5th Round

[Mindprobe]

5th Round


Prologue

I opened the first page of my new diary and took a silver, metallic pen on my hand and clicked it. I drew few lines to test it on a piece of wrapping paper. It produced a nice black line.

"Hello Diary,

It's my birthday today. I got you as a present, a weird present. Boys don't usually get diaries or then they keep it as a secret really well. It's thought as a more girlish thing, but well, now that I have you, what else should I do with you, throw you in the bin?

So, my name is Tod Guy Roswell and I'm 15-years-old. I have short brown hair with blonde stripes and choklad brown eyes. I'm 172 centimetres tall and I weigh about 56 kilos. I'm athletic, not slim. My favourite clothes that I like to wear are red cap (backways), yellow vest with a black tank top under it. Dark brown shorts with black belt. Then I have brown, mocha shoes with light brown shoelaces.

I intend to wear them tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I leave on my journey to Johto league. Eight gyms in eight different cities far from each other. I must collect a badge from each one of them, by winning the gym leader there. Then, when I have done that, I'll enter Grand Championships of Johto. The best trainers from Johto are there. Mum is of course, hysterical about it. She just can't imagine me alone in the wild, with a tent and some can food, travelling long distances. But I like it. I've always liked camping and adventuring alot.

Dad died, or so they say, but somewhere in my heart, I know he's alive, when I was nine. He disseapered into sea while he was fishing. I miss him alot. But I'm glad I spend some time with him. At least some...

My mum is always hysterical about my security. Partly the fact because dad went missing on sea. A part from nature, I loved sea very much. but mum forbid me from going there. I think that was really overprotecting, but that's my mum's nature and I have to cope with it. Not that I don't love her, but I can bet on that she calls me every other hour to make sure I'm safe. I'm going to go nuts.

My dad took me to camping trips when I was eight. I loved it, much for the fact that I got my first pokemon there. Dad helped me capture it with his strong Gastly. The pokemon became my friend, I named it Zag. It's male Sentret. Brown round thing with a strong tail to stand with and a circle on his stomach like alll Sentret's have. Allthough Zag is not my favourite kind of pokemon, I still love it from all my heart.

To aid on my journey, the local professor is going to give me an extra pokemon and a pokedex to start with. I live in a tiny village, so the town couldn't afford to do any better. I'm even slightly suspicious about the pokemon I'm going to get. I doubt it's anything like Chikorita or Bulbasaur. Allthough they would help me alot. You see, Sentrets are not strong, in fact, they are quite weak. In my oppinion.

As I said previously, mum is being hysterical. She has bought me a new backpack and even two pokeballs, which are really expensive. She packed everything two days ago. I just hope she doesn't start hugging and kissing and crying in front of my friends, Mary and Mac. Mary and Mac give me some company on my journey. Allthough we travel in group, each of us are inviduals, competitors against each other.

Mary and Mac are twins. Allthough different sex. Mary always has her Jigglypuff with her. Her favourite color is pink, which you can see from her pokemon and her clothing. Long, red haired tied in a ponytail, pink ponytail. Pink shirt with dark red trousers. She even paints her pokeballs pink. If Mac would be exactly same, I'd think he's gay. But he's totally different. He has black hair and some red stripes and dark brown eyes. Black jeans with red college shirt and a black t-shirt under it. His pokeballs are black from under and red from top. He even wears black sunglasses. Kind of reminds me of Men in Black, but I think he looks cool. Mary is the only one from either of them to own a pokemon. Mac's getting his first tomorrow, and Mary her second, like I.

I guess I should go asleep now, big day tomorrow. And I wouldn't like to be late like Ash Ketchum a famous pokemonmaster. He woke up late... Oh god this is stupid! Girls are nuts! I mean, they are practically talking to a pile of papers. Gee that's so stupid"

I threw the diary into the bin. That was really stupid, well, at least I spent some time practising my hand writing. I closed the light in my room and slipped in my bed. In few moments I was asleep.

[mistysakura]

This fic is pretty original. I like how you introduced the main character and background info with a diary, since sometimes people just randomly go "I'm Tom. I'm thirteen, and I\'m going to get my first Pokemon. I live in Blah Town." That annoys me. The bit with him throwing the diary away was funny too. Thgere were a few grammar errors, but overall they were barelynoticable. Remember it's "although", not "allthough".

Great job, especially for a prologue.

[Mindprobe]

Mistysakura: Thank you for reading. The fact that I know now that someone actually reads what I write is a fact that keeps me going ;) Thank you!


Chapter Two:
Towards the rising sun!

My clock woke me up with a bright ring. I pushed myself up the bed and went to the bathroom. I watched myself from the mirror. My hair was all messed up, no wonder, I could barely sleep last night. I'm so excited about this day. I wet my comb so I could get my hair straight. Then I brushed my teeth and went back to my room to get dressed.

I pulled my favourite clothes. The dark brown jeans and yellow vest with a sleevles black shirt under it. I placed my only pokeball on the side of the jeans and the two other, empty ones right under it. It looked kind of cool. I took my backpack and went downstairs. Mum was cooking me a breakfast.

She was humming a tone, like she always does. Her dark brown hair was tied in a ponytail, something not so...eh...mother.

"I made some sandwiches for you. Put them in your backpack, so you can take them with you and eat," mum was acting strangely. Normally she would be hectic and make sure three times that I had everything. "They are on the table."

"Okey mum," I replied. I was eating a really big piece of toasted bread that I was about to choke to it. I finished my breakfast and grabbed my backpack from the side of the door. I slid the sandwiches, which mum had made, into the backpack's pocket.

"Tod," mum's voice was sounded like she was about to cry. "Oh no," I thought myself "Here we go." My took a good grip of my shoulder and forced me into a strong hug and a small kiss on the cheek. "Promise to call me when you get to the first city with a pokemoncenter," I just nodded as a response. "Now, good luck on your journey. If you need any help, just call me."

"Okey mum," I responded and turned away. I opened the door. It was really clear day. Bright blue sky and the sun shined happily in the sky. The stoned bath led me to the road.

"Take this Tod," mum said and gave me a strange looking pendant. It had a silver chain and somekind of bird circling around it. "It belonged to your dad. It's to bring luck," mum said and wrapped the necklace around my neck.

"Thanks mum," I said. I was touched slightly, but not nearly as much as mum.

"Oh Tod!" mum burst into tears and hugged me thightly. Just like I had expected.

"Tod!" mum released me. It was Mac and Mary and their dad driving the car. "Come on! We don't have all day," Mac shouted and opened the door in the back.

"Good bye, honey!" mum said and dryed her tears. "Call me once you get to the first city with a pokemon center."

"Bye mum!" I shouted from the car. The car started moving. I sat on the back with Mac, Mary sat on the front and played with her Jigglypuff, which she named "Puff" by the way. Kind of stupid I think, name a pokemon by ripping part of it's species name away. The seats were black leather. Really nice.

"So Tod, going to get your first pokemon aswell?" Mac's and Mary's dad, Matt asked.

"No, he'll receive his second like me, dad," Mary answered for me. I just watched the scenery outside the window. Bushes, trees and other houses went by quickly. It was all quiet this time of morning. The sun had barely reached over the horisont. Mac was quite quiet the whole trip to professor's lab. I wonder what's it about.

The car stopped in front of two store building. It was painted white. We stepped out of the car and walked into the lab. Mac's dad just drove away, without saying goodbyes.

"They had a fight. Mac and dad. That's why he's so quiet," While entering the lab, Mary pushed herself near me and whispered. "But I guess he'll be back to talkative himself soon," Mary whispered and gave a light laugh. I just grinned. That reminded me of the day dad dissapeared in the sea. We had a fight aswell. I realised that we broke up in fight and the last words I told him was "I wish you never excisted!" Of course I had realised this ages ago. And everytime I thought that to myself, I became sad. I would do anything to say to dad for the last time, that I'm sorry. I swallowed all my grief down my throat, when we entered the professor's office.

It was clean office. Shining floors and windows. Few plants, that were half dead. I wonder why they didn't throw them to the bin, like I did to the diary yesterday. I got embarassed when I thought about it, I wrote three pages of my past history and my friends and family. That was really stupid.

"Hello Mary, Mac and Tod," the professor came in with a cardboard box in his arms. The second I saw it, I knew it had to be full of all kind of equipment and pokemon for us. "Big day today for you," the professor placed the box on his table and sat down. "Without any big speeches, I'll give you the equipment and let you go. But before that, I have to give you a speech about the upcoming dangers that you may face." the professor coughed once to raise his voice.


After some time...

"Oh my god!" I thought myself. It felt like the speech lasted two hours. I watched the clock and realised, it really took two hours. "Just a little speech. What an idiot." Mary and Mac didn't seem too intrested on the stuff he said either.

"Now it's time for me to hand you some stuff," the professor said. He took a knife and opened the cardboard box. When I said before, that it had to be full of pokemon, well, that wasn't entirely true. The package contained three pokeballs and three out dated pokedexes. And a stupid booklet that told us how dangerous pokemon Pidgeys can be. I rolled my eyes as I read through it. I decided to throw it into the bin as well, it belonged there. Mary and Mac rolled their eyes as they read through the booklet as well. I grinned slightly. "Here are your new mates," the professor gave us all one pokeball. "They are really strong pokemon, so give them a life they deserve."

When he said that they are strong, I really thought it could be something like Chikorita or Bulbasaur. Again, that wasn't entirely true. Mac got a male Eevee, which he named "Black". That was the best of the three. Mary got a Cleffa. She named it "Pinky". Weird and girlish, isn't it. And now, what I got, a stupid Wurmple. I sighed as I watched the small worm move on the floor. "Really strong pokemon. Yeah right.". Even Mary and Mac gave me a grin when they saw my pokemon.

"Check your pokedexes, they have alot of information about your pokemon," professor said. Now that wasn't entirely true either. When I tried to analyze Wurmple, it just said: "Can't find from database, immadeutly report to nearest professor for a prize for your find." Mary, Mac and I watched each other for awhile and then rolled our eyes. "Just great!" I thought myself.

"Go on, your journey awaits you." Now that was the first entirely true thing professor had said for awhile. We all recalled our pokemon into our pokeballs and ran out of the door, the building, the town we had grown. We only stopped the peek of the hill to watch back. Our home was behind us and the life ahead of us. We turned and continued our journey towards the rising sun.


Pokedex

Tod: Sentret(8 ), Wurmple(5)

Mary: Jigglypuff(6), Cleffa (5)

Mac: Eevee(5)

[mistysakura]

Wurmple. That's cool. I like the originality in this fic already, what with the outdated pokedexes and stuff.

[mr_pikachu]

Heh. Wurmple. :P lol, that's funny. And outdated Pokedexes, hah! But the best was the "Beware of wild Pidgey" booklet. :D This professor is... how do I say this politely... AN IDIOT!!

This is very original so far, which is always a good thing for a fic. The only thing I really have to complain about is the grammar, which really isn't all that great. Some of the words that are being used have meanings that apply to the situation, but don't really fit in "correct" English. But don't worry. If you think that's bad, you should try learning an entirely new language. (I'm terrible at Spanish! :()

Anyway, you're doing fine so far. A good idea might be for you to observe some of the other fics around TPM, or some good novels to get a feel for how words are typically used. You're doing a great job, though. It's better than many fics I've seen. Keep up the good work, and I'll be reading! :wave:

[Topaz]

Hey, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself with your story. I too think its darn original the way you started, and I liked it even better when Tod just tossed it in the bin. You have such a fluid, yet casual way of writing, which is just the way I love them. Even better is how you get a Wurmple! A Wurmple is something I'd never thought of, nor be able to tolerate if it was my first. I await more, but don't rush yourself and ruin a brilliant fiction!

[Mindprobe]

Wow, replies o.O!

mistysakura: Thanks for reading. I really appriciate you didn't start being a closet reader. I have few times noticed that it is really important to a newcoming fic writer to have replies to their fic. If they don't get any replies, they stop writing. I think you are really nice and friendly to bother to read through a lot of fics and bother replying to them. So, points to you ;)

mr_pikachu: Thank you for your reply. I really got some nice, constructive critism(eh, spelling?) from you. For that grammar, well, being able to speak 3 different languages and just a little of one I can't be perfect with them. Well, except my national language, which is Finnish. Then there's the second official language of Finland, Swedish. Then there's English, the language I favor the most btw ;) . And the one language that I find the hardest from these four, is french. It's a pain in the arse really ;) But I'll try to read through some of the fics to improve my grammar, thanks for pointing that one out. And thank you again for your reply.

Topaz: Thanks for reading and replying. Nice to know that you like it. Don't worry, I can't hurry with that third chapter, I have some exams and stuff coming. I don't want to ruin my fic, so maybe it's just better if I can't hurry right now.

[DannyBoy]

So far so good! The prologe was short and good. It got things out there and told us about the main character. The first chapter is good. it seems kinda original with the pokemon and the hand book. But its still good. Keep it up!