My OLD Orange Island Episode

[347Studboy]

You know what? I've had this idea floating in my head for a looong time, but I never really thought about posting it. I don't even have a dialogue, so don't think this is gonna be all that great. Just bear with me, and tell me what you think. Or, maybe someone with more talent could "officialy" write it for me. Now, this episode takes place in the Orange Island saga, before Charizard started obeying Ash. Oh, and we all know that the Team Rocket boss is Giovanni, but since they have yet to call him that on the show, I refer to him as "the boss". Oh well, here goes:

Title: Devolution Revolution! (or something less corny)

We join our hero, Ash, as he is battling a trainer... for the sake of this guide, his name is Jack. Anyway, they are fighting on the side of a big rock wall, which is down a ways from the cliff of a mountain, on Rainbow Island. Jack is using a Machamp, and Ash is using Pikachu. Ash has Pikachu use Thunderbolt, and it hits! Machamp is hurt, and before Pikachu can hit it again, Jack has Machamp use its Mega Punch! Pikachu dodges with its Agility, and Machamp accidentally hits the rock wall... suddenly, the battle stops, as everyone hears a strange rumbling noise from the top. From out of the sky, a rock hits Pikachu square in the head! Pikachu is knocked out cold. It turns out that the stone is a Thunderstone, and Pikachu (while unconscious) evolved into Raichu!

Ash and co. run to the Pokémon Center, and after the checkup, Nurse Joy informs the group that Raichu is going to be out cold for some time... almost a whole day. But, it will recover. When Ash mentions the Thunderstone, Nurse Joy tells him that the island is called Rainbow Island because of all the different stones that are found in the mountains, and that Machamp's Mega Punch must have knocked one loose. Ash then recalls aloud the time Pikachu refused to evolve to fight Lt. Surge. Upon hearing this, she informs him that when Raichu wakes up and realizes it isn't a Pikachu, there is a slight chance that it will be... well, depressed, and it could have some serious reprocussions on its behavior. Ash is terribly worried, and doesn't know what to do.

The co. heads to the waiting room. Misty tries to comfort Ash, and Tracey looks around, trying to take his own mind off these matters. His eyes wander to the T.V. on a nearby table, and he sees a news flash... a new product has been released to the public, by Doctor Aidenbush, called "Devolution Spray" (yes, taken straight from the card game ). Its effect is to "devolve" a Pokémon back into its original form. When Tracey sees this, and finds out where one can purchase such a product, he very happily informs Ash, and they run out of the Pokémon Center, telling Nurse Joy that they'll be back.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket has been spying on our heros, and decide to grab Raichu now while its even more powerful. But before they can do that, Meowth reminds them that a Raichu with a broken spirit probably won't perform as well, using themselves as an example. Jessie is tempted to agree, and James suspects Meowth has his reasons as a Pokémon to want to let Raichu alone. However, the truth is that Meowth has a plan of his own. He wants to steal some of the Devolution Spray, and when Jessie and James ask why, he quickly says that they could use it to devolve the rest of Ash's Pokémon when he's not expecting it, so they can finally beat him. But, as Meowth thinks to himself, that's not really why he wants it....

Ash and co. don't make it too far out of the Pokémon Center before they notice a crowd of people on the sidewalk. When Ash tries to squeeze through, someone yells at him for "cutting in line". Ash asks what he means, and he replies by saying that this is the line... to buy Devolution Spray. Ash and his friends can't believe that they have to wait so long, and begin to feel despaired. But Ash is determined to get it, and after asking other people if he can take their place (and getting rejected each time), he finally gives up, and makes his way toward the back of the line... until he runs into a familar face: Jack!

Team Rocket is in the line too, a ways behind Ash and his friends. But when Jessie and James are complaining about the long lines, they realize that they don't hear a familiar voice joining them... Meowth is gone!

Up ahead in the line, Meowth is sneaking around, thinking to himself about his plan. It turns out that Meowth is just jealous of the boss's Persian, and he misses being the "top cat". So, he figures that if he gets some of this Devolution Spray, he can use it to devolve Persian, and he can beat it in a battle, winning the boss's respect again. He laughs to himself, imagining being in the boss's lap again... no dirty images.

Meanwhile, Jack explains that he's in the line to see his Uncle Aidenbush... THE Doctor Aidenbush! When Ash learns that Jack is related to the good doctor, he asks if it would be possible to get some spray for himself. Jack says he can't do that, because it wouldn't be fair to the people waiting in line. But when Jack realizes that Pikachu (Raichu) is in serious mental jeopardy, he decides he owes Ash anyway, and takes them toward the front of the line. However, they don't get far before they hear a buch of people yelling... suddenly, Meowth runs by, carrying a large sack marked "Devolution Spray"!

Meowth runs by Jessie and James without seeing them, yelling that the bag is a lot heavier than he thought it would be, and they stare after him, wondering how he was able to steal so much so easily. James concludes that Meowth is better off without Jessie always yelling and hitting him, to which Jessie does both to James. Anyway, when Ash and co. run past Jessie and James without noticing them either, they decide to join the melée, and start running too... but toward the blimp.

Ash isn't sure he can catch up with Meowth on foot, so he asks Tracey to send out Scyther. Scyther comes out, and Tracey has it use Quick Attack. Meowth overhears, and waits for Scyther to come close, then stops short, turns around, and uses his Tail Whip, knocking it off balance, and causing it to fly into a telephone pole. Ouch. Tracey calls Scyther back, and Ash decides he has no choice... he sends out Charizard, his only flier. Wuh-oh. Ash asks Charizard to use Take Down on Meowth, but as usual, Charizard just uses Flamethrower on Ash, doesn't find any nearby food, and starts to nap. Misty suggests that if they get the devolution spray, they should use it on Charizard to make it a Charmander again, so it will obey again. Ash mutters his disagreement, continuing his denial that Charizard hates him, and claiming that someday Charizard will start respecting him. Suddenly, Jessie and James show up with the blimp, lower a rope ladder, and Meowth climbs aboard. Team Rocket says their motto as they begin to take off, and thinking quickly, Ash sends out Bulbasaur to use Razor Leaf on Team Rocket's blimp... popping the balloon, and tearing the sack. Well, Team Rocket starts up a jet propelled system, claiming that this time, they thought ahead... then, a rock falls out of the sack meowth was carrying! Poor Meowth, the sack was a decoy! No wonder he got out so easily... the rock hits Charizard on the head, and with a bruise, Charizard decides to fly up and teach Team Rocket not to mess with a giant fire-breathing dragon. He uses his Flamethrower, which of course ignites the jet fuel, and sends Team Rocket blasting off once more.

Jack runs up to see the whole thing, and hands over a bottle of the real stuff, also giving the trio his uncle's gratitude for trying so heroically to stop the bad guys. The gang heads to the Pokémon Center, and spray Raichu just as it's waking up. Ash and Pikachu are happily reunited, and none too soon, too.

Later, while Nurse Joy is doing one last checkup on Pikachu, Tracey sees the news on the T.V. again... it turns out any Pokémon devolved with Devolution Spray that evolved naturally will stay go back to being evolved after a short amount of time, but if the Pokémon was evolved using a stone, it will stay devolved... at least until the trainer and the Pokémon are ready for it to evolve. How fortunate for our friends! Due to these recent findings, the spray is taken off the market... for now.

Team Rocket is upset that they lost again, and Meowth claims that he wants to take a walk to contemplate their latest loss... but secretly, it turns out he was in fact able to steal just enough spray to use on Persian!

Several months later... Team Rocket is revisiting the base by Viridian City (it has been rebuilt since that mysterious Pokémon that flew off destroyed it), and as Jessies and James check out (barely avoiding getting fired), Meowth sticks around... when the boss isn't looking, Meowth sprays Persian! Persian is surprised at first, and when the boss turns around, he sees the can on the ground and realizes what happened! Angered, the boss kicks one of the Meowths out, and cuddles and comforts the other one... but he kicked out the wrong one! Looks like Meowth wins this time! That is, until the spray wears off....

[Chris 2.1]

ah. new to fic writing? i thought so. The big thing is this is either an episode guide or a fanfic, and it looks as though it's an epi guide. Write it in the past tense,

eg: 'Jack has Machamp use its Mega Punch! Pikachu dodges with its Agility, and Machamp accidentally hits the rock wall... suddenly, the battle stops, as everyone hears a strange rumbling noise from the top. From out of the sky, a rock hits Pikachu square in the head! Pikachu is knocked out cold. It turns out that the stone is a Thunderstone, and Pikachu (while unconscious) evolved into Raichu!'

could be changed to...

Jack had Machamp use its Mega Punch! Pikachu dodged it with its Agility, causing Machamp to accidentally hit the rock wall.

Suddenly, the battle stoped, as everyone heard a strange rumbling noise from the top. From out of the sky, a rock flew down and hit Pikachu square in the head! Pikachu was knocked out cold. It turns out that the stone is a Thunderstone, and Pikachu (while unconscious) evolved into Raichu!


it is muhc eisier to read and flows more. The description is Ok, but i wouldn't recomend a fanfic in the shadow of the anime; it gives you a lot of greif from other people.

[347Studboy]

Lol, was it really that obvious that I was new? Actually, I never intended to make this a "fanfic", it was just an idea floating around in my head for many a year, and I thought I'd put it up just to see what happens. I never intend to do this again, by the way, 'cause as you can tell, writing is not my forté. But thanks for the advice, and while you're at it, how did you like the story itself? Okay? Horrible?

[Chris 2.1]

it was ok considering writing is not your forte, but i suppose it was kinda anime-ish. I bet you could really unearth a flair for writing if you can produce things of such quality, considering this is your first 'fic'

[347Studboy]

Wow, thanks. I appreciate that, but I really don't think I'll be doing more fanfics. And it was meant to be anime-ish, because again, this wasn't supposed to be a "fanfic"... just a possible day in the series. But I can freely admit, this doesn't even compare in quality to the other fanfics I've see, like The Crystal League (which was unfortunately discontinued ), and Lisa the Legend. Oh well, maybe someday I can write episode guides for Kevin, since he can't watch the show himself.

P.S. - I just checked, and it turns out you have a fanfic yourself... thought so. Not bad work, either! I'll just leave this stuff up to you guys... well, I guess I'd better go catch up to wherever you are on it.

[Chris 2.1]

thanks for checking out my fic! However, nobody really compares themselves to LTL or TCL...Gavin is one gr8 writer. Ozandrew (mod of fanfics) is also a great writer, so you could get inspiration (different to steal material) from those two.

[347Studboy]

Yeah, I liked some of the ideas they had. I loved the fact that TCL was more realistic than the anime. But if I do any future fanfics, they'll likely be more of a comedy thing than a serious thing... I do comedy relief a lot better, I think.

[Barbara LeMaster]

This has the makings of a good fanfic. I would recommend writing in the past tense, as suggested.

Also when describing battles, don't simply use the animé or game names of attacks. Describe the attacks; the sounds, colors, and the effects.

For example: Pikachu let loose a yellow bolt of lighting, which struck the Machamp, making it reel backwards in pain. The Machamp, struggling to stand up, drew back its arm and thrust it forward. Pikachu went flying backwards as the Mega Punch attack hit home." etc., etc.