Road To Flapjack City (my newest and possibly greatest fic of all time!)

[Reborned-Dragon]

Finally, Reborned-Dragon has come back, to the Fan Fiction boards! I don't want to waste anymore of your lives, so here's Chapter 1 of RtFC, if ya smeeeeeeellllllllll what Reborned is cookin'!


ROAD TO FLAPJACK CITY

Chapter 1
Boring Life, Weird Friends, What Do You Expect?

"So the square root of a bottle of Coca-Cola is 7 by 12, any questions?"
says Professor Jackson (not Micheal Jackson or that fat ass off of American Idol). "Yeah, I have a question!" exclaimed one of my few friends Andre 2397 (actually his name is Benjamin Porter, but we don't want to destroy the guy's personality). "Yes Mr. Porter?" says Proffesor Jackson. "You wanna get high, 'cause I got a big 'ole bag of crack." The whole class exploded with laughter except my know-it-all ex-girlfriend, Caroline. "Benjamin, that was so rude! You should be ashamed of yourself." she piped in. "Hey he's not the one who got four boob jobs in one month." I pointed out. The whole class once again was filled with laughter and hoots, even Jacko chuckled a bit. "Have mercy!!! Good one Froggy!" howled 1/3 of my friends Pablo, but we called him Big Fat Paulie since he acted Italian despite the fact he was Spanish and he was bigger than Rosie O'Donnel and the Olsen twins put together. "Porter, Kidman, Diaz! Detention after school!" fumed Proffesor Jackson, who was obviously POed at us for the cracks at him and Ms. Four-Boob-Jobs-In-A-Month, which is the reason I dumped her.

I sat near the door in detention after school while Andre sat up front and BFP sat way in the back. "Life sucks, dude." I whispered to Andre, who was sleeping with his eyes open. You could tell since there was always a puddle of drool dripping from his lower lip and he was snoring loudly. "Uh huh." he muttered. Andre was listening at all so I consulted to Pablo, who was holding his saggy man boobs saying, "I am not fat, I am not fat, I'm skinny, I'm skinny." He muttered that the whole hour and when we were released Caroline must have been waiting, since she gave us the finger. I countered, "Right back at ya quadra-nipple!"
If you were wondering, my name is Bam Kidman, but everyone calls me Froggy for some reason. Probably since I jumped off my roof and landed in the neighbor's backyard last summer when I was 14, scaring the hell out of their pitbul and resulting in me getting a broken arm and a bite on the captain's corners from Precious (the pitbul).

Well, I just turned 15, I have a nice body (that's what alot of people think) that girls used to drool over until I became friends with Andre & Big Fat Paulie, which resulted in me losing my legions of girl admirers, friends and ultimately, my popularity. My spiked-up black hair became loose as I rode my bike home, expecting the same crap for my birthday, clothes, video games and money. I enjoy this stuff but I want a change in life. I wanna go on an adventure with Andre & Pablo, I wanna meet new people and see new things, but ultimately, I want to become a Poke`mon trainer. I would have back when I was ten but Mom was pregnant with my kid brother Brain, so I stayed home for 5 years to help Mom raise him since Dad passed away when I was three. I parked my bike, practically crashing it into the family pick-up truck and unlocked the door to the biggest surprise I have gotten since Brian was born.

I saw Mom, Brain, Andre, BFP and Jimmy (my third friend who's been away for a few months). "What the hell? How did you guys get here before me?" I asked. "We dug a tunnel from the school to your house last week and just finished it yesterday." BFP explained with a grin. "I got you what you've wanted since you were 10 son, your Poke`mon License." Mom told me with teary eyes. I was dumbstruck and so happy I could cry. Andre, BFP & Jimmy showed me their licenses and a belt that held five pokeballs. They all threw one down to reveal Poke`mon. In front of Andre was an Larvitar, a small Poke`mon that looked small, but in it's final form was one of the largest Poke`mon know to man. In front of Paulie was a Pidgey, a small bird that would evolve into Pidgeotto, who would ultimately become Pidgeot. In front of Jimmy was a Geodude, a small rock with large arms, who would become Graveller, who would ultimately become Golem! Mom handed me my Poke`dex, 5 Poke`balls and one single Ball that had this engraved in it:

To: Bam
From: Mom & Brian

I had tears in my eyes as I hugged Mom and Brain. "Open it Froggy! Open it!" Brain rushed me. "Hold on Shorty, I have to treasure this moment, like a Canadian treasuring a pancake, just waiting to slather it with syrup and ice cream." I told him as I threw down the ball to reveal...

2 BE CONTINUED...

Cliffhanger folks but don't worry. Sometime this week, you lucky people will find out what Froggy's first Poke`mon is. Feel free to take a guess but you won't know completely until Chapter 2: To The Flapjack League: Two White Guys, A Mentally Ill Black Guy and a Fat Italian Wannabe Spanish Guy.

Thanks to Oz_Andrew for the idea of pancakes with syrup and ice cream.

Good night and drive safely.

[Tainted]

A load of errors. At the end you said a "fat italian wannabe spanish guy" yet during the chapter you said he was a fat spanish wannabe italian guy. Make up your mind. Same goes for the kids name, I'll assume it's Brian, but you keep calling him Brain. Just a slip up of the two letters, I know, but still.

As for his pokemon or whatever the hell, I'm going with a pancake addicted Pikachu. Either that, or a Scyther... because... it has scythes... and is green... ...

Adieu,
Zak Hunter

[HedgeCat]

Uh, it's short. And hard to read. when someone talks, PLEASE make a new line. It's not that hard.

[PancaKe]

It's pretty good. For some reason, weird fics like this somehow appeal to me. It's just out there, not trying to be anything and its cool. I would agree though, make the writing paragraphed and start new lines when people talked. Also dont confuse everybody with names - but I like it and I wanna see number 2.

:) Love the pancakes dude!!! I sculled half a bottle of pancake mix so *Shrugs*

**PancaKe||

[Reborned-Dragon]

Thanks for the feedback, not exactly what I wanted but it could help me make RtFC even better. *hands out pancakes*

So to thank ya'll, here's Chapter 2, with a shortened title.

Chapter 2:
The Guy With A Waffle-Addicted Poke`mon (who REALLY enjoyed being around Brian)

FROGGY'S POV
----------------
An intense smell filled my nostrils that smelled like a combo of garbage, caviar and viagra. It was a Grimer who started yelling, "WAFFLES! WAFFLES!" Everyone was shocked at this, especially Brian, who edged closer to the horrid Poke`mon. "You can talk?" Brian questioned it. My curious brother stuck his head closer only to get violated more than a Micheal Jackson victim. The Grimer clasped it lips onto Brian's face like a plunger and began to suck on it. "Dude, your Grimer's gayer than Luke Perry!" Andre exclaimed as he tried to pull Brian's face out of Grimer's mouth. Jimmy, Pablo, Mom and I joined in but Grimer was shockingly strong. Geodude then got involved and delivered a monstorous right hook to Grimer, who on impact, released my little brother, who was seemingly paralyzed with shock and fear. Grimer was still down from the hard shot. "Dude, you're Geodude cheap shotted my Grimer!" I exclaimed angrily as I pushed him. "He saved your brother man so get a grip!" Jimmy shot back, giving me a shove. "Why don't you guys settle this outside, Froggy & Grimer vs Jimmy & Geodude." Pablo suggested. Jimmy and I nodded as we headed outside.

JIMMY'S POV
-------------------
Froggy and I prepared our Poke`mon. This was their first official battle and you could tell that all four of us where nervous. I got a punching bag out of Froggy's garage and let Geodude take a few whacks at it while Froggy restrained Grimer from Brian by luring him away with a waffle stick dipped in syrup. Grimer eventually got it and ate it in a matter of milli-seconds. Andre stepped up and proclaimed, "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, reigning from his house with his little-boy-violating Grimer, Bam "Froggy" Kidman!" Pablo and Mom clapped a little while Brian was in bed recovering. "And in the other corner, reigning from somewhere with his Geodude, Jimmy!" There were a few claps for me as Andre told us and our Poke`mon the rules. He called for the battle to start as Geodude and Grimer locked up for the first time, both wanting to get some revenge.

FROGGY'S POV
-------------------
"Grimer, use Pound!" I commanded as Grimer dashed foward. He was shockingly fast for a Poke`mon made out of slime. "Geodude, counter with your own Pound!" Jimmy called out as Geodude dashed foward. The two Poke`mon threw rights and lefts at each other until Geodude got the upperhand and slammed Grimer, who got up rather quickly. Grimer in return slammed Geodude, who also got up. "They're pretty evenly matched." Pablo pointed out. The italian wannabe was right for once, Grimer and Geodude were evenly matched. "Grimer, take him down and attack his arms!" I commanded, knowing I would have to keep Geodude from using his arms or hands. Grimer obeyed as he pushed Geodude down and started pounding on his arms. The rock Poke`mon smirked as he delivered a fatal right hand to Grimer's midsection, sending Grimer sprawling.

"Come on buddy! Win this match and there's a box of Eggo waffles with your name on `em!" I called, trying to give Grimer a new goal, and it worked as Grimer sprung to his feet and dashed at Geodude again, this time nailing him with a body splash. Geodude was under the purple body of Grimer, who was trying to suffocate him. Jimmy's resilant Poke`mon didn't give in there as he tossed Grimer into the bushes. "My bushes!" Mom cried as she fished Grimer out of the bushes and began to water them with the nearby hose. Grimer was getting beaten down but refused to die, especially with Eggo waffles on the line! "Grimer, use Disable!" I commanded, remembering he had that ability. The poisonous Poke`mon then looked at Geodude's arms and gave him a eerie glare. Within seconds, Geodude's arms were stuck in their current position. "Geodude, use your body!" Jimmy called, with some desperation in his voice. "Get out of the way!" I called but it was too late as Grimer was sent flying by a football style tackle. Grimer, who was quickly losing energy landed near the river, which would have spelt defeat for us if he went in.

"Geodude, tackle him into the river!" Jimmy called, who was now extremely cocky and confident. Geodude backed up a little and then with amazing speed, zoomed at Grimer, who at the last second, fell into a pile of purple goop. Geodude sailed over him and crashed into the river, struggling to stay up. Jimmy quickly recalled him as Andre said, "The winners, Froggy and Grimer!" I helped Grimer up as I raised his hand. Our first win together but Grimer didn't care, he justed wanted to eat waffles and sleep for a month after than intense battle. "Buddy, for now on, I'm calling you Slime-Man." I told Grimer, who just said, "WAFFLES!" I shook Jimmy's hand as we headed inside.

Jimmy, Brian, Andre, BFP, Mom and I had burgers for lunch while Slime-Man had 12 Eggo waffles and the other Poke`mon had these nasty smelling kibble like things. Due to his awesome win, I let Slime-Man have my seat while I was on the floor with Larvitar, Pidgey (who constantly pecked at my head), and Geodude (who was wrapped in a blanket). "Well guys, I guess tommorow we'll go on our Poke`mon journey, but the question is, where do we go?" Big Fat Paulie asked us after he polished off his fourth burger. "We'll slash off Indigo, Orange and Johto because that b*tch Ash Jackass went to all of those places." Andre quickly pointed out. Andre really hated Ash Ketchum, who last year during a worldwide interview insulted black people, which really pissed Andre (who is black) off. "How about the Flapjack League?" Mom piped in, wanting to help. "There are great pancake, waffles and sausage resturants for trainers who make it and there are lots of exotic Poke`mon along the way." she included. Slime-Man, who just tuned in, slithered up the stairs and brought down a large backpack, which included clothes, a battery-operated microwave, about five boxes of Eggo waffles (24 packs), a toothbrush, a variety of pots and pans, different food (that wasn't waffles) and a cellphone so I could call home. "Well since I packed, we're going to the Flapjack League boys!" I proclaimed as I gave the last bit of my burger to Pidgey, who finally stopped pecking me.

ANDRE'S POV
The next day, Jimmy, Froggy, Pablo and I were packed and ready to see the world (the part with flapjacks anyway). I had Larvitar safe in his Poke`ball and I also had clothes, food, a CD player, the latest Outkast CD and a stack of Playboy magazines for personal enjoyment. "I guess we're all set to leave." Pablo said with a serious tone. I couldn't help but look at his idiotic T-shirt that said, "If You Think I'm Gay, Ask Your Mom What I Did To Her Last Night".
Jimmy's shirt was just as stupid. It read, "I Don't Want That POONTANG PIE!!!"
Froggy's shirt had to be the stupidest of all. It read, "I Had Your Mom, Your Sister and The Olsen Twins All At Once plus some McNuggets." I stopped reading shirts long enough to realize the gang had already headed into the tall grass. "WAIT UP HOMIES!" I yelled as I tried desprately to keep up. I guess I'll have to keep an open mind when travelling with these weirdos.

2B CONTINUED...

For those of your who still don't know the current cast, here they are for you
slow readers (no offense)

Froggy, Real Name Is Bam Kidman, Has a Grimer and is the main character who turns from Mr. Cool to Mr. Not Cool

Big Fat Paulie, Real Name Is Pablo Diaz, Has a Pidgey and acts Italian when he's really Spanish

Andre 2397, Real Name Is Andre Benjamin, Has a Larvitar and is a possible crack addict but no one knows yet

Jimmy, Real Name Is Jimmy Smith, Has a Geodude and tends to leave alot

Mom, Real Name is Tanya Kidman, The Mother of Froggy and Brian

Brian, Real Name is Brian Kidman, The Brother of Froggy

Caroline, Real Name is Caroline Hall, The Ex-Girlfriend of Froggy who had four boob jobs in one month in an attempt to not only turn him on but make him dump his weirdo friends. She also has boobs the size of half of a watermelon and is a plain out witch

Proffesor Jackson, Real Name is Kevin Jackson, Froggy, Andre 2397, Big Fat Paulie and Caroline's teacher. He isn't Micheal Jackson or the black guy from American Idol

Slime-Man, A Grimer who is apparently addicted to waffles and Brian

Pidgey, A Pidgey who enjoys to peck people

Geodude, A Geodude with a mean right hook

Larvitar, A Larvitar who will probably get high thanks to Andre

Chapter 3: Where The (insert F-Bomb here) Is Bacon Town? will be up next week so keep your pants on boys and girls.