View Full Version : Meowth: Love Impossible! (Comedy One-Shot)

Cool-headed Blaziken
6th March 2007, 06:29 AM
Meowth: Love Impossible! (Comedy One-Shot) Rated: K+ to PG

A/N: A tribute to Comic Relief / Red Nose Day. Special thanks to the anime ‘School Rumble’ for the inspiration. Special thanks to the guy of this website (http://www.cc.chu.edu.tw/~marcus/Sound/western.html) for the midi.

A small cat with a coin attached to his forehead was dumping some of the garbage he and his friends made nearby after having some lunch. The cat’s name was Meowth, the talking cat of Team Rocket. He was struggling to dump the big and heavy sack of garbage into the large steel garbage box, placed in an alleyway because of his small size.

“When Jessie and James said to take a short holiday, I didn’t tink it would last a second,” he complained.

He had used some of the trashcans placed nearby as used them as though they were stairs. He struggled to pull the bag up and keep his balance while walking on top of each can until he got to the end as the last one toppled, making the small cat lose his balance and fall into the trash box.

He dug himself out of the garbage and sighed as he hung the top half his body over the side of the box. “How stressful,” he moaned. “I wonder I’ll ever get anything good in any of my nine lives.”

He looked over to the outside of the alleyway and saw a small pink kitten with a lead strapped on to her neck and to a lamppost. “Giggity giggity goo!” he cried delightfully in thought. He felt his heart racing with excitement and judging by the look on his face, everyone, if they were present other than him, could easily tell that he had fallen in love. But then, a somewhat realisation came into his mind while fear struck into his heart. He quickly back hid inside the dumpster.

“If dat Skitty sees me, she’s gonna tink that I’m some alley cat,” the worried Meowth whispered to himself. “I gotta tink of a plan to make sure dat she doesn’t see me.” He spotted a dirty toilet roll placed close to him. “I got an idea!” he cried. “I’ll just wait for a few minnits and then she’ll go away. It’s a test of endurance. Haha!”

Ten minutes later, Meowth slightly rose up from his hiding place, only allowing his eyes to see if the cute little Skitty had moved. What he saw was very frustrating for him. He lowered himself down into the trash box again, crying streams from his eyes. “She’s still dere,” he whimpered. “She’s reading a newspaper too.”

He then spotted a toilet roll and received another idea. “Hey, still got paper dere,” he said as he picked it up.

While he placed his plan into action, a green dinosaur, Tyranitar was walking across the street with a bag of garbage in his paw. “(Stupid Brian and his so-called ‘glamour’ magazines),” he grunted angrily before walking in a dark alleyway. He saw a large trash box, closed. He opened it and saw a small live figure wrapped up in toilet paper. He jumped back in shock.

“Ah-ha! Tony!” the small figure cried, standing up on the pile of garbage. “Just da guy I needed to see. Who am I?”

“(I have no time for games, Meowth),” Tony growled, tossing the bag full of rubbish at the cat, knocking him down before walking away.

Meowth quickly stood back up, surprised that Tony could see through his ‘brilliant’ disguise. “How did he know it was me?” he asked himself. “Wait a minute. Did he call me by my species name?”

Either way, the plan didn’t work.

After ripping the paper off his body, he spotted a small metal can. “I know!” he thought to himself. “I’ll throw dis can, and make it land in front of dat Skitty. While she’s distracted, I’ll a quick and clean getaway!”

He picked up the metal can and stood up. With great aim and throwing, he hurled at his target… and unfortunately hit a black leathered clothed, muscular man who inadvertently walked in the way, getting hit in the head by the dirty can. Shocked, with dismay, of he had just done, he quickly hid back into the trash box, shutting the lid down.

He listened to the beatings and cries going on outside. “It was you, wasn’t it!” the muscular man yelled angrily. “You sure had the guts hitting a man from behind!”

“No, man! It wasn’t me!” the second man yelled. “Someone help me!”

“Right now and fa once in ma life… probably best ta keep Meowth shut,” Meowth said to himself nervously.

A few moments after the fighting stopped, he opened the lid and peeped out. He saw a man dressed in casual clothing crawling along a pavement, with bruises all over his body and dirt all over his clothes. “Ouchie…” Meowth said quietly.

He then let his tears run down from his eyes. “Dah… dere’s nothing I can do…” he whimpered to himself upsettingly. “That Skitty is showin’ no signs of moving… no! I can’t tink like dat!” he said in an determined tone. “I now must do the impossible!”

*Cue Mission Impossible theme (http://msxml.excite.com/info.xcite/clickit/search?r_aid=41963D0F8C66407CA11E5F25FC758F60&r_eop=37&r_sacop=37&r_spf=0&r_cop=main-title&r_snpp=37&r_spp=0&qqn=Xhus2Om0&r_coid=372372&rawto=http://www.cc.chu.edu.tw/~marcus/Sound/mission_impossible.mid)*

He leapt out of the trash box and ran down the alleyway, the direction opposite to where the Skitty was. “Every building has a backdoor,” Meowth said himself. He found the backdoor at the back of the tall building.

“Good ting I’ve been learning karate,” he said to himself as he held his paw up, in a form of doing an attempt of a karate chop. “Here goes nuthin’!” he yelled before leaping towards the door.



That attempt turned out to be a failure. He landed face first into the door and remained there with his paw still raised for a few moments before slowly sliding down until he got to the ground. “I’m gonna demand for ma money back,” he muffled with his face now on the floor.

He quickly got up, now with large red mark on his face. He spotted a drain pipe attached to the wall and decided it to climb up to the roof. It was quite a struggle for him to climb because it was a tall building. Despite that, he used his somewhat great climbing ability and the will to meet the lovely Skitty without her mistaking him for an alley cat. “Yes! I’m almost dere,” he said to himself.


“Huh?” Meowth heard a small piece of metal hitting the ground below. He looked at the drain pipe he was climbing on and saw that there a screw missing. It was supposed to attach the pipe and the wall together. “Please, no…” he begged, hoping that no more screws would come loose.

Unfortunately, a number of screws were coming loose from the wall, falling to the ground below… like a chopped down tree, so did the pipe with Meowth still hanging on to it. “Great,” he moaned, knowing he was in for a great big fall. “My billionth life’s wasted.”


Meowth ended up crashing onto the ground, with the pipe on top of him. Slowly, he moved the pipe off him and sat up. He saw another alleyway. “Maybe I shoulda used dat instead,” he said to himself.

He slowly walked through the second alleyway, with bumps and bruises all over his body, while ignoring all the surroundings around him just to meet with the cute Skitty. Suddenly, he felt he stepped on something bumpy. He heard some nasty growling and hoped that it would be his stomach. But as he looked down, he saw a red and black dog with bones sticking out of his head and body. Meowth nervously stepped back. “Nice Houndour,” he said as the angry dog stood on all fours. “Nice dumb, ugly, vicious, drooling, Houndour.”

Houndour let out a loud roar, now on pursuit of Meowth who tried to make an escape attempt.

Elsewhere, while Meowth was getting a beating, a Skitty with a lead strapped to a lamppost, was listening to a calm yet cheesy tune on her mp3 player.

*End theme*

Sometime later, Meowth was stumbling along the floor, using the walls for support after being almost decimated by the Houndour. He took a peek around the corner and saw that Skitty’s back was showing, meaning that she won’t be able to see him coming out of the alley, much to his glee.

Now feeling rather joyous, despite his injuries, he happily walked out and up to the little Skitty. “Hello,” he cooed, catching her attention.

She turned towards him. “Hello,” the little Skitty mewed in her own language.

“The name’s Meowth. What’s your name?”

“Skitty… can I ask a question? Are you an alley cat?”

Meowth became rather startled by that question. “No. Why d’ya ask?” he asked sheepishly.

“Well, you kinda smell a bit… plus, I recognise that voice from you were talking in that trash box,” the Skitty mewed, letting out a small chuckle.

Mentally, Meowth let out a huge scream of fright, desperation and horror. He needed to find an answer quickly. “No, that wasn’t…”

“Sorry about having to make you wait Skitty,” a woman’s said, inadvertently interrupting Meowth while catching the little kitten’s attention. She was wearing some casual clothing as she untied the lead from the lamppost. “We got to go now. You don’t want to be late with your meeting with your boyfriend, Persian, don’t you?”

The little Skitty let out a cute mew as she followed the woman.

That verbal statement the woman made tripled Meowth’s displeasure as he stood on his spot, completely shocked with utter dismay.

That night in a nearby forest, Meowth’s wailing could be from a distance. He was having his share of a biscuit with Jessie, a long haired spiteful woman, and James, a short haired whiny man. His share of the biscuit was very small compared to his two human partners. They couldn’t but look at him with puzzled looks on their faces while sobbed as his mouth wobbled.

“Meowth, there’s no cry over being smelly from the dumpster,” James said.

“No, Meowth is just sad about the biscuit, it’s the luck of the draw that I got the big piece,” Jessie said.

“You’re wrong! You’re wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!” Meowth wailed miserably. “WA-A-A-A-AH-HA-HA!”


Now, what is Comic Relief / Red Nose Day you ask? It’s one of UK’s biggest charity events involving a lot of comedy and entertainment shows. People all over the UK donate money to this event to help the poor and the needy in Africa and in the UK. A lot of them set up events to help donate money. Here’s a couple of websites describing more and how we can donate…


As you can see, the people you saw in Africa don’t have advantages like we do. For example: they don’t get better education like we do, meaning they may not be able to write their stories like we do and such. So please, for those of you who live in the UK, or have some way to donate money from places other than the UK, please donate some.