The Lord of the Pokemasters (all Ummmmers must read!)

[Mikey]

Ok, a new fanfic I have made up. I will be writing this for quite awhile. Basically, it is a parody of The Lord of the Rings using TPM members. I have the premise done so here we go....


The forums have changed. I feel it in the water, I feel it in the Earth, I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remembers it.

THE LORD OF THE POKEMASTERS

It began with the creation of the great forums. One was given to TPM, immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings. One to BMG, great miners and craftsman of the mountain halls. And one, one forum was gifted to the race of SPP, who above all else, desire power. For within these forums was the will and power to govern all of Middle Net. But they were all of them deceived, for another forum was made. In the land of AIMdor, in the fires of Mt. Ummmm, the dark lord Hunter forged in secret a master forum- to control all others. And in to this forum he poured his annoyingness, his weirdness, and his will to dominate all members. One forum to rule them all.

One by one, the free sites of Middle Net fell to the power of the forum. But there were some who resisted...A last alliance of members of the sites marched against the armies of AIMdor, and on the slopes of Mt. Ummmm they fought for the freedom of Middle Net.

After a long fight, victory seemed near, but the power of the forum could not be undone. The great lord Hunter entered the fray, and using all his evil, he dominated the fight. King PMK tried to stop him, but was thrown aside by the power Hunter gained with the forum. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Otto (Gligar_man), son of the king, took up his father's computer, and hacked the forum of Hunter. Hunter, the enemy of the free people of Middle Net...was defeated.

The ring passed to Otto, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted, and the forum of Hunter has a will of its own. It betrayed Otto to his death, and some things that should not have been forgotten were lost at the bottom of a lake. History became legend, legend became myth, and for 2 and a half thousand years, the forum passed out of all knowledge.

Until; when chance came, it ensnared a new barer. The forum came to the creature Bjarni who took it deep inside the tunnels of the Mist Mountains, and there...it consumed him. "It came to me, my own, autism, my precious, only for meeee...." The forum brought to Bjarni unnatural long life (not to mention autism), for 500 years it poisoned his mind, and in the gloom of Bjarni's cave it waited.

Darkness crept back into the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear, and the forum of Hunter perceived. Its time has now come. It abandoned Bjarni...but something happened the forum did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable...a hobbit...Chris (Cheesy) Baggins of the shire. For the time will soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all...


Part 1 should be done by tomorrow. To see which character is which, you'll have to wait and see!

[Craig]

this rules. I want to see more of this, keep up the good work.. I liked how Bjarni was gollum ! :> "and not to mention autism!"

[Cheesey]

xDDD I'm Bilbo Baggins! Whee I got a major part xD This looks really cool, I'm staying tuned. I love the way you started it off =P

[RJdude]

This is pretty good, the part with Bjarni is funny, only I actually liked Gollum... oh well. I hope I'm in this maybe as Legolas or something.

[Mikey]

Ok, part 1 is finished. Be warned as this is a PG-13 fic!

The Fellowship of the Pokemasters

It was a fairly quiet day in the Shire as Mikey Baggins sat by a tree reading a book. Well, it was as quiet as the Shire could be when the whole town was in an uproar over Cheesy Baggins's eleventy first birthday. As Mikey sat there, he suddenly heard someone coming up the road .It was the distant sound of humming, and Mikey instantly recognized who it belonged too. In a flash he was rushing through the trees where the road met the forest.

There, an old man with a large white beard and a grey cap and gown was humming to himself as he continued towards Hobbiton on his horse and buggy. "You're late." Mikey smiled. The old man turned his head and began to speak.

"An anime moderator is never late nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means too." Mikey began to smile and the man soon joined in. "It's wonderful to see you again Hanadolf Tattsu!" He yelled leaping into the buggy. Little did he know that the buggy was top heavy, and the whole thing toppled over spilling Hanadolf's fireworks everywhere.

"Damn you Mikey Baggins!" Hanadolf yelled. After bringing the buggy back upright, the two leapt in and continued on into Hobbiton. As the cart pulled down the quiet road past the many working hobbits, Mikey began to question Hanadolf. "What news of the outside world, tell me everything?" He asked.

Hanadolf laughed a bit. "You don't really want to hear all that **** do you my boy?" He asked. Mikey looked confused. "Everything is the same since the last time I came three days ago you fool!" Hanadolf roared as the buggy went over a bridge. The two entered a large part of town where many hobbits were going about their business.

They soon passed by an open area where many people were setting up things for Cheesy's party. "Oh, a long expected party?" Hanadolf remarked. Mikey shook his head. "Actually they just scrounged around for some **** and started today. We didn't even remember it was his birthday." Mike laughed.

Hanadolf shrugged and turned to Mikey. "Well how is the old rascal anyways? I hear this is going to be a party of special magnificence." Mikey laughed. "You know Cheesy, he has the whole town in an uproar." He remarked. "I personally think he's up to something."

Hanadolf stared blatantly at Mikey. "Why do you think that?" He asked. Mike grinned. "Well, for one we only know a few hobbits around here, and he invited ones we have never met nor seen." He replied. "Oh really?" Hanadolf grinned.

"You know before you came along we Bagginses were very well thought off. Never did anything unnatural or have any adventures." Mikey added in. "Now we have completely no friends." Hanadolf began to laugh. "If you're referring to the incident where I fried the town with my pet dragon and blamed it on Cheesy, well then yeah…my bad." He replied.

Some young hobbits noticed the buggy pulling up the road and immediately began to follow it screaming his name. Hanadolf tried to ignore them, but soon turned around. "What the **** are you kids waiting for? Can't an old man get through Hobbiton without being pestered by little brats like you?" He roared. The hobbits stopped and sobbingly pointed to the fireworks. "Oh you want fireworks do you?" Hanadolf yelled and lit one. The firework launched straight at the small hobbits, which leapt to the sides to avoid it. Hanadolf began to laugh and continued on. Mikey looked back dumbfounded.

Mikey then leapt off the buggy. "I'm glad your back." He said grinning. "So am I!" Hanadolf said and continued on rolling his eyes. Soon he came to the small hole on the edge of a hill that everyone knew as Cheesy's. He got out and knocked on the door with his staff. "No thank you! I didn't order any prostitutes!" He heard Cheesy scream from inside. "And what about very old friends?" Hanadolf asked.

The door instantly opened. "Hanadolf!" Cheesy grinned and the two hugged. Cheesy instantly let Hanadolf in. "I'll get us some jell-o shots. They're all the rage with the teens today." Cheesy grinned and walked off. Hanadolf began to look around Cheesy's house. He quickly stuffed a few things in his robe before Cheesy returned. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

"I'm not at home!" Cheesy yelled. When the yelling died down, he walked towards the table and took a jell-o shot. "I need to get out of here; no one gives me a moment's piece!" He yelled. "So you mean to go through with your plan then?" Hanadolf asked. "Yes yes, I am." Cheesy replied. A candle holder fell out of Hanadolf's robe and he quickly shoved it back inside.

"Mikey suspects something." Hanadolf then said. "Of course he does, he's a Baggins." Cheesy said. "Are you calling us stupid? Cause if you are…" Cheesy roared holding up a fist. "No no, but you will tell him won't you?" Hanadolf changed the subject. "Yes yes, he'd probably come with me if I asked him too." Cheesy replied.

Hanadolf began to laugh. "Like he'd leave the shire!" He grinned. Cheesy gave him a look. "I'm old Hanadolf, but I don't look it. But I am beginning to feel it…you know…down there." Hanadolf laughed. "Get Viagra then." Cheesy sighed. "I'm talking about my legs you fool! I can't walk fast or far like I used to!" He yelled. "Oh!" Hanadolf replied. "I need a vacation, and I will not come back from it!" Cheesy then yelled.

The night had come, and the party was soon to begin. Up on the hill, Hanadolf and Cheesy watched below holding pipes. "This is the finest pot in the entire shire!" Cheesy said laughing. "Sure is!" Hanadolf replied. "Look, hehe, look what I can do!" Cheesy said and blew a ring with the weed smoke. Hanadolf giggled. "I can do it to, watch me, watch me!" He blew smoke making the image of a very disturbing object that sailed through the ring. The two were obviously high. "Hanadolf, I love you! My friend, this will be a night too…." Cheesy began but soon passed out as Hanadolf inspected his hand giggling.

The firework show began and everyone was dancing. "It's a fiesta!" Someone yelled. Mikey saw his friend Chikowise sitting alone at the table watching a girl dance. He sat down next to him. "Go ask her for a dance Chiko!" He grinned. Before Chiko could interject, Mikey tossed him at her. Chiko tried to dance, but the girl began to scream. "Help, rape!" She yelled. Several hobbits began to beat Chiko to the floor with their purses as Mikey nervously walked away.

Hanadolf lit off another firework as Cheesy told the story of the time he got high with some trolls to some very young hobbits. When Hanadolf was preoccupied, two hobbits- Jaygrin Took (Jay) and Zakiadoc Brandybuck (Zak), stole a very large firework. Inside a tent, they decided to pull a jackass and launched the firework from Jay's rear. The firework turned into a giant seagull in the sky and came down on the party crapping everywhere.

Soon, Hanadolf found the two and gave them dish washing duty. Now was time for Cheesy's speech. He happily walked up on the stage and began. "My dear hobbits, today is my 111th birthday!" Everyone cheered. He talked for a very long time, till he began to fiddle with the small computer chip in his hand. It held the forum of Hunter…"I regret to inform you that this is the end, I am going now." He said and placed the forum into his laptop. He began to giggle and rushed off down the road as if he thought he was invisible. Everyone stared as he ran.

"What the hell?" Someone yelled. "He's gone insane!" Someone else said. Cheesy made it to his house and opened the door. Inside, he took the forum out and laughed to himself. "Stupid hobbits. They probably thing I vanished into thin air!" He laughed. Suddenly, Hanadolf was in front of him. "I suppose you found that clever." He asked.

"It was just a bit of fun!" Cheesy replied. "You will keep an eye on Mikey won't you?" He then changed the subject. "What do I look like to you, a nanny?" Hanadolf asked. Cheesy shrugged. "I'm leaving everything to him." He then said. "What about this forum of yours?" Hanadolf asked. "Yes, that stays too, its over there on the mantel piece…no wait, it's here in my pants." Cheesy replied digging through his pants.

He began to stare at the forum, and then had second thoughts of leaving it. "It's mine, I found it, and it came to me! My precious! Understand autism!" He yelled. "I think you should leave it here. You're starting to sound like someone who was banned from the forum." Hanadolf spoke. "You just want it for yourself!" Cheesy replied. "Yes, I do, but that isn't the point." Hanadolf grinned. Cheesy then seemed to get it. "It stays with Mikey…" He smiled.

With that, he grabbed a walking stick and headed for the door. "Cheesy, you still have it." Hanadolf remarked. Cheesy flicked his fingers and chucked the ring to the floor. "I came up to an ending to my book. One day, I will go back to Hobbiton and murder Hanadolf and then I will live happily ever after!" He grinned. "I'm sure you will!" Hanadolf replied smiling. With a hug, Cheesy set off.

With Cheesy gone, Hanadolf could now take the forum for himself. As he went to grab it, a great red eye appeared in his thoughts and he decided it was a bad idea. He began to sit down by the fireplace and ponder about this forum. Soon, Mikey returned. "He actually left didn't he?" He asked. Hanadolf nodded. "This means you get everything here, besides what I stole." He said and handed Mikey an envelope holding the forum. "Tell everyone about it, keep it out in the open!" He grinned. With that, Hanadolf walked out. "What the hell?" Mikey stood confused.

Meanwhile, in the land of AIMdor, the enemy had captured Bjarni. Amongst the endless babbles they managed three words. "Shire, Baggins! Autism!!!!" He yelled. From the gates of AIMdor, the dreaded Rachwraiths exited on black horses. They were now sent to find the forum!

Hanadolf made it to the local library, where he quickly read some books on the war of the Forums myth. With that, he learned that this may just be the One Forum. The documents stated that fire is the secret to seeing the writing on the forum. The Rachwraiths had now made it to the shire….

Mikey and Chiko had just left a party and were heading home. Mikey arrived at bag end to find it had been broken into. He walked inside and was confronted with the culprit…Hanadolf! AHHHH! "Is it not a secret, is it unsafe?" He asked. Mikey shook his head. "I didn't have time to tell anyone in the 10 minutes you were gone." He replied. Hanadolf snatched the forum from him and tossed it into the fire. "Hey that's mine you butt!" Mikey yelled.

Hanadolf pulled the forum from the fire. "Hold out your hand Mikey. It's quite cool." Mikey did as told and was severely burnt by the scalding forum. "What the hell was that for?" He screamed. "Oops!" Hanadolf replied. "Well, what do you see?" He then asked. "There are markings…it's some form of Jeevanish. I can't read it." Hanadolf sighed. "There are few who can, the language is that of AIMdor, which I will not utter here. In the common tongue it means this- One ring to rule them all…One ring to find them…one ring to bring them and in their darkness BIND THEM!" Mike cocked his head."Um, what the hell does a ring have anything to do with this?" Hanadolf shrugged.

"This is the One Forum forged by the dark Lord Hunter." Hanadolf said staring at the disk. "Cheesy found it in Bjarni's cave…" Mikey said handing Hanadolf a jell-o shot. "Yes, for 60 years the forum lay quiet, but no longer Mikey. Evil is stirring in AIMdor. The forum has awoken, now all Hunter needs is this one forum to cover all the lands in a second darkness. "But wasn't Hunter destroyed?" Mikey asked. "Look, this doesn't make a lot of sense but go along with it!" Hanadolf replied. "If Hunter gets the forum, we are all doomed, k thx!" He added in. "Hunter has returned…his robot ninja pirate monkeys have multiplied and all is rebuilt in the land of AIMdor. He seeking the forum, all his thought is bent on it. And the forum wishes to return to its master."

"Then we'll hide it, put it away somewhere…no one knows it's here right?" Mikey asked. Hanadolf shook his head. "I searched everywhere for the creature Bjarni, but the enemy found him first. Out of all the screams and babbles they managed the words shire and Baggins." Mikey was now scared. "But that would lead them here!" He yelled. Outside ,the Rachwraiths had made it to Hobbiton. With a quick light saber slash to the head, the guard went down…


"What must I do?" Mikey finally asked. "You must leave the shire!" Hanadolf replied. In a matter of minutes, Mikey was packed up and ready to go. "You'll have to leave the name of Baggins behind you…go as Meoff…Jack. Stick off the road." Hanadolf informed him. "I can cut across country easily enough." Mikey replied. "My dear Mikey, you could learn everything there is to know about hobbits but they can still surprise you." He grinned. "Wow, you complimented me." Mikey smiled. "Tell anyone and I'll turn you into a toad!" Hanadolf replied.


"I must see the head of my order- Suziemon the White- she is both wise and powerful. She'll know what to do." Hanadolf then said. Suddenly, there was a rustling in the bushes Hanadolf smacked the bushes and hit someone on the head. With a quick thrust, Chiko was thrown inside. "Chikowise Gamgee have you been eavesdropping?" Hanadolf yelled. "No sir! But I did hear about everything you said!" He smiled. "Please don’t kill me!" Hanadolf grinned. "No, I have a better use for you…."


End of part 1!

[CharizardILG27]

LOL i love it! Ha ha this ia great fan fic. I really like the Bjarni/Gollum part. Ha ha i love this keep it up!

[RJdude]

Damn, that was hilarious, especiallly thing stuff with bjarni. That was really great, this whole thing is going to be. Keep it up!

I'm going to keep track of everything

The rings - forums
Sauron - Hunter
Isildur - Gligar Man
Isildur's father, the king (Forgot his name) - Kevin
Gollum - Bjarni
Bilbo - Cheesy
Frodo - Mikey
Sam - Chiko
Pippen - Jay
Merry - Zak
Gandalf - Hanada
Saruman - Suzie

Like I said, this is going to be great.

[Discothéque]

Bjarni Gollum = yaye!

Awww, Chris and Jay are hobbits. xDD *hugs them*

This is a great fic of sorts. Very hilarious, and it hasn't even gotten that far into it. xD *will make sure to read the rest of it* *has to bookmark since I have bad memory* O_o;

[Jay]

Fantastic Mikey, I love the characters xD Though I don't quite relate to the Lord of the Rings, I think this is great so far. lol =D Thanks for including me too :O Keep it up buddy.

[Lady Vulpix]

Yes, nice work! It's funny, and it somehow makes sense in a twisted way.

[Mikey]

Here be part 2. Not the best, but it's still decently funny. It leads up to where they get to Ghettodale! Remember, PG-13 fic!

Part 2

"Keep up Chikowise!" Hanadolf yelled as the group headed towards the forest and away from the Shire. Chiko lagged behind carrying every single supply Mikey and him would need for their trip. All Mikey had was the forum disc clearly visible in his breast pocket. "Be careful you two…the enemy has many spies in his services…phone solicitors, prostitutes. Is it unsafe?" Hanadolf then asked Mikey. "Yes, it's where everyone can see it." Mikey replied. "Never put it on Mikey, for the Agent Smiths of the dark lord will be drawn to its power. Always remember Mikey, the forum is trying to get back to its master…it wants to be found."

With that, Hanadolf sped off on a donkey leaving Mikey and Chiko alone. The two looked back towards Hobbiton one last time, and then set off through the forest. After hours of traveling, they camped for the night, and then headed out again. It wasn't long after the sun rose that they made it to a very large Cuban Marijuana Plantation. A large scarecrow dressed in gang clothing guarded the field.

Chiko stopped just before the scarecrow. "This is it…" He muttered. "This is what?" Mikey asked. "If I take one more step, this will be the farthest away from home I have ever been." Chiko replied. Mikey began to laugh. "No it wouldn't. We come here all the time to steel weed and get high remember? Oh wait, you probably were too stoned to remember." He said. Chiko shrugged and walked forward.

"Remember what Cheesy used to say?" Mikey asked Chiko. "It’s a dangerous business going out your door…and if you don't bring some weed…there's no telling where you could be swept off too." With that, Mikey began to pick some pot from the growing plants. Somewhere in the hills, a Rachwraith looked out over the Marijuana plantation…

Meanwhile, Hanadolf quickly road through Middle Net on his trusty donkey Jackass. Soon he arrived at his destination- Suziemon's Imaginary House. "Smoke rises from the mountain of ummmm, the hour grows late and Hanadolf the anime mod rides to my Imaginary House seeking my council…that is why you have come is it not?" Suziemon said stepping out of her big house. "Suziemon what the hell are you talking about? I have come for help on my history homework!" Hanadolf roared. "What’s the largest political party of Taiwan, and why did the world powers of Europe fall during World War II?" There was a long silence between them when Suziemon finally put her hand on his shoulder. "KITTY HAT YUO!" She whispered in Hanadolf's ear.

The two began to take a stroll through Suziemon's Imaginary Garden complete with her own Marijuana patch and a lake of beer. "You are sure of this?" Suziemon asked. "Yes, and it's been in the Shire this whole time…under my very robe." Hanadolf replied. "So the Forum of Hunter has been found? But you did not see it…your love of the Halflings…"

"Don't get into that!" Hanadolf interrupted. "We still have time to counter Hunter if we act quickly." Suziemon began to laugh. "Time, what time do you think we have?" She asked. The two then walked inside the Imaginary House and into Suziemon's quarters. "Hunter has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form nor will he ever be able to please a woman, but he still has his annoyingness." Suziemon said. "Concealed within his Insane Asylum he sees all. His gaze pierces everything, even clothing!"

Hanadolf felt uncomfortable for some time after that. "You know of what I speak of…a great eye…lidless, breathed in flame." Suziemon remarked. "The Eye of Hunter…." Hanadolf whispered. "He is gathering all evil to him…soon he will have an army big enough to assault all of Middle Net." Suziemon then added in. "You know this?" Hanadolf asked. "I have seen it…" Suziemon grinned.

Suziemon lead Hanadolf to a very dark room. In the center were a crystal ball and none other then Miss Cleo. "They are not all accounted for…the lost Seeing Cleos, we don't know who else may be watching." Hanadolf said pulling a sheet over Miss Cleo. "The hour is later then you think." Suziemon said sitting down in her chair. Next to her was a mean looking purple tiger with wings. "The 9 have left Minun Mortis. They crossed the river Viagren on mid summer's eave. They will find the one…and kill the one who caries it." Hanadolf turned to leave. "Mikey!" He yelled heading for the door, but it slammed in his face. He tried another door, but it too closed. After about an hour and a half and 600 doors later, Suziemon stood up.

"You don't honestly thing a hobbit could contend with the will of Hunter? There are none who can." She roared. "Against the power of AIMdor, there can be no victory. We must join with him Hanadolf, we must join with Hunter." Hanadolf looked angry. "Tell me friend, when did Suziemon the Admin abandon reason for madness?" With that, Suziemon roared. "KITTY HAT YUO!" She yelled and held out her staff.

Instantly, the purple tiger next to the chair leapt at Hanadolf. It pounced on him and began to maul. Hanadolf was now severely hurt, and his arms and legs were hanging by threads of cartilage. He was a basket case now. Suziemon had Kitty stand down and picked Hanadolf up by his grey hair. "I gave you the chance of aiding me willingly…but you have elected the way of BAN!" Suziemon roared and chucked Hanadolf into the ceiling with only her hands. Hanadolf went black…

Mikey and Chiko continued through the Cuban Marijuana forest. Suddenly, Chiko was lost. "Mr. Mikey? MIKEY?" He yelled. Mikey soon appeared in front of him. "Dude, I was here all along, you're just high." He commented. "I thought I'd lost you." Chiko then said. "What did he say?" Mikey asked. "He said leave him there Chikowise Gamgee when the going gets rough…and I mean too Mikey…I mean too." Chiko replied. Mikey laughed. "But you don't know the way home!" He replied. "Oh…then I don't mean too." He said laughing.

Suddenly, Jay and Zak crashed through the weed plants and straight onto Chiko. Chiko fell over screaming like a little girl. "Mikey, Look Zak! It's Mikey Baggins!" Jay yelled. "What's the meaning of this?" Chiko asked. "We ran out of weed!" Zak replied. "You've been into farmer ******'s crops again haven't you?" Chiko asked holding the weed they stole. Suddenly, the group could clearly see a giant rainbow pitchfork over the weed leaves. "Like, uh get back here you silly gooses!" Someone yelled. "Run!" Jay screamed and the group took off through the plantation.

The group made it to the edge of the plantation and tumbled over a small hill. They landed hard on the road. "Trust a Brandybuck and a Took." Chiko said dusting himself off. "It was a shortcut!" Zak replied. "Shortcut to what?" Chiko asked. "Shrooms!" Jay said pointing forward. The drug lay perfectly still as Jay rushed to grab them.

"I think we should duck and cover!" Mikey yelled starring down the road. After a large woman screamed, he knew they were right. "Duck and cover!" He yelled again. The group sat down on the road and put their arms over their heads. The Rachwraiths appeared and Mikey and the others were in plain sight, but the Rachwraiths just passed by. "See, duck and cover works every time!" Mikey grinned. "What was that woman in black looking for?" Zak asked. Mike looked into his pocket and saw the forum…

Night had come, and the group was nearing ****leberry Ferry. Suddenly, they were spotted by a Rachwraith! After some running, everyone but Mikey had made it on the small ferry. Mikey ran across the bridge and leapt for the ferry, but missed and fell into the lake. "Eww, I don't want to get wet!" The Rachwraith screamed and headed back into the forest. Mikey's friends pulled him into the ferry.


The group had finally made it to Pee. They knocked on the door and were greeted by an ugly man. "What do you want?" He asked. "We're heading for the Pissing Pony." Mikey said nervously. "Hobbits, what brings you to Pee?" The man asked. "We wish to stay at the inn, and stop being such a nosey bastard." Mikey replied. The man shrugged. "Sorry, my job to ask questions after nightfall. There's been talk of strange brawds around. After a bit of walking through the town, the group made it to the Pissing Pony. They headed inside and up to the desk. "Excuse me!" Mikey said to the pub owner. "Oh hello little masters, if you're seeking accommodations we have nice little hobbit size rooms available Mr.…" "Meoff…Jack Meoff. We're friends of Hanadolf the grey." Mikey interrupted. "Haven't seen him for 20 years." The pub owner replied. "But I just saw him a few weeks ago." Mikey replied. The man shrugged.

The four decided to spend the night at the inn anyways. Mikey walked through the pub too see many drunken people. In the corner was a woman with white hair and a big purple tiger drunk as could be. Zak brought a weird thing on his head to the table. "What's that?" Jay asked. "This is my friend…is a beer bong!" He grinned. "I'm getting one!" Jay yelled and ran off.

"That fellow has been doing nothing but staring at you since we arrived." Chiko told Mike. Mike looked in the corner to see a very dark man smoking a bong and wearing very sluty clothing. "Excuse me, who's that man in the corner?" Mike asked the bartender. "He's one of them Power Rangers. Dangerous they are riding around in the wild. I don't know his real name, but around here…he's known as Stripper.(Virtual Play)" The bartender said and left.

For some reason, Mikey then had the urge to place the forum in his laptop. He was enticed by it, and began to fiddle with the disc. Someone with a very feminine voice (soon to be known as Hunter's) was calling to him. He was then interrupted by Jay. "Sure I know a Baggins…Mikey Baggins. He's over there. You know he's my brother's uncle's nephew's son's daughter's friend's cat's babysitter's friend you know."

Mikey was instantly up. He ran to Jay and smacked him in the head. In the process the forum flipped out of his pocket and into the laptop. Everyone stared in disbelief as nothing happened. Mikey looked around thinking he was invisible. Suddenly, the Rachwraiths knew where he was. Back at the bar, Mikey now saw a very large red eye in front of him. "You cannot hide! Pikaboo!" Hunter grinned. Mikey screamed and pulled the forum out of the slot.

No sooner then he did, he was picked up by a hand. "You draw far too much of my business away Mr. Meoff. It's not easy competing with other strippers you know!" It was Stripper. Stripper shoved Mikey into his room. "What is it you want? Because if it's my virginity that belongs to Chiko….I mean Amanda!" Mikey roared. "I don't want your virginity! Unless you pay me, all I want is a little more caution from you…that is no trinket you carry." Stripper replied.

"I carry a forum!" Mikey replied. "Indeed." Stripper replied. "I can avoid being seen if I wish, but why would I want to with this hot body?" Stripper then said. "Tell me, are you turned on?" Stripper then asked. "Somewhat…" Mikey replied. "Not nearly turned on enough, I know what hunts you." Stripper remarked. Suddenly, Mikey's friends rushed into the room baring light sabers. "Get away!" Chiko roared. "The force is strong in you Hobbit, but that will not save you." Stripper replied.

At the entrance, the ugly man heard a knocking at the door. "Oh a knock knock joke! I love these!" He said rushing out. "Who's there?" He asked. "Open the door." A voice said. "Open the door who?" The man then asked. "Oh **** it!" The voice roared and crashed through squishing the man.

The Rachwraiths entered the sleeping quarters where the hobbits beds were. They began to stab at the beds but soon realized no one was there. With several screams they left. "Hehe, hiding under the beds is fun!" Zak grinned coming out from under. "I got stabbed." Jay replied. "Well duh, you were supposed to hide in the closet." Mikey replied opening it up. "Hehe, you came out of the closet!" Zak grinned. Mikey rolled his eyes. "Tis just a flesh wound." Jay said wiping the blood off.

"What are they?" Mikey asked Stripper. "They were once Rachel." He replied. "But one by one they fell to the power of Hunter. Now they are slaves to his will…neither living nor dead. They will never stop hunting you." The next day the group set off again. "Where are you taking us?" Mikey asked as they trekked a hill. "To the Power Ranger Secret Hideout…AKA Ghettodale, the house of Ozanrond (OzAndy)." Stripper replied. "I will use my Power Ranger powers to defend us!" He then said and continued on.

"The power of my Imaginary House is at your command Hunter." Suziemon said into the Miss Cleo. "What the **** am I doing being your ***** though?" She thought to herself. "Ahh yes, so I can kill you!" She then remembered. "Build me an army worthy of AIMdor!" Hunter called out. "I'll do whatever the **** I want to *****!" Suziemon replied. Suddenly, one of Suziemon's robot pirate ninja monkeys entered the room. "What orders from AIMdor?" The robot pirate ninja monkey asked. "We have work to do…" Suziemon replied.

Outside, Suziemon was now having her robot pirate ninja monkeys cut all the telephone poles in the area down. "The telephone polls are strong, their wires go deep!" The nearest robot pirate ninja monkey said. "Rip them all down!" Suziemon replied. Up above, Hanadolf Tattsu woke on the top of a tower. Remarkably, he was healed from the Kitty mauling. He leaned against the tower and began to cry like a little girl.

"This was the great strip club of Amon Sual. We shall rest here tonight!" Stripper said pointing to a beaten down old building with a neon sign reading "Hot girls inside" hung in the middle of nowhere. The group made camp on the old stripper show platform. "Look what I can do!" Zak said dancing on the pole. "Stop that, no one does it better then me!" Stripper yelled.

Night soon came and Mikey awoke to Zak once again dancing on the pole. "What are you doing? You fool, you'll draw attention to yourself!" Mikey yelled. Stripper was nowhere in sight, but they all suddenly heard the screams of the Rachwraiths. "They were drawn by your moves!" Jay yelled and the group headed to the roof of the building. They were surrounded, and in a small amount of time, the Rachwraiths made it to the roof.

They pulled their light sabers out and began to step toward the hobbits. The hobbits too drew their light sabers. Zak and Jay took no time rushing in, but were easily hit aside. Chiko was too easily taken out and Mikey was shoved to the ground. He then found himself taking out the forum. Without any control he slipped it on.

Mikey thought he was safe now as the forum made him invisible. He began to make faces at the Rachwraiths as they starred confusedly at him. "You can't get me! I'm invisible!" Mikey giggled. The nearest wraith shrugged and stuck the light saber into Mikey's shoulder. Suddenly, Stripper was in front of him. Stripper suddenly pressed a button on his belt and transformed into the red ranger! Using his special Power Ranger moves, he managed to make the Rachwraiths run away.

Stripper then rushed to Mikey. "He's been stabbed by a Mace Windu Light saber by PlaySchool. He's soon become a Rachwraith like them!" He said. "He needs Elfish medicine." "But we're six days from Ghettodale, he'll never make it!" Chiko cried as they rushed through the forest. Meanwhile, below Suziemon's imaginary house, the robot pirate ninja monkeys were busy at work. More and more telephone polls were being harvested to make light sabers. Suziemon watched as her special Ultra robot pirate ninja monkeys were being harvested from the ground. These ones had heat seeking bazookas mounted on their shoulders. Up above, Hanadolf caught a moth and whispered into its ear. It flew off laughing that a man would stoops so low as to talk to a bug.

"He's going cold!" Chiko yelled. The group had made camp at the very spot where Cheesy and the Trolls had smoked weed together years ago. "Chiko, do you know where Cheesy hid his stash?" Stripper asked. "Yes, he hid his weed in the forest." Chiko replied. "It may help to slow the plastic!" Stripper yelled and the two went to search for it.

Stripper found it easily using his special Power Ranger powers. He was suddenly caught off guard when a sword was placed at his neck. "What's this, a Power Ranger caught off his guard?" A woman voice asked. "Samwen!" (Crystal Mew) Stripper grinned. Mikey turned to see something bright coming toward him. He couldn't tell if it was the effects of the Mace Windu Light up light saber by Playschool or the weed he smoked earlier, but it was sure bright.

"Here my voice!" She spoke in Jeevanish. "She's an elf!" Chiko grinned. "He's not going to make it. I must take him to my father. There are five Rachwraiths behind you. Where the other four are I do not know." Samwen said. "Let me go!" Stripper yelled. "I do not fear them. I am faster!" Samwen replied. After a bit of arguing, Samwen mounted her donkey with Mikey and sped off. "What is she doing? Those Rachwraiths are still out there!" Chiko yelled.

Samwen raced long and hard XD on her mule as she made for the river of Ghettodale. Soon she was being chased by Rachwraiths. Using her special Mario cloud she won from saving the princess I the first castle of Mario bros 3, she managed to soar to the river unharmed. The Rachwraiths soon caught up and planned to cross the river. As they did, she began to chant, but nothing happened .The Rachwraiths began to beat her down. Finally, the river came and washed them away, but she was hurt in the process.

Holding her bruises, Samwen prepared to mount her mule again. Suddenly, Mikey began to convulse. "No Mikey, hold on!" She yelled. "What strength we woman have for childbirth…let it pass to him. Let him be spared!" She yelled….

[Craig]

With each part the story gets a higher and higher rating :> I think its 14A now

Keep it up. I like it..the village of Pee

XD

[RJdude]

Damn, this story gets funny and funnier with each chapter. Loved all the stuff about Oz being a power ranger, and everything with Hanada and Suzie. Just great.

[Wolfsong]

XD This is funny. I'll be sure to stay tuned. ^^;;

[Lady Vulpix]

"KITTY HAT YUO!" Lol!
And Sam is Arwen! Nice! I wonder if I'm going to appear. Whether I do or not, this is getting interesting.

[Knight of Time]

I never thought I would be posting in Fanfiction for the first time, but I gotta say, this fic is AWESOME, Mikey!



I'd be surprised if I make an appearance here too in this interesting LOTR twist...

[Dragon_Claw]

This is funny. Bjarni with his autism and Hanada was his history thingy. I wonder IF I appear, what my funny twitch it.

Edit: it = is

[Chikoo]

~_~ Sorry for the last post, Mikey. ^_^' That story was great! I get to be Sam. *dances* The plot is food. I hope Bjarni kidnaps me and makes me his sex slave.

[soggy_cardboard]

hahahaha, this is sooooo funny!

He began to giggle and rushed off down the road as if he thought he was invisible. Everyone stared as he ran.

i liked that bit the best !

[DannyBoy]

WOW this is messed up but in a really good way! LOL! I think this is really funny. You got some great people already like Bjarni is funny as Gollum. To bad you can't make this into a move! I bet it would make big bucks. Sorry for not replying sooner, I have been really busy with finishing up things. I hope you dont stop your other fic, that good 2! Keep it up!

[Mikey]

Thanks to all that replied! I'm trying to make this as funny as possible.

Just a reminder, part 3 SHOULD be done by tomorrow pending I don't have much homework or don't feel like zooming away with my friends for a joy ride for a few hours.

Part 3 is decently funny, but Suziemon is only mentioned and in it for 2 parts. It spans from Ghettodale, to the fall of Hanadolf in the Mines of BMGia on the bridge of Kazaa's Doom. Tomorrow it will be revealed to you who many of the characters are including:

Legolas
Boromir
Gimli
Balrog
Cave Troll

That's pretty much it, but some of them are major characters. Have fun waiting till tomorrow!

[Mikey]

Ok, here be the deal people of the fic. Part 3 is extremly long, and for that part I am not entirely finished. But to avoid long hours of reading and to save your eyes, I have devided Part 3 into two parts- Part 3A and part 3B. Here is part 3A, which ends just after the council of Ozanrond. Enjoy...


Part 3A

Mikey awoke days later in an old beat up mattress on the floor. The first thing he noticed when he awoke was a cockroach scurrying across the floor. He then noticed Hanadolf Tattsu beside him. "You are in the house of Ozanrond. It is 10:00 in the morning on October the 22nd if you want to know." Hanadolf whispered. "Hanadolf you're alive?" Mikey asked. "Yes and why the hell would you think otherwise? Shows how much you care!" Hanadolf roared.

"Anyways, you're lucky to be alive too. A few more years and you would've been a wraith, but you had some strength in you." Mikey cocked his head. "A few years? I think I could've made it to Ghettodale blindfolded and still made it." He said. Hanadolf raised an eyebrow. "No, you were very close to death! Stop questioning me you smartass!" He roared. "What happened to you Hanadolf? Why didn't you meet us?" Mikey asked. "I'm sorry, I was delayed." Hanadolf replied.

Hanadolf then had a flashback of himself crying like a little girl on top of Suziemon's Imaginary House's roof. He then remembered her savagely beating him around on top of the roof, to the point where his left eye could no longer see there was so much puffiness. "It is over…embrace the power of the forum!" Suziemon roared. "There is only one Lord of the Pokemasters!" Hanadolf yelled. He saw the sparrow fly behind the tower and knew it would fly him to safety. He quickly leapt off the tower smashing the poor little bird in the process.

"Fly Lord of the Sparrows!" He yelled, but the bird was long dead. Hanadolf began to scream as he plummeted to the earth. "And that is how I got back here." He said returning to the present. "But Suziemon's roof must be 100 feet high. How did you survive?" Mikey asked. Hanadolf grinned. "My dear hobbit, it's all about physics." He said. Mikey shrugged.

"Mikey…bless you you're awake!" Chiko said rushing into the room. "Chiko hardly left your side." Hanadolf informed Mikey. "What are you talking about? Oh, you liked that cardboard cut out I left here?" Chiko replied pointing to a large cardboard cut out of himself hanging over Mikey's mattress. "By the skills of Lord Ozanrond, you're beginning to mend." Hanadolf said changing the subject as a person entered the room.

"Welcome to Ghettodale Mikey Baggins." Ozanrond said. Mikey walked outside to see the streets were full of crime and the buildings were all beat up and old. Suddenly, Zak and Jay joined him. The four hobbits were once again reunited, and they were happy. Mikey then saw him sitting there on a bench. It was Cheesy! "You stupid ****er!" Mikey yelled punching Cheesy in the face. Cheesy fell over holding his head and sobbing. "That's for leaving the shire without telling me you bastard!" Mikey yelled helping Cheesy up.

"My dear Mikey!" Cheesy said hugging Mikey. "Get the **** off of me you sick incest loving uncle!" Mikey roared but Cheesy paid no attention. Soon, Cheesy pulled out the book he has finished and handed it to Mikey. "Hair on My Back Again…A Hobbit's Tale by Cheesy Baggins." Mikey said opening the cover. "This is wonderful!"

"Yes, I always shave my back, but it somehow always grows back, so I wrote a book on it. It also has a few things about my adventure." Cheesy said. "I miss the shire…I spent my whole childhood wishing I was off someplace else…on one of your adventures. It seems my own adventure turned out different." Mikey replied. "Of course it's different! You can't expect everything to be the same. Dude, lay off the weed! It's making you stupid!" Cheesy replied smacking Mikey on the cheek.

Soon, Mikey found Chiko packing in one of the alleyways. "Packing already?" Mikey asked. "No harm in being prepared." Chiko replied. "I thought you wanted to see the elves…more then anything. You said they were the sexiest things you ever heard of." Mikey remarked. "I did, but we did what Hanadolf wanted…we got the forum this far. And I thought, well seems like we'd be heading home soon." Chiko replied. "There are plenty of sexy hobbits there." Mikey grinned. "Your right Chiko, we did what we set out to do. The forum will be safe in Ghettodale." Suddenly, an elf leapt out of one of the windows and held another at gunpoint. The elf let him have her purse and he ran.


"His strength returns." Ozanrond said peering out the window. "The wound from the light saber made by Playschool will never fully heal…he will carry it for the rest of his life." Hanadolf replied. "And yet getting this far still holding the forum and not trading it for an episode of Buffy or Angel the hobbit has shown extraordinary resilience to its evil." Ozanrond remarked. "It is a burden he should never have had to bear." Hanadolf added in.

"Hanadolf, the enemy is dancing! The eye is fixed on Ghettodale, and Suziemon has betrayed us! Our list of moderators grows thin!" Ozanrond roared. "Suziemon has crossed monkeys with pirates with ninjas with robots, and some have heat seeking bazookas attached to their shoulders. She's breeding an army at the gates of her Imaginary House, an army that can move in sunlight at a decent speed." Hanadolf informed Ozanrond.

"This evil cannot be concealed by the power of the elves…well it probably could, but I don't feel like it." Ozanrond replied. "Hanadolf, the forum cannot stay here." Down below, a muffin mobile carrying Mikomir (The Muffin Man) rode into Ghettodale. Next was Kylegolas (Syberia) on a donkey. Finally, Nateli (Systematic Revolution) and the other dwarves walked in.

"This peril belongs to all of Middle Net…they must decide now before Buffy comes on how to end it. The time of the elves is over; my people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we are gone…SPP? They are down 90% of the time, what can they do?" Ozanrond said to Hanadolf. "It is in TPM that we must place our hope. "TPM? TPM is weak." Ozanrond replied. "The race of TPM is failing, the blood of the newbies is all but spent…dignity forgotten. It is because of TPM the forum survived. I was there Hanadolf. I was in my mother's womb three thousand years ago when she fought in that battle."

Ozanrond then had a flashback to the battle, but all he could hear were sounds from outside. "Otto took the forum…I was there the day the strength of TPM failed." Ozanrond's mother walked into the crakes of Mt. Doom. "He kicked three times. That means he wants you to cast it into the fire." She said. "No!" Otto replied. "It should have ended that day…" Ozanrond then said coming back to the present. "Evil?" Hanadolf asked. "No, that stupid sitcom West Wing. It's getting so old." Ozanrond replied. "But yeah, evil endured then too."

"Otto kept the forum; the line of admins is broken. There's no strength left in the world of TPM." Ozanrond then said. "There is one who could reunite them and reclaim the throne of TPMdor." Hanadolf then said. "He turned from that path long ago. He has chosen exile." Ozanrond then remarked.

In the old rundown museum, Mikagorn sat reading to himself. Suddenly, Mikomir entered looking around. He soon noticed the shards of the Dell Computer, the same computer used by Otto in the hacking of the forum, lying on a busted up statue next to an empty beer bottle. A homeless person lay cuddled next to it on some newspaper covered in yearn. "The shards of the Dell Computer! These are the pieces of the computer that hacked the forum." Mikomir said rushing up to them. Mikagorn lifted his head and watched him.

Mikomir lifted the pieces of the computer but was greeted by a very ugly blonde kid on the cracked monitor. "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" He grinned giving a thumbs up. "Still messed in the head." He said shivering. He then noticed Mikagorn. "But no more then a broken emblem." He then set the monitor down. "Hey, you need a Dell…no don't walk away…why do they always walk away? Don't you like me?" The Dell kid screamed, but the monitor soon flicked off. Mikomir exited the room as Mikagorn lifted the monitor back onto the beat up pedestal. The homeless man stirred and began to urinate again.

"Why do you fear the past?" Mikagorn heard a voice behind him and turned to see Samwen. "You are Otto's heir…not Otto himself." She remarked. "You are not bound to his fate." Mikagorn turned to face her. "The same pot filled blood flows through my veins. The same weakness." He muttered. Samwen approached him. "Your time will come. You will face the same evil, and you will defeat it." She grinned. She then began to speak in Jeevanish. "Speak in English woman!" Mikagorn yelled.

Out on one of the broken down wooden bridges with many homeless bums under it, Samwen and Mikagorn stood. "Do you remember how we first met?" She asked him in Jeevanish. "Yeah, you were just some new face in Ghettodale that I didn't single out for a few weeks." Mikagorn replied. Samwen looked a bit confused, and then smiled. "Many years have passed, but you did not have the same courage you carry now." Samwen then muttered. "Do you remember what I told you?"

"Ummm, let me see here…not really." Mikagorn replied. Samwen rolled her eyes and pointed to her necklace. "Oh yeah…you said VP + Cm forever. Love knows: no differences, no distance, no limits. Then you said you bound yourself to me." Mikagorn replied. "Forsaking the virgin life of your people." Samwen smiled. "And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you…then face the ages of this world alone." She said handing him her Super Duper Special Virginity Pendant Necklace Thingamabob. "I choose a non-virgin life."

"You can not give me this!" Mikagorn replied. "It is mine to give to whom I will…as is my heart." Mikagorn cocked his head. "But if you give me your heart, you would die as your blood wouldn't flow and it would be sad, not to mention how sick and twisted that would be to give me your heart as a sign of affection." He replied. Samwen put her finger to his mouth to hush them, and then they made out long and hard….for many many many many many many MANY hours.

The next day in the old beat up basketball court, the Council of Ozanrond had begun. "Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you have been someone here to answer the tiny threat that Hunter of AIMdor possesses. Middle Net is on the brink of destruction, none can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate this one doom…except the Puerto Ricans, we don't want them." Ozanrond said. Several Puerto Ricans left unhappily. They looked back sadly but Ozanrond shooed them off. (No offense to anyone Puerto Rican)

"Bring forth the forum Mikey." Ozanrond said when the Puerto Ricans had left. Mikey sat lounging on his half busted chair. After some time, Ozanrond stood up. "Bring forth the forum." He repeated again. "I just walked many miles to get the forum here, and now you want me to walk another three feet to that ****ing pedestal? If you want to show it off to the council, you come get it!" Mikey replied. Ozanrond sighed and pulled out a 20 dollar bill. "Bring forth the forum." He repeated. With that, Mikey got up and placed the forum on the pedestal. Then after taking the 20 bucks he sat down.

"So it is true." Mikomir replied staring at it. "It is a gift…a gift of the foes of AIMdor. Why not use this forum? Long has my father, the steward of TPMdor kept the forces of AIMdor at bay by the blood of my people while your lands kept safe. Give TPMdor the weapon of the enemy; let us use it against them!" He yelled. "You cannot wield it…none of us can. The forum is so vile and twisted that it will only answer to the vilest and twisted person of Middle Net…it answers to Hunter alone." Mikagorn replied.

"And what would a Power Ranger know of this matter?" Mikomir asked. "This is no mere Power Ranger…this is Mikagorn son of Psychothorn, and ere to the thrown of TPMdor. You owe him your allegiance." Kylegolas roared standing up. "Mikagorn? This is Otto's heir?" Mikomir said looking at Mikagorn. "He looks more like the heir to the throne of McDonalds!" He roared. "Sit down Kylegolas." Mikagorn said in Jeevanish. Kylegolas did as ordered, but stuck his tongue out to Mikomir in the process. "TPMdor has no king…TPMdor needs no king." Mikomir said sitting down.

"Mikagorn is right…we cannot wield it." Hanadolf spoke up. "You have only one choice…the forum must be destroyed." Ozanrond said. "Or we could just not do anything." Mikey replied. Ozanrond gave him a look. "Well what are we waiting for?" Nateli said standing up and grabbing his ax guitar. With great force he rushed to the forum and smacked it over and over with his ax guitar. After about 10 minutes, he tired himself out and fell down. "You done?" Ozanrond asked. Nateli nodded panting.

"The forum cannot be destroyed by any craft we here possess." Ozanrond then said. "What if we had Kraft mac and cheese?" Someone yelled from the council. "Then we could probably destroy it, but as of now there is no such thing." Ozanrond said. "And I'd like to get this council done before Buffy and Angel night if you don't mind. The forum was made in the fires of Mt. Ummmm, only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into AIMdor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came…one of you must do this…"

"One does not simply walk into AIMdor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more then just Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys. There is evil there that does not sleep and the great eye is ever watchful. Tis a barren wasteland riddled with fire, ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume…not with ten thousand men could you do this." Mikomir remarked. "Actually, I visited my aunt in AIMdor last week. The Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys let me pass easily. They're pretty nice." Someone yelled out. Mikomir sighed. "No, they are very mean and want to harm you." He yelled.

"Have you heard nothing Lord Ozanrond has said? The forum must be destroyed!" Kylegolas roared standing up. "And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?" Nateli replied. "And if we fail what then…what if Hunter takes back what is his?" Mikomir shouted. "I will be dead before I see the forum in the hands of an elf!" Nateli berated. The council was now at it. They began to fight in a gang war. Ozanrond pulled a knife from under his robe and joined the fray. The arguing lasted for some time.

"SHUT THE **** UP!" Mikey roared over the screaming. "If you're all so ****ing undecided on who should take it, then I'll take the ****ing thing to AIMdor. But I do not know the way!" Hanadolf turned around. "I will help you bear this burden Mikey Baggins as long as it is yours to bear." He said. Mikagorn stood up and knelt by Mikey. "By my life or death I can protect you, though I really don't want to. You have my light saber." He said.

"And you have my slingshot." Kylegolas blurted. "And my ax guitar." Nateli said stepping uneasily toward the group. "You carry the strength of us all little one…but this is indeed the will of the council…TPMdor will see it done." Mikomir responded walking toward them. "You have my fishing pole." Someone else said standing up. Ozanrond sighed. "Gosh Damnit, Carlos, besides the fact that that was late, I said no Puerto Ricans. Va pronto!" He roared. Carlos lowered his head and walked away.

"Mr. Mikey doesn't go anywhere without me!" Chiko yelled leaping from the bushes. "No it is indeed hard to separate you seeing as he was summoned to a secret council and you were not. Is there some sort of obsession I'm missing?" Ozanrond asked. "We're coming too!" Zak and Jay yelled leaping out. "Wow, hobbits must really love same sex orgies." Nateli whispered to Kylegolas. "Shut the hell up dwarf!" Mikey yelled. "So be it, you shall be the Fellowship of the Pokemasters." Ozanrond said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I missed the first 10 minutes of Buffy because of all this ****."

[RJdude]

Nice. Not as funny as the other ones, but it was still pretty funny, specially for a rather boring part in the actual LotR. I guess the fellowship has been decided... you made some pretty good choices for the characters, too. Keep it up.

[Crystal Mew]

LMAO Mikey, great fic I was actually laughing out loud...XD

Intresting..very intresting... *proud to be Samwen* X)

keep it up

[Mikey]

Just to inform everyone, part 3B will definitly be done by tomorrow. It will go all the way to when Hanadolf falls off the bride of Kazaa's Doom. From there, there will be part 4A and part 4B. 4A-When the group makes it ashore. 4B- To the end of FOTR

The fic will then go to part 5 from there which begins TTT. And for the sake of spoilers, I will have to wait for ROTK movie to come out as people won't want it spoiled. I may add stuff that they leave out from the books though when I do. Thanks again to the readers and expect part 3B tomorrow!

My fic has everything people love- mindless sex, lots of explosions, and firepower, lots of firepower, more violence, robot pirate ninja monkeys and stupid pointless comedy, and more explosions, and of course....Suziemon!

[homeofmew]

Good Job XD "Kitty Hat Yuo"
Will I be in this story !

[Mew Trainer Rose]

LOL! Bijarni.....playscool light saber.....thinks he can be invisible...."still holding the forum and not trading it for an episode of Buffy or Angel"....."This evil cannot be concealed by the power of the elves…well it probably could, but I don't feel like it."....."But if you give me your heart, you would die as your blood wouldn't flow and it would be sad, not to mention how sick and twisted that would be to give me your heart as a sign of affection."....."What if we had Kraft mac and cheese?"..."Gosh Damnit, Carlos, besides the fact that that was late, I said no Puerto Ricans. Va pronto!".....robot pirate ninja monkeys!

ROTFLMAS

really good stuff. I wish i could see Angel here in college, but I have no tv. all i have is my cassette of the songs from Buffy: The Musical.

*starts singing* They got! The mustard! OOOOOUUUUTT!
*her pokemon, acting as background singers:* They got the mustard ooooouuuutt!

^_^

[Mikey]

Ok, it took some time but here is part 3B!!!

Part 3B!!!

Later that evening, Mikey visited Cheesy in his room. They talked for some time, though Mikey was very cautious that his uncle didn't try and take advantage of him in this vulnerable state he was in at the moment. After some conversation, Cheesy walked to his closet and pulled out a small hobbit-sized purple light saber. "It's my old light saber Sting...here take it take it." Cheesy said handing Mikey the blade. Mikey took the light saber and pressed the button. A large energy beam struck out. "It's so light!" Mikey remarked. "Yes yes, made by the elves. The blade vibrates when robot pirate ninja monkeys are close." Cheesy remarked.

"And it's times like that my lad, that you will be extra aroused." Cheesy then added in. Mikey eyed his uncle nervously. "Oh, here's a pretty thing." Cheesy then said taking out a long white dress. "Lethril...as light as a feather, but as hard as a stiffy." Cheesy informed Mikey. "Dude, you need to lay off the porno." Mikey replied. "Let me see you put it on!" Cheesy remarked. "Um, yeah, I'd rather not take my clothes off in front of you, kthx bai!" Mikey replied.

"Please?" Cheesy asked. Mikey sighed and began to slip the dress thingy on. The forum suddenly shown under Mikey's shirt attached to a chain around his neck. "Oh, my old forum. I should very much like to hold it again one last time." Cheesy grinned. "Mikey began to fondle it when suddenly Cheesy's face turned into Michael Jackson's and lashed out at him. Mikey cried out and pulled away. Cheesy returned to normal and backed away frightened. "I'm sorry to disappoint you my boy, I'm sorry you must carry this burden, I'm sorry for everything!" Cheesy said beginning to cry. "Oh get the **** over it." Mikey remarked. "It's not even your fault; you're just so over ****ing emotional!"

The next day, the Fellowship set out from Ghettodale. They crossed the old beat up bridge and into the forest. After hours of traveling they had come to a small hill slope with many ruins. Hanadolf rose up over the hill and fiddled with his hat as the score from The Lord of the Rings played. Suddenly, he smashed into the camera. "Oh, son of a *****! Get the **** out of my way!" Hanadolf roared. The cameraman began to cry and rushed off. Hanadolf sighed and began to walk again as the rest of the fellowship passed. After Hanadolf came Kylegolas, followed by Nateli, then the hobbits, and finally the two men.

The fellowship decided to take a break on the runes of the hill. "We must hold this course west of the Mist Mountains for forty days. Then if our luck holds, the gap of SPPhan should still be open to us." Hanadolf said. "There our road turns east to AIMdor." Down below them, Zak and Jay were receiving light saber lessons from Mikomir. "Good, now strut your stuff around! That's it turn around and bend over!" Mikomir said as the hobbits starred confused.

"If anyone must ask for my opinion, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Hanadolf, we could pass through the mines of BMGia, my cousin Archiac would give us a royal welcome." Nateli said. Hanadolf shook his head. "No Nateli, I would not take the road through BMGia unless I had no other choice." Hanadolf replied smoking his weed pipe. Suddenly, Kylegolas spotted something in the distance.

As they watched the skies, Mikomir got a little to friendly with Jay and Zak, which pissed them off. They tackled him to the ground and began to stab him. "Ow that hurts. ****ing **** ow!" Mikomir roared. After many cuts and flesh wounds, the hobbits finally backed off. Mikomir seemed to enjoy it though. "What's that?" Mikey asked Kylegolas. "Nothing, just someone smoking a bong." Nateli said. "It's moving fast, and against the wind." Mikagorn remarked. "Flying monkeys from Dunland!" Kylegolas roared. "Hide!" Mikagorn yelled.

The group began to scatter. Chiko quickly put out the fire and joined the group. "Duck and cover!" Hanadolf roared. "It worked the last time." Mikey added in. The group all leaned down and placed their hands over their heads and keep quiet. Soon, the flying monkeys entered the area. They looked down at the hill and immediately noticed the group ducking and covering. "Are they retarded?" One of the flying monkeys asked. "Most likely." Another replied, and with that the monkeys flew off.

"Spies of Suziemon. The passage South is being watched." Hanadolf said standing back up. "We must take the pass of Everest." He then roared looking up at a very high snow covered mountain. "I like Africa!" Chiko said as they trudged up the mountain. Hanadolf sighed. Suddenly, Mikey slipped on the snow and tumbled down towards Mikagorn. As he retrieved his footing, he realized the forum was not on him anymore. A few feet ahead, Mikomir picked it up.

"Mikomir." Mikagorn whispered. "It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over something so arousing." Mikomir said staring at the forum. "Such a sexy thing." He began to caress the forum as if he wanted to do more..."Give the forum to Mikey." Mikagorn commanded. Mikomir slowly walked towards Mikey. "As you wish." He said dropping it into Mikey's hands. "I care not." He then said and rubbed Mikey's hair. Mikagorn took his hands of his light saber. "Damn, I almost had an excuse to kill the ****er!" He whispered.

Meanwhile, at Suziemon's Imaginary House, the flying monkeys had returned. They quickly flew into the opening that lead to her basement towards where she stood. "So Hanadolf, you tried to lead them over garjfglfjglfdjg;d. And if that failed, where then would you go? If the mountain defeats you, will you risk the more dangerous road?" She asked herself. "Suziemon, you're talking to yourself again." One of her robot ninja pirate monleys said. "Silence, KITTY HAT YUO!" She yelled. Immediately Kitty sprang into action and mauled the poor monkey to death. "Anyone else want to defy me?" She then asked. One Monkey put his hand up. "BURN!" She yelled and he burst into flames. "Anyone else?" Another raised its hand, then put it down slowly. "Good..." She grinned.

The Fellowship was now tracking up a very snowy slope. Kylegolas did not sink in the snow, for he had special Micheal Jordan shoes on. The group suddenly heard a loud female voice from afar. "There is a frill voice on the air." Kylegolas muttered. "It's Suziemon!" Hanadolf yelled as a chunk of ice fell from above. "She's trying to bring down the mountain! We must turn back!" Mikagorn roared. "Thanks captain obvious!" Nateli added in. "No!" Hanadolf roared and stepped up to counter Suziemon's spell.

On top of her Imaginary House, Suziemon chanted her spell while holding an empty beer bottle. Well, it was supposed to be a spell but she was so drunk that she was just making up words and uttering noises while stumbling around. She took another bottle out and chugged it, then yelled "Kaleidoscope, it's a parteee!" in her loudest voice. A lightning bolt struck the top of the mountain causing an avalanche to cover the group.

After some time, Hanadolf resurfaced. Soon everyone emerged. "Is everyone here?" Mikagorn asked. "I'm not." Someone yelled. "Who's not?" Mikagorn asked. "Me..." The person replied. "We must get off the mountain and to the gap of SPPhan, or take the worse road to the mine city!" Mikomir yelled. "The gap of SPPhan takes us too close to Suziemon's Imaginary House!" Mikagorn yelled. "If we can't go over the mountain, let us go under it! Let us take the Mines of BMGia!" Nateli yelled. Hanadolf suddenly heard Suziemon's voice. "BMGia, you fear to go into those mines...the dwarves delve to greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Kazaa's Doom...I asked for a ****ing whiskey shot not a martini! Burn you insolent fool!" She yelled chucking the martini at one of her robot pirate ninja monkeys as it burst into flames. "Let the ring bearer decide!" Hanadolf muttered. Everyone turned to Mikey. "What, I wasn't paying attention." He said shrugging. "Sigh, we can continue this path or go through the mines." Hanadolf said. After a long thing of eenie-meanie-miney-moe, Mikey went with the mines. "So be it..." Hanadolf muttered.

After some time, the group managed to stray away from Mt. Everest and soon arrived at the doorstep of BMGia. A large lake lie next to it. "The walls of BMGia!" Nateli grinned. It as now late as the group headed up to them. Mikey slipped and his foot fell into the water. He looked out frightened over the lake. Hanadolf rubbed his hands against the wall and began to mutter something to himself. The moon came out exposing the picture of a naked woman with closed legs and some Jeevanish writing. "It reads the legs of Diane...speak job and they shall open." Hanadolf said. "What do you suppose that means?" Jay asked. "Oh it's very simple, speak the password and the legs will open." Hanaodlf grinned.

Hanadolf pressed his staff on the naked woman's legs and began to yell some phrases. An hour had passed the legs would still not spread. Hanadolf was starting to give up. "The mines are no place for a pony...even one so brave as this." Mikagorn said to Chiko. "But it's so sexy!" He cried. Mikagorn sighed and released the horse. It sadly trotted away. "Will I ever see it again?" Chiko asked. "Of course." Mikagon grinned as a large bird flew down and snatched the horse up. Taking a big bite out, it then flew away.

Zak and Jay started to chuck rocks into the lake. Mikagorn then stopped them. "Do not disturb the water..." He said. Hanadolf chucked his staff and sat down. "It's hopeless. This Diane won't spread her legs for anyone!" He yelled. Mikey stepped up. "It's a riddle...speak job and enter. What's the elfish word for blowjob?" Mikey asked. "Swirlswallow!" Hanadolf grinned. Suddenly, the leg's of Diane spread wide to reveal the opening. The fellowship entered the opening between Diane's legs.

"Soon my friends you will enjoy the feeble hospitality of the dwarves! Roaring fires, malt veal, red meat off the bone!" Nateli grinned. Hanadolf blew on his staff and it lit up. "This my friends is the home of my cousin Archiac¡Kand they call it a mine...A MINE!" Nateli grinned. "This is no mine, this is a tomb!" Mimoir wailed. All around were thousands of dead bodies. Nateli began to freak out and started to cry like a baby. Kylegolas pulled a spit wad from one of the dead bodies. "Robot pirate ninja monkeys!" He whispered.

Everyone cautiously drew their weapons. "We make for the gap of SPPhan...we should have never of come here!" Mikagorn roared. The group began to leave when something slimy sudden grippied Mikey's leg and pulled him away. Everyone turned to see a giant creature surfacing from the water. "An Octo*****!" Kylegolas roared.

Chiko yelled for Mikagorn and began to cut the slimy tentacle off Mikey's foot. The Octo***** retreated, but came back with double the freshness, double the fun! The tentacles grabbed Mikey and lifted him up. Suddenly, Mikey pulled a thing of Mentos from his pocket and slipped one in his mouth. With a wink, he threw the mentos to Kylegolas who also took one. The mentos theme song began to play as Kylegolas launched a sling shot arrow into the Octo*****. The battle continued when finally the Octo*****'s mouth closed in on Mikey. With a flick of his wrist, a mentos entered the monter's mouth. Mikey winked. "Mentos, the fresh maker!" The announcer said as the Octo***** released Mikey.

As the group started to run back into the mines, the Octo***** slammed itself into the wall causing them to become trapped. "We now have but one choice; we must face the long dark of BMGia. Be on your guard. There are older and more fouler things than Tina in the deep places of the earth." Hanadolf said. The group began to head down the tunnels. Soon they came to a cross road where Hanadolf did not know the way. He sat down and began to think while the rest rested.

Mikey looked down into the chasm and noticed a small ugly and deformed boy crawling below. "There's something down there." Mikey said to Hanadolf. "It's Bjarni." Hanadolf replied. "Bjarni?" Mikey asked. "Yes, he's been following us for three days." Hanadolf remarked. "He escaped the dungeons?" Mikey asked. "Escaped, or set loose?" Hanadolf grinned.

Bjarni placed a cold hand onto a rock and began to spy on the group. "Wicked memberses! Don't bann us from the forums, we don't spamm! Please, only for me?" He muttered. "He hates and loves the forum. He will never be rid of his greed for it." Hanadolf said. "It's a pity Cheesy didn't ban him when he had the chance." Mikey said. "Pity? It was pity that stayed Cheesy's hand. Many that live deserve banning, and some that are banned deserve life. Can you give it to them Mikey? Do not be too eager to dish out bannings and judgment. My heart tells me Bjarni will have some part to play before the end, for good or evil." Hanadolf said. "The pity of Cheesy may rule the fate of many."

"I wish the forum had never of come to me. I wish none of this happened." Mikey then said. "Of course you do. This stupid thing is costing us years of our lives. But that isn't for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces of work in the world Mikey besides the works of evil. Cheesy was meant to find the forum and in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought?" Hanadolf remarked. "Oh, it's this way!" He then said changing the subject and pointing right. "He's remembered!" Jay grinned. "No, but BMGia was full of gays, and they like to put things in their right ears, so I used common sense." Hanadolf grinned.

After some time, the group made it to a very large area that stretched for what seemed like miles. They continued through it to find a large doorway. Nateli rushed inside to find light shinning upon a single tomb. "No! NO!!" He cried. "Here lies Archiac, son of Homdin. Lord of BMGia. He is dead then." Hanadolf said reading the tomb. He then noticed a diary and picked it up. Opening to one of the pages he began to read¡K

"September 21st- Like oh my god, I just met the greatest guy today! We are getting together for waffles and sex later! I can't wait!" The diary began. The entry soon changed. "We cannot get out, they have taken the bridge. The drums, we like cannot get out! I won't get to see Chadly! They are coming!" It said. Suddenly, Jay accidentally knocked a dead body down a nearby well making gallons of noise! BAD JAY! YOU MADE US GET CAUGHT! >:O The drums began to beat and Mikomir ran to close the door just as a spit wad hit the door. He slammed it shut and sighed. "They have a cave Kelly!"(Aquatic Fury) he said.

Mikey's light saber began to vibrate. "This is strangely arousing!" Mikey grinned whipping it out. Mikomir and the others began to bard the doors. Everyone then drew their light sabers and waited for the monkeys to arrive. "Let them come! Here's one dwarf warrior that stills draws prompt." Nateli grinned. As the robot pirate ninja monkeys broke through, Kylegolas launched a sling shot arrow into one of them. It shrieked as its mechanical insides malfunctioned. After several more arrows, the door busted open and the robot pirate ninja monkeys smashed in flinging their Japanese throwing stars. "Avaste ye swabies!" One of them yelled.

Soon the hobbits rushed in to join the fray. What ensued was lots of violence and explosions! Lots more violence, and killing, and many many explosions. Thousands of killings and more violence and sex! Lots of sex. Suddenly though, the Cave Kelly crashed through the wall wearing dominatrix gear and carrying a big whip. It immediately tried to dominate Nateli, but he leapt away as Kylegolas shot a sling shot arrow at it. The Cave Kelly dominated many other robot pirate ninja monkeys, but it just couldn't get to Nateli. It then tried its luck with Kylegolas, but he snared the whip and leapt onto the Kelly's head.

With careful precision, Kylegolas rammed some sling shot bullets into the Kelly's skull. He then leapt off and continued to fight. Chiko began to kill the sexy things with his frying pan. After some time, Kelly noticed Mikey and ran after him knowing he was a sure domination. Mikey hid behind a block and what followed was a game of peek-a-boo. Soon though, Kelly found its domination and grabbed him. Mikey sliced Kelly with his light saber, and it fell back.

Soon Mikagorn leapt in to stop the best. After lots and lots of violence, Mikagorn was hit away and Kelly stuck his domination pole into Mikey's chest. Chiko cried out as Mikey fell down. Zak and Jay were mad! GRRRR! They leapt down and began to stab the Kelly with their light sabers. Kelly managed to throw Zak off, but Jay kept going. Soon Kylegolas shot two bullets into its head, and Kelly was banned! You are the weakest link, goodbye!

Chiko rushed to Mikey who was lying face down. Mikagorn pushed him and to their surprise he was alive! YAY! "I'm all right, I'm not hurt." Mikey said breathing heavily. "You should be dead!" Mikagorn remarked. "I think there's more to this outfit then meets the eye!" Hanadolf suggested. Mikey then unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the lethril. "You're full of surprises master Baggins!" Nateli grinned. The drums sounded again and the fellowship headed off.

After running for many miles, the robot pirate ninja monkeys were zeroing in. "Avaste ye swabies!" they yelled chucking their ninja stars. After several minutes, the group was surrounded. Suddenly, a very loud roar rang out through the area and the robot pirate ninja monkeys began to run. "What new devilry is this?" Mikomir asked. "A Brillrog...a child molester of the ancient world. This foe will rape us if we don't run!" Hanadolf yelled. The group took off in the opposite direction as the Brillrog chased.

Soon they came to a very large cliff. "Lead them on Mikagorn!" Hanadolf yelled. The group ran down the stairs but soon came to a gap in them. Kylegolas leapt across and called for the others. Hanadolf followed as spit balls began to strike. Kylegolas shot one with great precision with a sniper rifle. Zak and Jay jumped next as part of the stairs began to crack. Mikagorn then tossed Sam, but Nateli wouldn't be tossed. He leapt to the other side, but fell short and fell down into the chasm below. Soon, the stairs collapsed some more leaving Mikagorn and Mikey on the other side. The Brillrog roared again causing the rock to fall and break the stairs. It began to wobble, but Mikey and Mikagorn leaned forward and defied the odds of physics by leaping onto the other stairs.

The group began to run again and soon Nateli was running with them. "Where did you come from?" Kylegolas asked. "There was a trampoline down there!" Nateli grinned. After much running, the fellowship came to the bridge of Kazaa's Doom. Large RIAA billboards and lawyers littered the area saying Kazaa is bad! EVIL! >:O Suddenly, the Brillrog appeared! SCARY! It bellowed as it saw potential rapage- Hanadolf! The group ran across Kazaa's doom while receiving commercial after commercial telling them that bootlegging is wrong.

Hanadolf turned back and held up his staff. "We are not to be raped! Dark molestation shall not avail you! You shall not pass!" He yelled. Brillrog snorted and moved molest Hanadolf. "YOU SHALL NOT..." Hanadolf roared but Brillrog stepped on him. Blood oozed from below its foot. Brillrog was now saddened by the loss of its potential prey, and it quickly tried to rape what was left, but tripped and fell into the chasm below. "No!" Mikey yelled as he was pulled away by Mikomir. Spit wads were striking everywhere as they ran.

Soon the group was outside and everyone was crying. BOO HOO, Hanadolf died! :*( "Kylegolas, get them up!" Mikagorn yelled. "Give them a moment for pities sake!" Mikomir yelled. "By nightfall these hills will be swarming with robot pirate ninja monkeys. We must head for the Drimill forest!" Mikagorn commanded. The group moved the others up and then looked for Mikey. He was on the edge of the cliff with sadness in his eyes...poor Mikey!

[aragornbird]

Wow, I never thought I'd be posting in the fanfic forums, but this is just too much! I haven't read all of them yet, but I can tell it will be great. Keep it up, Mikey, and remember to include me in there, somewhere...

[Craig]

*replies*

very nice. very funny. I can't wait until I make an appearance though! *cough Craomer*

[Jay]

I have been slow and haven't read all of it - but my part rawks lol XD It's very funny and I love it all so far, especially my parts :} I think I do need to watch LoTR sometime though ;o You rule Mikey. =)

Okay maybe when I get spare time I'll read it all o_O Fantastic though, keep it up... though I probably don't need to say that at your supposedly supreme potential demonstrating now. =D

[Lady Vulpix]

Cool! So Tina got a part after all! And so did Brillo! XD
I liked the way you mentioned violence without describing it. It was funny. And saw were the lawyers of Kazaa's Doom.
Keep up the good work!

By the way, in the 4th-to-last paragraph you said Mikagorn tossed Sam, but Sam stayed on Ghettodale. I assume it was Chiko who was tossed.

[RJdude]

lol, the funniest one yet. Suziemon is hilarious, as are most of the other characters. However, remorse for Bjarni was something Hanada would never have, but oh well.

[Mikey]

Originally posted by Lady Vulpix

By the way, in the 4th-to-last paragraph you said Mikagorn tossed Sam, but Sam stayed on Ghettodale. I assume it was Chiko who was tossed.

Actually, it was a typo for Chiko. It wasn't a typo of Samwen, I accidentally put Sam (Samwise) You find I may do that once and a while so catch me!

[Mikey]

Just a little reminder. Part 4A will be done tomorrow. I knw it's been some time but I have been very busy this week. So get excited (especially Tina who has been waiting to see her character for ages). Have fun waiting!

[Mikey]

Finally, the wait is over. Part 4A is here. Just one more part of the Fellowship of the Pokemasters to go then we enter the Two Imaginary Houses! This part is a little short, but I wanted part 4 divided. Expect Part 4B within the week! Ciao!

The day wore on as the group ran toward Drimill Forest. It was not long before the entered the tree lines and began single file through the mysterious place. "Keep up wee hobbits! They say a great rapist lives in these woods…an Elf ***** of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell and are never seen again." Nateli said to the hobbits as they pressed on.

"Mikey…" A voice suddenly rang out in Mikey's head. "You're coming to Molesteon. These are the footsteps of doom. You bring great evil here…and a great many things I can rape forum bearer!" It said. Mikey looked around confused. This voice was very manly, yet womanly, and it made him nervous. "Are you ok Mr. Sexy?" Chiko asked. Mikey ignored him and continued to look around.

"Well, here's one dwarf she could rape easily. I have the eyes of a flea and the ears of a giraffe." Nateli said grinning. Suddenly, a great many sniper rifles were aimed at his face. Everyone looked around scared as more sniper rifles were aimed around. Suddenly, one went off and Fred fell down dead. "Who the hell was Fred?" Zak asked turning around. "Who cares, just an extra." Jay replied.

"The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark." Kyledir (Dark Prince) said stepping out of the foliage. "Kyledir of Molesteon!" Mikagorn grinned. "We come in peace, we need your protection." He continued in Jeevanish. "Mikagorn, these woods are perilous! We should turn back!" Nateli yelled peering at the sniper rifle in his face. "You have entered the bathhouse of the lady of the woody. You cannot go back." Kyledir grinned. "Come, she is waiting. It's been a long time since she has raped anything but the men that live with her."

The group continued through the forest till they came upon Molesteon, which was actually just the Ewok village. The fellowship was scaling a winding set of stairs while passing by many Ewoks holding candles. "Yub yub!" One said to the other as they stared at the group. "Uki Uki!" It replied. Soon they came to the very top where a bright light shone over a large hut. To the side was Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Chewbacca being roasted.

Out of the hut came a very short black haired elf named Tinadriel (Mrs. Virtual Reality). Alongside her was another elf, Daneborn (IloveXtina). They slowly walked down the stairs, but Tinadriel would not take her eyes off Mikey. Mikey turned away as she made her descent. Suddenly, Tinadriel slipped on her large dress and came tumbling down the stairs. Daneborn wobbled a bit from the sudden fall, but regain his balance.

Smiling embarrassedly, Tinadriel got up and dusted herself off. "Eight are here but nine set out from Ghettodale. Tell me where is Hanadolf? I must desire to speak with him." Daneborn said. Mikagorn peered up into Tinadriel's eyes. It was hard not to look at her, but he knew once they made eye contact she would definitely want to rape him.

"He has fallen into shadow…Brillrog raped him. That bastard! I wanted the chance!" Tinadriel said calmly. Mikey looked up at this with sadness in his eyes. "The quest stands on the edge of a p*nis…stray but a little and I shall rape every single one of you." Tinadriel then spoke. She then turned her head to Mikomir and grinned. A large robotic lock on screen locked onto his face and she grinned further. Mikomir knew he was targeted, and it made him cry.

Tinadriel's eyes then wandered to Chiko, who stared back at her like he wanted to be raped. "Yet hope remains…while the company is true." She then grinned. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. I will come to each of your rooms to steal your virginity soon." She then said. Mikey looked up confused and now wanting to look in her eyes. Nateli then raised his hand. "Yes?" She asked. "My virginity is already gone!" He yelled. "Well then I'll just have to settle for your anus's virginity then." She grinned. "I do have strap ons you know." Mikey was now looking straight at her, and he heard the same voice from before. "Welcome Mikey of the shire…one who has seen the EYE!" It yelled as her eyes targeted him.

The Ewoks had just finished eating Han Solo and the others, and they were now being very helpful to the group. Kylegolas returned to camp to find everyone resting. "They mentioned Hanadolf." He said. "What did they say about him?" Jay asked intriguingly. "I have not the balls to tell you." Kylegolas replied. Mikey put his head down.

Mikomir was now leaning against a tree in sadness. Mikagorn approached. "Take some rest, these borders are well protected." He said. "I shall find no rest here." Mikomir replied. "I heard her voice inside my head. She wants to rape me first. She then spoke of my father and the fall of TPMdor. She then said that there is still hope, but I cannot see it." Mikagorn sat down beside Mikomir. "My father is a noble man, but even now his rule is fading." Mikomir said. "And now I lose faith. He looks to me to make things right, to see the glory of TPMdor restored. Have you ever seen it Mikagorn?"Mikomir then asked placing his hand on Mikagorn's knee and rubbing it back and forth.

Mikagorn shoved it off. "I have seen the white city many years ago, but that won't make me have feelings for you sicko!" He yelled. "One day, our paths will lead us there together." Mikomir replied. "Are you insane? I will not be you manbait!" Mikagorn said and walked off.

Meanwhile, Tinadriel had just finished her molestation of Nateli's *** and was now heading towards the hobbit's tent. As she walked, Mikey was woken by the sound of her monstrous footsteps. He got up and followed her when she passed the camp and headed down some stairs to a birdbath. Some tiny birds were happily playing in it. With a grin, she flicked her fingers and a large monitor lizard leapt up and ate them whole. She laughed at their screaming calls.

She then turned and took her vase to the nearby waterfall and got some whiskey from the fall. Mikey slowly walked down the steps as not to alarm her or provoke her into raping him. "Will you look into the birdbath?" She asked him as he made it down. "What will I see?" He asked. "Even the wisest cannot tell. Besides bird **** and feathers and blood, it shows things that were, things that are, and some things that have not come to pass." She then replied and poured the whiskey into the bath.

Mikey slowly approached and peered into the large bath. The whisky faded and what he saw was devastating. All of his friends were being raped by Tinadriel, then handed over to Suziemon's robot pirate ninja monkeys for slaughtering. O yeah, lots of burning and violence too, with explosions! The forum began to come out of his shirt and into the whisky. As the eye of Hunter formed, Mikey pulled back and toppled over. He quickly got back up knowing he was in a vulnerable position for rapage.

"I know what it is you saw. For it is also in my mind. It is what will come to pass if you shall fail. The fellowship is braking. It has already become. He will try to take the forum. You know of whom I speak." Tinadriel said. "One by one it will destroy them all." Mikey sighed and pulled the forum from his neck. "If you ask it of me…I will give you the one forum." He said. "You offer it to me freely. I cannot deny that my heart has truly desired this." Tinadriel said stepping up.

At that moment, she ceased to be Tinadriel and turned into Barbra Streisand! AHHHH! "In place of dark lord you would have a stage frightened ****ty singer! Not beautiful but the ugliest person! The biggest nose in the world! All will love me and despair!" She yelled, then slowly turned back into herself. "I passed the test. I will diminish and go into the west and remain Tinadriel." She said as Mikey closed his hand. "I cannot do this alone." He said sadly. "You are a forum bearer. To bear a forum of power is to be alone." Tinadriel replied.

"This task was appointed to you and if you do not find away, then we could just find some other stupid idiot to take you place." She then said. "Then I know what I must do…but I'm afraid to do it." Mikey remarked. Tinadriel smiled and walked up to him. "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. Don't be such a *****." She grinned and kissed his head. "Now let's go get you raped shall we?" She smiled.

Meanwhile, at Suziemon's Imaginary House, Suziemon was now giving her pep talk to her Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys. "Do you know how the Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys came to be?" She asked. The Monkey roared in reply. "They were normal monkeys. Taken by the shoguns of Japan and trained as ninjas, then again to the Pirates of the Caribbean and taught to be pirates. Finally their arms were torn off and replaced by robotic arms and large bazookas were mounted on their shoulders. Now, perfected! My fighting Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys! Whom do you serve?" Suziemon finished. "Suziemon!" The Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkey General yelled.

The Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys were now perfected, and they were just being suited up. They were also smacked with the white hand of Suziemon, leaving an imprint on their faces. With the bazookas mounted they were ready. "Cut them down! Do not stop until they are found! You do not know pain or fear! You will taste man flesh!" Suziemon roared. The Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys began to cheer. "One of the Halflings carries something of great value. Bring them to me alive and unspoiled." Suzmiemon then said to the general. "Kill the others!" With that, the vast army of Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys ran out of her Imaginary house to find the fellowship.

The group was now leaving Molesteon in tiny boats. As Mikey passes Tinadriel on shore, he recalled what she had given him. "Farewell Mikey Baggins. I give to you the firefly of Tinadriel. Let it be a light for you in dark places when all other lights go out." Tinadriel said in his flashback. Each of them was also given elfish cloaks that could make them invisible! YAY! The stream wound out into a vast river where the group traveled for some time.

Chiko turned to see a log floating downstream. On it was some ugly boy talking to himself. "Bjarni is still after us." Mikagorn noted. Bjarni continued to steer the log, but it suddenly was swept into a current and went over a large waterfall. "Guess not anymore." Chiko grinned. In another area, the Ultra Robot Pirate Ninja Monkeys were hot on their trail.

For several days they traveled the river while being pursued by the creatures, when they soon came to a wide canyon. On each side were statues of Kevin, the ultimate Pokemaster. "Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin!" Mikagorn grinned as they passed through. As they went by, the arm of one fell off and crashed into the sea. "Cheap pieces of crap if you ask me." Nateli replied. The boats steered away from the river as they approached a waterfall and the fellowship was now on land again!

[homeofmew]

People Who I would Rape For Real (Online)
I wouldn't rape anyone IRL but this is totally not correct :p
"Non Rapeables"
> Nathan
> Hunter
> The Muffin Man

to Killing Suzies Monkeys
For being Drunk
Turning into an FUGLY singer
for me being in the story ^_^
For giving up the forum

[Lady Vulpix]

Tina got 2 parts and left me with none? That's not fair!
How did she convince you to do that?

[homeofmew]

;o I only got 1 part ~ IloveXtina is CLEARLY NOT ME!
I am only one person may I add !

[Mikey]

Don't worry Gabby. You have a part that will come up soon. I wouldn't forget ya!