Fellow DPian

[darktyranitar]

...Right.

31st December 2006, 04:01 AM. Remember that date? That was the day I posted Gone DP!, shortly before I was send off to National Service. (Egad! I haven’t posted any official fic or one shot for about one year already?!)

So, without further ado… here it is then: Fellow DPian – a continuation of Gone DP!


But first, let’s go through the usual intro, shall we?

It was only in late March 2007 did I get the idea to write a continuation of Gone DP! (the title remained pretty much the same since its initial process of writing), and believe me, a lot have happened in the past 12 month: I went to the National Service (that alone has a lot to talk about), I entered college, and was then elected as the moderator of fanfic board, etc… but, enough about me.


Almost one year has passed, and we can see, fics that are based on TPM are not new… Right, so this would be another one of those fics that are based on TPMers, alongside the massively popular and awesome TPML, the unique, weird-but-hilarious A Fast Paced Fic, and the creative, one of a kind War of the Forums (make that three, if you want to include The Misadventures of Charles Legend and Rapagania as well).

Happy reading then (And to those who I had asked if I could feature them in this one shot: sorry it took so long; I was lazy then, ehehe).


Disclaimer: I do not claim any of the ideas in this one shot as a so-called ‘original idea’; they are written based on observations, studies, and at times, shameless copypasta-ing. Credit(s) goes to (insert any names you see fit… and that may includes YOU as well) for the original idea/words.

(The banner for this one shot is already planned… but sadly, it isn’t finished at the time being. Sorry for that ^^;; )


(P/S: I STILL haven’t played the DP game, even though nearly one year has passed since then ^^;; )

Table of Content:


Gone DP!
(Oh nose!)



Fellow DPian
(With humans and some other stuffs as well)

Conspiracy theorists: the theories brought up by these groups are said to depend on circumstantial evidence, facts without analysis or documentation, quotes taken out of context and the scattered testimony of traumatized eyewitnesses. The people who uphold such belief enjoy continued popularity due to the fact that the idea that there is a malevolent controlling force orchestrating global events is, in a perverse way, comforting. It was concluded that conspiracy theories are part of the process by which the people deal with traumatic public events and constitute an ideal form of national mourning over such a terrible tragedy.

~Edited from an article from Wikipedia.com

But what if these so-called ‘conspiracy theories’ are in fact the truth?


It was early morning in the airstrip of Vermillion City. An Umbreon that goes by the name of The Arbiter was boarding the plane; it was soon evident that he would be the only passenger on board, and he was not surprised at all. Since this was the cheapest airline that he could find – far cheaper from what he saw offered by other airline company – he had already braced himself for the worst: should things starts to look bleak, he’ll run off as quickly as possible.

The vehicle that was to take him airborne was old fashioned propelled powered plane – a DC-7B, a model that once saw its glory in the commercial airlines – that was still in decent shape, much to his suspicion. When the others were not watching, he kicked the plane – as hard as he could – and he was glad to find that the plane still remained in its current state. Still, that didn’t mean that the interior was as well maintained as the exterior. Therefore, when he was aboard, he glanced around swiftly: the seats appeared to be in good shape, the floors were sturdy enough to hold him, and the flight crew looked reliable enough. That put him slightly at ease.

Only one thing bothered him though. If the plane was in decent shape and the fare was cheap, then how come no one else had bothered to board the plane? Or could it be that propeller-powered aircraft was a thing of a past, something that only the member on the lower part of the society would take (such as himself, for example)?

Maybe… maybe I should stop thinking too much and just chill out he told himself as he took a seat – the air stewardess didn’t seemed to mind which seat he took, since there wasn’t any other passenger anyway.

As soon as he settled down, a voice was heard on the speaker – it was the pilot, he presumed - informing that it was going to be a rough ride, what with the storm coming and all, but it was nothing to worry about. It would have been a brief speech, had the speaker not went on for another half an hour, (assumingly) repeating the same speech in about twenty different language or so – The Arbiter lost count at twenty one, for he could barely stay awake by that time.

Only when he woke up ten minutes later did the airplane began to ascend.


Meanwhile…

Someplace else, where the humans roam the land…

A soldier came barging into the General’s quarter, face looking flustered and panicked. He was about to speak when he remembered to give the general a proper saluting, and asked for the permission to speak. The general returned the salute, and gave him the permission to speak.

“Sir! It appears that someone had just stolen our tank at 0645, sir!”

“Jesus on a friggin’ Harvey Motorbike…” The General went on with a further list of explicit words. “Just when I turn my ass the other way, you lost us a tank!” The soldier almost squirmed under the intense staring of the general. “Now, I assume the team is already on the track of locating the tank?”

“Yes, sir. They viewed the tape… and the tank…” He paused. “It just… it… was gone just like that, sir.”

The General went with a longer list of obscene words. Finally, when he settled down, he said, firmly, “I want you to find the whereabouts of the tank NOW, you hear me? Whatever it takes; we can’t go around losing any tanks. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”

“Yes sir!”

* * * * *

It was twenty five minutes after their departure that the pilot announced that they have just crossed the Kanto border, and was now in the Johto region. The Arbiter was currently writing an entry in his journal, giving a detailed account on the recent event starting yesterday – where he could barely sleep due to the anxiety and excitement of boarding his first airplane trip – until now.

As he was busy writing, an air stewardess came to him with what appeared to be a trolley normally found in a hospital. “Coffee, sir?” The air stewardess offered him a pack of three in one instant coffee, along with a cup and a thermos. The Arbiter politely declined, as he continued writing in his journal. When the air stewardess was out of sight, he jotted this down:

“True, the plane appears to be safe and in tip-top shape, but the same cannot be said for the in-flight service – that is to say that they are not so costumer friendly, and not to mention very outdated. But still, you have to give credit for the good looking ladies though.”

He closed his journal as he noticed the headphone beside his seat. Oh, good… at least there’s still the in-flight music… I hope it works, though he thought. Making himself as comfortable as possible in his seat, he plugged the headphone on, and he was glad to be welcomed with music.

Where do we go from here?
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now when I need you?
Alone on an aeroplane
Falling asleep against the window pane
My blood will thicken…

He sighed upon realizing what was the song that was now being played – it was not that he was against rock music, but after a long restless night waiting in anticipation for this trip, he would be most happy for a dose of humour from, say, Weird Al Yankovic, or Outkast. Alas, he gets Radiohead instead…

It did not take long for him to fall asleep against the window pane, as the plane continued to head towards Shinou. It was going to be a long flight, and he slept his way through the flight.

* * * * *

Mega Horny the Mister Potato Head look-alike blinked, as he saw… no, felt something smooth and sticky waving in front of him… It was pink, elastic, and long… and it was moist as well. Which could only mean that….

“Sorry, man?” he asked. He could see that Blade’s mouth was moving, but he could barely make out the words.

Blade leaned closer. “I said… are YOU OKAY?” This time, the words came to him like a rush of waterfall, and it wasn’t very pleasant at all.

“Yeah, dude. Of course I’m okay. Why would I not be okay?” Mega Horny asked, irritated. The Nosepass family doesn’t like it when people treat them as if they were deaf (their ears were there, although barely visible), but this was not the case he was annoyed: it was the look that Blademaster was giving him that annoyed MH the most.

“Oh, okay… if you say so, MH.” Blademaster said, retracing his tongue before he then stepped upon the gas.

In the past few minutes, after a short beating up that consist of Crystal Tears and Mega Horny against DarkTyranitar, they finally came to a mutual, unspoken agreement that Mega Horny was now to be referred as MH.

(It was like this:

“Hey, MH. Sorry about it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever, Darkie.”

And they went on with MH all the way.)


“So Blade… Where do we go from here?” MH asked after he felt that Blademaster actually had no idea where he was going. It was already half an hour, and they were still stuck in the plain ol’ country road.

Blademaster gave a ‘oh, right; I forgot about that’ look and passed MH a map, using his tongue as a mean to move the map. “Oh, right. I forgot about that,” he said. “Here. See if there’s any shop nearby.”

“Why, is the van out of gas or something?” MH asked, fumbling with the saliva drenched map.

“Nah. It’s just that I feel like having some cokes. And while you’re at it, gimme some mentos too!” Blademaster shivered; it was a coke junkie shiver. “Hey, what’s taking you so long, huh MH… hey, what’s with that look…?”

“Blade…” MH said, dropping the map on the floor. “Isn’t it easier if we used the GPS system there?” He pointed at the glowing device that was positioned on the dashboard in front of him.

Blademaster stared long and hard at the device, and eventually said “…”

“???” DarkTyranitar asked.

“!!!” MH remarked.


“Okay, we’ll be reaching the shop in… ten more feet…” MH said, his eyes glued on the GPS.

“Yeah… you can stop looking at the thing now, dude,” Blademaster said, slowing down the van until it came to a halt. “Okay guys, we’re here!” he announced, where they then quickly got out – the fresh air was a nice change after hours being stuck in the cramped and stinky interior of the van.

The shop looked like any typical shop you could find in the Shinou region, but since they were still new to the region, then the concept of the shop is unfamiliar to them: the shop was more like a wooden cottage rather than a shop (and they even have the ‘welcome’ mat on the front door too). Which means no cheap doors, cheap windows, or cheapskates – everything appears to be of high class.

A few seconds after they got out, DarkTyranitar went behind some bushes, soon followed with the sound akin to one throwing up.

“Ugh. Sorry,” he said dazedly upon his return. “I was… umm, van sick, I suppose…”

“Vans only? Are you sure” Hyperness is a Good Thing asked.

“Yeah… I dunno why… I’m fine with car. And ferries, and planes… dunno about roller coaster thought… Or, it could have been those skunks…”

As the others made their way towards the shop, DarkTyranitar stayed where he was, eyeing the building with suspicion. “I dunno…” he finally said, after everyone stared at him impatiently, hoping for some kind of explanation for his reluctance to go into the shop. “I hope this ain’t one of those shops that eat people… have you heard the story of a Pokemon Center that was closed down, and then changed into a shop? And the people who shopped there never returned to tell the tale…”

“Dark,” Crystal Tears interjected, as everyone else sighed. “There is no shop that can eat people.”

“Yes, that’s what everyone says. Just like how they say that…” At this point, everyone continued walking, ignoring DarkTyranitar completely. When DarkTyranitar starts talking trash, it’d be best to leave him alone.

DarkTyranitar meekly followed only after he realized that he was now left talking to himself. Everyone had stopped before the door – which was closed, and had a note plastered on it.

“Okay… so is this shop open or not?” Hyperness is a Good Thing went closer and checked the note at the door. “The Bends,” she read aloud. “Ask, and ye shall receive (otherwise known as the RBC shop). Open every day – including weekends!”

“The name rings a bell… Now where have I heard of it again…” DarkTyranitar muttered as he tried to recall the details. Everyone else shrugged.

“Maybe they’re closed at this time of the day?” Hinata suggested; it was plausible, based on the absence of activity around the shop.

“Nah, the door’s not locked,” Blademaster said, pushing the door open. He went inside first, followed closely by the others. It appears that the shop was really open: a television was turned on, as well as the fans and the lights. On the counter, there was a half-eaten chocolate cake.

“Besides,” Blade continued. “Even if they do, it—”

DarkTyranitar raised one (magnet) hand up, indicating them to halt in their path. “Shh...” Everyone shrugged and stayed quiet as he scouted along the wall. He returned a moment later. “Sector clear,” he said, and motioned for the others to follow. Five seconds later, he raised his hand again to indicate everyone to halt in their path. MH and Blademaster shot an annoyed look, but they said nothing.

“Hold this position.” He went forward, where he then peered hard at the wall. To their surprise, he let out a gasp, teetered backward, as his face became as white as sheet.

“Well?” Blademaster asked and pulled DarkTyranitar up and peered through him like he was a binocular. To their surprise, he also let out a gasp, teetered backward, as his face became as white as sheet well.

“Well?” Mega Horny asked, and pulled DarkTyranitar up and peered through him like he was a binocular…

And the same goes for Hyperness is a Good Thing and Crystal Tears, until it was Hinata’s turn. She quickly resist the urge to see what it was, and – covering both eyes with her paws – began to chant “I’m not looking, I’m not looking, I’m not looking…” over and over, as the faces of the rest of the group were stuck in similar façade…


A Raichu walked into the room, holding a broom in her paws. She was humming a tune under her breath, her hands moving back and fro – there wasn’t really any need for sweeping, really, since the floor of the shop rarely gets any dust on it; but somehow, she felt that she had been lazy for quite some time now.

The broom then brushed against something hard, and immovable. She scratched her head, turned on the light – for the hallway’s light was turned off- and she instantly dropped the broom upon finding six Pokemon standing on the hallway, a blank look on their face (except for one, who was muttering to herself).

She looked towards the direction that they were looking – it was his room, there was no doubt about it – and she sighed, as she immediately knew what she should do then.

“Right…” She went behind the counter, and returned later with a large, old fashioned stereo, as well as a brand new (but old fashioned) cassette that had a few Arabic characters embedded on its cover. With a quick precise moment, she inserted the cassette, and hit the play button.

It didn’t take long for their feet to start shaking, and their whole body rocking along to the song. She knew that they were then all right.

…well… not exactly all right, since they now found that it was hard to stop themselves from moving their body along with the song. It was as if the beats of the song possessed them, moving their body according to its own will.

“Music. A whole lot of music. Of every genre, even classical and anime. Sooner or later, that block will crumble, either from inspiration or the sheer volume of your stereo.” The Raichu smiled, as she – along with the others – danced along to the song (although, for the others, it was purely an involuntary act). “Well, that’s the effect of music in destroying writer’s block… but, what do you know, it work well in therapy as well.”

“…yeah. Now – ouch! – if you don’t mi – oww! – turn off the – gaahh – wayzio, vill ya? (radio, will ya?)” Blademaster said, his teeth grinding against his tongue.


Oh my god what have I done? (Do it again)
All I wanted was a little fun (Do it again)
Got a brain like bubble gum (Do it again)
Blowing up my cranium (Do it again)

The last body-rocking-and-bum-shaking faded out as the Raichu turned off the radio – much to everyone’s relief. The group were now seated, trying very hard not to recall what they had just witnessed.

“Now THAT is what you don’t see everyday…” DarkTyranitar shuddered. Everyone else gave him an ‘oh shi- don’t remind me of that!’ look, and he was smart enough to bring the subject again (for now, anyway). Fortunately, they were doing quite well in recovering; a person’s mind has the occasional awesome power in erasing images of things they don’t want to remember – unless if someone then conveniently reminded them the said ‘need to forget’ thing. Hinata, meanwhile, was furiously munching on some 4-chan kandies bars.

“So…” The Raichu placed her paw on the – strangely enough – dusty counter, sliding from one end of the counter until she was facing the crowd, and thus cleaning the counter in the process (there was a wheeled stool down the counter). She swiped her paw on a rag, beamed a smile, and began, “This is the The Bends – also known as the R&C shop, a (former) joint venture with the Overlord from Britannia. This is the only shop you’ll find in the vicinity for the next 300 miles: we sell everything from food, to video games, to books, and – if you’re interested – protection. One of our most hot items on sale is the anime DVD – it is so popular that they held record of selling out in 30 seconds. We’re out of today’s stock, by the way. Oh, and you can find books too – novel, history, literature, yao – I mean manga – and… well… stuffs, really.”

MH let out a low whistle.

“Oh, cool!” DarkTyranitar exclaimed. “Well, you don’t suppose you have any MANPADS then, um…” he tried to look for some sort of nametag on the Raichum but found none. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?”

“Classycat,” the Raichu said, receiving a handful of eyebrows arching (to those who can). “Well… it’s kinda a long story, so…” She cleared her throat. “Right. Right. Yeah, I think there’s a whole load of them behind,” she said, pointing to a load of crates lying behind some shelves; she assumed that it was some kind of a computer part that DarkTyranitar was inquiring.

“Who’s the other guy in the room there?” MH asked.

Classycat shuffled embarrassedly. “Oh, he’s my helper—”

“Business partner!” a voice called out from the depth of his room. Classycat just shrugged.

“And, what is he?” DarkTyranitar asked, and Classycat gave him a look as if he was asking which planet are they on right now. “Um… I meant, what is his name, as well as what species he belongs to… umm, yeah.”

“Oh, he’s Roy Karrde, and he’s a Luxray… don’t mind him, he’s actually quite nice, once you get to know him.” Classycat sighed. “Mind you, he has quite an… interesting hobby… anyway, what’s up?”

Blademaster’s face beamed. “I want some coke! Dark wants… something… yada yada for the other guys. Anyway, the name’s Blademaster.” He does some mock Sword Dance movement, and then pointed at DarkTyranitar. “DarkTyranitar.” (Classycat returned DarkTyranitar the look that he gave to her upon her mentioning of her name) His fingers then went to point towards the rest of the group. “MH, Hyperness is a Good Thing (otherwise known as Hypes), Crystal Tears and Hinata.” He sniffed his hands. “And uh… we don’t stink, right?”

Classycat shrugged. “Doesn’t seems – or smell – so to me.”

“You hear that? I don’t stink,” MH said from the back.

“Uh-oh,” DarkTyranitar said, receiving him a stare or two from the rest of the group.

The Raichu blinked, noting DarkTyranitar’s subtle stench and thus reminding herself not to have a direct contact with him. She looked at the grinning Blademaster. Well… he’ll do then.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Classy smiled, extending a hand toward Blademaster. He went forward and shook her hand, but then noticed that the Raichu was grinning. Before he could guess what she was up to, she sends a low amount of electricity through her hand, causing Blademaster’s hair to stand up on their end.

“Should have remembered that old trick,” he mumbled, but then brightened up. “Anyway… coke? I sure could use some!” Blademaster said excitedly. “Hold that thought… get me a crate – you hear that right, sis! – and pronto!”

She returned three minutes later – after all, it’s not easy to carry a crate of coca cola from the storeroom all by herself. This guy is nut she thought to herself, as she watched Blademaster gulping down the can one by one, with barely a moment pause between them. “Anything else? I recommend you get them while you’re still here; you won’t find another shop in the next 300 miles, remember that.”

“Got Mentos?” Blademaster asked after his sixth can.

“Sold out, unfortunately, to a bunch of Skuntank in a van.”

“And I wonder why their breath seems somewhat… mentos-ish,” Blademaster recalled the time he was in the van. “Still, they sure could some deodorant.” He paused, and gulped down his eight can.

“Say classy-rat-ta-cat… wanna go out on a date with me?” MH asked, winking playfully. Classycat just blinked, and after realizing that the silence meant a definite ‘hell no’, MH went off to look around the shop. “So much for ‘ask, and ye shall receive’…” he mumbled as he went off.

Classycat turned her attention towards the rest of the group. “How about you guys?”

“We’ll just look around,” DarkTyranitar and Hyperness is a Good Thing said in unison. “See if there’s anything good,” they said, once again in unison. Hyperness raised a grassy eyebrow, and went off, followed closely with DarkTyranitar.

“Gimme some aspirin, please…” Crystal Tears muttered, her head slumped on a table. “And while you’re at it, I’ll have some coffee too.”

Classycat went to get the coffee machine running, and returned shortly to find Hinata, who had just finished the last bar of 4-chan kandies bar, now having her head slumped on the counter. She looked somehow depressed, despite the tremendous amount of 4-chan kandies bar that she had just consumed.

“Want me to get more of the candy bar?” She asked helpfully.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Hinata replied nonchalantly. Just as Classycat was about to get the candy bar, Hinata got up and began to speak, “I am just pondering over this whole DPian matter. From what we have seen, it is clear that Charles Legend, Chris 2.0, and the rest of their associate take themselves as the ‘elitist’, isn’t it? It’s evident in their act; resorting to threat, violence, and their ‘better than you’ attitude.”

Classycat gave her a polite blank look, wondering whether the speech was addressed towards her or not.

Hinata continued, “So, all of us here are DPian – or at least that’s what they call themselves – that evolved from the first three generation – except you, being a first generation. And I suppose Roy Karrde is a DPian himself, because I don’t think I saw any Pokemon from the first three generation that bear similarities to what would be his pre-evolution. What I wanted to say is... why do we need to resort to such labels?”

“Labels?” Classycat asked, utterly clueless.

“What she’s saying,” Crystal Tears said, now a lot calmer after taking the aspirins. “Is that it has been a long day for us… and we would greatly appreciate not having any more idiots who think highly of themselves to be chasing us, thank you.”

Classycat snapped her finger. “Okay. Gotcha.” She then scratched her head, as something just came into her mind. It was something important... something she heard the other day.

“Hey, Roy,” she called out. There wasn’t any answer. “Hey, Roy!” she raised her voice, nearly causing Crystal Tears to spill her coffee.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold on for a bit…” comes the reply, promptly followed with the sound of keyboard being furiously typed.

“Didn’t you just say something about DP the other day?”

Roy Karrde gave a groan. “Okay, okay. I’m coming...” There was the sound of items being rummaged, and Roy Karrde emerged from his room about five minutes later, carrying what looked like a Kanto region Pokedex, except that this one was pink in colour. According to Classycat, Roy Karrde was a Luxray, and this is what he looked like: on first sight, his look gave a slight resemblance to that of a Manectric, except that his fur stood out in spikes, and was black with streak of blue here and there. His tail was long and thin, with a star-shaped cluster of hair on its rear. His face suggested that he was somehow something to be feared of (in other word, mean and lean).

So, in conclusion, he is a lion.

“Jesus Christ it’s a lion!” Hinata exclaimed upon the sight of Roy Karrde – it appeared that she had just had her share of another 4-chan kandies bar. “Everyone get into the car!”

This was followed by a confused silence. “Well… there’s no car, but there’s a van, though…” DarkTyranitar said after a while.

Roy Karrde gave a discreet coughing. “Errr… anyway, some guy gave this to me the other day… has all the data on the DPese, it seems.”

“DPese?” Blademaster asked – he had now finished all thirty cans of coke. “I thought they – we – are called DPian.”

“Nah, man. We are DPese.”

“DPian.”

“DPian.” Crystal Tears and Hinata said in unison.

Roy Karrde shrugged. “I’m telling you – I’m positively sure they are called DPese, but that’s okay, now’s not the time for debate, right? Not that you’re right, anyway…” he murmured the last part. “Anyway, you guys wanna check it out?”

“Sure!” Blademaster said excitedly. “Now, what am I called? Lickycurl? Lickyplump?”

“Lesse…” Roy Karrde pushed a few button, and the screen was then filled with various pictures of foreign Pokemon that Blademaster haven’t seen before. There were some that looked awfully familiar, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. It took him about five minutes to find what he needed. “Here you are…” Roy Karrde pointed at a sketch that depicts something that look like a Lickitung, except that it was plumper and has a curl on top of his head.

“You’re a Lickilicky.”

Blademaster forehead wrinkled as Classycat, Hinata and Crystal Tears tried to stifle their laughter. “Hah, bet you can’t say that 5 times faster!” Blade shouted, and to proof his point, he began. “Lickilickylickilickyklickyklicky-likikikilillili…”

“Err, what is Blade chattering about?” Hyperness is a Good Thing asked, emerging with a few pack of candy bar, and a trolley filled with two sack of rice, a sack of potato, and a few pack of chop suey and kuey teow (both of them a Chinese delicacy). And a lot of air freshener and cologne as well.

“His species, I think?” DarkTyranitar suggested. On top of him, packs of identical candy bar, instant-tea packs, and boxes of various random paraphernalia were floating – for a second ago, anyway, until he had overheard of Blade’s name revelation. He was now struggling to lift the items with his psychic power, which proof to be quite a demanding task.

“All right… lemme check the name for the rest of you…” Roy Karrde said, pushing the buttons rapidly. “Nosepass evo…Tangela evo… Eevee’s grass evo… Magneton evo… Rhydon evo…”

“Oh, so it’s all about giving names,” MH said, who was just done with taking a look around the shop. “I’ve figured it out, man. I’m probably called a Nosetache… or something like that.”

“Actually, you’re a Probopass,” Roy Karrde corrected.

“Yeah? Cool. I rock, heh,” MH chuckled.

Roy Karrde went on. “DarkTyranitar is a Magnezone, Hyperness is a Good Thing is a Tangrowth, Crystal Tears is a Rhyperior and Hinata is a Leafeon.”

“Alright,” DarkTyranitar said impassively.

“Okay,” Hyperness is a Good Thing said.

“Yeah. Okay.” Crystal Tears said nonchalantly; she was tremendously enjoying her dark, sweet, and lava-hot coffee, so didn’t really mind of her name – for the time being.

“I figured I’d be either Planteon or Grasseon,” Hinata said, but then managed a small smile. “But Leafeon works too.”

“Okay, now, if you’ll excuse me.” Roy Karrde threw the pseudo-Pokedex into the depth of his room, where it landed with clink, before it made a small exploding sound. “I have some business to attend…” Without the other’s knowledge, DarkTyranitar peeked on what was on the computer – he was glad it was not the same thing that he had witnessed earlier – and he mentally shook his head over what he saw.

And just when things were turning out quite well, someone just had to ruin it… One might be earlier warned that DarkTyranitar has a bad habit of bringing past event up. He was not someone to forget things so easily.

Such as now, for example.

DarkTyranitar sniggered, catching the attentions of the others. “Hehe Roy... you like to RP as a girl, huh?”

“Heyyy, that’s slandering,” he said, apparently quite offended at the remark. “I do role play as boy too, you know…”

“Girls? I don’t know about that…” Hinata went sipping on another 4-chan kandies bar. “But I’d pick annoying doll over annoying little girl anyway, desu.”

“Well…” DarkTyranitar paused, searching for the right word. “Who knows loli?”

Hinata gave a nod of approval. She turned the candy bar cover over and showed it for others to see: the case showed a picture of a bear, who was standing on two feet, with a smile on its face. “Warning for some crazy content, but Roy Karrde’s twin brother is spotted...”

“What’s a loli?” Blademaster asked. DarkTyranitar told him what it was. “Oh,” was all that he said. Roy Karrde, meanwhile was staring at the bear on the candy bar cover, wondering what the heck that thing was.

“Err…” Hyperness is a Good Thing sweatdropped, trying to keep a straight face. Crystal Tears gave a grunt, and sipped her coffee.

“I DO NOT PLAY AS A LOLI!” Roy Karrde shouted, and it would have appeared as something quite intimidating, had he did not went further with “Meanies! BAWWW!”

Blademaster’s face suddenly went red with anger for apparently no reason. “I swear to God,” he said, in O’Hagan’s (from Super Troopers) voice. “I’ll pistol whip the next guy who says loli!”


Role play is something very popular nowadays, most notable in the popularity of RPG in the video games industry (not to be confused with the Russian anti-tank weapon – the Rocket Propelled Grenade, or the Ruchnoy Protivotankovy Granatomyot in its Russian acronym – which is an equally big hit among terrorists and gangs worldwide).

As Wikipedia.com puts it, participants adopt and act out the role of characters, or parts, that may have personalities, motivations, and backgrounds different from their own in roleplaying. Roleplaying is like being in an improvisational drama or free-form theatre, in which the participants are the actors who are playing parts, and the audience.

It is also not uncommon for players to form personal attachments or friendships with the player that they roleplay with.


“Is he all right?” Classycat asked worriedly, as they hauled the manic Blademaster into the van. This all happened after Roy denied of his constant loli-role playing.

(Roy Karrde: Don’t listen to him, Blade. I swear to God I don’t play as lolis.
Blademaster: … *break into fit*)

It was a shame that Blademaster didn’t have any gun with him though – that would be entertaining to watch. Stupidity aside, they knew well that Roy’s remark was not the (sole) reason why Blade had became like this.

“Bugger ‘em, bloody idiots. Bugger, bugger ‘em,” DarkTyranitar mumbled; madness was certainly contagious. “Can you drive, Hypes? I haven’t got my driving license yet… plus, I’m kinda nervous behind the steering wheels... bugger ‘em, bugger ‘em…”

“Okies-dokies!” Hyperness is a Good Thing said cheerfully, as Blademaster sang ‘Do The Mario’, dancing along to the tune.

There was some grumbling from the back – the already small space was now filled with boxes and sacks, and they were not too happy about it. Hyperness is a Good Thing was glad that she was driving this time.

“See you later, guys!” Classycat called out just as the van started to move.

“Bye-bye!” Hyperness is a Good Thing waved with briefly, although not without some sense of urgency. When she was sure that they were out of their sight, she stepped into the gas – although she was careful not to go over 60 kilometres per hour (that’s 37.3 miles to you non-metric users).

“Nice people,” Roy Karrde said after the van was had gone over a junction, and was then out of sight.

“That MH guy is kinda fishy though,” Classycat said, making a face. “And speaking of which, I wonder what MH stands for?...” She pursed her lip. “Probably best not to think of it… Okay, let’s get back to work then… oh, and Roy?”

“Yeah?”

“How about a change of style? You’re experience in creative writing, aren’t you? Think of something new then. Emancipation! Expectation! Revolution! And… oh, I don’t know. It’s getting plain repetitive, and you know it. And besides, think about those-” She sighed. “That have either end up with bleeding eyes or deranged mind – it’s a good thing I was around when it happened this time.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that the Magnesone has x-ray vision. Serve them right for intruding my privacy.” Roy Karrde shrugged. “Although… if I find him peeking at me again, I’ll be sure to stab him in the eyes. Or something.” He thrust an imaginary knife in the air. “BOOYA! Because I am EVER VIGILANT!”

Classycat blinked. ”Is it me, or did he just referred to DarkTyranitar as Magnesone? She mentally shook her head. “On the other hand… a day off isn’t a bad idea; we haven’t had much costumers in the past one week anyway.” She began to walk towards her room. “Anyway, I wonder where-” She stopped in her track, as a box of bleach suddenly fell from a hole on the ceiling above, followed closely by an orange-ish figure… and more boxes of bleach.

Classycat winced with sympathy. “Ouch... hey, you’re okay?” She went over cautiously, inspecting the figure that was slowly rising up from the heap of bleach boxes.

“OHMYGOD BLEACH! I GOT BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH! Yay!” The figure – a Growlithe – leapt up among the cluster of boxes, almost as if it –she, actually – was high on sugar. That was quite bizarre, since a normal person does not usually get excited over boxes of bleach.

A closer observation will show that it turns out that there’s a heap of Bleach DVD among the bleach boxes. Free Bleach DVD – from the newest episodes too – for a purchase of ten box of bleach: talk about desperation…

“Whee!” Roy Karrde grinned, running towards the Growlithe with his paws held out. “You’re back! The magnificent, beautiful… wonderful…”

The Growlithe stopped jumping, effectively managing to avoid being tackled by Roy Karrde. She sweatdropped, as does Classycat. “That… was quite creepy, Roy.”

“Well, I missed ya!”

“…it… has only been an hour, you know…”

* * * * *

Chris 2.0 was quite fine, actually. Even after he was beaten badly until he was close to death by some Probopass, and even after he had just received an annoying phone call that was quite sickening (and no, it was not from the telemarketers).

He had just sat down after he had the bruises treated when the phone at his table rang. It was very unusual to get phone call nowadays; they don’t call this place the DP Secret HQ for nothing. It might be someone from the higher administration then. But, surely they couldn’t have heard of his recent loss at the base this fast…

“Hello, DP Secret HQ. Location: Always Secret. Chris 2.0, Chief of HQ.” He waited as the line remained silent. Ten seconds passed, and the line still remained silent. “Hello, may I-”

The person at the other end of the line spoke something in a foreign language – that, to him, sounded like something like Finnish or Dutch – before ending with a very serious English swearing word that Chris had known (It was six words, starting with W and ending with R). Before Chris could say anything in retaliation, the line went dead.

Then again, there’s always the prankster... Right, he had almost forgotten about them. He hasn’t heard anything from them for a very long time already, that he nearly missed them…

Chris 2.0 has received lots of prank call before. But this was certainly not the work of his peer or his superiors… or just some mere pranksters, come to think of it. Most phone call usually goes with “Hey Chris 2.0, you suck!” or “You’re Chris 2.0, eh? You suck!”

This is certainly not them… there’s a slim chance that it might be Oz, but usually, he would have said something more significant. Say, maybe “OMGFUCKMEI’MFAMOUS!!!!1111”

He turned his attention towards the map of the Shinou region, pinned neatly on his desk. He took note of the markings on the map; so far, the orientation week was going good. They got almost all the stuff cleared up. Well… except for those that are originally from overseas; those bugger; they never understand how significant this is all about. Like the Mega Horny case; why did he have to resort to unnecessary violence?

In any case, the Blademaster ‘interviewing’ event was originally not his idea… True, it was he that called off the shot, but only after Charles Legend passed him a can of banana daiquiris, mistaking it for an orange juice. Charles, being a fan of movies, fanfictions and anime he was, suggested that Chris might want to try a brand new way of getting to know the new DPians more intimately. After all, not many gets to live through their own written story, do they?

Chris 2.0 made a mental note that he should apologize to Blademaster once he got the chance – and while at it, bringing along Charles as well – and let the Lickilicky punch the Lucario or something.

What he need when all of this bollocks was done was a nice period of doing absolutely nothing at home. He would plop down in front of the telly, and never to get up again until his mum would come in screaming.

He dialled the number to his house. A few minutes passed before the answering machine picked up the call.

“Hi! If you are getting this message, it means that I’m off doing something else…” Chris 2.0 crossed his legs as he waited for the next part – the best part.

“Leave a message after the beep. And if that is you, Chris… well, pray that I’m not cooking when I pick this up… Beep beep!”

Chris 2.0 rested his chin on one of his palm. “Um… hi mum,” he said, choosing his words with care. “It’s Chris… and, I’ll be coming back home tomorrow… Yes, mum, I’m finally quitting this job, just like you wanted, okay? I’ll promise I’ll help you at home. Um… bye mum. See you tomorrow, then.”

Before Chris 2.0 could put the phone down, he heard a whooshing sound at the other end of the line, followed with an ear piercing screech that end abruptly with the crackle of static. He sagged with relief; that would mean that all’s well at house, then. Ah, those good old days…

Slowly, he began to doze off; he was already making plans on what he would do once he got home. The first thing that he would do is to duck as soon as he opens the door – this was to avoid the frying pan that his mum would be throwing after she had realized that her son has finally returned home.

Then, without any prior warning, Charles Legend came barging into the office, guns blazing (really, he has guns in his paws; it was two wicked looking Desert Eagle). In addition to the guns, Charles Legend was donned in a red jacket, dark trousers, boots, and gloves. Charles Legend was also wearing small, orange-tinged glasses over the bridge of his nose, and he had shape his hairstyle to that of spiky. The only thing that separates him from lame and cool was the bandage around his forehead.

“Hey Chris, I –” Charles’s paws clumsily struck the trigger, sending a bullet that ricocheted around the room – amazingly managing to not hit anything beside the wall – before it hit him on his chest, dead on. Chris 2.0 nearly jumped up from his seat, but he stayed at ease when he noticed something.

Charles Legend blinked, and took out a doughnut which now has a bullet in it. “Darn. There goes my point-” His paws clumsily struck the trigger again, and the bullet was send ricocheting across the room again.

Chris 2.0, bored, decided to play along and let his eyes follow the movement of the bullet. “Too slow,” he yawned, and with a snap of his finger, the bullet froze in midair.

Before Chris 2.0 could demand for the silliness to stop, Charles Legend stood up with confidence and fired one deadly (in)accurate shot that then struck a metal pipe. There was the sound of the bullet clashing against the metal, and both Charles Legend and Chris 2.0 watched as the bullet zinged through the pipe, before it came out from another pipe, where it then hit Charles Legend on his forehead, point blank.

“Headshot!” Charles Legend exclaimed as his cut opened up to form a heavy bleeding. He impressively managed to run out of the room to show others his prowess to the others, but logic kicked in, and he fell unconscious on the floor.

A Piplup that was passing took one look at the unconscious Charles Legend, and taking out a chalk, it drew an outline around Charles Legend’s body. It then began taking pictures with its Polaroid camera.

“Sieg-heil Hitler!” it chirped. Or it might as well have been “Please kill Hitler!” or “Piplup-Piplup!”; it’s quite hard to tell. Chris 2.0 shrugged, slowly sipping his cold cocoa. It was said that even the hottest lava will turn into ice slush if Chris 2.0 desired it.

“Look at him,” he said to the dumbfounded Ricky, who was only standing near the door, watching the whole commotion with barely a word. “First it was Dragon Master, and then it was becoming a scientist. Then he was into boxing…”

“I think you meant wrestling, boss?” Ricky suggested. “Um… Dude Love and Mister Kennedy, boss; he loves those guys.”

Chris 2.0 blinked. “Yeah, them… then there was the pirate deal… and now he wants to be…” Chris 2.0 searched for the name. “Stash the Vampede?”

“Vash the Stampede, boss.”

“Yeah…” he waved his hand vaguely. “Always becoming this and that; I’m surprised he hasn’t claimed that he is actually a superhero that is destined to save the world.”

“Actually,” Ricky began, grinning. “He already did that when he was 3, boss.”

Chris 2.0 leaned closer. A laugh or two wouldn’t hurt. “Oh really? So what happened then?”

“Well… you know about the incident at the Saffron City few years back, boss?”

“The big explosion at the gym?”

“That one, boss. Mm… well, on a field trip to the gym, he sneaked off, where he then saw this gas tank – it was filled with some rather reactive gas, if I recalled correctly. And upon seeing the skull and bone mark on the tank…well, thinking that the tank contained some mighty evil force in it, he punched the tank, boss.” He began to snigger. “Boom, boss. Boom. All of his fur were gone on that day. It took him another 3 years to grow his fur back. And I’m only talking about the armpit, boss.”

Chris 2.0 nodded, and sniggered as well. “I always wondered if those hairs were real… and speaking of hair, where is Truth Love?” One couldn’t help but associate hair with Truth Love; he was probably the only hippie Blaziken in the world.

“Oh, he’s out… gone for a hike. Or so he said, boss,” Ricky replied. When Chris 2.0 didn’t say anything, he went on. “Um… he said something about settling some score with… some dude, boss…”

Chris 2.0 smiled. It didn’t matter now; tomorrow, his job here would be done, and he’ll get to go back home.


Elsewhere, a translucent figure slapped its translucent forehead with a translucent hand.

“Wrong number.”

* * * * *

Currently, DarkTyranitar was reading Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omen – it was a satire about the end of the world, and there’s an angel and a demon, a few kids, apocalypse horsepersons, and an assortment of characters that are whacky, cool, weird, or a-mix-of-those-three –he really enjoyed reading it. He found the book not only entertaining, but also good for his mental health as well – for madness that he caught earlier from Blademaster was now slowly slipping away with every page turned.

He bookmarked a page and took out a B4’s candy – candies that are shaped in the shape of Pokemon. He marvelled at the design, before gulping them down in one go. “Not bad,” he said, slowly digesting the candies. “Not bad at all…”

It might be worth mentioning how DarkTyranitar’s eating mechanism works. Contrary to popular belief, Steel Pokemon still have to eat – and not only metals, or in DarkTyranitar’s case, electricity – just like every other typical living being (and they can taste their foods too). The Magnezone and its pre-evolution lines swallow their food through a hatch (that is almost invisible to casual observer), but they need to manually eject the leftovers of the food afterwards, or their inside will get all rusty. It would be particularly dangerous if their brain became rusty, for they can then become temporarily insane – or permanently, depending on the severity of the rust. They can eject their food by two methods: either by discharging a tremendous of electricity or by initiating a self-destruct to release the tremendous amount of energy.

Which is why: a) DarkTyranitar will mutter incoherent words at times, b) he sometimes teleport himself away for no apparent reason, and c) the people around him (usually) makes mental note on the time DarkTyranitar consumed his meal.

Another fact worth mentioning is this: DarkTyranitar and Blademaster are both inflicted with mental disorder that is called bipolar disorder. It is as the potent Wikipedia.com puts it:

Bipolar disorder, once known as manic-depression, is a psychiatric diagnosis referring to a mental health condition defined by periods of extreme, often inappropriate, and sometimes unpredictable mood states.
Bipolar individuals generally experience mania, hypomania or mixed states alternating with clinical depression and euthymic or normal range of mood over varied periods of time. There are many variations of this disorder. A person with bipolar disorder generally tends to experience more extreme states of mood than other people. Moods can change quickly (many times a day) or last for months. Bipolar individuals tend to have very 'black and white' thinking, where everything in life is either a positive aspect or a negative. Mood patterns of this nature are associated with distress and disruption, and a relatively high risk of suicide. Bipolar disorder is also associated with a variety of cognitive deficits, in particular, difficulty in organizing and planning. The disorder may also skew the ability to judge others' emotion, and alter sense of awareness. Bipolar individuals can be overly observant and analytical of their environment, and in some cases paranoid of others.

To suppress the illness, they need to take an occasional dose of lithium carbonate. For if they don’t, then there is a possibility that they could end up like the legendary Kurt Cobain, who had apparently killed himself due to depression from his bipolar disorder (although some people think that he was actually murdered; DarkTyranitar, a part time conspiracy theorist does not believe in this theory), or worse. Like going on air naked, for example; yes, that was worse than suicide. At least in the case of suicide, people can sometimes trust in your so-called “self righteous suicide”. But when one appears on TV, stark naked, the only thing they will trust is their optometric doctor (to treat their now un-virgin eyes… assuming that their eyes were virgin before they did saw the aforementioned scene)

[darktyranitar]

“Ahhhhhh…. whoa,” Blademaster sighed after he was given a dose of lithium carbonate. He was silent for a while, before he then turned on the radio; it appears he was back to his original self.

They needed to know if DarkTyranitar was alright or not. So they tried to take the book away from him. He looked up, groaned, and muttered “bugger off,” before snatching the book back. They then knew he was alright; for if he was not, he would have shocked them; it happened once… and he did that even when no one had said or done anything to him.

“Change my pitch up… smack my bitch up…”” Blademaster was snapping his fingers along to the song, and tapping his foot as well. A chuckle from the back caught his attention: it was MH.

“Heh, Blade.” MH smirked, and shifted in his seat a bit after remaining dormant all these while. “You wanna smack some bitch up? We got plenty in here.”

Blademaster stopped snapping fingers. Hyperness is a Good Thing muttered a “huh?” while the others pretty much stopped doing whatever it was that they were doing and looked at him intently (except for Hyperness is a Good Thing; she was driving, after all).

“What? That’s the fact, people,” MH said casually.

“MH.” Blademaster stood up, bumping his head on the ceiling in the process. “How – could – you!” Blademaster rose up, his voice level increasing along with his (second) ascend. “Say that to the wonderful young ladies here! What do you have to say to yourself, huh?”

“The pain has stopped,” DarkTyranitar said, and it was then that they noticed that he hasn’t looked up from the book through the whole deal.

“He’s a bit of a bitch, eh?” MH said. The others ignored him, as they were now looking at DarkTyranitar intently.

“And what is your point?” The rest asked him in unison. DarkTyranitar face went blank, and he made no attempt to answer.

They returned their attention towards the smug Mega Horny. “Out,” Crystal Tears stated. She has a thing with using short sentences; somehow, when applied correctly, it can portray her as someone who was merciless, cold, and not to be messed with. MH was barely fazed, however.

Suddenly, DarkTyranitar floated up, a determined look on his face. “Look, there’s a Gardevoir,” he pointed out.

“WTF?” Blademaster exclaimed.

“Let’s… go and save it…?” he said warily, as if he was treading a minefield.

Everyone blinked. “I’m lost, Blade” Crystal Tears remarked.

“Me too, Crystal,” Blademaster said.

“Well… it’s high above the ground,” Dark Tyranitar added helpfully.

“So?” they asked in unison. “Everyone knows that Gardevoir can float up by itself,” Blademaster added, receiving a chorus of ‘yeah’ from the others.

“Yeah, but this one… well, she… or is it a he?”

“I hear that Male Kirlia evolve into a different form altogether,” MH said, still looking smug as ever. “But before that, I know that male Kirlia do evolve into Gardevoir…”

That gave the others something to ponder upon aside from MH’s comment. They wrinkled their nose at the thought.

“Okay… a she then… well, actually, she’s just hanging around the tree there…”

“What’s wrong with hanging around?” This time, it was Crystal Tears. “I do that a lot in my free time.”

“Err… I mean that literally… in the sense that she has ropes holding her up the branches… oh yeah, the tree is on fire, by the way.”

Hyperness is a Good Thing took a deep breath, and being a good driver she was, she stopped the van at the side of the road, before she drove the van towards a narrow, grassy plain, in accordance to the instructions given by DarkTyranitar. It wasn’t long before they saw the said tree – the tree was burning brightly, and the thick smoke that was produced was as black as night. And it was there, high above the tree, that they saw the Gardevoir, with ropes bind around her body, pinning her in place. The flame burned brightly around her, yet they don’t seem to be engulfing her at all.

“Sweet Jason Voorhees!” Blademaster shouted in horror, and he was about to leap up the burning tree when he felt something being squished under his feet.

“Oi, fatso! Get your fat feet off from my face!” the squished figure below him said, sounding rather squeaky and muffled. Blademaster cautiously lifted his feet, revealing a half flatted beaver-like creature, which gave it an appearance of an slippers made in the shape of an animal (or the other way around, come to think of it).

“For the love of Freddy Krueger!” he screamed, horrified at what he saw. Then, he kicked the creature aside, before squatting down to take a closer look at the abomination. “What kind of freak are you, by the way?” he asked calmly.

“Hey, that’s a Bidoof,” Crystal Tears said, as she picked the squished beaver up. “Man, those guys do crack me up…”

“Well,” the Bidoof said, apparently not so pleased that it had just been stepped upon (as well as being made fun of). “We’re in the middle of a show now… so if you don’t mind…?”

“Show? What show? Oh…” Hyperness is a Good Thing nodded, noticing approximately a dozen other Bidoof seated on the grass, watching the burning tree (or the Gardevoir, perhaps) with amazement.

“Seriously, who in the world would find it enjoyable?” DarkTyranitar asked, taking a handful of popcorn from a random Bidoof.

“Psycho?” Blademaster suggested. He looked up at the burning tree which had had suddenly exploded for no apparent reason, and he blinked. Rapidly.

“What the…” He rubbed his eyes in disbelief; the Gardevoir had just disappeared from the tree. There was a chorus of silence among the group.

“Ta-da!” The Gardevoir suddenly appeared in front of the crowd; the ropes were gone from her neck and body, and there was no trace of flame on her. There was a score of applause, followed with the sound of coins being thrown out.

Blademaster exclaimed a profanity, stepping upon another Bidoof in the process.

“Thankies!” a Rapidash said happily, going over the crowd, collecting the coins with an old battered hat. “Do come again people…” She stopped, as she noticed a few faces she hasn’t seen before, standing behind the crowds. She neighed excitedly, trotting towards them in an excited, bouncy movement. “Hey-ey, so do we have some new audience back there? Care to see tomorrow’s show? Ticket is cheap, and I guarantee ya it is very entertaining!”

“No, we don’t care at all,” Blademaster replied, out of habit. A quick thwacking sound ensued seconds later. “Ow...” He rubbed the back of his head, which had recently been bruised by Crystal Tears’ fist.

The Rapidash stopped in her path, and she looked at Crystal Tears, long and hard, as something stirred in her brain. Then she grinned, as it all came back to her. The trademark punch: it was her, no doubt!

“Ey, would you lookie here! Long time no see, sis!”

Crystal Tears blinked. “Wow, is that… you, River?” She was then awarded with a flying tackle – which the Rapidash seems to think as a universal sign of sisterly love –sending them tumbling across the ground. The Rapidash then outstretched her legs and gave a quick but firm horse-hug that was strong enough to break the bones of a Dunsparce. Despite that, Crystal Tears was happy (though there was the smallest hint of asphyxiation).

While everyone else gave an ‘aww’, MH blurted: “You guys are sisters? A Rhyperior, and a Rapidash?”

Everyone stopped aww-ing, and began hmm-ing. There was a long, awkward silence.

A mental light bulb quickly lighted up in MH’s head. “You guys must be adopted then.”

“No,” Crystal Tears answered firmly, as she tried her best not to suffocate under the Rapidash’s hooves. The Rapidash nodded, and upon noticing Crystal Tears’ face turning slightly bluish, sheepishly let go of her grip against her sister.

“Ahah, I know!” Blademaster exclaimed. “Then it must have been the same case with Dark here; his brother is an Electrode.” He furrowed his eyebrow. “Or some other type of Pokemon that tends to explode for no apparent reason… The names’ Bomb-boy.”

“Bombman, actually,” DarkTyranitar corrected.

“Ah yeah, ‘bomb all the useless building, mwahaha!’.”

“Um… scuse me…” the squished Bidoof said, now tucked under Crystal Tears foot. “Can you, like, move over or something?”

To this, Crystal Tears simply stamped her foot on the ground, and, scratching her head, she then said, “Eh?”


“So where have you been? Sis, you sure have grown a lot since the last time I saw you!” River, the Rapidash said excitedly, sweeping her hooves to point out how much her sister has grown since the last time they met. The others were seated on the ground, watching the family reunion from the sideline. They were having a dinner that consists of chop suey and kuey teow. Tsuki Megami, the Gardevoir was listening to her MP3 player, apparently oblivious to everyone else around her.

“So, from what I gather from a few reliable resources,” DarkTyranitar said to the others – in a tone of one who was about to give a long lecture. “When a male Pokemon mate with a different type than he is, there is a 25% chance that the offspring might be born inheriting the male’s feature…”

“I should be asking the same question,” Crysal Tears replied, elbowing River on what she presumed was her ribs. “We woke up that morning, and whoosh! Nothing but a trail of fire… man, mom sure was pissed that day. Poor little flowers.”

“Well,” River blushed slightly. “Sow-wee about the flowers… I promise I’ll get her more of those for her birthday. How she’s doing, anyway?”

“She’s doing well. Oh… Dad went to hospital the other day – nothing big, he just got struck by a lightning.”

“Huhuhu… and mom ALWAYS tell him to ditch the Lightningrod trait…”

DarkTyranitar carried on talking, apparently not realizing that no one is paying him any attention. “…given that both two are compatible in the first place. So, from what I heard from bits of their conversation, Crystal Tears’ father is a Rhydon. That must have meant…”

“Yeah,” Crystal Tears replied – but this was directed towards River, not DarkTyranitar.

“…that her mother is a Rapidash. That would explain why Crystal Tears could pull off fire attack quite easily. It’s in her blood…”

“Hey, you know what?” MH addressed this towards Crystal Tears. “It’s a good thing my dad’s a Nosepass too… I’d hate it if… say, my brother was a Gardevoir. Or my sister was a Machamp.”

Crystal Tears raised an eyebrow, while River giggled. “Are Machamp or Gardevoir even compatible with Nosepass?” Blademaster asked, wincing upon the usage of ‘compatible’.

“And how can your dad become a Gardevoir, MH? I thought you said males Kirlia doesn’t change into Gardevoir?” Hyperness is a Good Thing added.

DarkTyranitar cast a look around him, and went on. “Anyway, I wonder why the heck do I even bother when no one gives a damn…”

“Okay, this is getting weird…” Hinata said, trying to get herself to sleep, but without much success.

“Actually,” Tsuki Megami the Gardevoir interjected as MH began to mutter incoherently. “Male Kirlia now evolve into Gallade… but yes, male Gardevoir do exist way back. We’re talking like… three years ago.”

“Heh, but the male Kirlia still have the skirt, right?” MH asked sarcastically. Behind him, Crystal Tears had her right hand forming a fist; her eyes were closed, as she was deep in concentration.

“Weak. Tell them to adopt khakis instead. Problem solved.” Blademaster picked a sack of rice to use it as a make-shift pillow. “Dude, it’s a real messed up world out here… who came up with this whole crap anyway?”

“…bla bla bla… etc etc etc…”

And their conversation pretty much stopped there, as they all sat back and relaxed after a long day on the road – one involving evolution, some secret organization, a weird monkey (or an orang-utan, perhaps?) that claimed he was one of the gods, a rat-with-a-cat name, a loli fan, a family reunion, and an Asian-themed dinner – and not to mention sleeping among boxes and sacks (their sleeping bags have been took by Charles Legend and his cohorts just this morning; they would have slept in the van, but there was still a hint of the skunk’s stench, despite the amount of air freshener and cologne that they have sprayed inside the van.)

Hopefully, tomorrow will be an even better, random-less (but still exciting) day. And hopefully, DarkTyranitar will finally learn his lesson not to babble unnecessarily, after he was introduced to Crystal Tears’ Focus Punch.

* * * * *

It was seven o’clock, and they were already on the road – DarkTyranitar and Hyperness is a Good Thing were early riser, hence explaining why they had left early – albeit without Crystal Tears, who had decided that she would like to hang around with her (older, it turns out) sister, River, and an old friend of her, Tsuki Megami.

It was a last minute decision, namely when DarkTyranitar was waking her up.

“Hey. Crystal. Wake up.”

“Hngh? What, it’s only 6:50 AM…”

“Well, you know what they say – the early bird gets the worm.”

“Eegh… I’ll skip the worm, please.”

“Err… right.”

Silence. Then, Crystal Tears asked irritably: “So how long are you gonna stay there?”

“So. Um… this is it then…”

“What? You’re going to teleport again?”

“Uh… I mean… I’m going to assume you’ll not be following us then…?”

“Yeah, yeah… yeah, I think I’ll stay here for a bit.”

“Well… bye bye, Crystal.”

“Bai.”


The van’s engine roared (or rather, coughed) over the silence of the grassy path, with a fresh Magnezone and Tangrowth in the front row, and a sleepy Lickilicky (not to mention pissed off), Probopass (who had vision of listening to his father’s lecture) and Leafeon (struggling whether to sleep or to stay awake) in the back. They had forgotten to buy themselves some coffee, so they were now stuck with green tea instead.

“Itadakimasu!” DarkTyranitar chanted, slowly sipping the tea. He frowns as soon as he discovered the bland taste of the tea; he prefers a good sweet tea, even if it has too much sugar in it.

“Tea, Hypes?” he offered. Hyperness is a Good Thing politely shook her head.

“No thanks,” she said. “Can’t be drinking while driving; it might get us into an accident.”

DarkTyranitar frowned, gulping the tea down with distaste. “Mr Bean,” he simply said.

And then, there it was: pure, saturated boredom.

It was a very boring morning. It was as the boredom was a smoke, smothering them down in its dark, thick blanket. Not even the Vice City Mario and Luigi – who had just overtook the van, driving what appears to be a lowrider (with a score of police forces hot on their trail) – could do anything more than raise an eyebrow or two from the group. Not even the song Five Man Army by Massive Attack that was played on the radio could help (although under normal circumstances, only DarkTyranitar would enjoy the song).

Not even the random phone call from Roy Karrde could chase away the boredom.

Only now do they realize just how important Crystal Tears was to the group. She was like a bridge, connecting them all to form one strong, mutual (but chaotic at times) bond. Now she was out of the crew, and the bond had weakened.

This means that no one paid attention to the morning news.

This is just in: a DC-7B plane had been hijacked at approximately 0816 hours, Hoenn time, just 100 miles outside the Shinou border. Based on CIA’s information, it was confirmed that the target is a Pokemon, and he is alone. The pilot and the passengers had safely abandoned the plane, and two Mirage F1B were send to intercept the plane. We will continue to keep you updated, so stay tuned…

Such a boring day…

* * * * *

Approximately 15 minutes before the news came in, somewhere a few thousand kilometres from the earth surface…

The Arbiter woke up with a start, for he felt the cool breeze rushing over his face. That was weird; the air conditioning was not working properly when he fell asleep, if he remembered correctly. He got up and turned around to look behind his seat, and immediately, he began to notice that there was something wrong with the picture:

Firstly: there was a note plastered on his forehead. (he took it off, and it reads as follow: We would like to apologize for the inconvenience. It appears that a terrorist had just hijacked this plane – and since you are a Pokemon [and not to mention the lack of parachute] who appears to be capable of Teleport, we’ll leave you with this note and a wad of money [think of it as a compensate]. We hope you enjoy the flight, and we hope to be seeing you again. Yours truly, PJ.)

Secondly, two jet fighters were chasing the plane (he could see them over a large hole that had appeared on the ceiling; on close inspection, he saw that the roof actually ripped off clean from the hinge, as if someone cut the partition on purpose).

As he was still trying to process over what he had just witnessed, an explosion ensued on his right, causing the plane to shake for one brief moment. A second explosion took place on his left, causing the entire glass pane on the left side of the plane to shatter into pieces. The Arbiter was glad that the glass fragment blew outwards, rather than inwards.

Nevertheless, he was now very frustrated; not only had they abandoned him here, but they had also mistaken him for Espeon – the only branch of the Eeveelution that could use the move teleport (as far as he could recall). And the planes – what could he do to tell them that he was not the said ‘terrorist’? (for he has the briefest feeling that this was all a set up) He thoughtfully measured on his chance of survival, and he realized that it was going to a 50/50 chance (either he live or he dies).

“In the name of love,” he muttered. With care and deliberation, he went to the pilot’s control board where he then began to push the buttons – in a thoughtful movement at first, before his paws moved randomly. When nothing appears to happen, he went back to his seat and did the thing any possible sane person would do in the situation.

He prayed for one, brief moment that seemed to last for an eternity. And then he went to write in his journal, pretending that nothing had just happened. He also had the headphone plugged in – but sadly, it appears that the same song was put on a loop mode, played over and over again...


Not far from both plane and fighter jets, just above the thick cover of the clouds, an almost invisible figure was cruising with a stealthy, swift movement. It was loaded with a lot of firepower, and it was waiting.

* * * * *

There is a Malay proverb that goes along the line of “the broken will grow back” (patah tumbuh berganti). That proverb could be applied right here, right now – for everything was back to normal.

Blademaster effectively chased the boredom away by kicking DarkTyranitar, and law and (dis)order was returned to the five ‘mon army as the others followed the suit with their own set of insanity (except for DarkTyranitar – who was being kicked around like a soccer – and Hyperness is a Good Thing – who was driving). No one could claim that it was boring anymore.

The song ‘By The Way’ was now played on the radio. Hyperness is a Good Thing really enjoyed the song that she even started to drum her vines against the steering wheel, merrily honking once or twice per minute.

“Say, Hypes,” MH said from the back as he played a game of Russian roulette with Hinata and Blademaster (they played a safer version by using a Maverick Rev-6 Nerf gun – they brought it earlier at The Bends – which was relatively painful, but at the same time, safe).

“Hm?” Hyperness is a Good Thing replied, still drumming against the steering wheel.

“Classy-rat-ta-cat said that we won’t find another shop for the next 300 miles, right?”

“That’s what she said.”

He pointed outside, just as the gun was handed to him “Then what is that thing there?” He then pressed the trigger, and he was unlucky, for the gun then blew off, and his head was then jerked sideways due to the impact of the plastic bullet. Not that it did any damage on his rocky interior though, but it did hurt his pride that he had lost the game. Blademaster and Hinata smiled and gave each other a high five.

Hyperness is a Good Thing slowed the van – stopping her drumming altogether – and took the corner on the right. It didn’t take long before the building came into full view: it was a one storey house, with plain white wall, and plain door, window, and plain roof. A sloppy signboard was hung on top of the door, reading: “The Disreputable Salamander: Bollocks and all. (Got books? We have plenty – and we sure could use some more!)”

“Okay…” Hyperness is a Good Thing parked the van with a fast yet precise manoeuvre. “It’s a book shop… So, should we stay or should we go?”

“I say we go…” MH let out a yawn, but then scratched his head as he thought of something. “Well, unless if it has comic books. Or hot chicks, heheh.”

There were various murmuring and talking as they began to descend, but DarkTyranitar remained where he was. “Hmmm, strange…” DarkTyranitar muttered, his eyes closed in concentration. “I couldn’t find any database on this shop…” His eyes opened up. “Not to mention that the shop was not mentioned in the GPS system…”

He looked around, noticing that he was once again left behind.

“Um…” This time, he didn’t bother to float all the way: he teleported.

However, he had somehow miscalculated his teleporting radius, and he was now inside the shop, in what appears to be a bedroom. Half of the wall of the room was covered with posters of various rock artists, band members, and actors – some familiar, some were not. His initial impression about the room was that it either belongs to a fanboy or a fangirl. His guess was that it was probably the latter.

DarkTyranitar went towards a CD-rack, which was fully loaded with music CDs, with a bit of TV and anime series DVD in the mix as well. He randomly picked a few.

“Number of the Beast… OK Computer… Toxicity… wow, there’s Ghost In The Shell too?” He whistled, and went on to check the rest of the collection.

The door behind him opened with a small creak, followed with the sound of someone clearing her throat. DarkTyranitar turned around, and he saw a Growlithe, her fur still wet after emerging from a shower. She looked impatient, unsurprised, and, somehow, unashamed.


Apart from Jynx, the Machop evolution lines, Mr/Mrs Mime, the Hitmon familys, Gardevoir, Castform, Empoleon, Froslass and other similar Pokemon, it was hard for a normal human being to define a ‘naked’ and a ‘clothed’ Pokemon. It was something that only the Pokemon understood themselves – they have a terribly good (but at times, weird) sense of imagination as compared to human. For example, say a female Jigglypuff had just emerged from a shower, and a male Aron was, by chance, available in the vicinity. Should they meet eye to eye – and if the Jigglypuff was sensible, as well as the Aron – they will scream at each other, and the Jigglypuff would then storm into her dress room, where she will emerge minutes later, ‘fully clothed’ – even though when should a human by chance happened to see her ‘naked’ form and her ‘clothed’ form, they will find no difference between those two.

This has been a somewhat running joke between the human and the Pokemon, in which the former would sometimes jokingly asked the latter if they are clothed or not. They’d get a strange look or two, with the occasional eating, burning, tearing their body apart and other various mutilating method.

Want to get a ‘naked’ Pokemon? Put the said Pokemon with some very ruffled furs, plus an enclosed shower room… and voila, a ‘naked’ Pokemon was made. Want to get them ‘clothed’? Throw in a towel, and some talcum powder and hairbrush… and voila, a ‘clothed’ Pokemon was made.

It was a concept only the Pokemon understood it themselves. They think that they need to have some sort of dignity like the human, so as not to be regarded as a lesser when compared with the humans. They are not so good in explaining this kind of stuff to human, because the concept is not logical enough for the human’s mind to grasp.


DarkTyranitar screamed, and immediately threw himself under the bed – with no bleeding nose, because he wasn’t that perverted – muttering a lengthy apology with approximately the same speed of a bullet train. Outside, the Growlithe just grinned, and went to ‘get dressed’.

“Lordy lord,” She muttered; it was evident from her accent that she was a Briton. “I got out of shower, and, bless, there’s a Magnezone person in my room.” She chuckled, much to the blushing of DarkTyranitar. “Ey. Would you by any chance be DarkTyranitar?” the Growlithe asked as she lifted a fraction of her bed sheet. To DarkTyranitar, it appeared that she was now ‘dressed’.

“Yes…” DarkTyranitar said slowly. “And you must be… Weasel Overlord then.”

“Aye. How’d you know?”

“Well… I saw Roy Karrde arguing with you via the internet as I was spying… and as I spied on a bit his chatlogs, I have gleamed a bit of information about you.”

“Ahh, I found out about you and your friends through him, too,” Weasel Overlord said, and DarkTyranitar noticed that the colour of her face changed upon him mentioning of Roy Karrde. He made no comment of that observation and he just simply nodded, still not moving from his place.

“Usually, people will think I’m a guy; must have something to do with the word ‘Overlord’,” Weasel Overlord went on.

“Well, I know that you were a girl – from the chatlogs – though I never dreamed to come dropping when…” Weasel Overlord laughed, as Dark Tyranitar’s face turn into a shade of red. “…I’m going to have a nightmare tonight…” he said mournfully.

“Right, right,” Weasel Overlord said cheerfully, as she went to fetch a comb to brush his tail. “So, how about we go and meet the others? I heard Crystal Tears is with you. Is that true?”

DarkTyranitar did not listen to her words; while he was hiding down the bed, he had found a stash of mangas that – as he browse through them pages by pages – turns out to be mangas about… boys love. Or, otherwise known as…

“Yaoi…” he muttered from the depth of the bed.

“Ahaha, it is,” Weasel Overlord laughed, nudging DarkTyranitar with her hind foot. “Why? You like ‘em or something?”

DarkTyranitar felt his soul slowly distancing itself from his body. He was going to have double nightmare tonight.


“Ahh, so she’s staying with her sister?” Weasel Overlord asked, as the others took a sip of their tea. “Yeah, I have forgotten that River was here too.” She paused to sip her tea. “So, what brings you guys here? Catching Muse’s concert next week, by any chance?”

“Ooh, Muse!” Hyperness is a Good Thing, Hinata, and DarkTyranitar exclaimed in unison. Blademaster and MH raised an eyebrow, wondering what the hell was this ‘Muse’ they were talking about was.

“They’re coming here next week?” DarkTyranitar seems to be in a state of disbelief and utter confusion. “I didn’t about know that… if I knew, I would have postponed this trip until next week…”

“Well, the tickets are just on sale a few day before we left,” Hyperness is a Good Thing explained. “They sold out very fast; the tickets were out two hours after they were on sale!”

“Ah.”

“Well, I got mine 2 weeks ago, on presale!” Weasel Overlord grinned, barely able to contain herself. “And Chiko said that she has the ticket as well, so she’ll be coming this weekend. Heeeee… now, excuse me as I scream like a little girl.”

“By all means, go ahead,” Hinata said. Hyperness is a Good Thing nodded.

“Lucky,” DarkTyranitar grumbled as Weasel Overlord began to squeal like a little girl.
Blademaster and MH excused themselves and went to check out the books; they were truly out of the Muse-thing loop.

“So, you’re selling books, Weasel?” DarkTyranitar asked after the squealing had died down.

Weasel Overlord gave a laugh. “Well, actually…”

“Holy crap! One hundred buck for an old, battered book?!” Blademaster exclaimed.

“And there’s no comic, too,” MH added glumly.

Weasel Overlord sniggered. “There ya go.”

DarkTyranitar nodded. “You’re opening a bookshop just as a reason to store books.”

“Yeah, how d’ya know?” Weasel Overlord asked. DarkTyranitar just handed her the Good Omens novel, bookmarked at page forty eight.

Weasel Overlord nodded. “The book… it was written in 1990s – friggin yonks ago. I’d show you my ancient, paperback version, but it’s lent out.”

“So Weasel, is there any book that here that actually got sold away?” Hyperness is a Good Thing asked.

“Yeah… I do sell a few of ‘em on occasion… oh, and a bit of my writing too.”

“Err… by your writing, do you mean…?” DarkTyranitar hesitated.

“Yaoi? Nah, I write fantasy fic too, see.” Weasel Overlord took Good Omen and held it in her hand in the manner of someone who was now looking at a remainder of his childhood memories. “I adore Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett; they’re awesome,” she said after a moment of silence.

“Yeah,” DarkTyranitar and Hyperness is a Good Thing agreed. Hinata nodded, saying nothing.


Weasel Overlord then took the cups and piled them up into her half-empty sink (she like to think of it that way, rather than half-full) as the others went doing their own set of activity (mostly just sitting on the sofa, doing nothing at all). “Right guys. The TV’s all yours if you wanna watch anything. Just make sure not to blow it up, haha,” she said over the rush of the tap water. “M’ going to chat for a bit… oh, bless you.” Hyperness is a Good Thing was at the sink now, helping her to wash the rest of the unwashed dishes and cups. “Be back in a while.”

DarkTyranitar nodded, starting up his internal internet connection.


Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Hi Weasel; this be dt – DarkTyranitar.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: hola!
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Whatcha doing now?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: Salamander – Disreputable! says: just downloading the newest episode of Heroes, and talking to a friend
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Ah. Who is it?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: the arbiter
Salamander – Disreputable! says: wtf?
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Hm? Anything wrong?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: well… it appears that he’s got himself in one of those big shite trouble
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Oh, what is it?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: there’s two bloody fighter jets chasing him
Salamander – Disreputable! says: Bloody hell. And this is happening just when he was coming down here too ><
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Err, come again? ^^;;
Salamander – Disreputable! says: he’s now in a plane, see
Salamander – Disreputable! says: and this two fighter jets are after him
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: That’s crazy.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: it is, isn’t it?


Within minutes, a group chat was set up. Now, there were 4 participants: Weasel Overlord, The Arbiter, DarkTyranitar, and Hinata (she borrowed Weasel Overlord’s second computer)

Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Hi, Arbiter. This’s DarkTyranitar. What’s the situation?
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Hi. Hinata.
Grey says: Hi guys.
Grey says: So, I just woke up to find the whole plane deserted, save for a note saying that a terrorist had hijacked the plane, and two jet fighters following closely behind.
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Doesn’t sound right, if you ask me…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Okay. See the terrorist?
Grey says: No. I don’t think there is anyone else here but me.
Grey says: Somehow, I suspect that it’s all a set up…
Salamander – Disreputable! says: Grey… you aren’t by any chance driving the planes, would you?
Grey says: No.
Grey says: It appears to be flying on its own.
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Maybe plane’s on autopilot mode?
Grey says: Yeah, I guess so. But, I tried pushing every button – nothing works, not even the radio. Good thing I have my laptop here.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: tried contacting Chris?
Grey says: No… he’s not on right now
Grey says: Besides, only my MSN is working at the moment; and since there’s no one online other than you guys…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Ah
Grey says: What should I do then? Any idea?
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Who’s in charge of the air traffic control department of the Shinou region, Weasel?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: oh god
Salamander – Disreputable! says: it’s Roy Karrde >>
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Isn’t he supposed to be responsible for the safety inside Shinou?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: aye.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: ‘s gonna be tough now…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Think we can ask him to let Arbiter land here?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: I’ll try…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Gee, those two get along well like sodium and water, huh?
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: I wouldn’t know of that…
Roy Karrde has been added to the conversation
Roy Karrde says: Listen, Wease, I won’t repeat it here anymore – your ‘friend’, The Arbiter is now a number one national thread, and therefore will be deal with the appropriate method, with an utmost viligance
Salamander – Disreputable! says: it’s vigilance, you know
Roy Karrde says: Do not care
Roy Karrde says: Plus, I thought I already told you that we shouldn’t interfere in human’s affair.
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Err… hi
Roy Karrde says: Who’s Chief and Toxi-chan?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: we all know he’s incapable of flying. He even has a bit of phobia against the height, lol
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: DarkTyranitar
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Hinata
Roy Karrde says: Ah. Hi dt.
Roy Karrde says: Well, Weasel, I just talked with the CIA – they have raided The Arbiter’s house shortly after finding out about his hijacking, and they found evedence that he was planning to crash the plane down on the Kanto’s Embassy in Shinouh.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: you know you can’t really trust the CIA
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Evil people.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: god, roy. he’s a Pokemon like us too – why should we let the humans decide what’ll happen to him? don't we have rules to deal to these specific kind of ‘offenders’ – and may I remind you, that it was the one that you made?
Roy Karrde says: That was then. We should be flexible – there should be no compromise for terrorists, regarding of species. If the humans want to interfere, then fine. They know whats best.
Grey says: …oh, so I’m a terrorist now.
Grey says: Cool, I didn’t know that…
Roy Karrde says: Indeed you are
Roy Karrde says: terrorist
Salamander – Disreputable! says: terrorist? how mean!
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Mossad still own over CIA, IIRC
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: “By ways of deception, thou shalt do war.”
Roy Karrde says: Huh?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: okay, roy, assuming that the arbiter here is a terrorist – again, I said assuming – why not, like, send over someone over to land the plane safely or something?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: isn’t that, like, a lot more cheaper and all? we don’t need to let this to turn into a war, ya know
Roy Karrde says: Your not making sense, Dark.
Grey says: Yeah
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Yeah
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Mm-hm
Roy Karrde says: Guys,
Roy Karrde says: it doesn’t work that easily. Besides, the order is already out
Roy Karrde says: and the planes can’t just pull them off like that
Roy Karrde says: I hope they blast your ass off the face of the planet, Arbie
Salamander – Disreputable! says: yes there is! dude, you’re the one who issued the order, if I recalled correctly
Salamander – Disreputable! says: so I don’t see why you can’t just call em off like that.
Roy Karrde says: Look, it’s a good thing that I’m good with the CIA people – if not, we might have one plane crashing down on the Kanto embassy. And that’d be very horrible indeed.
Roy Karrde says: And I think we should really should focus on something else, like getting more tourist to Shinou.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: dude, I don’t get it at all. I thought you were always against the humans all this while? So what’s up with this, roy?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: and will you stop changing the topic like that? we’re talking about the arbiter here, you know
Roy Karrde says: But this is necessary for the greater good
Salamander – Disreputable! says: good?! remember what happened to Johto once the CIA got involved? you still do remember it, don’t you?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: so tell me how it’s supposed to be for ‘the greater good’, Roy?
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Are they talking about the economy collapse tenye ars ago?
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: *ten years
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: That, or the Mount Silver Genocide.
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Yeah, I just checked btw. Roy Karrde was the one who had asked the humans to send out the planes – before the CIA issued the warrant, too.
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Isn’t it strange?
Roy Karrde says: *shake head*
Roy Karrde says: This conversation stops here.
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: What!
Roy Karrde says: I don’t want to be involved in this silly argument anymore, Wease
Grey says: I’ll do anything, sir – I’m even willing to spend my life being a full time servant
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Err, dude, the Arbiter…?
Grey says: When I said anything, I meant ANYTHING.
Grey says: So… do help, sir? Please?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: oh, the surprise. backing out from an argument. that is just so you, Roy
Roy Karrde says: Yes, backing out from a senseless argument – now that’s mature
Grey has left the conversation
Salamander – Disreputable! says: mature?!
Roy Karrde says: Anyway, I don’t think that I would want to deal with this BS anymore, Wease
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: That was weak, Roy…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Yeah.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: you’re always not in the mood to deal with others whenever someone else seem to say the right thing, don’t you Roy?
Roy Karrde says: Enough, people.
Roy Karrde has left the conversation
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Hey, where’s The Arbiter?
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: …WTF?!
Salamander – Disreputable! says: bollocks

* * * * *

Bulbasaur4 the Growlithe – who was the Ministry of Communication for the Shinou region – was now talking on the phone after having a Bleach marathon with Classycat – it lasted from yesterday’s afternoon until this morning.

“…it was a total set-up with showing everyone pretty much ready to die, including Ichigo.” She was chatting animatedly over the phone – her own phone, not the shop’s one. “But of all people… having Kenpachi show up to save his ass? PERFECT MOMENT!!”

There was a bleeping from the phone beside her. “Ngggh, will you look at that,” she grumbled, making a sour face. “Someone’s on the line… Well, guess I’ll have to talk to you later, Mc-Nin. Okies? Yeah, cool! Luv ya. Bai.” She put the phone down, resuming into her business-like pose. “Hello, this is The Bends. We’re opened everyday, from eight AM to two AM. This is Bulbasaur4 speaking; how can I be to your service?”

“Ummm…hi, Bulbasaur4...” The speaker at the other side of the line sounded nervous. “Err…”

“Are you alright, sir?” Bulbasaur4 said reassuringly after a long silence ensued.

“Um… well,” the speaker said after a short while. “I’m calling The Disreputable Salamander, see, and I really appreciate it if you can send us the ‘protection’ you said you were selling...”

“Who’s on the line, Bulbie?” Roy Karrde demanded, just emerging from his room. Bulbasaur4 put his paw on the phone.

“It’s just someone who said that he was calling from The Disreputable Salamander, and he’s asking for some ‘protection’.”

Roy Karrde groaned. “Ask him if he’s DarkTyranitar, calling from The Disreputable Salamander.”

“Alright.” Bulbasaur4 removed her paw from the phone. “You’re DarkTyranitar, calling from The Disreputable Salamander?” she asked.

“Yes,” said the speaker.

Bulbasaur4 put her paw on the phone once again. “Yeah, he’s DarkTyranitar all right. What do you need me to say to him?”

“Listen here carefully, Bulbie,” Roy Karrde said; he was now standing just inches from Bulbasaur4’s face, with an air of supposedly seriousness and menace. “Whatever this guy ask for. Don’t. Give. It. To. Him.”

Bulbasaur4 blinked. “Why?”

Roy Karrde shook his head. “Look, I don’t want to say this openly, but I suspect that he is about to get himself involved in a national security threat. So whatever happen, don’t let him purchase anything from here.”

“Okay…” Bulbasaur4 said, wondering what was up with Roy’s attitude. She brushed the thought aside, and got back to the conversation.

“I’m sorry DarkTyranitar, but I’m afraid that completing your request is not possible at the time being.”

“Err… what do you mean?”

“Well.” She paused for a few seconds, before coming up with an answer. “Roy Karrde – the one in charge of the shop here – says that he’s blocking every transaction from this shop, starting right now. It has something to do with a sudden breach in the Shinou transaction system. Something about a virus attack.” She shook her head, not understanding what was going on at all. “I don’t understand the situation myself, but he gave me specific order not to entertain to anyone at the time being. He said it has something to do with some glitch in the system that needs to be fixed.”

“Okay…”

“Try and call again in an hour,” Bulbasaur4 said helpfully. “We should be back to business by that time.”

“All right. Thanks, anyway.”

“No problem. Have a good day then,” Bulbasaur4 said in a somewhat out-of-place cheery voice. The line then went dead.

She could hear some swearing moments before the line was cut.

“Thanks, Bulbie,” Roy Karrde said, with the smallest hint of satisfaction. “That was very helpful of you.”

[darktyranitar]

Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Well, there we go. The Bends has stopped every kind of trade to us because Roy is afraid that we’ll interrupt his plan.
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: >-(
Salamander – Disreputable! says: ‘s bad. that cheeky little bastard
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Yeah.
Grey says: Alas, woe is me…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: I’ve seen worse things, really…
Grey says: Sweet Lord, speak to me! Speak to me, speak to me…
Salamander – Disreputable! says: ahaha… eh?
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Optimism is overrated, isn’t it?
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Is it?
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Eh, never mind that…
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: I feel bad that we can’t do much to help you, Arbiter.
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: But then again, you don’t really have any control over this kind of situation.
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Like being in a car wreck.
Grey says: Sorry I couldn’t manage to make it to your place, Wease
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Yeah.
Salamander – Disreputable! says: nah, it’s okay. stuff happens, dude
Salamander – Disreputable! says: but… whatever happens
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: Well…
Salamander – Disreputable! says: YOU MUST GET OUT OF THIS IN ONE PIECE!
Salamander – Disreputable! says: (bad joke, sorry)
Grey says: Heh, perhaps…
Chief - the sentence is set, the hammer has fallen says: There is one thing that I *think* I could do to help…
Toxi-chan : NEED. MORE. DESU says: Really?
Salamander – Disreputable! says: aye? do tell.
Grey says: Oh?

“Now we get to kick some ass!” Blademaster said boldly from behind, pumping his fist into the air. MH and Hyperness is a Good Thing exchanged look, and just shrugged.


It passed like a dream for DarkTyranitar. One moment he was having a chat, and the next thing he knew…

“Adios, amigo,” Blademaster said, patting him on the back. As if on instinct – driven by an unknown force – DarkTyranitar then felt himself engaging a Teleport.

…he now found himself inside an aeroplane, the heavy MANPADS’s weight heavy on his back. Sitting in front of him was an anxious looking Umbreon, who was eyeing him with a mixture of curiosity and fear.

“Ello,” the Umbreon finally said.

DarkTyranitar glanced towards the box that was strapped behind him. “Hey, Arbiter,” he said, putting down the box with deliberate care. The Arbiter eyed the box with curiosity – it was approximately twelve feet in length, with a width of approximately five feet. Whatever it was in the box, it must have been pretty dangerous; the various labels on the box practically screamed of ‘danger’.

“What’s in the box?” The Arbiter asked nervously.

“Well, if we’re lucky, we won’t have to use it,” DarkTyranitar said, nervous as well. He glanced at The Arbiter, and then towards the two jet fighters above him. “Tried contacting them with the radio or anything?” he asked.

“Yeah, I tried them all. Nothing works.” Then, shamefacedly, he added, “I have no clue which button to push, really.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Within moments, they were at the cockpit, where DarkTyranitar begin to push a few button thoughtfully – or rather, at a random but yet refined pace. Eventually, he managed to retrieve a broom and a length of string.

“The old-school auto pilot method,” he said, putting the item back in place. No wonder the plane appears to be circling round and round The Arbiter thought.

“The radio’s down, it seems,” DarkTyranitar stated unnecessarily when it appears that nothing happened after he had pushed practically every button (except for one that had the words ‘Self destruct mode’ written on it; The Arbiter noticed the button earlier, too).

“You do have a plan B, right?” The Arbiter asked hopefully.

“Yeah… hold on for a while.” DarkTyranitar switched on his internal radio function.

And it was only then that he remembered that he did not know the proper way to radio in another plane. What was it again? Did he have to mention words like Alpha, Charlie or the likes? Lima Whiskey? Or Hotel Bravo? His coordinate? Did his name really mattered?

To hell with that.

“Uh… Counter Terrorist from DC-7B, reporting in, over,” he said over the line, trying to make sound as convincing as possible. He was only answered with a lengthy static.

He tried again. “Counter Terrorist from DC-7B, reporting in, over.” Again, there was the lengthy static again. This time, in addition to the radio message, he sends a mental message as well:

“Percayalah pada pembunuh dirianku yang serba mementingkan diri ini…”

“DC-7B, this is Mirage F1B. We copy you, over,” the answer came, with something that hinted of an apology.

“Did you do something else to them?” The Arbiter asked suspiciously.

“Maybe,” DarkTyranitar said, whistling not-so-innocently. “Still, I just have to do that. They’re French, after all.”

“Ah… okay.”

“Mirage F1B, I’ve got the target secured, over.”

“Say that again, over.”

“I’ve got the target secured, over.”

There was a brief crackle of static. Then, “Confirm your identity, over.”

“Uh-oh” DarkTyranitar thought. Bracing for the worst, he picked out a name at random:

“Commander Jason Lo, from Komando 69, over.” DarkTyranitar wondered what’ll happen once they found out who he really was. Perhaps they’ll shoot him, or maybe arrest him, even.

He was quite lucky, for they won’t be getting the chance to find out about it.

From above the clouds, the missiles came and it rained the Mirage F1B fighter jets below.

“Oh, shi-” was the last thing that could be heard on the radio before a terrible explosion roared the still, thin air, sending shrapnel of metals flying everywhere.

Napalm was falling from the sky, and it left no man alive


“Oh, God,” The Arbiter groaned, crushed under the weight of DarkTyranitar. It was a good thing for him, though; at least he is safeguarded from being struck by one of those flying shrapnel.

Suddenly – and magically, it seems – the box that DarkTyranitar brought along earlier was blasted to pieces. The Arbiter’s eyes widened as he saw DarkTyranitar pulling out the content of the box, but he then sighed as the content of the box was then revealed before him: it was something that looked like a bazooka, except that this one seemed much more complex, with some complex-looking parts sticking over various part of the tube. The length of the weapon approximately eight feet in length, and The Arbiter guessed that it must have been quite heavy. It was quite disappointing, for he had half expected that the box was holding some kind of vicious monster such as, say, Jason Voorhees.

“Is it even legal for us to shoot the plane?” The Arbiter asked cautiously, afraid that he’ll disrupt DarkTyranitar’s focus or anything.

“Can’t be so sure… but, should we shoot the plane in the vicinity of Hoenn region, then we might be able to get away with it,” DarkTyranitar said. All of his three eyes were now glowing with a faint red hue. “Geez, rules and all…”

The Arbiter allowed himself to settle down as DarkTyranitar continued to scan the sky. “So, ‘Tar,” The Arbiter said after five minutes passed without anything happening yet. “Where do we go from here?”

“Honestly?” DarkTyranitar took his attention away from the sky for one brief moment. “If all goes well, we’re gonna get out of here in one piece… be it dead or alive. It’ll be the second one. I hope.” He sniggered upon noticing The Arbiter’s uneasiness. “Eh, don’t worry dude. I’ll make sure we both get out of here alive.”

“...okay, that’s comforting to know.” The Arbiter stared into the distance, and sighed. “I’m just wondering how come I can get myself involved in this wreck. I mean, I was a law abiding citizen. Well, I’m still one, and always will be one. Unless…” He paused.

“Maybe your father has connection with CIA and stuff?” DarkTyranitar suggested. The Arbiter shrugged, but before he could carry on, he noticed that DarkTyranitar’s eyes had now turned blood red, and they were flickering wildly. Being sensible, The Arbiter went behind a seat – just as the unmistakable explosion of a rocket blasting through off roared over the stillness of the air.

A strange silence followed for approximately three seconds before a louder explosion ensued.

The Arbiter heard DarkTyranitar’s whistling, and thinking that everything was alright, he got out from his hiding place. He looked out, and to his amazement, he could see that a missile was making its way towards them. He looked at DarkTyranitar; the latter gave a groan, and tossed the MANPADS aside.

“Gotta go; be back in a bit.”


The pilot of the jet fighter – a slightly bulky human at young age of twenty something – scanned the horizon to see if the missile has done its job or not. That was strange, there’s no explosion at all he thought, as he circled above the DC-7B. That was the problem with Pokemon – they were as unpredictable and as reactive as plutonium. Whatever those guys were up to down there, he hoped that it would not pose much trouble to him.

Hopefully.

A small blinking shape suddenly appeared on the plane’s radar. What was this? Something had just come out of nowhere, and it was heading towards him, fast! He cocked his head to see what it was; had he was not wearing a visor, his eyes would have surely flew out of their socket.

The Pokemon – some sort of a metal sphere with two U-shaped magnets on its side, as well as a few eyes – was heading towards the jet, clinging upon the missile that the pilot had shot earlier. The pilot flinched; they never thought him on ways to evade a missile that backfired. Making an evading manoeuvre was possible, but the chances of pulling it off perfectly are slim.

He took a deep breath, and jerked the plane sideways. He held his breath, as the missile brushed pass his jet in one of those slow motion moment… Had this been a movie, surely the scene will change back and forth between DarkTyranitar and the pilot, with the background music going ‘Dun-dun. Dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dundundundun… ker-ba-boom!’.

And then, time returned to its former self. The missile whooshed pass the jet, where it then exploded approximately four seconds later.

The pilot threw one hand to the air and grinned, now that that annoying pest was taken care off. That left him free to finish of his job then.

He was about to head back towards the DC-7B airplane when a something went ‘splat’ against the jet. Almost on impulse, he threw both hands in the air and quickly got into a fighting stance (while he was still seated): it turns out that the magnet Pokemon was now on the windshield, and even though the magnet Pokemon appears to have no mouth, the pilot could tell that it was grinning by now.

The pilot began to sweat as the Pokemon then banged its body against the windshield, where it then proceeds to slowly ascend into the cockpit.

“AAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!”

Swish.


“Phew, it’s over,” DarkTyranitar sighed, now back in the DC-7B again. “Well, that’s the last one,” he said as he tossed a Winnie the Pooh-patterned underwear outside. Beside him, The Arbiter’s jaw dropped to form a large ‘O’.

“High five, Arbiter.”

The Arbiter blinked, and shrugged. “I think you meant ‘high two’ plus ‘high four’… but, sure.” He slapped his paw on DarkTyranitar’s magnet hand. “Well, that was quite a close call, and I admit you did a good job to save us, but… is that even ethically correct?”

“What? I didn’t kill that guy. I just stripped him naked, that’s all.” DarkTyranitar gave a nervous laugh. “Let’s just hope that they won’t charge it for sexual assault or anything – after all, all’s fair in love and war, right?” He turned to look at the laptop sitting behind them. “Did you get that recorded, by the way?”

“Yup! It’s all recorded here!” Weasel Overlord exclaimed over the MSN window. Behind her, the rest of the group were crowded together, all with an awestruck face. “Ehehe, the look on the guy’s face…” Weasel Overlord sighed. “Oh my God…”

Blademaster pushed Weasel Overlord aside. “Dude! You gotta give me that bazooka sometimes!” he shouted excitedly. “Man, think of how many Hoppip we can blast with that thing! A hell lot better than a BB gun.”

“Sure, Blade.”

“Heh, with this video, I don’t think the guy will tell other humans what had really happened there…” Hinata said, grinning. “Maybe we should post it in youtube or something.”

“Aight, that was cool.” It was then MH. “Well, nothing can go wrong now, right dude?”

As if on cue, the plane began to shake as both wings suddenly exploded without any apparent reason. One of the loose wings then flew towards the windows, where it then cut the plane clean in two parts, starting from the middle until it reached towards the tail.

Blademaster rolled his eyes, and smacked MH on the head. “You and your big mouth…”

Weasel Overlord gave a nervous laugh, but that was about to change real soon.

* * * * *

Weasel Overlord was now sniffling slightly. All the money she had saved in buying the shop –the one she had saved since she was just a pup – was about to be gone in a few more minutes – all of them; every single penny of them.

“There, there,” Hyperness is a Good Thing said sympathetically, giving her a comforting hug – and impressively managing to avoid herself from being burnt to crisps.

“I don’t know if this’ll help…” Hinata passed Weasel Overlord a bar of 4-chan kandies. “But here you go.”

“Thank – woo-hoo! – you *sniff*,” Weasel Overlord said between a bite of the candy. It’s insanity level (the 4-chan kandies bar, not Weasel Overlord) was quite high, but it was not high enough.

According to DarkTyranitar’s calculation, the plane was now heading towards the Disreputable Salamander, and there was nothing that he could do to change its course of flight. Blademaster – who knew DarkTyranitar too well – had insisted that he do a recount on his calculation. He did – for twenty times, only to bring out the same result every time.

Weasel Overlord had reluctantly called Roy Karrde upon learning about the incoming crash, hoping to at least get his help in stopping the plane before it enters the Shinou region. Ten minutes have passed since the plane entered the Shinou border, and Roy hasn’t pick up the phone even once. This was the same when she tried to contact Bulbasaur4; resignedly, she began to move her belongings out of the shop. Oh, how she wished she could move the shop away from the ground! Alas, she was powerless in this situation.

It would be approximately five more minutes until collision course.

While Hinata and Hyperness is a Good Thing helped Weasel Overlord with putting her belongings to a safe place just a few kilometres from the shop – and comforting her in the process as well – Blademaster and MH were sitting in the van, mulling over the situation.

“You know dude, I don’t understand one bit of this whole situation,” MH grumbled.

“Me too. I mean, where the hell did he get that awesome bazooka? I want one of those big guns too…” Blademaster said in a somehow serious tone – and this only serves to annoy MH.

“And I was thinking – well, there’s bound to be death and destruction, right? The damage would be abysmal, I tell you.”

“Wait… is the world going to end then?” Blademaster gave the van a light kick. “Where’s my popcorn and coke, dammit!”

MH shot Blademaster an annoyed look, but he quickly regained his composure. “Okay… at least there’s going to be a lot of fire, blood, and tears…”

“Let’s see: Tears: check. Fire: on the way. Blood: Bring it on!” He cocked his head and noticed a very annoyed and pissed off MH. “What’s up with you, anyway? Talking stuffs like that.”

MH glared at Blademaster. “Oh, nothing,” he grumbled. “Nothing…”

“Whassamatter, MH?” Blademaster asked, nudging MH. “Are you suggesting that we—”

“Get the hell out of here?” MH scoffed. “That’s exactly my point, man! Why should we be here when it all happens? I say we get the hell out of here – and I mean now.”

Blademaster rolled his eyes. “Gee, never knew you were that much of a bastard…”

“Shut it, man… come on, you know you wanna get out of here too…”

“No.”

MH gave a defeated sigh. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

It was small at first, but it got bigger as time passed: above them, the flaming figure of the DC-7B aircraft was rushing fast towards The Disreputable Salamander – and it shows no sign of stopping or slowing down whatsoever. Weasel Overlord sniffed, took one big gulp from a bottle of booze and began to sing. And cry. And jig as well.

“YESTERDAY I WOKE UP SUCKING A *sniff* LEMON, YESTERDAY I WOKE UP *sniff* SUCKING A LEMON, YESTERDAY.” Weasel Overlord paused to take another gulp of her booze, before she carried on. “I WOKE UP SUCKING A LEMON, YESTERDAY I WOKE UP SUCKING… WAAAHHHHH-LEMONNNNNN!”

“Lemons are the shiz,” MH said, certainly not impressed at the little drama that had just unfold before him at all. Blademaster raised an eyebrow, took out a lemon and immediately began sucking it. His face twisted from that of crazy to that of a sourly one.

“What’s so great about sucking lemons, anyway?” he mumbled, his tongue sticking out rigid.


“Arbiter!” DarkTyranitar screamed over the rushing of wind, as his body begun to glow a silvery hue. “Prepare for Light Screen!”

“What?!”

“Prepare for Light Screen!”

“Say that again!”

“Prepare for… oh, never mind.”

Pling.

…..

Silence…

Silence…

A nervous hiccup.


Weasel Overlord blinked her teary eyes in disbelief. Everyone else pretty much did the same thing, albeit they weren’t crying beforehand.

There was no alarm, and no surprises. The plane has disappeared. Just. Like. That. No explosion, no flash… nothing.

The only thing that remained to indicate that the plane had existed a while ago was a flaming propeller – which was flying miles away from the site, probably travelling through an unseen path, heading towards an unlucky passer-by.

“Wa-hey-hey!” Weasel Overlord shouted, and finished the remainder of the bottle. Hinata and Hyperness is a Good Thing stared at her as she began to teeter around like a limp Hoppip, before she clumsily stumbled backwards like a Snorlax that had just had a generous amount of dinner.

“Ouch,” they both said, sympathetically, but Hyperness is a Good Thing continued by adding an ‘E’ after the word ‘ouch’ (i.e. ‘ouchie’).


Blademaster and MH were excited as well, but for a different reason altogether.

They had left the scene just a few seconds ago, now approximately a million dollar richer: for a crate of caviar had just fallen through the van’s roof, apparently from the DC-7B airplane. Being an opportunist they were, they immediately know what they should do.

“But Blade…” MH said after they drove for about five minutes – Blademaster did the driving this time. “Shouldn’t we turn it over to the police or something?”

Blademaster shot him a smug look. “Screw the rules; I have money!” he exclaimed.

* * * * *

Chris 2.0 had sent his belongings to his house in Johto earlier this morning. Of course, said belongings consist of a lot of books, for Chris 2.0 was one who believed in education (plus, the Secret HQ provides him with pretty much everything else that he needed). He was now left with only some paperwork. And those, he will leave it for his predecessor to take care of.

He was about to turn off the light of his room when he noticed a small figure sitting on his chair. He cocked his head slightly to get a better view; it was the Piplup that they had recruited earlier this week. Chris 2.0 decided to leave that for his predecessor to take care of as well.

He met Charles Legend on the hallway; the Lucario was in a terrible state, with bleary eyes and unkempt furs. Charles was mumbling something under his breath. Chris 2.0 smiled, and gave him a hearty handshake. He paused, staring straight into Charles eyes. Charles tried to return the look with serious eyes, but it was hard when his eyes were now half-closed. “Right, this is it then…” Charles nodded, mumbling a ‘yeah’.

“It was good having you on the team – despite a few problems we encountered during the time we were here. Like the Mega Horny and Blademaster case, for example… but, let bygones be bygones, right?” Chris 2.0 paused again, and gave Charles a firm slap on his back, causing the Lucario to jolt up in surprise.

“Sio- Ciana… sianarr… oh, never mind that. See you later, Charles; don’t get yourself into any more trouble, ‘k?” Charles Legend managed to beam a small smile, giving a sloppy salute as he watched Chris 2.0 walking through the door. He was now out of the place, and he would not be coming back anymore.

Charles wasn’t really sad. In fact, he was a little frustrated. It was Chris 2.0’s last day here, and yet he hadn’t managed to accomplish his task here. Oh well, maybe it can wait until another day then.

He patted the unconscious Piplup, who fell to the ground with a thud. It had a manic grin on its apparently cold, dead face.

“Was never fond of you anyway, boy,” Charles Legend said, a similar manic grin forming on his face as well.

* * * * *

Roy Karrde was sitting in front of his computer. The curtain was drawn, and the door was locked. He was up to his usual affair, it seems.

He thinks it is a secret that no one knows – not even the gods, not even the CIA… now the guy who is narrating this story – yet he is unaware that it is a well known fact among those who were around him.

But that didn’t matter now. Twenty miles away from his room, a flaming propeller – call it a tourist if you will, for it has travelled all the way from Kanto – was flying towards his direction at approximately a thousand feet per second. Granted, if one were to calculate the propeller’s speed and the distance to Roy’s room, they will find that it will take the propeller approximately one hundred and five seconds before reaching its destination.

Somehow, one hundred and five seconds wasn’t as quick as it ought to be.

…..

It was only seconds before the impact happened, and Roy Karrde was laughing. Things were going according to plan. Soon, they will be coming: it was all for the greater good; it was a part of the great plan, all of it.

He was about to take a nap when one hundred and five seconds passed. It was time for collision course.

He saw the propeller coming towards his room. And still, he was smiling.

Upon impact, the flaming propeller set off a terrible chain reaction of explosions that snaked their way through the room, destroying apparently everything in the vicinity. The windows shattered into pieces, one by one. The roof collapsed bits by bits, like a house of card falling to the ground. The flames spread out like a drop of ink dropped across the surface of clear water.

And to finish it off – rather out of place, it might be added – a television set was blasted upward – going through the large space that was then the roof – where it then landed unto an unsuspecting Jigglypuff five miles away from the shop. Not to worry; the Jigglypuff was only flattened, and the TV survived the impact.

The explosion caught the attention of Bulbasaur4 and Classycat only a few minutes later – both who were then chatting away on the phone, and they thought that it was a small earthquake that they’re experiencing – after they noticed that smoke was coming from Roy’s room. They dismissed it as a small accident of some sort, until the room’s door was then blasted from its hinge, burning with a bright blue flame. Only then did they panic.

They only dared to enter the burnt room once the flame had died down a bit. They shakily searched among the charred ruin, hoping to find Roy Karrde still alive and well under the remains of the room. But try as they might, they couldn’t find Roy Karrde anywhere among the burnt down ruins. He was gone, gone with the flame.

They cried all day, mourning for the loss of their friend.

Guess MH was right after all.

* * * * *

DarkTyranitar’s face was scrunched up with pure determination as he focused his energy on the Teleport, making sure not to mess things up and get themselves stuck in the zone of ‘the nothing between the everything’. It was a demanding job, to teleport the whole plane and all, that a few parts of the plane got sucked into the zone of ‘the nothing between the everything’ in the process. The Light Screen was there to ensure that both DarkTyranitar would remain intact, lest anything should happen during the teleportation.

“YYYAAARRRGGGHHHH… oof.” DarkTyranitar groaned, as a stray stick crashed on his face. He looked up, only to see that there was already a hole in The Arbiter’s Light Screen. Before he could point that out to The Arbiter, a figure then flew towards him.

Thunk. “Ooh.” Then, it was a large rock. He saw another figure coming….

“Moo!” “Ouch!” Then, it was a cow. And then, there was another one…

Ker-boom. “What the—” It was then a C4 explosive. And finally…

Splat. “Waarrgh!” A dung beetle who just had it fill then struck his face, and that was when he lost his focus. It took him a few seconds before he regained control of himself, and quickly, he began to create more Light Screen over the one The Arbiter had coated over what was left of the plane.

“Uh… Tar?” The Arbiter said meekly.

“Yeah?” DarkTyranitar snapped irritably.

“…mountain’s approaching.”

DarkTyranitar’s face went blank. “For real?”

“I’m serious,” The Arbiter replied. His face was blank as well.

Right there, lying in front of them was their worst fear: a mountain that seemed to climb up for miles and miles, made out of solid rocks. It was too late for another Teleport, and they wouldn’t get to change the plane’s course of flight in time – not that the thing that they were now riding could really be called a plane, anyway.

“Well, I’ll be darned,” DarkTyranitar said.

Both then realized that it was somehow too late for the ‘life flashing before your eyes’ moment. Maybe that was a sign that they were still going to make it then? Or could it be that the whole ‘life flashing before your eyes’ was just a hoax? Either way, they both resignedly sighed in unison, and looked forward for the inevitable collision.

The mountain – somehow, against all logic – burst into flames upon impact. To say that the mountain shattered upon the impact was quite incorrect; in fact, it seemed as if the plane was ripping its way through the mountain rather than smashing it into pieces. DarkTyranitar and The Arbiter exchanged looks, but said nothing as the plane then went skidding across the ground, where it stopped a few moments later.

This was followed with an awkward silence. It wasn’t the type of silent found in isolated places; rather, it was the silence from a hundred men, eyes heavy down on the victim of the situation.

This was exactly the case. DarkTyranitar and The Arbiter warily peeked out from the mess that was the plane, where they found themselves facing about a circle of a hundred or so humans – African, perhaps, based on their dark skin – all with an awestruck expression on their face. Most of them were not wearing any shirt, although some of them were clad in muddy tees. They all wore faded jeans, and were barefooted. Besides them, a plaster mountain was burning down to the ground.

“You know…” The Arbiter whispered to DarkTyranitar. “I don’t understand why, of all the places, you would teleport us down here in Africa…”

“It began in Afrika,” was DarkTyranitar’s answer.

“Humanity?” The Arbiter hazarded.

“No… a song from The Chemical Brothers.”

The Arbiter blinked, gave a defeated sigh – for he was tired of trying to actually understand what kind of fellow DarkTyranitar was – and turned his attention towards the circle of the humans. Somehow, he could hear a hushed voice behind the crowd, though he could barely make out the words.

“Out of the frying pan,” The Arbiter said meekly. “And into the fire.”

“Out of the tiger’s mouth,” DarkTyranitar said, in a smaller voice. “And into the crocodile’s mouth.”

The Arbiter decided not to argue with DarkTyranitar’s choice of words and instead tried to work themselves out on the mess. “Err, hello,” he said awkwardly. “We’re travellers, and we’re kinda lost here, as you can see…”

The humans watched them with uncertain look, before one them came forward and pointed an AK-47 towards The Arbiter. He was shouting something in a language unfamiliar to the Umbreon; though he couldn’t understand a word the human says, it was obvious by the tone that the human was very angry.

“Look, I don’t think it’s necessary to…” The Arbiter began, but he was rewarded with a butt stroke, landed right between his eyes. The man then turned his attention towards DarkTyranitar, waving the rifle madly and shouting approximately the same words to the Magnezone.

DarkTyranitar threw both of his detachable magnet fingers on the ground. “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! We’re from Malaysia!”

“Malaysia?” the man asked, lowering his rifle. He pondered this for one second, before his face then brightened with a sense of realisation. “Ah, Malaysia!” He gave a thumb up, and went towards the rest of the humans. “Malaysia, Malaysia!” he exclaimed, receiving a chorus of “Malaysia, truly Asia”, and more thumbs up.

“Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut, cut!” Cried someone from behind the circle of humans. The humans shrugged – some grinned – and they then eased and slowly they parted away, leaving an equally confused Magnezone and Umbreon behind to digest what had just took place before them.

“Ehhh?” The Arbiter said; he was now having a terrible headache, which was further worsen by his confusion over what he had just witnessed. “Okay, DarkTyranitar. I’m quite lost here… are we at Hollywood, by any chance?” When the circle of humans was dissipated, they noticed that a few camera crews were now strolling about, as well as an irate man who was gulping down a handful of pills.

“Lost?” DarkTyranitar chuckled. “We’re not lost; this is Seychelles Island we’re talking about!” When it appeared that The Arbiter was still clueless, he added, “There are a few Malayan people living in here since the 1800s, you know?”

“Oh… okay,” The Arbiter sighed, not really too keen to get a grip on this rather absurd situation. “For a second there, I thought this was going to be something like Lost.”

“What, with the polar bear and all?” DarkTyranitar made a mental scratching of a head. “Don’t really know what happened in that series there… eh, never mind about that. We’re safe here, dude.”

“How safe?” The Arbiter asked.

“Safe as a safe, I suppose.” DarkTyranitar scanned the place that they had landed. It was far more civilized than he imagined. There were a lot of houses not far from their place, and he could see what looked like a shopping complex further up the cluster of houses and other buildings, bathed under the bright sun and the clear, blue sky.

“Mm, it’s not bad,” he said after a while. “Dude.” He turned to face The Arbiter, who was still deciding whether to be glad that he had survived, or to lament at the fact that they were stuck in the middle of nowhere. “We’re gonna have a good time here. Don’t worry, we’ll work things out. It’s gonna fun staying here.”

“Oh, nice,” The Arbiter said tartly. “Well, if getting yourself stranded in an island in the middle of nowhere is your idea of fun, then fine…”

As they were contemplating on their fate, they suddenly noticed that it had gotten dark somehow. “Hi, hi,” a voice spoke behind them. They turned around, and they found out that it was a male human – he had a dark tan, but not as dark as the ones the saw earlier – who was smiling as if he was some old friend of theirs. Unlike the rest of the humans that they had just saw, he was clad in more civilized clothing – khaki trousers, a beige vest, a pair of boots and a wide brimmed hat – and a well kept face, decorated with a thin film of moustache. He patted The Arbiter and DarkTyranitar on their shoulders (or in DarkTyranitar’s case, whichever of his body parts that counted as a shoulder) and leaned closer so that his face was just inches from theirs.

“Yes… how can we help you, sir?” The Arbiter asked uncertainly.

“I just saw you two lads falling from the sky… and I thought, ‘cor, now that’s something you don’t see everyday…’” The man spoke in a British accent, and his hands moved animatedly with each word that he spoke. “And so I promised myself: that whoever gets out of the wreck alive, deserve a good touring of this place.”

“Um, excuse me,” The Arbiter interrupted. “We are we exactly?”

“Oh, you mean you don’t know then?” the man asked, apparently quite surprised at the question. “Well, why bother with explaining? Let’s go and see if yourself, then. Come on boys!” Before The Arbiter and DarkTyranitar could protest, they found themselves being dragged towards a nearby restaurant by the man.


According to the human, they were now on Seychelles Island, a small island a few thousand miles from India. That put The Arbiter at ease, for the alternatives are worse.

The menu was pleasant to the eyes: he was glad that there wasn’t anything such as ‘caterpillar paste’ or ‘iguana steak’ mentioned in the menu; in fact, there’s even a lot of Western food available. He was pleasantly surprised to find a few Pokemon roaming in the restaurant as well: there was an Alakazam that was eating soup, a Glalie that was eating an ice cream, and a Snorlax that was eating the table – much to the pleading of the bartender. A group that consists of a Wobbufet, an Arbok, and a Weezing was dancing along to the song played on the jukebox (it was the song ‘Idioteque’ by Radiohead).

He ordered a steak and a mango juice. Both DarkTyranitar and the man ordered fried rice and orange juice.

“Allow me to properly introduce myself,” the man said, pocketing something in his pocket. He produced two cards and handed them each to The Arbiter and DarkTyranitar. “Ahmad Seri Khan, the most reliable tourist guide you can find on this island – approved by the Seychelles’s Island Tourist Board, and the Kanto Region, the Johto Region, and the Hoenn region’s Board of Humans and Pokemon Friendship as well. Also, if you’re interested,” he added in a whisper. “I also give out loans too – for special rate!”

“Can I ask one question, Mister Khan?” The Arbiter asked. Mister Khan nodded. “What was that plaster mountain doing down here?”

“Oh, that?” Mister Khan gave a throaty laughter. “We’re doing a little bit of a small-budget movie, see. It’s about one man against a hundred others – caught in a civil war in Kenya. We still don’t have a title for it, sadly.”

“Interesting… and I was wondering what was up with those AK-47.”

“Well… I was thinking.” Mister Khan rested his chin on his knuckles. “Whether both of you are interested in starring in the movie… as extras, of course – but think about it: one man, two Pokemon, and 3 desire – freedom, love, and… and…” He waved his hand irritably. “Something else. So, what do you say, huh?”

The Arbiter pondered upon the given offer. “I haven’t had any prior experience on acting… and besides.” He looked at DarkTyranitar. “We’ll be going back to Shinou pretty soon, right?”

“Well,” DarkTyranitar said, after he had finished reading the cards (there were just too much words crammed on the card that suggested that this Mister Khan does more than just a tourist guide and a money lender). “At least we’re not stuck with some Rincewind-alike for our tourist guide, that’s a good thing.” He then realized that he hasn’t yet answered The Arbiter’s question. “Oh, not too fond on acting myself… but, nah, I don’t think we’ll be going off so soon.”

Mister Khan laughed, and then stopped abruptly. He was genuinely puzzled. “Rincewind-who? Come again?” DarkTyranitar sighed, and then began to spoke in a language that was unknown to The Arbiter – but different from that spoken by the AK-47 wielding man, he noted – and it went on like that through the rest of the lunch.


So here I am, The Arbiter wrote in his journal as DarkTyranitar and Mister Khan continued to chat, their food left untouched. In a tropical island, somewhere in Africa, with a Magnezone that – strangely enough – is named DarkTyranitar: he has a bad habit of combining two words into one, as you can see, as well as a human that seemed to be determined enough to ensure that we visit every single place on this island, down until the smallest mole hill. The Arbiter paused, and smiling, he wrote, At least, all is well, and I’m still alive. And to me, that is what really matters.

P/S: I missed you like the desert miss the rain (you know who you are!)
Yours, etc.

He closed his journal, sighed with relief, and finished the remainder of his mango juice.


A/N (This is not a breakdown):
-Wow, three pages for one shot? My, how times have changed… (or, it may be because this one shot is approximately 4 times the size of Gone DP!... or it may be because of the chats, heheh)
-Initially, this one shot was meant to be quite dark. But at one point, I found it to be a bit… too dark, I suppose. So I went ahead with the random-ness formula. It makes me feel real good writing it, really.
-All typoes in the MSN chat is done purposely. Really.
-Ah yes, regarding 2.0 departure in this one shot… well, I have planned it a few months before the TPM Chris 2.0 announced his departure from ASB, see – but of course, I didn’t plan it all in details; I only plan that he’ll be leaving Charles and the rest of the crews. That’s it; kinda like a coincidence, really (btw, we’ll miss ya, Chris! ;_; )
-And in case anyone is interested, the answer for the Gone DP! A/N questions are:
-Excerpt from Still Life by Iron Maiden (If properly translated, the words that DarkTyranitar spoke is “Hmm, hmmm. What ho, said the things with three heads. Don’t meddle with things you don’t understand.”)
-Five Man Army by Massive Attack ((Money, money, money) Root of all evil…)
-Some might have already been aware that I really, really like music. Not just one genre: I kinda listen to a diverse spectrum of the music genre (and currently, still in the quest to find more music to listen to). So…here it is then: the (un)official soundtrack of Gone DP! and Fellow DPian:

Soundtrack (early version – may subject to changes):

Gone DP!
Still Life – Iron Maiden
Smack My Bitch Up – The Prodigy
Five Man Army – Massive Attack

Fellow DPian
The Bends – Radiohead
Do It Again – The Chemical Brothers
By The Way – Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Lithium – Nirvana
Chop Suey! – System of a Down
Everything In Its Right Place – Radiohead


Character Soundtrack:
DarkTyranitar
Revelations – Iron Maiden
Blademaster
White and Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovic
Crystal Tears
Enemy – Disturbed
Hyperness is a Good Thing
Leave Out All The Rest – Linkin Park
Hinata
Sugar – System of a Down
Charles Legend
Loser – Beck
Chris 2.0
Everyday I Love You Less And Less – Kaiser Chief
Mega Horny/MH
Super Mario Bros Theme Song
The Arbiter
Starlight - Muse
Roy Karrde
Rock ‘n Roll Princess – The Scanty
Weasel Overlord
Idioteque – Radiohead

I might as well give out explanation why those songs are chosen, but… perhaps some other time, desu?
-And yes, I have already planned a continuation for this one shot! It’ll (hopefully) be posted somewhere between April and June next year, if God wills.
-Alright, to get into Christmas spirit, how about a poem? It goes:

Hohoho!
Merry christmas!
There’s a Pineco,
In the pyjamas;
When he explode, he goes ‘kar-ba-bo’
Someone please, get a doctor and a nurse!
It all happened, under the mistletoe,
My head feels as if it’s about to burst

-Hope you enjoyed the one shot as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading! (whoever you are )

[Sike Saner]

“Nah. It’s just that I feel like having some cokes. And while you’re at it, gimme some mentos too!”

Now that's a recipe for fun!

Blademaster stared long and hard at the device, and eventually said “…”

“???” DarkTyranitar asked.

“!!!” MH remarked.

XD


Another thing I liked was the fact that that story happened to contain appearances by some of my favorite species of Pokémon, such as Weezing, Wobbuffet, and Glalie.

I also really liked all the various references in that story, one of my favorites being this reference to Radiohead:

“YESTERDAY I WOKE UP SUCKING A *sniff* LEMON, YESTERDAY I WOKE UP *sniff* SUCKING A LEMON, YESTERDAY.” Weasel Overlord paused to take another gulp of her booze, before she carried on. “I WOKE UP SUCKING A LEMON, YESTERDAY I WOKE UP SUCKING… WAAAHHHHH-LEMONNNNNN!”

“Lemons are the shiz,” MH said, certainly not impressed at the little drama that had just unfold before him at all. Blademaster raised an eyebrow, took out a lemon and immediately began sucking it. His face twisted from that of crazy to that of a sourly one.

“What’s so great about sucking lemons, anyway?” he mumbled, his tongue sticking out rigid.

Plus, I thought that it was funny that he chose to literally suck a lemon there. XD

[darktyranitar]

Sike: Yeah, a recipe for fun indeed. Too bad there's no mentos, no? (for the record, I haven't tried the said recipe, but I heard stories about it ^^. Oh, and it's written in Wikipedia as well)

To be honest, I was actually thinking of Origin of Storms when I was writing the restaurant scene, so... ehehe.

Yeah, I stole a lot of ideas did quite a lot of reference for this one shot... shame on me Oh, and I only know that the phrase 'sucking a lemon' refers to a sad face only a few weeks before I wrote that particular line. I always thought that the phrase refers to the act of sucking a lemon due to depression or something when I listened to Everything In Its Right Place. Hm.

(Can you dig this, sucka?! --> )

Thanks for dropping by, btw

[Bulbasaur4]

I found it really amusing. XD XD Especially Weasel, but that might be because she's a fellow moderator (and apparently a fellow Growlithe? XD Does that mean we're related?!)

The only thing I didn't like was the portrayl of myself, at least- when it said I cried because Roy Karrde went up in flames. >.>;; I'd be more likely to call up Weasel and be like, "Shiiiizzzz!! TAKE ME WITH YOU! SAVE ME! I'M STUCK HERE!!"
But the last explosion was still purdy funny. XD

I also enjoy Blademaster's exclamations. :3

Yay for reading!! *dance dance*

[darktyranitar]

Kalah: Hey, thanks for reading

Yes, Weasel's a fellow... hm, wait? Did I used the term moderator anywhere in this one shot? I think not. Oh well, she did give the impression of a moderator... so yeah.

And yes, you're both... wait, related, you say? Hm... *jot down for future reference* Maybe. Who knows?

Haha, I was tempted to write that line too. Well, substitute the call for help with dancing around like this --> , and that'll do it. Oh, I dunno... I figured that even though Roy is... um, loli-ful (for lack of better terms), well, he'd have at least a teeny tiny bit of goodness in him, eh?


...no? (Or... another interesting theory is that with Roy's disappearance/death (whichever you see fits), you won't be having someone to pick on. Which kinda sucked, eheh) Hm... yeah, perhaps I should have substitute it with a dance... but! I already have a plan for that in the next installment... hehehe

And don't you just love Blade?

[Charles Legend]

Yo Faiz, as funny as ever, I love the part where Ricky told Chris Charles punched a gas can... XD Btw who did Chris Leave in Charge? Anyways the Rest of the fic was just as funny.

Roy as a Luxray, Now I did not see that Coming but it fits him niclly as dose the fact that Grey is an Umberon...

Say Faiz I just thought of something was Charles just making up the part about being on the winning side or is something like a war going to happen?

~Charles Legend

[darktyranitar]

Charles: Thanks man

Yeap, Roy's a Luxray, and Grey's an Umbreon. Chris' replacement is... umm... is...

(...I dunno! Well, I do, actually, but let's just keep the guessing game going, okay? Although I suspect you can guess who it is ^^)

And about the last part, hm...

(Spoiler:) Hey, hey; think I'll give it away that easily? ^^ Well, okay... something... big is coming, yes. Something that... you'll find out in the next installment - what would it be? War? Apocalypse? Madness? Insanity? A combination of all? Whatever it is, stay tuned, folks!