The MisAdventures of Hiro!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, this is the last time I'm reposting this, so you should all be happy now. Herre ya go! [and don't bother me about the short chapters, I know!]
[or the spelling]


CHAPTER 1
Hiro woke up late one spring morning, only to realize that his mom had gone insane and made him a cinnibar volcano burger with baking 'basco sauce (the hottest stuff on earth) for dinner last night, and his tounge was disintigrating in his mouth! he ran downstairs for some water when his insane mother stopped him and said
Mom:*insane laugh* I "found" a bunch of stuff while I was, uh, shopping in the kwik-e mart. hehehe!
Hiro:Isn't the kwik-e mart closed for 3 days.
Mom: Don't talk back to your elders! The point is, the cops want this, so I want you to have it! kekekekeke!
She hands him a PokéGear
Hiro: Wait a minute, if I have it, the cops'll think I stole it!
Mom: Like I want to get arrested. Now get moving!
Hiro went to the fire station and proceeded to stick a fire hose in his mouth. After that he went to Prof. Tree for help.
P. Tree: Your mom wants you to do something? Here, take a Pokémon. It is dangerous out there. Wait, on second thought *he reaches to take the Pokéball, remembering the time Hiro put shaving cream in his ben gay.*
Hiro: Hey this is mine!
He went home, grabbed his talking pikachu pokédex, and ran out of town.
And so the adventure begins...
CHAPTER 2
As Hiro set off down route 29, he saw a guy with green hair and a nose plug. The guy said
Guy: Hi! I'll show you how to catch Pokémon for 100 yen.
Hiro: But-
Guy: That's good! Now, I'll just have a look in your wallet and see if you've got the money!
They Guy reaches into Hiro's pocket and takes out his wallet.
Guy: *mumbling* Let's see, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50. There! Perfect!
Hiro: Hey! I thought you said-
Guy: OK, The way you catch a Pokémon is to throw a Pokéball and hope it hits the Pokémon. OK bye!
Hiro: But I haven't got any Pokéballs yet!
Guy: OK, Well, go buy some in Cherrygrove and I'll show you again!
Hiro:-_-' ...
Hiro continues down the road when he sees a funky-lookin' flower. He asks a guy
Hiro: What's that flower thingamabobber?
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: But what is-
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: I DIDN'T ASK WHAT IS IN THEM, I ASKED WHAT THEY A-
Other Guy: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro looks at a sign and sees
Sign: This guy is a robotic tourguide!
Hiro: Oh brother...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, its been 2 months since i posted this... ill post the next three chapters.

CHAPTER 3
Hiro walked exhaustedly through the tall grass. The Pokémon that Prof. Tree had given Him was a Lv. 2 Pichu, and it had fainted in the first battle. He had fought in 32 Pokémon battles and had lost them all. He had pretended to faint so he could get away. He was all beat up! He finally got to Cherrygrove when a old guy stopped him.
Old Guy: Hi. I live here. For 200 yen I'll show ou around.
Hiro: Hmmmm...
Old guy: Good! Now hand me your wallet and We'll be on our way.
He stands in the middle of the small town.
Old guy: That is a Pokécenter, that is a pokémart, that's the ocean, That's route 30, and Those are some houses. 'kay, bye.
Hiro: Hey! Wait a sec.
Hiro takes a pokémap card from the old guy's pocket.
Old guy: Hey! What was that for?
Hiro: You stole my wallet!
Then Hiro runs to the Pokémart to buy some Pokéballs.
Store guy: We are out of pokéballs.
Hiro: DAMN!!
Store guy: That'll be 12 yen.
The store guy reaches into Hiro's pocket and pulls out 5 yen, a rare candy, 5 strands of hair and 3 balls of lint.
Store guy: Is this all you have?
Hiro: Yes!
Store guy: 'kay, bye!
Hiro goes to the Pokécenter to heal his weak Pichu.
Nurse Jenny: Hi! I'll heal your Pokés. for 3 yen I'll also raise it to level 10.
Hiro: Oh boy!
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a mini-safe. He takes out 3 yen.
Hiro: Here ya go!
Nurse Jenny: Ok, gimme your Pokés.
Hiro: I've only got 1...
Hands over his Pichu.
Nurse Jenny: Haha! You must suck as a Pokémon trainer!
Hiro: I know....
CHAPTER 4
Hiro set off happily down Route 30 with his LV. 10 Pichu. He won a bunch of battles, but couldn't get through to violet city because of 2 5-yeaer olds having a fight. They were fat, too, so he couldn't move them. He went to Mr Pokémo's house to see if Prof. oak was visiting again. He was.
Mr. P: Hi Hiro. Can I see your Pokémon.
Hiro: NO! Youll try to tkae it and them youll give it to PROF. TREE!!!!!!!!
Prof. Oak: I'll give you a Pokédex four your Pichu.
Hiro: Hold on, I dropped the Poéball outside.
Hiro goes and grabs a round white rock and sticks half of it in reddish brown myud.
Hiro: Here ya go!*He hands over the rock*
Prof oad: Herre ya go! *he hands ovetr a pokédez*
Hiro: *running* SUCKERS!!!!!
Prof oak: Hey!
Mr. P: Good thing you put in that bomb that will go off when he catches 251.
P oak: He'll never catch 251, because only one person has ever even seen 251. ASH!!!!
Mr. P.: DAMN!
Hiro runs and runs and runs and bounces over the fat kids. Then he remembers something and goes back over. Then he takes Mr. p's egg and leaves afain. He runs till he gets to violet city. Then right before he goes to the POKéMON CEBTER, the egg hackes, and out popps atogempi. He heals his pichu and then trhey go face Hobbes Hobbeson, the gym leader. They win, because tegopi uses metronome and blasts the guym apart and gfalkern dies and Hiro takes the badge.
Then he goes to the unown ruing and solves the puzzle and catches the unown and then in a fight with raikou (how did he got out of his tatue nayway?) He blows the ruins apart with his togepi names tog.
Then he goes through a cave and has his tog do metronome until surf comes up and then they surf and caught a lapras. Then he get to the next city and met kurt, who helps him beat the rockets because he is so fat and blubbers on them, crushing their bones.
Kurt: Haaa! I knew this extra blubbber would come in hansdy!!!!!
Rocket boss: aaaaa! nop!
KRUNCH!
CHAPTER 5
After beating the rockets, Kurt had hurt his back, so Hiro had to roll him to his house, through azalea town which was full of slowpokes sniffing where their tails used to be and yawning, so it was raining.
Kurt: My house is right there!
Hiro OK!
Kurt: Here take this special Pokéball I made.
Hiro: Ok!
As hiro was walking through the town, his shoes getting stuck in the mud/dung because it was all wet from the rain, a guy his age with long red hair stopped him and said
rival: did you beat the rockets?
Hiro:Yes.
Rival: You're a moron! Team Rocket Is cool!
Hiro: Team Rocket Sucks!!!!!!
Rival: Let's battle!
Hiro: YOU'RE ON!!!!!!
And Hiro was in for one of the toughest battles of his life.

[The Decapitated Mole]

ok, I'm bored of reposting chapters, so I'm gonna just post ALL of my old ones here so I can start writing again, cause I'm bored as HELL!!! [if you read this, please respond. It's very depressing to know that (as much as this story sucks) nobody--Ah hell, skip it. Here!

CHAPTER 6
Hiro got into the battle with his new rival named Fred by using his Pichu, which took out the Meganeum and gastly right away.
Hiro: You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Fred: Not as much as you!!!!!!
Hiro: Kiss my @$$!!!!!
Fred: OK!
Fred kissed Hiro's @$$.
Fred's zubat took out the weakened Pichu, so Hiro sent out Tog.
Hiro: TOG, METRONOME!!!!!!!!
Fred: Zubat, supersonic!
The zubat's supersonic missed entirely and hit Hiro, but Tog's metronome hit the zubat, only it was splash.
Fred: Ha! If I can kill this dopey kid, no one will be able to beat Team Rocket!!!!!
Hiro: YOU ARE A ****ING ******* SON OF A ***** MOTHER ****ING ****-FOR-BRAINS CRAP-HEADED *** WITH GAY CRAP HAIR!
Fred: Don't you go makin fun of my hair, now!
Hiro: Your hair looks like a pile of ****ing ****!
Fred: That's It, ZUBAT, HIT THAT BASTARD WITH YOUR WING ATTACK!!!!!!!!!
Hiro: Tog, use metronome!
Tog hit zubat full force with a strong headbutt at the same time that it hit with it's wing attack.
TOG: [think]Man, this sucks. Why am I listening to this guy anyway. Oh yeah. he's my mommy[/think] TOG!
Zubat: [think]God that redheaded kid is a retard. Doesn't he know that I can't win?[/think]BAT!
Fred: Zubat, hit that Togepi with your strongest wing attack!
Hiro: Tog, TACKLE!!!!!!!
Both Pokémon hit at the same time, causing an explosion which slammed Hiro into a building and pushed Fred through a fence.
Hiro: *cough* Tog?
Tog: T-t-togi...
Hiro: Tog!
He picks up tog and goes to a Pokémon center.
Nurse Jenny: Hold up you little twit. I'm talking to the Police officer.
Hiro: Hi, officer Joy!
Officer Joy: Shut up you smart-mouthed **** head!
Hiro: I wonder what's wrong with those two...
CHAPTER 7
Nurse Jenny: Team Rocket has run away...
Officer Joy: I have to go find them!
Officer Joy leaves. As she walks away, she turns around and says
Officer Joy: You are the weakest link, goodbye!
She pulls out a quisinart ray and blows up Nurse Jenny. Her head rolls to Hiro's feet and says
Head: Hey kid, go win the weakest link and kill mrs. weakest link there.
Hiro: I've got a better idea.
Hiro Picks up Nurse jenny's head and sticks a cherry bomb inside.
Head: Hey! What's the idea?
Hiro ties the fuse to one of nurse Jenny's hairs. Then He lights the hair and throws it at Officer Joy.
Officer Joy: Nasty! Like I want this head! Why's the hair on fire?
BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
Both heads roll to the middle of the Pokémon Center and says
Hiro: TOG, USE BIG BANG!
Tog: Togi?
Hiro: Whatever, use selfdestruct!
Tog selfdestructs and kills itself while destroying the two heads.
Hiro: Find a female Togepi, someone!
Eventually Kurt's granddaughter brings one and hiro has it do mouth-o-mouth to Tog.
Poppi: What's the point of that?
Hiro: The shock will bring Tog back!
Hiro as right. As soon as togi(that was her name)started, his eyes opened and he pulled her closer, and didn't let her go.
Hiro: That's enough, Tog! Can't you see she's already married? Look at those eggs there!*Hiro points to the togepi eggs that Togi brought*
Tog: *sadly*To-o-o-ooooog...
Togi: *sipathetically* Togipriiiii!
Tog: Tog?
Hiro: Hey Pikachu Pokédex, what are they saying?
Talking Pikachu Pokédex: The female said we can still be friends.
Hiro: Ah...
CHAPTER 8
Hiro headed to the gym to get his second badge.
Hiro: [think] I hope the gym blows up like last time. That makes it so much easier.[/think] You ready tog? You ready Pichu?
Tog: TOGIPRRIIIIIIIIIIII! *This means NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! In Togepi language. *
Pichu: Pi-Pichu-Pi!*This means No, you suck in Pichu language, but Hiro didn't check his Pikadéx
Hiro: Good.
He kicked the twins guarding the door to move them, then hypnotised the whole gym and had all their Pokémon do self destruct and blow up the gym like the one in violet.Everyone died, so Hiro took the badge and everyone's money. Then he left for the forest on the other side of town.

CHAPTER 9
Hiro walked through a building leading to the forest and saw a crazy old woman reading a magazine from December, 1899 upside down and laughing strangely.
Oldy: Is that you, Bosco Brown? kleglelegfe!
Hiro: RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
Oldy: Meet the one who talks at dawn and sleeps at midnight!!!!!
Hiro: RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
Oldy: The forest protector made me smart like this. cackleglee!!!
Hiro: Oooookaayyyyyyy....
He walked through the forest and saw a little boy who'd lost his farfetch'd.
Hiro: Do you need help, little boy?
Little Boy: Yes, please, I've lost my farfetch'd and I'm too scared to find it.
Hiro: Well, too bad! You shouldn't be scare, it's just a forest...
Suddenly a spinarak jumped from a tree in front of Hiro.
Hiro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Little boy: Don't be scared, that's just my spinarak!
Hiro: No, It's eating your farfetch'd!
Both: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Hiro tries to run, but he runs into a dead tree.
Hiro: Hey kid, do you have cut?
Kid: Sure!
Hiro: Thanks!
He takes cut and teaches it to Tog.
Hiro: TOG, CUT!!!!!!!!
Tog cuts and he walks through the tree.
CHAPTER 10

As Hiro walked through he saw a bird house that said
Birdhouse: Welcome to the shrine of the Forest Protedtor!
Hiro: Who's That?
Man behind sigbn: I'll tell you later!
Hiro: Oh man!
Hiro kept walking until he found a fork in the road. He said
Hiro: Tog, You're magic. Tell me the way!
Tog: Tog?
Hiro: Wellllllllllll?
Tog: *Pointing left* Tog!
Hiro: Okay, right!
Tog: Tog?
Hiro: Get back in your Pokéball!!!!!
Hiro got Tog put back in his Pokéball. He then saw a kid.
Kid: I'm having fun headbutting trees!
Hiro: I want to have fun too!
Hiro took the headbutt TM and taught it to Tog.
Tog, Headbutt!!!!!!!
Tog, Not understanding, sticks his head up his @$$.
Hiro: You stupis ***** -*** crap head! You're supposed to hit the tree!!!!!
Tog fell and rolled into a tree.
Hiro: How did you get out of your Pokéball, anyway? Get back in there!
Tog ran away until he reached a building.
Hiro: HA! Stupid Togs can't open doors!
He put the Tog back in it's Pokéball.
He went inside and smeeled a SWEET SCENT.
Hiro: That smell... It makes me want to steal.... It makes me want to smell it all the time... I'm doing crazy stuff!
Hiro took the lady's sweet scent.
Lady: There has been so much theivery in thisd stody!

CHAPTER 11
Well, hiro started out of the house, and right away he saw a wierd dog.
Hiro: HEY! THAT'S A DOG!
Other trainer on road: So? Who cares?
Hiro: There are no real animals in the world of pokémon!
Other trainer: It's a something, not a dog! LET'S FIGHT!
Hiro: Gimme a rest.
Trainer: NO!RATTATA GO~!
Hiro: Rattata? HA! You must suck a s a pkémn trainer!
Trainer: I dont't, I'm not a trainer. I never got a licsende. rattata, tail whip!
Hiro: You idiot! I didn't send out a pok1mon!
Trainner: Oops.
Hiro: TOG! METRONOME!
Tog used cut and cut off rsattas tail.
Hiro: Give me money now or pay!
Kid: Booho! Poor rattate.
He steals hiros money and leaves.
Hiro: Oh man, not back to this again...
Hiro saw a dad and his kid. thi kid had a pikachu mask on, and he said
Little boy: Look daddy! A wak little **** for us to kill.
Dad: WATCH YOUR MOUTH JR!
hIRO: PREPARE TO die!
Hiro tog's uses metronome unil it kills the snuble.
Dad: Now you've gone and upset my sone.
Hiro: You think I care?
Hiro pushes thie kid into a fence and walks toward a new house.
This better be the gym, or I'll kill something!
Pikachu Pokédex: It's not the gym.
Hiro: SHUT UP POKéDEX.
hE KILLS A PASSING DITTO.
CHAPTER 12

As hiro was walking past a house, he saw an old man standing outside the back door, watching some pokémon having eggs (if you know what I mean).
Hiro thought. (for the second time in this story)
Hiro:This must be where the tog egg came from!HEY MAN!
Old breeder: Toodle pip, young feller me bucko!
Hiro: You've been reading too much redwall. GO TOG!
Hiro showed the old man tog, and the old man said
Old breeder:Is this the egg that I gave Mr. Pokeémon?
Hiro: No, It's the egg vthat came out ov my @$$.
Old breeder: Dear, get some soap! This one's got a dirty mouth.
An old hag came out from the kitchen with a dirty, hairy bar of soap.
Old hag: *deep voice*I could only find the shower soap.
Old breeder: Don't want to foul our best soap with the likkes of his mouth. Get the plunger!
The old had went into a filthy bathroom and got out a brown-stained plunger ad shoved it into hiros mouth.
Old breeder: You owe us 1500 yen for this good cleaning, young rip!
Hiro: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*gasp*ooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo*gasp*o!!!!I'm broke. bye!
Hiro ran into goldenrod city, and saw a Rocket by a big building.
Hiro: Oooooooohhhhhhh, big shiny stick!~ MINE!
He walked alll over the teAM ROCKET guy and walked right through the door!
Hrio: I ant a radio!
Lady: You hacve to passt a teast first!
Hiro: Where's the test!
The lady hands hiro a paper.
Hiro scribbles and thinks for about 5 hours, while all of team rocket walk into the building and take it over.
Hiro:HERE!
Lady: You get a double f minus!
HiroL: SHUT UP ***** !
Hiro steals a raidno card and rusn into a rocket!

Chapter 13
Suddenly, some weird music started playing.
Hiro: Where's that weird music coming from?
Rocket Grunt: *grunting* Dunno. GO! RATTATA!
Hiro: Haha! Go! Lapras!
Rocket grunt: Oh wait, I'm not supposed to be here yet! 'kay, bye!
Hiro: Oh brother...
Hiro left the radio tower and started listening to the radio. Suddenly, a bunch of pokémon came out of the houses and walked aroun with him.
Hiro: What th- Oh yeah! The pokémon march summons pokémon. He threw a bunch of pokéballs and caught a rattata, a cyndaquil, a squirtle, a wooper, a caterpie, and a suicune.
Hiro: Yes! I caught... uh.. ummmmmmm.... a bunch of pokémon that I don't know!
He went to the gym, but when he got there, whitney was already crying.
Hiro: YOU'RE NOT SUPOOSED TO CRY UNTIL i BEAT YOU! WHY ARE ;YOU CRYING?
Whitney: Fred came and stole my pokémon...
Hiro: Good! Now I can beat you properly. Lapras, use...
Hiro:*evilly*Hyper pump.
Lapras started chargng up.
Whitney: What's Hyper pump?
Lapras put it's head in it's shell...
Hiro: It's my new move, TM 51. It's a cross between hyper beam abd hydro pump. GO!
lAPRAS USED HYPER PUMP AND BALSTEDC WHITNEY INTO THE WALL.
Hiro: Gimme a badge now!
Whitney: *Retarded voice* I DUNNO...
Hiro: Fine! I'll take at by force!
Whitney: I DUNNO...
Hiro garbed the badge ad ran out of the gym.
Hiro: Man I'm faat. I wish I had a skateboard.

Chapter 14
Just as the thought entered Hiro's head, he realized that he was lost.
Hiro: Oh man! Now I'm gonna have to walk around for hours and burn calories. That will make me hungry. I need a skateboard!
Just then he spotted a sign:
Sign: New, skateboard shop, opening tomorrow!
Hiro: Hey! A back door that leads into the shop. I'll get a skateboard.
Hiro got a skateboard, then, lookingback, he grabs the phone list.
Hiro: It's Prank-call night! Hey! I'll call up mom!
Hiro dialed his mom's number on the pokégear, and got the machine.
Answering machine: Hi hiro! It's ma. kleglefle!I'm in jail, and the cops tagged that, uh, thing I gave you, so don't have too much, ah, fun with it tonight! AAAAG!*CLICK, BANG!* AAAAAAA!
Hiro: Mom's dead.
...
...
...
Oh well, justwrap the body in newspaper, she can't tell the difference.
Hiro: Now, to get unlost...

CHAPTER 15
Hiro was walking when suddenly he came to a house.
Hiro: [think] Hmmm, I wonder if there's anything In this house. i'll go check.[/think] KNOCK KNOCK!
Lady in house: Stop yelling you stupid kid! You'll wake my fatass husband.
Hiro: Where am I?
Lady:You're in glodenrad, moron! i'LL check you're pokémon!
Hiro: Huh?
Lady: Ha! Just as I suspected! All your pokémon think your a retard.
Hiro: You scare me!
Hiro ran out of the house and across the railroad tracks.
Heiro: Haha! *singing* walkin' on the tracks!
Suddenly a train comes through.
Drver of train: Hey kid get off the tracks! You moron!
Hiro: Hey! I just went to the station and they said that all the trains broke down!
Driver: Oh yeah! Bye!
Hiro walked out of goldenrod into a buildng.
Guy behind counter: Hi guy! Take this stupid ugly bird to a random person on route 29 so I can have a good laugh at him, ok?
Hiro: Heck no! That's cruel and unusual punishment!
Hiro: ...For me. You're gonna have to deliver that bird yourself!
Guy: Ok! Well, I think I'll follow you around until I can get there! By the way, My name's mike, and I think you have a nice arse.
Hiro: Ok, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in this story, but I am still freaked out, so , uh, I'm leaving.
Mike: Hey wait for me! I had a ekans once! Once I fed it some beer!
Hiro: Ooooooooookay...
Mike: And i[blah blah]and the[yap yap]my mom says[dribble dribble dribble]! Isn't that cool?
Hiro: Um, Ya, whatever. I'm going to ee, eekru, um The next city!
Mike: Me too! and then [blah blah blawdy blar]...
Hiro:[think] It's going to bee a long rest of this stupid story.[/think]
Hiro and mike started walking. And walking and walking...
Mike: Yap yap blaw blaw HEHEHE!
Hiro: Do you have an off switch or something?
Mike: Blaw blaw? Gikkle yee dribble!
Hiro: Oh great. Now I've tuned out his jabber completely and can't understand a thing he says.
Mike: Who[blaw yap]talking[goo!]o?
Hiro: Must...Find...Earplugs!
Mike:Geegoo blaw yap dribble!
Suddenly they came to another building.
Hiro: Where do you think this buildig goes, Mike?
Mike: Angangang blee!
Hiro: Why do I bother?
Mike: I dunno.
Hiro: Mike, did you just say something?
Mike: WAUWAU cheese!
Hiro: -_-'
They walked through the building, and saw a guard.
Guard: FREEZE!
Mike: blaw?
Guard: Oh my god! You've released Mike on the world again! Run!
The guard runs and hides under the desk.
Mike: Gobbledegook!
Hiro: What the...
Hiro: Oh well, it's cool. LESGO MIKE!
Mike: Aroof!
They walked through the door on the other side of the building and came out in a park. They saw a man who was not hiding in terror at the sight and sound of Mike.
Man: Hello, would you like to join the bug catching game?
Hiro: Sure! Does it start in a few minutes?
Man: No, it doesn't start 'till tuesday, but if we lock you up in the bug catcher hotel, he won't be able to terrorize the world again!
Hiro: ??
Mike: Blaw!

Chapter 17

Hiro: LET US OUT YOU PEICE OF ****!
Mike: Blaw blawdy Blar...
Hiro: Why have you locked me up with this nuthouse?!?
Man listening outside door: I'll tell you for 5000 yen.
Hiro: Ok!
The man opens the door and lets hiro out quickly before mike can get out.
Man: About 3 years ago, Mike left his house in the Tofu League to come and train here in Johto. Unfortunately, he never got his liscence, for as soon as Professor Tree discovered his dark power, he banned him from getting a trainer liscence ever!
Hiro: What dark power?
Man: The power to.....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Hiro:I'm waiting.
Man: Hold your horses. I'm doing my best to make something up!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Ah! The power to..., bore the ears off of people!
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOO!
Man: Yup. He terrorized the world for, like, 2 years. I'm surprised you didn't hear about it.
Hiro: I was too busy watching cartoon Network.
Man: Well, good for you. Fortunately, a man came up with the new radio headphone hat™, and the sound blocked out mikes jabber, so nobody could hear it! Then we locked mike and his evil dark power away forever, in the-
Hiro: Ooooh! Lemme guess! Lemme guess! Is it... Uh, the Dead Zone?
Man: No, actually it was the route house pass through building by goldenrod.
Hiro: Oh man. Now I'm stuck with a psycho talker kid, who will follow me around everywhere!
Man: Wait! There is hope! There is one person in the world left who still has a radio headphone hat! Her name is Aunt Jemima! She's a supid old lady who is very very very dum!!!. You must find her before Mike destroys the world again!
CHAPTER 18

Hiro: Outta my way, you old fag!
Man: Are you gonna go find Jemima now? And where's my money?
Hiro: No, I'm not gonna go find some gay old lady so you will all be happy, I have a better idea.
Hiro takes all of the man't hair (which is a wjole lot) rips it off, cause it is actually a wig, and shoves it in mikes mouth.
Mike: b[muffle]kspdl[hair]ya[muffle]!
Hiro: Yay! It worked!
Man: That's nibe, but where's my monety? I need to buy some ben gay and a new wig!
Hiro: Oh yeah! That's right! I left it in the room you locked me in. You better go get it!
Man: Okies!
The man walked into the room and hrio locked him in.
Hiro: *running* SUCKER!
Hiro runs through the park and sees a whole bunch of bugs.
Hori: Oh yeah! I gotta join the bug-catching game!
Hiro walked into the house again, steals a sticker and 75 Park balls, and goes out into the park. He catches a level 2 scyther, and the contest ended.
Man behind other counter: The winner for this contest is... Gaytrainer Nick! You win a solar stone. Everyone else wins a nut! Ha!
Hior: I WANNA BIG GLOWY ROCK THINGY!
Hiro takes the solar stone and runs out of the house.
Hiro: Man I'm fat. I wish I had a skateboard. Oh yeah! I do!
Hiro jumped on the skateboard and rolled right into a tree!



CHAPTER 19

Hiro: Ow, my head hurts. OW! IT HURTS AGAIN, YOU MORON!
Mike: sgnjshgbsd;ilgjsadkgndapijgdkjgfhndlghladjgod?
Hiro: A pinecone fell on my head!
Pikachu Pokédex: Pineco...
Hiro: Stupid Pikachu!!!
Pikachu Pokedex: Pikachu Pokédex...
Hiro: NO MORE CORRECTING!!!
Pikachu Pokédex: Corrections...
Hiro takes the Pikachu pokédex and shoves it in his Lapras's shell.
Hiro kicks the Pineco. Then he shoves it into his backpack and walks away.
Pikachu Pokédex: *super muffled* Um, your forgetting someting...
Hiro throws a rack at Pikachu Pokédex, ecaus it was coming out. Then he thinks for 17 days and 19 nights.
Hiro: Oh yeah! Where's my breakfast!
Pikachu Pokédex: *muffled static* Not that, you retard!
Hiro Thinks until a kid throws a rock at him.
Hiro: Oh yeah! I caught a Pineco!
Kid who threw rock: Man, your'e dense. That's mine! By the way, I'm Alan, and I'm a achoolboy, so call me schoolboy alan!
Hiro: Howabout Alan Pickyournosewithgumponyourlargeheadandlotsofhairwh
oisgay? That's the only Alan I ever knew. And man, did he live up to his name.(also known as Soto)
Alan: Hey! Don't talk about my brither that way! I'm not really alan! I'm his sister, Ashley Soto!
Hiro: Oh my god! Not Ashly Fatasswhineyplaywithmyhairalldaylongbigasacowandst
upiderthanstupid?(also known as Soto)
Ashley: YES!!! Now I'll sit on you!!!
Hiro: Save me Mike!!!
Mike: noeijgasihgklsajfjkhgjzsighjrasgnjsdmiglsdjfvksdjk
glkdgaej igjtsti0e-tik[wgmgk 5y5yi3568305itk m53v mtru834693863otm wpwtjae]ptgRIY-EUTG0r9tue-9tu 43t-03t i93u63ui 6-teb!!!!!!~&%&*^$^&%*#$CYTC^%E^%#^
Ashley: Ha! I'm far to whiney and obnoxieous to be disturbed by noise like that!
Hiro: Nooooooooooooooo*gasp*o-

KRUNCH!

CHAPTER 20

Hiro: Hey, thanks for throwing that stick under ashley's fat @$$!
Kid who threw stick: Your welcome.
Hiro: Whell? What the hell is your name>
Kid: Oh, the name's blade. I'm a great trainer who dedicates his life to get ENTEI, SUICURNE and RAIKOU.
Hiro: Well good for you and howdee doo! Mike!
Mike: nfopsdihgsdiifle?
Hiro: YOUR FIRED! Go back to your route house. This guy's gonna be my security guard now.
Blade: Excuse me? I never said I was going anywhere...
Hiro: Yeah, but I know you will becuase if you don't I will beat you over the head savagely with my pineco that doesn't have a Pokéball.
Blade: I wanna catch it!!!!
Hiro: No, that's it's name, you retard! Pineco that doesn't have a Pokéball!
Blade: Uhhh... Ok!
Hiro: *Boots mike into the bug catcher's office* Tie hiim up, boys! LESGO BLADE!
Blade: Aroof!
They walked for about a minute until Hiro saw an indian albino midget.
Hiro: Hey! It's a little indian mn!
They chased him throught thte woods to his tirbe next to the bug catcher's game but no one could see it anyway.
Indian leader: Ooga Booga!
Hiro: I am hiro! what is your tribe?
Whole Tribe: Indian Tribe! Indian Tribe!
Hiro: LESGO!
Whole Tribe: Aroof!
Blade: How does he do that?

CHAPTER 21

Hiro, Blade, and the indian Tribe walked around aimlessly for days until they came to a wiggley tree.
Hiro: Move, stupidass wigglytree!!!!! Nobody Likes you!
Blade: *mumbling* These people scare me. They're gonna get me arrested and sent to mars on a huge splace shuttle with al of them one of these days. NO HIRO! I CAN';T KILL TREES!!!
Hiro: LESGO TRIBE!
Tribe: Aroof!
Hiro dadges out of the way just in time as the whole indian tribe tramples the tree and runs away.
Hiro scoops up the injured, comatose, near-dead sudowoodo and shoves it into a Pokéball.
Hiro: Man, I'm catching a lot of Pokémon! LESGO BLADE!
Blade: Aroof!
They walk until they get to Ecruteak City. Then they go to the Burneythingy tower.
Fred: Hiro, your a gay retard!
Hiro: Do you want me to kill you again?
Fred: I'm not dead ye- Oh crap! I am dead! I gotta go resurrect myself! Your a retaaaaaaaaard!
Fred's ghost floats away toward an island that was erupting from a volcano, even though it didn't have one.
Chapter 22

Hiro and Blade walked along through the burned tower and saw a bunch of guys breathing fire.
Hiro: Hey! HEY! I WANNA BREATHE FIRE!!!
Firebreather McGulinny: I'll fight you and if I win I can breathe fire and If you lose I can breathe fire!
Hiro: Sounds like a fair deal to me. GO UNOWN NUMBER 21!!!
Hiro threw a pokéball containing a unown shaped like the letter U.
Firebreather McGulinny:GO MAGBY!!!
Firebreather McGulinny's magby poked the unown in it's eye and the unown fainted.
Firebreather McGulliny: I can breathe fire!!! Yippee! Yay!!! Weeeeedelyhoodney!
Hiro: *gasp* Oh...no! *sputter choke* Whiting*cough* out! NOOOOOOOOO-
Firebreather McGulinny squirts a whole bottle of white-out in hiro's face and runs away.
Fred: Hiro, I'm gonna fight you 'cause I'm back to life now!
Giro: Hey! my name's different! Who's the bozo in charge of this!
Me: It's just a typo you moron.
Chapter 23

Fred: Hiro your a retard now I'm gonna kill you with my hounter go!
Hiro: Go lapras!
Suddenly a bunch of statues turned into dogs and ran them both over nad killed haunter.
Hiro: HAHA! I win with my sneaky little tricks! Haha!
Fred: Hiro your a retard you didin't trick me those stupid dogs ran me over now I'm gonna run away and call you weak just like always! You weak!
Fred runs away so Hiro goes to the g;uhn and finds moryt talking to Blade. BLADE I WILL NOT HAVE A TREASONOUS BODYGUARD YOU ARE FIRED UNTIL I SAY GO BACK HOME YOU RETARD!
Blade steals Hiro's suicune and runz away.
Blade: Haha I finally got one of those super dog things!!!
Hiro: Damn why do all these people suck and are super-goofy.
Morty: In order to fight me you must first beat me and then find the badge.
Hiro: Howabout I jsut beat you savagely over the head with Pineco that Doesn't Have a Pokéball.
Moryt: Hey! I wanna catch it and rub myself!
Hiro: THA'TS ITS BAME WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO TRY TO STEAD IT!
Me: Because I said. Now the chapters over and next time you will actually have to fight for your badge. Haha!
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO*gasp*OOOOOOOOOOOO*gasp*OOOOO! Ok see you next time folks!
Chapter 24

Morty: I will give you a badge if you talk to the video camera!
Hiro: Ha! The video was recording so I am taking the tape to the cops and tell them that you arre trying to steal smallchildren!
Morty: they won't arrest me! I'm cool!
Hiro: Ah, that's gross! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!! LESGO!
Ten minutes later...
Mike: *panting after running all the way from the route house pass through building* [akjfopknkfdjf]Aroof![adkjfasij]
Hiro: BLAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDEEEEE!!!!!!!
Blade: Ha, I knew you couldn't live without me, so I was wating outside!
Hiro: whatever. I need you to hold gay morty while I beat him savagely over the head with my Pineco that doesn't have a Pokeball!
Blade: I wanna-- oh, wait, ha ha, you did't ge me!
Hiro: what the hell is everybodys problem! thats it's name!!!!!
Hiro: Anyway, LESGO!!!
Blade and Mike: Aroof!
Morty:Nooooooooooooo! I have stolen kids! Please!
Hiro: Shut up bisnach!
Ten minutes later, after a savage beating of a certain gym leader...
Hiro: Where's the badge, foolish morty?
Morty: *etarded voice* i dunno!
Hiro: TELL ME LOSER!
Morty: I dunno...
Hiro: Blade, your evil anyway! Search him for the badge!
Blade: Hey, I'm not like that yo, I was just trying to get the bad-
Hiro: I said, get it! LESGO!!!!!
Blade: *hopping to it* Aroof!
Blade: *thinking* how does he do that?

[Lady Vulpix]

Well, some parts were funny, but I found some others disgusting. And some chapters had a lot of typos, especially chapter 4. And some parts went too fast.
Maybe without the massive killing it would have been fun to read. The parts where you mocked the games were enjoyable.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Thanks for the criticism, LV. It's very encouraging to get replies, even for as horrinble a story as this. It feels good to get back to actually writing new chapters, instead of reposting. But enough rambling, on with the show!

Chapter 25
After Blade got the badge, he had to wash himself.
Hiro: NO WASHIE! MORE POKéMON BADGE THINGIE!
Blade: My hands are covered with poo! And other stuff ok?
Mike: a;lkjdf;laskjf;ldsjf;sdkljfklfjmdkdkdkGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Blade: Mike's right! There's a lake thing coming up soon!
Hiro: HANGON DUMASS!
Hiro checks his map that he stole from the old guy.
Hiro: Ok theres a lake about 14 miles north of the next city. You can WASH you little handies there ok?
Blade: But that's a five day hike!
Mike: Jibbajabba
Suddenly Blade takes off his mask and HE IS TEAM ROCKET!
Blade: Prepare for trouble!
Other person who was in blade costume: And make it--*blablabla speech*
Hiro: What the hell?
Blade: Shutup already-- Hey, my names not blade!!!
Me: Then what IS your name, little miss prissypribcess?
Blade: BOB!
Hiro: Ok whatever.
Bob/Blade: HAHA! I still have "your" badge now Hiro ha! nd I have your dog so I am gonna be super now!!!
Hiro: Geez it's just a Level 1/2 Fat Old Dog and a ghetto badge covered with crusty poop.
Hiro: Waitaminnute--NOOOOOOOOooookay enough of that THE END FOR NOW.

But then Hiro decided to woke up.

Chapter 27

Hiro: We're going now!!! Lesgo!
Mike & Blade: Aroof!
Mike: *thinking* blasnegficntblvnbokg?*
Blade: Yeah, how does he do that?
Me: How the hell did you read thoughts???
Blade: Who said that? Go away, bigvoiceman!
Hiro: Hey! What about me!!?!
Mike: blsnefgxxzoknidi3nb!
Blade: Yeah, Mikes right again! Nobody cares about you!
Hiro: YOUR BOTH FIRED AGAIN SO GET OUT OF MY SIGHTT!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 28

Hiro: Oh great! In all the confusion, I'm lost!
Suddenly he saw a sign.
Sign: Hey moron! Want a tip?
Hrio: NO!
Sign: Toobad! My tip is really usefull and will help you beat everyone!
Hiro: Well what the hell is it??!?
Sign: You can find stuff in the flowers!
Hiro: Aaah!!!t
Suddenly a fat old lady in a kimono threw a Pokéball at him.
Hiro: Hey! What's the idea!
Lady: Come watch me dance!
Hiro: But your fat and ugly!
Lady: I'll give you an american dollar...
Hiro: An american dollar??? That's worth like 5000000000 yen!
Lady: Yeah so?
Hiro: Done and done!
Me: What's going on?...
Hiro: You've been coming into the story too much! You're fired!
Me: Oh mannn... Again...?
Hiro: GOAWAY!
Lady: Now for the dance!
Hiro: Now way, fattyoldyug! You're fired too!
Lady: But I'm paying you...
Hiro: EXACTLY! Now leave me alone!



...And now I've got writer's block so that's it for now kiddos

[pikachu_rulez]

Hmmm...this makes less and less sense as it goes....and I LOVE it! Muhahahaha. Mindless Pokemon nonsense. Just what Nurse Jenny offered

Hmm and I see you're also a Jhonen fan...don't steal HIS mindless nonsense now

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ok, heres a chapter. Oh, and if it's not good, I've got mega writer's block, so blame me.


Chapter 29

Suddenly Hiro realised that he was even more lost.
Hiro: Man, I'm fat and lost. I wish I had a map and a skateboard.
Random guy on street: You do!
Hiro:No I don't.
Random: Yes you do. You're holding them in front of you face and staring at them!
Hirorove me wrong, will you? Here they're yours now!!! Buahahahaha!
Random: Bahahahaha
Together: Buahahahaha!
Hiro: Buahahooookay that's enough of that!
Hiro walked away towared the north.
Random: *faintly* Buahahahaha...
Hiro: Man, what a super-goofy freak.*idea*
Hiro runs back to the guy.
Hiro: Ho'd you liike to b my bodyguard!!
Random[who's name is PingPong]: Ok but remember I only speak yiddish! Ybid Dyoid!
Hiro: Shut up and guard. What are you Pokémon?!~!
PingPong: I have a wiggleytree.
Hiro: THEEF THEEF STEALING MY BEEF!
Pingpong: What the hell are you talking about?
Hiro: Can't you see chapter 21 I scooped the dead wigtre into my Pokéball!
PP: Wel you forgot to pick it up stupid!!!
Hiro: Ok at least its reasonable. LESGO!!!
PP: Aroof!


Meh. It came out ok. I'll keep it.

[Powarun]

Crazy moronic and hard to follow, please take thses as compliments

[The Decapitated Mole]

I always do.

Chapter 30

Hiro: Hey P! Wer going into that towerok?
PP: What are you talking about EH?
Hiro: Tower! You seen it now for it HAPPENS!
PP: What you mean that Burney tower?
Hiro: NO fag! I arleady wnet there!
PP: So its the scrapmetal tower?
Hiro: THat's the one!
Hiro and PingPong walk into the...KUKLUXKLAN MEETING!!!
Hiro: AA! GHOSTS!!?!
PP: What the hell was that questionmark for?
KKK guy: I hate japanese guys!
Hiro: WERE ALL JAPANESE fool!
The KKK guys shoot themselves and the moks are free.
Hiro: What is even going on here? Who ar the monks!?
PP: Haha I am a monk!
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooohey look a bird!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Holy crap, I must have been high when I wrote that last chapter. O well.

Chapter 31

Suddenly Hiro saw a bird.
Hiro: NOOO... I saw the bird last time narrationman!
Oh no he didn't! It's right there and now Hiro saw a bird.
PingPong:HA I AM THE MASTER!
Hiro: What are you talking about? Why are you even here, you don't have anything tto do with it?
Suddenly Fred came and took the bird.
Hiro: FRED! YOU LISTEN HERE FRED! I SAW IT FIRST!
Fred: No way man!
Hiro: But you're a suckie teamrocketfan!
Fred: Nope I'm reasonable now! I just want to steal your pokemon!
Hiro: I am SO confused!
Pp: Heres the deal: You fired the writer so no one is writing the story anymore.
Hiro: This isn't a story it's Pokémon, the world series!!!
Fred: Anywho, since no one is writing, it's not making any sense. That is all now.
Hiro: So it's all in our imagination!
P.P: No! It's all your fault!
Hiro:Your fired again man! Now I'm goin to the next city cause I've been here for almost half the TV SHOW until now. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be now!




[The real story: From about May-June 2002 to halfway through March 2003, I didn't write any new chapters in this, so kind of got out of it and forgot a lot of stuff happening, which is why the new chapters are kind of... "different."][Also I'm just getting weirder]

[The Decapitated Mole]

Whell, this is it! My crappy story is two years old today. Im gonna celebrate by typing two new full-length chapters right here in the text box just like I used to!

Chapter 32

Hiro finally left the last city without even doing much.
Hiro: Wow this story is crappy. I was in that city for about a year and I barely did a thing.
Suddenly a GUY came and challenged him!
Guy: Hey man I saw you now I'm gonna fight!
Hiro: I don't wanna fight you please leave me alone!
Guy: Nope! I saw you first so you're mine for the taking!
The guy sent out a RATICATE.
Guy: Haha Raticate use EAT!
The raticate ate the Pokéballs containing the unown U through Y1/2 and ran away.
Guy: HEY MAN! You stole my raticate!
Hiro: Man your dense! It hates you!
Guy: No way! Now I'll use my other Pokémon that wasn't STOLEN *Evil Glare at Hiro*MAGNEMITE!
Hiro: Ha since you ate my pokes I'm gonna steal your pokemon!
Hiro threw a pokeball.
Hiro: Haha now this thing is mine!
Suddenly a MISSINGNO came down and flew away with the Pokéball.
~**YOU CANT STEAL OTHER TRAINER'S POKéMON**~
Hiro: AAA! HEARING VOICES IN MY BRAIN!!!!!
Guy: You don't even have brains you big POKEMON THIF!
Suddenly Hiro beat the Magnemite savagely over the head with his PINECO THAT DOESN'T HAVE A POKéBALL and shoved both of them back in his bag.
Guy: Bohoo. Now I've got no Pokés.
Hiro:Too bad! I see some flowers!
Guy: Hey! Did you know that you can find stuff in the flowers?
Hiro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Chapter 33

As Hiro was running away from the crazy guy he hit another tree.
Hiro: CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!
Tree: Shut up!
Hiro: AA!
While Hiro was contemplating the tree, a fat mokney fell on his head.
Hiro:AA ITS THE SCARY MONKEY! WHAT THE HELL IS IT PIKADEX?
No answer.
Hiro: HEY PIKADEX YOU PIEVCE OF CRAP! ANSWER ME!
Hiro kicked his bag and out rolls a dead Pikachu.
Hiro: Wow... I killed a talking Pikachu Pokédex.
Hiro: DAMN YOU PIKADEX! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY YOUR WORTH!
Hiro kicks the pikadex and it's alive!
Pikadex: I want to ride on your hed!
Hiro: Fine. Now what the hell is that monkey!
Pikadex: I don't know what it is dumbass! Catch it!
Hiro: But your supposed to know all the pokemon!
Pikadex: I only find out the info after you catch it! So catch it mron so I can learn!
Then hiro threw the Pikadex at the monkey and put it in a pokeball.
Pikadex: It's a Aipom. It's got a monkey but it has a hand on its tail.
Hiro: Oh great I got stuck with the freak of the bunch!
Pikadex: *Sigh*...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Haha I can't be stopped! You think by not replying to this you will silence me?? Well, that may have worked in the past, BUT IT WON'T WORK AGAIN!


Chapter 34

Hiro was walking with the Pikadex on his head.
Hiro: Why are you even ridijg my head anyway?
Pkadex: Because I died you fool! LOOK A FARM!
Hiro looked and saw the farm.
Hiro: COWS!
Pikadex: How do you even know what a cow is, fool? THERE ARE NO REAL ANIMALS, REMEMBER?
Cow: Hey man, that's insulting. LESGO guys!
Ohter Cows: Aroof!
All the cows left revealing some MILTANK!
Hiro: Hey its a sick fake cow!
Little girl: Will you collect nuts from flowers for us to heal it?
Hiro: i have some now!
Hiro shoves the nut out of his backpack and throws it at the miltank so it dies.
Girl: WAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH!!!!! *it looks like laughing but it's actually crying*
Then her fat old farmer came out with a shotgun.
Farmer: NO SOUP FOR YOU, FOOL! GET OFF MY LAWN!
Hiro ran and ran until he was seen by another trainer.
Sailor: Haha we'll battle now you fool!
Hiro: Haha electric is better than water so Pichu GO!
Sailor: Haha Lv. 30 is better than Lv. 10 so Gyarados GO!
Hiro: Haha I GOT THE GYARADOS! RUN AWAY PICHU!
Hiro takes a giant pokéball and closes it around lapras while kicking the Pichu over the trees into the ocean.
Hiro: Haha it's mine!
He captures the big pokeball with a regular pokeball and leaves.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Why do you people refuse to reply to this?I know you're reading. This topic is flaming and it's only got 13 posts? Please, reply!


Chapter 35

Hiro was walking toward the big port city thing when he saw a big tower sticking out of the ground.
Hiro: Hey, there's a big housey-thing growing here! It must have eaten the nutrients and killed the city!!!!!
Pikadex: Hiro your a moron! I'll kill you now, except I need your head o sit!
Hiro walked into the building, and saw a guy.
Hiro: Hey guy! Why did you eat the city! Hu? Huhu? Huhuhuhuhuhuuuuuhuhuuuhhhhuuuhu?
Guy: Go away! You suck and the city is over in the other houses! By that ocean thing!
Hiro: Why dont I just eat you!
Guy: Ok this really does suck now. So long folks!


I'm sorry that sucked, but I'm very depressed at the moment.

[Tha Legend]

This story was stupid ridiculous funny. I shot soda out of my nose, and onto the keyboard. I will just choose to believe this isn't a serious writing attempt. I love it for what it is. It's so terrible, it's genius.
~Legend~

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, when I first started writing it, it was a serious attempt, but then I realized that I suck at wrtiting and that my natural insanity would pretty much prevent me from writing anything really serious, so I combined the two and out popped this little gem here. Sorry, though, no new chapters, as I'm afraid I've reposted everything I had, and newly written all that I've got in my head at the moment. I'll see if I can do something later.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Hmmm... That poll makes me sad, but I knew it all along. Oh well. I'm gonna attempt to write a new chapter now.


Chapter 36

Hiro got so angry, because he left the building thing and couldn't find it. Well, that doesn't say much for navigation now, does it?
Hiro: Why don't I find the city?
Pikachu Pokédex: Well, now that you're an idiot, you are in the city!
Hiro: Well, I think that's just a lie! I see a resteraunt, so I'll go find it!
Hiro enters the restourant and finds a fish.
Fish: I'm not a fish, you RETARD!
*in hiro's head*: Fish: Gulb Gub Fishy fishy duck!
Hiro: Fish don't say duck you moron!
Well, then the fish got so mad that he threw his GOOD ROD at Hiro. Wow, how did that even happne?
Hiro: I gots me a rod, now! Hahahaha tbel!
Pikachu Pokédex: Why don't I just kill you now?
Hiro: Because this story just gets exponentially weirder!
Fish: By disturbing me, I've gotten you a sandwich.
Hiro: Hey, just because I don't have a bodyguard at the moment, doesn't mean I want your sandwichy EVILS right now!
Suddenly Mike runs into the restaurant.
Hiro: Yay! Now I can eat the sandwich! LESGO MIKE!!!
Mike: Kn;adknfdlkskdkdkd;alskdfa;sdflkjsdf;askflda;skflj a;sdkfj;askldfjsl;dkfj;skladjfsa;dljkf--
*TRANSLATION*Mike: Hey man! I'm bodyguarding fred now! You're just a mean heartelss old man with you're sandwich, and you fired me too many times! i ain't gonna do this no more! You just--*end translation*
Hiro: I said LESGO!!!!!!
Mike: M..Kdd...M...Noadkoooo!!! AROOF!
Hiro: What?
Mike: AROOF!
Hiro: Good. Now, let's be on our way...



Wow... That was rather weird. I think I'll make mike loyal to Hiro again in the future. That chapter was okay, I think the 6 red bulls I just had helped. Oh well. Enjoy it.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, it appears that all I needed was a small vacation. But anyway, lately I've been yearning to write a new chapter, so let's see how it goes, shall we? *Oh MAN, my foot is itchy! What's up with that?*

Chapter 37

Hiro and Mike were walking.
Hiro: So you're a bodyguard, eh? How's that working out for ya?
Mike: kadmadfklmas, kdjasdfedke. afmkmeidkfndkwla;s.*sigh*
Hiro: Oh yeah, I forgot. Time to TRANSLATE!!!
He pulls the Pikachu Pokédex out from under the seat.
Pikadex: But we're walking!
Hiro: You dare argue with me? Back to the horrible seaty dooms that await you!
Mike: a;mfasdkdmdkdfnakdl! Fodladodllool.
Pikadex: Haha, he just called you a fool.
Hiro: I KNEW IT! You were out to get me all along!
Pikadex: Now what was that word again?
Mike: ;kjadfakdke,soedfkxdmdkechne.dmemcwmcjel293e0033
Pikadex: Oh yeah! Hey mikey! He likes it!
Hiro: I won't allow this so stop conversing at once!
The Pikadex was going back to that ||UnDeR tHe SeAt|| When all of a sudden, he was stopped by a pair of swim trunks.
Hiro: My bad. I dropped them. So beat it, trunkey!
Trunks: No can do, buddy! I'm canadian now!
Hiro: So you're friendly and good-natured?
Trunks: No! I'm drunk!
Mike: lamdlkadkdkmormciefm?
Pikadex: Yeah! Doesn't that mean you're from Hiro's house?
Hiro: Why you little...
Hiro suddenly strangles Mike. What a cliché!
Pikadex: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[dratinihaunter13]

i just got done watching an episode of simpsons where that scene occurred yet again, so that was weird ^_^. and i had to let ya know! yeah life can suck sometimes, sometimes all the time. ya just gotta try to remind yourself when the next vacation is gonna come around. and it never hurts to give yourself a vacation from stuff. actually, it's probably hurt somebody at least once completely rendering my previous statement to poffycock(sp?). but oh well.

and my over-serious self needs the insanity of this comedy every once in a while, so don't go canning it yet! i just love this kind of wacky comedy. like when the fish said duck. fish don't say duck. ...do they?

[The Decapitated Mole]

Uh...no...of course not... *nervous shifty eye glance thing*

Anyway, according to the poll, this story officially sucks, but I'm bored, and hot, and too tired to do anything else right now, so howabout another chapter, eh?


Chapter 38

They're still walking. Can you believe that? I've started bunches of chapters this way, but it's never been finished.
Hiro: I'm tired of walking.
Mike: ksafmasf[9pekd;asd0
Hiro: Such nonsense, I feel my pride slipping.
Pikadex: What the hell is wrong with you now?
Just then a Fred appears.
Hiro: Well, I suppose you'd like to be evil now?
Fred: Well, I'd fight you, but I have to take a piss!
Fred runs about 25 feet and then randomly dissapears.
Hiro: This is getting more like the game every second.
Now it's time for a Pokémon GYM BATTLE!
Gym: I heard that.
Pikadex: I fear we're all alone here, Mike.
Mike: *sigh* kl;madf;lksdkedm 043 fm olek[3rfj9 cdl,... ba8iu tt asdifma!
Hiro: Well put.
So somehow they're inside the Gym now. I don't quite understand, but it's battle time, so who cares?
Hiro: Oh, that's right. Mike, wha'ts that you said about that gym?
Mike: anmfklsdfj kl;sf
Hiro: DAMN YOU BRAIN! WHY HAVE YOU BLOCKED HIM?????????
Brain: Sorry, Hiro's brain is out at the moment. If you'd like to leave a message after the bleep, nothing will happen. Bleep.

[The Decapitated Mole]

That's right. I have re-written the misadventures of hiro. It now has MORE DETAIL! MORE COMEDY! AND IS WRITTEN IN A DECENT FORMAT!
Fun, eh? And as the chapters progress, the length of them gets longer, and I've added a lot of things, that will start around chapter seven. So here it is; the NEW MisAdventures of Hiro!

Chapter One

Hiro woke up very early one Spring morning, only to realize that his mom had gone insane and made him a Cinnibar Volcano Burger with Baking 'Basco Sauce™ [the hottest and slowest-acting hot sauce on earth] for dinner, and his tongue was disintegrating in his mouth! He was running around with his head in his *** when his insane mother stopped him.

"Heheheheha! I "found" a bunch of stuff while I was, uh, "shopping" in the Quik-E-Mart. Neat quote marks, eh? Eh? Eh?" cackled his mother creepily.

"Yo, Ma Dukes! Ain't that Quik-Mart-E bein' closing for some day or stuff?" babbled Hiro, still trying without success to douse his mouth.

"Don't talk back to your elders!" snapped his mom irritably, "the point is that the cops tagged this, so I want you to have it! BIRTHDAYTIME HAPPIES!" she gleefully shouted wile shoving a shiny new Pokégear into Hiro's pocket.

"B-b-but ma's, if'n I gots it, I am havin' lotsa troubles!?" blubbered Hiro while undertaking plastic surgery to slow the burning process.

"That's right, birthday..." she trailed off unhelpfully.

Well, Hiro was still unable to cool his mouth, so he ran to the sidewalk and proceeded to stick a fire hydrant into his mouth, which, apart from stretching his large head to almost twice its normal size, was somehow able to cool him off. So he went to see his good friend/enemy, Professor Tree, and told him of his current predicament.

"Your mom went crazy again? Well, you'd better take a Pokémon. It can be dangerous out there, you know," said the sympathetic prof.

"Thanks profess--HEY!" Hiro started, as the prof. reached out to take the Pokéball back, remembering the time Hiro put Ben Gay in his shaving cream.

"No way, old dude, this is mine!" shouted Hiro. He ran back home, snuck into his room, and grabbed his Talking Pikachu Pokédex™. He then headed for the path on the other side of town.

And so the adventure begins...

---

You like?

o_0
jimm

[Powarun]

Um okay, no offence but I am speechless, this is a bunch of nonsence in trainer fic form it seems like. Yeah details are nice but it is missing legth and something.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yes, I know it is missing length. I said so in the first post, that the length gets better and better as the chapters progress. I'm only doing this because the old way of this story just got too simple for my taste. I'm not trying to write a trainer fic here. I'm trying to re-write an old imitation trainer fic les horribles.

Chapter Two

As Hiro set off down Route 29, he saw a lanky guy with spiked, crazy green hair and a blue nose plug, who said to him "Hi! I'll show you how to catch Pokémon for 100 yen!"

"But--"Hiro started.

"That's great, just great. Now, I'll just have a look in your wallet to see if you've got the money!" the guy said happily, before counting Hiro's cash, mumbling to himself, "10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, uh, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50! There, perfect!"

"But I thought you said--" Hiro stammered

"Okay, the way you catch Pokémon is to throw a Pokéball and hope it hits the Pokémon! 'Kay, bye!" taught the strange guy cheerfully.

"But I don't have any Pokéballs yet!" Hiro finally managed to get in.

"Okay, well, go buy some in Cherrygrove and I'll show you again for half price!" said the scam artist, for by now even Hiro could tell that he was a scam artist. He sighed in defeat.

Hiro continued down the road a ways until he saw a small ridge. He tried to climb it, but some strange force was stopping him from approaching the four-inch ledge. So he walked around it and saw before him a really funky-lookin' flower. So he said, to no one in particular, "Hmm... What's that flower thingamabobber?.."

Suddenly, a guy on the other side of the flower yelled, in a freaky voice, "you can find stuff in the flowers!"

"But what is--" Hiro began.

"You can find stuff in the flowers!" exclaimed the odd-looking man again.

"BUT WHAT--" Hiro stammered angrily.

"You can find stuff in the flowers!" The guy stated as calmly as ever.

"I DIDN'T ASK WHAT IS IN THEM, I ASKED WHAT THEY AAAAARRRREEE!!" screamed an enraged Hiro. Suddenly, he saw a sign that read this guy is a robotic tourguide.

"Oh brother..." he sighed.







Don't worry, most of the chapters after this one are longer.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

M'kay, here ya go with new chapterness. M'kay?

Chapter Three

Hours later, Hiro was walking exhaustedly through the tall grass. Unfortunately for Hiro, it turned out that the Pokémon Prof. Tree had given him was a level 2 Pichu, which had fainted in his first battle, against a level 3 ratatta. Hiro had fought in 32 Pokémon battles and lost them all horribly. He was all beat up, because after the Pokémon beat up his Pichu, they would turn un him. They did this because they were crazy from pollution fumes and savage for blood.

He finally made it to Cherrygrove City when an old guy stopped him and said "Hi! I live here! For 300 yen I'll show you around!"

"Hmmm..." muttered Hiro uncertainly.

"Great. Now just hand me your wallet and we'll be on our way!" said the old guy, while stealing Hiro's wallet. He then grabbed Hiro, walked a few feet to stand in the middle of the small town, and waved vaguely at some stuff. "Ok, that is a Pokécenter, that's a Pokémart, that's the ocean, there's route 30, and those are some houses. 'Kay, bye!" The old guy then moved slowly toward the house over there, okay?

"Hey, wait!" Hiro yelled. He stole a Pokémap card from the old guy's pocket and inserted it into his Pokédex.

"What was that for?" asked the inquisitive oldster.

"Just who wants to know!!?!" bellowed Hiro.

Hiro then ran across town to buy some Pokéballs. Then he had to run all the way back because what the old man had said was a Pokémart was actually a Pokécenter, and vice-versa. When he finally got there, he learned some disappointing news.

"Sorry, we are all out of Pokéballs," said the guy behind the counter.

"DAMN IT!!" exclaimed Hiro.

"That'll be 12 yen," the store guy said with an evil grin. He reached into Hiro's right pocket and pulled out 5 yen, 3 balls of lint, a rare candy, and 6 strands of hair. "Is this all you have?"

"Yes!" said Hiro angrily. Then he ran back across town to heal his Pichu. When he got to the Pokécenter, he finally heard a bit of good news.

"Hi, I'll heal your Pokés. For 3 yen, I'll also raise them each up ten levels!" said Nurse Jenny, the cheerful old granny behind the counter.

"Oh boy!" exclaimed Hiro. He reached into his left pocket and pulled out a mini-safe. He opened it, took out 3 yen, and replaced it in his pants.

"Here ya go!" expleted Hiro, forking over the dough.

"Ok, give me your Pokés," said Nurse Jenny.

"I've only got one..." said Hiro sadly, hanging his head in shame.

"Haha, you must suck as a Pokémon trainer!" laughed Nurse Jenny shrilly.

"I know..." said Hiro.




It's done, m'kay?


o_0
jimm

[Tainted]

Needs length. Needs description.
Otherwise: Somewhat humorous.

Keep working on it, its not really howling in laughter humor more like a "Heh, yeaaaaah" humor.

Yeah...

Enjoys reading,
Zak Hunter

[Craig]

"Haha, you must suck as a Pokémon trainer!" laughed Nurse Jenny shrilly.

best. line. ever.


lol this is funny, and its kind of a relief to read someting that attempts to be funny (but it is! ..trust me!) and is short instead of a long ..novel like fic sometimes/

[The Decapitated Mole]

yay people like it! I actually don't find this fic very funny anymore, possibly because all the chapters up to around chapter 20 were originally written over 2 years ago... But oh well. Here's chapter FOUR!

Chapter Four

A few hours later, after waiting because the level up machine broke, Hiro set off semi-happily down Route 30. He won a bunch of battles, but couldn't get through to Violet City because of 2 five-year-olds having a sissy slapping fight in the middle of the road. They were fat, too, so he couldn't move or get around them. So he went to Mr. Pokémon's house to see if Professor Oak was visiting again. To make a short story shorter, he was.

"Hi, Hiro. Can I see your Pokémon?" asked Mr. Pokémon hopefully.

"NO! You'll try to take it and then you'll give it to PROF. TREE!!!" screamed Hiro.

"Hiro, I'll give you a Pokédex for your Pichu," said Prof. Oak calmly.

"Ok. Hold on a sec, though. I think I dropped the Pokéball outsite," said Hiro, exiting the tiny hut in the middle of nowhere for some reason. Hiro found outside a roundish white rock. He took it and stuck half of it in a puddle of reddish brown mud, then brought it inside.

"Here ya go! Said Prof. Oak, handing over the Pokédex with this smug and superior look on his face.

"Here ya go!" said Hiro, handing over the rock with this smug and superior look on his face. Suddenly, he took off running, yelling "SUCKERS!"

"DAMN IT!" bellowed Mr. Pokémon, "but at least you put in hat bomb that will go off when he catches a Pokémon."

"Mr. P, there are two things wrong with your reasoning," the Prof explained, "First of all, Hiro is too stupid to be able to catch a Pokémon. Second, that "Pokédex was just an empty chocolate box painted red."

Hiro, meanwhile, was running up route 30. He bounced over the fat kids, then remembered something and bounced back over. He took Mr. Pokémon's egg and ran away again. He ran and ran until he got to Violet City. Then, right before he went into the Pokémon Center, the egg hatched, and out popped a TOGEPI!! Hiro healed his Pichu at the Center, then went to challenge the gym leader, Hobbes Hobbeson, for a badge. The fight went on for a while, and Hiro would have lost, until his Togepi used Metronome and somehow blew the gym apart, killing Hobbes and all the annoying Jr. Wannabe trainers. So naturally, Hiro stole the badge and everyone's money and skipped town after buying some Pokéballs and naming his Togepi Tog.

After that, Hiro went to the Unown ruins and somehow managed to catch all of the Unowns. Then, in a completely random fight with Raikou [how did he get out of his statue yet, anyway...?] Hiro blew the ruins apart with Tog.

Then he wandered around until he found a cave [he had completely forgotten about the Pokémap card] and went in. He heard some strange noises coming from the other side of some cave water, so he had his Tog do metronome until he did surf. He then surfed out and caught a LAPRAS! Then, in an incredible stroke of genius, Hiro managed to get himself out of the cave in only a week! He found this fat old guy named Kurt, and helped him beat Team Rocket because Kurt said if Hiro didn't halp him, he would sit on him. But when they went down into the huge well where the rockets were, Kurt hurt his back, so Hiro used him to blubber on the rockets, crushing their bones.

"Ha! I knew this extra blubber would come in handy someday!" yelled Kurt as he sat on the last rocket.

"AAAAAAHHHH!! NOOOO--"

KRUNCH!






I know that chapter went very fast. But whatever.


o_0
jimm

[www.pokeusa.com]

umm, i remember you from tan ...

nice fanfic..

[The Decapitated Mole]

And.. um.. i dont remember you from tan. Sorry. What's your name there?
Anywho, Chapter 5 is really short, I think it's the shortest chapter. But here.

Chapter Five

As was said before, Kurt had hurt his back while beating the rockets, so Hiro had to roll him back to his house. The town was full of Slowpokes, now. They were all sniffing at where their tails used to be and yawning, so it was raining.

"My house is right there!" exclaimed Kurt.

"Ok!" said Hiro

"Here, take this magic Pokéball I made!" said Kurt, handing Hiro a glowing ball of hardened radioactive waste.

"Ok!" said Hiro

As Hiro was walking through the town, his feet getting stuck in the odd combination mud/dung from the rain, a guy his age with long red hair get in his way and yelled at him.

"Hey, did you beat the rockets?" asked the guy.

"Yes," answered Hiro dutifully.

"You're a moron! Team Rocket is cool!" he said stupidly.

"Team Rocket sucks!!" yelled Hiro.

"Let's battle, with POKéMON!" exclaimed the dopey redheaded kid.

"You're on!" screamed Hiro, jumping around and splashing mud everywhere.

And so, boys and girls, Hiro was in for the first real battle of his life! Until next time!



Yes, incredibly short, I know. Sorry. But Chapter 6 is great [i think], so whatever.

o_0
jimm

[www.pokeusa.com]

Originally posted by The Decapitated Mole
And.. um.. i dont remember you from tan. Sorry. What's your name there?

Shiny.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ah, the infamous shiny. Yeh, I remember you now...

[Lady Vulpix]

Well, it is better than the previous one and somewhat funny. It's still rather monotonous, though. And everyone in the gym died for no reason except for Hiro? ¬_¬ In any case, wouldn't the police be after him, after that happened?

[The Decapitated Mole]

Of course not! They're too busy with Team Rocket! [somehow...?]
Anywho...

I should warn you. This chapter contains the following:
ICP [Intense Condensed Profanity], VST [Very Stupid Trainers], and DOP [Death Of Pokémon]. Sorry.

Chapter Six

Hiro was about to get into the battle when he suddenly realized something.

"Hey! What the hell is your name??" inquired Hiro.

"My name's Fred! And you aarree... Hiro the Moron!" screamed Fred.

"Hey! How'd you know my name?" Hiro asked.

"Duh, it's written all over this story! Ghastly, go!" yelled Fred, starting off the battle at last.

"Okay then, time for level 12 skills! Pichu, go!"

"Ha, easy! Ghastly, use some attack!" yelled Fred.

"Pichu, go use your level 12 sills to do stuff!" said Hiro.

Well, as you can probably tell, neither of these fine *cough, cough* young individuals had any battling skills whatsoever. The Pokémon weren't as stupid as their masters, so they soon figured this out, too. Needless to say, they took matters into their own hands.

Fred's Ghastly used Scary Face, but that didn't do any damage, so it didn't matter. Pichu really did use his level 12 skills, he used his new move that he had just learned somehow, Super Zap-O-Rama [don't ask, it's been a while since I played this game]. It killed the Ghastly, so ha ha.

"You suck, Ghastly. I'll kill you later. Now Meganium go!" expelled Fred, grabbing his dead Ghastly.

A big ol' Meganium came out and started throwing a tantrum for no reason. Hiro and Fred ran away, and Pichu got stomped cause of the scary face. When it was under the Meganium's foot, it used its Super Zap-O-Rama again, and they both died.

"You suck!" said Hiro.

"Not as much as you!" angered Fred.

"Kiss my @$$!"

Okay!" said Fred, kissing Hiro's big ol' planet sized arse.

Fred sent out his Zubat next, and Hiro sent out Tog. Doesn't it seem like he keeps using the same Pokés?

Suddenly, Hiro decided to use some intelligence. "Tog, use Metronome!" he shouted at Tog.

"Ok, if he gets to use real attacks, then so do I!" shouted Fred. "ZUBAT, SUPERSONIC!"

Well, as Fred's Zubat didn't know supersonic, it just used tackle instead. But that missed Tog entirely and hit Hiro. Tog's hit was right on target, but it was only splash.

"Ha, if I can kill this dopey kid, nobody will be able to beat Team Rocket!" exclaimed Fred gleefully. "Nice work, Zubat!"

"Fred, you are a ****ing asshold son of a ***** mother****ing ****-for-brains crap headed *** with gay crap hair!" screamed Hiro, finally releasing all of his anger.

"Don't you go makin' fun of my hair, now," warned Fred.

"YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF ****ING ****!!" screamed Hiro.

"That's it, I have HAD it with the hair things! ZUBAT, HIT THAT BASTARD WITH YOUR STRONGEST WING ATTACK!"

"Tog, jump in front of it and use metronome!"

Tog hit Zubat full force with a headbutt at the same time it was about to ram Hiro with its Wing Attack.

"Why the hell am I listening to this kid, anyway?" thought Tog. "Oh, yeah, he's my mommy.

"God that redheaded kid is a retard," thought Zubat. "Doesn't he know that I can't win?"

"Zubat, hit that togepi with another wing attack!"

"Tog, TACKLE!"

Both Pokémon hit at the same time, somehow causing an explosion that blasted Fred through a building and pushed Hiro into a fence.

"Tog?" said Hiro, coughing.

"T-t-togi..." sputtered Tog.

"TOG!"

Hiro rushed Tog to the Pokémon center, where Nurse Jenny and officer Joy were talking.

"Hold up, you little twit! I'm talking to the Police Officer!" said Nurse Jenny, that stupid old granny.

"Hi, Officer Joy!" said Hiro.

"Shut up, you smart-mouther **** head!" said Officer Joy, that stupid young granny.

"I wonder what's gotten into those two..." sighed Hiro.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Wow, I have been very lazy and not get up a new chapter. But anyway, here's Chapter Seven! [you have absolutely NO idea of all the trouble I went through to get this to you]

Chapter Seven

"Team Rocket has run away..." expelled Nurse Jenny.

"Oh really?" questioned the incredibly stupid Officer Joy, as a Team Rocketeer danced with her in the center of the room.

"Hey! Get out of here, y'all!" belched up Nurse Jenny.

"Step off, Jen! He's mine!"

"But that's ROCKET!"

Whilst all this was happening, the Rocketeer ran out the door disguised as Brother Theodore.

"Um... Excuse me, but Brother Theodore just ran by the window," said Hiro, trying to break up the super catfight of doom.

"No, that was just a Team Rocket guy in disguise. No reason to be alarme--"Joy trailed off, trying to figure out what was being wrong with her thought process. "Well, I suppose I should get him, eh?"

"Damn straight."

As Officer Joy was leaving, her head poofed into the Weakest Link lady's. How odd. Anywho, she did the link poof and turned around, pointing her quisinart ray at Nurse Jenny's lower left appendix. "You are the weakestlink, goodbye!"

KABLAM!

Needless to say, Jenny's appendicitis was cured right up. As an unfortunate side-effect, Jenny went flying everywhere. Her head landed at Hiro's feet.

"Hey, kid! Go win the Weakest Link and kill Mrs. Weakest Link over there! Huh? Huh? Huh?" Jenny's head gasped with its dying breath.

"You know, I'd really love to, me being the big fan of intelligence that I am, but I think I may have a better idea," said Hiro helpfully, as he removed Jenny's lower jaw and brain, filling her now empty skull with gunpowder. He then lit one of the hairs, and tossed it over to Officer Joy.

"What do you think you're doing, assaulting a police officer with your evil head-explodey! Why, I could have you arr--"she trailed off, once again overcome with her own stupidity, before the "bomb" exploded, and both hers and Nurse Jenny's heads landed in the middle of the floor.

"TOG, HURRY, USE BIG BANG!" shouted Hiro, completely caught up in the excitement of the moment.

"Tog?"

"Oh, whatever, just use selfdestruct."

Tog selfdestructed, killing himself and severely injuring Hiro and the two heads.

"Somebody, get a female Togepi, quick!" ordered Hiro.

"Why? Tog's dead, fool!" said the random standing-in-the-Pokécenter guy.

"I don't pay you to contradict my orders! Now get to it, lackey!"

"Yes sir, Mr. Hiro-thingy!"

Well, in the midst of all these morons, Kurt's granddaughter managed to find a female Togepi somewhere, so Hiro had it to Mouth-to-Mouth with Tog.

"What's that f--" started the Pokécenter-standy guy, but he was shut up with a menacing glare from Hiro.

Well, it looks like Hiro was right for once, because as soon as Togi, the female, started the MtM, Tog's eyes opened wide and he pulled her closer, closer, closer...

"Awww..." said several people. Hiro, however, was not amused.

"Tog, cut it out! Can't you see she's married?" Hiro bellowed, thrusting his meathooks at the overly jiggly batch of Togepi eggs that Togi brought.

"To-o-o-oooog..." sighed Tog sadly.

*At this time, there is Pokémon dialogue. I don't feel like writing Togepi sounds. I just don't. Sorry.*

"Hey, Pikachu Pokédex, what are they saying?"inquired the ever-lovin' Hiro.

<<"Th-e F-ema-le--said-'w-e ca-n stil-l be fr-iend-s!'>> the Pikadex spat out in a monotonous voice.

"A little more human please, Pikadex," said Hiro impatiently.

<<Sorry, sir. What I said was that the female said they could still be friends>> the 'dex said with a sneer.

"I heard you the first time. Don't get smart with me."

<<'Miyeh myei mih mih meyh'>> Pikadex mimicked.

"Alright, you're going BACK in the backpack!" Hiro exclaimed, as he shoved the Pika into his bag once again.



You likie?


o_0
jimm

[www.pokeusa.com]

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW......

[A Grilled Fish]

I wasted three of my precious minutes reading this wonderful work of art. When I say wasted, I mean wasted like in the Little Prince.

Please forgive me, now I must leave my shell behind on the Earth and travel to the stars.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Congratulations, Mr. Fish. You have me stumped as to your opinion of this story.

Anyway, here's chapter 8. Have fun!

Chapter Eight

After going to the Auxillary Pokémon Center, helping rebuild the regular PC, and stealing a pie from an old lady's windowsill, Hiro was ready to get his second badge! Oh boy!

"I hope the gym explodes like last time, that was so incredbily easy..."Thought Hiro evilly, "You ready, Tog? You ready, Pichu?

"TOGIPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Bellowed Tog squeakily. What he actually meant was "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" But Hiro didn't check his Pikadex.

"Pi Pichu Pi!" Pi'd Pichu loudly. What he really meant was "No, you suck," but once again Hiro was too lazy to check.

"That's my boyz!" Said Hiro affectionately.

"PICHICHUCHP!" Spat Pichu angrily.

"Your pichu says it's not a bo-" The Pikadex started to say as it was crawling out.

"Didn't I shove you in a bag somewhere?" Questioned Hiro.

The discussion was cut short, however, by the appearance of a large Slowpoke standing in front of the gym doors.

"I'll handle this!" Said Hiro, throwing the slowpoke at Fred, who was just beginning to regain conciousness nearby.

"Ill get you, Hiro. Mark my words, before..."Fred began, before falling into a coma as the Slowpoke bit his neck.

"Good ol' slowpoke. I taught it well."

"Eh? Who said that?" slobbered Hiro.

"Tehehehehehehehehehehehe" Said the twins together. Very creepy, no?

"Well, I'd love to stay and, um, watch you two laugh, but I've got me a gym to explode." With that, Hiro kicked the twins out of the door, and threw Tog into the middle of floor, near the Gym Leader, beeping loudly for a few seconds and then deflated the Gym with it's hideous plosion. Then it exploded and destroyed everything in the gym.

"Damnit, now they're all dead. Which means they won't be needing these things anymore!" Hiro said gleefully, taking everyone's money, and stealing the badge from bugsy. He then gathered his Tog and set off for the small pass-through building on the other side of town.

[The Decapitated Mole]

New? Chapter? For? You? People? Now? Ha. Ha. Poopy.

[b]

Chapter Nine

So Hiro walked towards the building. There was really no point to this building, I guess it was just protecting one side of itself from the other. But anyway... he made it to the building, therfore I explain what happened.

He looked around inside the small building. It was made of adobe and half of it had been destroyed in Hiro and Fred's battle. As Hiro walked through to the forest on the other side, he came across a strange old homeless thing on the ground. Well, that's all good and fine, but what did she say?

"Is that you, Bosco Brown? Kleglelefle!" begged the old woman, lowering her crumbling ancient magazine and screaming at him.

"RUN AWAY!!!!!!"

"Meet the one who talks at dawn and sleeps at midnight!" Enchanted the ancient old crumbucket.

"RUN AWAY!!!!!!"

"The Forest Protector made me smart like this! Cackleglee!" she laughed, running into the wall repeatedly.

Suddenly some guys came in. Then they left again. Wow. Anywho, Hiro ate the woman's overactive thyroid to calm her down, then walked through the door. He walked around for a day or two before discovering that there was actually more to the forest than the three foot area in front of the door. So after that, it was only a matter of weeks until he found the small boy standing alone by a rotted old tree stump, looking for his Farfetch'd.

"Do you need help, little boy?" Offered Hiro.

"Yes, please, I've lost my Farfetch'd in the woods, and I'm much to scared to go and find him. I gots'ta find him, I just gots'ta."

"Well, TOO BAD! Anyway, you shouldn't be scared, it's just a forest." Just as Hiro turned to leave, a Spinarak jumped out of a tree right in front of him! "AAAAAAHHH!"

"Wait, don't be scared, that's just my Spinarak" The boy said, trying in vain to calm Hiro down.

"No, IT'S EATING YOUR FARFETCH'D!"

"AAAAAHHHHH" They both tried to run away, but hit the dead old tree head on. "Hey, kid, do you have CUT?" Hiro asked, taking the CUT HM from the kid's pocket.

"Sure, here ya go!" The kid yelped, taking back the HM and then giving it to Hiro.

"Thanks, buddy. TOG, CUT!" He screamed, throwing Tog at the tree.

"Uh, you have to actually use the HM in order to teach cut to your Pokémon."

"I knew that! I was just trying to see if tog knew."Hiro said lamely, kicking tog."You stupid bastard, you should have known that!"

So he taught it to tog, and used the cut, walked through the tree. You know the drill. I'm just tired of typing now.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Wow, this hasn't been updated in a while... Oh well, I'll try a new chapter. M'kay?

Chapter 38

What Hiro couldn't understand mike saying was that The stupid Gym Leader was up in that tower thing. You know, the one Hiro thought enveloped the city? Or something. I forget, I have'nt played this game in a long time.

Hiro: Will you shut up already, I'm in the tower.
Mike: a;lijf;asmfkadjkdkdlssskdldkkkkskdofmmdklskdm
Hiro: Pikadex, can you translate him?
Pikadex: He's only been blocked in your very own mind, stupidhead.
Hiro: Well now, that's not fair, I demand a recount!
Suddenly, a sailor came up to Hiro and was all fat and stuff.
Sailor: Hi! Can I come up to you and be all fat and stuff?
Mike: lahdfjnasdf
Hiro: Well... I can't see Mikeé's logic, but since you seem to be a good pal, I'll allow it.
Sailor: Well now, that being said, I'll have to kill you,
Hiro: Fine, you do just that.
Sialor: Ok then I will.
Hiro: ...
Sailor: ...
Hiro: ...good.
Sailor:...
Sailor:... Ok then.
Hiro: ....
Sialor: ...
Hiro: ...
Sailor: ...
Sialor: I don't have any Pok(mon..
Hiro: *at the same time* I can't remember what a Pokémon is...
Both: Ha ha ha, what a dumbass!

[Ultra_Poke2000]

this is one of those icredibly funny makes-absolutley-no-sense-at-all LOL fics that i can only find realy rarely. anyway: LOLOLOL!!! great fic! culater.