Midnight Moonlight
18th April 2004, 04:39 PM
This is something new I've been messing around with. It's not meant to be anything spectacular, but I wanted to post it and see what you all think of it, out of curiousity. And yes, I know, I've been dead for practically forever.
~Waiting~
She didn’t know if it was because she could relate to the songs, if the music comforted her somehow or if it was simply out of habit. All she knew was that she loved it. Curled up, closing her eyes, she just listened, let the music skim over her mind like the wind over the water. She was starting to feel tears well up in her eyes, she didn’t know why. Something was horribly wrong, she wasn’t sure what. It wasn’t exactly pain, but it knocked her out of her peace, the calm she had to try so hard to attain. Suddenly she realized exactly what had happened.
“Damn batteries,” she sighed to herself, taking her headphones off and setting them on her CD player on the desk. She curled back up, tried to go back into the sleep she was awakened from, but it was no use. Without the music, she could only sit there with her eyes closed tightly and try to ignore the pain slowly seeping back into her. Then suddenly, she heard a sound, lifting her head slightly and looking out her window. Whether it had just started or it had been there all along, she didn’t know, but she recognized it at once. “It’s raining,” she whispered to no one. For what seemed like seemed like eternity, but could have easily been mere seconds, she simply stared out at the rain falling. Before she could realize it, she was up out of her chair, putting on her black sweater. No, maybe it was a jacket…she wasn’t quite sure. Whatever it was, she loved the way it went almost down to her knees, and when she put the hood over her head, nobody could see her, and that was how she liked it. She made her way to the door to her backyard, though whenever she did this, it felt like it wasn’t her controlling what she did.
It wasn’t a thunderstorm. Just rain…hard, cold rain pouring on her as she stood in the perfect center of her backyard, wrapping her arms around herself. She wished for a larger space, a whole field to herself to just go out in the rainy nights, but all she had was a backyard. She did not know how long she stood there, figured it must have been a while, as her legs almost gave out under her as she managed to find her way to her swing set. She wasn’t sure why it was still there after all these years, though she knew if it was gone, she would go with it. She started moving herself back and forth a little on the swing, calming her a bit. To someone on the outside, she would have seemed lost in a daze, but calm. In truth, she was going crazy in her mind. If her physical state matched her mental state, she’d be bleeding to death, barely breathing. Nobody understood the pain she went though, and nobody bothered to try and figure it out. Everyone only saw her as the outcast who wouldn’t talk to anyone, who would only talk to herself, letting those around her try to decode the senseless ramblings. Sometimes it seemed she was talking to someone else who wasn’t there, but she wished terribly for them to be. She told him how much she loved him, and begged him to come back. Anyone who listened on to the conversations with this supposed imaginary lover couldn’t help but pity the poor girl, yet they still didn’t want anything to do with her, instead choosing to just watch from afar, wondering what was wrong with her.
Soon enough, the rain had soaked her, leaving her cold and shivering on her swing, fresh rainwater dripping from her hair. It didn’t really matter, she didn’t notice it much. She noticed it only a little before slipping into her own world once more. She could almost feel him wrapping his arms around her from behind, whispering in her ear to come inside from the storm. She nodded slightly, not sure what she could say, getting up from the swing, leaning against him a little, unable to stand on her own out of exhaustion. With his help, she somehow managed to go up the stairs, inside to her house. She let the warmth of the heater near the door hit her, and it felt so nice that she didn’t even want to move. She did move in the end, only when she imagined him nudging her a little in the direction of the stairs. Going up the stairs was more like climbing a mountain for her that night, each of the eleven stairs making her wish more and more that she was dead. She could feel him behind her, gently helping her up every one of them, eventually getting her to the top. She smiled just a little, glad that he was here with her. Then the smile faded, as she realized she was probably just imagining it again.
She opened the door to her room, taking off her cold jacket and just dropping it on the floor next to her bed. She didn’t bother getting into some dry clothes, she just got onto her bed and closed her eyes, glad she was finally back inside. She didn’t know what had made her go outside in the first place…and after a moment of thinking about it, she decided she didn’t want to know. She felt around slowly for the remote control for her air conditioner, to turn it on all the way up as she did every night, hoping that one night she’d finally just freeze to death. When she finally found it, she was about to turn it on, until something stopped her. It was as if his hand was on hers, trying to tell her not to. She tried to fight it, but he kept his hand on hers, and she eventually gave up, withdrawing her hand back to the bed. She sighed in defeat, and pulled a blanket over herself. She lay there for only a few moments before feeling as if he was right next to her, wrapping his arms around her once more, holding her tightly, and she didn’t ever want him to let go.
“No…” she suddenly told herself. “He’s not there…it’s just your imagination…” She closed her eyes tighter, trying to get the feeling to go away, but it wouldn’t. “He’s not there…I know you want him to be there, but he’s not…”
“Who says I’m not here?” a familiar voice whispered into her ear. She opened her eyes and turned quickly, and for the first time in seemingly forever, she saw him smiling at her. He was just as she remembered, the same black hair, the same blue eyes, the same look of hopeless devotion on his face. He held her even tighter as it sank into her that he was finally back. She just stared for a minute, letting tears well up in her eyes, until she just threw her arms around him and started crying. He ran a hand through her still dripping wet hair, chuckling a little. “I bet you were going crazy without me here, weren’t you?”
“You don’t even want to know,” she groaned, and sobbed the rest of the night, not letting go of him, glad he was finally home.
~Waiting~
She didn’t know if it was because she could relate to the songs, if the music comforted her somehow or if it was simply out of habit. All she knew was that she loved it. Curled up, closing her eyes, she just listened, let the music skim over her mind like the wind over the water. She was starting to feel tears well up in her eyes, she didn’t know why. Something was horribly wrong, she wasn’t sure what. It wasn’t exactly pain, but it knocked her out of her peace, the calm she had to try so hard to attain. Suddenly she realized exactly what had happened.
“Damn batteries,” she sighed to herself, taking her headphones off and setting them on her CD player on the desk. She curled back up, tried to go back into the sleep she was awakened from, but it was no use. Without the music, she could only sit there with her eyes closed tightly and try to ignore the pain slowly seeping back into her. Then suddenly, she heard a sound, lifting her head slightly and looking out her window. Whether it had just started or it had been there all along, she didn’t know, but she recognized it at once. “It’s raining,” she whispered to no one. For what seemed like seemed like eternity, but could have easily been mere seconds, she simply stared out at the rain falling. Before she could realize it, she was up out of her chair, putting on her black sweater. No, maybe it was a jacket…she wasn’t quite sure. Whatever it was, she loved the way it went almost down to her knees, and when she put the hood over her head, nobody could see her, and that was how she liked it. She made her way to the door to her backyard, though whenever she did this, it felt like it wasn’t her controlling what she did.
It wasn’t a thunderstorm. Just rain…hard, cold rain pouring on her as she stood in the perfect center of her backyard, wrapping her arms around herself. She wished for a larger space, a whole field to herself to just go out in the rainy nights, but all she had was a backyard. She did not know how long she stood there, figured it must have been a while, as her legs almost gave out under her as she managed to find her way to her swing set. She wasn’t sure why it was still there after all these years, though she knew if it was gone, she would go with it. She started moving herself back and forth a little on the swing, calming her a bit. To someone on the outside, she would have seemed lost in a daze, but calm. In truth, she was going crazy in her mind. If her physical state matched her mental state, she’d be bleeding to death, barely breathing. Nobody understood the pain she went though, and nobody bothered to try and figure it out. Everyone only saw her as the outcast who wouldn’t talk to anyone, who would only talk to herself, letting those around her try to decode the senseless ramblings. Sometimes it seemed she was talking to someone else who wasn’t there, but she wished terribly for them to be. She told him how much she loved him, and begged him to come back. Anyone who listened on to the conversations with this supposed imaginary lover couldn’t help but pity the poor girl, yet they still didn’t want anything to do with her, instead choosing to just watch from afar, wondering what was wrong with her.
Soon enough, the rain had soaked her, leaving her cold and shivering on her swing, fresh rainwater dripping from her hair. It didn’t really matter, she didn’t notice it much. She noticed it only a little before slipping into her own world once more. She could almost feel him wrapping his arms around her from behind, whispering in her ear to come inside from the storm. She nodded slightly, not sure what she could say, getting up from the swing, leaning against him a little, unable to stand on her own out of exhaustion. With his help, she somehow managed to go up the stairs, inside to her house. She let the warmth of the heater near the door hit her, and it felt so nice that she didn’t even want to move. She did move in the end, only when she imagined him nudging her a little in the direction of the stairs. Going up the stairs was more like climbing a mountain for her that night, each of the eleven stairs making her wish more and more that she was dead. She could feel him behind her, gently helping her up every one of them, eventually getting her to the top. She smiled just a little, glad that he was here with her. Then the smile faded, as she realized she was probably just imagining it again.
She opened the door to her room, taking off her cold jacket and just dropping it on the floor next to her bed. She didn’t bother getting into some dry clothes, she just got onto her bed and closed her eyes, glad she was finally back inside. She didn’t know what had made her go outside in the first place…and after a moment of thinking about it, she decided she didn’t want to know. She felt around slowly for the remote control for her air conditioner, to turn it on all the way up as she did every night, hoping that one night she’d finally just freeze to death. When she finally found it, she was about to turn it on, until something stopped her. It was as if his hand was on hers, trying to tell her not to. She tried to fight it, but he kept his hand on hers, and she eventually gave up, withdrawing her hand back to the bed. She sighed in defeat, and pulled a blanket over herself. She lay there for only a few moments before feeling as if he was right next to her, wrapping his arms around her once more, holding her tightly, and she didn’t ever want him to let go.
“No…” she suddenly told herself. “He’s not there…it’s just your imagination…” She closed her eyes tighter, trying to get the feeling to go away, but it wouldn’t. “He’s not there…I know you want him to be there, but he’s not…”
“Who says I’m not here?” a familiar voice whispered into her ear. She opened her eyes and turned quickly, and for the first time in seemingly forever, she saw him smiling at her. He was just as she remembered, the same black hair, the same blue eyes, the same look of hopeless devotion on his face. He held her even tighter as it sank into her that he was finally back. She just stared for a minute, letting tears well up in her eyes, until she just threw her arms around him and started crying. He ran a hand through her still dripping wet hair, chuckling a little. “I bet you were going crazy without me here, weren’t you?”
“You don’t even want to know,” she groaned, and sobbed the rest of the night, not letting go of him, glad he was finally home.