update! :wave:

Mystic_clown
11th December 2003, 07:34 PM
Uh Pika, Sora didn't attack with the Man Eating Treasure Chest. He attacked with Neo, who had 2200 attack thanks to the magic formula. Anyway, thanks for the feeback.

mr_pikachu
11th December 2003, 08:00 PM
Originally posted by Mystic_clown

Uh Pika, Sora didn't attack with the Man Eating Treasure Chest. He attacked with Neo, who had 2200 attack thanks to the magic formula.
Okay, I see that now. Nevertheless, Sora should have lost Life Points from the failed attack, as the Jester's Defense was 2600, and Neo's Attack was 2300 (?). Thanks for catching my mistake there. :wave:

Mystic_clown
14th December 2003, 06:54 PM
I'll edit it now. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 6: Blue Mary

“Sora has managed to avoid Trickster,” Artemis said. The masked man leant back on his chair.
“There’s got to be a way to get hold of Sora,” the man said, “He’s got something I want.”
“You mean?”
“Yes, that.”
“Well if I can make a suggestion.”
‘What?”
“Vincent Clive seems to be Sora’s new ‘guardian’, so if we could get him away from Sora, we could grab him without a problem.” The man thought for a few minutes.
“That’s it! And I know just how we’re going to pull it off.”

Sora yawned as he laid back on the bed. It had been a whole day since his duel with Trickster and he still couldn’t relax.
“I wonder if anyone’s found him yet?” Sora asked himself before laughing. Cassandra and Vincent then walked through the door.
“Come on Sora,” Vincent said, “Let’s go down to the restaurant and grab something to eat. Sora got to his feet and walked down to the lobby.
“So where’s the restaurant?” Sora asked. Vincent pointed.
“Just across the street.” Sora looked over. It seemed to be more like a bar rather then a restaurant.
“You sure that’s a restaurant?” Sora asked.
“Well, they do serve some pretty good food there.” Sora and Cassandra sighed. The group walked over to the restaurant/bar and entered. It did seem kind of friendly, and as they guessed, there was a bar at the far end.
“You guys get what you want, I’ll just have a few drinks.” Vincent said.
“Are you old enough?” Cassandra asked.
“Yeah, I am 18.”
“Really? I thought you were 17.” Vincent walked over to the bar while Sora and Cassandra sat down.
“I’m just gonna have some fries,” Sora said, “How about you?”

Vincent sat at the bar and called over the bar tender.
“I’ll have a beer,” he said.
“You old enough?” the bar tender asked.
“Yeah.”
“You look younger.” The bar tender poured Vincent a glass and handed it over to him.
“That’ll be $10,” the bar tender said.
“I’ll pay for that,” came a voice, “And get me one too.” Vincent looked to see a girl with short, blonde hair and wearing a red tank top and jeans, hand the bar tender some money. She then looked over to Vincent.
“Hey there,” she said in a friendly fashion.
“Hey,” Vincent replied, “I haven’t seen you here before. Who are you?”
“My friends call me Blue Mary.”
“What’s your real name?” Blue Mary winked.
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”
“Who old are you anyway?” Vincent asked. Blue Mary smiled.
“Same age as you, 17. But don’t tell the bar tender that.”
“I’m 18.” Blue Mary seemed surprised.
“Sorry, you just looked younger.”
“Why does everyone say that?”

Sora had just finished forcing down his food and was just about done finishing his drink. He looked around.
“Where’s the bathroom?” he thought. He got his feet and walked over to Vincent.
“Hey Vincent,” Sora asked, “Where’s the bathroom?” Vincent pointed.
“Over there.”
“Thanks.” Blue Mary looked at Sora, then back at Vincent.
“Who’s he?”
“Some I’m looking after,” he replied.
“Doesn’t have a family?”
“He does. It’s just that some bad people are after him.”
“I’m sure he could take care of himself Vincent.” Vincent seemed surprised.
“How did you know my name?”

Sora walked into the bathroom, only to find all the cubicles occupied. He tapped his foot impatiently.
“You Sora Jeremiah?” came a voice. Sora turned to see a dark man standing behind him.
“Yeah,” Sora replied, “Why?” The man smiled.
“Because, You’re coming with me!” The man grabbed Sora and dragged him out the back door.
“What’s all he commotion?” Cassandra asked as she walked in, “What’s going on?” suddenly, another guy appeared and grabbed Cassandra. The two dragged Sora and Cassandra out the back door and into a nearby ally. Vincent looked up from his drink and looked over at the bathroom door.
“What’s wrong?” Blue Mary asked.
“Sora and Cassandra aren’t back yet,” Vincent replied.
“Well…uh, maybe they just went out the back to get some fresh air.”
“Not without telling me.” Vincent got to his feet, only to have Blue Mary grab his arm.
“Or maybe they’re just gone for a walk.” Vincent looked into Blue Mary’s eyes.
“You’re lying.” Vincent ran into the bathroom and out the back door, to find the two guys trying to drag Sora and Cassandra into a black van. Vincent drew his revolvers.
“Drop them!” he ordered. The guys immediately backed away. Suddenly, someone clubbed Vincent in the back of the head. He turned around to see Blue Mary holding a 2x4 standing right behind him.
“You could have made this easy on yourself,” Blue Mary said, “But you had to go and help Sora.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s my job! And since my plan to distract you failed, I’ll have to go to plan B. You and I shall duel! And if we win, Sora comes with us!” Vincent slipped on his duel disk.
“You’re on!”
“Let’s duel!”
Vincent: 4000
Blue Mary: 4000
“I’ll start off,” said Vincent, drawing a card, “by playing Gaia Power!” A massive tree rose up from the ground behind him.
“This card raises the attack of all earth type monsters by 500 and weakens their defense by 400. And now I’ll summon Oni Tank T34!” Vincent’s tank appeared in front of him.
“Since I’ve got Gaia Power, its attack is raised to 1900, but it’s defense is reduced to 1300. That will end my turn.” Mary drew her card and smiled.
“I found out a way to use your own card against you. I summon Hibikime! In attack mode!” The figure of Mary’s Hibikime appeared.
“And because of your Gaia Power, her attack is raised to 1950! More then enough to destroy your Oni Tank. Hibikime attack!!” Mary’s monster fired a shockwave at Vincent’s tank, shattering it to pieces.
Vincent: 3950
Blue Mary: 4000
“My move now,” Vincent said. He stared at his card and smiled.
“I play Monster Reborn to revive Oni Tank T34!” Vincent’s tank reappeared on the field.
“That thing won’t be able to destroy Hibikime,” Mary scoffed.
“No, but this will. I sacrifice Oni Tank to summon Ansatsu!” Vincent’s tank vanished and a ninja worrier appeared.
“And because of my Gaia Power, it’s attack is raised to 2200. Now attack Hibikime!” Vincent’s ninja threw a series of knives at Mary’s monster, shredding it to bits.
Vincent: 3950
Blue Mary: 3750
“My turn,” Mary growled, “And I’ll play this card face down and one monster in defense mode! Your turn.”
“That was quick,” Vincent replied, “And now I’ll play this card. Michizury of Doom (excuse my spelling)! This card allows me to take two cards from your hand and discard them…”
“Then I get to do the same to you, I know.”
“Then show me your hand.” The first thing Vincent noticed was the Wingweaver in her hand.
“I choose Wingweaver and Dancing Fairies!” Blue Mary sent her two cards to the graveyard. Vincent then showed her his hand.
“I choose Milus Radiant and Armored Lizard.” Vincent sent his two cards to the graveyard.
“And now Ansatsu! Attack her face down card!”
“Reveal face down card! Castle Walls! This card raises the defense of one monster by 500. And the card you attacked was Mystical Elf!” Mary’s elf appeared and blocked the attack.”
Vincent: 3650
Blue Mary: 3750
“Now I’ll play Red Medicine. This card will increase my life points by 500, putting me back on top.”
Vincent: 4150
Blue Mary: 3750
“That ends my turn.” Mary drew her card and smiled.
“I now play, Graceful Charity! This will allow me to draw three cards…”
“Then discard two, I know get on with it.” Mary drew her cards and smiled.
“I now play Change of Heart and take control of Ansatsu!” Vincent’s ninja immediately jumped over to Mary’s side.
“Now I’ll sacrifice these two monsters to summon my most powerful monster! The Cosmo Queen!” The hologram of Mary’s powerful queen appeared.
“Not her! Not her!” Vincent thought.
“Before I attack I’ll play this. Tremendous Fire! This will cost me 500 life points, but it will do 1000 damage to yours!” A wall of fire erupted underneath Vincent. He cried out in pain.
“Now my Cosmo Queen, attack!” Mary’s queen put her hands together and fired a ball of dark energy at Vincent.
Vincent: 250
Blue Mary: 3250
“It’s my turn.” Vincent said.
“Tell me something,” Blue Mary asked, “Why do you help that kid?”
“Because, he’s my friend. And I’ll always look after my friends.”
“He’s your friend?”
“That’s right, and there’s no way I’m going to let him be kidnapped by some organization.” Blue Mary stared at Vincent. She couldn’t believe what Vincent had said.
Blue Mary.
Mary eyed the earpiece hidden underneath her hair. Meanwhile, the masked man and Artemis watched the duel on a large monitor.
“You’ve done well, no finish him off and bring Sora to me.” Vincent drew his card and sighed. He looked over at Sora.
“I’m sorry Sora, I’ve failed you.”
“No!” Sora cried. Vincent looked over at Mary.
“Your turn.”
Excellent. Now attack him and finish him off! Do it now!
Mary looked at her monster, then at Vincent. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what was right anymore.
Do it now!
Mary’s arms drooped to her sides.
“I pass this turn.”
You what!?
“You’re turn.”
But I commanded you to destroy him Mary!!
Mary reached for her earpiece and threw it onto the ground.
“She’s not responding!” the masked man snarled.
“I knew this wouldn’t end well,” Artemis thought. Vincent was surprised.
“Why didn’t she attack me?” he thought, “Well, I’d better make the most of this.” Vincent drew and card. He couldn’t believe what he drew.
“Alright!” Vincent laughed.
“Did you get the card you need?” Mary asked.
“Yes I did and now you’re in big trouble. For I plat Tomb Raider! This card takes one magic card from my graveyard and then one from yours!” Mary sighed.
“For my card, I’ll bring back Monster Reborn! And use it on the Wingweaver I sent to the graveyard!” Mary’s Wingweaver appeared on Vincent’s side of the field.
“And for your card, I’ll bring back Change of Heart and take control of your Cosmo Queen.” Mary’s monster switched sides.
“And now! I’ll sacrifice them both, to summon the almighty, Gun Slinging Drifter!” Mary’s two monsters vanished and was replaced with Vincent’s powerful drifter.
“Because of your two monsters, its attack is raised to 3275! And because of Gaia Power, its attack is raised even further to 3775!” Blue Mary closed her eyes.
“I guess this means it’s all over.”
“You bet it is. Now Gun Slinging Drifter attack!!” Vincent’s drifter dived at Mary and slashed her with his bayonet, bringing her life points to 0
Vincent: 250
Blue Mary: 0
“You did it!” Sora cried. Meanwhile, the masked man wasn’t really happy.
“I can’t believe this!” he growled, “Not only does go against my orders, but she also lost the duel!” he then pulled out a radio.
“I want you two to bring Blue Mary back here this instant! You here me!?”
“Yes sir.” Vincent walked up to Blue Mary.
“Why?” he asked. Mary looked up at him.
“Why didn’t you attack me?” Mary looked at the ground.
“Well, you see.” But she was interrupted when he two lackeys grabbed her.
“The boss wants to have a word with you!” The two threw Mary into the van.
“Let her go!” Vincent growled, pulling out his revolver. But the two guys got in and quickly drove off, with Vincent chasing after them.
“Blue Mary!”

Next: Chapter 7: A day of rest

Name: Tomb Raider
Type: Normal
Effect: Take one magic card from your graveyard and place it in your hand. Then take a magic card from your opponent’s graveyard and place it in your hand.

mr_pikachu
14th December 2003, 07:38 PM
Hmm. So Blue Mary had a change of heart, huh? I wonder why. But what's with the "thing" that Sora has? Is it a card... or a special power? Either way, that was a good duel. Though I would have thought BM would have gone through with it, if she had planned to in the first place. But that'll probably be explained away soon.

btw, the Tomb Raider Magic card seems kind of over-powerful. Does the fact that it's continuous mean he gets to do that every turn? Because, IMO, that's going a little too far. But oh well, I'm sure there's something else involved.

Well, good chapter, and I look forward to the next one! See ya! :wave:

Mystic_clown
14th December 2003, 08:06 PM
Yikes! Tomb Raider wasn't supposed to be a continuous. I have no idea why I put that there. I'll change it now. Also, I will tell you what the "Thing" is later, as well as why BM had a change of heart.

Mew Master
15th December 2003, 02:49 PM
Yes, very nicely done Yu-Gi-Oh Fan Fic. However.. I have spotted a typo in chapter 6.

“Not a threat huh? Well it will be when I play Ookazi! This will reduce your life points by 800! Reducing it to 800!” Flames shot up around Sora, severely damaging his life points.
Sora: 400
Trickster: 3600

You might want to double check that.

Other than that... we need a Dragon Duelist... not Kaiba... but someone else with a Dragon Deck ^^

*feels the presence of odd looks going his way*

What?! I like the Dragons. It's not a crime.

Later~

~Mew Master

Mystic_clown
28th December 2003, 03:00 PM
Thanks about that MM. I'll edit it now. Speaking of Kaiba, I'm planning for Sora to have some sort of rival as well (he'll appear three chapters from now). I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible.

Mystic_clown
1st January 2004, 04:00 PM
Chapter 7: A day of rest

Vincent ran full tilt after the van. He was determined to save Blue Mary. He then stumbled and landed face first o the road. He looked up to see the van turn a corner and disappear. Sora and Cassandra caught up to him and helped him up.
“Come on Vincent,” Cassandra said, “Let’s go back to the hotel.” The group arrived back at the hotel and was walking down the hall towards their rooms. Vincent then spun around and punched the wall.
“How could I be so stupid!” He growled.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Sora said.
“I’m sorry. It was just that I had a lot of questions to ask. And Mary could have had the answers.”
“Let’s just get some sleep now,” Cassandra said. Vincent nodded. Sora and Cassandra headed to bed and fell asleep. Vincent on the other hand sat up in his bed. He couldn’t get what happened out of his head.
“Why Mary?” He thought, “Why didn’t you attack me?”

Meanwhile. The masked man pounded his fist against the table.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID!!” he roared, “NOT ONLY DID YOU GO AGAINST MY ORDERS, BUT YOU ALSO LOST THE PERFECT CHANCE TO GRAB SORA!!”
“Sir, if you would just listen to me,” Blue Mary replied, “I don’t think that,”
“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!!” he turned to his guards.
“Get her out of my sight before I really loose my temper!” The two guards nodded and dragged Mary out of the room. The man then turned and faced the window.
“I knew that girl was trouble,” Artemis said, stepping out of the shadows.
“What should I do now? Who should I send to defeat Sora?” Artemis thought.
“This could take a while.”

Vincent slowly opened his eyes to see Cassandra staring down at him. He nearly fell out of bed in surprise.
“Wake up you lazy bum,” Cassandra said cheerfully.
“What’s this all about?” Vincent asked.
“Well, since you were all depressed last night, Sora and I decided to cheer you up. So, we’re having a big day out!” Vincent was a bit confused.
“A big what?”
“A big day out. You wont have to worry about anyone trying to grab us and we can just relax.”
“That’s nice of you but really,”
“No buts. Come on! Sora’s waiting for you down stairs.”
“Sora’s up already?” Vincent thought, “Will wonders ever cease?” Cassandra led Vincent down stairs, where Sora was waiting for him.
“Well I’m here,” Vincent said, “So what are we going to do?”
“Well,” Sora said, smiling, “I figured that we could go all over town. Come on.” Cassandra grabbed Vincent’s hand and pulled him along. Well, Sora was as good as his word. The group traveled all over the city, taking in the sites, doing some shopping and even spending a few hours at the arcade.

The masked man leaned over onto his desk, deep in thought.
“Who to send, who to send,” he thought, “It’s got to be someone that will obey orders and outsmart those kids.” An idea then popped into his head.
“I’ve got it!” he said, rising to his feet, “I’ll send the Beast Brothers after Sora!” Artemis looked over at the man.
“The Beast Brothers sir?” he asked, “are you sure?”
“Of course. Bring them to me immediately!”

The group entered the park. Cassandra was licking at an ice cream while Sora was eating a hotdog.
“Hey guys,” Vincent said, “I just want to thank you. This really did make me feel better.
“You’re welcome,” Sora replied, with his mouth full. Suddenly, there was a gunshot and then a roaring laugh. The group ran over to where the noise came from. They arrived to see a group of people watching some guy shooting dinner plates. After shooting another plate, the man began jumping around.
“I am the best gunman in all of America!” He laughed. A frown appeared on Cassandra’s face.
“What a showoff,” she said, “Let’s not waste our time with him. Vincent?” She turned to see Vincent heading over towards the guy.
“So you think you’re the best gunman here huh?” Vincent said, “I bet I’m better then you.”
“Oh really?” the guy said, “Prove it! Throw a plate and see f this guy can hit it!” Another man hurled a dinner plate into the air.
“That’s easy,” Vincent laughed, “I could do that over my shoulder! Watch!” Vincent turned and fired the gun over his shoulder. The plate shattered to pieces. Everyone cheered, except for the showoff.
“Beginner’s luck!” he growled. Vincent turned to face him.
“Beginner’s luck huh?” he said, “Well watch this!” Vincent looked to his right and shot a cigarette out of some guy’s hand, without even hurting him.
“I must be one lucky guy then,” Vincent replied, as he turned and left. The group cheered as he walked over to Sora and Cassandra, leaving the showoff, standing there with a surprised look on his face.
“That was great Vincent!” Cassandra said was the three walked among the trees, “I had no idea you were that good!”
“Well, when you travel as much as I do, you need to protect yourself. Any, this has been a great day you guys, thank you.”
“You don’t have to say that,” Sora said.
“Hey,” came a voice, “Are you Sora Jerimiah?” Sora and the group turned around.
“Yeah, and who are you?”

Next: Chapter 8: The Beast Brothers

dragon684
1st January 2004, 05:28 PM
Cassandra reminds me of Hilary from Beyblade V-force. Almost your entire first chapter was like the first episode except for the fact that Sora won and Tyson would lose. eventhough great chapters.

Mystic_clown
3rd January 2004, 03:37 PM
Thanks dragon.

Chapter 8: The Beast Brothers

“Are you Sora Jeremiah?”
“Yeah,” Sora replied, “and who are you?” To be honest, Sora was a bit surprised at the man standing behind him. He was tall, really tall. He wore a large, brown cloak that had long sleeves, a crooked steeple hat and a duel disk on his right arm. With all the clothing, Sora could only make out his brown eyes and scruffy black hair.
“The name’s Smokey!” the man replied in a cheerful fashion.
“What do you want?” Vincent asked.
“Well, I’ve heard of Sora’s reputation and I want to duel him myself.” Sora smiled.
“Sure, a duel sounds good.” Smokey smiled underneath his cloak.
“To make things more interesting. The winner gets a prize of their choosing.” Sora seemed a bit unsure.
“A prize of their choosing?”
“Yeah. You could ask for one of your opponent’s cards, or money or anything.” The smile returned to Sora’s face.
“Sure, I’m in.” Smokey’s smile broadened.
“Great, but why don’t we duel over there,” he said, pointing to a clearing a few metres away, “That’ll be a good place to duel.” The four walked over to the clearing, all the while, Vincent was looking over at Smokey. There was something strange about the way he walked. When they got to the clearing, Smokey walked over to the far end.
“Okay Sora,” he said, “It’s time to duel!”
Sora: 4000
Smokey: 4000
Meanwhile, unknown by Sora or his friends, a dark figure sat up in a tree behind Sora, out of their view. He pulled out some binoculars and glanced at Sora’s hand. He then reached for an earpiece.
“Hey bro,” he whispered, “It’s me.”
“You can go first,” Sora said.
“Thank you,” Smokey said, drawing a card, “And I’ll start by playing the Giant Rat in defense mode!” A large, feral rat appeared.
“I’ll also played one card face down and end my turn.” Vincent then saw Smokey place his cards in his left hand, which disappeared under the long sleeves.
“Why would he do that?” Vincent thought.
“My turn,” Sora said, “And I’ll summon the Man Eating Treasure Chest in attack mode!” the gruesome chest appeared.
“Now attack the Giant Rat!” With a few swift chomps, the chest swallowed Smokey’s rat.
“Thanks,” Smokey said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean thanks for sending my rat to the graveyard, because no I can special summon an earth monster with 1500 attack or below to the field. And I choose Silver Fang!” A silver wolf appeared.
“Fine then,” Sora replied, “I’ll end my turn then.”
“Good. I’ll now sacrifice my monster to summon Berfomet!” The figure of the beast-like fiend appeared.
“Why summon that card?” Sora asked, “It won’t beat my monster.”
“No, but it will allow me to create a more powerful monster. You see, when Berfomet is summoned, I can search for a Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts and put it in my hand. Now it’s time for polymerization!!” A hologram of Smokey’s card appeared, as well as a hologram of Gazelle.
“I’ll use it to fuse Berfomet and Gazelle together!” The two monsters began to glow and slowly combined. When the light dimmed, a large beast-like monster stood in their place.
“Behold! Chimera the Flying Mythical Beast! You’re finished! Now attack the treasure chest at once!” The Chimera dived at the chest and slashed it with its claw, blasting it to bits.
Sora: 3500
Smokey: 4000
“You’re turn.” Sora drew his card.
“I play one card face down and one monster in defense mode.” Meanwhile, the guy sitting in the tree whispered into the earpiece.
“Listen up Smokey, you’re opponent just placed Wobaku face down and Witty Phantom in defense mode.”
“alright,” whispered Smokey. He pulled his sleeve back to reveal his hand and gazed at his cards. He knew that one of the cards in his hand wasn’t in there on his last turn.
“You’re turn,” Sora said. Smokey drew.
“I play one monster face down and summon Mystical Horseman in attack mode.” The figure of Smokey’s horseman appeared.
“Now attack his defense card my horseman!”
“No so fast!” Sora said, “I activate my trap card! Wobaku!”
“And I activate mine! 7 Tools of the Bandit!”
“Oh no!” Vincent growled.
“This card costs me 1000 life points, but since it negates your trap card, it’s no great loss. Now say goodbye to Witty Phantom!” The horseman swung his scythe, slaying Sora’s phantom.
Sora: 3500
Smokey: 3000
“Something’s not right here,” Vincent thought, “How did Smokey know about Sora’s phantom? I smell a rat.”
“And now, Chimera, attack his life points directly!” With one mighty swipe of its claws, the beast sent Sora flying to the floor.
Sora: 1400
Smokey: 3000
“My turn is over.” Sora drew his card and smiled.
“What card did he draw Chobo?” Smokey quietly whispered.
I don’t know.
“What?”
I can’t see the card! His head’s in the way!
“I play this card face down and I summon Neo the Magic Swordsman in attack mode!” Sora’s swordsman appeared. Smokey snarled.
“Great!” he thought, “Now he’s got a card out I don’t know about. What am I worrying about? I’ll destroy him right now!”
“I equip to my Chimera, Horn of the Unicorn and Malevolent Nuzzler! That will give monster a total attack boost of 1500!” Smokey’s Chimera’s attack rose to 3600.
“Now, attack Neo the Magic Swordsman!” The Chimera dived at Neo.
“You activated my trap card!”
“Trap card?”
“Yes! Reverse Trap!”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes! Reverse Trap will take all your magic cards and use them to weaken your monster!”
“No!!” The Chimera’s attack dropped to 600
“Now destroy the Chimera Neo!” Neo blocked the attack and countered with his sword, destroying the Chimera.
Sora: 1400
Smokey: 1900
“Good move!” Vincent called. He then looked over at Smokey. Smokey nearly toppled over from the shock. His upper body fell backwards, but his lower section fell forwards.
“What the?”
“You’ll pay for that!” Smokey growled when he regained his balance. “First of all, my destroying my Chimera, I can bring either my Gazelle or Berfomet back from the graveyard! And I choose to bring back Berfomet, in defense mode! I’ll also switch my horseman in defense mode!” Smokey’s fiend reappeared and the two monsters’s crossed their arms.
“I’ll also play a card face down, you’re turn.”
“My turn!” Sora said, drawing a card, “And first I’ll sacrifice my Neo to summon the Amphibian Beast!”
“Wrong!”
“What?”
“I activate my trap! None Aggression Area! This stops you from summoning anything for one turn!” Sora growled.
“fine then, I’ll just attack your horseman! Go Neo!” Neo swung his sword at the centaur, destroying it. While this was happening, Smokey had pulled his arms out of his sleeve and into the main part of his cloak.
“I need those cards now!” Smokey whispered into his cloak. Smokey felt two cards slide out of his hand and was replaced by two new ones. He then slipped his hand back into his sleeve.
“You’re turn,” Sora said.
“Fine!” Smokey drew a card and gave a forced laugh.
“I drew the card I need!”
“What?”
“I play, the War-Lion Ritual!”
“Oh no!”
“I sacrifice my Berfomet and a monster from my hand to summon, the Super War-Lion!” In a blast of flames, Smokey’s Berfomet vanished and was replaced with the war-lion.
“Now attack.” With a mighty roar, the war-lion dived at Neo and gave him a barrage of slashes. In a few slashes, Neo was destroyed.
Sora: 800
Smokey: 1900
“And now to make matters worse! I play Card Destruction! This card will send both our hands to the graveyard!” Sora sent his hand to the graveyard and drew five new cards.
“You’re turn.” Sora drew his card and smiled.
“What cards does he have Chobo?” Smokey whispered. Chobo looked through his binoculars.
“I no!” he whispered, nearly falling of the branch he was sitting on. Vincent noticed the tree shaking.
“I see what’s going on here.” He thought.
“What do you mean ‘oh no’?” Smokey growled.
“Time for me to win this duel!” Sora said.
“What are you talking about? You can’t defeat my War-lion!”
“Yes I can! I summon Griggle in attack mode!” the puny figure of Sora’s monster appeared. Smokey nearly fell over in surprise.
“That’s the thing that will destroy me? You’re loosing it!”
“It will when combined with this! Creature Swap.”
“Not that!”
“This card allows me to take control with one of your monsters, but forces me to give up one in exchange! So I’ll take your War-Lion and give you my Griggle!” Smokey’s War-lion switched places with Sora’s Griggle.
“That’s not all,” Sora continued, “When control of Griggle switches to you, I gain 3000 life points!”
Sora: 3800
Smokey: 1900
“Now Super War-Lion! Destroy Griggle!!” The war-lion destroyed the Griggle with one mighty slash.
Sora: 3800
Smokey: 0
“That’s means I win!”
“No,” Smokey said, finding it hard to believe he lost, “You couldn’t have beaten me!”
“Why?” Vincent asked, “Because your cheating failed?”
“What do you mean?” Cassandra asked.
“I’ll show you.” Vincent pulled out his revolver and aimed at a tree not far from there. He fired and a small boy, around Sora’s age fell from the tree, followed by a broken branch.
“This kid was spying on your hand, and sending the info to our little friend here.” Smokey snarled.
“You cheat!” Cassandra growled.
“But that’s not all,” Vincent said, walking over to Smokey, “There’s more.” Vincent grabbed Smokey’s cloak and pulled hard. Smokey fell to the ground, not only did Smokey get up, but another boy as well.
“Smokey was, in fact, just two kids standing on each other’s shoulders. And during your turn, Smokey slipped his hand out of his large sleeves and into the main body of the cloak, that way, the bottom kid could slip cards that Smokey needed into his hand.
“You’re nothing but a bunch of frauds!” Sora growled.
“Well what do you expect? We’re the Beast Brothers! It’s our job!”
“The Beast Brothers?”
“That’s right! I’m Smokey!”
“I’m Chobo,” said the second one.
“And I’m Gimic!” said the third.
“If our plan worked, you would have joined us for us!”
“What!?” Sora growled, “You mean you guys are with that organization!?”
“That’s right!”
“Well,” Vincent said, “Sora won and now he gets a prize of his choice!”
“Hey that’s right! I think I’ll take that super War-Lion and the ritual card for it!”
“No!” Sora took the cards and added them to his deck.
“These will surely strengthen my deck.”
“Come on guys,” Vincent said, “Let’s go.” But before the group could leave the clearing, walls made from logs rose from the ground, trapping the group inside.
“What’s this about!?” Vincent yelled at the Beast Brothers. Gimic smiled.
“Don’t think you’ll get off so easily. Since our first plan failed, we had to go to plan B. If you want to get out of here. You have to duel us! In a 3 on 3 duel!”
“What! There’s no way we’ll do that!” Sora growled.
“It’s not like you have a choice!” Chobo laughed.
“Prepare to duel!” Smokey said, “And this is one duel that you cannot win!!”

Next: Chapter 9: Enter the Rival

Mystic_clown
8th January 2004, 04:12 PM
Chapter 9: Enter the Rival

“Are you prepared to loose everything Sora?” Smokey laughed, “Because when we beat you, not only will we take back the cards you won from us, but you’ll also have to join us.”
“Be careful Sora,” Vincent said, “These guys have obviously had experience dueling as a tag team.”
“I will,” Sora replied.
“But I’ve never dueled before,” Cassandra said, “I’ll loose instantly.”
“Don’t say that,” Vincent replied, “if you go, then we’ll be outnumbered, and there’s no way we can win against their tag team assault.”
“Enough talk!” Chobo growled as he and Gimic slipped on their duel disks, “It’s time to duel!”
“Hold it!” came a voice. The group looked over to see a boy jump down from a tree. He had short, raven black hair, cold blue eyes and wore a tattered old cloak.
“If you guys want a challenge,” said the boy, “Why don’t you three go against me.” Chobo was confused.
“You mean a 3 on 1?” The boy nodded and Gimic smiled.
“Fine by me, we could use the practice.”
“Alright then,” the boy replied, “Here’s how it will go. It will be me, then Smokey, then me, then Chobo, then me, then Gimic and then back to me. And to give you guys a bit of an advantage, you three will be allowed to attack on your first turn.” Smokey smiled.
“Prepare to loose!”
Smokey: 4000
Chobo: 4000
Gimic: 4000
????: 4000
“What does he think he’s doing?” Vincent thought, “He won’t be able to beat three guys at once.” The boy drew.
“I summon Sangan! In defense mode.” Sangan appeared and crossed its arms.
“You’re turn.” Smokey drew a card.
“This is the beginning of the end for you. I summon Silver Fang in attack mode!” Smokey’s wolf appeared, glaring at Sangan.
“Attack now!” Silver Fang tore into Sangan and ripped it to shreds.
“My Sangan may be gone, but since it’s destroyed, I can take a monster with 1500 attack or below and add it to my hand. And I choose Lady of Faith!”
“Fine then,” Smokey said, “I’ll end my turn then.” The boy drew his card.
“I now summon Lady of Faith in defense mode.” The boy’s lady appeared, kneeled down and crossed her arms.
“Your turn.” Chobo laughed as he drew his card.
“If this is all you’re going to do then we’ll beat you in no time! I summon Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts! Attack the Lady of Faith!” Gazelle appeared and slashed at the lady, destroying it.
“I’ll end my turn then.” The boy drew.
“I’ll just play one card face down and end my turn.”
“You didn’t even summon a monster this time,” Gimic laughed as he drew, “This is just too easy! I summon the mythic horseman!” Gimic’s centaur appeared and brandished its scythe.
“Attack his life points directly!”
“You activated my trap card!”
“A trap!?” Gimic cried.
“Yes, Mirror Force.”
“No!!!!”
“What does Mirror Force do?” Cassandra asked.
“It destroys all the opponents monsters that are in attack mode. It’s one of the most powerful traps in the game.” Gimic’s horseman swung his scythe at the boy, only to hit a shield instead. Bolts of energy shot from the shield, destroying the brother’s monsters.
“Well then,” said the boy, “I guess it’s my turn. And I’d like to thank you.”
“Thank us?” said Smokey, “For what?”
“For helping me destroy you! In order to summon my most powerful monster, I had to have 1 light and 1 dark monster in the graveyard. Now I remove these two from play! To summon my great destroyer!” the ghosts of the boy’s two monsters appeared and were engulfed in a ball of light.
“Prepare to experience of power like no other! The messenger of Creation!” There was a blinding flash and when the light dimmed, a soldier-like figure was standing there, holding a sword.
“Behold! The Chaos Soldier!” Vincent stepped back in surprise.
“The Chaos Soldier!?”
“Is that thing good?” Cassandra asked.
“Are you kidding!? That thing’s so powerful I really didn’t believe it existed until now.”
“No wonder he was so calm,” Sora said, just look at that thing.” The Beast Brothers were frightened beyond reason.
“And that’s not all,” the boy said, “For now I equip to my soldier, the Axe of Despair! This will raise its attack to 4000!” A black, stone axe appeared and the soldier caught it in its right hand.
“And since you have no monsters, I can destroy any of you in one shot! No Chaos Soldier! Attack Gimic’s life points directly!” The Chaos Soldier dived at Gimic and slashed him with its sword. Gimic was then engulfed in light.
“Gimic no!!” Smokey cried. When the light dimmed, Gimic had collapsed.
Smokey: 4000
Chobo: 4000
Gimic: 0
????: 0
“Your turn,” the boy said mockingly. Smokey drew.
“I play one monster in defense mode,” he said in a shaky voice. The boy smirked.
“I guess it’s my turn then,” he said, drawing a card, “I play Raigeki!”
“Not Raigeki!”
“Yes! This card will destroy your face down card!” A lightning bolt struck Smokey’s monster and destroyed it.
“Now Chaos Soldier! Attack his life points directly!” The soldier struck Smokey and he collapsed like his brother.
Smokey: 0
Chobo: 4000
Gimic: 0
????: 0
“M…m…my turn now,” Chobo said, drawing a card. He then smiled.
“I play one monster in defense mode and this card face down. You’re turn.”
“This is perfect,” Chobo thought, “When he attacks, I’ll spring my trap and destroy his Chaos Soldier.” The boy drew.
“I play Nobleman of Elimination and Nobleman of the Crossout!”
“Not them! Not them!”
“Oh yes! Nobleman of Elimination allows me to take one face down magic or trap card and remove it from play. Nobleman of the Crossout allows me to do the same with face down monsters. So say goodbye to your face down cards!” Two noblemen appeared and attacked Chobo’s cards and destroyed them.
“Now my Soldier, attack his life points!” The same thing happened to Chobo and he was soon on the ground.
Smokey: 0
Chobo: 0
Gimic: 0
????: 4000
“Looks like I win,” said the boy. Sora and his friends were amazed.
“He beat all three of them at the same time,” Vincent said. The cages trapping them lowered back into the ground and the boy walked off.
“Hey wait a minute!” Sora called, chasing after him, “Who are you?” Sora followed the boy into the city. Finally the boy stopped.
“Why are you three following me?” he asked.
“I just want to know who you are,” Sora said, “What’s your name?”
“Raven,” the boy replied, “my name is Raven.”
“Well, I’m Sora. That was pretty amazing how you beat those three.”
“They were easy.”
“It was pretty hard for me to beat them.” Raven started to laugh.
“You must be pretty weak if you had trouble beating them.”
“Hey, I’m not weak!”
“You must be if you found it hard to beat them. I’m probably wasting my time talking to you.” Sora started to get annoyed.
“If you think you’re so good, I’ll duel you and we’ll find out!” Raven smiled.
“I know this will probably be a waste of my time, but if you insist, I’ll be glad to stomp you into the ground!”
“We’ll see!”

Next: Chapter 10: The Messengers of Chaos

Mew Master
8th January 2004, 04:32 PM
Let's see... I noticed a few things. Besides the usual typo here and there.

“Listen up Smokey, you’re opponent just placed Wobaku face down and Great White in defense mode.”
.
.
.
.

“This card costs me 1000 life points, but since it negates your trap card, it’s no great loss. Now say goodbye to Witty Phantom!” The horseman swung his scythe, slaying Sora’s phantom.

Um, methinks you messed up somewhere in there....

“I play one monster face down and summon Mystical Horseman in attack mode.” The figure of Smokey’s centaur appeared.

Here too...

Other than that, its some good writing thus far.

~Mew Master

Mystic_clown
12th January 2004, 04:19 PM
I'll edit it right away.

Chapter 10: The Messengers of Chaos

A crowd of people had gathered around the two.
“Time to loose fool,” Raven said in a mocking voice.
“You’ll loose,” Sora replied. Raven smiled.
“Then prove it!”
Sora: 4000
Raven: 4000
“I’ll start,” said Sora, “And I’ll play Neo the Magic Swordsman in attack mode!” Sora’s swordsman appeared and brandished its sword, glaring at Raven.
“My turn,” Raven replied, drawing, “And I’ll summon Mechanical Chaser in attack mode!” The hologram of a green machine with multiple arms appeared.
“Now attack!!” Mechanical Chaser flew at Neo and slashed it with it’s many weapons, destroying it in a few seconds.
Sora: 3850
Raven: 4000
“My turn,” Sora said. He looked at his card and smiled.
“I’ll play one monster in defense mode and end my turn.” Raven drew his card.
“I summon La Jinn the Mystic Genie of the Lamp! In attack mode!” A gold lamp appeared and a green genie rose up from it.
“Now attack his face down card my chaser!” The Mechanical Chaser attacked the face down card, only to bounce off the Mystical Elf. Sora laughed.
“Sorry Raven, but Mystical Elf withstands your attack. Now it’s your turn to loose life points!”
Sora: 3850
Raven: 3850
“My turn,” Sora laughed, drawing his card, “I’ll play one monster in defense mode and I’ll end my turn. Raven laughed.
“You won’t be able to beat me by playing defensive all day. You wont last long.” Sora growled.
“It’s my move now,” said Raven, drawing “and now I play, Navox’s Prayer! This card forces me to offer up two cards, so I’ll sacrifice my two monsters!” A woman in a red cloak appeared and began praying. The two monsters began glowing and in a flash of light, a soldier in brown armor appeared.
“To summon the Skull Guardian!”
“Yikes!” Cassandra yelped, “That thing’s creepy!”
“Now Skull Guardian, attack the Mystical Elf!” The Skull Guardian struck the Mystical Elf with it’s sword, slaying easily.
“That will end my turn,” Raven said. Sora drew his card and smiled.
“Prepare to loose,” Sora said, “I play Monster Reborn! I’ll use this card to revive Neo the Magic Swordsman!” Sora’s monster reappeared on the field.
“I already destroyed that card,” Raven said calmly, “What makes you think that it will defeat my monster.”
“It’s not.”
“What!?”
“Because I’m going to sacrifice Neo as well as my face down card to summon, the Barrel Dragon.” Sora’s two monsters faded away and the mighty Barrel Dragon loomed over Raven.
“Now attack Skull Guardian!” The dragon fired it’s three cannons, destroying Skull Guardian.
Sora: 3850
Raven: 3300
The crowd cheered. They were having the time of their life. Raven smiled as he drew his card.
“Thanks Sora,” he said.
“Thanks? For what?”
“For helping me!” A psychotic smile appeared on Raven’s face.
“I now remove Skull Guardian and La Jinn from my grave yard to summon, the Chaos Soldier!!” The mighty soldier appeared and brandished its sword.
“Now! Attack Sora’s Barrel Dragon!” With one swipe of its sword, the Chaos Soldier reduced Sora’s dragon to scrap.
Sora: 3450
Raven: 3300
“And that’s not all,” Raven laughed.
“It’s not!?” Sora said, surprised.
“Oh no! Because when Chaos Soldier destroys a monster, it allows me to attack again! Now attack Sora’s life points directly my soldier!!” The attack sent Sora flying back.
Sora: 450
Raven: 3300
“Hang in there Sora!” Vincent cried. Sora drew his card.
“This could help,” he thought.
“I play the magic card Nightmare Steel Cage!!” A spiked cage appeared around Raven.
“So,” Raven said, “you think that stalling for time will help you. Well, just to let you know, it wont work.”
“We’ll see about that. I play one monster in defense mode and end my turn.” Raven drew.
“I pass this turn.” Cassandra growled.
“Look at him. He’s so confident he’ll beat Sora. I can’t wait to see Sora beat this guy.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Vincent thought. Sora drew his card.
“I play another card in defense mode and end my turn.”
“I’ll pass again.” The cage evaporated. Sora drew his card.
“First I’ll play two cards face down and now I’ll sacrifice my two monsters to summon the Emperor Magician!!” Sora’s favorite monster appeared and pointed its staff at the Chaos Soldier.
“Sora’s favorite card!” Cassandra cried, “Raven’s in trouble now!” Raven laughed.
“How is that thing going to defeat my soldier?” he laughed. Sora smiled.
“It will when I play this card. Mage Power!”
“Good move!” Vincent called out.
“Mage Power will increase my magician’s attack and defense by 500 for every magic and trap card on my side of the field. And since I have three, my Magician’s attack is raised to 4000!”
“NO!!”
“Now my Emperor Magician, attack the Chaos Soldier!!” The magician fired a beam of energy at the soldier, destroying it. The crowd cheered.
Sora: 450
Raven: 2300
Raven drew his card and smiled.
“Well,” he said in a smooth voice, “I must say I’m impressed. No one’s ever brought down my Chaos Soldier.”
“Why thank you,” Sora replied.
“But that doesn’t mean you’ll beat my other monster!”
“What!?” Raven laughed.
“This duel ends now! I remove Mechanical Chaser and Chaos Soldier from my graveyard!” The ghosts of the two monsters appeared and were engulfed in a ball of darkness.
“What’s going on!?” Sora cried.
“It can’t be…” Vincent gasped.
“Prepare to face my other monster! The messenger of destruction!” The shaped of a large dragon appeared in the darkness.
“Behold! The Chaos Emperor Dragon!” Raven’s dragon glared at Sora and roared.
“I found it hard to believe he had the Chaos Soldier!” Vincent cried, “I had no idea he had the Chaos Emperor Dragon!”
“That thing’s huge!” Sora cried.
“You’re finished!” Raven laughed.
“What are you guys worried about?” Cassandra growled, “Sora’s magician is still stronger then that dragon.”
“Aah yes,” Raven said, “I must get rid of that! I’ll play Harpie’s Feather Duster! This will destroy all of your magic and trap cards!”
“No!” Vincent growled. A feather duster appeared and with one swipe, destroyed all of Sora’s face down cards, as well as Mage Power, reducing the Emperor Magician’s attack back to 2500.
“Now that that’s out of the way. Time to loose!”
“But Sora can’t loose like this!” Cassandra cried. Sora stood there, not speaking.
“What’s wrong Sora?” Raven mocked, “Don’t have any last words?” Sora just stared at the ground.
“Oh well,” Raven laughed, “Now my Chaos Emperor Dragon! Attack!” The dragon reared back it’s head and fired a blast of black fire at Sora. Sora was engulfed in it.
“SORA!!” Cassandra cried. The fire passed and Sora still stood there, looking at the ground.
Sora: 0
Raven: 2300
The crowd cheered as Raven turned to leave.
“I was right,” he mocked, “You are weak.” Raven turned and walked away. Cassandra and Vincent ran over to Sora, as he fell to his knees.
“Sora,” Cassandra said, kneeling down next to Sora, “Are you alright?” Sora didn’t say anything. He just got to his feet and walked back towards the hotel.
“Sora?” Vincent put his hand on Cassandra’s shoulder.
“Just let him go.”

Next: Chapter 11: Meeting the King