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HyperBlaziken
7th January 2004, 01:19 PM
Well... this is my first Fanfic.. so ...have fun.. anyway I just like to point out a few things..


Notes: This is a FanFic about Marina from Crystal, and Steven, the leader of the Elite four on Ruby/Sapphie.This is Set a Few years before Ruby/Sapphire, Steven is a bout 16 years old, while Marina is 14/15. Marina grows bored, she becames depressed, she is the Champion of Johto, but she finds there is nothing left to do. Steven is a rookie trainer, who Marina meets later in Chapter two, I will have the second Chapter up in a few days, for now enjoy this one.



A will as strong as steel.


Chapter one: New leafs from old branches.


Marina looked up at the night sky. The stars seemed to shine dully; the moon was clocked in clouds.
The night air felt bitter on her tongue. She felt empty. Months past since she defected lance,
Even though it was a tense battle, it seemed so long ago. Challenger after challenger came,
None of them proved to be a challenge. She was bored, there had to be another goal, another
Step to take. Kanto and Johto had be conqoured.she wanted to excitement of adventure again, the
Feeling of rising up from humble starts, then go after the big shot, she wanted to travel and
Meet new people, she wanted to fill the space.


The next day she woke up, it was about 8.am. Her room seemed lonely; it had a weird silence about it. She got up from her bed
Walked across the wooden floor into the bathroom. She started cleaning her teeth, she looked in the mirror, her
Reflection was dully looking at her. her bright blue eyes, didn’t have that twinkle the way they usually did.” there must be more then this" she said quietly to herself. She grabbed for the brush
And started brushing her long blue hair, witch was let down. "There's another challenge" she told herself "the Prof. would know if there is"
She put the bush down and went to her room to get changed.

"Marina, are you sure you don't want to eat?” her mother asked, with slight concern in her voice. "You...You don't look well", Marina who was heading to the front door, turned round and with a sigh answered: "I am okey..Really, I just need to see Professor Elm about... something." "Don’t you want to eat first" again with a sigh she answered "I will. Later...”

She walked out the house, the morning was bight and sunny, in the distance she could hear Pidgys rustling there feathers, flapping there wings and chirping away in the background. The sky was cloudless; a bright blue replaced them instead.
Marina walked across the grass, she had seen this place so many times, and it was horribly filmier. When she came to the lab, she took a deep breath and walked inside.

"Marina!" shouted Elm! his face lighted up with joy as he walked up to her. Behind him, Marina saw that he had a
Visitor, he looked like another professor, he was sitting on a chair looking at a book, he was fairly short, he had a light brown beard, he didn't seem like the other professors, and he seemed the type that would do more field work. "Birch" he said to
To the professor, "this is Marina, the one I told you about, she's only fourteen and she managed to beat the Pokemon league! Quiet outstanding, don't you agree" Birch who was getting up, smiled at Marina. "ah, so your Marina, I've heard all about you, very impressive, takes some people years before they can even Challenge the league" he paused. "You have a gift and very good one" Marina put on a smile, even tough she wasn't up to it "...um thank you, It...I- was...” there was a long pause.
Elm made an attempted to break the silence "...What's wrong Marina? You don't look very happy" he said, his voice was shaky.
Marina closed her eyes, she looked down to her shoes, "Professor, can I see you... for a minnit...” Elm, with out hesitation, lead the way to a corridor at the back of the lab.

"So what's wrong Marina" Elm asked once they where out of hearing range. Marina took her time, she held back her tears even though they felt so heavy "I.....feel really depressed," She said, her eyes where full of tears, but she kept the shut, "I... have nothing to.... aim for... I've beaten the league... I even got the Kanto badges", at this point she couldn't hold them any longer, her eyes opened up and a waterfall of tear cascaded down her face. "I feel so empty, so goalless" Elm looked at her
With his eyes full of sympathy... "I see" he said "I know how you feel. You fee like you have nothing let to accomplish" Marina
Nodded her head. "Well... I was going tell you this later, but since you told me...." His face suddenly turned into a smile
"Professor Birch is from a land called Houen, it's roughly the same size of Kanto and Johto combined" Marina looked up, her
Face was full of wonder, could this be what she was looking for"... elm carried on "I invited him here, for a few reasons, but the main one was to see if he would take you to houen where you could collect badges and evently,challange the leauge witch they have there". Marina's tears stopped right there, she looked right into elm's eyes. "And if you want to, you can leave all your Pokémon here... and start of fesh" he paused and looked at Marina, but time had a look of shock on her face. "And Birch can give you a new starter; it will be like old times, but in a brand new country to explore". Marina's face slowly turned into a small smile, and then it grew into a huge grin. She started crying again, but this time it was because she was laughing so hard, something she hasn't done for weeks, she hugged Elm, and just kept laughing, while saying "Thank you! Thank you" over again, Elm was overjoyed too, he started laughing swell, they laughed so hard, that the whole lab heard them, and without even asking, they knew it was a good thing, so they all smiled too.


"I'll miss you Marina, It's so lonely here with out you" said Marina's mother tearfuly, it was 5:30, Marina had finish packing everything she needed, she was in the kitchen, talking to her mother. "You just are careful now, okay?" Marina looked at her mother, her eyes filled ambition, but looking at her put a sad expression on her face "I'll miss you too.." she said sadly, "but this is my dream, I want to see Houen, there's bound to be stronger trainers there, I want to..
To... prove I am the best”... her mother took a deep sigh, she sat down at the kitchen table. "How far is Houen" Marina looked down at her shoes, "it's about a 6 hour boat trip". "It’s that far is it? Hope you'll be okay" Marina looked at her mother, She gave a smile "I will, don't worry about me," She paused... “I better get going; Birch said the boat leaves at 6... I've packed what I need. "What about your Pokémon...are you taken them" Marina looked back "oh, I am leaving them with Elm... I wanted to start fresh, his going to look after them"... it was dark outside, Hoot-Hoots could be heard hooting, Spinaraks
Walking across grass with a soft crunching noise where they walked along"... "I better am going now moms... take care of yourself" Marina said in a sad soft tone. It took a while for her to answer but she did, she had a small warm smile on her "and you too, keep in touch".

mistysakura
8th January 2004, 01:14 AM
Not bad... I think that this is pretty original, with an experienced trainer starting all over again. Watch the punctuation, though; sometimes you put them in the wrong places, or skipped them out entirely. The description could also be improved, with details as to what people and things look like etc.

Have fun writing!

EDIT: Fine, mr_pikachu... it's not original. ;) For your information, I haven't watched the anime in years, not since the Orange League or something.

mr_pikachu
8th January 2004, 02:31 AM
This is a good idea, but I can't help but feel that it's a bit cliched (in case you've forgotten, Ash from the anime did pretty much the exact same thing). Nevertheless, it will be interesting to see how Marina adapts to using "weak" Pokemon again.

I like how you'll be including Steven in the fic, as not many writers include him as a main character. I wonder if Steven and Marina will be separate, or whether they will interact with each other. Regardless, I'm looking forward to watching this. One thing you could do better, though, is work on the structure. Specifically, how the lines appear on the actual post. I don't think whatever program you're using is transferring them properly. Try using Microsoft Word and Copy + Pasting or something like that; it always works for me.

Other than that, this looks alright so far. It could use some description, but that will come when there's a setting worthy of it. Until then, I'll keep reading! See ya! :wave: