PDA

View Full Version : ~ Will ~ (CCS one-shot)



mr_pikachu
21st October 2006, 02:14 AM
Well, this is something I've been working on during the brief, sporadic periods that I haven't been busy. It's a short story based on the Cardcaptor Sakura anime. There are some unavoidable spoilers here, just so you know.

I've also kept it in the format of CCS, including names, background stories, and honorifics. I'm using CCS rather than Cardcaptors for two reasons. First, I haven't seen Cardcaptors for ages, while I finished watching CCS not long ago. Second, some of the background points wouldn't make any sense under the Cardcaptors format.

Anyway, here are the names of the listed characters in both CCS and Cardcaptors, in case it's confusing without a guide. I may add a version with the Cardcaptors names if you all want it, although I'll have to keep the backgrounds from CCS to keep the integrity of the fic.

CCS NameCardcaptors Name
Sakura KinomotoSakura Avalon
Toya KinomotoTori Avalon
Fujitaka KinomotoAiden Avalon
Syaoran LiLi Showron
Meiling LiMeilin Rae
Tomoyo DaidoujiMadison Taylor
Yukito TsukishiroJulian Star
KerberusKeroberos
YueYue
Chiharu MiharaChelsea
Rika SasakiRita
Takashi YamazakiZachary
Naoko YanagisawaNikki
Yoshiyuki TeradaMr. Terada


...Oookay. After that all-too-long introduction, here's the fic. As always, criticism is highly appreciated.




Will


The man sat next to the television, his unshaven face looking quite out of place in the formal room. The guests were before him, and the video was at his fingertips.

He cleared his throat, and the murmured commotion immediately quieted.

“I’m sure we all know why you’re here today, and what this video is. So let’s get this over with.”

This was not a man who liked his job.

Without a word, he slid the cassette into the VCR. A few whirrs later, and the television screen flickered to life.

“Is it on?”

“Yes, honey, it’s on.”

Fujitaka Kinomoto immediately burst into tears. Even now, he remembered that day quite clearly – it was the only time she had done anything that was remotely responsible. And now, he was seeing her again…

Sakura Kinomoto’s 11-year-old form was sitting on her bed, staring at all of them through the TV screen.

“Okay then, Dad! Um, could I have some privacy?”

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry. Please let me know if you need anything.”

There was a small click, and Sakura turned her face back toward her viewers.

She chuckled nervously.

“Um, hi. I guess something must have happened if you’re watching this, huh?”

No kidding! Toya thought. The monster got hit by a damn bus!

He mentally slapped himself. I’m sorry, Sakura. It’s just so hard…

“Well, um, things have been a little crazy lately. I really don’t know what could happen, and Dad said something about being prepared, so… I thought I’d prepare.”

Wow, way to prepare, Sakura! Syaoran Li thought with a grimace. You write your will when you’re 11 years old, and don’t touch it again for another decade? Brilliant!

His eyes widened in shock for a moment. Syaoran slowly closed them and sighed. Sorry, Sakura. I don’t have the right to criticize you, do I? You actually planned for the worst, even though things always seemed to turn out for the best.

“Anyway, you’re my best friends and my closest family, so I think you should be the ones to hear this. I’d be nothing without all of you.”

Tomoyo Daidouji started sobbing. Oh, Sakura-chan! You’re beautiful, just by being you! You never needed others. You shined on your own, as your own star!

“But, I guess I have a few things to do. So, um, first, Chiharu-chan?”

Chiharu Mihara gasped as a chill went down her spine.

“I know how you love stuffed animals, and I’ve got a little white bear on the corner of my desk. I know it’s not much, but I want you to have that.”

Chiharu’s teary eyes glanced at her handbag. Sakura, you gave that to me for my thirteenth birthday. But you were right. I still do love stuffed animals, and I carry that bear with me all the time…

Sakura glanced to her side, apparently at her notes.

“Rika-chan?”

Rika Sasaki stared at the small television, her eyes wide and her lips trembling.

“I know you love beautiful little charms, and I have a few of those. There’s one with a red heart, and another with a bunny, and… well, I want you to have them.”

But Sakura! I just wanted those for… for Terada-sensei… and he's not… I mean…

Sakura coughed. “Oh, and I wanted to apologize for your swo… I mean, for your pendant.”

My what?

Sakura glanced again at her notes. “Oh, Naoko-chan!”

The timid Naoko Yanagisawa sat up stiffly upon hearing Sakura speak her name.

“I know you’ve always loved books, so I want you to have mine. Especially my fantasy books! I think you’ll really enjoy those.”

Sakura, I love books, but it still doesn’t compare to… this…

“Oh, but I didn’t forget about you, Yamazaki-kun! There are a few joke books reserved for you, since you always seemed to enjoy that sort of thing.”

This is the one time I don’t feel like making people laugh… thought Takashi Yamazaki.

“And, um, Toya-kun,” Sakura continued, “I have… an old calendar. I know you’ll know what it is when you see it… I want you to have that.”

The calendar? Mom's calendar? Great. Now it can remind me of everyone I've lost…

“And I’m not a monster!” she abruptly yelled. Toya’s eyes widened, but he remained silent.

“Dad, finally, I want you to have a dress of mine. It was given to me by an old man last year. I don’t know why, but something tells me that you might want it…”

A dress? Fujitaka thought. Does she mean Nadeshiko’s dress?

He burst into tears again.

“Well, um, there’s just one more thing. I want to, ah, tell a few people something in private. If everyone could leave except Syaoran, Tomoyo, Meiling, and Yukito… thanks. It’s okay, I trust them completely.”

The disgruntled worker raised an eyebrow. But with a sigh, he hit the pause button on the remote control, set it in front of Meiling Li, and left the room. A moment later, Toya, Fujitaka, Chiharu, Rika, Naoko, and Yamazaki followed.

“Come and get me when you’re done in there,” the worker yelled from outside, irritated.

Meiling glanced at her cousin Syaoran before turning to Tomoyo. “Well, you can probably do this better than anyone else here,” she said, handing the remote to the film-lover.

With a trembling finger, Tomoyo tapped the play button.

Sakura snapped back to life, glancing downward for a moment.

“Um, Yukito-san… you can change now. And Kero-chan, I’m guessing you’re here somewhere, too.”

Without a word, Yukito Tsukishiro closed his eyes. A massive set of white, feathered wings abruptly sprouted from his back and surrounded him like a cocoon. Kero peeked out from under Syaoran’s shirt just in time to see the tall, slender form of Yue emerge from between the wings.

Syaoran looked downward at Kero’s small yellow head. “Aren’t you going to get out and transform, too?” he muttered.

“There’s no need,” Kero said, sniffling. “Sakura knew me best as Kero-chan, not as Kerberos. It’s better this way, kid.”

Syaoran grimaced, but didn’t reply to the magical creature sharing his clothes.

“Well, I guess there’s not much left to do but to finish,” Sakura said, prompting all her viewers to turn back to the television.

“Yue and Kero, I want you to go with Syaoran. He’s the Master of the Clow now, so please trust him and help him to replace me.”

Kero’s head sagged in Syaoran’s shirt. While Yue’s icy expression didn’t change, he sadly thought to himself, So we’ve lost another master. It's exactly like what happened before. Will this cycle never end?

“Tomoyo-chan, I want you to have my battle costumes. You worked so hard to make them, so it’s only fair that you should get to keep them.”

But Sakura-chan! I only made the costumes so that I could film you wearing them! It’s not the same for them to just sit there without you!

“And for the Clow Cards and Sakura Cards… Syaoran-kun, Meiling-chan, please divide them between the two of you. Please keep them safe, and pass them down through your families as they grow. I want you to be able to keep them as one last memento of the times we all shared together.”

Meiling only looked downward, crying, while Syaoran stood up in shock. “Sakura! These cards are yours!” he yelled. “They’re not… I mean, they don’t…”

He collapsed into his chair. His gaze drifted to a small, golden ring on his finger. “They’re not you,” he said, his voice cracking.

Sakura smiled, her eyes closed. “That’s it, I guess.”

She walked toward the camera, moving behind it so that she could no longer be seen on the television.

“You know,” she said, “everyone always said I should smile. Well, I don’t want you to stop smiling, either. If I’m not there with you, then I want you to be cheerful for me. So please, smile!”

And yet, as the tape ended, nobody in the room took her advice.

mistysakura
23rd October 2006, 08:17 PM
Wow, someone wrote a CCS fic. You get props just for that. :) Anyway, the fic was nicely done. I like the way you captured Sakura's innocent personality really well, and the characters' reflections on their relationship with Sakura were also good, to the point but not melodramatic. I like the wistful, nostagic atmosphere of the piece, and I still find it ironic that Sakura's mode of death was a bus. However, here comes the criticism. I found that the fic lacked a focal point. Maybe it was because it didn't have a proper climax, but it felt like the fic wasn't going anywhere. You know, Sakura reads out her will, everyone feels sad, the end. It's a one-shot, but usually they too have a defining point where they express whatever the author was trying to get across in writing the fic (I'm not tlaking morals here). I wsn't a fan of the lack of ending either -- to me it jus sort of seemed like, "is that it?" (This ties into the previous point as well.) Maybe flesh it out a bit more. Lastly, your opening of a new paragraph with almost every sentence reminds me of a certain writer we both know. But this sort of worked for this fic, as thoughts are often intertwined with action and dialogue, and the paragraphing was practically a necessity given the large number of characters.

So, to conclude, OMG you wrote something. :p OMG you wrote something CCS.

mr_pikachu
23rd October 2006, 08:32 PM
Ada: Hooray, someone replied to it! ^_^

You make a good point about the lack of focus. My intent with this piece was pretty much to go for a total lack of satisfaction with her death, both on the part of the characters and the reader (although with the latter, not so much dissatisfaction that it made the fic bad). Perhaps I went overboard with that goal, though. I may try to rewrite it a little to make a stronger climax, although I have no idea exactly how to do that in this piece yet.

The lack of a definite ending was part of that goal, as well; I wanted to capture the feeling that you have upon suddenly losing someone - the feeling that, "It can't be over, I'll get to see you again... right?" If I rewrite this, I'll probably tweak that conclusion a little, although I'd like to keep some of that sensation if possible. It's something for me to think about.

And I know what you mean about the paragraphing. I was a bit worried about that, but it seemed to be the best way to make the structure work in this case. Maybe I could lengthen the time spent on each character and/or limit the number of characters... hmm. I agree that it's not aesthetically pleasing, but it'll be tricky to find a way around that. Yet another item to consider.

And yes, I wrote something! And it's a prosaic one-shot, no less! (Every other one-shot I've written has been more poetry than anything else...) Hooray, the writer lives! :D


P.S. And you can criticize me for my lack of writing-ness when you post something, Ada. ;)