Sin: A Legend is Made

[SWAMPERT1]

Sin: A Legend is Made

Prolog

The story begins in a beautiful land known as Roxco. In this land there is many creatures known as Pokemon who roam alongside humans like you and me. It is not a rare thing to see trainers collect and battle these Pokemon against powerful trainers known as “Gym Leaders” to collect special badges which will let them go and challenge the best trainers known as “The Elite Four” and if they win they may go on to challenge the world champion.

Today a young boy who goes by the name of Sin will live out is a legend that he was assigned years before he was born, to become the champion of Roxco. Now join young Sin on his journey for one thing only. To be number one…..

[DannyBoy]

Hey, this sounds familar. Didnt you do a fic with a guy named Sin before? Well the prologe is ok, didn't really say or tell much about it. Just that its a boy named Sin who is going to be a trainer. Like before I have probably said make sure to make this original. Don't have it be go to proffesor, get normal starter... Make it really juciey and intersting. Make sure to have good length and description and you wont have any probloms. Can't wait to see how the first chapter will be. I will keep reading to see how you do. Keep it up!

[Topaz]

Well, that is interesting, dramatic, but where are we gonna go from there? I agree with MistySakura, go a different way from the usual kids journey fics, make it truely bizarre!

[mistysakura]

Huh? Did I post? *realises* Ah. Now I get it. The name's ILoveX-TINA.

I do agree that this soudns familiar; is this a repost? Not a bad prologue; a bit short, though, but then that's what most prologues are. I personally prefer around 1-2 wrod pages, but it doesn't really matter.

I hope you continue this fic, and make it original.

[SWAMPERT1]

umm its not a repost and ill make it original. keep reading everyone

[EDIT]: Here is a little spoiler for the next chapter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’ll just go outside and play for a little while” Sin said to his mother.

“Okay honey. Make sure your not late for breakfast.” Sin’s mom now replied.

So, Sin put on his white skate shoes and headed outside were he saw the nice little town of Ragol were he lived. Ragol was a small town that had one pokemart, one pokecenter and only abought one-hundred other houses. Sin walked down his road and desided to play with his pal, Less.

[SWAMPERT1]

Next Chapter is up. BTW sorry for 2x posting.[EDIT]: Next chapter will be up around next week, this time.
~~~~~~~~

Sin: A Legend is Made

Chapter 1

It Begins…

“Beep…Beep…Beep!” Sin’s alarm clock beeped at exactly 7:30. It was time to get up and start an ordinary day for Sin, or so he thought.

Sin leaned over and shut of his beeping alarm clock and quickly got up.

“What a beautiful day.” Sin said while walking towards his window blinds. Sin grabbed the green blinds and spread them a part, letting the sunlight overflow his dark rooms.

“Much better.” Sin said with a smile.

Sin ten turned around and walked towards his old, beat up, wooden dresser and pulled out today’s clothes. Sin grabbed his close and put it on his tan, 5’7, and 130lbs body. He was wearing a plain, baggy red shirt, which had a little picture of a black dragon curling around an ultra ball on the left sleeve. For his pants he wore black shorts which went down past his knees. He also wore a pure white pair of ankle socks on his feet.

After putting on his clothes, Sin walked to his door checking out his messy, dirty blonde hair as he walked by. “God I need to do my hair.” Sin said with a disappointment at his hair. Sin then opened up his wooden door, only to see his young pet cat, meowth. Sin petted the white cat like creature and walked down the hallway to the bathroom.

Sin walked into his bathroom. It had blue walls and white and black tile on the ground, along with a sink, toilet and a tub. Sin went into a drawer and grabbed some hair gel and squirted it into his hands and spiked up his hair. He then got out a toothbrush and brushed his teeth.

After putting away all the stuff, Sin walked out to the hall way once again, this time he walked to the stairs and walked down them only to take the last step and see his mom standing in the kitchen which was located right beside the stair way, through a door (which was open).

“Hello Sin.” A beautiful women, who was Sins mom, said with a smile. Sin’s Mom was bought 5’7” and was tanned just like Sin. She had a good figure and at the moment was wearing a long sky blue night while making a breakfast for Sin and her (unfortunately Sin’s father died when he was 8 in a tragic construction accident).

“Sin breakfast will be ready in an hour.” Sin’s mother said.

“Okay mom.” Sin replied.

“I’ll just go outside and play for a little while” Sin said to his mother.

“Okay honey. Make sure your not late for breakfast.” Sin’s mom now replied.

So, Sin put on his white skate shoes and headed outside were he saw the nice little town of Ragol were he lived. Ragol was a small town that had one pokemart, one pokecenter and only bought one hundred other houses. Sin walked down his road and decided to play with his pal, Less.

“Hey Less!” Sin yelled at his friend.

Confused, Less turned around and looked at Sin with a smile. Less was about the same height as Sin but was more muscular. He wore a pure black shirt, a white pair of shorts and had on a pair of red skate shoes.

“Hey Sin!” Less yelled.
Sin continued to run to his friend. Finally he got to his friend.

“Hey, wanna play?” Sin asked.

“No thanks.” Less said. “Today my father gave me a Mankey so now I’m…” Less stopped speaking. It seemed liked he was terribly said. “I’m…. I’m leaving to start on a pokemon journey.”

“What?” Sin said in surprise.

“I’m sorry I cant stay back with you until you some how get a pokemon but I need to start myself a reputation…and a life. Good-bye.” Less said sadly.

“But less, you…. You promised that one day we would start a quest together.”

“Sorry Sin. That was when we were little kids. Things change. Sorry.”

And with that Less turned around on the old, dirt trail and walked into the world of pokemon… without his best friend.

But then out of no were Sin gave a huge smile.

“Hey Less.” Sin yelled as loud as he could.

Less turned around and said, “What?!?”

“Hey ill see you at the Pokemon League Championship.” Sin yelled.

“But how? You don’t have a pokemon!” Less said confused.

“Don’t worry. Just be prepared for the greatest battle ever.” Sin yelled back

“What ever you say Sin” Less said as he once again turned around ad started to once again, walk down the old, dusty trail.

“Damn, now I need a pokemon.” Sin said to himself madly.

“Hey…” Sin said with a huge smile. “My pet Rattata, cheese, dad gave me before he died. I could use that for a pokemon. It has a pokeball and everything.”

So with Rattata in mind, Sin ran home as fast as he could.

* * * * *
Sin quickly arrived home when he saw his mom working in the garden.

“Hi mom, um I don’t know how to say this but I need to start my pokemon journey.”

“Sin…n…well I guess you’re a grown boy and can do this now so sure honey.” Sins mother said sadly. “But please take your phone and call me lots, k.”

“No problem Mom.” Sin said with a sad smile.

So with that Sin went into his house to start packing.

* * * * *
Once in the house Sin ran upstairs to grab his Rattata out of his room. He then ran all over the house grabbing his backpack, filling it with food, water and other vital things.
* * * * *
After packing Sin was out side, ready to start his journey.

“Bye mom, I love you.” Sin said while hugging.

Sin mom was crying. Each teardrop stung Sin’s heart but he new he had to do this.

“Sin I love you so muck honey. Please me careful.” Sin’s teary mother said. “Sin I never want to let you go. I want this hug to last forever, but it can’t. So go before I drag you back into that house.”

“Okay mom.” Sin said while turning around.

Both Sin and his Mother said,” I love you” while Sin walked down the old dirt road backwards, waving to is teary eyed mom.

“I’m going to become the best… just for my mom.” Sin said to himself.

And with that Sin turned around and walked with his Rattata on his belt, down the road.


To Be Continued……

[mr_pikachu]

"Sin I love you so muck honey."

The greatest mis-type EVER!! (Well, not quite, but it sounded good. ^_^; )

Anyway, this was kinda nice. The method with which Sin recieved his Pokemon wasn't entirely original, but it's better than many others. I can't imagine how he'll do well, though, with an untrained Rattata as his starter. That should prove interesting.

The main thing I want to mention is the method of description. Yes, there's a lot of it, and kudos to you for that. However, the way you go about it is rather bland. Instead of stating facts, like "He is 5 feet 7 inches tall," make it more interesting. Here's an example.


"He strolled past the wall, nearly forgetting its significance. The nick at the top brought him back to his senses. With one big step he had placed his back square with the wall, and was ritualistically sliding his hand over the top of his head. Maybe today he'd have grown? ...Nope. He sighed. Would he always be 5'7"? It sure seemed that way sometimes.


You get the idea? Anyway, you're doing a great job. Keep this fic up! I'll be reading! :wave:

[DannyBoy]

So far so good. I like how he has Rattata was good. I haven't seen anyone have that as a starter or really have one in their fic. When he went home and left, for some reason it seemed a bit fast. I don't know if its just me but he decided to go on a journey then he ran home asked his mom and left. Seemed a bit sudden but that might just be me. SO far this seems better than your other fics but I looked and their was one with a guy named Sin. I think it was the Ver League, something like that. But good job, keep it up!

[SWAMPERT1]

sorry or no posts lately. ill gt one up today-fri

[Topaz]

I too agree, its like your in such a hurry to post you don't take your time really building up the desciptions. Slow down, maybe write three or four chapters then you can post at your pleasure.