Senator to Sue God

[MToolen]

http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Nebraska_Senator_sues_God

So, yeah. Do you think Hhe's guilty? How would you implicate Him, exactly? And how precisely would He be sentenced?

I know it's a farce, but it's still cool to hear other opinions. And I guess I'm back.

[Chris]

15 years in the fiery depths of Hell.

Reduced to 10 if he behaves, maybe.

edit: it's also pretty funny that they look like each other, before I read the article I thought he was trying to sue God for identity theft

[Weasel Overlord]

My favourite part is where it says "God could not be reached for comment".

EDIT: Also, that's silly, cos (according to the Bible) God gave humans free will, so it's not his fault what we choose to do with it. That explains the whole killing people thing, but the natural disasters, well... they're kinda natural disasters dude... not the fault of God.

... I never thought I'd stick up for God... O.o

[Greyfox]

First alimony now this!!? Poor God...

-Red

[classy_cat18]

Okay, even the atheists should find this funny. How do you sue God? He can't take the stand or anything. It's beyond ridiculous!

Hey, can I sue Santa Claus? I still don't have my Wii!

...No offense to God or the fat man.

[Weasel Overlord]

Yup, I'm an atheist and I find it hilarious. XD

[Blademaster]

Screw identity theft - that guy looks more like Morgan Freeman than Go-... Oh... Um... Never mind.

My favourite part is where it says "God could not be reached for comment".

EDIT: Also, that's silly, cos (according to the Bible) God gave humans free will, so it's not his fault what we choose to do with it. That explains the whole killing people thing, but the natural disasters, well... they're kinda natural disasters dude... not the fault of God.

... I never thought I'd stick up for God... O.o

Oh, please. According to the Bible, men could live to be 968 years old, build giant ships containing every animal on Earth by themselves, and walk on water. Besides, God's all-knowing. He knew we'd fuck up if He gave us free will, and what did He do? gave us free will.

And God made everything, remember? That includes nature. Ergo, natural disasters = God's magnifying glass on the ant that is our planet.

Man, God's a real jackass when you think about it...

[Weasel Overlord]

Blade... darling... I don't believe in God... Which is why I said according to the Bible... but hey, I'm not getting into a religious discussion, lol. S'probably not a good idea.

[Greyfox]

Regardless of whether or not God exists, it needs to be stated that, for everything good to happen, something bad must happen to counter-balance. Light cannot exist without casting a shadow, 'ya know.

-Red

[Toxicity]

By the sounds of it, this man is actually doing this only a joke to prove that anybody can sue anybody.

But this is fairly amusing nonetheless. Especially the ending comment that God could not be contacted. Although I'd say that if this were serious, I'd tell Lucifer to make the pool open again. Somebody's gonna go to Cocytus.

[Blademaster]

Blade... darling... I don't believe in God... Which is why I said according to the Bible...

OK.

(tosses that into the 'Could've been worded better' box)

but hey, I'm not getting into a religious discussion, lol. S'probably not a good idea.

This is Misc. There's a new topic. And 'God' is in the title.

Ergo, religious discussion = inevitable. Just wait until some Catholic fundamentalist dipwad waltzes in and gets offended, and there ya go.

(makes gesture of lighting a fuse)

Welcome back.

[Phoenixsong]

What the heck d'you mean, Catholic fundamentalist dipwad?! Just because I've seen the Light and the Truth of God and Jesus Christ, you think I'm a dipwad? Man, this is why it's my job to bring the faithless like you to church and shove every tiny literal interpretation of the Lord's Holy Bible up your nose so that you, too, can be Saved. Oh, and while we're at it, no more gays.

(wow that was offensive)

In other news, lol. Funny stuff. "God could not be reached for comment."

Oh, and Blade... y'might find this interesting.

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynisitic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochisitic, capriciously malevolent bully."
-Richard Dawkins

[Roy Karrde]

This guy pretty much seems like some one who starves for attention, especially from what I have read up on his past. As for how a settlement could be reached. While God cannot be sued directly, I would guess they would go after his assets like when people sue a foregn country. Meaning taking out the holdings of what ever church that worships the particular God that is being sued.

Edit: Apparently this lawsuit is in responce to a man suing a federal judge for banning the words "Rape" from the court room, saying the judge blocked the woman's right to free speach when testifying. So this nutball who apprarently has had a history of anti Christianity, decides he is going to sue God in responce to the other lawsuit. Why he would do this? I have no real idea...

[DarkTemplarZero]

God is a raptor sympathizer. This is why I personally subscribe to the cult of Pythagoreanism. Speaking of math, I sat next to Andrew Wiles during a math lecture a couple days back. I love my life.

In other words, this is pretty damn hilarious. Not sure if I like the idea of him being a senator since the lawsuit is like something you'd see in a Will Ferrell movie (brilliant idea, eh?).

[The Blue Avenger]

Edit: Apparently this lawsuit is in responce to a man suing a federal judge for banning the words "Rape" from the court room, saying the judge blocked the woman's right to free speach when testifying. So this nutball who apprarently has had a history of anti Christianity, decides he is going to sue God in responce to the other lawsuit. Why he would do this? I have no real idea...

He's making a point, about how anyone can sue anyone these days. So, when you need to make the most extreme case of that possible, go for the big man himself, I suppose.

Also, regarding your saying that he seems attention-starved, aren't all politicians attention whores as it is? P:

[Gavin Luper]

In other words, this is pretty damn hilarious. Not sure if I like the idea of him being a senator since the lawsuit is like something you'd see in a Will Ferrell movie (brilliant idea, eh?).

Try a Billy Connolly movie. Entitled "The Man Who Sued God". Made about five years or so ago. It's a pretty funny movie from memory. Might not be well known overseas, but it's been done before, at least in fiction. I suppose the motive differs, but still, Mr. Senator Man is not terribly original, is he?

The reporter being unable to contact God was pretty funny, too.

[Magmar]

Can I be God's lawyer? Pretty please?

[Asilynne]

Screw identity theft - that guy looks more like Morgan Freeman than Go-... Oh... Um... Never mind.



Oh, please. According to the Bible, men could live to be 968 years old, build giant ships containing every animal on Earth by themselves, and walk on water. Besides, God's all-knowing. He knew we'd fuck up if He gave us free will, and what did He do? gave us free will.

And God made everything, remember? That includes nature. Ergo, natural disasters = God's magnifying glass on the ant that is our planet.

Man, God's a real jackass when you think about it...

According to the bible, God took away the ability to live so long at the tower of Babel (if you want to look it up, pretty interesting part :>) Because they spent their long lives building a tower to heaven so they could "stare God in the face". That offended him because he gave them such a long like and what do they do with it? Try and stare Him down where he lives!
(I know you were joking btw XD)
And the free will. Whats better, someone who is forced to love you and do your will, or someone who willingly comes to you and does your will and loves you because they choose to? Thats what free will is all about. God didnt want a world full of slaves that had to obey His every whim, He wanted a world full of people that could choose either right or wrong, because its that much sweeter when they CHOOSE to do whats right.
And God made the world we live in, a world run by winds and water, and changed often by fire and earth. Reguardless of God making it, its a self sustaining world, ruled largly by cause and effect. Im sure God COULD step in and make something happen, but if you made an entire world full of self sustaining ecosystems, you want to watch how everything plays out too :>
But yeah its ok not to believe in God, people that go bible beating and saying your going to hell just drives people that dont believe in God even farther away. Like hey I dont go to church, or consider myself one of the denominations, and according to some christians Im probably going to hell. But I believe, and I talk to him on my own and thats all that really matters to me or to God.

But yeah Blademaster I know that whole thing was probably joking around XD I just like the opportunity to say what I think in such a lighthearted topic that hasnt gone straight to hell yet lol

I think its funny in that whole suing God thing, because by wanting to sue him, he acknowledges His existance, not sure that was his goal but lol

[Roy Karrde]

Can I be God's lawyer? Pretty please?

There is only one man that could be God's lawyer.



You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."

Denny Crane and ONLY Denny Crane could defend God and win!

[Blademaster]

According to the bible.....

Oh, Hell, no.

(hits fast-forward button)

...and thats all that really matters to me or to God.

That's honestly all I can safely say about that.

And I was joking. Just because I don't believe the Catholic God doesn't mean I don't believe in a God.

Now, back on-topic, why don't we get an atheist to be God's lawyer? If nothing else, it'd be a damn entertaining trial.

[Asilynne]

Oh, Hell, no.

(hits fast-forward button)



That's honestly all I can safely say about that.

And I was joking. Just because I don't believe the Catholic God doesn't mean I don't believe in a God.

Now, back on-topic, why don't we get an atheist to be God's lawyer? If nothing else, it'd be a damn entertaining trial.

Aw whyd you fast forward me? :< you said according to the bible too! I was actually interested on your thoughts about what I said :< and not to start a fight either, I like philosophical talk

[The Blue Avenger]

Now, back on-topic, why don't we get an atheist to be God's lawyer? If nothing else, it'd be a damn entertaining trial.

"And in conclusion, my client absolutely cannot be guilty because he does not exist!"

[Houndoom_Lover]

I'm not surprised by this at all. It's happened before (didn't read the posts above me, fovgive please, if I repeat anything). There was a case like this in PA, where a man gave a plot of land to God in his deed. But the Tax collectors wanted God to pay taxes, but God couldn't so they took God to court and reposed the propery ^-^

Edit: I beleive in God, or at least, there is something. *nods solomly* ^.^ But I tell you what, Bamg! I rack up the points on the hell chart, I do!

[SlipKnoT]

I lol'd

I hope God loses, and has to pay the guy, then lets see what happens.

The American justice system, we pwn so hard that we allow this.

[Drusilla]

What would God swear on? The Bible? And would He say, "So help Myself"?

Hmm... there'd be a big rush as a representative for all God-oriented religions pushed to have God swear on their book. Proof of favor and all that shit...

Haha, it'd be funny if they took it to court, did the swearing in, and some random big, booming voice said, "I DO."

Pretty wild stuff, there...

"...and he wants the courts to order God "to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats."" Oh, great, God's a terrorist. I guess we're going to have to go invade Heaven now and overthrow him... XP Maybe he'll hide in a cave somewhere...

[Hinoryu]

An update: http://www.comcast.net/news/index.js...20/768962.html

I want to meet whoever actually made that reply and either shake their hand for being so clever or punch them for thinking that up before I did.

[Phoenixsong]

The awesome part is how that phone number it mentions is for a law office in Corpus Christi. Lol, God's lawyers live in Texas.

[Blademaster]

HOLY FUCKING MONKEY POGO STICK, IT'S PROOF! GOD IS REAL! HE'S REALLY REAL!

(calls the number)

...

Hi, is God there?

...

God? It's Blademaster! I jus-... Hello?

[Houndoom_Lover]

Blady, everyone knows God wouldn't talk to you ^_^, you don't bleaive(sp?) in him

[Leon-IH]

This sounds very much like a Billy Connelly movie.

[Drusilla]

The awesome part is how that phone number it mentions is for a law office in Corpus Christi. Lol, God's lawyers live in Texas.

On my way home, I passed an old guy on the side of the road who was trying to hitchhike to Corpus... I should go back and ask if he's one of God's lawyers. O_o

Funny, though... Corpus Christi meaning 'body of Christ' and all. Those are some weird people down there, though. Lots of surfers.