Game: Whack-a-TPMer v.2 M. A. T_M_L

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Last spring, there was this whacking game by kitsun. I revive it with a little easier rules.

The rules are simple:

The object of the game is to "whack" as many different users that participate in the game and score as many whacks as possible.

to 'whack' someone, one must simply post who they are whacking and how they want to whack them.

I whack Bob; *SuperwhacKs Bob; *stomps Bob into the ground; are all acceptable whacks.

You may only whack those who have posted here. So, no sign-ups are necessary.

Here are the rules:

1) No Multiwhacks: only one whack per post, please.

2) No Rapidwhacks: you cannot whack multiple times in a row as per the double posting rule, and remember also that you must wait for two other persons before you post again just as in all the other 'normal' PCG games.

After a predetermined number of pages, I will tally up scores. Various "Awards" can be gleaned, such as:

Whack Champion: had the most variety of whacked users

Whackiest Whacker: awarded to the user with the most hilerious whack, as determined by poll.

Most Elusive Whack: awarded to the user that was whacked the least amount of times

This Round will last until the 121st post..

[mr_pikachu]

I post pictures of Mikachu Yukitatsu in his female persona all over the internet.

Whacked!

[Shadow Wolf]

Up in the sky, shinypkmnchaser realises the Buddhist Palm, diving downwards with his body ablaze, holding out his palm. He creates a hand-shaped crater in the ground, whacking mr_pikachu.

Whacked, Kung Fu Hustle style!

[Blademaster]

WHACK-A-TPMER IS BACK!?!?!

(christens the game by breaking a champagne bottle against Louis's head)

WHACKED!

[mr_pikachu]

*forces Blademaster to watch a "private video" of Mega Horny on Youtube*

W-w-w-whacked!

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Blademaster, is Louis the same as shinypkmnchaser? I recommend you to use the TPM names so that I can count the scores easier.

Now to my first MY whack in version 2:

mr_pikachu is browsing TPM. Suddenly, 'snowfall' takes over the screen. "What now? this isn't a TV broadcasting!" wonders mr_pikachu. Next, a lady in kimono combing her hair is seen. The picture is black and white. Then mr_pikachu sees some Japanese symbols on the screen.

Finally, there's a scene in a gloomy forest. In the middle of the picture, there's a well! Something is just coming out of the well, when mr_pikachu, scared, switches off the screen.

The screen turns on by itself suddenly. Now mr_pikachu sees what's coming out of the well. It's a girl with long dark hair on her face. She is dressed in white, wet clothes. The girl approaches the computer screen, until her head covers the whole screen. Then her head rises and mr_pikachu sees her face. It's the girl from Mikachu Yukitatsu's signature!! She opens her mouth saying: "I am Mikachu Yukitatsu, and I have taken this form of a girl to WHACK you!" Mikachu-girl attacks mr_pikachu!

The following day, mr_pikachu is found from his apartment, dead, with a horrible look on the face.

[Shadow Wolf]

...is Louis the same as shinypkmnchaser?

I can answer that. -Louis says- Since my username is too large, I prefer that everyone call me Louis. But exceptions can be made, right?

Mikachu replies -But that is madness!

Louis: -Madness?? No! THIS IS WHACK-A-TPMER!!!!!!!!

*shinypkmnchaser kicks mikachu in the chest, and mikachu falls into a bottomless pit behind him*

[Blademaster]

(forces mr_pikachu to watch a 'private video' of Michael Jackson on Pornotube)

JACK-WHACKED, BITCH!!!

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Tässä tarinassa Mikachu Yukitatsu on astunut uudelleen Suomen armeijaan. Tänä vuonna on Suomen yhdeksäskymmenes itsenäisyyspäivä, joten hän kirjoittaa tämän viestin suomeksi.

Mikachu Yukitatsu on taas eksynyt. Hänen täytyi palata kasarmille hakeakseen telttapatjansa, jonka hän unohti tuoda harjoituksiin. Mutta nyt hän kävelee rynnäkkökivääreineen tietä yhteen Suomen isoimmista kaupungeista, Ouluun.

Mikachu huomaa pienen paperinpalan maassa. Se näyttää olevan tulostettu sivu joltain internet-sviulta. "TPM...läimäytyspeli." siinä lukee. "Mitä hemmettiä. Minä läimäytän jotakuta!" ajattelee Mikachu. Pyssy kädessään, hän pysäyttää auton. Hän pakottaa ajajan viemään hänet Ouluun. Mikachu aikoo ottaa lentokoneen. Hän kysyy vahdilta: "Voinko ottaa tämän rynnäkkökiväärin koneeseen?" "Ei, et voi." vastaa vahti. "Olen TPM:stä." sanoo Mikachu. "Oi, sitten se sopii." varmistaa vahti.

Lentomatka meni hyvin ja nyt Mikachu ottaa aseensa ja ampuu Blademasterin!

Läimäytetty.

In English:

In this story, Mikachu Yukitatsu has re-entered Finnish army. This year, it's Finland's 90th independence day, so he writes this post in Finnish.

Mikachu Yukitatsu is lost again. He had to return to the barracks to get his tent mattress he forgot to bring to the drill. But now he is walking with his assault rifle on a road to one of Finland's biggest cities, Oulu.

Mikachu notices a small piece of paper on the ground. It seems to be a printed page from some internet page. "TPM...whacking game." it reads. "What the heck. I'll whack someone!" thinks Mikachu. With the gun in his hand, he stops a car. He forces the driver top take him to Oulu. Mikachu is going ot take an aeroplane. He asks a guard: "Can I take this assault rifle with me to the plane?" "No, you can't." answers the guard. "I'm from TPM." says Mikachu. "Oh, then it's OK." confirms the guard.

Plane trip went well and now Mikachu picks his weapon and shoots Blademaster!

Whacked.

[darktyranitar]

lol at Louis' 300-influenced whack

*Speaks in random spanish words - repeatedly - until Mikachu's ears starts bleeding*

[Blademaster]

Dear darktyaritar,

You may have noticed I have not paid you your lackey fee in several weeks. This is because I have been saving your money up instead, and have used it all to buy you a magnificent gift. Since you love video games so much, here is the best console of the generation... A PS3. Enjoy.

~Your boss, Blade


Whacked... in the worst possible way a gamer can be whacked.

[Knight of Time]

Dear Blademaster,

You have been found guilty of cheating at every video game you play...especially the Super Mario games. I sentence you to get a Game Over in each of them.

Just one way of whacking a fellow Super Mario fan.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Pulls out a Master Sword and stabs Knight of Time*

A whack from one Zelda fan to another

[Blademaster]

(an irate Italian-American in a fancy business suit knocks on Mikachu's front door; as soon as he answeres, he is shot in the face)

Whacked. Literally.

[Knight of Time]

Voices are suddenly heard in the ASB world...as Blademaster's Pokemon learn of his reputation for being a Pokemon Hangman star, his own Pokemon suddenly accuse him of bragging that he's much better than everyone else at this game..

Couldn't resist to give a second whack to one of my most competitive "opponents" back in my days of playing Pokemon Hangman.

[Magmar]

*Whips out the Spiral Heart Moon Rod*

MOON SPIRAL HEART ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!

*Effectively whacks Knight of Time.*

[Blademaster]

Kyle, you're gonna die a slow and painful whacking soon... But in the meantime...

Crazy Elf Boy, meet Crazy Elf GIRL.





WHACKED.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

It's snowing here in Ylivieska today!

*casts Ice3 on Crazy Elf Boy in the middle of Australian summer*

[Crazy Elf Boy]

G'day Blademaster I got a little friend I want you to meet.



*Runs up with the giant Kangaroo*

*Knocks out Blademaster with its massive fists*

*Hops out of pouch kicks Blademaster*

*Runs away hehehehehehehehehehehehehe*

[Blademaster]

Hey, Knight of Time. Someone wants to meet you...

(the following is too graphic to describe and shall instead be replaced with this amusing image that says it all anyway)

[Knight of Time]

Sorry Blademaster, but I don't die until I die in real life, but nice try. Your name was surprising at first, but there is a REAL Blademaster here, and it's not you, it's Link, and his Master Sword!"

Whacked SOOOO good, eh my "sharp" friend?

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Noone has whacked Magmar? I don't know if you play Final Fantasy VIII, but at least you must like my voice...

*begins to sing to Magmar*

[Toxicity]

Hey Bladey. It's good to see you in this game. I hope you're just as equally happy being knocked out due to being randomly bludgeon'd by Link's Ball and Chain only to wake up being tied up in the back of a car driven by this guy.

ph-whack

[Knight of Time]

Normally, I wouldn't whack a girl in this game, but in your case, Toxicity, I'll make an exception, but it will only be my first.

There can be a first time for anything, eh Toxicity? Whacky, no?

[Blademaster]

Right, Laura is due to die a slow and horrible whacking, but first...

(writes something on his clipboard)

Next on the hit-list is Magmar, who I, in the spirit of sportsmanship, will not whack, but rather give my entire vast- BOOT TO THE HEAD.

(Magmar is promptly whacked by a flying boot)

Frantic-whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*plays Kimble (a popular Finnish board game) with shinypkmnchaser*

*eats shinypkmnchaser's piece*

Now what's more effective? Getting eaten in Kimble or seeing this awful picture I drew?

[Crazy Elf Boy]

Picks up a DS with Phantom Hourglass in it and throws it at Mikachu's face.

Then walks of rambling that the game was too short

[Blademaster]

Mikachu: ...Is that... Trouble? Yeah, that game's fucking Trouble! I love that game!

(takes the board and smashes it up with a hammer until the plastic coating is nice and jagged, then smashes it into Toxicity's face)

Whacked. It's FUN getting into Trouble...!

[Knight of Time]

CEB, I've been waiting a while for this...our rematch from that ASB battle you beat me in begins here instead of ASB...and here..."POW"..."OUCH"..."SOCK"...I win this one.

You just got whacked, my friend. Ever watch the live action Batman TV series?

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*vomits shinypkmnchaser's Kimble piece on darktyranitar*

"Disgusting!" says darktyranitar taking off the slimy piece.

"It's nothing compared to this!" says Mikachu and draws a couple of 'questionable' pictures.

Mentally whacked, again.

[Master of Paradox]

*From nowhere, a dooor appears. It opens, revealing Master of Paradox armed with a large spoon. He brings the spoon around in a wide, whistling arc, smashing Blademaster's head into his neck. The door closes, and Master of Paradox can be heard laughing behind it as it fades away.*

[darktyranitar]

*scene quickly unfold into that of Counterstrike*

Mikachu the terrorist is cornered by three counter-terrorist force. Mikachu is armed with an AK-47, Desert Eagle, and a combat knife. Each counter-terrorist force members were equipped with Carbine M4A1 rifle, Glock pistol, and a combat knife.

Instead of blasting him off the game, the counter-terrorist guys gave him one choice: surrender or die.

"Put down your weapon," one of them said.

"Okay." Mikachu threw off his AK-47, and automatically, he was equipped with the Desert Eagle pistol.

"I said all of them," the first one said, sternly.

"Alright." Mikachu threw the Desert Eagle pistol off, and he was automatically equipped with the knife.

"Last warning," the guy said, this time raising his M4A1 so that it was pointed at Mikachu's head. "I said all your weapon."

Mikachu tried to throw the knife away, but was greeted with this message:

"You can't throw away this weapon."

"What the $&(@!"

The CT force wasted no time to shoot at Mikachu, 30 round each. Needless to say, Mikachu went down like a fly.

"Counter terrorist win."

"Enemy down."

"Affirmative."

(Whacked, CS-style!)

(Yes, I admit I'm hooked to CS right now ^^;; )

[Blademaster]

Master Of Paradox has joined, eh?

(writes something down on his clipboard, then snaps his fingers...)


MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY...


(Master of Paradox hears a knock at the door; upon answering it, he finds it to be none other than Geese Howard)

"You had me play a shitty card game and LOSE to some kid. I'll stain my hands with your blood."

MoP: ...Uh...

"DEADLY RAVE!!!!!"

(Master of Paradox is promptly beaten to a pulp, then blown to ashes by Geese's energy burst)


Whacked, Fatal Fury-style.

[Toxicity]

In a recent news flash linked to an awkward coincidence, the WMD program in Iran was was finally leaked. Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad agreed to surrender all production to the United States, yet some things happened out of panic, and one last evangelion was unleashed and found itself in Oklahoma, wrecking havoc across the plains state and surrounding areas and causing many injuries, including one man whose choice of attire bears homage to a famous Pokémon character.

mr_pikachu, you have just been Neon Gene-whack'd

[Master of Paradox]

As snow falls softly in the woods, a man walks through the night without making a sound. He has no past, no present, no future... only a destiny.

That destiny is to travel many miles, across lands forgotten by time, as the years come and go. One name and one name only crosses his lips: "Darktyranitar".

Finally, one day, years after the journey begins - years that feel like millenia - the man finds whom he has sought. And the man now does what he was born to do, so long ago...

He beats Darktyranitar senseless with a broken board.

Epic-whacked, DT. Epic-whacked.

[Blademaster]

It's time to beat the shit out of someone... Knight of Time, I'd like for you to meet the Wizard of Time.













Time Roulette, go!

(the Wizard raises his staff; the arrow within it begins to spin, faster and faster, zooming over skul, skull, time warp, skull, skull, time warp... over and over... until it finally slows to a stop...

...on a skull...

...on a skull...

...on a time warp)

Yes!!!! Go, Time Warp!

"TIME... MAGIC!"

A vortex of pure spatial energy opens, blasting KoT with a relentless stream of hyperchronotrons that cause him to age, wither, decay, fossilize, and finally crumble to dust in the span of a few seconds)

Well done, Time Wizard.

(recalls the Monster, then places it back in his deck and leaves)

Time-whacked.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Picks up a large piano covered with barb wire, coated with a virulent posion*

HAHAHAHAHA TEACH you for whacking me KNIGHT OF TIME

*Drops piano which misses KOT*

*hits Mikachu*

"Eh at least I got someone"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHACKED MIKACHU

[Master of Paradox]

LOADING...

WELCOME TO THE GUIDANCE CONTROLS FOR THE MARK VII MJOLNIR ORBITAL CANNON. PLEASE SELECT A FIRING MODE.

"Single burst"

PLEASE SELECT A DELAY OPTION.

"Instant fire"

PLEASE SELECT A TARGET

"Crazy Elf Boy"

NO SUCH TARGET FOUND. PLEASE SELECT A TARGET

"CRAZY ELF BOY"

NO SUCH TARGET FOUND. PLEASE SELECT A TARGET

"THAT ******* WITH THE POINTY EARS!"

TARGET SELECTED: Crazy Elf Boy. YOU HAVE SELECTED A SINGLE BURST INSTANT FIRE ATTACK ON THE TARGET. IS THAT CORRECT?

"No"

PLEASE CHOOSE WHAT YOU WISH TO CHANGE.

"Firing mode"

PLEASE SELECT A FIRING MODE

"Repeated blast"

YOU HAVE SELECTED A REPEATED-BLAST INSTANT FIRE ATTACK ON THE TARGET "Crazy Elf Boy". IS THAT CORRECT?

"Yes"

FIRING IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

*And a sudden volley of laser blasts levels Crazy Elf Boy's home.*

Whacked from orbit!

[Knight of Time]

Ha, this is getting fun.

Blademaster, you may have a sharp personality, but how well would you fare against a tree? Let's see. I see you trying to cut it with that "blade" of yours, but little do you realize, the tree is actually petrified! So much for your blade.

Whacked, although a chainsaw could have replaced the "blade", heh heh.

[Blademaster]

Knight of Time, you just don't know when to quit, do you?

(pulls out a sword almost as big as him)

My "blade," as you put it, is a 6-foot broadsword with a laser-refined edge the width of a white blood cell and made from refined unascertanium, an alloy as hard as reinforced titanium and as light as lithium. In other words...

(swings his sword clean through the petrified tree, which falls over and crushes KoT)

...Timber-whacked.