The Naive World

[shazza]

Triggers of mundane sights and sounds and smells and thoughts zap my soul far, far away into a time anything but mundane: the deep, innocent past that is deteriorating into melancholic abyss. I am so overwhelmed - reunited with The Naive World, paradoxically engendered through my buoyant, three year old eyes. But as swiftly as this occurs, they are no more. How can subsequent deliberation get a grasp on them? It’s the adult mind trying to force its own abilities on something it will never understand.

These ideas make absolutely no sense and are foolish, but they are perhaps more profound and inspiring, whatever they were to be, than anything my adult mind will ever envision. They are mysterious, and the child’s capacity to make sense of the theme park that is the universe that he has recently bought a ticket to. With no tools of knowledge, but the wand of imagination. What associations I had for polychromatic Christmas lights and smells back in 1992? I felt them; I don’t know them.

And I lament that the inability to grasp them is increasing more while grasping this world is noticeably weakening. Is it the plethora, neon nights of smashed, ego-filled, alcohol madness killing my neurons and their relationships? Is my thinking and intelligence and capacity for memory going from great to good? The only way to shield this painful regret is obviously a lifetime of unfulfilled alcoholism. Or is it the Rat Race game as I absorb more and more adult orientated information? The only way to block the hypocrisy of this mask is to hypnotise my mind with caffeinated potions, hate the ones I love, speak sententious words, separate myself; beat the game. Or is it nothing more than inevitable age, and I must accept that the past shall inevitably disintegrate into amnesiac stardust? The only way to beat that is to keep looking at those polychromatic Christmas light with deluded hope.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

shazza posted in FanFic?!? This asks for a reply!

Actually, I have been wondering why shazza never writes anything here. And this story wasn't a disappointment. While reading, I got a picture in my mind of a Christmas feeling I went through when I myself was a very small child. That was in late 80s, and I still lived in my grandmother's house in Merijärvi.