Escape from Jynx...the completed stories (PG-13)

[Iveechan]

ESCAPE FROM JYNX

By Katelyn, aka Iveechan :)

"Hey, boys, I got a new friend for you!" said Jynx. She was wearing black Tauros leather, and a spiked collar, complete with matching black high heels with spurs. She had a Mr. Mime she had captured in a fishing net with her. He was going to be the new addition to her collection of male Pokemon she keeps in her dungeon, in the bowels of her massive ice palace.

"All hope is lost," an Electabuzz said quietly. He was in shackles and chains, against a far wall of the dungeon. Accompanying him was a Magmar and a Machoke, also in chains.

"Silence, prisoner!" Jynx hissed, lashing out her whip. After tying up Mr. Mime, Jynx walked back up the cobblestone stairs that lead out of the dungeon.

"Be back later, boys," she winked, "I just need one more before the fun begins!" Then she left.

Mr. Mime snickered. "I'm lucky!" he said.

"How can you possibly be lucky!" Electabuzz said in disbelief, "When that witch returns, who knows what will happen to us!"

"I'm a Psychic-Type!" said Mr. Mime, "I can just teleport away!" and with a flash, he was gone.

"God, I'm freezing!" said Machoke.

"I'm not," Magmar and Electabuzz said in unison.

"Well, of course you're not, you're a Fire-Type," Machoke said to Magmar.

Then, turning to Electabuzz, he said, "And you have fur...."

"And blubber!" Magmar added. Electabuzz glared at him.

"And all I have is a speedo!" Machoke finished.

"You know," said Magmar, "If Electabuzz's tail were key shaped, we could be able to get out of here."

Electabuzz kind of gave him a weird look. "Well, if I'm so useless, why don't you just use Fire Blast and melt the shackles, freeing us?"

"It's kind of embarrassing," said Magmar, "But, well, Jynx just happened to capture me after I had a big glass of ice cold lemonade."

"Please, don't mention cold!" Machoke whined.

"Why in the world were you drinking lemonade, if it douses your powers?" Electabuzz asked.

"Jeez, even Fire Pokemon get thirsty sometimes! How did she catch you?"

"Well," said Electabuzz, "She set out a big chocolate cake, and I went for it, and she captured me in a net."

"Always thinking of your stomach, huh?" said Magmar. Little sparks of electricity shot from Electabuzz in his anger, but he ended up shocking himself (his metal shackles conducted the electricity).

"Hey, I'm free!" Machoke said suddenly.

"How did you do it?!" Magmar and Electabuzz said at the same time, then they glared at each other.

"Duh, Fighting-Types are strong. I just broke out." Before they could say anything else, Machoke broke Magmar and Electabuzz's chains.

"We're free, we're free!" the three said in joy.

"But which way do we go to get out?" Magmar asked. Electabuzz and Machoke froze. They remembered when they came in, the castle was a maze of ice walls.

"Well, we'll just have to guess," Electabuzz decided. "Follow me."

"No, follow me!" said Magmar. "I have a better memory, that's why my head is so big."

"Your head also looks like a butt," Electabuzz added.

"Well, at least I don't look like I'm pregnant," Magmar said back. In a matter of moments, the two started up a huge argument.

"Stop!" said Machoke, "We won't get anywhere if you two keep fighting like that! Besides, I have a better idea!"

"What?" Magmar asked, thinking that he couldn't possibly be a good idea, because Magmar thought Machoke was just a dumb muscle-thing.

"Ask him," Machoke answered, pointing to a pink blob. The blob had beady eyes and a happy smile plastered on its face. "Ditto," it said.

"Oh wow, a Ditto," said Electabuzz, "what help can it provide for us?"

"He probably knows the castle by heart," said Machoke. "Lead the way, little buddy." Having no choice, Magmar and Electabuzz had to follow the Ditto.

***** "Slow down, you little man!" said Jynx, riding on a Rapidash (it's flames doused, of course). She was in a huge field, chasing after a Hitmonchan.

"Fat chance, lady!" said Hitmonchan. Because his mind was preoccupied, he tripped over a stone, falling over.

"Now's my chance!" said Jynx, lashing out her whip. "My collection is almost complete!"

"No, wait! I'm not a guy! See my dress!" said Hitmonchan, in desperation.

"Yeah, right," said Jynx, "Everyone knows that's a tunic, but the lavender color is questionable....oh well." With a crack of her whip, Hitmonchan was captured.

Just when Jynx was about to celebrate, she saw what looked like a dome with Krusty the clown hair protruding from it. It was Mr. Mime! How dare he escape her!

"Mr. Mime, you're mine!" said Jynx, lashing out her other whip, capturing him as well. "Wait, if you're out here," said Jynx, as she put the two in a net, "That must mean..."

"They didn't escape," said Mr. Mime. "I teleported."

"Well, little teleporter, try to escape this!" Jynx tossed out her Pokeball, storing Mr. Mime in it. "Now, I must get back to my castle, and quick. Go, Rapidash!" Then the Rapidash took off, with Hitmonchan, still in the net, being dragged along behind it.

Meanwhile, back at the ice castle, the four ex-prisoners were still wandering around in the castle. Then they reached a dead end.

"Oh, great," said Electabuzz, "This is what happens when we follow a glob of bubblegum!"

"Hey!" said Machoke, in Ditto's defense, "Just because he doesn't seem to have the cranial capacity to store a highly developed brain, doesn't mean he isn't capable of provoking thought and memory."

Electabuzz and Magmar looked at Machoke in surprise at that somewhat advanced comment.

"I mean, I think I'll smash down the wall." So he did. When they stepped through it, they realized they were outside.

"See, I told you Ditto knew where to go," said Machoke, Ditto riding on his head.

"We're alive! We're alive!" said Magmar and Electabuzz. Suddenly they heard a loud screech. It was Gyarados, who was hiding in the moat!

"Eek! A Gyarados! Kill it, Electabuzz, kill it!" said Magmar, shoving Electabuzz towards it.

"Okay, this will be a piece of cake!" said Electabuzz. Then, he just stood there. "Mmmm, cake," he said.

"Quick, quick!" Magmar urged, "If it puts out the flame on my tail I'll die!"

"Okay, hold your Horseas, Butt-Head," said Electabuzz. Just when he started to build up some electricity, the Gyarados exhaled a beam of ice towards Electabuzz. The Ditto jumped in the way, taking the hit.

"Gasp! Ditto!" cried Machoke. He ran over to the pink blob. To his surprise, Ditto morphed into Gyarados.

"Wow, it morphed," said Magmar, "It must have been because of the ice attack."

Then, Ditto morphed into a Raichu, and gave the Gyarados such a huge electric shock, it turned into a giant fish filet.

"Ditto can change into anything!" Magmar said.

"See, he is good for something," said Machoke, "Aren't you boy?"

"Yeah, I guess he is," said Electabuzz, then he apologized to it.

"Oh, it was nothing, really," said Ditto. Then it morphed into Mewtwo. "This is my true form. I turned into Ditto just to throw you off."

Suddenly, Jynx appeared, riding on an Articuno. "So, you thought you could fool me!" she said, digging her spurred heels into Articuno's back.

"This looks bad," said Mewtwo, "get behind me, fellas."

Jynx then tossed out her two Pokeballs, releasing Mr. Mime and Hitmonchan. "Attack, boys!" Mr. Mime and Hitmonchan, under Jynx's command, both bodyslammed Mewtwo.

"Ow!" cried Mewtwo, "I twisted my ankle!"

"Fools," said Jynx, "There is no escape now. I can just capture you in Pokeballs, and you'll be mine! Ah ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!"

Then, Mr. Mime slapped Mewtwo, and Hitmonchan punched him.

"Magmar," said Mewtwo, weakly, "If you can just use your flame attack, we can beat Jynx!"

"I...I don't know if I can...."

"Just believe in yourself, Magmar!" said Mewtwo. Then he died.

"Most powerful Pokemon indeed," Electabuzz said quietly. "Beaten by a clown and a boxer in drag."

Magmar approached Mr. Mime and Hitmonchan, then exhaled a great flame that looked like the Blair Witch symbol. It was Fire Blast.

"Whoa," said Mr. Mime and Hitmonchan, covered in ash, "What happened?"

"No time to explain!" said Electabuzz, "It looks like Magmar and Jynx are going to battle, so use Mewtwo's body as a shield."

Magmar and Jynx faced each other. "You wouldn't dare," said Jynx.

"Watch me," Magmar grinned. Then he used Fire Blast on her, melting her. All that was left was her clothes (the normal red dress, which is her hunting outfit) and her round head.

"Wow, what a cool dress!" said Hitmonchan, "If I put it on, it will look like a tunic! Then people won't make fun of the color my clothes!"

"Hey, a new bowling ball!" said Mr. Mime, after picking up Jynx's head and poking the eyes out.

"Magmar," said Electabuzz, "I'm sorry I called you Butt-Head."

"I forgive you," said Magmar. Then he and Electabuzz hugged.

"Oh, poor Mewtwo," said Machoke, "He sacrificed his life for us."

"Look on the bright side," said Electabuzz, "We have a cool castle all to ourselves, plus a fried Gyarados dinner! We'll just live here!"

"Too cold," said Hitmonchan, trying to keep his short skirt from blowing in the wind.

"Then let's all hop on Articuno and go to Hawaii," suggested Magmar, "I heard they have volcanoes there."

So Magmar, Electabuzz, Machoke, Mr. Mime, and Hitmonchan climbed up on Articuno and headed to Hawaii (and it's not just for the volcanoes, if you know what I mean!).

Next up...Battle of the Sexes!

[Iveechan]

Battle of the Sexes! is rated PG-13 for violence and some off-color humor. Brace yourself, kiddo.

BATTLE OF THE SEXES

By Katelyn, aka Iveechan

It was a beautiful day in Hawaii. Everyone was busy in the beach house, which sat at the foot of a volcano. Everyone was cheerful, except for Magmar, who was walking along the beach.

"How sad," he said, "No one knows it's my birthday."

Meanwhile, back at the house, everyone did know it was Magmar's birthday (gee, this is starting out like a corny cartoon, huh?). Hitmonchan was in the kitchen, baking a cake. Little did he know, Machoke was watching him from the entrance of the kitchen.

Now's my time to make a move on that cute Hitmonchan! he thought. Just when he did, he saw Mr. Mime approach Hitmonchan.

"Hey, Hitmonchan's mine!" said Machoke, "I saw him first!"

"He doesn't like you!" cried Mr. Mime. Then Machoke and Mr. Mime started beating the crap out of each other.

"Oh, boys, don't fight over little old me!" said Hitmonchan.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Electabuzz was trying to decide on what the decorations were going to look like.

"Let's see," he said, "I want them to be black and yellow, but should there be more black, or more yellow?"

Suddenly, Mr. Mime and Machoke burst into the room, still fighting.

"Guys, what do you think of the decorations?" asked Electabuzz, "Should there be more black or more yellow?"

The two just ignored him, for they were still beating each other up. Hitmonchan entered the room.

"I think the colors should be mint green and lavender," he said.

*****

Magmar was still on the beach, watching the blue-green waves. Suddenly, he saw a silhouette of something coming out of the ocean. It was walking towards him. When it came close enough, Magmar saw the most beautiful creature he had ever seen---a female Golduck. She was wearing a silver bikini, which is kind of unusual, for Golduck don't have boobs.

"Hey, Maggie-mar," the Golduck said, swinging her hips.

"Hi," said Magmar, a little surprised.

"I bet your friends don't like you anymore," said Golduck, "But I can make your problems go away." Then she removed her top (like I said, she has nothing to hide).

Now, Magmar completely forgot about everything, and started following Golduck to some rocks.

****

"Okay, it's evening, so everybody get ready!" said Electabuzz. He was sure that Magmar would be home soon.

"Look, I better be getting paid for this," said a Nidoking.

"Just get in the cake, and when you hear 'surprise!' then jump out, and start dancing around," said Electabuzz. He was a little worn out, for he had to deal with the moody Nidoking, and had to break up all of Mr. Mime and Machoke's fights.

Time passed. Still no sign of Magmar. Nidoking sighed and took out a cigarette.

"I don't have time for this," he said and left. Electabuzz ignored him.

"Where could Magmar be?" Hitmonchan whined.

"We have to search for him," said Electabuzz. "We'll split into two groups. Hitmonchan, you come with me, and you two try to get along." Then they left the house. Mr. Mime and Machoke glared at each other.

Meanwhile, Magmar and Golduck were behind a rock. They were resting, for they had just finished doing the nasty.

"Magmar, I'm so sorry," said Golduck.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"Oh, I work for a dead spirit, the Spirit of Jynx. She wanted me to lead you to her domain, so she could kill you. But I love you so much, I don't want to do that! I feel so guilty! But if I come back empty handed, she'll kill me!"

"Golduck," said Magmar, "We should run away together, just the two of us. We should sail away, and find our own island!"

Just when Magmar and Golduck left to go get some wood to build a boat with, Electabuzz and Hitmonchan walked by, just missing them.

"Electabuzz, I have a problem," said Hitmonchan. "You see, Machoke and Mr. Mime are always fighting over me. I used to like that, but now I know that they only like me for my looks! They only think of me as a sex object!" Then Hitmonchan started crying, and Electabuzz kind of looked at him weird.

"Boy, you sure are girly," said Electabuzz. "I mean, look at you! You're so wussy, it makes me feel like Clint Eastwood!"

"Maybe that's my problem," said Hitmonchan. "Lately, I don't know why, but I've been overwhelmed with all these feminine emotions. I swear, I cry five times a day, and have gone through 26 gallons of ice cream in one week!"

"Well, that's another mystery that needs looking into," said Electabuzz, "But we have to find Magmar now!"

*****

"The boat's almost ready," said Magmar. Golduck was looking at a crystal ball thingy.

"Don't worry, I've almost got him," Golduck said to it.

"What was that?" asked Magmar.

"Uh, I said, 'I'm happy, you're almost done!" Golduck lied (now what could that rascally Pokemon be up to)?

"Now, I made this boat secure enough so that there's no way that water could seep in and kill me," said Magmar.

Suddenly, they heard something. "Quick, let's get to the water, fast!" said Golduck.

It was Mr. Mime and Machoke, who were arguing.

"I'm a Fighting-Type, so Hitmonchan should like me better!" said Machoke.

"But who can resist my charming good looks?" said Mr. Mime.

"I certainly can't," said a mysterious voice. Mr. Mime and Machoke spun around, and saw a lady Hitmonlee.

"Wow, she's gorgeous!" said Machoke.

"Hey, she likes me better!" said Mr. Mime. "Wait, I thought Hitmonlee's were always guys."

"Who cares?" said Machoke, "she's probably a transvestite."

"Follow me, I can take you to a beautiful place," said the Hitmonlee.

As Mr. Mime and Machoke started following Hitmonlee, she took out her watch and looked at it.

"I have the clown and the wrestler," she said into it.

"Great," said Golduck, "And I have the duck from Hell."

"What did you say?" asked Magmar, who was sleeping.

"Uh, nothing, go back to sleep," Golduck said to him. When he did, Golduck turned back to the watch. "Make sure Nidoqueen gets that electric tiger thingy and his wussy boxer friend."

"I will," said Hitmonlee. "What's the matter?"

"Huh?"

"You seem a little reluctant. Do you like that ugly fire-duck thing? Jynx wouldn't like that."

"Of course not, don't be silly!" Then Golduck sighed as she turned off her watch.

******

"I feel so depressed! Where could Magmar be?" Hitmonchan weeped, as he was shoving chocolate ice cream down his gullet.

Electabuzz was just ignoring him. Suddenly, he saw a hand appear from behind a tree. It was a Nidoqueen. She was motioning for him to come.

Electabuzz looked back at Hitmonchan, who was still crying and eating ice cream, then back at the Nidoqueen hand. Electabuzz shrugged, then happily bounded to the Nidoqueen.

"Man, I'm finally free," said Electabuzz. "So, have you seen a Magmar around? You know, fiery duck?"

"Ooh," said Nidoqueen, "I can take you to a.....oh, what the heck." Then she grabbed Electabuzz by the tail, and flung him over her shoulders.

"Ack! Where are you taking me?" Electabuzz cried.

"To the Spirit of Jynx," said Nidoqueen.

"Eek! Jynx! Thunderbolt Attack!" said Electabuzz, but Nidoqueen wasn't hurt, for she's a Ground-Type, and Electric attacks don't affect her.

Meanwhile, Hitmonchan was still eating ice cream and crying and stuff. Suddenly, he heard this huge stomping sound. Before he could react, a Nidoking came crashing through the trees.

"Oh, there you are!" Nidoking said. "I have to warn you about something!"

"Hey, you're the Nidoking that Electabuzz hired!" said Hitmonchan. "Wait, where is Electabuzz?"

"That's what I'm gonna tell you about!" said Nidoking. "My sister, a Nidoqueen, and two of her friends were hired by a ghostly Jynx to bring her all of the Pokemon who defeated her."

"Oh my god! That's so awful! What can we do?!"

Suddenly, an Eevee with a crescent Moon on his forehead appeared out of nowhere (I bet you can see where this is going!).

"Yo, ya gotta toyn inta Saila Scouts," said the Eevee, who had a New York accent.

"Uh, how?" Nidoking and Hitmonchan asked. "I mean, how were we chosen?"

"Well, Hitmo'chan, I betcha you've been wond'rin why you've been act'in so goyly. Well, it's 'cause you was destined to be a Scout or sumthin. Anyways, I was sent hey by da Dead Spirit of Mewtwo ta give ya dis brooch thingy. Ya hold it up an' say 'Poke-Prism Powa!'"

"What about me?" asked Nidoking.

"Uh, I guess I can give ya one of my extra brooches," Eevee answered. Then he gave the two Pokemon their brooches.

"Poke-Prism Power, make up!" Hitmonchan and Nidoking called out. Suddenly, they got what looked like skin-tight sailor school girl uniforms on.

"Cool! Do we get special powers?" asked Hitmonchan.

"Well, ya see," said Eevee, "Ya gotta use yo physical strength, but soon, you'll discova ya hidden powas."

"How come we can't get them now?" asked Nidoking.

"Cuz den, dey wouldn't be hidden," Eevee answered. "Now, let's go rescue yo buddies!" Then, Sailor Milky Way (Hitmonchan), Sailor Black Hole (Nidoking), and Eevee flew into the air.

******

"Land Ho!" said Magmar, spotting an island.

"Did you just call me a ho?" asked Golduck.

"Oh, no, I just spotted an island for us!" said Magmar. "Hey, is that a crystal ball?"

"Uh, no..."

"I think it is! You're still working for Jynx, aren't you?!"

"No!" Suddenly, Jynx's face appeared on the crystal ball.

"What are you doing on that island?!" Jynx said, "You're supposed to be at my castle!"

"Golduck!" said Magmar, "You lied to me! You said....!"

Golduck used Surf on Magmar, and he fainted, because he's weak against water attacks.

Golduck sighed. "I really hate doing this to you," she said, as she lifted Magmar up and put him into the boat, "but it's my job."

Hours later, Golduck arrived at Jynx's new castle. She met Hitmonlee and Nidoqueen, who had their captured men all tied up.

"Great work, girls," said Hitmonlee. "So, Golduck, you didn't like that butt-head duck after all."

"Yeah, I guess," Golduck answered, then sighed.

Hitmonlee looked over at Electabuzz, who was chewing on the rope that was restraining him.

"Why is this one resisting?" asked Hitmonlee. "You're supposed to tempt these guys first before you...wait! Where's the boxer!?"

"What boxer?" asked Nidoqueen.

"You idiot!" yelled Hitmonlee, "We were supposed to get all of them!!!"

Suddenly, Electabuzz broke out of his ropes. "I'm free!" he said.

"Ack! Nidoqueen, get him!" Hitmonlee yelled. Nidoqueen sighed, as she started stomping after Electabuzz.

A few minutes later, both Electabuzz and Nidoqueen were resting, for neither of them do that much exercise and are pretty fat. Nidoqueen was only a few feet away from Electabuzz too.

"Man, this is what I get for eating donuts all the time!" said Electabuzz.

"You like donuts?" asked Nidoqueen. "So do I! We have something in common!"

Then Electabuzz and Nidoqueen looked deeply into each other's eyes. Then, they noticed something flying in the sky.

"Is it a Moltres?" said Electabuzz.

"Is it a Zapdos?" said Nidoqueen.

"No! It's, it's....Hitmonchan?"

Suddenly, Hitmonchan landed in front of Electabuzz. "I am the defender against evil and the champion of justice, Sailor Milky Way!" said Hit..uh, I mean, Sailor Milky Way.

"Now you're really girly," said Electabuzz.

"Saila Black Hole, use yo Fissure Butt-Slam attack!" said Eevee.

"Okey dokey!" said Nido....Sailor Black Hole. Then he hit the ground with his butt, causing a tremor. It was heading towards Nidoqueen.

"Nooooooooo!" yelled Electabuzz, as he shoved her out of the way. Then the tremor hit him.

"Oh no, Electabuzz!" cried Sailor Milky Way. Then he started crying.

"Use da Milky Way healin'!" said Eevee.

Then Sailor Milky Way lifted up his scepter and said, "Milky Way healing, escalation!" Then Electabuzz came back to life.

"Oh, Electabuzz!" said Nidoqueen, "You risked your life for me!" Then she ran up to Electabuzz and hugged him, nearly crushing him.

"So, you're evil, huh?" Sailor Black Hole said, facing his sister. Then they glared at each other.

"Guys, don't fight!" said Sailor Milky Way, "We need to rescue our friends!"

Eevee bounded to Electabuzz. "Hey ya go," he said, giving Electabuzz a brooch, "use dis ta toyn inta Saila Magnetic Storm."

"Uh, what?" asked Electabuzz.

"You're a Sailor Scout!" said Milky Way. "I guess that we need the power to defeat Jynx. Just hold up the brooch and..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know the rest," said Electabuzz, "I read manga too." Then, he lifted up the brooch and said, "Poke-Prism Power, make up!" Then he turned into Sailor Magnetic Storm.

"Okay, scouts, let's go rescue the boys and kick Jynx's ***!" said Sailor Milky Way. Then he took off into the sky, Eevee and Sailor Black Hole following him. Electa...I mean, Sailor Magnetic Storm had trouble flying, for he was carrying Nidoqueen.

*****

"Uhhh...where am I?" said Magmar. He had just regained consciousness.

"We're in a prison cell, in Jynx's dungeon," said Mr. Mime. He, Machoke, and Magmar were all in chains (wow, just like the beginning of the first story!).

"Boys, quiet, I'm gonna get you out of here," a voice said. Magmar looked around, and saw that it was Golduck.

"Golduck!" said Magmar, angry. "How could you do this to me?"

"I...I had no choice! Jynx was threatening me and...." then Golduck started crying.

"Golduck," said Magmar. Then, Golduck collapsed in his arms, and was all crying and stuff. Magmar was a little surprised.

"They look so cute together!" said Machoke.

"We're stuck in a prison," said Mr. Mime, "and all you can do is say how cute two ducks in love are?!"

Then, they heard an evil laughter. "So, you did like the butt-head duck after all!" after all!" said Hitmonlee, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Hitmonlee!" Golduck said in surprise.

"Stay back, Golduck," said Magmar, "I'll take care of her!" Then he got up, then fell back down. He forgot that he was still chained up. So much for that act of bravery, he thought.

Suddenly, Sailor Milky Way (who's actually Hitmonchan, remember) flew through a window, and body slammed Hitmonlee.

"I'm the defender against evil, and the..." before Sailor Milky Way could finish, Hitmonlee gave him a good kick to the gut.

"Man, you got so gay ever since we broke up!" said Hitmonlee.

"You guys used to go out?" asked Sailor Magnetic Storm, who just entered.

"It was a long time ago," said Sailor Milky Way.

"Let's see how your battle skills have improved," said Hitmonlee. Suddenly, she turned inside outwards, and she was all metallic. Hitmonlee turned into Cyber-Lee!

"Oh my god!" said Sailor Milky Way. "How am I gonna fight THAT?!"

Then Eevee appeared. "Use ya hidden move!" he said.

Suddenly, Sailor Milky Way had this energy stuff was surrounding him. His eyes started glowing. He glared at Cyber-Lee

"DOUBLE-FUDGE DEATH BEAM!" he called out, producing a beam of ice cream from his hands (kind of like in Dragon Ball Z). The ice cream hit Cyber- Lee, but she blocked it. Then she and Sailor Milky Way started beating each other up.

"Well, it looks like that all that ice cream did Hitmonchan some good!" said Sailor Magnetic Storm. Sailor Black Hole used his horn to break everyone's chains.

"Wait!" said Eevee, "Befo we go, I gotta give da Magma his brooch so he can moyph inta Saila Sola Flare!"

"Jeez, not another Sailor Scout," said Sailor Magnetic Storm.

"Oh, cool!" said Mr. Mime. "Can I be a Sailor Scout?!"

"No," said Eevee, "ya can't be, 'cause da author of da story can't tink of mo spacey names."

Mr. Mime and Machoke sighed. Magmar lifted up his brooch, and said, "Poke- Prism power!" Nothing happened.

"You forgot to say 'Make up'," said Golduck. "Sailor Moon says it in the manga!"

So, Magmar added the make up part to his phrase, then turned into Sailor Solar Flare.

"Mr. Mime, Machoke, climb on my back," said Sailor Black Hole. Then he and Eevee took off, heading to what looked like the main tower of the castle. Sailor Magnetic Storm sighed, as he lifted up Nidoqueen.

"Hey, Sailor Solar Flare, let's go!" said Sailor Magnetic Storm. Then he saw Sailor Solar Flare and Golduck kissing (which is really weird looking).

"Coming!" said Sailor Solar Flare, as he lifted up Golduck. "Wait, what about Hitmon...whoops, I mean, Sailor Milky Way?"

"He can take care of himself," said Sailor Magnetic Storm. Then he and Sailor Solar....you know, this is getting annoying. I'll just call them Sailor Electabuzz and stuff. Oh, anyway, Sailor Electabuzz and Sailor Magmar took off, carrying their women. Sailor Hitmonchan and Cyber-Lee were still fighting.

******

Meanwhile, the gang had reached the door to Jynx's main chamber.

"The final battle," said Sailor Magmar.

"Ooh, you sounded so hot and serious when you said that," said Golduck.

"Cut da love crap, all right!?" Eevee complained.

"Look, just because you don't have a girlfriend, doesn't mean you can criticize us!" said Sailor Electabuzz.

"You tell him, tiger-man!" said Nidoqueen.

"Fine, I'll just leave now," said Eevee, then he floated away, never to be seen again. Sailor Nidoking slapped Sailor Electabuzz across the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" Sailor Electabuzz yelled, spittle flying out of his mouth.

"Duh! He could've told us about our final battle!" Sailor Nidoking scolded.

"We'll pull through," said Sailor Magmar. "Machoke, Mr. Mime, girls, you wait out here. I have a feeling this battle is just for scouts."

"But we were there when Jynx died the first time!" Mr. Mime and Machoke complained. They were angry at having to be left out of the fight.

"Shouldn't we have Sailor Hitmonchan with us?" asked Sailor Nidoking.

"Hmm, come to think of it, where is that little wussy now?" asked Sailor Electabuzz.

Meanwhile, back at the dungeon, Sailor Hitmonchan and Cyber-Lee were glaring at each other. Both were worn out and covered in blood.

"I don't feel like fighting anymore," said Cyber-Lee. Then she turned rightside-in, and was back to normal.

"Yeah," Sailor Hitmonchan agreed. "Remember how much fun we had when we used to go out?"

"Yeah," said Hitmonlee. Then the two Hitmon's looked into each other's eyes (oh god, not again!).

"Come on, let's go to Jynx's tower," said Sailor Hitmonchan. Then he picked up Hitmonlee and flew to the tower.

Meanwhile, the other Sailor Scouts had just broken into Jynx's chamber. They were horrified. Jynx was 50 feet tall! And she was all ghostly! Aaah!

"Ah, so the fruits decided to battle me!" Jynx said. "Wait, I don't recognize you," she said, looking at Sailor Nidoking.

"Uh, I'm Sailor..." but before he could finish, Jynx lifted him up, then flung him out the window.

"Ah! Sailor Nidoking!" cried Sailor Magmar.

"That's better," said Jynx. "It looks like that all of my female assistants have failed me. Sigh, I knew that I shouldn't have hired them when they were in heat. We seem to be a little short on our gay freedom fighters, hmm?"

Suddenly, Sailor Hitmonchan flew into Jynx's room, followed by Machoke and Mr. Mime, who are now also wearing sailor uniforms (I don't have to think of spacey names anymore! Actually, I thought that if they did have spacey names, Mr. Mime would be White Dwarf, and Machoke would be Nebula. Oh, back to the story.)

"All right!" said Sailor Magmar, "Now we can use our scout powers!"

"But we don't know them," said Sailor Machoke.

"I know mine!" Sailor Hitmonchan spoke up.

"Great, our lives depend on an ice cream eating boxer," said Sailor Electabuzz.

Jynx was tapping her foot impatiently. "Can we fight now?" she demanded.

Sailor Hitmonchan nervously stepped up to Jynx. Then, he started glowing, and he said, "DOUBLE-FUDGE DEATH BEAM!" Ice cream shot from his hands, but it barely hurt Jynx.

Jynx grinned. "I'm an Ice-Type, numnuts!" she said. "Oh, speaking of numb- nuts...." them she took a deep breath, and suddenly exhaled a tornado of ice. Sailor Hitmonchan was hit hard.

"Ahh! I got ice up my skirt!" he whined.

"Quick, guys, we gotta get our powers, fast!" said Sailor Mr. Mime. Suddenly, he started glowing. Then his eyes flashed.

"PSYCHO SEIZURE COSMO FLASH!" he called out. The room was filled with a sickening rainbow glow. Jynx, though, only grinned.

"I'm a Psychic-Type too!" she said. Then she picked up Sailor Mr. Mime by the hair, then tossed him.

"Mimey!" Sailor Machoke called out. Then he caught Sailor Mr. Mime.

"Oh, thanks Machoke," said Sailor Mr. Mime. Then he looked at Machoke, and for the first time, he noticed Machoke's huge muscles.

"Dang, you're hot!" said Sailor Mr. Mime. "Much better looking than that beanpole Hitmonchan!" Then Sailor Hitmonchan started tearing up.

"Stop it!" said Sailor Magmar, "Come on guys, we gotta fight!" Then Magmar started glowing. "SECOND DEGREE SCAR TISSUE COMBUSTION!" he called out. He exhaled a huge wall of flame.

Jynx was engulfed in the flame, but she just shrugged it off. "Not as easy as last time, huh?" she smiled. "Now, who else dares to fight me?" she challenged.

Sailor Electabuzz stepped up. Then, he started scuffing his feet on the ground. "STATIC ELECTRICITY HYPER WAVE!" said Sailor Electabuzz. The wave surrounded Jynx, but by the time it calmed down, she was still uninjured (besides her hair now being staticy.)

"I am invincible!" said Jynx. "Bwahahahahahaha!!"

"Wait, you didn't fight me yet!" said Sailor Machoke. Then, after using Focus Energy to pump himself up, he said, "BIG MUSCLY GUY TACKLE!" he slammed into Jynx, and for the first time, she was in pain.

"Cool, I got da power!" said Sailor Machoke. But then, Jynx used a Psychic attack, hurting Sailor Machoke badly.

"Guys," said Sailor Mr. Mime, "If we can't get our powers to hurt Jynx, then Machoke's gonna be finished off, and we'll all die!"

Then Hitmonchan started crying. "But how was Machoke able to hurt Jynx?" asked Sailor Electabuzz. Suddenly, Golduck flew out of nowhere.

"Guys!" said Golduck, "Machoke was only one that was still gay! Well, and Mr. Mime, but he's a Psychic-Type....oh, anyway, you guys have to use the power of your homosexuality!"

"What are you doing here, traitor?!" Jynx yelled.

"Gotta go!" said Golduck, then she disappeared.

"Come on guys!" said Sailor Magmar. Then the five Pokemon gathered around in a circle.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Jynx yelled in fear.

Suddenly the male Pokemon lifted their arms to the sky, and pink energy was flowing from their hands. A large, fuschia triangle, with a male symbol in the middle of it, appeared above their heads.

"Get a dose of boy power, you feminine girl!" said Sailor Magmar. "Ready, guys?"

They nodded. They all turned to Jynx, then yelled out, "SAILOR MASCULINE PINK TRIANGLE BARRAGE!" The triangle hit Jynx hard, and she was blown away. All that was left was a small, round, black ball. It was shivering.

"What the...?" said Sailor Magmar. Then he walked up to the ball, and saw that it was a little Gastly.

"Please don't hurt me!" he pleaded. "I, I, I didn't mean any harm!"

Then Hitmonchan picked him up. "You poor little thing!" he said, stroking Gastly's head (well, his body is his head).

"I am an advocate for Jynx's spirit," said Gastly. "My mission was to portray as Jynx, and destroy you, but I failed. Dang, I was gonna get paid too! Now, I have no home! I'm a bum!"

"Hey, you can live with us!" said Magmar (oh, in case you're wondering, they're all back to normal).

"Wait! I just remembered Nidoking!" said Electabuzz. So the fruit squad, now joined by Gastly, rushed outside.

Nidoking was on his back, his spikes stuck in the ground.

"Get me outta here!" he demanded. The gang laughed, as they helped him to his feet.

Suddenly, a cold wind rushed. "Ooh, my skirt!" said Hitmonchan. "I hate wind!"

Golduck, Hitmonlee, and Nidoqueen appeared.

"Boys," said Golduck, "We must leave now. I can't tell you where we're going, but we may return someday. So long." Then the three turned into smoke, and blew away.

"Aw, man, my first girlfriend left!" said Magmar.

"Don't feel bad, you still have me!" said Electabuzz. Then Magmar and Electabuzz looked into each other's eyes.

"I have no one!" said Gastly.

"You can have me!" said Hitmonchan.

"No way!" said Nidoking. "I didn't get to do anything exciting in this story, so I deserve Gastly!"

"But he likes me better!"

"Oh, boys, don't fight over little old me!" said Gastly (seem familiar?).

"Man, were we like that?" Machoke questioned.

Then Mr. Mime *****-slapped Machoke, and said, "Of course, you hot stud!" Then he did this perverted thing with his eyebrows.

Machoke was a little scared by that sudden action, but, being the wimp that he is, just went along with it.

"Hey, Magmar, I almost forgot!" said Electabuzz, "We never had your birthday party!"

Magmar's pupils grew huge and shiny. "You...you remembered!" Magmar said. Electabuzz nodded.

"And I baked the cake!" Hitmonchan said proudly.

"I never had cake, or been to a party," said Gastly. "I had a deprived childhood."

"Suck-up," Nidoking quietly said to Hitmonchan. Hitmonchan glared at him, Gastly still in his arms.

"Let's go!" said Electabuzz. Then he got out his beeper, and contacted Articuno, who flew the gang back to Hawaii, where they partied and hula danced 'til the sun came up.

Narrator: Well, the gay gang seem happy, but not everyone is.....

Jynx was in Hell, having a miserable time. She was tied against a wall.

"This place is so god damn hot!" she yelled. "I'm gonna melt! Where's Gastly?!"

Then, a little Charmander with a devil tail and horns poked Jynx in the butt with his pitchfork.

"No cussing!" he said, then walked off.

Then Jynx said, "EerrrRRRAAAAAHHHHH!!! I hate homosexuals!"

Meanwhile, back on Hawaii, there was a small tremor (caused by Jynx's yell). Everyone stopped what they were doing.

"What was that?" asked Magmar.

"Oh, it was nothing," Electabuzz reassured him. "Come on, let's limbo!"

And so Magmar, Electabuzz, Mr. Mime, Machoke, Hitmonchan, Nidoking, and Gastly lived happily ever after.

Next up...Life with a Brat!

[Iveechan]

Life with a Brat! is the most risqué tale in the Escape from Jynx! series. It involves more gay moments, so if you don't have an open mind, you may not want to read this one and scroll down to the 4th...but you may be a little confused ;)

LIFE WITH A BRAT

By Katelyn, aka Iveechan

Life was good on Hawaii. The male Pokémon lived all by themselves on their own private island. Little did they know, they were going to get a little visitor.

Machoke and Nidoking were on the beach, pearl hunting. Machoke would swim in the ocean, and fetch Shellders and Cloysters, while Nidoking drilled them open with his horn.

"Nidoking, that's the third pearl that you drilled in half!" Machoke yelled. The poor Shellder that had the pearl was also drilled in two.

"Man, I hate drilling these stupid clams!" said Nidoking. "My horn aches and I have nasty smelling Shellder guts all over me! Why are we trying to get pearls, anyway?"

"Because my mom's coming to visit," Machoke answered. "I thought that she would leave if I bribed her with pearls."

Nidoking was dumbfounded. "You have a mom?" he questioned.

"Duh, everyone has a mom," Machoke answered. "Well, our pearl expedition seems to have failed. Sigh, I'll have to find something else to bribe her with." And with that, Machoke sadly strolled into the jungle.

"Gee, what can be so bad about having your mother come visit you?" Nidoking asked himself.

Meanwhile, Electabuzz and Magmar were lounging around in the beach house (it's siesta time). Electabuzz was curled up in a whicker basket, napping, while Magmar was listening to Pure Moods on his portable CD player (made out of coconuts). The doorbell rang.

"I'm not getting it," said Electabuzz, without opening his eyes. The doorbell rang again.

"Magmar, get the door," Electabuzz ordered, but it was obvious Magmar didn't hear him. Electabuzz sighed as he got up to answer the door.

When he opened it, he was surprised. There was a big old Machamp, but it was wearing a dress, and it had make-up on.

"Hello!" The Machamp said, in a voice that sounded like a man imitating a woman...badly. "I'm Champma, Machoke's mother. Is he home?"

Electabuzz kind of stood there. "Uh, no, why?" he asked.

"Well," said Champma. "I'm going to be on vacation, and I need him to watch his little sister, Chopma."

A little Machop burst into the house. "Oh, boy, a giant kitty!" she said, and she jumped on Electabuzz. He hissed, and tossed her off.

"I'll be leaving now, bye," said Champma.

"Wait, shouldn't you..." Electabuzz started, but Champma quickly disappeared.

Electabuzz glanced at Chopma the Machop, who was staring at him. "What are you looking at?" Electabuzz snarled.

"You're fat," said Chopma.

Suddenly, Electabuzz's eyes grew red. "WHY, YOU LITTLE..." then a bolt of electricity shot out of him at Chopma.

"Ahh! He's trying to kill me!" Chopma screamed, and she ran off.

"I hate kids," Electabuzz said. Magmar was still listening to his CD player, and didn't notice a thing.

Hitmonchan was in the kitchen with Gastly.

"Gastly, taste this stew, and tell me if it's right," said Hitmonchan.

Gastly stuck his entire tongue in the pot, then took it back out. "Tastes nice and spicy, just like you!" said Gastly.

"Gastly! You ruined it! You got tongue germs in it!"

"I'm sorry," Gastly sniffled. "Now I ruined your stew, and, and..."

"Oh, Gastly, I could always make another pot!"

Suddenly, Chopma zoomed into the kitchen.

"Whoa, I think Machoke was in the dryer too long!" said Hitmonchan.

"I'm not Machoke! I don't know you, where's Machoke?!"

"Um, gee, I don't know," said Hitmonchan. "Who are you, anyway?"

Then Chopma zoomed back out.

"That was weird," said Gastly.

Hitmonchan nodded, then went to the pantry to make the stew again.

Chopma was upstairs, looking for Machoke. She glanced into a room, and saw some of his stuff, so she knew it had to be his room. To Chopma's surprise, Mr. Mime was sleeping on the only bed in the room.

"What are you doing in my brother's bed, you scary clown!" Chopma demanded. Mr. Mime awoke with a jolt.

"What is it Machoke, you in the mood for some lov'in?" he groggily asked.

"I'm not Machoke! Why does everyone keep thinking I'm him?!"

"Who the hell are you then?" Mr. Mime asked.

Chopma's eyes grew wide at the word "hell." "I'm Chopma, Machoke's little sister."

Mr. Mime rolled over. "Jeez, you know that they run out of ideas when they add siblings to the story lines," he said.

Mr. Mime lay there for a few minutes, then opened his eyes, and saw that Chopma was still there, staring at him.

"Are you still here?" he asked, moodily.

"Can I stay here 'til Machoke gets back?" Chopma asked.

"As long as you don't make noise," said Mr. Mime.

Chopma looked over at a corner, and saw Machoke's Nintendo 64 with a game cartridge in it(both also made out of coconuts. They are very smart Pokemon). It was The Legend of Snorlax: The Pokeflute of Time, the game that Machoke never let Chopma play, for fear that she would erase his saved game data. Chopma nearly drooled, seeing an opportunity to play it.

"Ohmygod,canIplayMachoke'sgame,canIcanIcanI?" Chopma said real fast.

"Yeah, whatever," said Mr. Mime.

Chopma flew to the Nintendo, and flipped it on. The title screen shown, with Mink the Scyther, riding on a Rapidash named Soprano. Chopma's eyes glistened.

"Let's see," she said, "since Machoke doesn't want me to mess up his game, I'll just make my own. Let's see...I'll name myself....ooh, SailorC! Huh? If I make this new game, the old data will erase itself? Whatever...."

And so, Chopma unknowingly erased Machoke's saved game that he worked half a year on.

A few hours later, Machoke returned, with Nidoking.

"Good, she must have left!" Machoke said happily. Suddenly, he heard this galloping sound. Mr. Mime came bounding down the stairs.

"Hey, there, love-muffin!" he said.

Hitmonchan peered out of the kitchen, accompanied by Gastly. "Boys, the stew's done!" he said. "Oh, Machoke, your miniature clone is here."

"Huh?" said Machoke. "Wait you don't mean...." then Machoke zoomed up the stairs.

"What's wrong with him?" Magmar asked, after taking his headphones off. Suddenly there was a high-pitched squeal.

"WHAT DID YOU DOOOO!!!!??" It was Machoke's voice. Magmar, Nidoking, Electabuzz, and Mr. Mime all went up the stairs to see what happened.

When they got up there, they saw Machoke cornering Chopma. She was huddled in a corner, as if that would hide her.

Just when Machoke was about to attack her, Mr. Mime held him back, then slapped him.

"What's going on?!" Mr. Mime yelled, then Chopma punched him.

"Don't slap Machoke!" she threatened.

"Don't try to get on my side!" Machoke screamed at Chopma. "You erased my saved Snorlax game data!"

"Wasn't that the game that you've been playing for six months and have gotten really far in and lost the player's guide to?" Electabuzz asked. Machoke had a huge, throbbing vein on his head from rage.

"I love you!" Chopma said, before Machoke was about to pummel her.

"Awwwww!" Everyone said, except for Machoke.

"Why are you here?!" Machoke asked.

"Mom went on vacation, and said that you have to watch me for a week," Chopma answered. Then she looked around. "Why are there so many boys here?" she asked. "Is it cause you're gay?"

"Of course not!" said Machoke. Mr. Mime glanced at him.

"Uh, yes we..." he started.

"Quiet! I don't want my mom or Chopma to find out!"

"Oh, I see, a homophobe for a mom," said Nidoking.

"No, I just don't know how she'll react knowing that her only son's gay," Machoke said.

"I knew I was the only decent one in the family," Chopma spoke up.

Just when Machoke was going to try to beat up Chopma again, Hitmonchan walked into the room. "The stew's gonna get cold if you flamers don't hurry up!" he kindly warned. Everyone gallumped downstairs, except for Machoke, who just slowly walked down.

Later, it was nighttime. The boys were trying to decide on where Chopma was going to sleep tonight.

"Not in our room!" said Machoke. Mr. Mime put his arm around him, grinning.

"Ditto!" said Electabuzz. Magmar said nothing (they share a room).

"Aw, she can sleep in my room, with Gastly and Nidoking," said Hitmonchan.

Later, Chopma was in the bathroom, looking through the medicine cabinet for a Centrum bottle, because she liked to look at the rainbow band on it. She suddenly spilled all of the pill bottles.

"Oh, ****!" she said (ooh, bad!), "I can't have Machoke more mad at me!" So she quickly gathered up all the pills. She unknowingly put the Alka-seltzer in the same bottle as the aspirin (I have a feeling something's gonna happen with this later!). Chopma hurried into Hitmonchan's room.

"Here, I'll make you a quaint little bed on the floor," said Hitmonchan, getting out some frilly pink sheets. Chopma was looking around the room. Hitmonchan's shelves were full of Pokemon dolls. Clefairy, Chansey, Jigglypuff, and others seemed to be staring from every wall.

"Can I play with your dolls tomorrow?" Chopma asked.

Hitmonchan's eyes grew large in surprise. "Oh no, there he goes again," said Nidoking to Gastly.

"YOU MOST CERTAINLY CAN'T EVER TOUCH THESE RARE COLLECTOR'S ITEMS!" he yelled, holding a Pikachu in a kimono. "NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!"

"Jeez, don't have a Tauros," said Chopma.

Meanwhile, Machoke and Mr. Mime were in bed together. Machoke was startled, for he felt something on his thigh.

"Mr. Mime, don't do that!" said Machoke, "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Ooh," said Mr. Mime, "Your rage against Chopma has made you feisty!"

Machoke grinned. "Let's have some fun!" he said.

Suddenly, there was a small lump moving under the sheets.

"Ooh, Machoke!" said Mr. Mime, getting all horny.

"What the....that's not me!" said Machoke. Then he lifted up the covers, and saw Chopma there.

"Chopma!" said Machoke, "How did you get here?!"

"Why are you sleeping with another boy?" asked Chopma.

"Because I'm gay, I told you that earlier!"

"Ahh, so you accept your homosexuality!" said Chopma, "Before, you were trying to deny it!"

"She has a point there," said Mr. Mime.

Machoke got so mad, he lifted up Chopma, and tossed her out of the room, into the hallway.

"Ooh, super feisty!" said Mr. Mime.

Chopma got up real angrily, then stomped back to Hitmonchan's room.

"Queer," she muttered, as she slammed the door. Hitmonchan immediately got up, catching his falling dolls before they hit the floor.

******************

Meanwhile, in the flaming pits of Hell.....

"Let's see, who's been good lately?" said a Charizard. The bottom half of him was a Ponyta's rear-end, and he had a devil tail. He was one of the jail-keepers in Hell. He came across Jynx's cell.

Jynx's eyes were large, round, and Jigglypuff-like. She was trying to look innocent.

"Let's see," said Charizard, "Jynx..."

"Yyyyes?" said Jynx, innocently.

".....You're free to go, for annoyingly good behavior."

"YES! Oh, I mean, thank you, sir!"

"You didn't let me finish. You're free to go, but you won't be able to interact with the physical world at all. You can, however, take over the soul of a female Pokemon, but if you haven't found a host by tomorrow, you have to come back."

"Oh, I will sir!" said Jynx. Then, she started floating up towards the surface.

"Now, where will I find a female Pokemon that's close to Hawaii?" she wondered, for she didn't want to pay for plane tickets.

The next morning, the gang were in the kitchen, waiting for Hitmonchan to finish making breakfast.

"Hurry up with those scrambled Exeggcute already!" Electabuzz yelled.

"Sorry," said Hitmonchan, "But I'm cooking for six, for pete's sake.

Electabuzz counted, and recounted on his fingers on the number of inhabitants in the house.

"Hey, wait, shouldn't there be eight?" he asked.

"No. Gastly doesn't eat, and I don't eat anything high in cholesterol."

"I noticed," said Chopma, "because you're skinny, and Electabuzz is fat!"

Electabuzz glared at Chopma. Hitmonchan just smiled at the compliment.

"Temper, temper," said Magmar. "We're trying to work on your blood pressure. Take a deep breath, and count to ten...."

"Hey, today, the Exeggutor marching band is coming through our jungle!" said Nidoking, who was reading the paper.

"I want to go!" Machoke and Chopma said at the same time. Then they glared at each other.

"I think it would be better if Chopma stayed home," said Magmar. "Because they always fight, and because the marching band has been known to sing obscene songs that little girls shouldn't hear...."

"Yes!" said Machoke.

"What! That's frick'in unfair, you ***-headed Donald Duck from Hell!"

Magmar was surprised at that comment. His pupils rolled back, so his eyes looked white. The flame on his tail turned hot blue in his anger.

"He's right," Hitmonchan said to Chopma. "Those Exeggutors' lyrics send chillies up my skirt, they're so awful."

Chopma moodily crossed her arms, and stomped upstairs.

"God, she's so annoying!" said Machoke. "I'm glad she's not coming!"

"But she makes you feisty!" said Mr. Mime, getting horny again.

"I've noticed," said Nidoking, "That Hitmonchan is the only one here that hasn't gotten annoyed by Chopma."

"Ooh, I can teach her how to cook!" said Hitmonchan, "After I finish making breakfast, I'm going to start a huge feast for the marching band!"

"Speaking of cooking!" said Electabuzz, "Finish those damn Exeggcute! I'm famished!"

You could live off your blubber for a week, thought Hitmonchan, dumping the cooked, squinty-eyed Exeggcute onto Electabuzz's plate.

**************

"Dang!" said Jynx, looking at her radar, "The only female Pokemon around on this island are stupid, wild ones, like Doduo and Diglett!"

Suddenly, the radar began beeping wildly. Jynx checked it.

"Wow, it's never done that," she said, "There must be an intelligent female form here worth taking over."

************

Magmar, Electabuzz, Nidoking, Mr. Mime, and Machoke left the house, leaving Hitmonchan, Gastly, and Chopma. Hitmonchan was in the kitchen, getting out the pre-slaughtered Slowpoke (that he killed himself) for the feast. Gastly was hanging around, as usual (he spends all day keeping Hitmonchan company in the kitchen. What a sweet little poltergeist!).

"Hitmonchan, weren't you going to have Chopma help you in the kitchen today?" Gastly asked.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" said Hitmonchan. Then, he took off his light blue gingham apron, and headed towards the steps to go upstairs.

Chopma was in Hitmonchan's room, putting make-up on one of his dolls.

"Now, you have a little bit more color to your complexion!" she said to it. Chopma held out the plastic, kimono-clad Clefairy in front of her, to admire her work.

Suddenly, Hitmonchan walked into the room. He squealed.

"SQUEEEEE! YOU GOT MAKE-UP ON MY RARE, LIMITED EDITION, SERIES THREE CLEFAIRY COLLECTOR'S SPECIAL!!!!!" Hitmonchan yelled. He grabbed his precious doll from Chopma, and looked at it, his eyes watering.

"Lili Lulu! My favorite!" he sniffled. Then, he turned to Chopma angrily, holding the Clefairy doll close to his chest.

"Don't you know that this doll is made from a special plastic that's very difficult to clean?!" Hitmonchan growled.

Chopma just shrugged. "It's just a dumb doll. I've got a million of them in my room back home, all covered with make-up."

"Even if Lili Lulu was 'just a doll', you shouldn't go mess with other's property! Grr, I'm so mad, I could just burst!"

"Don't have a Tauros, 'Chan," said Chopma. "This place is boring, I'm going outside to play. Bye." Chopma happily skipped down the steps.

Gastly entered the room. "Where's Chopma going? Shouldn't you be watching her?" Gastly asked.

Hitmonchan just glared at him. "I could care less about the little brat!" he said.

Meanwhile, Chopma was outside. She came across a stupid-looking two-headed bird, a Doduo. It just looked at her, with its blank, staring eyes.

"Ooh, a birdy! Want to play?" asked Chopma. The Doduo screeched, and it ran away, its two heads banging into eachother.

"What a stupid, boring island," said Chopma. "Everyone hates me, the food's weird and disgusting, and this is only the second day!"

Meanwhile, the boys were at the parade, watching from the huge crowd of natives (you know, Vileplume, Doduo, Diglett, and stuff). Mr. Mime was on Machoke's shoulders, for he had trouble seeing, and Electabuzz and Magmar were on Nidoking's shoulders.

"You guys are heavy, you need to lose weight," said Nidoking.

"Not me, only Electabuzz," said Magmar.

"Quiet, they're going to sing my favorite song!" said Electabuzz.

The bandmaster Exeggutor was trying to flip a baton in his mouth, which was really difficult. Then, he and the others started singing, "There once was a Mankey from Nantucket...." Then, the Exeggutor parade stopped.

"What's the big holdup, sing the rest of it!" Electabuzz ordered.

"That's the whole song," said the bandmaster. Then, he and the gang continued marching on.

"Well that was retarded," said Electabuzz. "Take us home, Silver." He kicked his heels into Nidoking's side.

"Ow, *****, that hurt!" said Nidoking.

"Guys, don't fight," Magmar sighed. "Let's just go home."

A little while later, the boy gang came back to the beach house. Electabuzz sniffed the air.

"I don't smell any Slowpoke flesh roasting!" he called. Then, Hitmonchan walked out of the kitchen, with an unusual darkness to his eyes. He held out his Clefairy doll.

"Chopma did it, right?" They all said in unison. Hitmonchan broke into tears.

"It was my only Lili Lulu!" he sobbed. Then he ran up to Nidoking, still crying.

"It's all right," said Nidoking, trying to console him, "We'll just get you another doll off eBay."

"But it's rare!" Hitmonchan cried. "Getting another one in mint condition is difficult!"

Then, Nidoking stepped away, causing Hitmonchan to fall over. "All this crying and yelling is giving me a headache," he said. "I'm going upstairs to take some aspirin."

"See why I hate Chopma so much?" said Machoke. "Say, where is she?"

"She went off to go play earlier," said Gastly, who floated out of the kitchen.

"Good, maybe she got lost." said Machoke.

"Machoke, how could you!" Magmar scolded, "even if she is annoying and destructive, she's still your responsibility!"

"Oh, crap, my mom!" Machoke remembered, "I'm gonna be in deep trouble!"

Meanwhile, Nidoking was upstairs, going through the medicine cabinet. He got out a bottle of aspirin, then stuffed a whole handful in his mouth. Suddenly, he felt faint, and his stomach started churning. Then...BOOM! He exploded! Remember the Alka-seltzer earlier? Well, it makes Nidoking (As well as other Poison-Types) explode! Chopma committed her first sin, without even knowing it! Now there's Nidoking guts all over the bathroom! Eeeww!

A few minutes later, Mr. Mime was heading to the bathroom. "Man, what's taking Nidoking so long?" he asked himself, "My bladder's gonna burst!"

Mr. Mime entered the bathroom, and was horrified. Everywhere there were guts. He knew it was Nidoking's because his head was stuck on the towel rack. Then, Mr. Mime ran downstairs.

"Nidoking exploded!" he yelled, "His innards are all over the bathroom!"

Everyone was silent, for no one was paired up with him (remember, Magmar's with Electabuzz, Hitmonchan's with Gastly, and Machoke's with Mr. Mime).

Hitmonchan sighed. "I guess I have to clean it up, being the homemaker," he said.

"I'll help," said Magmar.

"Thanks, Mag, you're a real sugar cookie!" said Hitmonchan. Magmar decided to take that as a compliment.

Just then, Chopma skipped happily into the house. "Hey, guys, what's up? Hitmonchan, I'm sorry I..."

"Chopma," said Machoke, "Nidoking just exploded in the bathroom. Do you know anything about it?"

Chopma looked at Machoke, fearfully. "Uh oh. Last night, I spilled some of the pills in the bathroom, and I must've put some of them in the wrong container."

Machoke's eyes grew redder than they already were. "That's the last straw!" He yelled. "You erased my saved game, you ruined Hitmonchan's doll, you're making Electabuzz's blood pressure go up, you killed one of our friends, and you annoy the crap out of everybody! You're sleeping outside tonight!"

"Ooh, you're ultra feisty!" said Mr. Mime. Machoke just ignored him.

"Fine," said Chopma, "maybe I don't want to sleep in your stupid, old beach house! I can't wait 'til mom comes back, 'cause you'll be in deep trouble!"

"She's not coming back!" said Machoke, "I just heard on the news that her plane crashed, and there were no survivors! She's dead!"

Then, Chopma ran out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

"That was a little harsh," said Electabuzz.

"I'm going to bed," said Machoke, and he went upstairs.

Meanwhile, Chopma was outside, pacing around in a circle.

"He's so mean!" said Chopma, "I hope something happens to Machoke and his bitchy friends!"

Not too far away, Jynx was following her radar. "It's almost been a 24 hour period, and I still haven't found a host!" she said. Then, she spotted Chopma. "Ah! I finally found an intelligent female! Hmm, this Machop is small, but probably strong. She's perfect!" Then, Jynx flowed into Chopma, and took over her soul. Chopma's eyes suddenly grew round, and muppet-like, like Jynx's. Then she smiled evilly.

"Now's my chance to get revenge!" said Chop-Jynx, in Jynx's voice. Then, she ran into the beach house.

Meanwhile, Machoke and Mr. Mime were in bed (god, I just realized they didn't eat dinner!). Mr. Mime was trying to go up Machoke's speedo.

"Stop that, I'm not in the mood," said Machoke.

"What's wrong?" Mr. Mime asked, "You were so feisty earlier!"

"I feel guilty," said Machoke. "I mean, most of the stuff Chopma did was just an accident, like the pills. And she's very critical, and curious, and that's what makes all of us mad. I think I'll go outside and let her sleep in our room tonight."

"Machoke, no, not tonight!" Mr. Mime pleaded. Machoke ignored him.

Just when he stepped out of his room, he felt something jump on him. It was on his shoulders, whacking him on the head.

Machoke reached back, and took it off of him. It was Chop-Jynx!

"Chopma, I'm sorry," said Machoke, "You don't have to..."

"Silence!" said Chop-Jynx, "I want my revenge!"

"Whoa, your voice changed! Are you getting ready to evolve? And why do your eyes look so freaky?"

Chop-Jynx hissed, and started slashing at him with her claws (she got them when Jynx took over her). Machoke easily blocked her attacks.

"It's a shame mom wasted her money on martial arts classes," said Machoke, "They don't seem to be doing you much good."

Suddenly, Chop-Jynx produced a beam of ice out of her finger tips, but Machoke jumped out of the way.

"You never had ice power before!" said Machoke, "You're not Chopma at all! You're Jynx!"

Suddenly, Chop-Jynx puked up pea soup, and her head spun around. She was making these weird, demon sounds. Then she fainted.

Magmar, Electabuzz, Hitmonchan, and Gastly burst out of their rooms.

"What happened?" they asked.

Machoke was holding Chop-Jynx by the tail. "I think Chopma's been possessed," he said.

Suddenly, Magmar twirled around, and he magically got a Japanese priest robe and a staff. "This is a job for the exorcist!" he winked.

A little later, The gang (excluding Mr. Mime, for he's still waiting in the bedroom) were in the kitchen. Chop-Jynx was on the table, still passed out.

Magmar put on Pure Moods. "Stand back everyone," he said. Magmar got out a thin, piece of paper. "Aku Ryo Tai San!" he called out, tossing the paper, "Retreat evil spirit!"

The paper hit Chop-Jynx on the head, and Jynx went flying out. Chopma woke up.

"Woo, what happened?" she asked. Machoke ran up to her.

"I'm so glad you're all right!" said Machoke. Then, this cutesy music was playing in the background.

"I'm sorry I was being such a brat today!" said Chopma.

"That's all right," said Machoke. "I understand that you're young, and tend to get into trouble a lot, but don't use that as an excuse."

"I learned my lesson!" said Chopma. Then she and Machoke hugged.

"Oh jeez, this is like an episode of Full House!" said Electabuzz.

"I think it's cute!" said Hitmonchan.

"I think I'm going to kill all of you!" said Jynx, her eyes turning red.

"Chopma, stay back," said Machoke, but Chopma walked up to Jynx. "Chopma! Didn't you learn anything from our overly sappy speech?!"

"Jynx!" said Chopma, "why are you being so mean! Why are you trying to pick on my brother and his friends?!"

Jynx was silent for a moment. "A long time ago, my boyfriend died. It was a most terrible death, too.

'He was an Arbok named Chad. We had just been to a book store, and we got a book on Kama Sutra. He, being flexible, wanted to try the moves out. Unfortunately, he got tangled up, and died of suffocation.

'I was a wreck after Chad's death. I watched an episode of Oprah on coping with the loss of a mate. The solution....get another one! Unfortunately,most men didn't like my unusual preferences, so I did the only thing I could....turn into a dominitrix, and get all the men I want by force!"

"That story was, uh, very moving," said Electabuzz.

"Where did Chopma go?" asked Magmar. Everyone looked around.

"I'm up here!" said Chopma. She was on the stove, hovering over Jynx. She had a bottle of Holy Water.

"Ack! What are you doing!" yelled Jynx. Chopma made her eyes look innocent, as she casually poured the Holy Water on Jynx's head. She melted instantly, without any "I'll get my revenge!" or anything like that.

"That was a hell of a lot easier than last time!" said Electabuzz.

"Chopma!" said Machoke, "you're amazing!"

"Yup!" said Chopma. "I decided to stall Jynx by making her tell the story. She was so distracted, I was able to get the bottle of Holy Water from Magmar's belt!"

"I am in utter disbelief!" said Magmar.

"Chopma, you are the little scamp!" said Hitmonchan.

Suddenly, Chopma got all woozy, and she had to sit down. "Oh, no, I think it's happening," said Chopma. Then she started glowing.

"Eek! She's gonna explode like Nidoking!" shrieked Hitmonchan.

"No, stupid, she's obviously evolving," said Electabuzz. Sure enough, there was a blinding white flash, and Chopma evolved into a Machoke! Instead of that speedo thing, she had a black suit, like that Chyna woman.

"Wow!" said Machoke, "You're a Machoke!"

"Call me Chokema!" she said. Everyone was all laughing.

"Machoke," said Mr. Mime, who just entered the kitchen. "What's taking you so...whoa! I'm seeing double! Two Machoke's!"

"Actually, the one with the big gazumps is Chokema," said Electabuzz.

"Electabuzz!" Machoke scolded.

"No, he's right," said Chokema, "I do have big gazumps. Impressive, huh?"

"Get them away, get them away!" said Gastly, in fear. Hitmonchan covered Gastly's eyes.

"Come on, guys, it's late," said Hitmonchan, "Lets get our keesters and gazumps to bed....I mean...oh man, I need sleep!"

The rest of the week went by smoothly. Chokema, now a teenager, outgrew her impishness, and was now showing herself off to all the native Pokemon of Hawaii. The same stupid Doduo that ran away from her now started following her around. Chokema decided to keep it as a pet. She named it Bimbo.

Several days later, there was a knock on the door. Electabuzz answered it. It was Champma.

"Hello!" she said, in her annoying voice, "Where is Chopma?"

"I'm Chokema now," said Chokema, being followed by Bimbo.

"Chokema! You're all grown up!" said Champma. "Where's your brother?" Then, Champma called out Machoke's name, in an ear-piercing yell.

"Uh, Mom," said Machoke, "I have something to tell you."

His sister looked at him. "Is it about your....?" Machoke nodded.

Machoke, Chokema, Champma, and Bimbo walked into the living room. Magmar, Electabuzz, Hitmonchan, and Gastly, were in the kitchen, watching.

"Mom," said Machoke, "I have a secret." Then he stopped.

Chokema put her hand on his shoulder. "I believe in you," she said. Then, Mr. Mime (who appeared out of nowhere) put his hand on Machoke's leg, and said, "I believe in you too!" He was licking his lips, pervertively.

"Please!" Machoke yelled. "Mom, I'm gay. So's Mr. Mime, and Electabuzz, and everyone else in this house."

Champma was silent for a second, but still had that big, stupid grin. "I know that," she said.

"You did?" said Machoke.

"Yes, you'd have to be stupid not to know, you're so obvious," said Champma. "Chokema, let's go! The plane's leaving shortly!"

"Wait," said Chokema, "I got presents for everybody!"

Suddenly, everyone zoomed into the living room eager for presents.

"Hitmonchan," said Chokema, "I'm sorry about that doll, thing, so I got you this..."

Hitmonchan tore the box open. "Oh my god! It's the super rare Marril! This thing's impossible to get! How do I thank you...oh, I know! I'll bake a batch of cookies super fast!" so Hitmonchan zoomed to the kitchen, followed by Gastly.

"I'm next! I'm next!" said Electabuzz, shoving his way up to Chokema. He opened his present. "Oh. An ab-crunch machine. Thanks."

"Here's yours, Magmar," said Chokema.

"Oh, wow, a soundtrack of nature sounds!" said Magmar.

"Me next!" said Mr. Mime. Chokema gave him a book on Kama Sutra.

"Ooh! Lookit those positions!" said Mr. Mime, giggling at the pictures in the book.

"How about me, sis?" asked Machoke.

"Oh, I didn't get you anything," said Chokema. Then, she ran out of the house, saying, "Bye, sucker!" Bimbo and Champma followed.

The gang stepped outside, to see the plane leaving.

"Well, Chokema sure was a ***** to you," Electabuzz said.

"Nah, she just has trouble showing her feelings," said Machoke, "You know, when I was her age, I...."

"I got the cookies, fresh out of the oven!" said Hitmonchan, Gastly by his side. "Aw, man, she left. Now these are all going to waste!"

"Not quite!" said Electabuzz, shoving the whole batch into his mouth. Then, he breathed out fire. "Hot!"

"Duh, they just came out of the oven," said Hitmonchan. "I guess that you're a Magmabuzz, now!"

Then, they all laughed. Suddenly, a square thing fell from the sky, and hit Machoke in the head.

"Ow! What the....Oh my god! It's the sequel to my Snorlax game! It's the Legend of Snorlax: Mink's Awakening!"

"So she wasn't being mean after all!" said Magmar.

"It's the end of the story," said Hitmonchan, "And you know what that means...." then, Hitmonchan tore off his tunic, and he was wearing a hula skirt and Hawaiian shirt underneath. "It's time to par-tay!"

So then, Machoke, Magmar, Mr. Mime, Electabuzz, Hitmonchan, and Gastly, started to Hula dance, with a herd of Exeggutor singing in the background.

Meanwhile, Jynx was in her jail cell in Hell. The Ponyta-Charizard approached her.

"Jynx, you have a new cell mate," Charizard said. Jynx groaned.

Suddenly, to Jynx's surprise, when Charizard opened the door, in came Chad, the Arbok.

"Chad!" Jynx said happily, her pupils dialated.

"Hey there, Jynxy!" said Chad.

"What are you doing down here?" asked Jynx.

"Well, I was kicked out of Heaven, because I was caught with this." then, Chad uncurled his tail, an there was a Kama Sutra book in it. "Wanna get another shot at it?" said Chad, his forked tongue flicking in and out.

"Of course, lover-boy!" said Jynx, "And this time, we don't have to worry about you dying!"

And so, Jynx lived happily ever after, spending eternity doing Kama Sutra positions with Chad. (Hey, for once, there's a happy ending for everyone! Well, except Nidoking.....).

Next up...Happy Halloween!

[Iveechan]

Happy Halloween! is I think the funniest story and its tameness level is between that of the 1st and 2nd stories. PG at its worst methinks, but maybe PG-13.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

By Katelyn, aka Iveechan

Once upon a time, a Houndour, a Murkrow, and a Misdreavus were in the North Pole. The Houndour was carrying a large spell book of some kind in her mouth. After sniffing around for awhile, Houndour dropped the book in the snow.

"This is the right place!" she said.

"Yeah, it must be Jynx's death place!" said Misdreavus.

"Like, so totally cool!" said Murkrow.

"Ok, girls, we all have to gather in a circle," Houndour said.

"Uh, why?" Murkrow questioned.

Houndour and Misdreavus did that teenage girl "Uuuh!" sigh-moan thing, then Misdreavus said, "It's a seance, duh! We have to gather in a circle and chant pagan sayings to resurrect Jynx!"

Murkrow still had a blank look on her face. "Why?"

"Because we're witches, that's what we do!" Houndour yelled. After the three girls sat in a circle, Houndour chanted: "Light as a feather, stiff as a board, rise Jynx, because we're bored!"

Suddenly, cracks formed in the icy ground, and blue light was shining out of it.

MEANWHILE, IN HELL......

Jynx was sound asleep in her cot with her Arbok lover, Chad. His long body was wrapped around her.

"Ahh, this may be Hell, but I feel like I'm in Heaven!" Jynx sighed, dreamily. Suddenly, she began floating, and her head ran into the ceiling of the cell she was in. The mysterious force kept ramming Jynx into the ceiling, until she broke through and continued floating up.

"What's going on?!" Jynx yelled. "This better not be my punishment for saying the H-E-aven word!" Jynx then entered darkness.

BACK AT THE SURFACE WORLD.....

The ground rumbled and shook. The girls screamed out. Suddenly, a half rotting Jynx corpse rose from the snow. One of her eyeballs was hanging out of the socket, and some of her organs were hanging out. Her brain was also visible from her cracked skull.

"Oh my god, it's so gross!!! Houndour cried. "Let's make a run for it, before our parents find out!"

As the three Dark and Ghost girls ran off screaming, Jynx climbed the rest of the way out of the snow. "Braaaaains, braaaaaains!" She moaned.

*****

In Hawaii, Magmar was watching a horror movie on the coconut TV. In the movie, a Tauros and a Miltank were in the middle of a graveyard.

"Oh, Toro, this place is so spooky!" said the Miltank.

"Ah, no it ain't, Lacty!" Toro the Tauros said.

"There may be scary Gengars here!" Lacty whined.

"Ooh, baby, there ain't no such thing as Gengars!"

"But you didn't say anything about....."

A badly crafted puppet zombie burst out of a grave. You could see the strings on it.

"ZOMBIES!!!!"

"Oh dear lord!" Magmar squealed, and he jumped straight up, digging his claws into the ceiling with fear.

Electabuzz walked in. He glanced at the TV, looked at Magmar, then laughed.

"Aw man, I can't believe these corny Halloween specials actually scare you!" He poked Magmar with a broom until he fell down.

"I can't help it! Everything on TV is spooky stuff, and I get scared easily! Even Machoke got a new scary game called `Lugia's Mansion'. I hate Halloween!"

"How can you hate Halloween, you get free candy!" said Electabuzz. "By the way, I came in here because you need to help with the decorations."

Magmar looked around the room a few times to make sure no creepy-crawlies were going to sneak on him before he entered the kitchen.

"Oh good, there you are!" Hitmonchan, who had been baking cookies, greeted. "I need you guys to help put up these darling little paper Spinarak and Zubat on the walls."

"Darling my non-existant ***!" Gastly pouted moodishly.

"Aw, what's wrong, sweetums?" Hitmonchan asked.

"I am so offended by the way my kind is treated this time of year! We're portrayed as goofy mascots of this stupid holiday!"

"No you're not!" said Hitmonchan.

"Yes, I am!" Gastly said. "Look at those cookies you just made, tell me what they are!"

"Um, Haunters, Umbreons, and Cubones."

"Exactly! Grrr, I'm so offended, I'm going to go out, gather other my Haunter and Gengar homies, and we're gonna protest!" And with that, Gastly quickly floated away.

Magmar looked at Hitmonchan, who's eyes started getting all watery. "Oh, don't be upset by what he said," Magmar tried to console him. "He'll get over it soon. Xatu's go through the same thing at Thanksgiving time, and Delibird at Christmas." (Get it, Native Americans and Santa Claus?)

Hitmonchan suddenly tossed the cookie tray violently to the floor.

"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" He wailed, then he ran to his room, crying.

Just then, Machoke walked in from outside.

"Where have you been, slacker?" Electabuzz questioned.

"Duh, I've been raking palm leaves, remember?" said Machoke. "They're everywhere this time of year. It's weird, I didn't know Hawaii's foliage turned brown and fell off the trees like in normal places."

"Ooh, you said foliage!" said Mr. Mime, who appeared out of nowhere. "You must know French, my native language! Wee wee!"

"Wee wee yourself, potty-mouth," said Electabuzz, "And it's not a French word either, you....." Suddenly, Electabuzz started hacking, then he pulled a long curly blue hair out of his mouth. "Oh, yuck, where'd this come from?!"

"Ow, my eye!" Machoke yelped, then he blinked out another curly blue hair. "Weird, there's hair floating around everywhere."

Magmar looked at Mr. Mime. "Oh my god Mime, your hair is thin! You must be shedding!"

Mr. Mime sighed. "Today I turned 50. On a Mime's 50th birthday, he starts losing hair. It's a sign of getting older."

"Ew, you're 50!?" Machoke said. "Gross, I didn't know I made love to an old man! You were 32 when I was born!"

Electabuzz got out a calculator and did the math. "You're -22 years old?"

"WOAH! You're not even at sperm-egg stage yet!" Magmar said.

"You did it wrong, stupid," Machoke sighed. "It's 50-32, not 32-50. I'm 18."

"Ack, I'm getting old! What else can go wrong?" Mr. Mime whined.

Suddenly, a bright light was shining outside. Magmar, Electabuzz, Machoke, and Mr. Mime (I'm just gonna call him Mime from now on) ran outside to see what it was. When the light faded, there standing in its place was Chokema, Golduck, Lady Hitmonlee, and Nidoqueen! Golduck had on a very lumpy old jacket for some reason.

"Hey, big bro!" Chokema the girl Machoke called. "Me and the girls from the 2nd epic Jynx Story heard that there was going to be a Halloween party, and we wanted to join in!"

Machoke hugged his sister. "How'd you guys get here?" He asked.

"Oh, us girls have our magical ways!" said Chokema.

"Come here, big boy!" said Nidoqueen. She gallumphed over to Electabuzz and nearly squeazed him to death in her mighty arms. Magmar walked over to Golduck.

"Hey, long time no see!" he said. "Say, you look kinda different."

Golduck quickly folded her arms infront of her body. "No, no I don't, you're just seeing things!" Golduck said nervously.

"Huh?"

"Oh, don't mind her," said Hitmonlee, "Golduck's been so secretive and hyper lately. She never once took that jacket off since she first put it on 6 months ago, and she builds temporary nests like crazy."

"Shove it, tootsie-roll ninja!" Golduck snapped.

"And bitchy," Hitmonlee added. "Say, where's Hitmonchan at?"

"Upstairs crying," said Mime.

"What else is new?" Hitmonlee said as she entered the house.

When Hitmonlee found his room, she saw Hitmonchan laying down with his face buried in a pillow, crying.

"What's the matter, Chan-man?"

Hitmonchan looked up. "A woman voice?" he questioned. When he wiped the tears from his eyes, he was stunned to see Hitmonlee. "Oh my god, Lee- girl!"

"It's good to see you too!" said Hitmonlee. Then she bonked her head against Hitmonchan's.

"Uh, what was that?" he asked.

"A kiss, dummy!" said Hitmonlee.

"Oh yeah, you don't have a mouth!" said Hitmonchan. Then he and Lee started laughing.

"Hey, Lee-girl!" Gastly's voice called out. "Haven't seen you since I portrayed as the spirit of Jynx and made you capture....well, nevermind that, how you been?!"

"Gastly, what are you doing here?" Hitmonchan asked. "I thought you were going to round up your ghost homies and start protesting Halloween."

Gastly kind of floated there for a moment. "Oh yeah, that's what I was going to do! I kind of forgot why I was going to my homies' cribs, so I came back here. Oh well , I lost interest anyway."

"Oooooh kay..." Hitmonlee said.

Then Hitmonchan explained how Gastly gets offended at Halloween. "Oh, that's no biggie," Hitmonlee said to Gastly. "Chan and I get worked up in anger whenever a kung-fu movie comes out."

"Grr, those movies just burst my bloomers!" Hitmonchan growled.

MEANWHILE...

Zombie-Jynx arrived at an airport.

"Braaaaains!" she moaned. "I want a one-trip ticket to Hawaii please....so I can eat BRAAAAAAAIIIIIINS!"

"Um, ok," said the Pidgeot who was working there. "You look kinda suspicious, so we're gonna search you before you leave."

"Aaaaaaaaw, crap!" said Jynx. So she ate the Pidgeot's brain and got on the plane problem-free.

BACK AT HAWAII....

"So Chokema, what's the big costume idea you've been so excited about?" Machoke asked.

"This is gonna be so kick-***!" said Chokema. Then she took out a large Girafarig costume. "This thing is cool! I'll be the head and you be the rear!"

"Yeah right, there's no way I'm gonna be stuck with my head facing your ***!"

"I don't have a ***!" said Chokema. "I only have a vent like a lizard!"

"Tooooo much information on Machoke anatomy!" Electabuzz said.

"I'll gladly be the rear if Machoke is the front!" said Mime.

"No way on that either, gramps," said Machoke. "Ever since I found out you're 50, I kinda....well....um....Look, this costume idea is stupid, ok?!"

"Great, how am I sopposed to be a Girafarig now?" Chokema whined.

"You could be a paralyzed Girafarig, dragging its legs!" said Nidoqueen. "I'm going to dress as a magnificent Butterfree!" Then Nidoqueen strapped on fake wings. "Convincing, huh?"

Everyone had an anime sweatdrop.

"Say, where's Magmar?" Electabuzz asked.

"Oh, he and Golduck are in the kitchen I think," said Nidoqueen. "I'm going to gracefully flutter in there to see if they have costumes." Nidoqueen skipped into the kitchen, causing the whole house to shake.

When she entered, she jumped in fright. "Oh my gosh, it's Jynx!"

The Jynx removed its head revealing Magmar. "It's just my Halloween costume. I'm so scared this time of year, I hope putting on this outfit will scare evil spirits away. What do you think, Golduck?"

Golduck looked tiredly up at Magmar. "Yeah, real great," she said in a weak voice. Then she rubbed her stomach and sighed painfully.

"Are you ok?" Magmar asked.

"Yeah, I think that last Cubone cookie is disagreeing with me. I'm going to the bathroom." Then Golduck slowly got up and left.

A few minutes after Golduck locked the bathroom door, Hitmonchan, Hitmonlee and Gastly strolled by, talking about the whole spirit of Jynx episode. Suddenly, they heard Golduck yelling loudly from the bathroom.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AAAAAAHHHH!!!! PAAAAIN!!!!"

The three stopped dead in their tracks. "That sounded like Golduck!" said Hitmonlee. Then she knocked on the door.

"GO AWAAAY!!! OOOWWWW!!!!"

"That must be one heck of a turd!" said Gastly.

Hitmonchan knocked on the door. "Hey Golduck, it's me. Listen hon, just close your eyes, concentrate, breath deeply, and push that poo out with all your might!"

"AAAAAAAHHH!! @#%&!!!!"

"Woa, she cussed!" said Gastly.

"Err, I guess we should leave her alone," Hitmonchan said.

"Man, that girl should lay off the bran muffins!" said Hitmonlee.

As the three walked off, Mime passed them in the hallway. He was stroking his hair, watching the indigo curls float off in every direction.

"Ohh, my beautiful youthful hair, slipping from my scalp!" Mime lamented. He stopped at the bathroom. He heard multiple flushes and Golduck cursing.

After the tenth flush, Mime heard Golduck say, "Good enough!" She then opened the door and quickly left.

"That was weird," said Mime. Then he caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Ack, my hair's so thin, it looks like I have two scraggly anteneas! Well, I'll just look at my reflection in the toilet bowl, maybe it'll look better there."

As Mime looked in the toilet, he yelled out. "Oh my god, I'm comepletely bald!!! Hey, wait a minute, that's not my reflection."

Mime reached into the toilet (ew) and took out a rather large white egg with blue and purple spots on it. "Woa, an egg!" he said.

Mime rushed into the living room where the males were. "Guys, look what I found in the toilet!"

"An egg!" said Machoke. "In the toilet?"

"Electabuzz must've finally started his diet, and is throwing away all the unhealthy food!" said Magmar.

Hitmonchan looked at Electabuzz, his eyes glistening. "Oh Electabuzz, I knew you'd finally listen to me and change your life style! I'm so proud of y..."

Just then Electabuzz electrified Hitmonchan with a Thunderbolt Attack. "The egg isn't mine, stupid! If anything, I'd eat that egg! Which I'm going to do now!"

"No, don't eat it!" said Magmar. "A big bird must've flown in here and dropped it in our toilet! It's our job to take care of it!"

"Must've been a pretty stupid bird," said Machoke.

A little while later, the boys were in Magmar and Electabuzz's room, trying to figure out what to do with the egg.

"Well, one of us has to sit on it," said Magmar. Just when he was about to get up on it, Hitmonchan stopped him.

"No, don't!" said Hitmonchan, "You're fiery tail will hard boil it!"

"Mmm, I'll sit on it!" Electabuzz said, licking his chops.

"Um, no," said Magmar. "How about you, Mime?"

"Nuh uh, I hate kids!" said Mime.

"Heh, I'd crush it," said Machoke.

"I have no body on which to sit with," said Gastly.

"That leaves only....me!" said Hitmonchan happily. Then he stood over the egg.

"Yer bony little body will puncture that egg for sure!" Electabuzz laughed.

"Oh, you're just jealous, egg-eater!" said Hitmonchan.

"Ok, Chan, lower yourself slowly so you don't crack it." Magmar said. Hitmonchan slowly bent his legs. Just when his little tush got in contact with the egg, Magmar yelled out. "WAIT, WAIT, IT'S CRACKING!" Hitmonchan leapt up quick as lightning.

"Oh wait, it's just one of Mime's hairs," said Magmar. Mime grumbled something under his breath. "Sorry Chan, let's try again."

Hitmonchan lowered himself slowly again, and sat down on the egg perfectly.

His eyes glistened (again). "I feel so honored....to contribute to nature's miracle of life! Say, how long does it take for eggs to hatch anyway?"

"If my memory serves me correctly," said Machoke, "Chokema took 2 years to hatch after my mom layed her egg. She told me I took 5, because I was her first one."

Hitmonchan's smile faded. "I guess I'm gonna miss the Halloween party, huh?"

"Heh heh, see ya later, Feraligatr!" Electabuzz teased as he, Mime, Machoke, and Gastly left.

Magmar put his hand (paw?) on Hitmonchan's shoulder. "I'll keep you company, I don't like Halloween parties anyway."

"Thanks, Magmar," said Hitmonchan. "On the bright side to egg-sitting, maybe the baby will come out looking like me like in Horton the Donphan!"

"Yeeeaahh," said Magmar doubtedly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang and the girls were gathered in the kitchen.

"Hey Golduck!" said Hitmonlee, "Why were you in the bathroom for so long?"

"Oh, I had, um, the runs," Golduck answered nervously. Trying to change the subject, she turned to Chokema and asked, "What's your costume sopposed to be?"

"It's a paralyzed Girafarig, can't you tell?" She answered moodily. "Are you sopposed to be a Furret? You have stripes on your sides."

"Huh? I do?" Golduck looked down. Oh no, I got stretch marks from that stupid egg! "Um, no, uh, I'll BRB!" And with that, Golduck zoomed off.

"Oh kay," said Hitmonlee. Then she turned to Electabuzz, who was wearing food. "And what are you?"

"I'm Sprite: Scallion of the Cinnamon!" he answered.

Machoke, who had painted himself green and yellow really fast, said, "I'm a Kecleon!"

"How about you, Mime?" Hitmonlee asked him.

Mime glared at her angrily. "I'm an old balding clown!" he cried. Then he stormed off.

MEANWHILE.....

Don't forget about Zombie-Jynx, ok?

BACK IN HAWAII.....

Hitmonchan was still sitting on the egg while Magmar was reading a book.

"A Hitmonchan's faithful, 100%!" Hitmonchan sighed. Just then Mr. Mime entered.

"Hey, Clownie," Magmar greeted.

"How's the egg?!" Mime demanded.

"Oh, it's.....hey, why's it moving?" Hitmonchan said.

"Oh my god, it must be hatching!" Magmar jumped out of his chair and rushed to the egg.

He, Hitmonchan, and Mime, who had forgotten about his hair-loss crisis, excitedly gathered around the egg.

The egg cracked little by little until finally....POW! Egg shells went flying everywhere! And sitting in the egg's place was a rather ugly critter. It looked like an orange Magby, but its eyes and beak were that of a Psyduck's. "Psaaaaaaaagby!" the chick peeped.

Hitmonchan reached out for the baby. "It is sooooo cute! Aww, come here little..."

Suddenly, Mime slapped Hitmonchan's hand away. "Don't touch him, he's mine, I found him!"

"But I hatched him!" Hitmonchan said. "And besides, you don't even like kids!"

"Weird, I wonder why he looks like a Psyduck?" Magmar asked.

"Because he's our son." Magmar and the boys spun around and saw Golduck in the doorway. She strolled up to the Psagby and picked him up.

"Wha....When?!" Magmar started.

"Remember when we first met, Magmar, and we made love on the beach? Well, look what happened!" Then she started crying. Psagby held his eternally aching head in pain.

"Why was he in the toilet then?" Magmar questioned.

"Because, I didn't want you to see him! I ruined your gay-ness forever!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" said Mime.

"As mean as that sounds, I have to agree with Mime on that one," said Hitmonchan. "Look, we don't have a `Homo Code of Conduct and Rules'. So don't sweat it, ok Goldy?"

"That's not all!" wailed Golduck, "What is Electabuzz gonna say about it?"

Magmar thought for a second. "Eh, that's one to worry about."

"Hey, I can go back to the party!" Hitmonchan said happily. "Last one there is a rotten egg....oops, sorry Magmar!"

As he left, Magmar sighed. Then he looked down at Golduck. "Hey, when'd you get those stripes?"

Golduck punched Magmar in the face. Poor little Psagby's headache worsened just at the sight of seeing his father's pain.

When Hitmonchan entered the living room where everyone else was gathered, Gastly said, "Ah, you arrived just in time!" Suddenly, the lights went out. Gastly laughed evily, like Jack in Nightmare Before Christmas.

"With me here," Gastly said in his scary voice, "Are the body parts recovered from Jynx's burial!" He picked up peeled grapes with his smoke, which he can also use as an arm.

"These are her eyes!"

"This is so lame," Chokema complained.

"Shut up, I love this thing!" said Machoke.

"You would, you're so immature," said Chokema.

"Why you little...." Then there were punching noises and Machoke and Chokema were growling and cursing.

"Hey, break it up kids, ok?" Gastly ordered. After the two calmed down, Gastly continued. He lifted up a handful of speghetti. "These are her braaaaiiiiiins!"

Gastly passed the speghetti around. Then he picked up a chunk of Jell-O. "And this is her...."

"Hey, I'm not getting brains over here," Chokema called out.

"I thought you didn't like this game?" Machoke said.

"Well, I passed the s'ghetti down," said Hitmonlee. "The only thing between you and me is Electabuzz."

"Look, guys," Electabuzz growled, "just because I like to eat doesn't mean I ate the speghetti. I don't even like the stuff!"

There was suddenly a slurping sound. "Braaaains!" A voice moaned.

Gastly flipped the lights on, and to everyone's surprise, it was a zombified Jynx!

"Holy crap!" everyone said.

"That's not Jynx!" said Nidoqueen, "It's only Magmar. I saw him earlier with a Jynx costume on."

"Hey, this stuff isn't braaaaains!" said Zombie-Jynx.

Back in the bedroom, Magmar, Golduck, and Mime had heard everyone yell out, so they went in the living room to see what was going on. To their surprise, there was Jynx!

"Hi Magmar, glad you could join us!" Hitmonchan greeted.

"Wait, if that's Magmar, then who's this?" Electabuzz asked.

Everyone looked back at Zombie-Jynx. She was just standing there with flies buzzing around her.

"How diabolical!" Electabuzz yelled. "Jynx is trying to fool us by disguising as Magmar!" He then pounced on Magmar, then started electrocuting him.

"Aaaah, stop it!" Hitmonchan cried. He tried to pull Electabuzz off, then he got zapped himself.

"This IS Magmar, you yellow dolt!" Golduck yelled.

"No it's not, I almost have her down!" Electabuzz yelled back. Suddenly, something grabbed his tail, and his electricity stopped coming out. Electabuzz looked back, and saw Nidoqueen holding his tail to prevent electricity from coming out (remember, Ground beats Electric!).

Electabuzz looked back at Magmar, who had steam coming off his twitching body. "Eh, hee hee, sorry buddy!"

Magmar could barely cough out a "No problem" just before he fainted.

"My poor baby!" said Golduck, kneeling by Magmar. Meanwhile, she didn't notice Psagby waddle off holding his aching head. Actually, no one noticed him, since they were focusing their attention on scolding the now defensive Electabuzz. Psagby stupidly toddled right up to Zombie-Jynx.

"Braaaaains!" said Jynx. Then she picked Psagby up and started crunching down on his thick head. The poor creature was flailing and screaming helplessly.

Everyone turned back around. "Oh yeah, Jynx!" said Hitmonlee, "I forgot all about her!"

"Oh my god, she's chomping on...that thing!" Nidoqueen yelled out.

Surprisingly, Golduck didn't seem the least bit worried. "Guys, don't sweat it," she said. "A Psyduck's power only comes out when its headache worsens. And I think it's about to happen now!"

Sure enough, Psagby's eyes started glowing an eerie light blue. He jumped from Jynx's mouth and landed in front of her. Psagby opened his mouth to unleash his most devastating attack, a combination of Fire and Water....steam. The steam just swished past Jynx, not harming her at all.

"That wasn't so..." Electabuzz started, but then he started hacking. Electabuzz got down on all fours, arched his back, and hwarfed up a big blue ball of curly fuzz.

"Ew, what is that?" Golduck asked.

"It's Mime's hair!" said Machoke. "Maybe we can use his hair to stop Jynx!"

"How?"

Suddenly, Machoke picked Mime up, and started shaking him like a can of spray paint. "Everyone, hold your breath!" he said. "This hair will surely kill Jynx!"

Jynx just stood there. Mime's hair landed on the surface of her eyeballs, but she didn't react.

"You can't kill a zombie, duh!" said Hitmonlee.

"I'm sorry, but the author of the story has some serious writer's block," said Machoke. "I'll BRB!"

Meanwhile, I was sitting at my computer, typing this stupid story. The moniter started rumbling and shaking. Suddenly, Machoke popped out of the moniter, shattering it because of his ginormous size (actually, he's pretty small for a Machoke, being 4' 2" and 122 lbs).

"Hey, we need some help in there!" Machoke said.

I was stunned for a few moments. Then I spoke: "Woa! Your voice sounds like Spyro's in the 2 Spyro sequeals!"

"It's because you imagine Tom Kenny to do my voice!" Machoke replied. "Anyway, I came out here to discuss our `Kill Jynx in an Original Way' problem."

"Yeah, I've been losing my creative edge lately," I sighed. "Let's start trying to solve this....hey, you broke my moniter!!!"

Machoke looked back. "Hey, don't sweat it!" he said, "I make stuff out of coconuts shells all the time! Let's go to the grocery store and pick out a nice shell."

To prevent people from giving us strange looks when we went out, I gave Machoke some clothes, a hat, and sunglasses to put on. He said, "But won't people be wondering why I have a broad muzzle, protruding fangs, and storm blue skin?"

"Nah," I replied, "I live in a redneck town. People will just think you're inbred!"

Because Selby's Market is only a few minutes away from my house, Machoke and I walked. As we were picking out a good coconut, we were trying to decide on how we'd kill Jynx.

"I could have Magmar burn her," I said. "Jynx is a rotting corpse, she can burn easily."

"But that's how we killed her the first time, duh!" said Machoke.

"Um....well, the moon-head Eevee can come back and..."

"That's how we did it the 2nd time."

"Er....um... Oh, I got it! This'll be real good!"

"What?"

"I can't tell you...it's a surprise!"

After we went back and Machoke made me a new moniter (this one is REALLY huge!), he went into the new computer screen and back into the story.

"All right fellas, don't worry, Katelyn said that she knows how to end the story!" Machoke reassured everyone.

Suddenly, 2 Houndooms with Ponyta back legs and Dragonite wings burst into the beach house. A large Charizard with a Ponyta bottom half (from the 3rd story) soon followed.

"There you are, you big-lipped corpse!" the Charizard said. The Houndooms stood by Jynx's sides, making a baricade around her.

"Wha...?!" everyone said.

The Charizard approached Psagby. He smiled.

"Thanks to this little guy's steam signals, we were able to pinpoint Jynx's location," he said.

Golduck ran up to her son. "I'm so proud of you, Psagby!"

"But...what were you doing above ground?" Electabuzz asked.

Charizard bonked him on the head. "I just explained that we were searching for her, doofus!"

"How did Jynx come back then?" Electabuzz snarled.

One of the Houndooms stepped up. He pulled a little Houndour out from behind his back. "My daughter summoned her! Now, apologize to these freaks!"

The Houndour (the same one from the beginning of the story) grumbled an apology.

"Now, we must take this poor soul back to the afterlife," said Charizard and in a puff of hellish red smoke, he, Jynx and the Houndooms vanished.

"This was the crappiest ending ever!" said Hitmonlee. "And where did this Psagby thing come from?"

Golduck was just about to explain, but Magmar came to. "Remember the 2nd Jynx story?" Magmar asked everyone.

Everyone else said yes, except for Chokema, for she didn't appear until the 3rd one.

"Well, I guess I'm not gay anymore!" said Magmar. "Now I'm bi!"

"But Magmar!" said Electabuzz. "Since you have a son and all, who are you going to live with...us or the girls?"

Magmar was silent. He looked at Golduck, then back at Electabuzz.

Now it was Golduck who spoke. "If you don't want to leave Hawaii, Psagby can live with us in Jynx's abandoned castle. We'll visit often, don't worry."

"This may be a little off topic," said Nidoqueen, "but I just noticed that my brother Nidoking isn't here. Where is he?"

The boys all looked at Chokema (remember, she accidentally killed him in the 3rd story?).

Chokema laughed nervously. "I have no idea!" she said, a big old metaphoric sweatdrop hanging next to her head.

"Even further off topic," said Mime, "What was the point of having me go bald in the stor...wait, my hair feels thicker! It's a miracle!"

As Mime whooped and did cartwheels in joy, Hitmonchan just realized something. "Now I remember!" he said. "I recently made this special shampoo for hairless Pokémon to have glistening skin. It must've made your hair fall out when you used it, Mime!"

"That's right, now I remember! I'm actually 49 for 3 more months! But Electabuzz has hair...well, fur...too. How come he's not balding?"

"Do I feel a draft?" Electabuzz asked himself. Everyone else was snickering. Electabuzz looked confused, so he turned around. To his horror, there were hairless patches on his back and tail!

Everyone started laughing at poor Electabuzz except for Magmar, Golduck and Psagby. Magmar's blue eyes (they are blue, BTW) glistened as he looked deeply into Golduck's red ones.

"I'm gonna miss you," he said. "The boys need me, though. You do promise to visit often, right?"

Golduck was silent for a moment. "I would love to stay with you, I enjoy the tropical weather. But I have the same problem. The girls also need me...and someone needs to make sure our hunky Feraligatr man-slaves are taken care of!"

"Huh?!"

"Um, scratch that last part!"

The two duck-things looked at Psagby who was entertaining himself by making steam rings. Golduck sighed and picked him up (I just noticed that there's a lot of sighing in this story!) "I guess we ought to get going. Lady Hitmonlee, Nidoqueen, Chokema, let's move it!"

"Awww, do we hafta go?" Chokema whined.

"Yes," said Golduck.

So after exchanging good-byes and shedding some tears, the girl Pok'mon created a large vortex in the shape of a female symbol with their minds, and they jumped through the loop part.

"I hope Psagby turns out ok," said Magmar.

"He'll be just fine!" Hitmonchan reassured him. "Woa, a big, black cloudy swirl suddenly appeared in the sky!"

So everyone looked up. A few moments later, an Umbreon with a cresent moon on his forhead instead of a yellow ring tumbled out.

"Heyas goys, remembah meh?" the New York accented eon asked.

"Yes," Gastly said,"When you were an Eevee, you helped these guys defeat me when I was working for Jynx."

"And yeh not mad?"

"Nope, by being defeated, I found a family!"

"Ack, dat sounds so sappy!" said Umbreon. "So, wuzzup?"

Magmar, Electabuzz, Hitmonchan, Machoke and Mime explained all the adventures they had at the same time. After they finished, Umbreon's sensitive ears quivered until he spoke again. "I decided tah come down hey from da Spirit of Mewtwo's pad so I could visichyo goys."

"I must say, I love your iredescent black fur!" Magmar complimented.

"Tanx," said Umbreon. "Speakin' of fuh, yo Electabuzz, is dat a worm hangin' outta yo butt or is ya a lil' shoyt on heya?"

Electabuzz curled up and sat on his tail. "It's a long story," he grumbled, shooting an evil look at Hitmonchan.

"Um, changing the subject," siad Hitmonchan, "would you like a cookie?"

"Oh sho, I love sweet stuff!" Umbreon said excitedly. He frowned when he saw the cookies' shapes. "Hey, is dat an Umbreon cookie! I sweya, my kind is treated like goofy myascots at dis time of yeya!"

Magmar looked over at Hitmonchan who was trying to hold in his anguish.

"Here we go again!" Magmar said, just as Hitmonchan ran off saying, "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"

Everyone else just did that corny end-of-a-story laugh, and Umbreon bit off the Umbreon cookie's head.

MEANWHILE, WHERE THE GIRLS AND PSAGBY ARE....

"I feel kinda weird having a guy here who isn't going to be a man-slave," said Nidoqueen.

"I'm going to raise my son in a politically correct environment where the genders are treated with equal respect," said Golduck.

"Well said, girlfriend!" said Lady Hitmonlee. Suddenly, Chokema went by riding on a Feraligatr slave, whipping him.

"Hoo, I'm glad I moved here!" Chokema whooped.

THE END :)