Quest for Elvis

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, here is where I just sit here and think and then maybe it will be something? Anyway, here's Chapter 1:

Chapter 1:

Wow. I'm a person that lives in a little house on that prairie right over there! See it, it's by your house over there? I really don't know why I'm telling you this, though. You can see it all through your window. That's right, you have a window. Don't blame me, though, I just broke it for you! Then I got chased, and then I had a dream that you were chasing me. It turned out I was just lying and you really were chasing me! Then I got angry becasue you took my head, only it wasn't mine, so the person who it was got mad at me! So why did you take my head, anyway? It's not yours, so why does it belong to you? Anyway, one day I was in the Apartment when all of a sudden, there's this knock on the door. Then the Government will come, because I'm a theif. Why doesn't this make sense, I'm a perfectly sensical person? Well, a while ago I got dead. Then I got live, or whatever the hell it's called. I just think that you should leave the leprechauns alone. So anyway, the government came and took away my elvis CD because he ain't the King any more. So I said "Why the hell ain't he the king no more?" Said I.
"Well I'm the government" Says government.
Well, I ain't gonna take none o' that **** without first eating the beatles, because they're awesome. The government got away without eating MY chezze, but I wasn't ready for them that time. So I followed my nose and got to the Fruit Loop Palace in the sky of doom.
"Is there realy this happen?"Only I ask it?
"Nope sorry. Hey, are you the cute kid?" Says the turtle as I plummet! "No I ain't subscribin to none of your bull?"!I say.
"Who is that being spoken to by the you?" Says the high and mighty GRAND MIGHTY NEED!
Well, I don't feel like the answer to that question, so that's what I says.
"I didn't ask you about the answer of you?" Says NEEDMAN.
Then I run because I must find the ELVIS because he sucks. So I go to finding the government because they are the ones who are taking the ELVS out of thelife of mine. Anyway, I get to the place where they have stolen teh cd from, but it's actually my little hosue, with not only the chimney, but the fire place as well!
Well then, I guess you're settled by lord? I think after you read this you'll discover that the government killed the beatles, and ELVIS, and that Yoko Ono is president because she's so evil.

---END CHAPTER 1---

If you didn't understand that, HAHAHA! I DID! It's very easy to understand, you fools.
[I didn't mean it baby. You know I loves ya]

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 2:

Well, now I've searched! So while searching, I've been attacked! Attackers!
Well, while being attacked, I was eaten alive by the horrible WHERE AM I? and so I ask it "Why has all the elvis gon o yyy!"
An? It say to me Well "Yippee Yay Weeeeeeeeeeeeeedelyhoodney!" "So the KKDNONKO has taken it after all?" Well then he just stares.
*stare*
*stare*
*stare*
*stare*
*stare*
Oh? Well then, were's the beef? I've search for it, many years been searching, but only the almighty himself can be bruce! I hate stuff? Now then, be a good little fledgeling and eat mommy's beans, okay?
So that was off track, but after the staring-
*stare*
*stare*
*stare*
The just big Where? has not seen nor heard of the tail of elvis, so I ask him. "Where is the hide nor hair of him?" Well now, I'm not going to the mall with YOU after all, mr. Saying naughty things
"I'd like the mall please?" Says that.
"WELL now, That's my bush!" Says Bush. Oh now now, please do come join us for dinner, we'll put on a lovely show.
Then bush steals my Elvis Tshirt and shred it with the others.
"NOOO! BUSH HAVE BETRAY ME!"
"Elvis bad! Hee hee ha!"
Now bush have given me the angry, and I have the power of the hulk in my hands! So then the attacks come again, not quite as long but as sharp and faithful as the wind, blowing up with all the force of a string bean, so follow us, beanpole!