Ho ho freakin' ho, getcher damn present, dh13.

[Mewfour]

Now, I *was* planning on posting this happy little rendition of Jingle Bells for dh13, but I figured even THAT was too obscene for TPM. IT is Christmas afterall, so I think I ought to tone it down a bit.

Neways, here is a not-as-lewid short I plucked fromt he land of rotting corpse-fics, quite possibly the most vomit-inducing Megaman fic TPM has ever seen.

And now, without futher ago, I present to dh13:

Rockman and freinds go on a Hike



One year after Rockman finally kills off Wily (hey, he almost did it in Rockman 7...don't bother me with Isaac-San's "Three-Laws"), Bass and Treble, along with other various Wily Robots, have joined up with Dr. Light and Dr. Cossack.

However, after months of labour helping Dr. Light, Rockman suggests to Roll, Blues and Bass that they go on a relaxing one-day weekend hike.
----------

Rockman: Ahh! Nothing beats the great oudoors!
Bass: Oh, shut up, Rock! Just because you finally killed off Wily doesn't mean we're freinds!

Rush snarls furiously at Bass' comment. However, a sharp roar from Treble instantly silences the Mega-dog.

Roll: Please you two, stop fighting, okay?
Blues: Aww...but no fighting's no fun. Neither is this hike. I wanna go blowing stuff up.
Bass: Now you're speaking my language, Blues!

Bass morphs with Treble into TreBass, and speeds off into the air.

Blues: Yahoo!

Blues begins his teleportation sequence, when Roll stops him

Roll: Blues! But you promised me you'd protect me on this hike!

Roll begins to formulate fake tears into her eyes

Blues: Oh, fine.

Blues grumbles

Rockman: Well, where should we set up camp? How about...over there?

Rockman points to a shaded grassy clearing

Roll: I love it!
Blues: Needs a little of the 'Blue's fine touches'..

Blues morphs his hand into his Arm Cannon, and fires a blast into the clearing. When the smoke clears, all that is left of the clearing is singed grass and burnt trees.

Blues: Much better.
Roll: I think I'll sleep in my own tent...

Suddenly, TreBass lands right in between of Rockman and Roll, and splits up into Bass and Treble.

Bass: Ah, much better! Nothing like killing off the robot clone of Sadaam Hussein and becoming dictator of Iraq...Right Treble, Dictator of China?

Treble lets out a joyful bark

Rockman: Bass! You-you did something good! You're not pure evil after all!

Rockman moves towards Bass. Bass points his Arm Cannon at Rockman.

Bass: Don't come any closer, Blue freak! I never do good! I only do Evil!
Rockman: But Bass- Hussein, and his robot clone, have been ruling in tyranny and corrupted power over Iraq for thousands of years! You *did* do something good!
Bass: And guess who replaced him, with even *more* tyranny and corrupted power?
Rockman: ... Nevermind...

Blues takes off his backpack, and reaches into it. He pulls his hand out holding six tiny capsules. Blues then lobs one into his custom-made clearing. As soon as the capsule hits the ground, a poof of smoke pours from it. Whent he smoke clears, a tent now stands where the capsule used to be.

Treble barks again.

Bass: You're right Treble, what a crummy rip off of Dragon Ball...
Blues: Oh, quit whining, Bass, or I'll give you the damaged one.

Bass looks around the area. Nothing but trees and singing birds as far as his optical recorders could see.

Suddenly, Bass motions to Treble. Treble leaps onto Bass, merging into TreBass again. With a large blast into the ground from TreBass, a large hole is burrowed into the ground. TreBass floats into the air, and blasts a large ring around his section of the clearing, starting the ring with the hole. After a short rumbling in the ground, lava spurts up from the crevasse, and into the grooves of TreBass' ring, creating a large circle of lava. TreBass snatches a capsule from Blues, and tosses it into the middle of the ring. With a newly-formed tent in the middle of a moat of lava, TreBass flies up into the air and completely levels everything around the tent in his section of the clearing, into a minature desolate wasteland.

TreBass: Much better.

TreBass splits up into Bass and Treble again.

Blues tosses a capsule apeice to Roll and Rockman, and tosses two strange-looking ones aside. The other two, after the smoke and all, form into two small dog houses, one for Treble and one for Rush. Rush barks happily and runs inside his house. Rush then pokes his face out, happily watching his company. Treble only growls miserably.

Bass then forms his Arm Cannon again, and levels everything around Treble's house. Treble then yips happily, and runs inside his house.

Roll: Those two are soooooo morbid...

Just as Rockman, Blues and Roll form their tents, the air suddenly gets chilly.

Blues: Wow, it's dark already. I can hardly see anything...
Roll: Maybe because you're still wearing your visor, Blues...?
Rockman: Blues is right though, it is fairly dark outside. Let's get some sleep.

Bass, Rockman and Roll amble into their tents. Blues, for some reason, in crashing into everything, unable to see where he is going.

Blues: I can't see a thing out here!
Roll: Why don't you just take your visor off then, Blues?
Blues: But...but my visor's cool! I just wouldn't be Blues without my visor!
Roll: Whatever. Goodnight.

And so everyone, with the exception of Blues, is snuggled up happily in their tents.

Rockman is sleeping peacefully inside his tent, when he hears some laoud barking outside.

Rockman: No doubt it's Rush and Treble getting in a fight again...

Rockman wearily picks up his helmet and wanders outside. what he sees then stays with him for the rest of his life.

Treble is crouched down outside his dog house, Rush is right behind him, or at least his hind legs are.

Rockman quickly zips into his tent.

Rockman: I had no idea Treble was female...

Morning comes, and Rockman emerges from his tent again. Treble and Rush seem to have gone back into their respective dog houses. Something seemed awry to Rockman. It was complete silence. Usually, when Bass woke up, he would instantly go into his demonic persona, and would either try to blow everything in sight up, or drone on and on about how incredibly evil he was.

Then, Rockman hears a short, faint giggle.

Rockman: Roll? Is that you?

Rockman goes over to his sister's tent, and taps on the skeletal rods. No answer.

Rockman: Roll?

Rockman gingerly opens Roll's tent, only to find that...

Rockman: It's...empty?

Rockman froze. This wasn't like the heavy sleeper he called Roll to be up this early. Suddenly, Roll heard that same Roll-like giggle. Rockman looked around, and saw the source of his sister's voice. It was coming from Bass' tent.

Rockman groaned.

Rockman: Roll, I know Bass owes you twenty bucks...but stealing from his tent? Dr, Light programmed you better than that....

Rockman sighed, and walked over to Bass' tent. Since Bass was an early riser, and was usually trying to terrorize anything living in sight as soon as he woke up, Rockman knew that it was just Roll in that tent.
Tip-toeing over Bass' lava moat, Rockman approached his former arch-rival's tent.

Roll's voice: That's not all I'll take from you, Bass...

Rockman grimaced. Roll was stealing from Bass. And, as his programming to uphold justice dictated to him, Rockman ripped open the tent doors.

Rockman: Alright Roll, what are you-

Rockman's words were cut short when he saw who else was in the tent with Roll, and what they were doing. Roll and a helmet-less Bass, snuggled under the covers, without any tops on whatsoever, lips locked together, froze when they saw Rockman looking at them. Roll gave a shrill shreik, and pulled the covers closer to her chest. With a free hand, Roll grabbed Bass' helmet and helt that too to her chest. Bass simply stared at Rockman, dumbfounded and completely lost for words.
Rockman quickly ran away as far as he could from the tent, trying desperately to erase that image from his memory banks.

Rockman: I live with a horde of bloody perverts...

Just then, Blues, from out of a tall tree in the foliage, falls down and crashes right in front of Rockman.

Blues: Dude! I still can't find my tent!
Rockman: Whatever...Good thing you didn't wander into Treble's dog house...Treble's a female you know.

Blues stood up

Blues: But...But Bass said that Treble's a guy...

Rockman was about to speak, when he decided he shouldn't say anything about everything for at least seven years after the previous events... and especially after what he just learned from his brother.

Rockman: That does it. I'm outta' here.

Rockman teleports back to Dr. Light's lab, where he will promptly ask the good Doctor to erase his memory archives completely.

-End.

[dratinihaunter13]

thanks for the present mewfour =) don't know much about megaman but i started to get the basic personalities of the characters while reading. also thanks for not giving me that jingle bells rendition, even though the link is there anyway, wonder how and why that got there . hope you had a fun christmas.