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Thread: Lune (Current chapter: Tortured Soul)

  1. #1
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    Default Lune (Current chapter: Tortured Soul)

    Hey, hey! I've totally decided to start posting in the Fanfic forums again, and I would love it if I could get people to read and comment on this story. The chapters aren't long, and they are easy to follow, so please take a look! Tell me if you hate it, tell me if you like it, and if you change your mind somewhere along the way, please let me know.

    As I am not familiar with the current pokémon generation, the story is set mainly in the Red/Blue/Yellow Gold/Silver Crystal world, with possibly some of Ruby/Sapphire integrated in. And since we've had enough of an intro, I now present:

    ~ Lune ~

    Chapter 1

    The Sanctuary

    It all began, Lune recalled, when chaos first broke out in the Sacred Kingdom. Under indifferent leadership, the once glorious empire had faded in its magnificence, shrinking quietly into a country that had lost its pride. It hadn’t always been this way. Lune shook his head sadly. His face was marked with the scars of sorrow, and his once brightly-lit eyes were dimmed with weary hopelessness.

    And yet, what was an Eevee like him to do? He knew (or thought so, at least) what would once more bring joy to the Sacred Kingdom, but he had neither the power nor the support to do what had to be done.

    Sighing, Lune rested his head on the soft, sweet grass, allowing his long ears to droop down his neck side-by-side. With his bushy tail wrapped around his small body, he idly pawed at the white tuft of fur that grew around his neck and fell at his chest, frowning as he did so. The cold, smooth stone embedded in his forehead glowed slightly as the sun’s morning rays cast warm light upon it. This Everstone would, till the end of time, prevent Lune from evolving into a more powerful form. Forever an Eevee he would remain. He yawned, peeking over the water’s edge to look at his reflection. A pathetic creature stared back at him with its infinitely deep gray eyes, whose golden fur had long since lost its glorious luster. Truth was bitter.

    This secret meadow was the one place he could find peace nowadays. The soothing melody of the rushing waterfall and swift stream would often help to calm his nerves. Here, in the midst of sweet, fragrant flowers, he could rest. There was no fear of discovery. Lune himself had stumbled upon this meadow by pure chance, and not without help. The only way in was hidden deep in the darkest corner of a mysterious cave. The cave itself wasn’t very large, but many pokémon tended to avoid it because of its narrow, confining space and the risk of falling into unseen holes, never to be found again… Hidden and unnoticed lay the entrance to the meadow. Even from up close, it seemed like nothing special – just another crevice in a cave that was full of them. On the other side, though, was this sacred meadow, serene and welcoming. The best part? It was a secret, not to be seen even by air. Only one other pokémon knew of this sanctuary…

    “Hey, Lune, plan on sitting there feeling sorry for yourself all day?” Shockwave crawled through the narrow crack in the stone, leapt through the waterfall’s cascading curtain (his favorite part), and swam across the stream, coming out icy cold and thoroughly drenched: just the way he liked it. Lune had to give the Pikachu credit. That crazy yellow mouse never failed to brighten up the darkest day. If Shockwave weren’t here to cheer him up with his – literally – electric personality, Lune wouldn’t know what he’d do.

    “Seriously, though.” Shockwave shook himself dry. “They’re announcing the new Guardian today. You should come.”

    Lune blinked. He’d forgotten all about the new Guardian! Traditionally, there had to be at least two. They were chosen by the Emperor… At the thought of the Emperor, Lune grimaced. He didn’t want to think about that just yet. This day, though, would be a very important one.

    The Guardians held the responsibility of maintaining order in the kingdom. In times of war, they, along with the Emperor, would command the vast army. Of course, the choice would be crucial. Lune hoped that the Emperor – it pained him when he thought of that good-for-nothing – would at least be capable of making a decent choice. No one, in Lune’s mind, deserved the Guardianship at this point. They would just have to make do. Unless…

    “Hey, Kingdom to Lune! Kingdom to Lune!” Shockwave crossed his arms. “Coming?”

    Lune grinned sheepishly. “Um, yeah. Sorry.”

    “I was afraid I’d have had to zap you,” Shockwave teased. “Speaking of which, you don’t appear quite alert yet. Perhaps it’d be a good idea, anyway.”

    “Oh, no you don’t!” Lune snickered, playfully shoving the Pikachu into the stream. Shockwave emerged, spewing water and twisting his mouth into a sly grin.

    “Race ya!” he called, already halfway across the stream.

    “Hey! No fair!” Lune yelled, chasing after the rapidly-disappearing Pikachu, forgetting, for a moment, his pain and his sorrow.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 26th July 2009 at 09:31 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Lune - read and comment please! (Chapter 2 posted)

    Since the chapters are so short, I'd better post more than one to give you a better idea. Here's Chapter 2.

    Hmm when I posted this there was some weird graphics glitch, so I deleted the post and hopefully it works better this time.

    Chapter 2
    A New Guardian

    “The Emperor approaches! The Emperor approaches!” So the messenger Murkrow called, trailed by the Emperor’s procession. Several fierce Growlithe led the way, swishing their fiery tails impatiently. They bared their sharp teeth, snarling at anyone and everyone as if, at any moment, they would pounce upon their victims and rip out their throats with brute ferocity characteristic only of the canine race. It was hard to believe that these Growlithe were only puppies; if they were exposed to Fire Stones, their graceful, majestic evolution form, the Arcanine, would provide them with such power that they could now only dream of.

    “Lune, bow!” Shockwave whispered in a tone of urgency. “Emperor Ryu’s coming!”

    Growling, Lune cast a hateful glance toward his bane of existence. The proud, egoistic Ampharos had gained the title Emperor Ryu against the will of many. From the start, some had protested – the insightful ones who could see even then that Ryu’s coronation was a huge mistake (Shockwave had protested, and vehemently so) – but no one heeded them back then. Through time, it became evident that this poor excuse of an Emperor did not deserve to be an Emperor at all. Too late now…

    “Lune,” Shockwave hissed as he tugged on the hostile Eevee’s leg, “There’s no time for this now! Bow, quickly, before they catch you!”

    Glaring at the conceited Ampharos, Lune was again reminded of just how much he hated Emperor Ryu. The Emperor traveled around with a stuck-up gait, stretching out his long, black-banded neck and lifting his nose and ears so high up that he probably saw the sky whenever he opened his eyes. That is, if he opened his eyes at all. The thing about Emperor Ryu, though, was that he very seldom found it worthwhile to look upon his subjects and his kingdom. He was better than them all, and therefore, they didn’t deserve his time. To Lune’s utter annoyance, the Emperor began stroking his glossy yellow coat and playing about with the shiny red orb on his yellow-and-black striped tail. Lune gave Emperor Ryu one more second, and then he would…

    “CHUUU!”

    One thing about Shockwave: Being zapped by him was extremely painful when he wanted it to be.

    Emperor Ryu raised an eyebrow. At his signal, the procession stopped. “What may we have here?”

    At this point, Shockwave tripped Lune over, creating the illusion that Lune had made a very clumsy attempt at bowing and failed. As much as he hated to admit it, this was probably the best thing that could have happened to Lune at this point, even if he was forced to bow to someone that he didn’t recognize as Emperor. Lune knew that he would thank the Pikachu later.

    “Almighty Emperor Ryu, I sincerely apologize for this disturbance. I have a slight cold that went out of control, and I happened to sneeze on this very unfortunate Eevee.”

    Yet another thing about Shockwave: he was a genius, a talented actor, a formidable battler, and whatever the heck he wanted to be. He knew exactly how to get what he wanted when he wanted it. There was no mistaking that Shockwave was a prodigy.

    Emperor Ryu shrugged, rapidly losing interest. “It’s just an inconsiderate Pikachu who should learn not to get colds on days like this. Move on.” The procession made its way to the center of the square, and there it stopped.

    “Dearest loyal subjects,” Emperor Ryu uttered in the midst of a yawn, “I now pronounce Lady Naien as the second Guardian of the Sacred Kingdom.”

    “What’s wrong, Lune?” Shockwave asked, upon noticing the look on Lune’s face.

    “Oh – nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

    “Never believed he’d actually do something, huh?” Shockwave cocked his head aside. “Me neither.”

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Lune - read and comment please! (Chapter 2 posted)

    Third chapter, and I think that'll be enough for now. Tell me what you think!

    Chapter 3
    The General Tournament

    “It’s settled, then. The tournament begins in a week.” Lord Yoruno pronounced this, as he did with all of his statements, with a certain sureness. No one could match his unshakable confidence, nor did any else possess the wonderfully charismatic personality that was so distinctly his. This Umbreon, Lune thought, was remarkably competent, and possessed a military genius that almost always involved cautious unpredictability. It was for his obviously outstanding competence that he was made Guardian in the first place. Lune sighed as he thought, first, of Lord Yoruno, midnight-black fur gleaming with a splendid sheen, standing proudly as his fluorescent, ever-changing yellow rings added to his general majesty… and then of the sharply-contrasting Emperor Ryu. If only…

    “We should start, then. There’s a lot of work to do to set this up.” Lady Naien seemed to love her new responsibility. Ever since she was made Guardian, Lune noticed an increase in the Houndoom’s enthusiasm and energy. He smiled. Lady Naien had wanted this for a long time.

    As Lune gazed upon Lady Naien, the inner flame, he thought, just for a moment, that he could hope again. Her fiery spirit and sense of self-pride would serve her well in the Guardianship. The fact that she was a Houndoom – and, at times, though she never showed it, lived up to her demonic legacy – would not affect in the least her kind heart and her genuine desire to make things right. Perhaps the Sacred Kingdom had a chance…

    “Since you both will need to deal with setting up the tournament,” Lune started, “I will be the only Adviser left free.” With nods from the two Guardians, Lune continued. “Then I will do my best.” He left the forest clearing in search of Shockwave. He had a lot of things on his mind, and he thought it better to rest briefly before he began his arduous work as an Adviser.

    The job of an Adviser was a very difficult one, filled with the pressures of those receiving the help and the anguish resulting from those who were irrationally, stubbornly persistent. Those who wanted to join the frequent peacetime tournaments often sought the help of the Advisers. They brought to Advisers their plans for special battle tactics that they hoped would surprise their opponents. It was common knowledge that each pokémon had his, her, or its own unique special abilities. Whether or not the pokémon knew fully what these abilities were, and how to use them, was the Adviser’s problem.

    When a pokémon came to an Adviser bringing along hopes, it was the Adviser’s job to first determine whether the goals were realistic, explain the limitations and expectations to the pokémon, and, finally, help the pokémon bring out and use his, her, or its own special ability.

    “KAIIII!”

    Lune started, shocked. His heart pounded wildly against his chest. “Shockwave!” he whined.

    Struggling to control fits of laughter, Shockwave came out of the bushes. “Sorry, but you looked so deep in thought. I couldn’t resist. Lighten up!”

    Shaking his head, Lune couldn’t help but smile. “I need to Advise several pokémon soon. The tournament is set to begin in a week!”

    Shockwave looked pleased. He never refused a good match, and tournaments were always loads of fun. For once, though, his expression turned serious. “I want to be an Adviser. I know I could help pokémon a lot that way.”

    Lune felt surprised that Shockwave wanted to make such a commitment. The Pikachu disliked responsibility, and, brilliant though he was, the concept of punctuality for work was foreign to Shockwave. Still, Lune believed that Shockwave would definitely do an excellent job. He was, after all, a prodigy. There was only one problem.

    “I have to convince Emperor Ryu to get a new Adviser…” At that, Shockwave groaned.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, read and comment please! (Chapter 4 posted)

    Okay I lied, one more

    Chapter 4
    Heat Barrier

    “Why can’t I grow wings and fly in battle? I want to grow wings and fly in my battle!” The Magcargo, Atsuhi, began to grumble.

    Lune sighed. It had been like this all week. There was no end to the number of impossible requests. He had no magic. He couldn’t just grant every pokémon’s irrational wish.

    “You see, ma’am,” Lune tried once again to explain, “I don’t mean to be rude, but what you ask for is impossible.”

    Atsuhi huffed, and her tail flame brightened with anger. Her usually light red body became a deep crimson. She was terribly flustered and irritated that she could not get what she wanted. “You Advisers are supposed to help. Help help. I come to ask you for help with my special ability, but no, you tell me. No, no. I’ve had it, you hear? Had it, had it!”

    As the old snail rose with a sour look on her face, Lune couldn’t think of anything scarier than a frustrated Magcargo. He backed away cautiously…

    It was when the sun’s rays shone upon the hardened, rocky shell that Lune noticed something.

    “I’ve got it!” he cried excitedly. “I’ve figured out your special ability, and it’s awesome!”

    “What what?” Atsuhi blinked. “You know how I can fly?”

    “No,” Lune told her, “but don’t be disappointed. You’re capable of something far better.”

    “Oh?”

    Smirking, Lune examined the Magcargo’s shell like a child who’d just found a new toy. “Be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” Before Atsuhi could say anything, Lune bounded off. He returned promptly, carrying a container of water in his mouth.

    “Don’t even think about bringing that near me. Don’t you dare, you hear?”

    “Ma’am, you need not fear water at all.”

    “You’re crazy! Crazy crazy. Every Magcargo knows water is bad. Bad bad! Stay away from me! Away I say!”

    Putting the container down, Lune turned to the Magcargo and grinned.

    “Please listen to me, ma’am. Just once is all I ask. If this doesn’t work, you are free to leave.” Unwillingly, Atsuhi gave her attention to Lune.

    “Great! This is how it works. When you get angry, your body temperature soars to unusual heights. This heats the shell on your body dramatically – so much that it gains a red glow. I noticed that just now. My theory is, if you can control your body temperature and intentionally induce a rise in heat, you will receive protection from water.”

    “I still don’t understand.”

    “Here’s how you do it. First, withdraw all parts of your body under your shell. Remember to heat it, too.”

    Full of doubt, the Magcargo shook her head, then pulled herself under her shell, keeping safely hidden. Before long, the hard rock achieved a deep, red glow, and the air around it turned into a mass of sweltering, tangible heat. Lune picked up the container and dumped the water onto the waiting Magcargo, who didn’t notice. Before the water could even reach her, it evaporated into steam.

    “Come on, come on! Don’t have all day, you know,” she mumbled.

    “It worked!” Lune yelled, jumping excitedly.

    “What what?” Atsuhi emerged, and to her surprise, realized that Lune told the truth. “Oh, thank you, thank you!” she cried, rejoicing.

    “No problem. Good luck in the tournament, ma’am.”

    At that, the Magcargo, realizing that she had not yet registered, left in a hurry.

    “Tomorrow…” Lune smiled to himself. “I’d better get ready.”
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 16th October 2008 at 12:25 PM.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, read and comment please! (Chapter 4 posted)

    I've read Lune before Welcome back!
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    Random thought: 2+2=5.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, read and comment please! (Chapter 4 posted)

    Thank you! ^_^ I plan to finish it this time. No more laziness from me!

    I am planning on changing some things, so hopefully the story ends up better this time around.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 18th September 2008 at 05:44 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, read and comment please! (Chapter 4 posted)

    I have (re?)read the first 4 chapters. It's great to see this fic up again! I enjoyed reading about Lune and Shockwave once more, and even that crazy Magcargo. That scene was as funny as I remembered it.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, read and comment please! (Chapter 4 posted)

    Hehe, thanks, Gabi! I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks that scene is funny.

    On to the first battle of the story! I'm trying something different this time around. I'll be posting a battle summary at the end. Everyone who's reading this, please let me know if the battle summary is helpful, or if it's useless or detrimental towards the story. I'd prefer that people read the battles in full instead of just the summary, but I do realize that it may get confusing at times because I rarely name attacks in my descriptions.

    Chapter 5
    There is Always a Way

    “And now, let Round One of the tournament begin!” The announcing Farfetch’d, tired of spending so much time in the air, landed on the Emperor’s balcony before continuing. From high up there his voice would carry better, anyway.

    Emperor Ryu, for once, seemed genuinely interested. He believed he was a great battler himself, so the matter was worth his attention. Next to him, on either side, stood Lord Yoruno and Lady Naien. They, too, enjoyed the thrill of tournaments, and on occasion participated in them.

    Having had enough rest, Kento the Farfetch’d resumed announcing. “Starting off, Lune the Eevee versus Shadow the Gengar! I bet we can already see where this one is going.”

    “Boooooring…” Emperor Ryu yawned. “The poor Eevee doesn’t stand a chance. Normal attacks don’t affect Ghost types!”

    “Hey, Lune, win this one, okay?” yelled Shockwave. “It’s not right to lose on the first round.”

    On the open battlefield, the proud specter cackled. “An Eevee that’s been stunted by an Everstone? What, not even an Umbreon? This battle was over before it even started!”

    Lune remained silent. Instead of reacting to Shadow’s taunts, he scanned the arena carefully. Several layers of sheltered bleachers reaching around in a horseshoe shape, the Emperor’s marble roofed balcony perched high above directly in the middle of the U… and not much else, except the earthen floor. This was a standard, general arena, open to any competitors. There were none of the extra factors – water, ledges, closed roofs, and the like – that might have been present in special tournaments. Lune nodded. So be it.

    Apparently, Shadow expected Lune to make the first move. He obliged with a lightning-quick charge to catch Shadow off guard, but the Gengar was even quicker. The crowd gasped as Lune fell right through Shadow’s body to the other side.

    “He phased out from Lune’s Quick Attack, huh?” Shockwave mumbled to himself. “So that’s how fast he is. Pretty good.”

    Again, and for the third and fourth time, Lune attempted more rapid strikes, and each time Shadow dodged, the same way as before.

    “I see you don’t learn from your mistakes!” the Gengar called. “Then you must suffer the consequences!” A blue glow outlined Lune’s body, and as he was raised above the ground, he found it impossible to break loose. Shadow’s will was too strong, and his crushing mental force too powerful. Lune gagged. If this kept up, his lungs would surely implode… At that moment, the Gengar stopped squeezing and threw Lune into the dirt. Ignoring the “Had enough yet?” he got to his feet and brushed the dust off of his fur.

    Calmly, Lune raised his right forepaw in the air. As if by signal, the darkness flowed towards that one central point, summoned by its master… The deep purple orb throbbed violently as it grew, threatening, at any moment, to explode. Without a word, Lune sent the ball on its path of destruction. Normally, the ethereal energy would have erupted with searing devastation upon contact with its target. Against expectations, it passed right through the intended victim’s body, crashing instead into the ground behind him. Shadow roared with laugher. “You think I’d just ignore my biggest weakness?” he snorted. “I can phase out of anything! Just try me!”

    Shadow’s image flickered, then drew out into a long blur. Eventually, Lune could spot three Gengar, two of which he knew were illusory. He did not have to fear the mirror images, for they themselves had no substance, but until he figured out which Shadow was real, he had three targets to choose from. He wondered… Perhaps already? He only had to try. Lune smirked. “Ready, Shadow? Here I come!” Most unexpectedly, Lune began showering the three Gengar with a dense, seemingly endless barrage of solid yellow shurikens.

    “What does that Eevee think he’s doing?” Emperor Ryu shook his head. “Swift is a Normal type attack! Normal attacks don’t affect Ghost types!” he declared knowingly.

    Most of the crowd seemed to share the opinion. Shockwave smirked. “They’ll see.”

    When the stars finally stopped coming, the dust settled to reveal an utterly astonished Gengar, alone. His mirror images no longer existed.

    “What? How is that possible?” Emperor Ryu rose from his throne and bent over the bars of the balcony, rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

    “Phasing isn’t always automatic,” Lord Yoruno answered. “It takes energy for a Ghost-type to phase out of attacks. Ghosts need to be in their solid forms to put substance into attacks that require their bodies, such as punches. They can phase out of regular physical attacks without much visible effort, but it is possible to strike them with physical attacks if they are caught off guard. That repetition of Quick Attack was no foolish accident. Though Shadow was fast enough to phase out of all four, which alone is already an impressive feat even for a powerful Gengar, he did not do so without expending an incredible amount of energy. Lune played on this, wearing his opponent down without Shadow realizing it. The deciding blow, however, was the unusually powerful Shadow Ball. A Shadow Ball is composed mainly of energy. I haven’t seen a Ghost try to phase out of one before, but it must have drained Shadow’s stamina significantly to do so.”

    Lune grinned. Shadow fell for it! Excellent. “Hey, Shadow! Dodge this! That is,” Lune added mischievously, “if you can.” Before Shadow had the time to respond, Lune lunged, sinking his sharp teeth, crackling with dark energy into the Gengar’s arm. When trying to shake Lune off didn’t work at first, Shadow instead drove his fist into the stubborn Eevee’s side, forcing him off. Lune fell and did not move.

    “You’re done for!” Shadow cried, clamping the palms of his hands together. Immediately they began to spark violently with electricity. “Take this!” The tripled bolt of lightning surged through Lune’s apparently limp body with a sickening snap. When he still continued to lie on the floor without making a sound, Shadow thought he could sense victory.

    “Don’t worry, little Eevee. I’ll end this quickly.” The psionic blast rushed at it target, enveloping him in what seemed to the spectators like a spherical explosion of light. Not many could survive that. Lune was one of the few.

    Lune’s ears perked up as he got to his feet. The glint in his eyes screamed that something was amiss. Up to this time, he had been waiting, patiently, until the perfect opportunity presented itself. No one had noticed the faint white glow around his body.

    “Now, Shadow, receive doubled wrath!”

    The entire arena erupted with blue psionic energy, coupled with a severe thunderstorm. Massive bolts of electricity burst through the blast radius with boiling rage, tearing away at the helpless victim. Amazingly enough, Shadow survived… Not by much, but he was still conscious.

    “How unexpected!” The Farfetch’d announcer echoed the spectators’ surprise. “Lune appeared beaten, but he’d actually chosen to Bide his time, turning Shadow’s powerful attacks against the Gengar!”

    Lune raised his front right paw once more, summoning the darkness that would spell Shadow’s destruction.

    “I… can’t phase out of that…” Shadow gasped, struggling to speak. “But you can’t escape Destiny Bond, Eevee! I shall not lose!”

    “Watch me,” Lune muttered. This time, his ethereal sphere sailed upwards, towards Emperor Ryu’s balcony, directly above Shadow.

    “You missed?” the Gengar cried. “You missed!”

    “Did I, really?”

    The resulting explosion broke off a large part of the roof. As it came crashing down, Shadow realized with horror that he could not bind his fate to lifeless, falling rubble. With a curse under his breath, he gave way under the crushing marble…

    After a stunned moment of absolute silence, the Farfetch’d opened his beak to speak. He announced shakily, “Incredible! Lune the Eevee has defeated Shadow the Gengar! He will proceed to Round Two!”

    The crowd erupted in cheers.



    ***

    Battle Summary (Chapter 5) - Lune (Eevee) vs. Shadow (Gengar)

    Lune - Quick Attack (target: Shadow)
    Shadow - phase (avoid: Quick Attack)

    Lune - Quick Attack (target: Shadow) x3
    Shadow - phase (avoid: Quick Attack) x3

    Shadow - Psychic (target: Lune)

    Lune - Shadow Ball, large amount of energy devoted (target: Shadow)
    Shadow - phase (avoid: enhanced Shadow Ball)

    Shadow - Double Team (2 mirror images)
    Lune - Swift (target: area effect)
    Shadow - insufficient energy to phase, images destroyed

    Lune - Bite (target: Shadow)
    Shadow - Mega Punch (target: Lune)

    Shadow - Thunder (target: Lune)
    Shadow - Psychic (target: Lune)
    Lune - unleash Bide (target: Shadow)

    Shadow - Destiny Bond (target: Lune)
    Lune - Shadow Ball (target: balcony)

    Shadow - insufficient energy to phase, crushed by collapsed balcony, KO

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, read and comment please! (Chapter 5, first battle posted!)

    And another battle by my favorite Pikachu <3 Enjoy.

    Chapter 6
    A Prodigy

    “Lune!” Shockwave gave Lune a thumbs-up as the Eevee stepped off of the battlefield. “Guess what? I’m next.”

    “Cool. Who against?”

    “And, after that amazing battle to start us off, we can only imagine what exciting surprises the others will bring!” Kento’s voice rang clearly through the air. “The Emperor’s broken balcony roof is only temporary. It will be fixed by tomorrow. Right now, though, let’s welcome our next two combatants: Shockwave the Pikachu and Amethyst the Golem!

    “No sweat, Shockwave.” Lune winked.

    “Bet they think I’ll lose, huh?”

    “You won’t.”

    “I know.”

    Above, Emperor Ryu grunted. “Now THAT is a horrible match-up. Everyone knows Ground types always crush Electric types. Who does these stupid match-ups?”

    “They are chosen at random,” Lady Naien replied firmly. “I made the pairings.” At that, Emperor Ryu fell silent.

    The earth began to tremble. Violent tremors followed, only to be abruptly ended.

    “I don’t believe it!” the Farfetch’d cried. “Shockwave the Pikachu has completely avoided the Earthquake by jumping into the air! He has even struck Amethyst the Golem mid-air with a well-placed Iron Tail!”

    “That’s it, Shockwave,” said Lune. “Show them. Show them all the prodigy that you are.”

    Amethyst snorted, rubbing away the metallic remnants from the large chinks in her boulder-like hide. “Don’t get cocky, you little rat! I haven’t even started yet!”

    “Try me.” Shockwave mustered an extremely aggravating look that would, if he so chose to allow it, drive anyone absolutely crazy. Amethyst took the bait immediately, flying into a vicious rage. No longer would her mind easily reason; her anger would think for her instead.

    “That is IT, Pikachu!” Amethyst yelled, whilst locking herself into a tight ball. “I’ll bring out my secret weapon now! You can’t get away!”

    At that, Amethyst began to roll, slowly at first as she started to accelerate, but increasingly faster, until she reached frightful speeds that would be difficult to outrun.

    Shockwave had not been idle. While his opponent gathered momentum, he had beckoned to the skies above, and even now, dark storm clouds shadowed the battlefield. With a signaling rumble of thunder, they burst open to pour forth their full torrential fury, reducing the dirt ground to waterlogged mud in moments.

    “Nice try, but I’m still rolling!” Amethyst cackled. “And while I do, no amount of rain can harm me.” Though slowed a little, Amethyst did not view this as significant enough to matter. She turned and started for Shockwave. At this point, Shockwave kicked off and sprinted, moving so quickly that he could only be seen as a yellow blur in the dark storm. Still, Amethyst could keep up, and the distance between the two lessened every moment.

    “Whoa!” The Farfetch’d strained to be heard over the din. “It appears as if Amethyst the Golem is catching up to her opponent, even in this heavy rain!”

    Lune shook his head. “Too gullible.”

    Just as it looked as if Shockwave was finally tiring and had no means of escape, he jumped aside, leaving his hardened, silver tail directly on Amethyst’s path… Unable to stop or swerve, the Golem rode right into Shockwave’s metallic tail, was thrown off course by her own momentum, and crashed directly into the hard, marble wall in front of her. When she uncurled, she could immediately feel the stinging rain lash at her face.

    “The water will drown me! Don’t let me drown!” she shrieked.

    As if her prayer had been answered, an invisible force drove the clouds away, leaving the warm, friendly sun and the clear sky.

    “You!” Amethyst pointed accusingly at Shockwave. “You did this. You will pay.”

    The past events had taken their toll. Amethyst was on her last bit of energy, and it showed. This was it: her trump card. Whether it succeeded or failed, she had to deal with the consequences.

    A sparking, orange ball of energy expanded in between Amethyst’s clasped hands, crackling with chaotic matter. She channeled every ounce of her remaining strength into it. The ball grew… and grew… and grew. Every moment it seemed more dangerously out of control. Eventually, Amethyst had no more energy with which to power it, and it was now that she launched the plasma towards Shockwave in the form of an annihilating beam. The field erupted with the blast, blinding all with an orange flash of light. When the smoke cleared, Shockwave was standing perfectly still behind a shimmering energy barrier.

    “So,” Amethyst whispered, “I fail…” With that, the Golem collapsed.



    ***

    Battle Summary (Chapter 6) - Shockwave (Pikachu) vs. Amethyst (Golem)

    Amethyst - Earthquake (target: Shockwave)
    Shockwave - aerial Iron Tail (target: Amethyst)

    Shockwave - Swagger (target: Amethyst)
    Amethyst - Rollout (building speed)

    Shockwave - Rain Dance
    Arena - Rain Dance activated
    Amethyst - Rollout (building speed)

    Shockwave - Agility
    Amethyst - Rollout (closing in on target)

    Shockwave - side Iron Tail
    Amethyst - Rollout (diverted, crash into wall)
    Arena - Rain Dance ended

    Amethyst - Hyper Beam (target: Shockwave)
    Shockwave - Protect

    Amethyst - fatigued, KO
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 18th October 2008 at 05:53 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 6, first two battles posted!)

    Chapter 6: great battle! And a very original way to escape a Destiny Bond. I think the moves were clear enough to be understood without the summary (save for Mega Punch, I missed that one), but it may be a good idea when less common moves are used, or when the battle shares the focus with something else. I like it.

    Chapter 7: I love your descriptions and your attention to details.
    I found both battles quite similar in that the opponents' overconfidence was their downfall. It serves to show that both Lune and Shockwave know how to take advantage of these situations, but the fact that one happened right after the other is either a strange coincidence or a sad reflection of the state of the kingdom and its inhabitants. Anyway, I'm sure not all their opponents will make the same mistake. If I recall correctly, some were clearly smarter than these two.

    Keep writing, I really enjoy reading this.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 6, first two battles posted!)

    Yay, thanks for posting, Gabi!

    I'm glad that my original intent - to represent attacks clearly without having to name them - is accomplished for the most part. I'm also glad that you think the summaries can be useful. If it gets to a point where you change your mind about the summaries, let me know! I can modify or totally scrap them.

    You're right - not every opponent is ridiculously outclassed. I was going for more of a Lune-and-Shockwave-are-just-that-awesome sense, but now that you mention it, the opponents just look too overconfident. I'll definitely take that into account for later battles. Thanks!

    New chapters should be up relatively soon. I want to spend some extra time looking over them, and I've got some programming stuff to do this week, but it shouldn't be too long before I post more.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 6, first two battles posted!)

    Last battle of Round 1!

    Chapter 7
    Never Guarantees in Battle

    Silvery stars twinkled softly in the jet-black sky. The golden moon cast its luminous glow on the arena below. A warm, comforting silence from the subdued crowd served, in its own way, to encourage the final battlers of the day as if excited, enthusiastic spectators cheered loudly for them from the sidelines. The silent spectators watched the two combatants, not knowing what to expect.

    One stood perfectly still, holding his metallic claws up and crossing them together in a defensive position. Starlight shone onto his gleaming crimson coat, revealing his slender figure, and, just barely, the gossamer wings on his back. His opponent pawed the ground anxiously. The bulldog snapped his huge jaws and pounded his fists together, threatening to crush the opposing mantis. A hint of impatience spread across his face, as if he possessed some burning need for combat.

    Awestruck, the spectators looked on as the two stared each other down, wondering who would make the first move – Bill the Scizor, with his cool, yet slightly nervous gaze; or Thor the Granbull, with his reckless, frightful glare. Above, Emperor Ryu’s face twisted into a thoughtful frown. “Hmm… I’ve seen this Granbull in a lot of other tournaments. He’s good. He’s been champ in one of our earliest tournaments a few years ago. He knows Fire Punch. Scizor is quadruply weak to fire. He doesn’t stand a chance,” Emperor Ryu commented wisely.

    As things went, the more experienced and incidentally the more aggressive of the two struck first. With amazing speed, Thor lived up to his name, smelting the red mantis with massive, sizzling bolts of lightning that blackened Bill’s delicate wings. Just as the Scizor fell to his knees, twitching in agony, a distant, steely cry drew Thor’s attention to a dim corner. Out of seemingly nowhere, a crackling orange monstrosity lanced forth, catching its victim by surprise… Thor shut his eyes tightly to endure the searing pain; it was not enough that he clamped his jaws closed and clenched his fists. It was intolerable. In furious agony, the Granbull pounced on Bill, and, howling, drove his flaming fist directly into the Scizor’s chest. The impact shattered Thor’s target into pieces, revealing the real Bill some ways behind.

    “Good use of Substitute,” whispered Lune.

    “Quick thinking,” Shockwave agreed, “but he’s not conserving his energy enough. Hyper Beam right off the start, not to mention how much he put into that Substitute for it to take both the Thunder and Fire Punch… He can win, though.”

    “Yeah. Thor’s got the experience, but Bill shows promise.”

    “It’ll be interesting to see how this one works out. Watch. It looks like Thor is starting something.”

    Thor laughed, but the sound that came out sounded more like a half-roar. “Good work! You tricked me. But don’t expect me to fall for that again.”

    At that, Thor began firing rapidly, one after the other, greenish-yellow orbs of electricity that traveled at frightful speeds.

    “Wow! Look at the speed of those Zap Cannons!” the Farfetch’d cried. “Zap Cannon is supposed to move relatively slowly, but Thor won’t have it! They don’t call him Thor for nothing!”

    “Zap Cannon barrage… Too fast!” Bill gasped, barely escaping the first with a starry, nearly impenetrable barrier, then narrowly avoiding the second by jumping aside.

    “He’s losing confidence,” Shockwave stated. “Disappointing.”

    “He needs to focus to have a chance,” Lune agreed.

    The third of Thor’s electrical assault approached Bill rapidly. If the Scizor didn’t think fast, he would be subject to its wrath… Hoping for the best, he looked towards the sky, and his wings began to whir quickly. Just seconds before impact, Bill lifted off the ground, saving himself from the electrical orb that went skimming past his feet.

    “Do you think you can escape through flying, Scizor?”

    This time, Bill made no attempt to dodge, but instead, closed his eyes. Within moments, his gleaming red coat shone with a mystical aura - one that would keep him safe. As the highly concentrated energy struck him, he did not feel his muscles lock up like they would have under normal circumstances. He was free of the bonds of paralysis.

    “Quick reaction, but I’m not through!” With a startlingly high leap, Thor managed to grab onto Bill’s leg with his right arm, then began to pound the Scizor repeatedly with his flaming red fists.

    Gasping, Bill raised a claw and brought it down onto his aggressor’s head, at the same time charging his other with crackling, yellow-green energy…

    “He’s seen Zap Cannon so many times, he’s had the opportunity to Mimic it. That’s it!” Shockwave cheered. “This battle is going to get interesting again.”

    “Alright, Bill! Beat that veteran!” Lune yelled.

    Bill regained his fighting spirit. He flew up higher… “Fall, Thor!” he cried, while slamming the energy orb into the Granbull’s face. Thor maintained a firm grip, but, as his muscles refused to cooperate, he was forced to release his hold and fall to the ground far below…

    A sickening crack marked Thor’s landing, and it looked as if he was not going to get up… Painfully slowly, though, the persistent Granbull rolled over his side until he faced the ground, then pushed his body upwards with his arms and legs.

    “As expected, the veteran Thor is still going!” the Farfetch’d announced. “And soon, he’ll just use Heal Bell to remove his paralysis. Too bad for Bill the Scizor!”

    Bill shook his head. “Oh, no you don’t,” he muttered. “I’ve worked too hard for this. I think I have an idea…” Addressing Thor, he called, “Hey, are you really going to be wussy and Heal Bell? I wouldn’t, but I’m probably braver than you are. You can go ahead and be a coward if you want. I don’t care. My opponent is a scaredy-Granbull! Scaredy scaredy Granbull!” Bill danced tauntingly, working his opponent into a rage.

    Thor growled. “On another day, I would be tempted to turn your insults against you. However, you have shown me that even a rookie’s tricks can be dangerous.” He reached into the darkness to retrieve an ephemeral bell, which he rang. The clarity of its music resonated powerfully within those who could hear it. As Thor listened to the clear song, he could feel his stiffness fading away.

    Bill had risen high in the air, a safe distance from Thor’s reach. While his opponent pondered how to reach him, the Scizor relaxed, waiting to regain lost stamina.

    Seeing no simple way to connect his attacks, the Granbull sought to provoke his opponent. “You! Scizor! Too scared to come down?” Bill ignored him.

    Finally, Bill’s raspy breathing evened again, and he decided to continue. “It’s now or never…” Gathering all of his remaining strength, Bill joined his claws together to house a violently sparking orb… It burned orange with its intensity, swelling as long as Bill could continue directing energy into it. At last, he began to lower himself, and Thor saw this as a chance to vent out his fury… But as much as he wanted to punish Bill for the earlier insults, Thor waited for his opponent to close the gap. There was no sense in bringing himself closer to the energy beam’s searing devastation.

    The Scizor’s released energy lanced towards Thor, who summoned much of his final reserves to shield himself against it. The plasma dispersed across the invisible barrier just as the exhausted Thor let his shield collapse. Likewise, Bill had fallen on his knees. Despite their frustration at their inconclusive final clash, neither seemed able to stand.

    “What an outcome!” the Farfetch’d cried. “The rookie, Bill, has put up a spectacular fight against his veteran opponent. Since both are unable to continue, the battle will end in a draw. This ends Round One. Congratulations to all!”
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 7th December 2008 at 11:25 AM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 7 posted)

    No summary this time?

    I liked this battle even better than the previous ones. It was clear that both opponents were making an effort to win, and the way it ended made the title make sense. Although there still seems to be one guarantee: Emperor Ryu's predictions are always wrong.

    And I liked the third sentence a lot.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 7 posted)

    Hehe, thank you I liked that sentence too.

    I was writing the Battle Summary for this one and I think it turned out more confusing than the chapter description - so I decided to leave it be. There were a lot of non-attack attacks (if that makes sense) such as psychological attacks from either side. And there was stuff going on with the overuse or conserving of energy which I couldn't clearly express without just rephrasing what was written.

    I'm not sure how to handle battles like that... Perhaps I could do something like summary-on-request? Or clarification on request - I could explain parts that were unclear, if asked. But I do plan to do a battle summary for most battles, especially the upcoming ones.

    As for Emperor Ryu, we've got to give him credit - he's very consistent! His predictions help us guess the outcome of the battle.

    I agree that the first two battles were rather one-sided. This won't continue with the later chapters, as the weaker opponents get eliminated from the initial rounds. And (Spoiler:) the opponents out in the world are potentially stronger too, since there is a larger base to choose from. Shockwave and Lune's debut battles are there to show that these guys are not to be messed with, and regardless of apparent type advantage, they probably have the upper hand in battle. They outclass a lot of opponents, so they are beyond petty things like type advantages.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 25th September 2008 at 10:21 AM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 7 posted)

    Hey, guys, is Gabi the only one reading this? Don't get me wrong, Gabi's comments are awesome, and I really appreciate her reading this. But if you're lurking, don't be shy, I'd love to hear from you, too!

    Chapter 8
    Ignorance and Unrest

    Voices… Lune darted off the golden pathway and into a dense bush of sweet-smelling flowers.

    “This place stinks!” an Aipom commented, referring to the neatly paved, carefully decorated, peacefully organized Sacred Kingdom.

    “Yeah, yeah, I bet we can make it better!” his companion, a Mankey said excitedly.

    “Hey! Look, Elbuort!” The Aipom pointed at the large greeting sign ahead. Both stopped walking to examine it.

    Elbuort scratched behind his ear and began to read. “Hmm… Welcome to the Sacred Kingdom. We pride ourselves in this beautiful realm. Please take heed of our rules to ensure a pleasant stay and a wonderful experience. For entertainment purposes, we host many frequent peacetime tournaments. If you wish to participate, please register at the beginning of each tournament. You may request an Adviser,

    “…who will work hard with you to bring out your true potential in battle,” Lune continued, emerging from his hiding place. “May I help you?”

    “Toidi, this tournament stuff sounds fun. Don’t you think so?” Elbuort asked the Aipom.

    “Yeah. Hey, you, Eevee, do you know where we can find these so-called Enticers?”

    “Advisers…” Lune corrected.

    “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Toidi waved his hand disinterestedly. “Do you know where they are or not?”

    “I happen to be one of them,” Lune replied.

    “What are you waiting for?” Elbuort demanded. “Help us already!”

    “First, I believe you should learn a few rules of the Sacred Kingdom. Don’t worry; we’ll do this one step at a time.”

    “To hell with rules!” the Aipom yelled. “We’re not stupid. We know the rules already.”

    Lune gritted his teeth. If Shockwave were here, he’d make sure that Lune didn’t lose control of his temper at the wrong time. Lune had low tolerance levels for pokémon such as these. Unfortunately, he ran into them all the time. It was all he could do to keep himself from acting rashly. Whenever he lost his temper, despite his efforts to control himself, he always regretted it. Lune just had to hope he could control himself long enough…

    “All right, then,” Lune uttered with difficulty, “follow me. The forest clearing where we will have the training session is a short distance ahead.”

    ***

    “So you’re saying that you can teach us how to do special moves that nobody else can do, right?” asked Toidi.

    “I can help bring out your unique personal potential, yes,” Lune clarified.

    “Good. Then here’s what you’re going to do for us.” The Mankey, Elbuort, paused to scratch his pig-like snout. “Teach me how to explode without hurting myself so that I can always win my battles no matter what!”

    Lune thought he would faint when he heard the request. He had found the duo annoying, but didn’t think they would be ridiculously irrational. “I’m sorry. Perhaps I didn’t explain clearly. I can’t help you learn to do things that are physically impossible. I can only help to bring out your individual traits and refine that into an ability unique to you.”

    Toidi looked insulted. “Are you saying we aren’t capable of anything good? Is that what you’re saying?”

    “Is this how you treat visitors in this kingdom?” Elbuort continued. “Do you know who we are? We’re both Guardians of the Savage Wilderness. How dare you insult us? Who is in charge of this kingdom? I’m going to report to him right now.”

    “I didn’t even slightly imply that you are not capable battlers,” Lune replied, sensing a dangerous situation. If the two were intent on ignoring all reasoning that contradicted their conclusions, he wouldn’t be able to escape from the situation with logic. “Nothing I said was meant to insult you. I’m merely explaining that at the moment, I do not know what your special abilities are. If you allow me to do my job, we’ll find that out together. I do, however, believe that it is highly unlikely that your special ability involves exploding without injury. Even to pokémon who are experts at creating explosions, it is impossible to cause the blast without suffering some harm.”

    “Did you hear that, Elbuort?” asked Toidi. “He said we’re not experts at exploding. He really is insulting us!”

    Elbuort was outraged. “It seems you really don’t understand how important we are. We’ll teach you a lesson. Then we’ll report you and get you punished!”

    Following Elbuort’s lead, Toidi approached Lune, preparing to give the Eevee a beating.

    Lune backed against a tree. As far as probability of winning the battle, the scales were tipped heavily in his favor. However, attacking visitors was illegal. Even more so if they held powerful positions such as Guardianships. Tempted though he was to rid the world of a couple of idiots, Lune knew that the consequences of fighting them far outweighed the risks. He would have to escape without touching them.

    The Eevee assumed a defensive stance, ready to spring when the chance presented itself. “Do you two really think you can win against me?” he asked. The taunt worked, and as the pair charged at him, they converged onto the same path…

    Lune leapt to avoid the assault. While he landed safely on the grass ahead, his attackers crashed together into the tree that Lune had been standing against. Entangled and dazed, Toidi and Elbuort were unable to chase after their target as he disappeared through the trees.

    ***

    The sound of the rushing falls helped to calm Lune’s nerves. It was over… He was in the sacred meadow. He had to try to relax. But every time he sat down, he would relive the events again and pace around, growling.

    Shockwave observed the Eevee with some amusement. He was accustomed to this behavior whenever Lune had Adviser duties. Still, Lune looked slightly more bothered than usual, so Shockwave thought he'd better ask. "You're angry. What happened this time?"

    Instead of answering, Lune rambled incomprehensibly about pokémon whose names Shockwave couldn’t catch. Finally, the Eevee stopped muttering and asked, “Why are pokémon born without brains?”

    “Shake it off, Lune. You don't have to get stressed out over every pokémon that you'll probably only have to Advise once.” Shockwave splashed cool, refreshing water onto the fuming Eevee’s face. “Hmm… What did you say their names were again?”

    “Elbuort and Toidi.” Lune bared his teeth, and his mouth began to foam.

    “Hey…”

    “What?”

    “Ever tried mirroring their names?”

    Lune frowned, puzzled for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Shockwave, you rule.”

    Shockwave grinned.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 9th October 2008 at 10:16 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 8 posted)

    Wow, you posted that chapter on my TPM anniversary and I wasn't there to see it! Anyway, I find Elbuort's and Toidi's stupidity amusing, but only as an outsider. It must have taken Lune a great deal of patience and self-control to deal with them so tactfully, even if this was only the beginning.

    By the way, how do the inhabitants of the Savage Wilderness get their names? I mean who names them, and how are the names chosen? (And how did the tradition - if there is one - begin?)

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 8 posted)

    Hey Gabi! Happy belated TPM Anniversary! I didn't realize it was your anniversary, either.

    You've got a good question there. Thank you for asking, that reminds me - I'll make an effort to explain each State's philosophy and such in later chapters as they come along.

    The Savage Wilderness is founded on the principles Illogic, Stupidity, and Thoughtless Arguments. The best representatives of their ideals are the ones worthy of being their Guardians. They pretty much choose their own names by putting together syllables that they think have a nice ring to it. By pure coincidence, some of them unknowingly select names that grant amusement to... smarter outsiders. Not every Savage Wilderness pokémon has such a name, though; some of their names have no apparent meaning, no matter how they are arranged. But you'll see that these ones don't really fit into their State.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 8 posted)

    Chapter 9
    The Emperor’s Wrath

    The paved pathway sparkled with the rays of the afternoon sun. It was a perfectly lazy day. No one did much but relax. No preparations for the coming second round of the tournament would be made today; the traditional rushing would come tomorrow, the day before Round Two would begin. But today was meant to be lazy.

    As Shockwave and Lune ambled casually down the path, heading for the heart of the Kingdom where all the fun idleness lay, a messenger Sandshrew barred their way.

    “Are y-y-y-you L-Lune?” she stammered, staring at the Eevee as if he was an atomic bomb that could go off at any minute. He nodded.

    “Emperor Ryu has… has… has sent for you,” she managed.

    Shockwave was puzzled. “Lune, what’s this about?”

    Having a good idea of what it was about, and not enjoying the thought, Lune tried to think of a way to avoid the question. “Uh…”

    Unfortunately for Lune, the Sandshrew answered for him. “Emperor Ryu was v-v-v-very angry. He needed to see you about attacking v-v-v-visitors.” The Sandshrew shrank back in fear, trembling after every word she spoke.

    Shockwave turned to Lune in horror. “You WHAT?”

    “To be fair, I didn’t attack them… the tree did.”

    “Lune, you’re not making much sense.”

    “I told them their demands were impossible. They attacked me. I dodged and let them crash themselves into a tree so I could get away. I assume they’ve gone and shown Ryu the bruises it gave them, and said it was my fault.”

    Shockwave remained silent. After a while, he began to speak, slowly. “If it was that simple, why didn’t you just tell me this before?” He looked hurt. “I could have helped with some damage control.”

    “Sorry…”

    At this point, the Sandshrew was trembling like a water balloon on the verge of bursting. “Um, e-e-e-excuse me, but could you p-p-please hurry? Emperor Ryu doesn’t like w-w-waiting.”

    “Lune…” Shockwave whispered, softly but clearly, “Be careful. And this time, bow!”

    ***

    Emperor Ryu had chosen a rather unfavorable place for a meeting. It was dark, hot, stuffy, and horribly depressing. Lune sat dejectedly in a corner, picturing various images of electrically fried Ampharos as he waited.

    Lune was willing to bet that Emperor Ryu’s silence was intentional, that it was meant to make him angry, and that Emperor Ryu was bent upon wasting his valuable time. Finally, he could take it no longer, and he confronted the Ampharos, growling. “What the heck do you want from me, you… infuriating… ARGH!”

    The Emperor withdrew slightly, but remained relatively calm. “Your behavior, Eevee, is unacceptable.”

    “And yours isn’t? You’re a good-for-nothing hypocrite! When are you going to do something good for the Sacred Kingdom, Ryu? You and your talk about rules, about appropriate behavior! You and your lofty speeches urging everyone to do hard work and make the Sacred Kingdom a better place! When are you going to stop talking about things and instead make them happen?”

    “That’s not the point right now. The point is that you attacked two visitors here.”

    “Yeah? How do you know? You just take their word for it and don’t give me a chance to say anything in my defense? They didn’t even understand the rules! They turned on me! I am fully to blame and they are not?”

    “Don’t you dare give me any of that nonsense about rules. You are pushing me over the edge. If I ever hear about you causing trouble again, you will be banished from the Sacred Kingdom forever! I don’t care what your excuse is. You are wrong, and you’d better damn shut up about it before it’s too late!”

    Lune glared at the Emperor. Their flaring gazes met. Each was too stubborn to back down. Each wanted the last word. Shockwave’s warning rang through Lune’s mind…

    This had gone far enough. Lune had foolishly let his anger control him; he needed to stop before things took a turn for the worst. Averting his gaze, Lune turned reluctantly away and forced himself to leave.

    ***

    “Lay low,” Lord Yoruno advised.

    “Shockwave…” Lune whispered, wishing the Pikachu were here, “What have I done?”

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 9 posted)

    Hmm... I think both Lune and I could use the break we just can't get.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 9 posted)

    Aww, I'm sorry that you've had to put up with so many difficulties.

    As for Lune, he's a punishment magnet. Bad fortune seems attracted to him.

    Chapter 10

    Promises

    “Ugh. I knew it. I was against his coronation from the very beginning. Then again, there certainly wasn’t much to choose from back then, either.”

    “You’re not mad at me?” Lune felt relieved.

    Shockwave shrugged. “At least you told me what happened this time.”

    “Sorry… I won’t hide things from you again. I promise.”

    “Okay.”

    “Hmm, it’s almost time.” Lune got to his feet, shaking the blades of meadow grass from his fur.

    “Huh?”

    “I set up a practice battle with Lady Naien today. She said she would wait at the Misty Lake. It’ll help keep both of us in shape. The Tournament of the Eternal Flame that she wants to join will begin soon. C’mon, Shockwave, let’s go meet her.”

    ***

    A harsh wind rattled the flimsy skeletons of the bushes, which stayed barren even in this spring. Lune shivered, panting as he climbed with difficulty up the steep mountain slope. The biting frost was vicious. Dry mountain air rarely got any crueler than this. Shockwave, of course, moved along effortlessly, stopping to wait for the struggling Eevee from time to time.

    Suddenly, the bleak, deserted landscape was gone. Rugged, rust-colored dirt slopes transformed into soft meadow grass. Here the ground leveled and the howling wind stopped.

    The Misty Lake was named by no accident. High among the clouds, surrounded by a ring of lush, forested mountains, this vast crystalline lake was shrouded in a light, mysterious mist. It was a tranquil scene and well worth the perilous climb.

    As the day came to its end, reflected across the lake were the red and golden rays of the setting sun. Lune sighed and settled down in the soft grass, smiling when Shockwave made the point of taking a dip in the icy lake water.

    “You should come in too.” Shockwave smirked.

    “Heck, no way. The water’s freezing!”

    “I’ll drag you in!”

    With that, the Pikachu got out of the lake and began to chase after Lune.

    Lune broke into a run. “Not this time, Shockwave!”

    ***

    “Looks like she isn’t coming…” Shockwave looked over at the disappointed Lune, who was gazing blankly at the stars above. “You were really looking forward to that battle, huh?”

    “Yeah, but it’s not just that…” Lune dipped his paw into the lake water, watching the ripples spread. Lady Naien had promised, and Lune valued promises. Part of the reason Emperor Ryu disgusted him was the fact that the Emperor continually made empty promises that he would never keep. For Lune, promises were not made to be broken. He wanted to believe that Lady Naien understood this principle… that she was just busy with other matters, and that this disappointment would not repeat itself. He pushed the nagging sentiment into the background of his thoughts, but it seemed to fight its way back to bother him.

    Shockwave shrugged. “You can battle her some other time, you know.”

    “Yeah…”

    “Hmm. It’s too late to get back down now. We can spend the night up here and go back tomorrow.”

    Lune nodded in agreement, then flinched. “Oh, no…”

    “What is it?”

    “The Tournament of Eternal Flame begins tomorrow morning. I promised Lady Naien that I would be there… I keep my promises.”

    “If we move fast, we’ll make it back by sunrise. Come on!” Shockwave darted down the slopes.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 6th October 2008 at 02:49 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 10 posted)

    They had both promised to meet at two different places, far away from each other? That sounds inconvenient.

    I loved the description of the Misty Lake.

    Just a question... What did Lune tell Shockwave about Elbuort and Toidi at the end of chapter 9? He told him their names and that they had no brains, but not that they got mad at him and hit a tree while trying to attack him, right? So how much did Shockwave know before Lune was summoned by Emperor Ryu?

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 10 posted)

    You've got a good point there, Gabi - in my mind I envisioned that the conversation went something like this:

    (Enter a frustrated Lune to the sanctuary)

    Shockwave: You're angry. What went wrong this time?

    Lune: (undecipherable ranting, listener catches the names "Toidi" and "Elbuort") Why are pokémon born without brains? (restless pacing)

    ...etc.

    Though now that you mention it, I understand that it's definitely not made clear at all. Do you think I should go back and elaborate? I wanted to avoid repeating stuff that readers could guess happened, but it does look like I left it a bit too vague.


    And I'm glad you liked the Misty Lake The Sacred Kingdom is a busy place, and from that episode we can tell that Lune and Naien have a lot on their minds. It didn't even occur to them how inconvenient their arrangement would be!

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 10 posted)

    Cold-hearted genius in action!

    Chapter 11

    The Tournament of Eternal Flame

    The heavy stench of sulfur thickened the tangible air. The sweltering heat here was so dense that Lune could see it move. He found it difficult to breathe in this choking atmosphere. Even Shockwave displayed signs of discomfort. Yet they would endure it, for Lady Naien.

    Hot, glowing coals paved the ground of this mysteriously natural arena. The smooth stones, white to begin with, gleamed red like blazing fire, somehow never smothered by the thick black ash that hung in the air. These, Lune suspected, had some sort of magical quality unknown thus far… He gazed down the gaping mouth of the dark cavern that seemed to lead down into the farthest depths of the land. The rough mountain range beyond was strange and unwelcoming, worse so than the dreary slopes that led up to the Misty Lake. Even Shockwave who enjoyed adventure would not venture there. The cavern itself was hostile. Lune had entered it once, and he had felt like he faced the wrath of an ever-raging inferno… He had barely made it out alive, and not without Shockwave’s help.

    “Hmm, looks like Emperor Ryu will not be keeping track of this tournament. Lune? …Did you just hear what I said? Talk to me! I’m getting worried.” There was a slight tinge of alarm in Shockwave’s voice.

    “Um…” Lune blinked, snapping back into reality. “Sorry, I guess I’m a little more tired than I thought.”

    Shockwave laughed nervously. “Right. So, anyway, Lady Naien’s next. Look who she’s up against!”

    An ever-cool Umbreon stood calmly on the burning stones, not showing the slightest sign of pain. In fact, his face revealed no emotion of any sort. His dark, gleaming fur glistened even now in the filthy atmosphere, glorified even more by the luminescent glow of his bright yellow rings. He stood perfectly still and did not blink.

    “Lord Yoruno?” Lune nearly fell over in surprise. “He doesn’t seem to care that the arena was chosen so that Fire types alone could long endure it…”

    Shockwave nodded. “This should be interesting. The only question now is how good of a fight Lady Naien can put up before Lord Yoruno prevails.”

    Lune looked over at Lady Naien. The white skull crest on her chest glowed as her face did with determination. Her long, slender tail was lifted high in the air threateningly like a scorpion’s in an offensive stance, poised and ready to strike. Eyes blazing with fire, the Houndoom was ready to give this match everything she’d got, and more.

    “Lady Naien will try her hardest… Either way, she won’t be disappointed. I give her five minutes at most,” Lune said.

    “Nah, she’ll last a little longer than that. When she does, you have to jump into the Misty Lake for however long she held out!” Such was Shockwave’s challenge, but Lune was unworried.

    “All right, then, it’s a bet. But don’t count on seeing me get into those hellish icy waters anytime soon! I won’t lose. Not this time.” Lune was sure of it.

    Enthusiastic spectators cheered the two combatants on, impatient for the match to begin. In the confusion, all but an attentive few failed to notice Lord Yoruno. Rings glimmering even in the haze, he began to fade, slightly at first, while his body grew ever dimmer as his faint outline shone – then, abruptly, he was gone. A cry of surprise rushed through the onlookers as they finally realized that Lord Yoruno had disappeared. Lady Naien scanned the arena uneasily. Like most, she had no clue as to Lord Yoruno’s whereabouts.

    “He just jumped,” Shockwave whispered, pointing. “Now he’s making his way stealthily behind her.”

    At first Lune was bewildered. He could not understand how Shockwave could have spotted the completely invisible Lord Yoruno. As he strained to see, though, he realized that several stones behind Lady Naien were weighed down, barely. Lord Yoruno had nearly gotten away with it, but even he could not conceal his step, however light. Still, Lune knew he would not have caught this if Shockwave had not shown him. Lady Naien remained oblivious to it all, and her searching eyes now displayed a frantic light. She could not find Lord Yoruno.

    Suddenly, the hot white stones began to glow – in spite of themselves – the coldest blue that Lune had ever seen; he shivered, chilled by the cruel light. Willingly the gleaming stones rose, some from a circular perimeter around Lady Naien, enclosing her in a glowing prison as they flew into the sky and trapped her in a sphere; the others from below her, breaking loose of the layer of ash, coming out from under her feet and forcing her to stumble. Now, it seemed, Lord Yoruno had no more intention of hiding himself, and the Umbreon revealed his position a safe distance away. With a signaling nod, he commanded the suspended stones to strike, and all obeyed their master, flinging themselves at the horrified Houndoom within.

    Lightning flashed in the sky, crashing through dark clouds of ill omen. To Lady Naien it seemed the raining of the stones lasted an eternity… But she did not know that once the vicious barrage ended, a new terror began. Water gushed forth from the clouds in torrents, stinging her no less relentlessly than the flying stones. She cried for the rain to stop, but instead of slowing, the storm worsened with renewed fury, and she gave up the mental struggle. Lord Yoruno’s will was too strong now.

    Just when things couldn’t possibly have gotten any worse, the abundance of stones that had clattered to the ground rose for a second time, and it seemed that nothing would prevent another assault. Gathering her courage and strength, Lady Naien now looked to the shadows for help, and they came. In three balls around her, darkness collected swiftly, and, stripped of time, unable to wait for the throbbing orbs to reach their full potential, Lady Naien struck each one, sending them lurching forward in her panic. Three separate explosions resulted; the stones involved in the collision were annihilated in the rippling ethereal eruptions. For a fleeting moment Lord Yoruno’s psionic control seemed to falter…

    Taking advantage of what she hoped was her opponent’s blunder, Lady Naien howled mournfully, calling for mercy, as she turned her head upwards to the hidden sun. This time Lord Yoruno did not fight back, and the tormenting storm clouds parted, leaving the sun to shine down upon the waterlogged land, tentatively at first, then stronger. With the sun beaming down upon her, Lady Naien felt, for the first time, that now she had a chance to launch an offensive of her own. The Houndoom’s coat dried quickly under the warm rays, and every moment she felt energy from the sunlight surge through her body increasingly faster… Lady Naien radiated with a golden glow, intense as the rays of the sun. Lune saw her body sparkle with light as she walked, painfully but determinedly towards Lord Yoruno. He gazed on calmly, making no effort to escape.

    With a cry, Lady Naien unleashed her gathered power in a single stabbing pillar of light that engulfed the waiting Umbreon and shattered him to pieces. At that same instant, a crackling energy beam lanced forth from the real Lord Yoruno behind the Houndoom before she overcame her momentary confusion.

    When she realized what had happened it was too late. Roaring, Lady Naien shook her head with vicious rage, driven mad by the searing agony that tore at her flesh. Her mouth foamed with thick, white froth, and though the energy had faded, she continued to twitch horribly, shivering with unwanted memory of the pain.

    Lord Yoruno bolted, kicking up ash and stone as he ran ever swifter, until he became merely a black streak in the smoke-filled arena. Then he swerved and made straight for Lady Naien, lowering his head to ram her… Just barely, the Houndoom’s body, lined with a red glare, flashed suddenly – and, to everyone’s amazement, Lord Yoruno was thrown back.

    Still calmly the Umbreon leapt to his feet, then approached Lady Naien, emotionless, but like a silent predator ready to deal the final blow to his hapless prey. Lady Naien, however, had one last defense. In a final burst of blazing fury, eyes flashing with one last hope, the Houndoom descended upon her opponent with a terrible rush of power, dealing blow after frenzied blow with frightening swiftness, transforming her pain and weakness into strength, and turning it into her opponent’s suffering and sorrow. For an instant it looked as if predator had been turned to prey, and prey to predator, and many thought that all had been reversed. But the past events of the taxing battle proved too much for Lady Naien to bear… Bringing his glinting tail of metallic silver crashing down upon the Houndoom’s skull, Lord Yoruno ended her assault swiftly. Long silence followed.

    “Five minutes and three seconds, Lune!” Shockwave yelled. “Haha! I win!” Hearing no response from Lune, Shockwave paused, then saw that the Eevee lay on the floor asleep. His careworn face was filled with lined of worry. Shockwave wondered at Lune’s unnatural thinness and the frail softness of his fur. The Eevee had been troubled much lately, worrying about something he would not tell Shockwave about, and in the meantime neglecting to take care of himself. Shockwave sighed. He couldn’t ask Lune to stop being closed and reveal his feelings, but if Lune didn’t start eating soon, Shockwave would have to force him to come to his senses. Lune stirred.

    “Are you staying to watch the rest?” Shockwave asked, already knowing the answer.

    “I’m exhausted. I’m heading back to the Sanctuary. Tell me what happens, and I mean every single detail. I’m counting on you! Oh, and it seems I have lost the bet. I’ll fulfill the requirements after I get some sleep.” Lune winked, and was off.




    ***

    Battle Summary (Chapter 11) - Lady Naien (Houndoom) vs. Lord Yoruno (Umbreon)

    Yoruno - Faint Attack (vanish), leap (land behind Naien)

    Yoruno - Psychic (target: stones, secondary target: Naien)

    Yoruno - Rain Dance
    Naien - attempt Sunny Day counter (failure)
    Arena - Rain Dance in effect

    Yoruno - Psychic (target: stones, secondary target: Naien)
    Naien - triple light Shadow Ball (target: stones)

    Yoruno - Substitute (unnoticed)
    Naien - Sunny Day
    Arena - Sunny Day in effect

    Naien - Solarbeam (target: "Yoruno")
    Yoruno - Substitute destroyed; Hyper Beam (target: Naien)

    Yoruno - Agility, Headbutt (target: Naien)
    Naien - Counter (Agility + Headbutt combo)

    Naien - Reversal (target: Yoruno)
    Yoruno - Iron Tail (target: Naien)

    Naien - KO
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 19th December 2008 at 11:11 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 11 posted - battle scene!)

    Ah, that makes sense.

    Poor Lune... again.

    Your descriptions are amazing, Karin! Both of the places and the battles. I definitely wouldn't want to be in that place. And the thought of red-hot pebbles glowing blue in spite of themselves made me chuckle.

    As for clarifying the ending of chapter 9... I think it could help. Something like the reply you gave me would work.

    I found the summary useful this time... If I have the chance I'll read the battle again tomorrow to catch any details I've missed.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 11 posted - battle scene!)

    Thank you, Gabi!

    Also, I updated chapter 8 according to your advice. Hopefully it reads less awkwardly now

    As for Lune, it's his fault for accepting a bet from Shockwave! He should know that Shockwave always wins. Hehe.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 10th October 2008 at 04:45 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 11 posted - battle scene!)

    Nicely done. Thanks.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 11 posted - battle scene!)

    I'm busy at the moment, but if I keep putting off replying the chapters will build up to the point where I won't be bothered to catch up, so I'll just review the first two chapters for now. Once again, it's great to see this fic back. You really get a sense of how secret the meadow is in Chapter 1, with the waterfall and everything. Although I wish we got a bit more distinctive description of the meadow itself, not just the soft grass and flowers and generic stuff. Our first impression of Lune is on quite a gloomy note, which is interesting. I wonder if he's staying as an Eevee by choice, or if he was born with the Everstone or something. It's great to see Lune and Shockwave's pure joy in their friendship.

    Chapter 2: Shockwave making Lune bow made me laugh, and remember how I laughed when I read this the first time round. I'm not sure if this was done for the suspense, but it's weird reading about Shockwave asking about the look on Lune's face, when we have no idea what the look on Lune's face is. It made me feel emotionally distant from the characters because I didn't know how they were thinking or feeling. Ah, Emperor Ryu, the idiot -- at least he chooses Lady Naien, who's good if I remember correctly. His response to Shockwave's inappropriate cold amuses me.
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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 11 posted - battle scene!)

    Thank you misty!

    I really should elaborate more about the sanctuary at the beginning, just to make a point about how special it is. I do expand it in soon-to-come chapters, but perhaps it's better to talk more about it up front as well. I'll think about how to do that, thank you. ^^ Also, the Everstone will be explained eventually.

    You've got a good point about the look in Chapter 2. I'm going to explain it later, but perhaps the connection might not be as clear as I think it is. You've given me something to think about, I'll work on that, thanks again!

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 11 posted - battle scene!)

    Chapter 12
    Silent Assassins

    Cool, fresh stream water lapped gently over Lune’s face. The sound of the cascading waterfall splashing musically upon the water’s surface above soothed him. Almost immediately, as if in a dream, whatever doubts or tenseness remained in Lune was magically washed away by the silvery notes. Suddenly he just felt carefree, purged of his troubles by the sparkling radiance of the crystalline water and the warm, golden sunlight above all. This dive was the best thing in a long time that Lune had taken for himself. It was just so relaxing to roam freely underwater, gazing at the glittering sandy bottom of the stream.

    A shadow passed overhead. Another lurked nearby. Lune caught the gleam of cold, evil eyes. When he turned, the horror that he saw momentarily froze his heart. That sleek, blue figure… the red jewel on her forehead… the long, slender beak… those webbed hands and feet… Then a streak of green flew across the stream and waited on the grassy riverbed. There could be no mistake. Assassins.

    But here? In the Sanctuary? Was Lune safe nowhere? The Eevee gritted his teeth. He had to think… fast. He knew he could match a regular Golduck in swimming speed, but Assassins of every breed were fabled to be the swiftest, stealthiest, and most skillful of their kind.

    Only one advantage presented itself to Lune in this situation: he knew this stream’s very nature. The Assassin Golduck was in foreign waters. Lune paddled even harder, kicking with all his might although his muscles were sore and tired out. The water surface was still out of reach. Up ahead, though, he knew there was a powerful hidden current above. Even the Assassin Golduck would have trouble with it. Lune needed to go past it, all the time swimming directly beneath it, then pull up immediately after it ended. For, though his body could probably have endured the underwater flight, his lungs could not. He was out of breath, and he could already feel his lungs threatening to explode. His strokes weakened… Lune faltered… His pursuer crept up ever closer…

    But Lune would not fail. He didn’t have time to die just yet. Already he felt faint, but his mind pushed him on, and his heart, despite the lack of air, thumped hard against his chest. He could sense the ending of the hidden current ahead. Just a little more…

    Suddenly, Lune had gotten across. Everything seemed surreal; he was floating in a dream… But his body kept paddling, and steadily he rose, up, up, up, until he breached the water’s surface.

    Then, in a shock, reality rushed back to Lune as he sputtered and choked, gulping in huge mouthfuls of air thankfully. He gave a cry of joy, for his pursuer had pulled up too soon and now she fought against the swift current. Still, Lune hadn’t much time… He paddled to the shore and dragged himself out.

    Out of nowhere, Lune felt a sharp blow to the back of his head. He stumbled and fell. A wave of fear washed over him; suddenly he was afraid.

    A sleek, deadly mantis stood over Lune, brandishing his cold, cruel scythes. Lune felt a trickle of blood crawl down his neck. Colors began to swirl together into a chaotic mass, and images blurred. The Assassin Scyther snickered; a menacing gleam flashed through his eyes. His body was emerald green; his bared teeth were a pearly white; his wings fluttered in the wind, but they were no less cruel than the rest of him, for the topmost ones grew upon two sharp, long spines that pointed outward. He opened his mouth and began to speak. Lune, wavering between light and darkness, had to struggle to understand.

    “Fool! You should never have betrayed Emperor Ryu. Do you know what we’re going to do to you now?” The Assassin Scyther paused to gloat upon the fear in his victim’s glazed eyes. When he saw that the Eevee was not going to respond further, he cackled. “Don’t despair; the blow I dealt you is nothing compared to what you will suffer next.” The Golduck pulled beside him, smirking devilishly.

    “Now,” the Scyther continued, “we must say goodbye. You’ll pay for resisting Emperor Ryu!”

    “Have you figured out your sorry fate yet?” the Golduck taunted. Lune did not answer. In fact, he could not; he had no strength left. He had lost his link to the real world.

    “We are going to disappear you,” the Scyther whispered in a sinister tone, with relish. “Just think: no one will ever know. They will wonder where you have gone. They might begin to panic. Emperor Ryu will reassure them. Then, in a regretful tone, he will inform them that you were found drowned in a treacherous river. He will say that you had been swimming too deep and were swept up by a current. He will tell them it threw you down a waterfall. He will say that you fell to the rocks below; with your injured head, you could not swim. He will present your limp body. They will believe him. They will mourn you for a while, and then slowly you will be forgotten. No one will know the truth.”

    Lune listened, horrified but helpless. The glinting blade fell upon him… Everything went blur.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 11th November 2008 at 01:14 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 12 up - forgot to edit title ><)

    Chapter 3: I like your physical description of Lord Yoruno and his majesty. It's great to see Shockwave's serious side -- he's a funny guy, but now I understand a bit more of what drives him. It's funny how Lune's so serious, and it feels like something dramatic's going to happen when he's surprised, but it's just Shockwave as usual. I wish the same could be said for Lord Yoruno and Lady Naien though. I'm told how noble and kind they are, but until they show me their personalities by their actions, I won't be convinced.

    Chapter 4: Magcargo's ability is really imaginative! I can see the appeal of helping other Pokemon like that. Magcargo trying to get wings made me laugh. I wonder how it's that Magcargo in particular who has the ability... maybe she's particularly aggressive and heated, hehe. But... doesn't the Magcargo have a name? It seems strange to have names for some Pokemon and not others. In human fics you sometimes refer to someone as 'the girl', but not with someone who's active throughout the entire chapter... I'm excited to read the tournament now, and see everyone's abilities!
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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 12 up - forgot to edit title ><)

    Thanks misty I'll keep that in mind - I do have a tendency to forget to build characters with their actions. And yeah, Lune is totally overdramatic, he cracks me up ^^

    I never even thought about the Magcargo's name but you're right, it does seem awkward not to name her because she was featured in the whole chapter... I'll think of a name and slip it in.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 12 up - forgot to edit title ><)

    Chapter 5: that battle was so cool. Not much in the way of physical description, but because every move was so logical, I could see everything happening and it flowed really well. I love how Lune outwitted Shadow by draining his energy and by using Shadow Ball on the balcony. It's also interesting to see the mechanics behind Ghost Pokemon's immunity to Normal attacks.

    Chapter 6: Hehe, love how Lady Naien shuts Emperor Ryu up. I can already tell Shockwave has a different battling style to Lune -- so cheeky, baiting Amethyst right up until the last movement. Like Lune, he knows to take advantage of his opponent's weaknesses, but Shockwave seems more confident, almost on the point of being cocky. Perhaps the Iron Tail attack could be described though -- I'm having problems picturing how a Pikachu's tail can lift a Golem. The battle summary doesn't do anything for me, but other readers might find them useful.
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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 12 up - forgot to edit title ><)

    Hehe, thank you misty, chapter 5 is one of my favorite battles ^_^ And Shockwave is awesome, what can I say If you take his insults seriously you'll go mad.

    I'll think about how to fix the Iron Tail thing - basically he stuck his Iron Tail in the way and the Golem's momentum sent her flying into the wall, much like you can trip someone in a similar fashion.

    Chapter 13
    Awakened Fear

    “Right. I’m going to check on Lune now. He still needs to jump into the Misty Lake. Bye!” Shockwave prepared to leave, but Lady Naien stopped him.

    “No, wait,” she said.

    “Err… For what? It’s getting late. I really should be going.”

    “I can’t tell you yet, but it won’t be long. Just hold on; it’s important,” she pleaded. Lady Naien hurried off.

    Against his better judgment, Shockwave decided to humor the Houndoom’s request. Maybe. Depending on how long it took. With no better way of suppressing his anxiety, Shockwave turned his head skywards. The sun had already begun to settle behind the foreboding Shrieking Mountains – now a dark shade of gray in the shadows – and it blazed a deep red, like a ball of fire sinking through the sky. For a moment, the sky looked like an inferno, burning with intense red, orange, and gold. The vibrant flame reached across the land, now and then casting tongues of color down on hills; or caves; or stones; or grass. Then the fiery intensity lessened, and the colors in the sky became softer, like pastels. A gentle lavender seeped into the reds and golds. Here and there several white stars began to emerge and sparkle as the sky became an ocean of darkening blue. But the calmness of the heavens was not enough to reassure the worried Pikachu.

    Hesitantly Shockwave lingered, until the urge that steadily grew inside him became painfully difficult to ignore. Something felt horribly wrong, and he did not want to wait any longer. Just then, though, he heard two Donphan trumpeting, announcing the arrival of the Emperor.

    Emperor Ryu made his way to a high platform set a little aside from the marble bleachers, then gestured for attention. All who remained there fell silent. Shockwave’s felt a wave of cold rush through his blood, for he had just spotted Lady Naien behind Emperor Ryu in the shadows. What was that Ampharos planning to do? And was it just Shockwave’s imagination, or did Emperor Ryu actually look stern and worried?

    “Ahem.” The Ampharos raised his arms in the air. “Dearest loyal subjects, there is nothing I will ever regret saying more than the words I am about to utter. First of all, a certain Eevee-” Emperor Ryu cut himself short. To Lady Naien, he whispered: “What was his name? He had an Everstone on his forehead.”

    “Lune,” she replied gravely.

    “Ah yes. As I was saying,” he continued, turning to the crowd, “Lune the Eevee…” Emperor Ryu’s voice trailed off.

    At this, Shockwave’s leaden heart sank. “I knew there was something wrong. Lune, what happened to you?” He stood frozen, almost afraid to find out the answer.

    “Well, about Lune the Eevee, if he is out there, I would like to apologize to him.”

    Shockwave wasn’t sure that he had heard correctly. “What are you up to, Ryu?” he muttered.

    “I would like to apologize to him for treating him so harshly. I must admit that my behavior was unacceptable, and that I was under a lot of pressure at the time he confronted me. That brings me to my second and more important issue.” Emperor Ryu took a deep breath, as if what he was going to say required all the strength he could muster. “I am resigning as emperor, and I am leaving the Sacred Kingdom in the hands of Lord Yoruno and Lady Naien.”

    Shockwave stared up at the Ampharos in disbelief. Could Emperor Ryu really have said that? And why? By now, the uneasy feeling inside was choking him. Lune, please be all right… he thought, making for the Sanctuary with all haste.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 11th November 2008 at 12:00 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 13 up!)

    Oh, 2 chapters! Sorry, I had an exam and couldn't read them earlier.

    Chapter 12: I wonder how you managed to be so descriptive and maintain the tension at the same time. It was amazing! And I liked how you made it so that we could figure out the first assasin was a Golduck before you said it.

    Chapter 13 had a completely different pace. It was a bit shocking to read one chapter right after the other, but the tension came back with the cliffhanger. I hope you can post chapter 14 soon (not that I'm one to talk, but still).

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    Default Re: Lune - short chapters, comment please! (Chapter 13 up!)

    Thank you, Gabi ^_^ I think I know how you feel. I've been busy the past few weeks, too, with a few exams/projects of my own!

    Chapter 14
    Living Nightmares

    “NEVER!” Lune wailed, jerking his head upwards. He was bathed in sweat. The sun had begun to sink beneath the forest trees. There were no Assassins in the Sanctuary.

    “What in the name of…” Lune cut himself off. He grimaced painfully. “Well, Emperor Ryu, looks like you win the war. I don’t know why that vision came to me, but it’s just as well. I must leave the Sacred Kingdom by sundown. So,” he added resentfully, “goodbye, kingdom of horror! I am going home to where I belong: far away from the likes of Ryu.”

    Lune had not always lived in the Sacred Kingdom. Long ago, there was a time in which he didn’t know what it was - when the only places he ever heard mention of it were in old stories that no one could confirm were true. In his time of youth, he had very little to worry about. His days in the Forgotten Kingdom were the most carefree he would ever see. He was totally different then. Still, he hadn’t been content. Lune sighed. If only he had known…

    He had been too naďve to understand, Lune thought. He had longed for adventure and glory. Well, he had adventure now, he thought bitterly, but where was the glory?

    Lune choked. Part of him wished he had never left the Forgotten Kingdom. The other part reminded him of the reason he had come in search of the Sacred Kingdom, the only reason worth all this pain: Shockwave. Shockwave had left to explore the world before him, finding excitement in every corner. Eventually, Shockwave made his way to the Sacred Kingdom…

    Getting to his feet, Lune shook the grass from his fur. “Shockwave!” he cried, “How could I have forgotten?” Lune darted off into the thick brush nearby, ignoring the thorns that scarred his side. He tore through the dense entanglement of branches and leaves in a reckless hurry. Abruptly, the brush ended, and Lune found himself in a forest clearing. He stopped to catch his breath.

    A thick, brambly ring of towering undergrowth enclosed this secluded area. Above, the treetop canopies did not reveal the clearing, though during the day, golden light would come streaming through.

    “This is the spot… It hasn’t changed much in ages. It’s like this clearing never feels the burden of time upon it. Like a separate world.” Lune walked cautiously over the grass, turning his head this way and that, desperately trying to find something.

    “Haha! There it is!” Lune pounced upon a small mound of grass cleverly hidden under the shadow of a tree’s magnificent roots. Growing upon it were small white flowers with many delicate outward rays, beautiful like stars. Lune dug up the soil underneath the flowers slowly, uprooted them, then placed them in the center of the clearing with intense care. “Something as beautiful as that deserves to spread across the land, wild and free.” Lune looked upon the starry flowers, and, for a brief instant, he was showered with doubt. If he left the Sacred Kingdom for good, he probably wouldn’t see anything like them again.

    Lune shook his head. “No, there’s no time. I’d better finish this before the real Assassins come.” Lune headed back for the uncovered mound, then frantically began to throw dirt, stones, and roots upwards with his paws. Finally, he struck something hard. “Yes…”

    The cold stone glowed in the little light that was left. It gleamed silver in the rapidly approaching night, and as the sun sank lower, it began to glitter and shine stronger than before. Lune scooped it up and hastily carried it away in his mouth. He cast one last glance at the starry white flowers in the middle of the clearing, loth to let them leave his sight.

    Then his expression changed. “If they grow here, why not in the Forgotten Kingdom?” Lune scrambled to the edge of the clearing where the largest ancient tree grew. Its trunk was thick and knobbly with old age; its branches hung heavily overhead, laden with fat, ripe fruit; its strong, leathery leaves – a deep, dark green – were bigger than his face. Lune placed the Moon Stone at the tree’s roots and began to climb the short, bent trunk.

    Soon after, Lune descended, grinning with a leaf full of shining golden berries. He picked up the Moon Stone, then turned his attention to the flowers growing in the center of the clearing. Gingerly, Lune pulled one flower out from the grass, being careful to leave some damp soil between its intertwined roots. He placed it amongst the berries, then folded the leaf to conceal them. “Gold Berries and an Evening Star… What a treasure. I’ll need some Miracleberries too, though. But most importantly,” Lune added, eyeing the Moon Stone, “I need to show Shockwave that I left of my own accord.” Lune bounded back to the Sanctuary, stopping on the way to collect several small but mysterious berries. At times, they blazed red like an internal flame burned inside them; or they sparkled an icy blue, like delicate frost in a snowfall; sometimes they even gleamed a rich forest green, and their scent was as refreshing as crisp mountain air or a garden of mint.

    After what seemed like an eternity, Lune finally set foot in the Sanctuary once more. There he left the Moon Stone between long blades of grass. Shockwave would find it and understand.

    Back when Shockwave had left the Forgotten Kingdom, Lune had hardly known him, and would certainly not have considered him a friend. In fact, their first meeting had not been a pleasant one: Lune remembered that he had begun to argue with Shockwave over some silly, insignificant matter. The argument quickly escalated into an unfriendly duel, in which Lune totally despised Shockwave’s annoying ability to remain perfectly calm. The worst part, of course, was when Shockwave actually decided to zap him “lightly”. What Shockwave considered a light zap seemed to Lune like a ferocious strike from a particularly brutal lightning bolt. It was more than just a little static shock.

    After that, Lune decided that he hated Shockwave. Still, there was something about the Pikachu that drew Lune to him. When Shockwave left the Forgotten Kingdom in search of adventure, Lune followed soon after. That was when he discovered the Sacred Kingdom.

    Lune remembered how excited he had felt in the new land, especially when he learned about the frequent tournaments. He could not wait to settle down in the Sacred Kingdom, which, at the time, seemed to him a far more interesting place than the Forgotten Kingdom.

    The Moon Stone had been won from a special tournament that tested teamwork. He had been puzzled when he needed to find a partner, for he knew no one there… Or so he thought. Unexpectedly, and very much to Lune’s surprise, Shockwave had invited Lune to join the Tag Team Tournament as his partner, and together they had defeated all opposition. Lune felt that Shockwave should keep the stone, for he believed that their victory had been largely because of Shockwave alone. Shockwave had laughingly shaken his head and refused both the prize and the credit. In that short period of time, Lune’s respect for Shockwave had shot up exponentially just as his hatred for the Pikachu had dropped to none.

    As for who should get possession of the Moon Stone, they decided that neither should keep it. Since there was no practical use for the stone, they agreed that they should hold on to it as a reminder of their victory; later, when they discovered the Sanctuary, they hid it in the forest clearing, promising never to disturb it unless it was sorely needed.

    Lune breathed a sigh. He needed it now, all right. Saying one final farewell to the Sanctuary and all the good in the Sacred Kingdom, Lune padded off quietly into the night, being careful not to leave any trace of his steps behind, not knowing which he feared more: to be followed by Assassins, or by Shockwave.
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 29th October 2008 at 03:57 AM.

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    Default Re: Lune (Chapter 14 - Living Nightmares)

    Touching ending. I find it as bit uncomfortable to read 5 paragraphs of flashbacks as a part of a thought, but right now I can't think of a better way to put them and they do tell a lot. It's still hard to imagine what Lune's and Shockwave's relationship was like back then, though. Then again, maybe the narrative reflects Lune's state of mind, as he wants to quickly review the past without stopping at any point long enough to feel too much.

    Oh, and I learned a new word by reading this!

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    Default Re: Lune (Chapter 14 - Living Nightmares)

    Thanks, Gabi! Hmm... I'll need to figure out a way to fit that information in better somehow, if it reads awkwardly. Perhaps include some examples. I'll think about it. ^_^; By the way, which word did you learn?

    Whew, I'm really falling behind! Sorry about the wait, here's the next chapter:

    Chapter 15
    Pursuit

    As Shockwave ran, drawing in hasty gasps of air, his heart thudded urgently faster. A sense of alarm lingered about him; his eyes were glazed with terror.

    “He’s gone!” cried Shockwave as he burst through the palace door, crashing into the wide lobby in which the two Guardians stood. Lady Naien looked concerned, but Lord Yoruno expressed little more than a slight interest in the matter.

    Turning to Lady Naien, Shockwave uttered breathlessly, “I can’t find Lune anywhere. Something happened to him.” Shockwave had hastened to the Sanctuary, but the only traces of Lune’s footprints in the grass had faded off rather quickly as he followed the tracks, until the trail abruptly came to a halt and vanished from existence.

    “Check more carefully.” Lord Yoruno was not worried. Lady Naien, on the other hand, had begun to panic, though she tried her best to hide it. The Houndoom looked over at the calm Lord Yoruno, who did not move or blink. Eventually, Lady Naien gave up trying to simulate the Umbreon’s indifferent manner and turned to Shockwave.

    “How long has he been missing?” she asked. “Perhaps we could send out a search party.”

    Shockwave shook his head. “You won’t find him that way.” The Pikachu could not remember feeling this overwhelmed before. In the past, he had handled any problems easily with his calm logic. Now it was different. Crying out with exasperation, Shockwave raised his arms in the air. Anything within his immediate area erupted with chains of lightning; the white marble floor beneath him was charred black from the electricity. Slowly, to calm himself down, Shockwave took deep breaths. He caught Lady Naien’s surprised gaze. “I’ve searched everywhere.”

    “I don’t know what to tell you,” Lady Naien began, after she recovered from the shock, “except that we’ll be looking.”

    “There’s no guarantee that he will ever be found,” said Lord Yoruno without emotion. “For all you know, he may be lying drowned at the bottom of some lake.”

    Shockwave began to shake with visible anger.

    “Or,” Lord Yoruno continued, “perhaps he’s stranded on top of an obscure mountain, buried under many feet of snow.”

    Having heard enough, Shockwave turned his back to Lord Yoruno and Lady Naien. “I’ll find him,” he muttered through gritted teeth. “I’ll find him without your help.” With that, he left through the doors.

    ***

    Shockwave splashed his face with cool river water, disheartened. He had scoured the Sanctuary for hours, and still he found nothing. The full moon had risen up above the treetops, high among the twinkling stars. It was nearly midnight.

    But as the reflection of the moon in the rushing water broke into an array of white light, Shockwave saw something that he had not noticed before: a glint of silver in the long meadow grass.

    The Pikachu hurriedly uncovered the stone. Light from the stars shone upon its smooth, cold surface, intensifying its glorious gleam as if it were a small, silver piece of the moon itself. Shockwave picked it up.

    “The Moon Stone,” Shockwave muttered grimly. “So the matter was urgent.”

    Then, bit by bit, Shockwave began retracing Lune’s steps, hoping that he could discover the Eevee’s whereabouts. He went first to the forest clearing where the Moon Stone had been hidden for so many years. There he discovered the patch of Evening Stars and the Moon Stone’s upturned resting place. He also noticed the tree laden with Gold Berries.

    “Judging by the way those thick branches are bent slightly, the tree has recently been climbed,” he observed. “But why would Lune need Gold Berries? He would only bring them along if he planned to go on a long journey.”

    Pacing back and forth, Shockwave began to sniff the air, then dropped to the ground on all fours and carefully followed a barely noticeable trail of slightly trodden grass out of the clearing. Soon, he came to the very tree from which Lune had harvested Miracleberries.

    “Miracleberries? He was definitely setting off for a certain place. He’s always cautious; he wouldn’t want to be caught unprepared, and he wouldn’t leave in the first place without a plan.”

    Shockwave frowned. “Lune left me the Moon Stone to tell me that he had left of his own will. However, that is the only thing he left me. He could have left me more. He was even careful enough to travel so swiftly and lightly that now I can’t even sense the path he took. That can only mean one thing: he thinks he’ll be followed.”

    “But by what? Come on, think!” he told himself. “Well, Lune’s been increasingly worried recently, after that incident with Ryu. He couldn’t be afraid of the incompetent Ampharos himself; Lune has no respect for Ryu. The only thing that would be capable of tracing Lune if he had not hidden his trail from me would be… an Assassin…”

    Shockwave nodded. “It’s possible. He doesn’t know that Ryu resigned. Lune’s been thinking too much these days. It’s likely that all the worrying finally got to him. At some point, something must have happened to make him believe that Assassins would pursue him.”

    “Where is he heading for?” Shockwave whispered. He paused for a long while. “The Forgotten Kingdom… could it be?”
    Last edited by Lune the Guardian; 9th November 2008 at 03:35 PM.

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    Default Re: Lune (Chapter 15 - Pursuit)

    'Loth'.

    Funny, I was thinking about you when I refreshed and saw this chapter was up.

    It was nice to see a wider range of Shockwave's emotions. And it's surprising how quickly Lord Yoruno assumed the worst and dismissed the subject. Or was it one of those cases in which what one means and what it comes out as are not the same?

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    Default Re: Lune (Chapter 15 - Pursuit)

    Sorry, been busy studying! I've caught up now though Wow, Chapter 13 was a huge cliffhanger. What could possess Emperor Ryu to resign? Lord Yoruno and Lady Naien are stranely relaxed about it... do they have something to do with it? And why is he apologising to Lune? Does he have something to do with the Assassins? The description of the sunset at the beginning was weird though. Not in the description itself -- it was truly beautiful -- but in its placement. When something's so clearly wrong -- Lady Naien pleading, Lune gone -- Shockwave takes a moment to describe the pretty sunset. It seems to take away some of the foreboding sense. Although it did make me think "stop describing the sunset already, I want to know what happens!" so maybe it did work.

    Chapter 14: Wow, it must be really hard for Lune to leave Shockwave like that, after all they've been through. Some of Lune's speech seemed a bit stilted (I don't know anyone who would say "It’s like this clearing never feels the burden of time upon it"), but I guess if that's how everyone talks in the Sacred Kingdom... This chapter really shows Lune's personality: how he plans everything and goes through everything step by step. Good work.

    Chapter 15: Shockwave sure is observant. And Lord Yoruno is cold indeed. I expected a stupid response from Emperor Ryu, but why is Lord Yoruno so pessimistic? It sounds almost like he wants Lune to die. Is he behind the Assassins? But if he were, surely he'd be acting sad at Lune's disappearance to throw off suspicion... Lady Naien looks more innocent at this stage.

    I wonder what these Assassins do, anyway... why would Lune be their target?
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    Default Re: Lune (Chapter 15 - Pursuit)

    Thanks everyone!

    Gabi - Yes, Yoruno really does come off rather cold. I guess we'll have to wait and find out what he's really thinking, although that might not be such a simple feat!

    mistysakura - Thanks for pointing that out, I really do have a problem with the insert-random-pretty-scene-here-just-because syndrome. I took a look and rearranged the order a bit, but perhaps it would be best to remove it altogether. ^^; As for Lune's speech, yup, in some future chapters characters will even comment on the way he speaks. Yoruno... He's a clever guy in some things, in others, maybe not so...

    Let's hope that the next chapter somewhat answers some of the questions that you two have! I've written it, but I want to spend a bit more time working on it to make sure it turns out well.

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