Let's discuss fighting

[Link]

Recently, I was asked to quit fighting in a topic on the video game board. I was also asked why, if I started it, that I can't take crap when I myself start fights. The thing is that I can take so much before I can go completely animated and borderline crazy, because people tend to talk down other people who know a lot more than they do. Fighting is alright sometimes to me, because I've been fighting for many things my whole life and don't intend to stop now.

[MeLoVeGhOsTs]

Everyone has had shit and everyone has had to fight, but that doesn't make it a good way of dealing with things.

Be friendly and they will be friendly. In general. So don't go crazy if someone isn't nice to you.

[Link]

I'm a Christian. I have to fight.

[Gavin Luper]

Well, assertiveness is the best spot to land on the passive-aggressive continuum, I believe. If you are too passive, you'll resent the people who walk all over you. If you are too aggressive, you are trampling other people and hurting them in your wake.

If you assert yourself, you can fight and stand up for yourself, refusing to let other people walk over you and put you down, and without crossing the line and infringing on their boundaries, either. Hoorah.

Thus, fighting is good IMO. Essential, even. But it has to be done right.

[DarkestLight]

I'm a Christian. I have to fight.

I'm black. I have to shoot you with my gun held sideways now.

The hell does your statement even mean in context to the OP?

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Efesus 6:11-18
6:11 Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. 6:13 For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand. 6:14 Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness, 6:15 by fitting your feet with the preparation that comes from the good news of peace, 6:16 and in all of this, by taking up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 6:18 With every prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and to this end be alert, with all perseverance and requests for all the saints.

This is what comes to my mind from that comment.

Meh, I have never been in fights. Perhaps that's why I never grew up.

[Link]

I'm black. I have to shoot you with my gun held sideways now.

on Earth does your statement even mean in context to the OP?

I'm black too. I bet if you would come to Paterson, NJ, you'd get mopped on.

[Asilynne]

Efesus 6:11-18
6:11 Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. 6:13 For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand. 6:14 Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness, 6:15 by fitting your feet with the preparation that comes from the good news of peace, 6:16 and in all of this, by taking up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 6:18 With every prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and to this end be alert, with all perseverance and requests for all the saints.



This is what comes to my mind from that comment.

Meh, I have never been in fights. Perhaps that's why I never grew up.


That quote speaks of armor, breastplates, shields...all of which are DEFENSIVE tools. Nothing about that quote says "fight people" it basically just says to defend yourself from evil when it presents itself.

Another good quote is choose your battles. I personally don't see fighting as a bad thing but make sure it's about something important otherwise it's a waste of time.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

That quote speaks of armor, breastplates, shields...all of which are DEFENSIVE tools. Nothing about that quote says "fight people" it basically just says to defend yourself from evil when it presents itself.

That's a good point, it just somehow came to my mind first from the 'idea' of Christianity + fighting. Though it does mention 'sword of the Spirit'. But sword can be used for defence too.

[Lady Vulpix]

I hate fights. I always have. I will stand up for myself and the people I care for, or for anyone against whom an injustice is being committed. But I strive to avoid violence, because it only engenders more violence and in the end a lot of people are hurt and everyone's worse off than they were at the beginning. So I will only fight when I've run out of alternatives. In my experience, the only good thing that may come out of a fight is the knowledge of how to avoid similar fights in the future.

[MeLoVeGhOsTs]

Also, you drag religion into fighting again and I swear I'm coming to get you. White or not:D

[Gavin Luper]

I hate fights. I always have. I will stand up for myself and the people I care for, or for anyone against whom an injustice is being committed. But I strive to avoid violence, because it only engenders more violence and in the end a lot of people are hurt and everyone's worse off than they were at the beginning. So I will only fight when I've run out of alternatives. In my experience, the only good thing that may come out of a fight is the knowledge of how to avoid similar fights in the future.

A fine sentiment indeed.

[Blademaster]

Be friendly and they will be friendly. In general.

Well said.


I'm black. I have to shoot you with my gun held sideways now.

Also well said.


I'm a Christian. I have to fight.


I'm black too. I bet if you would come to Paterson, NJ, you'd get mopped on.

Not as well said: I'm sensing some contradiction here...

[Lady Vulpix]

Where's the contradiction? He's Christian, he's black, he lives in Patterson, NJ, and he thinks being Christian forces him to fight, and he gets mopped on, and he believes the latter is a result of being black and living in Patterson.

At least that's what I could interpret from what he said.

[Magmar]

I try to avoid fighting when I can. Being both witty and strong has helped in that people avoid messing with me. I haven't been in a physical fight with punches thrown since 6th grade. I did get wasted and punch someone several years back but that was really stupid and if I got my ass beat I would've deserved it. It's a really wrong action on my part, and I felt bad and bought the dude some beers and we ended up partying til 5 in the morning. (Lesson: Don't throw a full plate of food into the street in front of starving, drunk state school kids and brag that you have a ton of money and go to the private school up the road. Magmar will punch you in the face, regardless of you being 6" taller.)

Initiating fights, however, is a hallmark of immaturity. It shows you have no way of reasoning with a person outside of being violent and/or petty. Do I still believe we should be able to protect ourselves? Yes, and that's part of the reason why I go to the gym an awful lot--I live in a tough neighborhood and God forbid something happens and I have to physically respond.

But strength isn't just for that--it's for doing good. This past weekend, there was a car accident near my house. I was walking home with laundry and heard the accident happen right behind me. I went right to the scene and the guy was losing consciousness and his car was both totaled and sandwiched between a telephone pole and a concrete wall (if you live in a city with houses on raised chunks of land with concrete around the front yards, you know what I mean). I was kind of surprised that, surrounded by neighbors, some of which are much taller than me, I was the one pulling as hard as I could on the door handle to try to open the door and get the guy some air, and when I couldn't do it, nobody else felt fit to try. When that didn't work (the door was mangled), I took off my shirt to fan the smoke out of his face until the fire department came. They ended up using two different sizes of Jaws of Life to get him out of the wreck. I did what I could to help someone I had never met before, and so I don't feel guilty.

I believe the man survived, since I haven't been able to find any mention in the news about the incident. (And trust me, I've searched day and night for any word.)

For examples of what I mean by living in a tough neighborhood, here are a few articles.
Drive-by shooting right next to my highway exit (1/8 mile from my house) (http://www.ribns.com/new-incidents.html)
This shooting happened a block from my house. I was one of the first there because I was outside. I watched this man die. :( A shooting happened even closer less than one month later. (http://www.ri.gov/press/view/15084)
This is the 2nd shooting, that happened much closer. (http://www.golocalprov.com/news/murder-in-providence-unsolved-cases-haunt-families/)
News video about the 2nd shooting in 2010. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkHZkDFpTSs)
Another recent shooting at the convenience store that's literally on my block. (http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2010/11/providence-man-shot-woudned-ne.html#.TzlyycruFMo)
Much more recent event. (http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2011/12/providence-hous-3.html#.Tzl0H8ruFMo)
I have lovely neighbors (http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2012/01/providence-man-78.html)

I don't have a car, commute by bus, and have to walk--alone, at night, from class--through these neighborhoods. So Heracross, seriously, stop pulling the race card and the tough neighborhood card. I don't fight and this is where I live.


(Oh PS I did find a little bit of news on the accident, just this though:
02-10-2012 13:33 EST Providence, RI 318 Admiral St On scene MVA with entrapment specail called Special Hazards to the scene for extrication. Providence RI Accident - 10490)

[Link]

Well said.



Also well said.





Not as well said: I'm sensing some contradiction here...

The only contradiction is the one you made up in this post.

Oh yeah, just like Eminem is black, I am also similar to Eminem's blackness.


I try to avoid fighting when I can. Being both witty and strong has helped in that people avoid messing with me. I haven't been in a physical fight with punches thrown since 6th grade. I did get wasted and punch someone several years back but that was really fun and if I got my pie beat I would've deserved it. It's a really wrong action on my part, and I felt bad and bought the dude some beers and we ended up partying til 5 in the morning. (Lesson: Don't throw a full plate of food into the street in front of starving, drunk state school kids and brag that you have a ton of money and go to the private school up the road. Magmar will punch you in the face, regardless of you being 6" taller.)

Initiating fights, however, is a hallmark of immaturity. It shows you have no way of reasoning with a person outside of being violent and/or petty. Do I still believe we should be able to protect ourselves? Yes, and that's part of the reason why I go to the gym an awful lot--I live in a tough neighborhood and God forbid something happens and I have to physically respond.

But strength isn't just for that--it's for doing good. This past weekend, there was a car accident near my house. I was walking home with laundry and heard the accident happen right behind me. I went right to the scene and the guy was losing consciousness and his car was both totaled and sandwiched between a telephone pole and a concrete wall (if you live in a city with houses on raised chunks of land with concrete around the front yards, you know what I mean). I was kind of surprised that, surrounded by neighbors, some of which are much taller than me, I was the one pulling as hard as I could on the door handle to try to open the door and get the guy some air, and when I couldn't do it, nobody else felt fit to try. When that didn't work (the door was mangled), I took off my shirt to fan the smoke out of his face until the fire department came. They ended up using two different sizes of Jaws of Life to get him out of the wreck. I did what I could to help someone I had never met before, and so I don't feel guilty.

I believe the man survived, since I haven't been able to find any mention in the news about the incident. (And trust me, I've searched day and night for any word.)

For examples of what I mean by living in a tough neighborhood, here are a few articles.
Drive-by shooting right next to my highway exit (1/8 mile from my house) (http://www.ribns.com/new-incidents.html)
This shooting happened a block from my house. I was one of the first there because I was outside. I watched this man die. :( A shooting happened even closer less than one month later. (http://www.ri.gov/press/view/15084)
This is the 2nd shooting, that happened much closer. (http://www.golocalprov.com/news/murder-in-providence-unsolved-cases-haunt-families/)
News video about the 2nd shooting in 2010. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkHZkDFpTSs)
Another recent shooting at the convenience store that's literally on my block. (http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2010/11/providence-man-shot-woudned-ne.html#.TzlyycruFMo)
Much more recent event. (http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2011/12/providence-hous-3.html#.Tzl0H8ruFMo)
I have lovely neighbors (http://news.providencejournal.com/breaking-news/2012/01/providence-man-78.html)

I don't have a car, commute by bus, and have to walk--alone, at night, from class--through these neighborhoods. So Heracross, seriously, stop pulling the race card and the tough neighborhood card. I don't fight and this is where I live.


(Oh PS I did find a little bit of news on the accident, just this though:
02-10-2012 13:33 EST Providence, RI 318 Admiral St On scene MVA with entrapment specail called Special Hazards to the scene for extrication. Providence RI Accident - 10490)

You don't think Paterson, NJ is a tough place? Here, read it and weep, buddy:

http://www.november.org/stayinfo/breaking3/Paterson.html

[DarkestLight]

#1) My ;post was made in jest to the nonsensical statement I just read.

#2) LV-huge contradiction in what he said. He named off random facts about himself, and them we are to believe its these reasons that make his fighting justified. Even quoting scripture makes no sense here, becasue no one NEEDS to fight in the literal sense.

Side note Paterson, NJ tough? No. Its not. Get over it. I'm done.

My point was that you said "I'm Christian. I have to fight." Which makes absolutely no sense to me.

You CHOOSE to fight :/ If you want to say you choose to fight because you are Christian, that's your prerogative. Islam militants choose to fight and bomb and jihad people. They don't HAVE to. They-and I'm afraid by that statement you-say that having a religion makes it ok to fight :/ Never the case. Ever :/

[Drago]

Oh yeah, just like Eminem is black, I am also similar to Eminem's blackness.
...Really? You're truly using a statement like this to make a point? Eminem is not black, alrighty? Neither are you, regardless of how 'gangster' you perceive yourself to be. DL used racial stereotyping facetiously... Are you actually using it with legitimate seriousness in an attempt to strengthen your argument?

[Lady Vulpix]

I think Heracross is just looking for trouble. Eminem is not black, so the term "Eminem blackness" makes no sense. And if he was implying that Eminem 'acts black', then that's racist stereotyping.

DL: it's not exactly a contradiction, he's only saying things that don't make any sense and using invalid arguments. Saying that one thing implies another when it doesn't. In other words, lies.

Perhaps I think too logically, I've been accused of that many times. If that is the case, I'm sorry.

Now, Heracross, some of us have made valid points in this thread, but you, the thread starter, have not. Do you have anything to contribute to your own discussion that actually makes some sense? Because it looks like you're just trying to use religion, geography and... the skin color you would like to have(?) to justify following your aggressive impulses, and none of those things justify it.

[Link]

I'm not looking for any trouble. When you people say that Paterson, NJ isn't full of trouble with the law, then you haven't been there. You see, when you're 13 years old and there with your mom, you'd see how much of a crime-filled, drug-infested place it really is. DarkestLight can believe that where he lives pales in comparison to the city I live in, and for that he's entitled to his own opinion, just like me. Harlem is a tough place to live, though the hood is where you can find the most decent people around.

I know that people in this topic are making valid points, but I am a paranoid schizophrenic and have had a lot of help for my problems throughout my childhood and now into my early adulthood, so you can see that I'm not exactly the type of guy that is perfect in his state of mind. In high school and elementary school, I was diagnosed as ADHD by the faculty that handles the most serious cases involving students.

That said, I believe that if I tried to start trouble with anyone, I apologize. This topic was meant to be about fighting in the biblical sense, such as fighting for your brothers and sisters in faith, fighting for your house, for your job. That kind of fighting is meant to be taken literally to some. Also, if anyone watched the movie 8 mile, you'd see that Eminem raps black, talks black, fights black, thus, even though his skin color is caucasian, it follows logically that he thinks of himself as being black.

[Lady Vulpix]

I don't know what living in Patterson is like, so I'll take your word that it's tough. That still doesn't justify starting fights. And your first post on this thread didn't make it sound like it was about fighting in the metaphorical sense, striving to reach your goals, nor standing up for what you believe in. It sounded more like you had started a fight on a thread at the Video Games forum and were angry that the person you were attacking stroke back.

[Link]

I don't know what living in Patterson is like, so I'll take your word that it's tough. That still doesn't justify starting fights. And your first post on this thread didn't make it sound like it was about fighting in the metaphorical sense, striving to reach your goals, nor standing up for what you believe in. It sounded more like you had started a fight on a thread at the Video Games forum and were angry that the person you were attacking stroke back.

You're right. I should really reflect on what I have been behaving like. I know that I have been somewhat of an pie, and so has Blademaster. That said, I'm going to take some time off to cool down.

[DarkestLight]

Hera: Paterson, NJ is filled with crime/ I went through there on a Boys's Club trip and watched a bus get bombed in like '93. But I've seen worse from other areas of the country. I say this because you don't see Paterson on a top ten crime list. You see places out in BFE nowadays due to meth labs and crank shifters and all of this. Crime and violence arguably make the world go round, so when you post something like that, you have to make sure your message is clear.

LV: Critical thinking is good. I'm always accused of taking things too lightly. so it works :pp

[shazza]

Fighting more often than not is a result of lack of assertive communication. Too often we exaggerate a situation, jump to conclusions and project ideas onto the others when fluent communication would have been a more viable approach. If we are aggressive in our actions, we selfishly do harm onto others not taking into consideration the consequences or the actual motives of the other. If we are passive in our approach, as Gavin pointed out, we resent the person based on mostly illusionary concepts, resulting in an indefinitely bitter state.

Conflicts are inevitable, but it is the actions of one another to realise what road they lead to; they even have the potential of strengthening needs and relationships. All fights are with equal human beings on a joint planet. It saddens me to think that it will take an alien invasion to see the Earth truly united.



But strength isn't just for that--it's for doing good. This past weekend, there was a car accident near my house. I was walking home with laundry and heard the accident happen right behind me. I went right to the scene and the guy was losing consciousness and his car was both totaled and sandwiched between a telephone pole and a concrete wall (if you live in a city with houses on raised chunks of land with concrete around the front yards, you know what I mean). I was kind of surprised that, surrounded by neighbors, some of which are much taller than me, I was the one pulling as hard as I could on the door handle to try to open the door and get the guy some air, and when I couldn't do it, nobody else felt fit to try. When that didn't work (the door was mangled), I took off my shirt to fan the smoke out of his face until the fire department came. They ended up using two different sizes of Jaws of Life to get him out of the wreck. I did what I could to help someone I had never met before, and so I don't feel guilty.


Wow, that's extremely laudable. Good on you, Barry. :)

Also, the lack of willingness of others sounds like an old case of bystander effect! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect)

[Blademaster]

I know that I have been somewhat of an pie, and so has Blademaster.

And this means... what, exactly? It's not even grammatically correct...

[Heald]

Don't you know abouut Anne Pi?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/47/Anne_Frank.jpg/200px-Anne_Frank.jpghttp://collectingtokens.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/pi.jpg

[Link]

I've heard people say that Newark is worse than Paterson. I drive past Newark sometimes, and I gotta say that they may be right. Paterson is a dangerous place if you aren't careful. There's lots of unexplained murders there that have yet to be solved.

One of Paterson's worst areas is on youtube:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpVyEGMrFoo

[Magmar]

Oh look, the projects two blocks away are on youtube o_O

OIva4HagAuc

hi neighborhood!