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darktyranitar
30th December 2006, 03:01 PM
Right... this is a bit of something I've work on before I'll be send off to the National Service... Late-night writing + listening to music + Mario flash video: this.

If Dragonfree is reading this: Sorry for 'borrowing' your user title (I don't know if you still use it, though...) without asking you first, and Blade: Sorry for 'borrowing' a little scene from P: TIS (it's little, but I'd like to point that out)

To everyone else that appeared in the fic: I know that this is not the best TPM member fic out there (especially if you wanna compare this with the awesome TPML or the funny and weird AFPF), but I hope you'll enjoy this. I hope you're not too mad on how you're potrayed; believe me, writing in late night can do a lot to you, some crazy stuff just come to you at that time.

And thank you to Weasel for making the banner for this fic! ^___^

(P/S: I have never played the DP Pokemon game... ^^;; )


http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y157/jingleweasel/Banners/GoneDP.jpg


Gone DP!


“I'll be back shortly. Don't kill each other in the meantime.”

“Okay boss.”


“Dnatsrednu tnod uoy sgnit diw elddem tond. Ecnob eert…”

Thwack! The Magneton soon found the Rhydon’s fist hitting the back of his steely body, and soon the ground. He looked up dazedly at the Rhydon with an empty, vacant look.

(What? Oh yeah, a Magneton should be genderless, shouldn’t they? Don’t ask…)

“Shaddup.” The Rhydon threatened the Magneton by breathing out a tiny flare through her nostrils, and the Magneton knew that he was at a disadvantage. Slowly gaining speed, he flew up to look for a suitable spot to shield from the harsh sunlight- or to be more exact, to escape from the angry Rhydon- until the other would arrive. And so he searched and searched…


Meanwhile, the Rhydon was pacing around, her tail clumsily slamming on a flower or two. “Stupid mountain… stupid forest… why are we here in the first place anyway…” She stopped pacing and was about to go back to check on the others when she stumbled into an unsuspecting log, almost causing her to fall to the ground. In a second (and a munch), the log was gone, mashed between the teeth of the furious Rhydon.


After circling above the trees for quite some time, the Magneton finally spotted the perfect spot: a large tree with low branch and a lot of leafs, giving plenty of shade. And better yet, the Rhydon was nowhere to be seen near the tree! He was about to leap (of rather, flew) with joy when it turned out that that the Rhydon was sitting under the tree, too busy chewing to notice the Magneton’s presence.

“Crystal? How long have you been here?” He stayed up, careful not to enrage the Rhydon and land himself another Brick Break or two on the head.

The Rhydon looked up, her mouth still chewing on the log. “I never went off,” she spoke between her munching. She paused, and spat the remainder of the log out. “Eww… what was I thinking… anyway, what’s up Dark?”

Back to square one… His eyes drooped, and he floated lower. “Shoot me now...” But upon hearing a snapping sound, he meekly said “Just kidding!”

The snapping sound turned out to be coming above him, and not from below. The Magneton looked up, feeling a sense of dread coming to him- as he noticed a shadow suddenly forming over him- and almost sweat dropped when he realized that a pink mass was coming down at him. He was immediately flattened under the weight of a Lickitung.

“I gotta work on my entrance a bit…” the Lickitung rubbed his butts, but he immediately put on a grin to hide his pain. “Hey, Crystal,” he greeted the Rhydon, only to be answered with a grunt. “Darkie!” he referred to the flattened Magneton. “How’s it going, buddy?”

“Fine,” Dark replied with a dry tone, though his voice was muffled. “Say Blade… can you get your butt off my face? ‘Cause that’d be really great…”

Instead of standing up, the Lickitung- Blade- made a victory sign with his finger. “Hey, Crystal. Check out my Mario-”

His words were cut short, and his face turned into a shade of maroon as he instantly stood up. Holding both paws in front of him- right between his groin- he looked down, and was met with an ever familiar sight- a flash of a Teleport. Soon, he noticed another similar flash above him, followed with the re-appearance of Dark.

Giving a short “ooh”, Blade quickly regained his composure and stood upright, as if nothing had happened. But as best as he tried to hide it, his red face and his heavy breathing was a big give hint to the (low)blow that Dark had just gave him. Should Dark have a mouth, he would be having the biggest grin on his face.

“You little creep… just because you have no…” Blade took a few stifled steps towards Dark and was ready to give him a piece of his mind, but then noticed something. “Oh look, there’s a dent.” Without waiting for the approval/disapproval of Dark, he gave one big lick at the dent, finishing by wiping the spot furiously with his elbow. “There!”

“Gee, thanks very much, Blade man,” Dark spoke as sarcastic as what his tone could get. “Anyway… Crystal’s gonna pay for this!”

Crystal blinked. “Pay what?”

“Yeah, what? Ticket to the movie?” Blade asked.

“Because she left that dent on me....” He then added in an undertone, “Look out Blade, ‘cause you never know when she’s gonna sneak up on you with a Brick Break attack and…”

Crystal gritted her teeth, her fist clenched. “I’ll kill you.”

“Eep! Sorry…” Dark meekly teleported himself to the tree above.

“That was easy…” Crystal said in disbelief. Then, after a while, “Hey! Come back here!”

Blade watched them from the side the whole time, sighing. “I can’t leave you two for five minutes, can I?”


Picking up a twig nearby, Blade started to rake the ground, appearing that to be drawing or writing something. Dark floated down, curious at what was being scribbled. He floated up soon with a slightly annoyed look, apparently not too impressed by what was scribbled on the ground: it showed a Mario stepping upon a Magneton.

“Wow, she sure took a long time, huh?” Dark said, trying to strike a conversation.

“Yeah…” Blade replied, too engrossed with his scribbling.

“I mean… I don’t think one would take so long when they’re taking a leak…”

“Hey, shut up!” Blade pointed an accusing stick towards Dark.

“Yes, boss…” Dark muttered.

“Damn right, I’m the boss! And everyone should know that!”

Snap

Their head perked up as they noticed the rustling that coming from the bushes behind them. Dark floated higher as he eyed the movement in the bushes, his magnet conjuring up spark of electricity. He stopped collecting sparks and slowly began to descend as it acknowledges the two figures that stepped out from the bushes.

“Finally!” Blade flicked the twig aside, hitting Dark right on his middle eye, which incredibly bounced off, leaving him angry and annoyed. Dark might not be too happy, but the Tangela in front of him was- as based on her constant motion of jumping up and down.

“Yay! Lookie, we’re finally here!” the Tangela- a female- spoke in a cheery voice, and she was bouncing up and down, showing no sign of fatigue from her long travelling.

“So what took you so long, Hyperness? And where’s Hinata?” Dark asked, stressing on the second name.

“Sorry guys, but it’s no easier to climb as we get higher. And well…” Hyperness pointed towards her back with a movement of her eyes. “We have a little problem here.” She slowly bends forward, causing a figure to slide out from the depth of her vines: an Eevee.

Dark went closer to the Eevee, his eyes wide. “Hinata! Are you all right?” The Eevee fell to her side, barely able to keep her eyes opened. She held out a paw towards Dark, her mouth muttering words that were barely audible.

“What happened to her?” Blade asked, coming over to check the fallen Hinata.

“I dunno…We were doing fine, walking up to the mountain… and then she just-”

“She just what?” Dark cut her words.

“And then she just fell down, and she was out of breath. And I was ‘fuh-yoo, we were only at the two hundred metre, and she’s already tired’. And then she just… KO like that… Why are you guys looking at me like that? It’s particularly you guys fault too to race us up the mountain!”

“Everyone…” Hinata voice was low and hoarse, but it managed to get everyone’s attention. “Don’t argue… I’m fine… don’t worry about me…” She slowly got up on her feet, but could only manage to stand on a very shaky footing. Blade immediately caught her in his arms before she had the chance to fall back. She gave a short, anguish cry before she fell into a state of unconsciousness.

“Hinata…” Dark said in a hushed voice. Oh no… has the time come?

“Hey… what is going on here?” Crystal asked, slightly surprised to see the small crowd that had began to form, and even more surprised to see that Hinata was unconscious. Everyone didn’t answer, for they weren’t sure of what had just happened to the Eevee.

“She’s gonna evolve soon,” Dark finally said.


“Are we gonna have an Umbreon soon?” Dark asked, more to himself. “No… she seem to sick to be able to evolve tonight… the earliest that the fever will fade down seem to be in the early morning… maybe we’d have an Espeon instead?”

“So… you’re saying that evolution is actually a hell of a hard work?” Blade asked, snapping Dark from his talking-to-himself period.

“It is,” Dark replied, starting to pace back and forth beside the bonfire, causing his metallic body to shine from the fire. “But evolution is good… yessir, it is.”

It was night time now, and they had earlier found a strategic place to camp out for the night- a dry, grass plain located not far from a river, with a few birch tree surrounding them, providing a good shelter should there be a sudden downpour. With the help of Crystal’s fire attack and a lot of dry woods and grass that the others had collected, they managed to make a nice bonfire that would last throughout the night. Hinata was now asleep in a sleeping bag, moaning and groaning occasionally. Hyperness would attend to her, constantly changing the wet towel that was placed around the Eevee’s forehead.

“I remember the day I evolve…” Crystal said, sighing as she reminisced. “The fatigue, the crack, the fire… A grin began to form on her face. “But their screaming… their cry for mercy… hehehe…”

“Sounds like you had a fun time at evolving… in a twisted way.” It was Dark who now sighed. “I didn’t do anything much the day I evolve… Ionly went to the nearest power plan and stole a few thousand kilowatts or so of electricity. Caused a blackout, and I got Electabuzz and Electrode right behind my tail. Hah! Good thing I knew the move Teleport.”

“Yeah, you and your Teleport… *coward* Heh, thank God we Lickitung can’t evolve… And I don’t think a Tangela could evolve too. Isn’t that right, Hyper?” Blade looked over his shoulder, finding the said Tangela running around Hinata in circles, appearing to be hyperactive.

“I… feel so happpppiiieeee! Heeeee!” She chanted in a sing-song manner, unaware that all eyes were on her.

“Is it me, or is Hyperness is a lot hyper tonight?” Dark asked. He suddenly scowled. “I hate it, I hate it, hatehatehatehate hate this whole damn trip and the whole damn people who insisted that I go.”

Crystal and Blade looked at each other, before Blade spoke up. “And you… you’re darker than usual… Dark.”

Dark eyes conjured in a scrutinizing manner. “Do I?” he spoke in a low, hushed voice. “Well, you seem to be blunter… Blade.”

“See what I mean, Crystal? Dark!” Blade grinned, only to receive a scrutinizing gaze from both Crystal and Dark. “Oh… okay. Fine.” He stormed off, but was quick to stick his big, long tongue out at them.

“Actually…” Crystal said after Blade was out of sight. “I only went and bullied some kiddie Oddish the day I evolve.”

“I’m leaving.” Dark said, and he began to make his way towards his camp- an opening on the ground, littered with a lot of wire- rather quickly. “I’m tired…” he muttered, before he dropped like a lead into the hole. There, he began to shake badly, small spark of electricity emanating from his body.

“Wh… what’s happening to me?”


Dark could recall hearing Hyperness calling him out from above (in a rather annoying tone), but he could barely remember what was it that they were talking about, and whether he had somehow caused her to leave him in the middle of their conversation. He only regained his full sense when he heard his name being called for the second time. This time, it was Blade.

“Oh… hey Blade…” Dark said weakly. Blade replied by saying something, though the word was barely audible to Dark.

“Hey, I can barely hear you,” Dark said, raising his volume a bit. This time, Blade’s word was audible to him, although he could only hear bits and pieces out of it.

“What- you mean- didn’t hear me- anyway- Hyperness left- Crystal too- balances out- you listening- why do I even try…”

And he was left alone once again.


The only voice that he could hear was his own- although he had lost control over his speech, and the words were coming out freely from his mouth, unconsciously.

“Dnatsrednu tnod uoy sgnit diw elddem tond. Ecnob eert ed diw sgnit ed des oh tahw. Mmmh, mmh.”


*****

Blade woke up with the most painful headache that he had ever felt. Not only that, he also felt as if he had gained a few pound or so. And there was something weird… it was too silent. Usually, he would either woke up to the shouting of Crystal, or by the occasional shouting of words that made no sense (to him at least) by Dark, among the lines of “Apa di atas?” and “Ini kerja setan!” (He listened to those words for so many times that he had actually memorized them, although Dark never told him their meaning)

Dragging himself to the river, Blade was about to wash his face, but when he took a look at the reflection of his face, he immediately cringed.

“Eeeeeghhhh! What the hell is that?” Looking back at him was a Pokemon that bore a slight resemblance to him –when he was a Lickitung, that is; pink coloured, long tongue, a Jigglypuff-esque curl, and a shorter height and a plumper build. Upon noticing that it was only his reflection, Blade laughed a bit. “Ah… hehe… I’m so scary that I sometime scare myself… wait, wait… you’re telling me that the thing there is me?!”

Blade fumbled to turn around, but then bumped into a slick and tangled tall figure. Blade meekly raised his head to look at the figure- a tall mass of vines that had two stumpy feet and two sets of vine that resemble a hand- before he screamed his heart out and ran all the way to the campsite, not stopping until he crashed to a tree.

It wasn’t long before he felt himself being lifted by a pair of strong and hard hands. He turned around, and was met with a sturdy looking grey behemoth that had magma-red plate attached over various part of its body, giving it the look of an armoured dinosaur. A horn grew out from its forehead, and there was a drill growing out between its eyes.

This time, Blade didn’t scream or run away. Instead, he looked up at the Pokemon’s face, somehow feeling a sense familiarity. “Crystal? ‘Zat you?” The Pokemon- Crystal- nodded. “Wow… this is so…. I mean… me, you…”

Blade stopped, as he heard footsteps from behind. There was two alien Pokemon: the tall mass of vines, and- another one that he haven’t seen before- a fox-like Pokemon with smooth, light brown skin , with something that looks like grass at the tip of its ears, the area between the ears and the tip of the tail. “And they’re…”

“Hyperness, and Hinata,” Crystal addressed the respective Pokemon.

“So how’d you feel, Bladey?” Hyperness asked in her never-changing cheery voice.

“Eh… okay, I guess… although my face look a lot more cartoonish now,” Blade answered in a matter of fact tone. He suddenly grinned. “Hey, did Dark evolved too?”

“That’s the thing; he hasn’t came out yet,” Hinata said, surprising everyone- even herself- with her voice, which sound lighter and fairer compared to that when she was an Eevee. She immediately cleared her throat. “Anyway, we should see how he’s doing.”

“Yeah, lets.” Blade was the first to go, followed closely by the others.

When they arrived at the so-called ‘camp’, they were surprised to find out that Dark was already out. They did expect that somehow- by an unexplainable reason- Dark would evolve too, but what Dark had evolved too was totally outrageous.

They laughed hard until they could barely afford to breathe, and for Blade, it even went until he shed tears.

“Dude…” Blade said between a fit of laughter. “You look like… a spaceship built by drunk aliens!”

It was true; Dark was no longer separated into three different segments. Instead, his middle segment undergoes a major growth, while the other two segments were attached to each side of the middle segment, now shrunken. Dark body shape was rather ovoid, giving him the impression of a flying saucer, and the magnets are now dislocated, no longer attached to any single ball of steel, but rather attached under his long, ovoid body.

“So what?” Dark asked, his middle red eye flaring up. “You guys don’t look so hot either!”

Everyone was laughing so hard that they pay no attention to his words.


“Come on, it’s not too bad,” Blade gave Dark a hearty slap on the back (his other hand was covering the big grin on his face). “I mean, Crys evolved into a Rhydon in armour, Hinata evolved to something that look like a thin Eevee that have leafs stuck on her, Hyper evolve from a walking bushes into an… even bigger walking bushes that now has two hand, I… well, I just got fatter. And you…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know, ‘a spaceship built by drunk aliens’. Man… talk about looking like a loser…”

“Of course you are a loser!” Dark looked up at Blade crossly. “You, me, them...” Blade addressed to the other three. “Some guy in those bushes there…” He pointed toward a bush. “Those losers…”

A van suddenly leapt out from the bushes without any prior warning, causing Dark to jump up in surprise. As everyone went to see what the sudden noise was, Blade looked at his finger and exclaimed “Magic fingers! Cool!”

Finding a van up here in the mountain forest area was one thing, but what surprised them more was that the van was covered with bright coloured floral design, clearly showing that it was a hippie’s van. “I hate hippies,” Dark muttered.

The van screeched to a halt, and out from the front seat came a Pokemon that they have never seen before. The Pokemon look like a fox, but it stood on two feet. Most of its body part was blue in colour, save for a yellow patch on its belly and chest and a black patch that covers its foot, fist, and across the area around its eyes- which were closed for now. Spike prod out from its chest and from both its paws. The Pokemon slowly opened its eyes- revealing a pair of red eyes- and was about to say something when it immediately wrinkled its nose.

“Er’right, which one of ya land lubbers didn’t take the bath today?” The fox-like Pokemon growled- speaking in a pretentious and apparently not genuine pirate accent- and immediately sprayed inside the van with what appeared to be a can of air freshener. A low music (which sounds like a hippie’s song) was played from inside of the van, but they couldn’t see who or what was inside the van. After he apparently used up all of the content in the can, he tossed the can aside, and began to do what appears to be a dance- a badly done at that.

As everyone stared in confusion- jaws dropped and sweat dropping- the Pokemon face scrunched up into a more serious façade. “Now that I have your attention,” he spoke in a more serious tone, no more pirate accent, but somehow had an air of arrogance. “I’d like to remind you that I hail from the DP Secret HQ…”

Dark elbowed (Hey! He has no elbow!) Hinata. “Hey, notice something familiar about this gesture? And that song faintly playing? And the stupid dance?”

“Yeah… I think they’re…”

“And coming over in the Mother ship; a chunk of rainbow coloured metal…”

“What is he? A street performer?” Blade asked out loud.

“Behold! Your saviour! For I am…”

“God… here it comes…” Dark groaned.

“Chaaaaaaarles…. Legennnnnnnnnd!”

“Pirate meet Dude Love meet Mister Kennedy; how original.” Dark said, rolling his eyes. “Come on, everyone. Boo him!” Dark immediately booed, but the rest of them (minus the Pokemon) just gave him a scrutinizing eyebrow. “What? Don’t you guys know that Dude Love suck, and that Mister Kennedy was the one that killed Eddie… oh, forget it.”

The Pokemon leapt up the roof of the van, raising a hand up. “Legend,” he spoke, apparently enjoying the sound of his own voice. In the background, Dark continued to boo, and everyone else continues to give him the strange look. He looked down at the crowd, and he felt proud of himself. “At least they didn’t run away like the others I met the other day,” he told himself. He jumped down and held one paw out. “So, what do you guys say? It’s simple… join the winning side, or die!”

Everyone looked at him with their jaws dropped and eyes wide, as if he had just told them to shoot themselves on the head.

“Not a chance, mister whoever-the-hell you are! We sure as hell don’t want to join some phoney pirate who rides around in a hippie’s van, and watches too much wrestling!” Dark spat out. Everyone shushed him, but it was too late. The Pokemon named Charles Legend closed his eyes, opening them to reveal that they were glowing with an eerie blue aura. Dark then reeled backward, blasted by what appears to be a psychic blast.

Dark was quick to get back on his feet (How funny… he doesn’t have one), but instead of the usual “Ouch” or “Ow” or “What the hell” that everyone had expect him to say, Dark muttered the word: “Hmm, hmmm. What ho sed de t'ing wid de t'ree bonce. Don't meddle wid t'ings you don't understand.”

“WTF?” everyone shouted- in those exact words, yes: W – T – F. Even Charles Legend was shouting the words. Dark body began to flash, and in a blink, he was gone; gone in a Teleport.

“That… sucks…” Blade said, as everyone else went silent, their eyes fixed on the spot where Dark had disappeared. “Anyone up for charades?”

“Lackeys, attack!” Charles Legend shouted- truly not in the mood for funs and games right now. On cue, the van rattled, and about a dozen purple and beige coloured Pokemon that looked like a combination of a cat and skunk rushed out, each one of them with a dazed and blank look on their face (smelling a strange mix of thrash-stink and the fresh scent of a floral air freshener).

The Pokemon then turned around so their back would face the 4 ‘mon group, and hoisted their tails up. Everyone worst fear became true. Thick, dense green smoke came out, quickly shrouding the area- they suspected that it was actually the ‘gas’ of the Pokemon, and that thought gave them wings to escape the hell out of the thick smoke; the thought of being suffocated in ‘gas’ would be both embarrassing and disgusting. After a long, moment that felt like forever, they managed to escape the thick smoke- the thick smoke assaulted all their senses that they were powerless to launch any successful attack, unless if coughing, crying, and cursing also count as attacks. They took in deep breath of fresh air, but the temporary sense of victory was immediately cut short when they heard the word “Fire!” from behind, and they were trapped again; trapped in a huge ring of fire that seem to cover an area for about 20 feet in diameter.

As everyone figured out where the fire could have came from, Crystal took one step ahead of them. She slammed her fist on the ground, sending shockwave around them that not only took out the fire, but the skunk-cat Pokemon that were making their way towards them as well. And with that, Crystal fell down; apparently, her body still couldn’t adjust with her new power.

“Crystal? Crystal! Uh-oh.” Hyperness noticed that the Pokemon were quick to recover from Crystal’s attack, and she knew that they had to find a way out. Noticing an unguarded opening that was only a few feet from them, she whispered to Crystal, Hinata, and Blade, “Hold on tight.” Screaming like a banshee, she extended her vines and wrapped around their body- ignoring their protest- and began to run for their dear life. However, she had forgotten to calculate the heavy mass of the newly-evolved Crystal, and so they were sent tumbling to the ground, and soon found themselves rolling towards their escape route. Hyperness gave a silly grin, recalling a song that she used to hear with a perversely sense of nostalgic. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling…


“Damn,” Charles simply muttered, punching the side of the van. The van moaned in protest to the punch. “Great… another escaped batch. Now how am I going to answer this to Chris?”

He called his men, and each of them returned to the van with the same dazed and blank look on their face; the one similar when they got off the van in the first place. I hate hippies, but they’re the cheapest lackey that I could afford now, Charles thought, sighing. As the last one entered the van, Charles patted him on his back.

“That was better than the last time, Mike. And… ughhh, you stink.” As he said this, he made a face.

“Thank you, boss,” the skunk-cat said in a typical sleepy and druggy hippie’s voice.

“Truth Love, take us out of here,” Charles sighed as he got to the front seat. The driver, a hippie Blaziken- with a rainbow coloured bellbottom, silly looking glasses and horrible afro hairdo- spoke nothing as he started the engine up.

“Boss! Boss! Wait up!” a voice called out, barely heard over the roaring of the engine. Charles flinched with irritation; it was Ricky, the worst and the most useless lackey that he has.

“Give me a good reason why you’re late, or I’ll cut your pay check, Ricky,” Charles spoke with a sense of urgency in his voice, never looking at Ricky.

“It’s… because… of… this, boss…” Ricky was breathless; he was carrying something on his back. Interested, Charles’s head peeked out, and he was pleasantly surprised to see what Ricky was carrying on his back.

“Good job, Ricky… whew, you sure save my neck this time. You deserve a raise… of one penny.”

With that, they left with a sense of proud, proud that their hunting proved to be fruitful after all.

And they left the trees to burn behind them.


*****

They slowly got up, brushing the leaves and twigs that were stuck among their body. Their adrenaline was still pumping from the rolling down the hill, and they were hyperventilating.

“I didn’t think I’d say this… but… that was… fun,” Hyperness said between her panting. Hinata opened her mouth to say something, but she was panting heavily that no words came out. Crystal grunted in reply and crossed her arm, apparently not affected by the rolling like the rest of them.

“Where is Blade, anyway?” Hinata asked. This caught Hyperness and Crystal in surprise; they immediately looked around, and true enough, Blade was nowhere to be seen.

“Well… maybe he’s just a few feet behind us?” Hyperness suggested.

Crystal shook her head. “I don’t think so. If he is around here somewhere, he’d probably be screaming his ass of by now.” She glared at Hyperness. “You sure you scooped him with you back up there?”

“Uhh…” Hyperness stared at Crystal with a blank look. She then scratched her head.

“Great… just great… First, it was Dark (curse that jerk!), and now it’s Blade. Great…”

“What do you think we should do now?” Hinata asked.

“Well… first, we find Dark; he usually teleport back to the same spot that he teleported after a while. And then… Pow!” Crystal slammed her right fist into her left palm, producing a sickening cracking sound, of rock meeting rock. Hyperness and Hinata cringed at the sound. “And then- only then- we look for Blade.”


*****

Blade couldn’t remember what had happened during the ride to the DP Secret HQ- it was the place that Charles Legend was taking him to, and he heard him speaking of something about “joining the winning side”, but he was not so sure- the scent of pot smoke and the cat-skunk’s cat was nauseating that he could barely breathe. He saw darkness after that, and the next thing he knew, he was lying with his back on a wall, in a dark room that look more like a dungeon: the walls and ceiling are bare, except for a metal door at the far end of the room, and a few lantern above him that just barely illuminated the room.

Somehow, Blade felt a sense of déjà vu- no, it’s more of a premonition… or maybe even a memory- he felt a chill running in his spine, as one single terrible image filled his mind…

Snap! Blood curdling screaming. Ten fingers dropped on the floor… one by one.

He then knew; he knew why this all seem so familiar. And somehow, he doesn’t feel so afraid anymore; his face was curled up in a scowl, resenting on those lowly copycats...

He hears the creaking of the metal door being opened, and he was momentarily blinded by the light from outside. As his eyes became adjusted to the light, he realized that three figures were making their way towards him. One of them was the fox-like Pokemon that introduced himself as Charles Legend, while the second one was the cat-skunk that had attacked him and the rest of them earlier. The third one- it had a real chilly aura surrounding him that anyone would shudder in his presence- was something that bears a close resemblance to a Sneasel, only that it has something that awfully look like a crown sticking out from his head, and a grin that was more sly and eviller than those of Sneasel’s.

“Mister Blade… or should I say… Blademaster.” He spoke in a smooth, British accent.

“Chris… Chris 2.0…” Blade didn’t know why that word suddenly came out from his mouth, and he didn’t know why the Sneasel-like Pokemon called him Blademaster, but he didn’t seem to find the voice to ask that question.

“You know me? Oh good, no need for introduction then. Now, let’s get down to business shall we?”

“Pokemon: The I Syndicate.” Blade said between clenched teeth.

“Excuse me?” Chris asked.

“Pokemon: The I Syndicate,” He laughed this time, and hung his head low.

Charles approached Blade. “You answer Chris’s question, or…” He put the spike of his arm on his neck gently, and pulled it slowly to the other side of his neck- he stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes up, mocking someone being slit on the throat. “Dead meat, a-ha!” He laughed merrily in his fake pirate accent.

“No,” was Blade’s answer.

“No?”

“Copycats…” Immediately, he felt a chill on the area below his neck- which was now encrusted with thin layer of ice, immobilizing his move. He rolled his eyes. “You see what I’m talking about? Stealing some wrestlers move, using some fake pirate accent crap…” Charles had a hurt expression on his face upon hearing this. “…and now… plagiarizing a scene from a fanfiction- my own at that! From the room to this icy prison… it’s all from my fanfiction! Hah! I bet you’ll threaten to snap my fingers off one by one next!” He glanced at the skunk-cat Pokemon. “You!” The Pokemon looked up at him nervously. “I bet you’re the substitute for the Houndoom. Pff, you guys stink (pun intended).”

“Oh, be quiet.” Chris flicked his claws, and Blade’s tongue was instantly frozen solid. Chris grinned evilly, proceeding to lightly scraping Blade’s frozen tongue with the tip of his claw. “Well, what do you think? For the sake of difference, what say you if I break your tongue off instead of your fingers?”

“Ngaw, ngaw!” Blade said with his tongue awkwardly stuck out and frozen- and should his tongue is not frozen, they would have heard his words as “No, no!” Blade couldn’t lose his tongue; for a tongueless Lickitung is equivalent to a runner without leg, a boxer without hands, and a sniper without eyes.

“Awkeh, a’ve desahzed.” (Okay, I’ve decided) Chris seems to grasp at the message that Blade was trying to convey, so he removed his claw from his tongue.

“Good boy,” he patted Blade on his head- and how Blade wished to say that he was not he was no ones ‘boy’.

“Come on, say it.” Chris turned around to the skunk-cat Pokemon. “Ricky, be sure to ready the fire, okay?” The skunk-cat Pokemon nodded, and turned around. “Ah, yes… Say ‘I will join the Bad-ass DP Club from here to eternity’. Half-intelligent speech allowed.”

Blade didn’t see much of a choice; join these losers, or lose his tongue… Suddenly, these losers doesn’t seem too bad for him. “A… way…” He began but at the moment, Blade was thinking, “Oh God… let there be randomness.”

A prayer being answered.

The room suddenly shook, and Blade exclaimed “Woot!”

“What the hell was that?” Chris shouted at the top of his voice, cold smoke coming out from his mouth. The room only continued to shook harder, and the three of them- Chris, Charles, and Ricky- stepped away from Blade, and was unaware that the ceiling right above them was starting to crack.

And before they knew it, they were crushed by what sound like a rock that came crashing down from the ceiling above. After the initial crush, the rocky thing sparked with electricity before it floated up, and came back down, crushing the poor Pokemon below its weight.

“I thought you were on our side!” Chris said in a half-screaming and half-talking. The rocky thing didn’t stop there; it went and floated up, then came crashing down, float up, and crash down, and float up again… the living rock continued the process until the scream from the Pokemon below turned into soft moan, and until it all ceased altogether.

The living rock then stepped towards Blade, and he could clearly see its form now: something so peculiar, yet something that was familiar to Blade… what was it again? Toy Story? It’s Mister Potato Head! True, the thing is what Mister Potato Head would look like if he was petrified into a bluish-grey stone, his nose turned into a solid, geometrical form with the colour of bright red.

“Hehe! It’s a-me, Mario!” He spoke in a cheerful, Mario-like voice.

“Now that’s random!” Blade thought, as the Mister Potato Head look-alike rock crushed the icy prison with his forehead. Bam. Bam. Bam. Blade was freed from the icy prison, save for his frozen tongue, which awkwardly dangled from his mouth.

“Here we go!” The Mister Potato Head rock charged a ball of electricity in his... stubby arms, but Blade quickly told him to stop with a wave of his hand.

“Hello!” The Mister Potato Head rock stopped charging, and he waited; they waited. They waited and waited and waited… (The Mister Potato Head rock crushed the three beaten up Pokemon in the process because one of them made an attempt to stand up) until the ice from Blade’s tongue finally began to melt, colour slowly beginning to return on it.

“God, that was scary,” was the first coherent word that came from Blade after his tongue was frozen by Chris 2.0. He began to work on a stretching for his tongue- letting it to curl up, then uncurling it, before curling it up again. He felt good once again. “So, Mister Mario… or whoever you are… you know a way out of here?”

“No, I’m not a raccoon,” the The Mister Potato Head rock answered, in the Mario voice. Blade was about to smack him when- unexpectedly- he said in a rough voice, “Like the hell I know, dude.” Before Blade had a chance to reply, he added, “This place is heavily guarded by those radical DPian fools, you know? So unless you happen to be a ghost, or you can teleport us out of here, then we’re pretty much screwed. Look, don’t count everything from me; no one is perfect except the captain, and I sure ain’t the captain here. I’m no boss either.”

Boss… Dark… Teleport… Dark teleporting away… Blade almost went berserk remembering it, but at the same time… he felt… something, as he recalled the image of Dark teleporting away. It was not hate, but a sense of learning…

He knew how to teleport.


In a few moments, they were out of the base, driving down their road to escape in the hippie van that they had found conveniently parked in front of them when the Teleport attack was perfectly executed. After gang-banging upon an unsuspecting hippie-Blaziken, and rummaging through his hair, they found the key, and they were off.

“So… you turn out to be mimicking a Teleport attack without realizing it… that’s cool,” The Mister Potato Head rock said, now seated in the front seat. On the driver seat, Blade was grinning like mad.

And then they were silent, only with the radio playing in the background. It was some song that he didn’t know- it sounds more like hip-hop than anything. He couldn’t remember the lines of the song, except the line “Money, money, money… root of all evil…”

“So, Mister Mario…” Blade said, turning off the radio. “Is that your real name?”

The Mister Potato Head rock turned around- which is not easy, considering that he has no neck to turn his head around; beside, his whole body is his head. “You can call me Mario; either that, or Mister Potato Head, and maybe even The Rock, yeah! But, don’t you be thinking of calling me by my real name, k?”

“Which is… what? Mister Gay?” Blade chuckled, but immediately stopped himself as Mario glared at him. “Uh… okay, I’ll just shut up… okay, maybe one more question: what does DP means?”

“Shut up, and keep driving.”

And they were silent again… until they reached a tollhouse. Blade looked out, and made a face.

He looked at Mario. “We have to find some coins, Mario. We have no money,” he spoke in an Italian accent- after a scene from a fan-made Mario and Luigi movie; it was “Mario and Luigi goes to Vice City”.

Mario raised an eyebrow. “What? You expect me to say, ‘Leave a-that to me-a!’ and go smash a brick wall like the idiot I am?” He reverted back to the Mario voice.

“Okay, okay… Gee, why can’t you be a little funnier… Oh look, it’s a turtle.”


*****

“Okay… so Dark is STILL not here… so, shouldn’t we get moving or something?” Hyperness asked, her body shaking slightly- evolution had restricted her from bouncing up and down the way she used to when she was a Tangela.

Crystal took down a charred remaining of a tree- half of the tree around the area was burned down- with her drill and horn. Unlike Hyperness, evolution enhanced her anger instead of harnessing it. Watching them both from the side was Hinata, remaining quiet and somehow look quite fragile, even after her evolution.

“Lookie, there’s the tire mark.” Hyperness pointed out to the tire mark left on the ground, going through some undergrowth. “So errr… shouldn’t we be chasing them or something?”

“No!” Crystal shouted, crushing the tree with a swing of her tail. “I won’t go yet- not until-”

She stopped, as she noticed a familiar flash above her. Everyone else also looked up, knowing well what the flash is. “Speak of the devil.”

“Hey, everyone,” Dark said. “I’ve met The Dude.”

Of course, Crystal and Hyperness couldn’t wait any longer; in fact, they started to beat Dark up at the precise moment that he had teleported, throwing in punch, kick, vines, horn and drill. “Oh? What was it that you were saying?” Crystal finally asked when she was sure that she had beat Dark up so bad that he won’t be able to stand up anymore. And unfortunately, he could still float up, as if the beating was nothing to him.

“The Dude. I’ve met him, and I learn the truth… about me, and you… and the DP… Here,” A piece of photograph appeared in one of his magnet, and everyone went to see what it was. They raised their eyebrow as they looked at the picture: it shows a monkey that wore a green shirt with white dots all over it, and it had the most surprised face that a monkey could possible have on their face.

“A monkey?” Hyperness asked.

Dark nodded. “Yes, a monkey. You see in the 9 days I was with him…” He paused. “Time difference, okay? Anyway, it turned out that he was calling me out- which mean that I did not ran off on that day… I mean, just now. And he told me that you’d guys be okay, so he teach me a bit of clairvoyance, and some other psychic crap. And in the last day, he told me the secret of the DP- which is you and me, that guy named Charles Legend, and about a hundred more Pokemon… He also claimed that he ‘kick-ass more than Pansy Mew or the ugly Aruseus’.”

“So he’s claiming that he is a god?” Hinata asked.

Dark closed his eyes. “Maybe, but he didn’t openly state that he is one… Yeah, and he also says that a battle will took place here… about now.”

As if on cue, a Torkoal suddenly blasted out from the undergrowth where the tire marks when to, and unfortunately for him, he was blasted straight into a rock, shattering his shell and inside until he was nothing but a pile of blood and meat. The same hippie van that came to them before pulled up in front of them, but the driver and the passenger turned out to be Blade and some Mister Potato Head look-alike rock Pokemon that they had never seen before.

“DPian! Let’s get out of here!” The Mister Potato Head look-alike rock shouted in a somewhat Mario-like voice. Reluctantly, they got inside.


“I’ve been thinking…” Dark said.

“Yeah?” Blade asked from the driver seat.

“About what The Dude- the monkey- said about having a battle right here…” He groaned, as he was almost crushed by Crystal, Hyperness, and Hinata, who where having a hard time to fit in the small space of the van. “Somehow, I think he meant the battle of ‘who get the seat of the van first’.”

Blade let out a stifled laughter. “Yeah, have fun back there buddy…” He turned on the radio. The song ‘Smack my bitch up’ by Prodigy was playing, much to his delight. “So, Mister Mario… what is exactly is the DP that we’re talking about here? Dumbass Pokemon? Da Powerful? Daddy Poo?”

“Doggie Pee,” Mario answered fast. He then grunted. “Eh, I wish I know what it means too… I have no idea who came out with that term to refer to us, the 4th Gen of Pokemon… or whatever it is.”

“Oh… I thought it stands for Display Picture… do you use MSN?”

“Heck, no; I use AIM.”

“You SHOULD use MSN: It’s free, it’s fast, and it’s easy… so easy enough that even I can use it.”

“Yeah… okay, I might.” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Gen?” Dark asked, wrestling his way out of the crowd behind.

“It’s short for generation, dude…” Blade answered, his eyes narrowed with sarcasm. “So tell me, Dark… what does this… The Dude, what did he tell you about the DP?”

Dark closed his eyes again. “Disease. That’s what he told me the DP is- a disease that change us from a once good looking Pokemon to some ugly Pokemon, twisted from our former self.”

“Hey, you think that this mountain has something to do with our evolution?”

“Maybe… maybe that’s why I had this strange feeling the night before I evolved…”

“You always feel weird, so we can never be so sure.” Blade yawned.

“Yeah…” Dark made no attempt to retaliate. He sighed. “Why do I have to evolve again?”

“I thought it was you that said that evolution is good. Beside, I don’t think we look too ugly… I mean, we could have looked much worse… And I bet there’s a lot of other ugly DPian- that sounds retarded- just waiting to be found.” Dark didn’t say anything in reply, he only groaned. When the song was finished, Blade asked, “Hey Dark, do you think that we all have a true name? That our name now is not our real name?” Blade could feel himself slowing down the van. “Somehow, I think that I my actual name is-”

“Blademaster,” Dark finished.

“How’d you know? Wait… lemme guess… The Dude told you that?”

“Yep; he even told me the real name of our group: I am DarkTyranitar, Hyperness is Hyperness is a Good Thing, Crystal is Crystal Tears and Hinata- well, get this- is Hinata. Why is her current name also her true name? I dunno.”

“Hm… you know… our true name is just our name now added with some extra word at the end… what’s the significance behind it, huh?”

“I don’t know… I guess it’s some kind of revelation… maybe it even give you a sense of power… I mean, don’t you feel something when you learn your true name; a feeling of discovering yourself?”

“Yeah… I feel that it’s quite a long name. Just stick with Blade for now.”

“Suit yourself…” He then looked up at Mario. “Hey, Blade. Don’t you wanna know the true name of our Mister Potato Head here?”

Blade grinned. “Sure!” Mario looked as if he was about to explode.

Dark looked as if he was about to yell, his body expanding slightly. “Okay… his true name is Mega Hor-” Before Dark could finish, Mario gored him with his forehead, sending both of them crashing into Crystal. Dark could only gulp, as he was now like a sandwich- trapped between two angry rock Pokemon; angry rock Pokemon that couldn’t wait to get their hands on him.

“Ini kerja setan!” He shouted, and Hyperness only laughed at him while Hinata raised an eyebrow at those words.

And they left the mountain area, with a strange feeling of revelation inside their heart.


A/N:
-The strange word that Dark muttered (the one that Blade remembered) is actually some Malay words:
Apa di atas?: What’s up?
Ini kerja setan!: This be the devil’s work!
You don’t know? Now you know! ;)
-The Dude… Truth Love… now what happen if we changed the place of ‘Dude’ and Truth’? Does it mean anything to you? ^^
-Muffin points for anyone who can guess what song I borrowed the line for the words that Dark had spoke in the starting of the story- the one same when he went to sleep (can you see the connection between those words and the words that Dark spoke at Charles Legend before he Teleported away?)- and the song that was played on the van’s radio when Blade and Mario was running away. Want the answer? Good luck waiting; I’ll be gone for three month. Have a happy song-hunting! (If you’re so curious, which I doubt it)

Charles Legend
30th December 2006, 05:45 PM
Err it seemed a bit rushed, but thats fine for a one shot, and I thoght it was funny that Charles had a bunch of skunks as his underlings and that Ricky was one of them....;)


“Good job, Ricky… whew, you sure save my neck this time. You deserve a raise… of one penny.”

LOL that's right I would only give rick a 1 ¢ pay raise in real life sas well if I was his boss... ;) anywas it was good to see that I got the role ofa bad guy, to bad Charles was defeted quickly... anyways over all this fic is good....

~Charles Legend

darktyranitar
31st December 2006, 11:33 AM
Charles: Yeah, I think it was a bit rushed too... Oh well, had fun writing this one. And yeah, you noticed Ricky! Yeah, Charles was taken down very quickly- guys who talk a lot usually go down fast.

Anyway, thanks for the reply! At least I can go to the National Service in peace now... I think.

Blademaster
31st December 2006, 02:12 PM
XD

Now THAT was random! I'm nominating this for the SP's - I've never seen a fic this bizarre and yet also so clever. The characters were spot-on (In more ways than one, heh heh), the storyline was pretty good for such a random story, and the references to P:TIS made me feel special - like I'm actually doing something right with that train wreck of a fic. :sweat2:

Overall, well done, Faiz - you've made this mentally-unstable old Lickitung proud. :yes:

Keep up the good work. :wave:

Sike Saner
16th January 2007, 06:03 PM
Oh, frell...XD That was so bizarre; I loved it. ^^ Especially because...IT CONTAINED THE NOSEPASS EVO THING! That is, in my opinion, THE single most ridiculous Pokémon ever. I just love the silly thing, and was glad to see it here since any story having to do with the new evos brought about by the 4th generation must contain THE most hilarious one of them all. ^^

As for my favorite moment in the entire piece, however, that would actually be this:


“Of course you are a loser!” Dark looked up at Blade crossly. “You, me, them...” Blade addressed to the other three. “Some guy in those bushes there…” He pointed toward a bush. “Those losers…”

A van suddenly leapt out from the bushes without any prior warning, causing Dark to jump up in surprise. As everyone went to see what the sudden noise was, Blade looked at his finger and exclaimed “Magic fingers! Cool!”

Funny as frell. ^^