Swifty the Nidoran male (PG-13 for end)

[Susan_Rocket]

*music starts*

It was Christmas morning, 1989
I remembered it clearly, my nidoranpen was empty
Mom said that I wasn’t allowed to enter the shed
And if I went to play nicely, that I got something nice
She didn’t know either where Swifty was.
She was planning to ask dad, but because he was busy
In the little tool shed, so I had to look an hour for Swifty.
He was maybe walking in the grass

But I knew for sure I close the pen, like I did every night
I returned the last night to the pen last night also
I didn’t know why I did that, I stood there a long while.
Like I knew what I know now

It was the first day of Christmas, 1989
We looked for Swifty everywhere, dad searched along
By the trees, and the water, but not in that tool shed.
Because that’s impossible to be there? And I shook my head
We searched together, together till tea time.
The whole family having tea time, but I didn’t care
I thought about Swifty, and that it could freeze so hard at night
My head low, thick tears of sadness

But I knew for sure I close the pen, like I did every night
I returned the last night to the pen last night also
I didn’t know why I did that, I stood there a long while.
Like I knew what I know now

It was the first day of Christmas, 1989
Everyone was having Christmas dinner, but I didn’t care
I thought about Swifty, my own little Swifty
Where would he walk? I couldn’t eat a bite
Then when the soup the main course should come
Said my dad with hilarity “Look Susan, There’s Swifty!”
I still see the silver dish and there he was in 3 pieces.
For the first time in my life I saw my dad as a horrible man

I went yelling and stomping to bed
Had spent the first hour crying on my blankets
Again standing on top of the stairs, cursing
And yelled: “Swifty was mine!”
I’ve stood a long time before the window
But the pen looked empty and dull

It was the second day of Christmas, 1989
Mom can remember it clearly, dad’s bed was empty
And I said that she wasn’t allowed to enter the shed
And if she went to play nicely that I got her something nice…

*music ends*
*bows*
I still miss that little lagomorph :(

[classy_cat18]

You could've put this in Poetry Corner. But this was great! Fried Dad, anyone?

[Dark Nidoknight]

That poem hit me pretty hard. Nice job, though.

~Dark Nidoknight~

[DannyBoy]

Not to bad. It had emoton and that was a good thing that I liked in it. A bit sad. But if you want to post anymore poetry you and go here, Poetry Corner (http://www.pokemasters.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=408057#post408057). That is were all poetry goes.

[Iveechan]

Wouldn't they be poisoned from eating Swifty, or did he get, um, safe to eat in the cooking process?

[mr_pikachu]

Wow. That was... harsh. :o Her dad cooked her pet? *cries* Rotten little scumbag...

Anyway, that had good emotion. The one thing I didn't like was the rhyme scheme; it seemed to jump all over. But that's probably just me. :D This was a good poem, with a strong and meaningful plot. And I loved how the dad lost bed privileges... ;)

Good work. But yes, this should've gone in the Poetry Corner. ;)

[Susan_Rocket]

This is my first fic to enter here...
I don't speak English that well so that's why it jumped every time.

thanks a lot

Iveechan: That's why her dad was at work in that little tool shed for so long ^^;

[mistysakura]

What? A non-English speaker knows what a lagomorph is, and I don't? I'll have to check in the dictionary.

Thsi was pretty good. It started out innocently, and then you get this total shock horror... and that's nothing compared to the end. The lines didn't really flow well, though, but I couldn't help you with that. If I wrote stuff in Chinese (yeah, and that's supposed to be my first language), it would be so jerky and horrendous.

Yeah, and the Poetry Corner's good (if you can find it! *digs through old topics*)

[mr_pikachu]

lagomorph (n) - Any of various plant-eating mammals having fully furred feet and two pairs of upper incisors and belonging to the order Lagomorpha, which includes the rabbits, hares, and pikas.


And you think you're bad at English?! Heck, I consider myself to have a highly enriched vocabulary, and I didn't have a clue what a lagomorph was, until I read it in this poem! I didn't even know lagomorph was a word! Believe me, if you know words like that, you're plenty good at speaking English. Just stay away from things where you have to rhyme. ;)

Wow. You think you're bad at English...? Really puts me to shame... I'll never show my pathetic Spanish-speaking face in public again! *cries in shame* :rolleyes:

Anyway, though, this was good, except for the rhyming. If you could get it to rhyme, you should send it in to the writers of Pokemon. I'm sure they'd get a kick out of it (or bawl like infants...)! Again, excellent emotion, and did I mention the great vocabulary? :D