Out of the frying pan (pokemon)

[pokemon4eva]

Characters: Mimic, age 18(Dressed like a magician(no facial hair); Jeriko, age 17(Sweatshirt, Sweatpants(all red); Prof. Pine(weirld looking scientist), age 44
Plot: The journy to the top by two friends and the obsticles they face.
Chapter 0
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"Hurry or we'll be late!" exclamed Jeriko. "Don't worry it wont take me that long to get ready." stated Mimic. As Mimic gets ready Jeriko waits impatiently to go to Prof. Pines to get his first pokemon.
~~~~~~~~
"Ok i'm done," Mimic said. "Took long enough your like a friken women,"Jeriko groaned,"Where'd you go..." A note was on the door saying I'm half way there idiot. " WHAT!"Jeriko screamed. He grabs his rucksack and runs out the door.
~~~~~~~~~
"Ok...ok i'm here,' Jeriko panted. "Took long enough," Mimic laughed. A weird guys walks up during Jeriko's scorn. "So, you two want pokemon,"Prof. Pine asked. "Yes," the two say in unison. "Ok these are my last ones,(take care of those two guys(he wispered to the pokeballs))" Prof. Pine says.

End of chapter Zero.

[pokemon4eva]

Chapter 1 part 1.1
"Majestic Fusion of Fire and Water"-Iritadom Ace(Frontier Brain of the Battle Dome)

(Jeriko's POV)
"Mimic let's see our pokemon," I stated clearly.
"Sure, but lets make it a contest!" he grined.
~
"Pokeball Go!" We both called.
Growlethe came out of Jeriko's Permier Ball and Psyduck came out of Mimic's Luxuary Ball.
"NO FARE!" I Shouted,"YOU GOT A WATER TIPE AND I GOT A FIRE!"
"Water Gun," Mimic says.
"Growleth use agility," I say.
Growlethe; HP: 32 END(endurance): 92
Psyduck; HP: 32 END: 95
"Quickly use Rain Dance," He states.
"Extreme Speed Growlethe," I shout.
Growlethe; HP: 32 END: 88
Psyduck; HP: 29 END: 91

Who Will Win wait and find out!

P.S. I need comments
P.S.S. I forgot to mention that I will be using next species pokemon(ex. Mimie Jr.)

[Andrew]

Dear Pokemon4Eva, welcome to TPM's Fanfiction board, please aquaint yourself with the Rules and Guidelines.

Congrats on your first Fic, but it really does need a great deal of work. Have a look around to get some ideas.

[Mewfour]

I would love to post my true thoughts on this.

I wouldn't like getting banned (again!), though.

Read around a bit, and you;ll get a good idea on how to properly formulate and write a story. Because everything that could go wrong in a fic, has.

[mr_pikachu]

(You know, you guys could actually give some direct writing advice in addition to telling him to look around...)

Well, this is an unusual start, pokemon4eva. We don't see many fics around here that incorporate statistics like that, so such an inclusion is a start for originality. The two Pokemon you chose are also fairly unique choices, so that was pretty good.

You should probably work a bit on your editing, though. It's rarely a good sign when the spelling of a name like "Growlithe" changes each time it's used. Punctuation is also a pretty big issue that makes these initial posts difficult to read. Take a bit more time to review your writing before you post it - and as a general rule, if you're not sure that you've spelled or stated something correctly, check! There are plenty of websites and books for that.

This fic has some potential, so I look forward to seeing how it grows. Put some forethought into your writing, and make it as strong as it can be! ^_^