The "Normal" Pokemon Journey of Mewtwo

[Legends-Kuja]

I'm gonna try my hand at this. Until I get a few episodes under my belt, this will be the only place you see this fic. The prlogue and chapter 1 will be seperate. I hope you like it.

Prologue: The Legend of Mewtwo

(A/N: Guess what! HUUUGGEE Disclaimer, all on the first chapters onward! I don’t on Mewtwo, Sonic, Pokémon, or any freaky Japanese name you see here, which will be edited once Ruby/Sapphire comes out! I only own the plot, my lack of sanity, and any chap not owned by anyone. Okay. CARRY ON! Oh, and slight OOC and AU. I warned you.)

There was once a being… a being so powerful it could rearrange THE COSMOS. Although God could do this easily, we’re sadly not talking about Him. We’re talking about Mewtwo.
Mewtwo was created in a science lab, funded by Team Rocket. A man in hopes of bringing back his daughter lead the research, creating him as well as several other clones. However, only he survived, and his memory of this sad girl was erased. Eventually he woke up… destroying the scientist that created him and starring in one of the worst movies ever made. Sucks, considering that the only person you can’t kill is God Himself.
Mewtwo cowered away to another island with Mew and the clones. Team Rocket tried to capture him, but thanks to Ashy Boy, they failed spectacularly.
Unfortunately, peace would cease for earth, as a powerful being known as Majin Buu awakened and basically destroyed the entire planet for no reason. Mewtwo evacuated what humans he could to Little Planet, a neighboring planet made safe for living thanks to the efforts of a mysterious blue hedgehog. Life resumed, and Mewtwo and Goku blew Majin Buu to smithereens.
While earth is being repaired, we join Mewtwo meditating. He is pondering exactly why DID humans catch and battle Pocket Monsters? And why did they seem to enjoy it? He decided that the only way to find out… is to become a Pokémon master himself. After all, the worst movie in the world DID have its good points…
Unbeknownst to him, a young brat—err I mean girl has finally accepted her mother’s legacy. This girl plans to rid Little Planet of all mankind—the emphasis on MAN. But why would Mewtwo care? As this strange and wonderful tale begins, you will see why he cares. (Hint: Shigeru Minamoto has NOTHING to do with it! HONESTLY! Although there was that money thing…)

Theme: Open Your Heart (Sonic Adventure)

Song Re written as: Open your Brain, Idiot Humans.

Several flashy scenes of Mewtwo and other Pokemon. Sonic makes poses. Lyrics begin.

"Thunder, Pichu's Lightning..." (Pichu summons a Thunder attack)
"Discrimination rising..." (Mysterious females leering with equally evil Pokemon)
"Clamor, bad plots rising, it's looking BAAADDD for guys..." (Witness hilarious yet shocking destruction of male trainers)
"Humans are dumb creatures," (Mewtwo is gloating over the defeat of a trainer.)
"Their plots are incredibly lame now," (James and Kuja pose)
"They don't even trust each other," (Mary, a girl with brown hair is stretching Sonic's face and vice versa.)
"WHY NOT EMBRACE THEIR OWN DEATH?!" (Mewtwo is dreaming that he's blowing up the human race and laughing maniacally)
"All the humans hate, all their backstabbing, all their misguided ways... I see the chaos in everyone, but WHO am I, what does life mean to me?" (Mewtwo is darting around at fast speed, thinking in angst.)
"You and I are the same in that we have our own styles and we won't change," (Mewtwo and Sonic have guitars, and a Hitmonchan is at the drums) "But you like humans and I don't, but there's no way that we can lose!"

(Sonic and Mewtwo switch lines. Chorus)
(Mewtwo)"They can't live onnn much longer,"
(Sonic)"But that' why we NEEED to SAVE THEM!"
(M)"We know it's a OONNE WAAAYY TRACK!"
(S)"Now tell us now how LOOONG this'll LAST!"
(M)"I've lost allll my hearrrt..."
(S)"But you haven't LOST determination!"
(M)"My goal is to beat every human now..."
(S)"But get rid of those feminists first!"

(Both)"OPEN YOUR HEART, YOU FRICKIN IDIOT HUMANS..."

(Sonic) "Nations, cities wait for us,"
(Shows Stardust Speedway form Sonic CD)
"But feminists keep attacking..."
(Several girls cream Mewtwo and Sonic with Pokeballs, and Deokishku smashes Mewtwo with HER tentacles)
"Little brats are crying!" (Whitney is crying and throwing a tantrum)
"Confusion, lame-*** specials!" (Shows Mewtwo imitating James Bond)
"I don't know why we keep of fightin' but they DRIVE ME CRAAAZYY! All their cunning tricks make me sick, they won't have it their own WAAAYYY!" (Sonic is fighting off girls with Pokemon, and Mewtwo is giving Sabrina a noogie)

(Chorus)

(Music. Sonic, Mewtwo and Mary make several poses. Lyrics resume)

(Sonic)"If they're not stopped, there will be no future..." (Sonic and Mewtwo are racing)
(Mewtwo)"But they're all tied down by all the hate, gotta SEETT 'em FRREEEE!" (Mary is tied up by some random character, Mewtwo removes a gag and Sonic unties her.)

(M)"We know it's a OONNE WAAAYY TRACK!"
(S)"Now tell us now how LOOONG this'll LAST!"
(M)"My goal is to beat every human now..."
(S)"But get rid of those feminists first!"

(Both) "GOTTA OPEN YOUR BRAINS, DUDES!"

(Chorus)

(Ends. Normal Pokemon Journey of Mewtwo zooms across the screen, and Mewtwo, Sonic, and Mary pose, with the villains in the background)

[Legends-Kuja]

Episode 1: A New Hope

A LOOOOONNGGG time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
“Umm… last time I checked THIS ISN’T STAR WARS!” Mewtwo roared.
Oops. Sorry. WELL ANYWAY, not too long ago, in a galaxy very close to here, stood Mewtwo. He checked a watch and waited. Only 26 more hours to go…
“DAMMIT, why do I have to wait that long?!” Mewtwo complained.
Be patient, young grasshopper.
“Grr… in the words of God: GET ON WITH IT.”
Sheesh. Well, thanks to the miracle of writing, Mewtwo instantly appeared in Professor Oak’s new lab, 26 hours later. Exactly why this happened is still a mystery.
Professor Oak studied a pokéball that he received earlier. When he picked it up and turned it around to take it to some unknown, unimportant room, he bumped right into Mewtwo. Professor Oak took one look at Mewtwo and let out a simple “EEK!” and cowered behind a table.
“I mean you no harm, weakling human,” Mewtwo muttered.
“Oh, HI Mewtwo! PLEASE don’t pop out of nowhere like that!” Professor Oak cried.
“Not my fault, the author did it,” Mewtwo smirked. “Anyway, is my Pokémon ready yet? I wanna start on my quest just like Ashy Boy!”
“Yes… why here!” Professor Oak handed the Pokéball he was studying to Mewtwo. Mewtwo threw it down. Out emerged—
An Umbreon.
The Moonlight Pokémon looked at Mewtwo and noticed his tail. Umbreon Crunched Mewtwo’s tail without hesitation.
“OWWWW!” Mewtwo shot out, clutching his tail. Umbreon smiled, satisfied. When he landed, he snarled at the Umbreon. “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”
(Sorry, dude, I was hungry!) Umbreon leered back.
“This Pokémon hates me…” Mewtwo complained to Professor Oak.
“Well, you must work with you Pokémon and develop its friendship!” Professor Oak laughed. “Pikachu hated Ash when HE first went out, and look where they are now!”
“Well, if you don’t count that Spearow episode, that wasn’t too bad, “Mewtwo commented. “BUT STILL,” He noticed another Pokéball. Using Psychic powers, he peered at it. “Who owns this… Abusoru?”
“That Abusoru’s MINE, Mewtwo!” A voice rang out. Mewtwo whirled around to see some sort of odd green-and-brown creature, resembling a much sleeker version of him. It lacked feet and a left arm, only having mere points and two tentacles. But it didn’t need them, psy powers echoed in great force from it. “I am Deokishku, Dioxy for short. *I* am the strongest Pokémon in the universe, and I shall prove it by defeating you in every way.”
Mewtwo stared at Deokishku for a while. Something was bothering him. What the HELL was that blue thing on its chest? It seemed to be the source of its power…
“PERVERT!” Dioxy slapped him. “YOU DARE ogle at my BRAIN?!”
“What?” Mewtwo blinked in surprise. “Oh… so that’s your BRAIN? And you’re a girl?”
“Damn straight!” She boasted. “Now how about I thrash your Umbreon?”
“If you mean sending your Abusoru to the hospital free of charge, my Umbreon would be glad to accept your challenge,” Mewtwo smirked.
Abusoru’s Pokéball landed on the ground, and the odd pokémon emerged. The blue and white creature had a strange crest on its forehead, and its body had a similar build to Umbreon’s. Naturally, this made them good rivals.
(Hmph… Male…) Abusoru regarded Umbreon with little respect.
(What, you don’t LIKE me?) Umbreon smirked. (Feminist or something? Have it your way, discriminators suck ***!)
“Umbreon! Crunch!” Mewtwo shouted. Umbreon whirled around and Crunched Mewtwo instead. “YYAAAAAAGGGHH! Crunch ABUSORU! NOT ME!”
(Damn…) Umbreon muttered, but Abusoru wasted no time using a Tackle on him, sending him backwards. (Ow! Feisty *****, aren’t we?)
(Depends your definition of *****,) Abusoru snarled.
“Abusoru likes me MUCH better than your Umbreon likes you! Waste NO time! Dark Blade!” Dioxy cackled as Abusoru leapt and used her blade, whirring and sending a dark energy blast. Umbreon dodged and Crunched again. This time he hit his mark and Abusoru took damage and flinched.
Mewtwo still clutched his tail in pain. “Double Kick Abusoru!”
(Since when the heck did I learn Double Kick?) Umbreon wondered as he used the move. Abusoru hated the move, and took severe damage. (Since now, I guess.)
(You ain’t the ONLY one with that trick, sunny!) Abusoru returned her own double kick, but Umbreon held fast—he had better defense. Umbreon smashed into her with another Double kick, and she fell. (Ugh… Can’t fail to a… male!)
“WHAT?!” Dioxy snarled. “You got lucky…” she recalled her Pokémon. “But rest assured, we WILL meet again!” she stomped off, muttering something about the merits of girl power and how males are so sexist.
“Wow…” Professor Oak blinked. “So. You have already proved yourself. As a bonus, I’ll give you this other Pokémon I found. He’s a baby of a legendary!”
“What is it?” Mewtwo asked.
“Its name is Groudon.” Professor Oak released it to show it off to Mewtwo. The red thing was big, ugly, and damned powerful. “Its big, ugly, and damned powerful.”
“So the bigger and uglier it is, the better stats it has?” Mewtwo asked. Groudon looked pretty irked at being called big and ugly, but at least it knew it was damned powerful.
“Of course. Cool Pokémon like your Umbreon are also powerful.”
“So… I should look of big, ugly pokémon or cool looking ones like me to attain power?”
“The essence of it!”
“… that’s so shallow. But I like it.”
“Here’s your Pokégear and Pokédex scan visor,” Professor Oak gave the equipment to Mewtwo. Using Psychic powers, he simply downloaded it to his brain. He felt more like Alakazam by the minute. He looked at Groudon.
“Come on, big and ugly!” Mewtwo motioned for his two Pokémon to follow him. Unfortunately, they had a better idea. They both bit his tail.
“HAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAH!” Mewtwo whiled like Mario as if his butt were on fire, and ran like the dickens out of the lab. Professor Oak shook his head, wondering if the world was doomed.
****

Mewtwo zoomed across the Palma Islands landscape. Normally he wouldn’t do this, but a nasty Umbreon and a 500-pound monster both had a death grip on his tail with their teeth, and unfortunately the sensations hurts much worse than level one Dragonite getting the wrong end of a blizzard attack cast by a level 100 Articuno. Mewtwo zoomed by some scenery, a couple of Pidgey, a Sneasel robbing those Pidgey, a blue hedgehog, the Holy Grail—
A BLUE HEDGEHOG! Mewtwo stopped. This sudden turn of events caused his two Pokémon to go sailing off across the planet, and arrive back at the same place, all while crushing that same Sneasel that was robbing the Pidgey. The Pidgey thanked Groudon with a large sum of money and quickly left. Groudon and Umbreon recuperated and gathered behind Mewtwo. Mewtwo pointed out the blue creature. “You see that… it’s a rare Pokémon. Obviously, he’s the same hero who saved this planet for the humans. He’s cool looking. He’d made a nice addition to the team, wouldn’t you think?”
(Course so!) Umbreon cheered. (He’s Sonic, and he’s as good as yours. Just watch…)
Sonic was of course, reading a good book and chilling out. The blue hedgehog saved enough humans to earn him and twelve generations enough Nobel Peace prizes for millennia. However, all he wanted was a nice, relaxing break.
An Umbreon started growling at him. “Hey!” Sonic said. “You chill out!”
Umbreon wasted no time in Crunching Sonic.
“OOWWW! YOU BASTARD! HITMONCHAN!” Sonic screamed.
“What, mate?” Hitmonchan came out. “Oy, dark Pokémon botherin you again, mate? Let’s fry ‘em!” Hitmonchan leapt up and struck Umbreon with a Mach Punch.
Umbreon flinched and backed away. Sonic dealt a serious blow. However Mewtwo came back and he was ready to fight. “Umbreon! Don’t give up! SCREAMING ANGRY WOMBAT!”
From out of nowhere, Umbreon produced a screaming, angry wombat and threw it at Hitmonchan. The screaming, angry wombat razzed Hitmonchan a new one.
Mewtwo, completely oblivious to the fact that Umbreon only hit Sonic once with a completely ineffective attack produced a hat and a Pokéball and proceeded to imitate Ash in all of his glory. “POKEBALL, GO!” He heaved one and it smashed Sonic, surprisingly capturing him. Two, then three shakes and Sonic was captured!
“YES!” Mewtwo cheered. Umbreon blinked. Despite not doing jack to Sonic, he was successful. “Now…” He slammed the Pokéball containing Sonic and opened it. Sonic appeared, apparently pissed that he was now someone’s slave. “YOU ARE MY SLAVE FOR ETERNITY! YOU SHALL DO EVERY TASK I COMMAND OF YOU!”
“Why me…” Sonic sighed. “Mewtwo, are you STUPID? I AM NOT A POKEMON!”
“If you weren’t a Pokemon, you wouldn’t have been captured, now would you?”
Sonic was at a loss of words.
“BBUUUUUUUUUTTT… Since you don’t like being captured, I’ll just destroy your ball… but for a price.”
“What kind of price?!” Sonic grit his teeth.
“YOU SHALL JOIN ME ON MY QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL! No wait… that didn’t sound right. YOU SHALL JOIN MY QUEST FOR POKEMON MASTERY AS AN ANNOYING SIDEKICK!”
“Okay… but why?”
“BECAUSE GOD SAID SO!”
“Good enough.” Sonic shook hands with Mewtwo and the psychic cat destroyed the Pokéball. “Hitmonchan!”
“ARGH! GET THIS BLOODY WOMBAT OFF OF ME!” Hitmonchan complained. A screaming, angry wombat still kept razing Hitmonchan. Sonic punted the screaming, angry wombat into oblivion for later use. “Thanks, mate. Hey, first town in Palma City ain’t far away! Race ya!” The Pokemon dashed off in a flash of un-Hitmonchan-like speed.
“CHEATER!” Sonic made pursuit.
“Curses…” Mewtwo muttered. “Umbreon… the ONE time I ask you to Crunch my tail—”
(GLAD TO!) Umbreon crunched Mewtwo’s tail with amazing force.
“YYYAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!” Mewtwo rocketed in pain to catch up with Sonic and Hitmonchan.

*This Episode is over. Go back to watching the lame Pokemon anime!*