What lies within

[ladyumbra]

What lies within?
Chapter 1

The first person who points out my weapon battle scene was a cop out gets to wear a dunce cap.


Turn; Breathe; focus; feel the inside you seek the weak point of your target…

*Wham!*

A foot lashed out and split a thick wooden board cleanly in two. The pieces fell from the holder and clattered loudly to the floor below. Elena turned and faced her judges; her athletic build never moved, and her dark green eyes gave away nothing as she waited for a response. A panel of two men and women calmly looked at each other and nodded.

''Continue with the trial,” said the eldest man, his voice sounding deteriorated with age.

Elena nodded and pushed a copper strand of hair out of her face before turning to her next task. Although she exuded a calm appearance, there were multitudes of thought racing though her mind. Today was her fifteenth birthday, and this trial would be the most important day of her life until she one day sent her first student to their trial. Elena had been training in a variety of martial arts since she was four.

Her city believed that no one art suited everyone, nor that just one philosophy was the best, so each time a teacher started a class they taught the fundamentals of many ways but added their own unique perspectives to each lesson. Now was Elena’s chance. If she passed her trail, she would be given the right to begin her own way and start teaching the younger students. It was her dream to help mold the eager children into strong, honorable fighters.

"The next task will be a test of focus,” her teacher announced as she turned to face her. The teacher smiled kindly, "shut your eyes.”

Elena did so and internally swore; this was her absolute worst exercise. Part of her training had been to be mindful of her surrounding without having to study it and to remember your surroundings as accurately as possible.

“I am ready," she said, her voice quavering only slightly.

"When you were in the waiting room before testing, what did you see?"

Elena breathed deep and focused, allowing her mind to piece together the memories of that room, she'd been so nervous then…

"It was cream colored; a shade closer to peach then pink. The walls were eight feet.....there was a wooden table with a small glass circle in the center…”

"How big was the circle?" her teacher asked

"Six and a half inches, there was a plant with ivy hanging down… three feet from the vale.”

"It was four feet," she corrected

"Pardon. Four feet next to the door was a small wooden table with a pewter wash dish on it.”

"Open you eyes," her teacher commanded

Relived, she opened them slowly, blinking as she waited for the lights to stop burning. Then, the girl looked hesitantly at her teacher

"You need to work on your subconscious’s focus; there is still too much that you do not see."
Elena nodded and bowed respectfully …
and once again turned halfway to face the judges. Against a nod, but this time more whispering.

"You will face two more physical tests, and then we will decide.” The speaker said.
Elena bowed and turned to face her teacher.

The woman pointed to the side of the testing area where an expansive set of weapons hung on a wall. "Pick one and we will see if you have learned enough to teach me something."

She nodded and walked across the floor to the weapons. There was no hesitation as she picked up a naginata. The beautiful long handed blade was her favorite weapon and the one she was most skilled with. The long staff like handle ended in a foot long, slightly curving blade that gleamed in the florescent lighting.

She turned and walked back across the floor, bare feet kept from becoming clammy by the cool tiles. During a trail there was no soft blue padding to fall on; you took the risk that if you were not ready you would learn the hard way.

Her teacher stood before her, also holding a naginata. It was rare that teacher and student both favored the same weapon, but then Elena and Mika had always been that way. Mika stood at the ready, her black hair pulled back into a ponytail and her blue eyes sparkling. She wanted to see if her favorite student had yet become the young warrior she had seen in her from when she first entered classes.

They bowed to each other respectfully, and then began circling each other, both waiting for the other to step out of the pattern by mistake or by choice. Mika struck first, lunging one foot foreword and bringing the blade down at an angle towards Elena. The girl blocked it by catching the pole and stabbing forward herself to push Mika's blade up and away from her before returning to defensive position. It was then that the attack began; a full out lung and low sweep. Block! A counter-slash; another block, and then they parted.

The two circled and then began again; slash, block, counter with a gutting move, block, sweep, near miss, step back and circle! Both girls were sweating and their breathing was shallow. The floor was becoming slippery with moisture from their feet and good footing was no longer a possibility. Simultaneous strike and attempt to block, resulting is a clash of blades and sparks! Elena stepped back to avoid the possible burn and Mika's pressed the attack… pressed her blade to her young student throat.

“Enough, Mika is the victor," one of the judges called. Both girls lowered their weapons and bowed to each other and then to the judges.

They bowed their heads in respect back, and then talked amongst themselves. Finally, Mr. Meyers, the senior judge, spoke, " The trial participants may have ten minutes to rest while we prepare for the last physical trail."

Elena and Mika bowed again, walked to the side of the room to put away their weapons, and sat on a wooden bench that had provided for them.

Mika looked at Elena
"Why did you step back?”

“The sparks," she said trying not to shiver at the thought.

"What about them? You don't fear the pain! I should know, I've seen you endure much worse on purpose.”

Elena felt her cheek s redden.
“The fire. I don't… I don't like the fire…" it was one of her only fears. She had been cut, nearly drowned, had broken bones, seen blood, and been accidentally stabbed during a practice, but she feared none of those things. Deep down, she had a fear of fire; it's burning intensity, it's unstoppable wrath… something about those colored, flickering flares terrified her to her very soul.

Mika nodded and placed a hand over Elena’s.
"It is a reasonable fear, but it is one that must be overcome. You will need to reach inside of yourself and confront your fear, fight the fire with your own energy."

Elena smiled slowly; Mika's encouraging words and comforting hand had given her hope.
"I don't suppose you know what my last physical trial will be?”

Mika shook her head
“No, they didn’t tell me, but since you're applying for a teacher rank the chances are that it will be demonstration of many weapons."

Elena nodded and grinned; that was her best element. In the test, you picked six weapons and did a performance of katas, or exercises, for each weapon to show your knowledge of them and the form to be used with them. Elena had done three other tests before the wood breaking and was tired, but she was sure she could handle that test.

The floors had been dried and the judges had reappeared; however, it was their escort that made Elena nervous. There with them was a Machoke, and it's teal skin looked tougher than most things she had ever before seen. The belt around its waist was a firm reminder of its awesome power.

Puzzled, she looked at Mika who was in a similar state of confusion. The judges sat back down at their table and smiled pleasantly at Elena.

"Your final physical test is a hand to hand match with this Machoke."

Elena bowed to them then walked to the middle of the room. She was so lost; normally the only time a person had this test was if they were going off to train fighting type Pokemon on a journey, like her brother... of course this could also be a test of her fighting skills on an unusual opponent…

With a soft sigh, she pushed her confusion from her mind and bowed to the Machoke. The creature promptly bowed back.

Again, the intricate dance began. Each contestant stepped with the other, watching their moves, timing their moves... Suddenly, Elena dropped down and swung her right leg out in a sweep kick. Her leg hit solid muscle, and all she received was throbbing pain from ankle to thigh. In a flash, she had rolled back up to standing position just it time to barely block a high kick.

Both fighters moved into defense again and circled each other. Elena focused on ignoring her leg, for there was immense pain there and the bruise hadn’t even started yet. She watched as the Machoke's fist skin began to glow and spark. She knew it was a thunder punch; even a carefully restrained hit was going to be enough to finish her. As the arm shot forward, she took a defensive stance, knowing that she didn't have the speed to dodge and she'd be marked back for not attempting to block or take the hit. Elena shut her eyes and focused; she was strong, her arms were blocking… they were a shield; a protective shield and she would not be hurt. A tiny tingle ran through her, and then she heard the crowd gasp. She opened her eyes, and there, emanating from her arms, was a light screen. The Machoke's fist was sparking against it and doing no damage.

“Enough this match is over!" Mr. Meyers called out.
The Machoke backed off, looking baffled as to how a human had produced a Pokemon attack. Elena dropped her arms and watched as the shield dissolved. She turned to face the judges, not bothering to hide her wonder and confusion, but they were no longer paying attention to her; they were talking amongst, themselves hurriedly and so close that she could not read what they were saying.

Suddenly they all turned to face her and Mr. Meyers stood.
"Elena Clement,” he said, “you have finished all your physical trials with an interesting and unique flair that you tend to do things in," his voice was amused “In light of that last performance, I do believe we have learned all we need to about the progress of your training and with the results of your written work, we have made a unanimous decision."

Elena struggled to stay in one place; this was it her biggest moment. All her hard work and dedication had paid off!

"Elena Clement, you have been officially removed from the student learning program and now stand equal with all graduates!”
He bowed to her and she bowed back, face flushed. She had made it; she had finally made it!

The small crowd who had been watching from the viewing seats applauded and began to move to congratulate her. She was swiftly wrapped in several hugs from her family and friends, while she saw that Mika was a few feet away and grinning at her. Slowly, the group moved to the sides as Akkin, the other male judge, walked foreword with a pale white box tied with a white ribbon.

Elena smiled, this was also part of the tradition; all graduates received a gift that signified their next step in life. From the clothes that a student who would be taking further instruction in a special art or way, the robes of a teacher, or a Poke’ball and Pokèdex for those who were going to train.

Akkin smiled softly and handed her the box. Elena thanked him warmly, and began to work on the ribbon. As a final test to students, their present box was always tied in a complex and difficult knot. One could take an offered blade and cut the ribbon, or you cold trudge though and attempt to undo the knot. Elena chose the second way, and five minutes later was still struggling to untie the knot. This was not uncommon, as no student had actually ever untied the knot before but simply put up a long struggle. With grin, Elena carefully compressed the box and slipped the ribbon and knot off


"I may not best this knot tonight, but someday I will!" she said.

Elena smiled and lifted the lid of he box, and the contents shocked her greatly. Inside were indeed robes in the style of teacher, but they were strangely colored. Instead of the white from which all teachers begin they were a light blue like the sky. And on top of them sat a Pokèdex and Pokèball.

Despite her confusion, Elena bowed in respect to the judges and thanked them for their gift. They bowed back, and Mr. Meyers clapped his hands.

"And now the celebrating begins,” the puzzled crowed cheered again; they were all in favor of celebration, but none of them had expected the gift Elena had received. It was well known that she wanted to teach, and so considering that she had been nominated to take the fifteenth birthday trial rather than have to wait to the seventeenth puzzled them. It certainly wasn't that Elena disliked Pokemon, but she'd never shown an interest in traveling with them on any sort of journey and spent time around them only when sparring.

Everyone filtered out of the trail area through the back doors. Outside, there were several tables of food and refreshments, and the year was decorated with many pictures of Elena. This too was customary should a trial participant pass they could see how far they had come and enjoy the food and celebration. Should they fail, they could see how much they have already achieved and know that they will eventually pass. Once Elena had managed to accept her last congratulation, Mika walked up to her.

“This wasn't what I was expecting, I thought you wished to be a teacher? You could have told me if you wanted to change paths…" her tone was not accusatory, but sad.

Elena shook he head
"No I didn’t change my mind, and I’m as confused as you are. I mean, you nominated me to be tested now and to gain the position of a teacher, so how…" her voice trailed off as Mr. Meyers walked over to them and sat down.

"Ah, Elena, I can see you’re upset and rightly so. The whole city knows of your love and dream of teaching, and there are many children who hoped you would one day guide them, but it is not what we need from you right now.”

"The city need’s me?" she asked confused

"Yes we need you. Your brother has not been heard from in a year, you know. Jared was one of our best training hopefuls; he had a deep bond with the Pokemon he trained, and the early reports form him showed that he was making great progress. We are afraid he has come to some harm. It is possible he has gone off to train secretly or that he chooses to no longer contact us, but either way we need to know and you must find out.”

Elena was no less lost
"But why me? I mean, there’s plenty of trainers from the city out there already who can’t find him!"

"Yes we know, and they are looking also, but that is not the only factor. What you did tonight with that shield is the biggest factor into why we’re sending you on a journey.”

"That shield? But I don't know how I-"

He raised a hand and cut her off
"I know you don’t, but the fact is that you did and that we’ve been sensing your abilities for a while now. What you did tonight was what we all hoped to achieve, to be able to manifest our inner power into a tangible object or force. As you know, all living beings have an inner power, and it is called by many names; ki, chi, etcetera. The point is that beings have sometimes learned to tap into it, an example is that we have learned to make mental blocks in our minds to extend our senses and become one with a weapon, but never to harness the energy. And you can. We are sending you on this journey to learn to harness that power'

"With Pokemon?" Mika asked with a raised eyebrow.

Elena looked thoughtful
"That’s how Pokemon use attacks, isn’t it? It's not all biology like the professors say, it’s harnessing their inner power, their very will, to use as an attack that becomes it."

Mr. Meyers nodded “Correct, and so you will learn from them. Of course, it is not possible for humans to breathe fire or to create stars of energy, but their are some attacks we believe you can learn and some things you can teach the Pokemon…" He looked Elena deep into the eyes, "We have set this quest before you, but only you may choose. Will you attempt to learn these things and attempt to teach your companion? Will you search for your inner powers and accept a journey away from your home? Will you make this attempt and bring home new knowledge for all to share?"

Elena’s eyes watered as she pondered these questions. She'd worked so hard to get this far, and as tantalizing as it sounded to learn something new, to be able to teach it in the future maybe…
"Yes, I’ll take this quest and may the deities be with me if they see fit.”

Mr., Meyers grabbed her hands in his and squeezed them “Good, now enjoy your celebration! You are year older and getting wiser each day, ”He stood and walked off into he crowd.

Elena looked at Mika
“I think we best get back to the party before my dad starts the speech.”

At that very moment Mr. Clement began to clear his throat. "Ahem, ahem. Okay, first I'd like to congratulate my daughter...”

Mika and Elena looked at each other and sighed before standing and walking towards Elena's father as he continued to go on about Elena’s great feats, how'd she'd grown, and her first word. All the while Elena struggled to accept the strange journey she had agreed to undertake and wondered what lay in store for her.

[DannyBoy]

This was amazing! I love it and it was very original. The tests and her fighting was described very well. You always come up with very original ideas and thats what I love about your writing. Her not wanting to go on a jounrey is good and such even though i seen that but with this it was sorta different with the fighting and trainning.

When she did a pokemon attack, I was shocked. This is one special girl. But I also liked how the only thing she is afraid of is fire. That leaves more mystery wonder why she dislikes it and is scared of it. But again, good! Keep it up!

[mr_pikachu]

Very creative. The Light Screen was, as ImmortalDreams said, shocking. Somehow I thought she'd end up journeying when they pitted her against a Machoke, but I never expected something like that! This is highly intriguing so far. Excellent work.

My only criticism is that you should spend a bit more time editing. I noticed lots of typos and grammatical errors, so it would do you good to polish your work more before you post. This is a superb plotline, so why not take the time to make it all it can be?

[Captain Pringle]

Wow, definite potential for a very original story here. Great first chapter - well-written and a very interesting hook with the light screen. You've got a cool idea going so far, and I'm interested to see what cool things you'll do with it as the plot advances. Cheers!

~ CP

[ladyumbra]

thanks to everyone for the comments so far i'm glad your liking it.
Chapter 2
The long winding road
*Indigo league round one *

Rochelle prayed silently to the legendaries for help, though she doubted they were listening. If they had been, she wouldn’t have drawn a water field for her round one battle!

She sighed as she walked through the dark tunnel towards the arena. It wasn’t as though she needed to win the league championships, but if she wanted to impress the league officials who were taking contenders for new gym positions, she needed to at least make a good showing of herself.

Once outside the tunnel her spirit lifted slightly; her opponent was already on his stand and didn’t look too confident. Of course, she mused, that could always be a ruse. She quickly climbed to her stand and awaited the start of the match.

The field was almost all clear blue water with only a few platforms floating in its midst. The referee stood off to the side and did his little speech about how many Pokemon were allowed, that there was no time limit, and that her opponent would be able to choose first.

Rochelle looked up her opponent. He was a boy of around twelve, with spiky black hair and eyes that she couldn’t determine from the distance. He no longer looked nervous, and that made Rochelle more so.

The boy drew a pokèball form his belt, and threw it into the field. When the red light cleared, she saw that he had released a Shellder. Its white shell gleamed with good health as it sat upon of the plat forms.. Rochelle smiled softly and whispered to her pokèball, ignoring the strange looks she got.

"Gamble, you’re my only hope. Good luck," she whispered and released her Pokémon.

The crimson outline of her choice settled into a Marowak. Its hard brown skin, shining white bone, skull covering, and chest plate gave it a tough look even at a field disadvantage.

"Water gun!" the boy shouted.

"Bonemarang!!" Rochelle yelled at the same time.

The clam Pokémon open its shell and shot forth an exceptionally fast steam of water, while Marowak tossed its bone high over the Shellder and water before the gleaming white object circled back. Meanwhile, the water gun hit Marowak point blank before it could move and knocked it into the water.

"Shellder, into the water!" her opponent yelled.
The Pokémon hopped forwards and would have descended safely had not the bonemarang smashed into it from behind, sending it skimming across the top of the waves until it hit another platform and fell unconscious. The bone landed safely on a platform a few feet away...

The referee held up a red flag and stated that the first match had gone to Rochelle while her opponent, Jake, recalled his unconscious Pokemon. Marowak swam to the plat form, where it's bone rested, and heaved it's soggy, tired body up before assuming a battle stance. Rochelle hoped that he could hold out; she only had one other Pokémon that would fit on the platforms.

Jake grinned, not even phased by his loss, and released a Starmie. It hovered in the air; it's rich purple hide showing clarely it's good health.

"Starmie, hydro pump!" Jake commanded.

"Dodge it!” countered Rochelle.

The Starmie used three of its limbs to created a triple blast of hydro powered water. Gamble leapt from his platform and landed, teetering, on the edge of another.

"Spinning tackle!" cried Jake, in a fervor now.
"Bone club!"

Starmie raced through the air on its side, a whiling dervish. The Marowak spun on one foot and tried to slam his thick bone down, but didn't quite complete the turn and only managed to get the bone ripped from its paws and spun into the crowd before the tackle hit. He went flying across the arena, barely aware of anything but the pain in his stomach and the white starburst of impact before he saw a red beam and was absorbed back into the welcoming darkness of his pokèball.

Rochelle shook her head; well, at least they had tried. With a flick of her wrist, she tossed another pokèball out and watched as her Graveler, Solid, began to look around. His tremendous weight caused the platform to skink slightly in the water.

Jake shook his head disbelievingly.
“A rock type? On a water field?! Are you insane?!!" he managed to choke out.

Rochelle smiled, "maybe,” was all she said.

"Solid, use defense curl!" Rochelle watched as her Graveler tucked her arms against her body and counted down.

“Hydro pump” commanded Jake, seeming very smug in his command.

Again the triple beams of water shot towards one of Rochelle Pokémon, but Solid had been training long enough to be able to withstand the devastating attack for at least a little while using defense curl…

Jake sighed. Well, maybe if he pushed it into the water…
"Spinning tackle!”

Rochelle hid a smile; it was a good idea, but she'd faced it before and when it was three yards away she yelled to her Pokemon.
"Grab it and body slam!"

Solid unfurled from her defense curl and slipped her short arms around a limb of the now spiraling Starmie, falling over on it as it slowed and strained against her iron grip. The Graveler allowed her full weight to crush down, pinning the star-like creature beneath her. The platform rocked from the impact, and a few waves lapped at the rock Pokemon’s body, but Solid didn’t move. Jake bit his lip, and wondered what he could do.

"Hydro pump!” he called, half desperately.

The Starmie tired to comply but couldn’t lift its limbs. Solid didn’t move from her crushing embrace until the Starmie’s center gem began blinking, and then she stood up with a triumphant gleam in her hard eyes.

Jake sighed softly and recalled the unconscious and badly hurt Pokémon.

Rochelle watched him for a moment, and then turned to Solid. The Graveler wasn't looking half as strong as she seemed to the audience; her body was feeling the effects of the water and it would
only be a matter of time before she would not be able to battle.

"Go, Lapras!"

Rochelle nearly whimpered at the sight of the blue and cream creature. Its shell was hard looking and despite it's pleasant call, she knew this was it. One last stand…

"Ice Beam!"
“Fissure!”

Solid leapt about a foot in to the air, intending to slam down on the platform and empty the pool of some water, but it never made it. The ice beam caught her on the descent and half froze the rock-type, half pushed her into the water.

Rochelle recalled the Graveler, murmuring thanks to the tired Pokemon, and the referee declared the match to Jake.

The announcers were going on about how it was down to a one on one, and how Lapras looked powerful… but would Rochelle be able to pull something out of her sleeve. She struggled not to let the tears brimming in her eyes fall. She had to forfeit; Dugtrio couldn’t battle here and Rhyhorn would barely fit one a platform. He could try the fissure trick, but he’d be ice beamed… no, it wasn't worth him getting hurt.

"I forfeit," she called out, her heart heavy. If only she'd had another field, any other field! Rock, grass, ice even.

"You’re positive?" the ref asked in mild surprise; Rochelle nodded.

“The round goes to Jake of Vermillion!" the crowed cheered, and Jake descended from his platform to be mobbed by the media. Rochelle climbed down from her platform and walked away towards the darkness so that no one would see the tears.



Hours later she sat in the Pokémon center, waiting for news on Solid who’d apparently gotten frostbite. Jake walked in and strode over to her.

"Hi are your Pokémon going to be okay?” he asked. Rochelle could tell he was being genuine.

"My mom says Gamble will be fine but she'd not certain about Solid; she's got frostbite…"

"Well I hope he turns out alright… and your mom’s a Nurse Joy?!"

Rochelle laughed. She was glad at being able to feel after so much time spent worrying.

"Yeah my mom one of the zillion nurse Joys, you should see family reunions, it's crazy. Oh, and Solid is a girl."

Jake blushed, "Ahh, sorry. Well, I just wanted to make sure they were gonna be okay and congratulate you on putting up a great fight. That fissure move could been a right pain in the ass!”

Rochelle nodded "Thanks and congrats yourself. That was one quick ice beam.”

“Thanks you, can I ask you why you forfeited?" he stopped for a moment, "I mean if your last Pokémon was as well trained and could handle some water like your Graveler…"

Rochelle shook her head, " I didn’t have a choice; all I had left was Rhyhorn
or Dugtrio…”'

“Oh, well that makes sense, but why did you bring such an inflexible team here?"

“Training, and to make a good showing for myself. You’ve heard about that new region, right?”

Jake nodded “Yeah, they haven’t let anyone but researchers in yet…”

"Yeah, and they haven’t found any people, but they’ve found a lot of Pokémon. Well, they say they’re going to make a league there and that in about six months they’re going to open the region to top trainers and to those that have been selected to be future gym leaders. They already have my application as rock/ground type gym leader, and I have to record my win and loss records plus show my teams ability's. I should get perseverance points for battling at a major disadvantage and ingenuity points for the way I dealt with it."

Jake ran a hand through his spikes " I'll say I never expected to see My Starmie flattened literally…"

Rochelle’s eyes went wide "Oh, is your Starmie alright?"
Jake nodded, “Yes, she's going o be fine, but she's out of commission for tomorrow’s match,” He sighed, “Ice field too, it would have been nice to have her…"

Rochelle smiled “I doubt you'd need to use anyone but your Lapras, I’ve never seen such speed in that attack before.”

Jake returned her smile with one of his one "Thanks it's nice to know someone believes. I'd like to stay and hear about Solid, but I got to run. There’s a dark Pokémon exhibition match in fifteen minutes and I want to catch it.”

Rochelle grinned, "Go on and have fun. Good luck in your match tomorrow."

Jake nodded and jogged out of the Pokémon canter, heading off towards the stadium.

Rochelle leaned her head back against the wall and shut her eyes. The moment they were closed she heard a ding and the sound of a door opening.
“Rochelle are you asleep?” her mother asked in the soft pleasant tone all Nurse Joy’s have.

Rochelle opened her eyes, "Nope, just resting. Is Solid okay?”

Her mother sighed, “ She's recovering, but it will be another week before she can leave our care. I know you don't want to leave Kanto without her but It's won't be any trouble to have her sent to you…”
Rochelle inhaled slowly, “I dunno, I’d like to get going tomorrow since I don't have any reason to stay, but I don't want to leave her behind… even in the best of care.” she flashed a smile at her mother.

"Well she’s been moved out of emergency and is in intensive care, so you can go talk to her yourself.”

Rochelle nodded and walked into the swinging doors pushing them out of her way and down the sterile smelling hall into the intensive care unit. There was a Venemoth coved in cream for what she assumed was a 3rd degree burn, a Rapidash on a respirator, and Solid laying on a bed with a glass top and hoses pumping in warm air.

Rochelle walked over and sat next to her bed "Hey girl you did great today! I couldn’t be prouder.”

Solid, whose rough skin was coated in thin layer of shiny ice, gave a small greeting growl and then curious one.

Rochelle shook her head sadly, “No, we didn’t win. I forfeited…"
Solid growled again and shook a frost-covered arm, annoyed.

"Yes I know you worked hard but there was nothing I could do. Can you really see Noir swimming… or Tank staying on one of those platforms?"

Solid pondered this and growled what Rochelle knew to be a ‘no’.

"Well then, you see I didn’t have a choice. It's okay, though; we still put in a good effort. I just wanted you to know, and mom says your gonna be here for another week”

"Grav?"

"Me staying and waiting for you one week isn’t going to be that much of a...”

"Grav ler Graveler!"

"Or I'll go ahead and have mom send you to me… " Rochelle laughed softly; Solid was one stubborn Pokémon, and she always pushed Rochelle to do he best.

Rochelle patted the glass and smiled at her partner “I’ll see you in the morning before I leave," she said, then stood and walked out of the room and down the hall to the room she was staying in. She pulled her nightstand drawer open and plucked the map off the top of the things she had in there.

“Now,” she mused to herself “to plan my route though Johto…”

[mr_pikachu]

Interesting. I'm a bit curious as to how Rochelle will fit into the picture, but I suppose that'll be covered eventually. I liked that she didn't just blow her opponent away; it's nice to see a change from the regular trainer fics with the heroes blazing through the tournament. Nice creativity, there.

One thing that I still have to criticize is the editing. You had several errors in this chapter, mostly involving missing letters and words. That leads me to believe that you're not running thorough enough checks on your chapters before you post them. It doesn't take too long to give each chapter a good edit, and it's well worth the wait for your readers. Just take your time and do the best job you possibly can.

And if you say "I don't like editing, though," just remember that nobody really enjoys it. I don't care for editing at all, but it helps so much to improve the quality of my chapters that it's more than worthwhile. Believe me, a good edit can sometimes make all the difference in the world.

I'm looking forward to seeing how you connect these two characters. See you next chapter!

[ladyumbra]

8blinks* missing letters and words? yep that would be my fault . allmy work goes toa spellchecker and then tothe beta. Itend to beilve that after the beta has finished its all correct. hehe looks like i need to check things after they have too.